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Man do I love receiving bug reports and comments in Turkish, Russian, Portuguese or Iranian. I should really just start replying to those in Polish.
I added a humorous pinned post saying “By the way, I can only reply to you either in English, Polish or Dutch :)” to the program where I receive such reports.
I am aware it won’t do jackshit, because people can’t read.
In the begining of time, when The Company was small and The Data could fit in some fucking excel sheets, Those Who Came Before implemented some java tool to issue invoices, notify customers and clear received payments.
Then came the Time Of The Great Expanse, when The Company grew to unthinkable levels. Headcount increased with each passing day, and The Data shows that everything was going great!
But when the future seemed bright, came The Stall-Out. The days when The Company could not expand as fast as it did before. And Those Who Came Before left, abandoning their Undocumented Java Tool to its own luck.
Those who came after knew nothing of the inner workings of the Undocumented Java Tool. They knew only that the magical Jar would take a couple fucking excel spreadsheets and spit out reports and send emails like magic.
And those were The Dark Days.
In the darkness, The Data grew to be a monster. Soon a fucking excel spreadsheet could not hold The Data contained any longer. Those Who Came After, fearing the wrath of The Undocumented Java Tool, dared not mess with its code. Instead, they fucking cut away the lowest volume transactions from the fucking input spreadsheet, and left the company to report the unbilled invoices as "surprise losses". Fucking script kiddies, were Those Who Came After.
Then, at The Darkest of Days (literally, Dec 21st), marched into the project The Six Witchers, who fear not the Demon of Refactoring.
This story is still unfolding. Will The Six Witchers manage to unravel the mysteries of The Undocumented Java Tool? Will they be able to reverse engineer the fucking black box, and scale it's magic into a modern application?
Will they decrease revenue forecasting error by at least 2% in a single strike?
Only the future will tell.16
Fuck Reddit admins. Fuck them in ass with a rusted iron rod. Then pour in some liquid steel and dehydrate them to death.
Remember the toxic girl who stalked and harassed me? She did that on Reddit.
After multiple reports to faggot admins, no action was taken against her multiple accounts.
I ended up creating few alt accounts for my mental well-being.
I have been contributing fairly well from all my accounts earning community trust and reputation, even behind the mask of anonymity.
Now, day before yesterday, a teen started abusing me for no reason on a local sub. I ended up ignoring.
Next morning I am notified that admins banned my account permanently.
What the fuck! I did not violate any policy and yet I was kicked out.
I raised an appeal for those fags to look into this and uplift the ban.
Fuckers banned all my accounts permanently without giving any reason.
Instead of taking action against retards who harass people, these bhenchods ban people who contribute in a good way.
I truly wish, that the person who made this decision rots to death while feeling the pain of regret.
I am soooo fucking annoyed. I have been using Reddit for many good reasons and have found it really helpful in various areas of my life.12
Ticket user story:
“Brown Chicken Report A and B do not include rows for Blue Chickens. I want to see Blue Chickens in both Brown Chicken reports.”
“Currently, the Brown Chickens reports mentioned above do not accurately report Blue Chickens. The columns P and Q are incorrect and need to be updated. See below:
<Copy/pasted table from All Animals Report showing a White Chicken>”
Are you okay? Do you have brain damage?
(Also: Blue Chickens are not supported and do not exist)6
Boss needs certain stats pulled from database once a year for board meeting. This time I delegate it to a junior dba/sysadmin. He looks at my 3-year-old docs that I hastily jotted down and pasted and included my rambling notes with results from way back then. Mostly they were just to jog my own memory, not to be a really neat, clean instruction guide. He does the queries correctly, but in ticket for boss he pastes also all my notes from the docs. boss gets confused, "what is this other number, I don't get it?!" We have to have a meeting of the 3 of us and waste an hour or so just to figure out what went wrong, finally I realize what junior guy accidentally did. Moral of story: to avoid baffling the nontechs, always simplify, simplify, simplify. Alternate moral of story: before delegating a task that seems old hat to you, always review your notes/docs and make sure they're ready for someone else to use them.2
Last sprint is a mess.
Working on three products that are related one with another a little bit.
1. Bug reports are coming in;
2. We fix it and give for QA to test;
3. QA starts testing and it doesn’t work;
4. Because another team updated something in product A and product B depends on it.
Repeat for straight 14 days1
Worst fight was at a former job. I complained about a senior-level employee who made unprofessional comments about me.
I asked followup questions about a request. I was told the request was correct. Turns out the other employee half read/didn’t read my question because she decided I was trying to cause trouble. When my boss reviewed my work and asked why it looked weird, other employee actually wrote in the JIRA comments “Oh, my apologies. I thought [name] was question the request. [name] changed the wrong thing.” She said the silent part out loud. And the wrong thing she accused me of changing…the website always looked like that and my boss told her so. (Also, not the first time she forgot what the website looked like.) But my boss didn’t make any JIRA comment about the “questioning the request” part.
My boss was really downplaying what had happened. Like other employee just made a mistake. That wasn’t a mistake. He wasn’t going to bring it up with other employee’s boss. It was weird because the incident was a written conversation so it was really hard to deny the facts. I also had the original email notification in case she tried to go back and change her comment. I think my boss either wasn’t used to defending his direct reports or didn’t have the power to do so since most of his department (including me) was slated for layoffs in a few months.
Well, I got the last laugh. A week later, I received an offer. I put in my notice during the company’s busiest time of year. And my boss actually asked me to extend my notice by three weeks. Really?! Expecting me to forgive and forget that whole “questioning the request” incident. I stuck with my original date.
I really dislike micromanagement. I don't want to dictate details. I don't like hierarchies where my direct reports obey me.
The only thing that obeys me is my hands, with them, I write the exact code I want. I don't hire another pair of hands. I hire another brain.
When you see your direct reports as professionals, you can give declarative tasks: "make a pretty website footer", "make that page load quicker". If you leave implementation details for your direct reports to decide, this doesn't mean they'll fuck up. They are professionals too, and if you personally interviewed them, you better believe they can handle it.
So I'm working on something and I get a message from the business owner saying that something is missing in production, we need to fix this quickly. Turns out it's some missing images. We have a placeholder in place, so no harm done, users just see a placeholder image there and it's a minor thing. (These images cannot be uploaded by the user, because no one had the time to complete a feature for it. So business people bother developers.)
Anyway, the business owner escalates this into a request to add those images quickly to the repo and push it to production asap. I said that it can be done, because it is very low risk, but as I've seen this kind of "going straight to the developer with my problems" behavior before, I wanted to bring the issue to a broader audience. Then the product owner (PO) steps in and asks why wasn't he involved in this. Then other PO's step into the conversation as well, because they manage the process to prioritize and handle bug reports. Then someone posts the bug and error prioritization assessment and what do you know, judging the issue from that scale, it ranks as being "low".
"But what do we tell the customers?!". Oh, fuck you! It's one customer! Not everything can be prioritized as critical! If we stop work to fix every single thing we get feedback on without doing a proper assessment and prioritization, that's all we will be doing.
This is why PO's exist. They will push the breaks and assess the situation, then prioritize the work accordingly.3
I rewrote a giant VBA workbook (lots of business formulas, custom pivots of the data) into Java apps/microservices so that new tabs, other reports can be easily added using (JSON) data from the other apps.
In general, I was the only dev in the team that understood that monoliths are hard to change or scale...
is it so hard to screen capture only the relevant details necessary to reproduce a bug? i just watched a video where for 2:30 min, literally nothing happened. and half of rest of the time, they randomly click stuff, as if they've forgotten what they want to show. nobody can give me this lost lifetime back. and the testuff video player is so crappy that i can't even reasonably jump forward / backward or increase playing speed. i even prefer crappy, wiggly upright phone videos if they are on point and don't steal my time. SHOW ME THE BUG ALREADY2
Help. We're starting to feel the effects of unnecessary micromanagement.
We're a small startup. The kind with less than 10 devs spread across different domains. We've been fine with a Kanban approach as the velocity/flow of deliverables don't necessarily warrant a Scrum approach yet.
Our boss has been wanting to adopt Scrum-style sprints, even shoved and assumed that were doing these sprints and demanding Scrum-style reports (and meetings!!!) when they are, in reality,
2) a waste of time
Absolutely none of the team members want this. But our boss insists on having it. We like our boss, but lately things are getting out of control
What can we do to mitigate and prevent this?3
Best: Getting fired from a shitty company that regularly lied to middle-management after standing up for my team.
Worst: Losing a team of fantastic direct-reports that went to bat for each other, helped each other out, and help me be a better engineer.
(Spoiler alert: same job)
Ok being a developer and a technical assistant at the same time
Yesterday was out in the field we where fixing network at one insurance company and extending telephone line to of the offices....man what a labor intense job....
we had to drill a whole on one of those metal trunking.... man those fuckers are hard as fuck
having had spent the whole fucking day out the office i get a call saying 1 of the laptops at the office didnt have OS installed and one had a defected screen and they where in stock
and Im supposed to be checking these laptops when they come before going into stock
and Im like WTF!!??? confused and shit + being tired
got back to the office and fuck it was a shit show
the whole technical department got fucked over this and Up to now I have no fucking idea how those laptops got into stock and we missed it
My only answer is they never came for checking and if you try to air that out they will say you are try to blame some1 else for the fuck up and FUCK it
We had to write reports this morning me had 2 from the tender issue
fuck this fucking shity place
I am hearing reports from less computer savvy people that some Apple devices will refuse to charge the battery if updates are not applied. Supposedly as a way to strong arm users to update. I cannot find anything on this when searching.
Has anyone heard of this?9
Note to AltRant testers:
1. Tomorrow, I am going to force-expire build 1583 (the big update with the weekly group rant support) in favor of the build with the bugfix (mentioned here: https://devrant.com/rants/5888282) for consistency and for more up-to-date crash reports/feedback.
2. Limited macOS support is coming extremely soon, I will post a comment here in order to notify you about the added support. I believe the same TestFlight link is going to work for both macOS and iOS. NOTE: I haven't invested too much time with polishing the experience for macOS, so there will be bugs, there will be layout glitches and there will be compromises. I am well aware of all macOS issues but I just want to release something and then fix it along the way.1
So much dead code. Things that are not used anymore. Things that are expected to work, but don’t because of website redesign. Does it need to be fixed if no one reports it broken? Just so much dead code.💀1