When the big guy at the top for vanity sake changes the name of a git team, breaking every auto deployment and local repo needing updating for every fucking one. console.log("fucking shit balls")

Client - "We absolutely totally 100% neeeeeeeeed this plugin added to our wp site that another team built. "

Team - "Nope sorry you can't have it the plugin was deprecated 2 years ago, and the service you want to pull a feed from dost work like that any more. Here are other options A B C D. "

Client - "No we want it. You have to make it work or we are cancelling our account."

Team - "see ya"

Every time I say "fuck it just use an iFrame"

Having to explain why GET has its place, but shouldn't be used for anything that shouldn't be viewed ... especially to some one that should fucking know not to show the damn auth credentials. Great thanks for your user and pass, can I get your CC number next please.

The development life cycle when taking over a project is much like that of a slightly retarded wizards first steps into utilizing the powers of the dark forces.

CONFUSION => CLARITY => FAILURE => CONFUSION => CONFUSION => BROKEN KEYBOARD => CONFUSION => UNKNOWN MAGIC => SUCCESS => CONFUSION => BORED OF THIS IT FUCKING WORKS => PUSH => SHUTDOWN

Yeah let's just build this fully featured app on Wordpress. I don't see why you're saying we shouldn't.

My day is basically request methods going to my endpoint '/api/v33/nfwg/WHATDOYOUWANT'

Response '{ "primaryResp":"sorry no fucks were given"}

Me - Yeah great so you say it's big data we are gonna be analyzing and having to store, are you currently utilizing a service and aggregating any of it into smaller manageable segments?

Client - well yeah it's lots and lots of data, we can share it with you if you sign a nda.

Me - ok... sure, how are you gonna share it with me.

Client - oh I can email you the spreadsheet.

Me - .... Spreadsheet ... Um... Ok... 'Stands up and walks away to tell this as the most interesting meeting of the month, to some one that will get it'

--

Buzz word for the win!

$fml: rm /* -R

Instead of /devtemp/*

Yes it was a crazy recovery!

If I never see the extension .scss again it will be to soon! #stylus

Forget the white space and excessive tab spam. Just fucking comment your thoughts dumbass.

CLIENT "So my nephew who does stuff with computers built it and we are ok with how it all works so don't worry about changing that. "

DEV "so like you have a public form with no input filtering, spam mitigation let alone sanitization or remote concern for security. Basically you have a Json flat file that is 34mbs of links to, viagra, replica watches, nock off name brands and one real estate company. It is getting about 15 submissions an hour. Since you don't want me changing how it works are you happy to just leave all that ?"

CLIENT "no no we don't want all that but we have no route to delete it, can you just stop all the spam and let us continue on?"

DEV "ok so back to my first question can we rebuild all of this properly, or do you really want to just leave it all"

:/ FML

When you look at a layout and consider the hour it will take to refactor and clean stuff out to remove built functionality.

Nah fuck it - display: none !important;

Hey you guys rock @dfox & @trogus : got the stickers in South Africa !! Keep up the epic work!

I'd rather be writing some logic and magic than sitting at a babies 1st birthday party. Damnit wife I want out!

When I git. I fucking commit!

When you stare at the task list and all you see is blockers cause your clients can't get their shite together.

... Fuck it , time to learn something. And charge some one to do it.

I swear the day I find a designer that understands the DOM I am going to eat my cap.

When the client amends the content and removes critical items to be surfaced via the API just because. Fuck it I hate working with immature API's, guess fraud data till they fix it I hate doing shite twice.

Stay DRY!

Well shit! ... "We don't really validate we just give you a 404 if the field is formatted incorrectly, that is part of the V3" how the fuck do I know that.

Days spent trouble shooting these cannot find errors, for a damn incorrectly formatted date field. Fuck sakes!

My total nightmare begins with:

"Can't you just ... " -client

So I am debugging a connector library for an api that users curl.

I am fighting my ass off with errors and a lack of debug, testing or thought for CI

Take a poke around this set of classes only to find.

Postman token in the opts. and a removal of ssl check. What you straight copied from postman.

Like seriously clean up your fucking code if you are gonna put something out as production ready to your team.

Console.log('fuck');

Ffs when a designer just increase the mobile viewport size because their design didn't fit in UI.

Oh well, scale 0.8 here we come asshole.