When your boss asks for a web application that has drag and drop, resize, popup, fade inand out, dynamic styling and mobile compatibility but must work on IE8
You feel like:
Mission: Go to the moon
Tools: Broom's stick
Yeah i'll just pretend to be a witch and fly away

Mission Impossible :D

Once upon a time in Devland, there were two best friends @Alice and @Michelle and they worked together at The DevCo company as developers.
After a tough day handling an @-ANGRY-CLIENT-, they thought that they had to go and @RantSomewhere and so they went to a café. At the café, they ranted about some stupid clients, and @theItalianGuy at the third floor of their office building who never picked up calls, and @thatJavaGuy from the second floor who, they thought, was @notarealDev, and the usual stuff about their work. Somewhere in between, @Alice thought it would be @funvengeance to @hack @theNSA; “@karma is coming to get them”, said @Michelle.
To do this, they knew they’d have to take help from none other than @Gandalf who lived in a nearby @cave. So, the next day, taking a leave from work, @Alice and @Michelle embarked on journey to meet @Gandalf. After about an hour’s drive, they reached @Gandalf’s @cave. @Michelle went ahead to knock on @Gandalf’s rusty cave door. Being a lazy @necromancer, he magically opened his door 2 minutes later. “Who is't dares to disturb me in mine own catch but a wink?” shouted a voice from the back; “We’re two developers from DevCo and we need your help in our mission to @hack @theNSA”, shouted @Michelle. After a few seconds, he replied, ”Hmm… N'rmally I wouldst sendeth thee to mine own cousin @Hagrid, but in thy case, I sayeth thee shouldst visiteth the detective who is't goeth by the nameth @S-Holmes”. @Alice replied back, “Thank you, Sir @Gandalf, we’ll get help from this @S-Holmes, I’ve heard that he’s an @exceptionalGuy”; “Mine own pleasure, Farewell!” said @Gandalf, and the door closed shut.
So, @Alice and @Michelle went back to their car, and that time @Alice raised a question, “How are we gonna find this @S-Holmes? We don’t have a phone number or anything so we could contact this guy.”
“We should call @thatJavaGuy from work, I’ve heard he is a man of resources, he must know how to contact @S-Holmes”, said @Michelle.
And it was true, after a call with @thatJavaGuy, they were able to obtain @S-Holmes’s phone number.
“Howdy, this is @S-Holmes, what can I diddily ding dong do you for?”
“Hi, I’m @Alice, I’m from DevCo and I was hoping that I could get your help in our mission.”
“What kind of mission?”, asked @S-Holmes.
“We want to @hack @theNSA.”, replied @Alice.
“Okay… I think I might be able to hel-diddly-elp you! There’s an old and abandoned laberino noodly-near @stacked Street. It was made in @1989 and since then, it houses a magical computeroo that can hel-diddly-elp you in your mission. So, you just have to connect the computeroo to the Internet and you can diddily ding dong do your programmeroo thing and then you'll have access to the the noodly-nsa diddily ding dong database!”, answered @S-Holmes.
S-Holmes continued, “But I shall warn you, there's a riddly-rumorino that the laberino was abandoned because of an @electric-ghost that lurks there, but I bel-diddly-elieve it is just a computeroo program that was diddily ding dong designed to try to @stop hackers from accessing the top secret stuff!".
“Okay, thanks for your help! I bet we can handle whatever this @electric-ghost thing is, so… Goodbye!”, replied @Alice.
“Goodbye!”, said @S-Holmes and that ended their conversation.
Luckily, the @stacked Street was just a couple of miles away from them, so they reached the lab quickly.
As they got close to the lab they saw something that really surprised them…
--------
To be continued in part two...
(Do you want a part two? :/)

My first ever story is a little special because it is kind of dev related at it has "cameos" by various devranters, as you might have noticed.
How many did you count?
More in Part Two.

Thank you for reading and please, any feedback is welcome. Did you like it?
I haven't really revised it once, it is straight out of the keyboard.
Should I drop the "@" ?
But then it would impossible to spot some of the devRanters .
Let me know.

PS
What should be the title?
1)Alice in DevLand?
2)Adventures of Alice and Friends: Hacking the NSA?
You decide..(or maybe I'll pick the second one :D)

Hey Root, we have a high priority ticket for you! It's adding some columns to a report. Should be simple. Details are in the ticket.

First: reports are some of the most boring, drool-inducing drudgery i have ever worked on.

Second: Specs for these reports are a nightmare since everything is ... very indirectly tested, and the specs are everywhere but where you'd expect them to be, so it's a lot of spelunking and trial/error. It's also slow as beans.

Anyway. The ticket's details are in ... not the worst engrish i've ever seen, but it's bad enough that i have no idea what they're asking despite (thus far) five attempts at deciphering it. There's also a numbered list of "fields" to add, so you'd think it would be straightforward. It is not. Half the list is crossed out, and half of the remaining items are feature requests (in yet more engrish), not columns to add. Also, one of the actual fields is impossible as the data it's asking for is not recorded anywhere.

yeah...

I cringe every time I see this person's name as the reporter because it's always the same. and honestly, there are more of these engrish people every month, and believe me: it isn't just a language barrier...

I accidentally deleted the Facebook chat history I had with someone. Wanting it back, I quickly whipped up a program for my Teensy to download and executes a Java app I wrote. The Java app gets the Facebook cookies, decrypts and uses them to read the chat history which will then be sent to me. Now all I have to do is insert my Teensy via USB and I'll have my chat back! *mission impossible music playing*

The challenge: a Dell Latitude XPi CD 133ST. It has a Pentium 133MHz, 32MB memory, and a 2GB HDD. I think I have some CD's with Mandrake from the late 90's. I hope. And mission impossible, an IBM Workpad z50 with a MIPS 4000 and 8MB split 50/50 between storage and program memory. Think that one will just be a large paper weight or door stop.

You've got to be kidding?

Gotham...

why, oh God, why do you have a scene in SE01 E17 at 9:20 min into the episode, where

J.Gordon uses reading glasses to a screen of an old B/W TV and magically is able to read a logo brand of a jacket.

How did the glasses add hundreds of more pixels to the resolution behind them.

This has ruined it for me, not watching now. Even Mission Impossible where they say "use DDOS to take over their systems" is better than this.

To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!

1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6 
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!

We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!

76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer) 
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.

WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)

First experience with Android: our professor of Software Engineering gave us a project about building an app for University indoor geolocation using BLE beacons.
Just found out that only a few PhD-level dudes did such a thing with much fewer good results.
Sounds like when your average-hedidnotrealizedwhataprogrammeris-friend asks you if you are able to hack Google Chrome.

What seemed like a simple task of upgrading our angular project and adding universal to it, is slowly beginning to feel like an impossible mission.

Fuck you npm, fuck windows and fuck whoever thinks javascript/typescript can be used for every god damn thing.

I fucking give up

So I'm at this clinic deploying this top notch clinical cutting edge health care system we worked on for 3 months with mission impossible team...
A nurse came to me:
"You must be the IT guy, can you fix my printer ?"
What would you say guys in this scenario ?

My first exposure to computers was my mom’s Commodore 64 when I was a kid. I used to love playing “Impossible Mission” and “Way Out” on there. Eventually I started programming in Basic on it.

So today I wanted to keep going in my project, did nothing in the morning had to do market and came back tired (didn't sleep enought last night) so tried to rest (couldn't because had to help in the kitchen with the lunch), had lunch then take a nap, nap evolved to a nice sleep, woke up @1600, got out to deliver a ddr3, came back @1700, wife asked to get burguers for dinner... went to buy dinner, watched a movie (gold) has sex... and now I'm writing this rant'... so coded nothing... now I'm playing bf4 just because fuck it I'm not sitting in my desktop now....

So have you ever wanted to do something in your project and couldn't because external reasons didn't allow you?

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It was supposed to be the investment of a lifetime. I had accumulated 182,000 BTC over the years, a fortune that represented decades of hard work, strategic decisions, and a bit of luck. When I was approached by what appeared to be a cutting-edge cryptocurrency investment platform, I was intrigued. The platform promised revolutionary returns through advanced trading algorithms and exclusive market insights. Against my better judgment, I decided to take the risk. Within weeks of transferring my Bitcoin to their platform, the unthinkable happened. The website went offline, the support team vanished, and my funds were gone. I had fallen victim to a sophisticated scam, and the weight of my loss was crushing. I felt a mix of anger, regret, and despair. How could I have been so careless? Desperate for a solution, I began researching ways to recover stolen cryptocurrency. That’s when I discovered *this website RECOVERY EXPERT service*, a company renowned for its expertise in blockchain forensics and ethical recovery services. Their mission was clear: to help victims of crypto scams reclaim what was rightfully theirs. I reached out to RECOVERY EXPER, half-expecting another dead end. But from the very first conversation, their team was different. They listened to my story with empathy, asked detailed questions about the scam, and assured me they would do everything in their power to help. Their confidence gave me a glimmer of hope, but I braced myself for the possibility that my Bitcoin might be gone forever. The team at RECOVRY EXPERT sprang into action. They explained that while cryptocurrency transactions are often considered irreversible, their advanced blockchain forensic tools could trace the movement of stolen funds across the blockchain. They collaborated with legal experts, cybersecurity specialists, and international law enforcement agencies to track down the scammers. The process was grueling and required immense patience. There were moments when the trail seemed to go cold, but the team at Galaxy Ethical Tech never gave up. They kept me informed every step of the way, providing regular updates and answering all my questions with clarity and professionalism. After weeks of relentless effort, I received an email that made my heart stop. RECOVERY EXPERT had successfully traced and recovered my lost Bitcoin. I couldn’t believe it—my 182,000 BTC was back in my wallet. Tears of relief streamed down my face as I read the confirmation. It felt like a miracle. The team didn’t just stop at recovering my funds; they also provided me with invaluable advice on how to secure my digital assets and avoid future scams. They emphasized the importance of using secure wallets, conducting thorough due diligence, and staying vigilant against “too good to be true” investment opportunities. Looking back, I can confidently say that RECOVER EXPERT saved me from financial ruin. Their expertise, persistence, and unwavering commitment to ethical practices turned what seemed like an impossible situation into a story of redemption. I will forever be grateful to them for giving me a second chance.
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SOUTHPOLE 5EYES HACKING AND RECOVERY SAVED MY LIFE (southpole5eyeshackingandrecoveringcompany.(com). My name is Jeff La Prova and I am from Milan, Italy. I want to share my story to help others who, like me, have suffered from a scam. A few years ago, I was the victim of a scam so devastating that it almost destroyed my life.
It all started with a young woman who claimed to be a soldier serving in Syria and Afghanistan. She seemed brave, honest, and compassionate. I trusted her. Over time, our bond grew and I fell deeply in love. So much so that I shared my Facebook password with her, thinking it was a gesture of trust. Little did I know that she would use this trust to take control of my account.
She convinced me to sell my house and send her all the money, promising me a new house, car, and a future together. For two years, I believed her promises, sacrificing everything I had. But one day, she vanished, like smoke in the wind. When I realized I had been scammed, I was devastated. My heart was broken, my finances were ruined, and my faith in humanity was completely gone. I was so bitter and broken that I couldn’t even look at women the same way anymore. I thought my life was over. Then, one day, I came across a review about Southpole 5Eyes Hacking and Recovery Company. I was skeptical at first. I had already been scammed once and the idea of ​​trusting someone else seemed impossible. But something inside me told me to give them a chance. Desperation can take you to places you would never consider. I approached them hesitantly, not expecting much. But to my surprise, their team was professional, empathetic, and highly knowledgeable. They assured me that they could get my money back, and even though I was full of doubts, I decided to trust them. By the end of September, they kept their promise. They got a significant portion of my lost money back. Even though the scammer had already spent part of it, getting even half of it back was a miracle. Half a loaf is better than nothing, as they say. Today I am sharing my story to encourage others like me. If you have been scammed, do not lose hope. Contact Southpole 5Eyes Hacking and Recovery. They gave me my life back when I thought everything was lost. They are reliable, trustworthy and persistent in their mission to help victims of online scams. Be patient and believe in the process. I can assure you that they will fight for you. I am living proof that recovery is possible and because of them, I have started to rebuild my life. Don't let scammers win. Do as I did. Contact Southpole 5Eyes and take back what is yours.

SOUTHPOLE 5EYES HACKING AND RECOVERY SAVED MY LIFE (southpole5eyeshackingandrecoveringcompany.)com). My name is Jeff La Prova and I am from Milan, Italy. I want to share my story to help others who, like me, have suffered from a scam. A few years ago, I was the victim of a scam so devastating that it almost destroyed my life.
It all started with a young woman who claimed to be a soldier serving in Syria and Afghanistan. She seemed brave, honest, and compassionate. I trusted her. Over time, our bond grew and I fell deeply in love. So much so that I shared my Facebook password with her, thinking it was a gesture of trust. Little did I know that she would use this trust to take control of my account.
She convinced me to sell my house and send her all the money, promising me a new house, car, and a future together. For two years, I believed her promises, sacrificing everything I had. But one day, she vanished, like smoke in the wind. When I realized I had been scammed, I was devastated. My heart was broken, my finances were ruined, and my faith in humanity was completely gone. I was so bitter and broken that I couldn’t even look at women the same way anymore. I thought my life was over. Then, one day, I came across a review about Southpole 5Eyes Hacking and Recovery Company. I was skeptical at first. I had already been scammed once and the idea of ​​trusting someone else seemed impossible. But something inside me told me to give them a chance. Desperation can take you to places you would never consider. I approached them hesitantly, not expecting much. But to my surprise, their team was professional, empathetic, and highly knowledgeable. They assured me that they could get my money back, and even though I was full of doubts, I decided to trust them. By the end of September, they kept their promise. They got a significant portion of my lost money back. Even though the scammer had already spent part of it, getting even half of it back was a miracle. Half a loaf is better than nothing, as they say. Today I am sharing my story to encourage others like me. If you have been scammed, do not lose hope. Contact Southpole 5Eyes Hacking and Recovery. They gave me my life back when I thought everything was lost. They are reliable, trustworthy and persistent in their mission to help victims of online scams. Be patient and believe in the process. I can assure you that they will fight for you. I am living proof that recovery is possible and because of them, I have started to rebuild my life. Don't let scammers win. Do as I did. Contact Southpole 5Eyes and take back what is yours

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When a phishing scam drained $190,000 in Bitcoin money we’d painstakingly saved to modernize our family farm’s irrigation system, I felt like the ground had been pulled out from under me. I nearly sold the land that had been in our family for four generations. The promise of smart irrigation, reducing waste and labor, had vanished in seconds. I blamed myself for trusting the sleek website of a so-called solar supplier. I was angry, ashamed, and exhausted.
My daughter, Mia, took the loss harder than anyone. She’s the reason I ventured into cryptocurrency in the first place. A tech-savvy teenager with a mind for innovation, she convinced me that blockchain could unlock a future where our farm thrived instead of just surviving. And now, because of a single click, that future seemed like a cruel mirage.
One evening, while I brooded over the loss, Mia stormed into the kitchen, a spark of hope in her eyes. She had found a post buried deep in a cryptocurrency and subreddit a testimonial from a retired engineer turned urban farmer. The name stood out: Salvage Asset Recovery. He swore by them, claiming they had tracked down his stolen Ethereum when no one else could. It sounded too good to be true. But with nothing left to lose, I reached out.
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Then, on the tenth day, the impossible happened. An alert from my crypto wallet: 89% of our stolen funds had been recovered. I read the message twice, breathless. We weren’t just getting our money back, we were getting our future back.
Today, our fields hum with smart sensors, monitoring moisture levels with pinpoint accuracy. We waste less water, save more time, and yield better crops. And Mia? She’s turned our hard lesson into a mission, teaching blockchain basics to other rural kids so they’ll be better prepared than we were.

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The ruthless world of cryptocurrency, where scams lurk behind every pixelated corner, losing Bitcoin can feel like a freefall into oblivion. I was there stranded in that abyss, clutching fragments of false promises after a sophisticated investment scam stripped me of $75,000 in BTC. Desperate, I scoured forums and recovery services, only to encounter bots, skeptics, and opportunists. Then came Digital Tech Guard Recovery: not just a service, but a revolution in redemption. What makes Digital Tech Guard Recovery extraordinary isn’t merely their technical prowess though it’s unparalleled but their unwavering commitment to turning victims into victors. Within hours of my inquiry, their team mapped out a forensic blueprint of my case. No sugarcoating, no guarantees just raw, transparent strategy. “Cryptocurrency scams are labyrinths,” their lead analyst warned, “but every labyrinth has an exit.” Their confidence wasn’t arrogance; it was earned through years of decrypting the undecipherable. The recovery unfolded like a cyber-thriller. Digital Tech Guard Recovery employed legal diplomacy to chase my funds across three continents. They navigated anonymous wallets with the finesse of hackers-turned-heroes. When my stolen BTC landed in a Seychelles-based exchange, their legal team froze the assets within 48 hours a feat I’d been told was “impossible” by others. Communication was their superpower. Daily encrypted briefings, real-time tracking dashboards, and even midnight Zoom calls to ease my anxiety they treated my case like a personal mission. Their lead investigator, Mark, became my lifeline, decoding complex processes into simple, actionable steps. “We’re not just recovering coins,” he reminded me. “We’re rebuilding trust. ”In 10 days, the unthinkable happened: 92% of my Bitcoin was restored. But Digital Tech Guard Recovery didn’t vanish after the win. They provided a post-recovery toolkit hardware wallet guides, scam-spotting seminars, and a direct line to their team for future crises. They turned my trauma into empowerment. To anyone doubting if stolen crypto can ever resurface: Digital Tech Guard Recovery is the answer. They’re not miracle workers; they’re master strategists in a digital warzone. In a landscape where hope is often another casualty, this team doesn’t just recover funds they resurrect faith. If your crypto nightmare feels endless, let Digital Tech Guard Recovery rewrite the ending. They did more than retrieve my Bitcoin; they gave me back my future.

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PyQt5 combined with pyinstaller is a f*ckn impossible mission.... if a .ui file is used you an forget it completely

Obviously the top item on the table is NN, the "end users" from both sides of the connection on the net are for the saving it, and the middlemen that only own the "cables" want it to be repealed.

We have the solution to end this issue forever. It wont be easy, nor will it be fast.. unless certain "entities" team with us in secrecy. (There's a reason why certain "entities" have stayed silent regarding NN, due to agreements to not get involved due to the risk of backlash. AND if NN is repealed Those Entities cannot fix the problem as their hands are tied to continue to provide content to the end users.) Read between the lines you will understand it will all make sense later.

I will make The Official Public Statement within 24 hours of the FCC Vote. That statement will be how to get involved, help, get us jump started in your area, funding, the ENTIRE details of the plan, goals, and timeline. AS WELL as how to contact us. This will take time and we are not a magic solution that will fix the problem overnight.

We are however THE solution to the underlying problem with ISPs of today. We have been researching for quite a while and digging deep into the entities that have caused us to get where we are now. The further you go digging into 'THEM' the more pissed off you become as you truly realize whats going on and has been on among the ISPs its MUCH deeper than you are being told.

OUR solution will remove all of "them" from the equation completely as well as being faster, and cheaper than the Tier 1 as you wont be paying for the connection or speed, you would be paying for the hardware/overhead cost. AND we will be bringing you closer to the content providers than EVER before.

AND we will be the only solution capable for competing in the current Tier1 Monopoly zones, I promise you they cannot match our plan's price, IF they did it would be only as a loss leader and NOT a sustainable long term solution for those competing with us at are for-profit....

In order for our solution to work, and to keep the internet service non-bias, well non-bias from OUR members :) this will need to be a collective effort, focused one clearly defined vision. WE WILL AND WE MUST ALL set "profits" aside on this as profits in selling nothing other "connection" to the internet has gotten us in the mess we are in now. AND YES we realize profits help maintain and upgrade the infrastructure, BUT that isn't true in this case...Overhead from our view includes those anticipated costs.

Smaller ISPs will need to make a decision, give up profits, become one with us, and be apart of the mission OR they will be left to suffer at the mercy of the ISPs above them setting the cost of bandwidth eventually leading to their demise.

This will happen because we wont be bound by the T1s .... WE would be the "Tier 0" that doesn't exist ;)

This sounds crazy, impossible, BUT its not, it will work WILL happen, regardless of the FCC's vote. as if the FCC choices to keep NN, its only a matter of time till the big lawyers of the ISPs find some loophole, or lobby enough to bring us back to this.

Legistlation is NOT the solution its just a band-aid fix as the cancer continues to grow within.

PLEASE understand that

Until the vote is made, and we release what we are doing, stay put, hang in, it will all be explained later, we are the only true solution.

BIG-ISPs WILL REGRET WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!

What needs to be understood by all is with net neutrality inplace the ability to compete aginst the Tier 1s directly over customers and reinvent the internet to lower or remove costs completely, increase speeds AND expand to underserved/unserved communities ITS NOT POSSIBLE WITH NN

NN REPEAL is the only way to the fixing the problem for good... yes the For profit BIG ISPs will benefit but not forever.. as repealing it opens the doors for outside the box big picture innovators to come in and offer something different, the big ISPs have clearly over looked this small detail being the possibility of a “NonProfit CoOp TIER 1 ISP” entering into the game thru end users and businesses working together as one entity to defeat them... THE FOR PROFIT ISPs over looked this because they are blinded by the profit potential of NN Repeal, never did they consider our option as a possible outcome because no one has attempted it....

We will unite as one

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