My brother and I were checking out this new restaurant that had opened up recently. As we enter,

I inadvertently blurt out, "Hey! This place has a nice UI!"

Brother - "Wut?"

Me - "Ambience, I meant ambience."

Visited my parents again today!

Arrived home.

Suddenly my sister starts to talk about the new dutch mass surveillance law and how it's all bad and the possible consequences.

😶😐😮

Normally I'm the one who says that and is told to shut up after a while.

I'm a proud brother!

NOT A RANT

My brother is teaching himself how to code. Couldn't be prouder

My brother and I have been messing with our IBM 5150 and doing cool stuff with it. I got it to play a youtube video via telnet via my bro's mac via mplayer with libcaca (ascii video output) + youtube-dl (a youtube downloader. The mac is doing all the heavy lifting, but it is still cool to see these images on a IBM 5150, just by typing a few commands on that old keyboard... more fun projects to come with this old thing.

A few years ago, i got a call which went like this:

Phone: *rings*

Me: *looks at call, recognises the number and picks up*

Me: "Hello! Haven't heard from you in a while! How are you doing?"

Him: "I have a problem with my PC, could you..."

Me: *hangs up*

Aside from not even getting a "hello, how are you?" at the start of the call, here's the plot-twist:

A - This was my goddamn Brother calling

B - It was my goddamn birthday

I was activating virtualenv in powershell when my younger brother came in.

Me: *all nervous* please don't think I'm hacking or trying to set off a bomb. (He always thinks I'm hacking and tells on me.)

Brother: *silent*

Me: *even more nervous* I don't want my laptop to get taken away. Don't tell on me and say I'm hacking, because I'm not.

Brother: Oh, I know you're not hacking this time.

Me: You do? *relieved.*

Brother: Yeah, because this time it's a blue background, not a black one.

Me: Oh, haha. So you're only scared of things such as these? *opens CMD and Git Bash* you know, just because it's dark themed, doesn't mean it's malicious. Besides it—

Brother: oooOooOh! You're hacking again! I'm telling on you!

*Note to self: Never use dark theme in front of the ignorant again.)

My brother logging in to my facebook to post "i m gayy".

Things were simpler back then.

Sister was getting a new phone (she likes iphones but the jackplug removal made her go towards android as well as the prices) and there was this Deezer family deal. So she Signal'd me asking if I'd like to join the deezer family and I was like 'yeah sure but just remember that there's a big chance of me moving to another country after my study, is that okay with this subscription?'
Sales guy: It's limited to the country the official subscriber is in.
Sister: 'Oh but my brother is a smart IT guy, he can probably setup a VPN server here so that he can still use the app.'

She told that the face of the sales guys was like 'what the actual fuck just happened'.

She called me afterwards telling the story and also 'even though I thought I'd never learn about this stuff (I always told stuff at the dinner table), appearantly you taught me more than I realized!;.

Yeah, that was a very proud brother moment =).

If you think you know the most idiot person in the world, you haven't met my brother.

His brain absolutely can't comprehend anything!

He forgot his Roblox password and told me to do something. I said I can't do anything about it. Then he yelled at the top of his lungs saying, "you don't know technology! You're too stupid and selfish. Fix it!"

I said I can't do anything about it. He throws the mouse at me and says, "I never get to have fun. You ruin my life!"

He's not a little kid btw. He's fucking 14.

Today my mom forgot to pay the wifi password, and she thinks its better not to pay it today so it can stop my brother from playing games. (He plays it from morning to night. No homework, no cleaning, no nothing. Just games all day.)

So he told me to fix it. I said I cant. There's nothing I can do. Then he punches my arm really hard. (He's taller and stronger than me so it really hurt) then he threw a shoe and said, "you're useless and stupid! You have your laptop so you can have fun but I never get to have fun. You ruin my life, and I hate you. I hate my life."

Then he ran to mess up my room by tossing things from the self, removing clothes from my closet, and messed up my bed. He pushed my sister, pulled my hair, and ran to his room, slamming the door.

Please. Please someone give him a brain! He desperately needs one. I said I can't fix it, and that my mom has to pay the WiFi bill, but he thinks I'm being mean.

He has the mind of a 5 year old. Dropping to the ground crying.

Brother: Make me an Android application for my restaurant.
Me: But I have an exam tomorrow
B: So what, it will just take two hours
Me : -_-

Dude: Come on man, Google and/or Facebook are not actively listening to us, I mean, we're not terrorists.
Me: Ok, Google
Google Asistant: How can I help you?
Dude: ._.

My little brother (still in school , learning security and pen testing): i found a bug in a website , it returns an xml file instead of the web page , i reported it to them and i think i'm gonna get rewarded like 2k $ for it .
Me : cool ! Show me .
Him : shows me his phone ...
Me : wait , gotta rant this .

~yesterday at a coffee shop~

Brother *bragging* about new workstation: "he" has 512gb of ram.

His friend: imagine how many chrome tabs you can keep open at once!

Me: almost one.

So I picked up my little brother (6th grade) from school.

Him: We had computer hour
Me: Cool what did you do?
Him: We programmed a game
Me: That's cool. In what language did you program?
Him: English

I burst out in laughter because I didn't expect that answer.

I know I should have asked the question better.

After that I found out that they used scratch.

When I still studied, quite some people found me paranoid.

One of my friends started whispering 'NSA is watching' whenever he walked by me and after a while, whenever any of my friends were near me AND near a camera or whatsoever, they all whispered that same phrase.

Then I thought fuck it and just joined with whispering that. So throughout the whole day everyone would whisper that around me and I just participated 😆

Amen Brother ✊️

My brother just started learning web development. Day 1 of playing on his own domain, and he breaks his WP install twice in an hour. He sends me the following text:

This is like a horribly frustrating game.

Best summary of software development I've ever heard, and it's only his first day.

PC stopped working, I found someone who lives in my room , he's is saying that I'm his brother.

Why u do dis brother

Sister broke up with her bf (sad) and he gave her a fidget cube as a present a little back. She wanted to get rid of memories so guess who now has his first fidget cube, yes! her brother! Meeeeeee 🙌😃

!rant
My cousin on 12 was watching me edit my site and asked if he can do it too.

Two hours later he comes running to me with a twinkle in his eye to show of his creation. He made a simple html site with buttons and checkboxes and what not.

Now he is learning JS and getting frustrated because it is not adding HTML snippets dynamically...

I am a proud brother :]

It was fun to watch my entire high school (~1200 people) freak out when I ran "net send * Big brother is watching you..." on what I found to be an insecure computer in my high school's library. Every single computer in the building displayed the pop up message. The town's IT director even showed up to figure out what happened.

I was caught, but they were more happy it wasn't a hacker, and that I discovered that the IT firm the town hired totally botched properly implementing network security, so I was let off the hook.

When my brother told me he was using a breadboard i tought he wanted to be a baker. Guess he ain't baking no bread, only circuits.

So my brother had a school project for which he got an 9. I looked at this code and saw this comment. I laughed so hard. 😂

I don't know what the hell this is, but my idiotic brother downloaded it.

I uninstalled it, but if it's malware, I'll be pissed off.

He literally just came up to me, and said that he clicked a link on YouTube to download something. He even said, "It's an invisible app."

He says it's invisible, because you can't find it unless you check the apps setting.

My brother (14, at that time 12) is in puberty and just doesn't get off his computer to learn or do anything useful. He actually got bad grades because of this.

I made an app for my mom as well as a "virus" for my brother's computer that she could use to start and stop my brother's mouse wobble around randomly. Whenever he should be learning, my mother would press a button and he couldn't do anything anymore.

He eventually found out how to start YouTube videos using only his keyboard, so the next update came with a feature that simulated a random keypress instead of the one my brother was actually intending to type whenever he pressed a key.

The fun thing was, that he never found out why that was happening and just assumed his computer was broken.

brother in law spills Sprite allover his laptop and it dies, guess who he calls.

My brother is 5 years old. And I'm triggered every time I see him holding a mouse:

!rant

While(drunk){
Love everyone || hate everyone
}

When you have a 7Mbps ADSL and your brother keeps loading Tv series:
- 192.168.1.1
- QoS
- YOUR_MAC_ADDRESS priority=MAX
- HIS_MAC_ADDRESS priority=MIN

Well, now begin to complain that the connection is slow.

Brother of my friend came to me and asked me to teach him C as it was most important lesson in high school CS. I agreed and started with data types, conditional statements, loops and others that were mostly exam oriented. He was doing good. Then I thought of teaching him a life lesson and introduced him to pointers(questions about pointers are very rare in exams). As soon as I started the pointers, things got pretty bored and he went off topic and started talking about a girl he has crush on and told he wanted to know when her birthday was so that he could gift her something to be ahead of the crowd trying to impress her. I thought to help him out, afterall he's like my younger brother and told him I can help. Result of his previous exam were out then, providing symbol number on Examination Board's website would do the trick because it would return full data of students result which had birthday in it. I modified my previous script to fetch data of his school's result and pass the data to a file. They're together since last few months. He reminds me time to time that my code is what got them together.

HOLY SHIT GUYS MY 2 YEAR OLD BROTHER FOUND THIS SOMEWHERE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD THIS OMG

!dev !rant

Just scared the shit out of my little brother with a bluetooth keyboard. Now he'll never ask for my phone again.

That's my setup. Awesome fact: this desk was build by my dad at least 15 years ago, he made one for me and another for my brother, it probably will still be around if I ever get kids :)

My young brother just destroyed everyone at a speedcubing competition!

4x4, 3x3 one handed, 3x3 regular (the main event), skewb, pyraminix — all 1st places!

Friends brother: So what do you do for work?

Me: I am a DevOps engineer

FB: *blank stare* 😐

Me:I work with computers and fix servers.

FB: Awsome. Well my laptop been acting up lately. Can you..?

Me: NO

Credits: nixcraft

Some time ago I learned that my brother was taking a MATLAB class at University. I thought to myself​ "hey, why not try teaching him another language, like C#".

He learnt that shit faster than anyone I've ever tutored! Even the 3rd years at University had more problems than he did.

So fucking proud.

My brother singed up for a browser game.... They sent him his log data (including password) via email

How people see me:

Father: computer nerd (he's a coder too)
Mother: website maker and computer nerd
Brother#1: some computer wizard
Brother#2: noob web coder (he codes as well, but systems programming) - thanks bro!
Colleagues: The ALIEN™
Girlfriend: 404 not found
Friends: The NERD™
Dog: some hooman spending lots of time behind those lighty rectangles

Fyi, I am passionate about computers in all domains and always helped debugging people

My solution to not being overwhelmed with futile demands? Talking to them in complicated words, so they will only ask questions about true problems and not garbage :D

My brother destroyed his laptop in rage, my father destroyed his pc in an accident..

I created an aesthetic one, just to prove my family how destruction and creation go in parallel.

I create for creation's sake... Rant of my life.

Taking steps in teaching my brother some basic concepts of web development!😄

The Adventures of my Project Manager.
--- Part 1

a little back story first:
-----------------------------
The project manager is the CEO's younger brother.
-----------------------
end of back story.

PM: Hey, we should stop using Nodejs on our API.
ME: Why?
PM: I don't see why it is necessary when we could make our android app talk directly with MongoDB.
.................
ME: QUE?!

When someone gets you:

Got a job as a controls engineer. Told my parents.

Parents: Good Job!
Brother: Bro! How you make so much money?
Me: I went to a tech school and learned how to do technical stuff.
Brother: Oh... fuck that shit!

Everyone was really supportive. Been slowly gravitating from controls to more pure software. But a lot of the software I write is for controls and automation of machines.

Last week my brother was visiting. I did some advanced partition management for his girlfriend (preparing a hard drive for backups) and used a Linux live system with gParted for that.

That's when he said "I guess it's time, that I get into Linux - what do I need to get started?".

\o/

When I was 10 my younger brother saved over my fully completed pokedex in Pokemon blue.

First big data loss taught me a good life lesson. Now I backup everything on a local server.

Drop brother off at a new years party, where he will be until sunrise partying with friends.
Me: Have fun!
Me: *drives back home, grabs laptop and opens up IntelliJ*
Me: Let the finger dance begin!

Have I mentioned I hate parties?

My brother: “There’s no way you can remove games from my computer!”
Me: “Oh really?”
Bro: “Yes! I got password on Windows!”

He didn’t knew I had remote control setup on my PC... So I hid games on his PC

My 8 year old brother started attending a robotics class a few days ago. He already loves it. I'm a proud big sister 😊
(And I'm already planning on how to start teaching him programming.)

!dev

Me *downloading some weird linux distro to test in VirtualBox - I only do this once a month for like 1 hour*
my brother: Oh my god! Are you downloading something again? Moooom he is downloading something non-stop

every day:
my brother *watching some series/YouTube videos/playing ping-sensitive multiplayer games - all the fucking time, everything he does all day is this + eating and sleeping*
me *retrying multiple times to load anything, including devRant* 😒😠

Job listing: "We work with the VBA language which is an addition to the classic Visual Basic language..."

No. VBA is not an addition to VB. It's his retarded brother

When I asked my brother why he doesn't want me to teach him programming, his answer was: "Because writing code is dry and boring, like math."

Ok then.

A real conversation I just had:

Brother: Have you heard of a game called Super Hot?
Me: Everyone has heard of that game.
Brother: Can you play it?
Me: I don't have the PC to run it.
Brother: I played it on my friend's Xbox.
Me: I don't have an Xbox.

*Pause for effect*

Brother: Can you build one?
(He's not stupid. He just likes to say things that will annoy me. We live in the same household, he would know if I have a PC or an Xbox.)

My dad's a silicone guy, my little brother is a java-dev, my mom works for the NHS.

I'm a web and mobile dev.

So... My dad and little bro think I do WordPress and my mom thinks she should earn more than me.

In her defence I'm an NHS patient and I also think her and anyone else in the health industry should earn more than me.

So this happened about a year ago. I was going bowling with some friends that day. My brother was invited, but he needed to finish a couple of programs for a MATLAB class.

So I drive my friends to the bowling place, then head to where my bro is saying. Once there my brother starts going over the program, he tells me what it's supposed to do and such. I follow along and I'm thinking "yup, this makes sense". That's when he tells me "The logic is fine, but look at what happens when I run it".

The program works fine...

We just stare at the screen, then at each other. "Your welcome" I tell him with a grin.

Had a meeting with my client who brought with him his brother and an SEO guy. They orgy fingered my Thinkpad screen. Behold the aftermath

Just finished explaining to my 13 year old brother that the monitor wasn't the computer... 😧
This is what happens when you get married and leave the house. Your family become technologically illiterate 😔

My brother, as a 23 year old trying to apply for mechanical engineering jobs, came across this posting!

That's why they say, start young, kids :P

Was talking to my brother the other day. When I see an icon in his desktop.

JetBrains PyCharm :')

1. That my code would compile.

2. See #1.

3. See #1.

The girl I'm talking to said her brother was giving her one of those talks about how all boys are gross and want sex. I told her that the one thing I want is for my code to fucking compile

Linux evangelism is real.

Credit to Reddit and my brother for waking me up at 3am to show me this.

... I'm so done... Our dog died last night, in the arms of my father... And the worst is, my little brother has seen everything and even tried a CPR on him... It's destroying me. Why is life so cruel? R. I. P. Buddy, we'll miss you 😢

A christmas present by my brother
As you can see the process is still running.

Big Brother is listening🤔

My younger brother let my HDD fall down to test how hard it is.
-But you said HDD stands for Hard Drive... right ?

~ 10yrs ago, Dad: I'm a dev, your mom's a dev. I paid for you to go-to business school... But you still became a dev. And your brother also wants to be a dev

Now after me and bro moved back with then bc of COVID. The house is basically WeWork on weekdays.

Good thing we're all devs so can with remotely.

So we got our first household Alexa yesterday and my brothers have been asking it silly things, like:

Brother: Alexa sing baby shark:
Alexa: <sings baby shark>

B: Alexa sing mummy shark
A: <sings mummy shark>

B: Alexa sing daddy shark
A: <sings daddy shark>

B: Alexa sing grandma shark
A: "I think that's enough, even I have my limits"

Fucking Brilliant!!!

My little brother started learning coding AND design ar 12 years old and my only influence on this was telling him about it like two times.
Although he is, also, building a gun of wood so I really don't know what path he's taking there.

Brother gave me a little present! I'm suuuper happy and cannot wait to dive in!

My brother is just like f*cked up program:

Fortnite > Movies > TV Series > Fortnite > Movies > TV Series > F...

Yes, infinite loop and memory leak at its' best.

Java and his brother..

My brotherbig brother thoght me how to program at 6. He went to a programming course in Basic. We had an Atari at home.
Almost 30 years later we still do cool shit together.

My brother told me a mail just arrived from "America". He said is from "dev something".

I think I know what that is 😍

So we were out celebrating the 18th Birthday of a friend and the conversation drifted to mobile phones and some people were seriously asking why someone who can afford it doesn't choose an iPhone and why her brother chose the Google Pixel over the iPhone because apparently iPhones seem to be the best phones for these IT people

My little brother just asked me in church if devRant is French for the Bible..

Ehmm no

I come home pretty tired after a long day of classes and work. I call my family. So this is how it goes:
7-year-old-brother: I want to make a programmable robot. How do you do that?
Me: Who told you about programming?!

Today is good, so far.

Husband graduates and promotes and my younger brother made it to Texas safely this morning.

Oh, and I'm out of the office 😄

!rant

Went to see my brother today. Before I could say hi, I saw the following:

- Desktop, Windows playing video
- Thinkpad, Linux mint, Arduino IDE
- Arduino board with some sensors
- Coffee
- Complaining about light theme

I've only thought him a bit of C# and SQL. They grow up so fast :')

(Before today, I only knew he was gonna learn Python)

I had an interview scheduled over skype a few days back. NO ONE FREAKING TURNED UP TO TAKE IT!!!!!
No mail from HR regarding reschedule/cancellation even till date..
I seriously wanna ask their management "WHAT KIND OF COMPANY ARE YOU RUNNING BROTHER ??!!"

This is my brother asking me if I'm there yet...
P.s. i have used Ubuntu in the past as my primary OS for a project.

Oh my fucking god. It's 1:30 PM and I literally cannot sleep right now. It's like I lost the ability to close my eyes and go to sleep.

What could be the cause of this?

*Flashbacks to earlier today*
Brother: Hey, want a piece of this FUCKING HUGE Toblerone bar?
Me: Sure why not

But seriously, I need sleep

Had a fight yesterday with my brother about which is worse Windows or Linux. Couldn't win because he's ignorant about the advantages of Linux. Still waiting for the day to come when he gets screwed and has to use Linux! (Gif for visual representation!)

All crypt!
Blamed my brother giving me computer blue waffles over the just plugged drive and it'd be crypting all files.

Turned out I lose SATA of my primary drive.
Cussing 1/2h for a sincere excuse.

Thx 4 being the brother you are, brother.

!dev

Day 8 in isolation.
Im lonely..
My brother calls me.
I haven’t talked to my brother in a long time.
He believes that capitalism is the answer to everything.
It sucks to be lonely in my tiny little apartment so I actually Skyped with him today.

After a 3h call I remember why I don’t usually talk to him.

What he’s saying is:
Democracy only works if the vote of rich people is worth more.
The happiness of your people is defined by the amount of money your country has.
Thanks to Corona, the EU, Russia, Afrika and China are gonna be slums. They’ll be poor and without money.
The US is the only country that’s gonna be fine and it’s gonna be the most important country in the world.
Putin didn’t do anything illegal, he stays president because the people vote for him.

FFS, I tried to tell him my opinion on each single one of those statements, he ignored me and kept telling me how it’s the rich people that keep the clock ticking.

Today the last Facebook Inc application is gone off my phone as I uninstalled Whatsapp finally. But the problem is, many of my customers use Whatsapp for quick comms, what do I do for this? Any suggestions? (I use Telegram but it's not much used around)

I often get this question:
"I have this old computer. Can you fix it?"

My brother is a helicopter pilot, and he will probably never get this question:
"I have this old helicopter, that is literally falling apart. Will you fly it for me?"

!dev

TLDR; younger brother is an unreliable fuck. Learning to be a pathetic trickster. Penny teller cheap ass jester.

Hello folks. Time for a little family story.

This started around mid June.
I was a little tight on money the past few months. I had a broken laptop, that my brother wanted to buy. So I told him that he can have it for 100 bucks. It was a 1k gaming laptop 2 years ago, (i7, gtx 960m, 16gb ddr4). But I didn't know how much it would cost to repair. So I was happy with the price and so was him.

He told me he would pay by the end of June.

Hi didn't pay. He repaired the laptop for free by asking his boss, that used to be my friend (I'll probably tell you guys about that in another rant, best friend, got in a fight, stopped talking, next day my brother asked him for a job).

A month later, mid July, I told him I needed the money.

He literally said:

"I don't care for what you need. I'll pay you when I think it is a relevant expense, now I have money only for buying tools and investing in my career".

He was buying 15 usd pens (not only 1), because he wants to have expensive crap.

That was a bit disgusting, but not shocking. (I'm used to his little brat attitude, he's 26 btw).

I thought to myself. Ok, you want to be a bitch?. Then pay more.

I told him that he appreciated a good that wasn't his and that he should either pay now or agree to a new price. He didn't like that idea, but eventually we agreed to make it 300usd.

And one of the clauses was.

"I shouldn't ask him to pay." 🙄

He would pay when he could. (entitled brat attitude again). Ok. Fine.

It's been a month from that. He teased that he would pay 3 weeks ago. And he didn't. I asked him how was the "not asking for payment clause", because he did the teasing and I wanted to know if that kind of shitty mind games was part of the deal.

So that's the background story for the laptop.

Now time for a dinner story.

We share dinner once or twice a week. And when any one is short in money we keep a tally on who's been paying.

When I have money I just let the tally go in my favor, an buy him dinner whenever he says his short on money.

Note: Here, fries and soda are not part of the price, so the one that is short on money pays the fries and soda.

Today it was not one of those days. (Dinner here is about 15 USD for 2, with fries, and soda, nothing fancy, nor healthy, but an exuse to hang out with my only brother that would not eat a salad even if it was free).

I owed him 10 bucks, and he owed me 1 dinner. I asked him if he's buying dinner today. He said that the tally is even because last meal I didn't pay the chips. 🧐. (That was settled because I didn't pay once, but made up for it later)

Again with his entitled ass shitty attitude.

I just said. I don't want to hear your excuses. Here's your money. I want my laptop tomorrow, I'll sell first thing Monday. And tell me how much did you spend on repairs and parts and I'll pay you.

And now I'm sad. 🙃

Mainly, because is just so fucking boring to deal with a person that counts every penny. I fed him for 10 year while he was having problems, (alcohol and depression), And now he comes with this shitty ass counting pennies attitude, wtf?

I literally felt poorer just by counting the cents that made part of this story. (Really, who the fucks keeps track of chips and soda??? What are we 15yo??)))

It's one thing to be trapped in a 3rd world country where everyone is trying to fuck you. You learn to deal with that shit. And it's ok.

But seeing that your little brother is learning the same cheap trickery is just sad. The same cheap approach to life. The same easy and pathetic mind games is just fucking sad.

I don't even mind the money anymore. I was short on cash 2 months ago, I'm gladly better now. But finding out that he's becoming a little scammer is a bummer.

I just needed to vent. I think I should stop enabling him. And maybe keep some distance, it is fucking depressing to be counting cents to settle an argument. By dealing with that fucktard I end up counting cents just to figure out who's right.

In a marriage party.
Guy1: let's have the diner fast and run away. Have to deploy a very important update.
Guy2: brother, it's your marriage party.

Building a web based recipe book for my mother in law.
My brother in law, sorced the hw (touch screen aio)
I build the website build in php symfony3.
Running on a rpi in the garage.
She loves it and keeps telling everyone about it every chance she gets.
Currently re writing it in Django (for fun)

The worst one was my mother calling me to say "The ambulance is here so they are taking me to ER, I might have a stroke. Call you...".

And then silence... I called my brother who was as freaked out as me. As it was like a couple of months after my father died...

And she forgot her mother fucking smartphone!!!! The next fucking morning the hospital called us!!! Worst time ever!!!!

There's this WebDesigner who wants every single website made pixel-perfect to his design.

We usually spend like 1 extra month on each website just because we can't do it pixel-perfect for each resolution

Now I'm working on yet another of his websites and his brother is beside me as a stagist

Am I allowed to insult the designer and swear against him every 5 minutes or so?

Who invented the open space office layout? If you're as unlucky as me, you end up sitting next to the protein junkie who pops open a tin of tuna mixed with some other shit that's there just because it smells horrible almost hourly, or you end up next to the PM whose desk is gossip central and by the end of the day you know "Sheila" is sleeping with her brother in law, and "Steve" has a tiny weiner.

My little sister is running for Miss St. Patrick's Day in my home town. You vote via a link everyday. It looks like it is done via Angular and jQuery.. I happened to found the API that does the voting via their source code...

As a big brother I want so bad to add a few extra votes... but that's wrong... right?

I'm so conflicted! My brother just opened VS Code and tried evangelizing me on the benefits of using a light theme! Should I disown him? Secretly sabotage his development environment? This is very distressing. Suggestions? Lol

Today, my dad can finally ditch his iPhone 4 which is passed down from my eldest sis to my mom and to my dad, all thanks to my brother-in-law getting a Samsung Galaxy J7 on Black Friday.

Finally. No more Apple bullshit in my house!! NO FUCKING MORE!!! *insert hysterical laughter* GOODBYE STUPID 20-PIN CHARGER CABLE~ GOODBYE ITUNES~ GOODBYE ICLOUD~ FUCK YOU!!!

My brother gave me this for my birthday. He made it himself!

Pretty cool gift 😁

Riddle time, it took my brother a whole day to figure it out.... Can you solve this?

I've been teaching my brother basic front-end development stuff. He's good. Seeing this, I decided to put him into a real project. So I got one, a simple front-end project. But the project managers are assholes and requesting stupid things. Thus, my brother didn't complete it before deadline. I don't know what to do now. I can't help my brother because I don't have enough time. I am very furious as I want to leave the project and fuck the manager over. What should I do?

Ironically, my younger brother (14 years old) is far worse in tech than my mom. Whenever I explain something to my mom, I have to tell her once and she gets it. But if it's my brother? Oh boy, sometimes you got to tell him quadruple times and he still won't get it...

This isn't as much of a rant as the story of my worst abuse of computer knowledge.

This happened a couple years ago. When I was in high school, I had this friend/enemy relationship with this guy, lets call him Thomas. He loved to pull pranks on people. He had a similar firend/enemy relationship with my brother, and after one prank, my brother decided to get revenge. And by revenge, he meant asking me to make a virus.

I knew the guy, and I agreed. We thought about what type of virus we could make that would be funny, and not too damaging. We decided on a program that would play annoying sound effects every few minutes. Short enough to be noticable, long enough that Thomas would give up and not try to investigate.

I won't bore you with the details of the program. It was a very simple C app, very small, named "Counter-Strike-Global-Offence-Free-Download-Totally-Legit.exe". It was clearly visible in task manager, but since it was so small and barely used CPU or RAM it would stay near the bottom. I tried loading a custom sound effect, but it turned out the windows default "invalid sound effect" was much more annoying than any custom sound I could find.

The "Infecting" portion consisted of moving the .exe to the start menu startup folder while Thomas left his laptop unattended. My brother handled this part.

I unfortunaly left the country soon after and never actually saw the effect the program had on Thomas. I assumed my brothers laughing would give it away rather fast and he could simply remove it from his startup folder. However, my brother told me he still complained about it for months, before finally bringing the laptop to a repair center that found the totally legit CS:GO exe. My brother ended up telling him soon after, but this was still the best prank I ever pulled.

When I was little my brother and I got a ZX Spectrum 128k (James Bond edition) for Christmas. I started writing the programs to show a clock, union jack and other bits and bobs from one of these books. After probably 20ish years of not writing any code I went to university and graduated last year. I now work as helpdesk/software developer. But the ZX Spectrum programming started it all!

I grew up with a hacker for a brother, always tampering with shit and my dad was always taking computers apart and repairing them. Although I was too little to be of any help, I was dumbfounded and couldn’t get enough. To be cool, I took all my toys apart to see what made them work. My brother taught me the dark side of a computer and my father the light side. I could go on and on, but meh.

So VS Code, you're using ~60% of my CPU and I've let you do that for around 1/2 hour now. Why do you do this? I know your brother can do this as well, but he does have some valid reasons unlike yourself. You're just a glorified notepad with some extensions.

My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.

She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.

She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.

That moment when you realize you're using a Hackintosh with VirtualBox and a CF card to install a Beta version of MS-DOS with DOS SHELL that your brother found on an old BBS forum; on an IBM 5150 from 1981.

>trying to convince your 10-year-old brother that minecraft will run faster if he installs linux

Learned over Xmas, my brother-in-law works at a company with NO CENTRALIZED VERSION CONTROL. They just... pass around zip files of the latest code? Or something? Like jfc, even as a student we at least used TortoiseSVN!

I was ok with their marriage last summer, but now I feel that my sister deserves better. Can't imagine a company like that attracts the best and brightest. Here's hoping he actually exceeds the expectations, and leads the company into a glorious, gitty future.

My brother had been using my PC for watching movies and play games and I wanted to work, so I installed archlinux without any DE or WM, now if he tries to use it he might learn thing or too or leave my PC alone!!!!

Little brother: "Since you're an SE I have a really important question that requires your skills.
Me: Okay what's up? (getting excited for potential project)
Little brother: Can you hack my ex girlfriends Facebook?
Me: *face palm*

When my brother doesn't know weather it's greater than or lesser than....still manages to get marks

My mom’s not too great with tech

she’s the kind of person who thinks I’m hacking when I use a terminal

My brother is teaching her to play among us, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen

Fuck I hate bloated app permissions but I guess todo lists that know who you most likely to chat to when taking a dump is what we get for demanding everything for free. I get why Snapchat wants so much, I just find it fucking ironic that this is from a company that founded itself on the concept of privacy 🤦‍♂️

My 13yo brother will now receive an upgrade from an old hdd to a fast ssd, ram upgrade and most importantly Linux.

Teach’em young and teach’em right

Got home and my wife, brother in-law and sister in-law were all playing Pokémon Go :)

My brother, who is a programmer too, throwed the big java book at me and said: Read this and you'll have a job. So I read it and got a job. I'm a practical learner, so I just picked up the basics from the book. OOP and all that I learned while working. It was like a decently payed apprentice position. But I was my own teacher.

I usually convince myself like "no corporate/government has enough computational resources to classify useful information from enormous pile of worthless junk they could blindly collect from tracking every single step of all their users."

But every time I see this, it's like I hear them saying "Why we should bother? You just handpick the important ones. Thank you."

My 13yo brother started learning Haskell and latex on his own. When I was 13yo I learned C. I really want to see how his career path will go compared to mine

You dont allow backup codes on Indian mobile numbers? What the hell github? Sundar Pichai what you doing brother??

I'm really glad my parent knew the importance of computers. They bought my brother a PC in 2000 and we got the chance to learn a great deal of things. I remember those times with a grin on my face. Probably the happiest years of my life. :)

I've been working my ass off making websites finally made money and my brother goes and spends it all on more computers 😔

Help!!!

Motherfucking, 13 year old brother, manages to brick Mac with downgrade. He says he did it because the current version "was bad."

😧

I could use some help with this. The thing boots up. But it's stuck on a screen where it can't figure out which version to use.

Going to see my Minecraft-addicted little brother tomorrow, wish me luck 😌

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why. I had to draw my own conclusions.

Dad: “Cool! Now you can sit around like you always do!” 😑

Mom: “So you are programming the computer? Can you show me how to do x on my computer/iPhone?” Except it’s the same questions every single time... She never learns...

Brother: Talks to me about jailbreak stuff

And of course, they all ask me how to fix things on different electronics.

I'm regretting actually going to social events with my family. It goes exactly as I expect it:

Brother is talking to his friends, mother talking to my brother's friend's mom. And I'm awkwardly sitting aside on devRant...

Me, programmer(not employed yet): you know what is crazy about coding test? I can easily do manually what test said, but teaching it to computer is surprisingly hard.

My brother, teacher(not graduated yet): I can easily solve middle school problems too, but teaching to kids is hard part. It seems like we do similar thing.

So last week, I built my first pc together with my brother. Look at the pretty lights!

Very off topic but I had to vent somewhere.
My brother is a dick to everyone (except to people who can give him promotions) and especially to the family.
He bragged about being aggressive in his workplace for years to his peers and to people 'under' him.
Now he insulted the wrong person and got fired.
Is it bad that this made me happy, seeing justice served to him?

My brother has asked me to download an ISO of Vista for him. Yes.. my brother still uses Vista.

Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...

Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.

My younger brother is a speedcuber and I got this for my birthday.

The albino cube.

Useless, like myself.
Beautiful, like myself.

And btw it’s no shabby dollar-store piece of crap, it’s a real magnetic competition-grade cube.

We're in the future, we don't need to say 'thank you' by ourselves anymore. Thanks Big Brother.

That moment when your GF gets a Jarvis Johnson video in her YouTube feed...

Trying to teach my brother basic python and JavaScript but that little shit insists on using scratch instead! 😒

This is a joke. This isn't even wifi in my room 4 rooms across from the router. This is LAN. 1und1 at their finest. (No bad weather, no sister uploading photos or brother downloading.. you know)

The thing is, we are switching to QuiX. And the ****ers from 1&1 want to keep us as their customers for another 13,5 months! Is this even legal?! WTF

Big brother is watching...

devRant community!! My little brother brought me my rubber duck!! (it's not reeaaally a duck.. it's more like a watermelon, and it's name is "senor Sandia"!)
I've lost it a couple of months ago.. but NOW I CAN BECOME AN AWSOME CODER AGAIN!! (or just keep trying.. xD)
sorry, but I had to share it with you!

My little brother thought he'd have knife throwing practice into a tv box in my room. Just next to the box was my macbook. Long story short, it now has a hole punched into the screen.

Thanks so much for the cool stickers. Why do I have 2 of each though :'). Maybe for my brother who is also on devrant.

When you move so less Samsung thinks your way to the station was a workout.

*Credit to my brother

Mom and Dad were proud, when I said I will develop Apps.They helped me to found my own company and arranged some new clients.

My brother is happy with it and is taking CS courses at school.
I've never met people who treated me as a nerd or did not accept my choice

Teacher

I love teaching but I hated school so the thought of going back...

Still teach people stuff when I get the chance. Taught my brother to drive, teaching a friend to drive, bridge knowledge gaps with colleagues, volunteer with the children's programs at my church

Today on GitHub: this must be the new "autopilot", probably slackbot's brother, suggesting me slightly funny arbitrary repository names.

"Great repository names are short and memorable. Need inspiration? How about shiny-fiesta?"

My dad let me use how computer and have me a VB6 book when I was like 5.

I took it from there though it seems it tube in the family.

Dad's a Dev
I'm a Dev
My younger brother is also a Dev
My mom is QA, though used to be maintenance dev I think

For my father, I do wizardry, for my mother I do magic, for my brother I type weird stuff, for my gf I code useless stuff, for my grandparents I do nothing, for my non dev friends I make softwares, for my dev friends... Magic again

- get better at nodejs(and a bad ass front-end dev)
- rewrite the sass to bem for my club website
- put the website for my brother and sister online
- build a new 2018 portfolio website for myself
- finish my dashboard to run on a pi
- get a permanent position

I have a dev job and I earn good. More than enough at this age when I'm single.

My brother lost his business and has been sitting idle for more than 3 months now. Family gets cash but brother has nothing to do. He's into business and I don't even know what's going on in his life. I can help him with money and all but no idea how to ask, I'm younger and it will require a lot amount of guts for me to him, even when I ask I don't think he will tell me straight.

I carry a mac M2.

My brother has a similar bag to mine.

He put his bag in place where I used to put mine.

I went and opened bag.

There was NO Mac M2.

My heart nearly skipped a beat.

A year ago I bought an iPhone 7. 3 months later I exchanged it with my brother for a OnePlus 3T.

Now my brother wants it back. 😭

My grandad visited and he and my dad built a computer. 100MHz, 133 if you pushed the turbo button, 4x cd rom drive, Windows 3.1. My brother and I fought over it nearly every day.

i had a 2-day, sat & sun, coding contest on codingame, but after coding for 24h my mother called me and said that her brother (and my uncle) died from alcoholic addiction
i did not commit my solution on that contest and now, for already five years, i'm afraid of participating in any similar contests

My grandmother recently died and me and my brother were wondering what was to happen to her 10+ year PC (Dell optiplex 760). I could find a use for the monitor and my brother wanted to use it as a server. We asked around at the family and everyone seemed ok with that except for one guy..

Apparently the PC is still in "prime condition" running Windows 7 after an upgrade from Vista. It has 'a graphics chip or something like that' and is better than any laptop on the market right now. (I actually had my HP zBook 15 g3 with me). He claimed it wasn't some old worthless piece of junk and most family members would probably be interested in this machine.

I didn't try to argue because I realized he was not at all knowledgeable about technology and I didn't want to be disrespectful.

I wanted a personal website when I was 15. My brother-in-law sat me down, showed me Dreamweaver and told me "Learn this stuff. It will be valuable when you're older." I dragged and dropped and then looked at the resulting code. Then came sites for friends. Finally, college. I still learn new stuff all the time with each project. I couldn't be happier!

Big Brother is watching me through my loan

I'm a C++ dev, but last month I was working in the vegetable fields to help my young brother and his business. And right now I'm going to sleep outdoor after my birthday party looking at the stars.
Free spirit is a good point dealing with free languages like C++ you know :D
Sweet dreams btw :p

Me: Do you already have a live USB stick for Windows?
Brother: You mean a dead USB stick, because Windows hasnt got that feature?!

!Dev

So Malaysian government decided to say this in the press conference on Covid19 increased cases and quote "I didn't failed, is just I didn't get it to work."

And now my friend's brother who failed the exam try to convince his parent , by telling them "I didn't failed the exam , is just I didn't pass the exam ."

I genuinely think that Malaysian government is copying Joel Osteen.

I wanted to get Linux since I'm collaborating with my brother and he uses it, so it will be easier to help him. Wasn't working. Emailed Razer customer support. Apparently my $2,150 laptop doesn't support Linux.

TFW you hear noise from the kitchen at 2AM, you go to check it out and it is your brother opening a can of SPAM, getting the content out of the can, chopping an onion (crying while doing so) and then just holding back laughter all the way back to our room.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Younger brother wanted to know how to work with users in Windows using cmd. I showed him a few things, told him PS is better but he can fiddle and just use net /? For the options he can use.

Go out for an hour. Come back and my user profile is gone. So the Padawan net user rangarr023 /del
My profile.

Time for some quickfix takeown commands haha.

Note to self. Let brother try things on his own pc, and next time use a vm.

Grew up with just my brother and mother in Russia. We had very little money so we haven't even seen computers in real life until my mother found a swedish boyfriend and we moved to Sweden the year 2000.

I was 7 years old at the time and I saw my first computer in what I think was the Swedish Migration Board office. The purpose of the computer was for convenient registration for the reception or something, but the first thing I did was found paint and drew some circles, I was completely mind blown!
My mother's boyfriend came and told me not to play with the computer because "I might accidentally install a virus".

A couple of months later we got a PC to share with the whole family, me and my brother were so ecstatic because we have previously only seen them on TV and now for some reason we have one at home "Woooot 😮😮😀"

The problem was that my mother only let me and my brother use the computer on weekends and only for one hour. Somehow this just made me and my brother even more interested in that machine, so we sneaked out from our room at night and played with it.
One night we found out about this great thing called Google and googled "how to program a program" and that's when we fell in love with programming.

When our mother found out she got very angry and disappointed. She was questioning why we were "so much in love with this stupid thing" and said "it's not like you are going to get a job working with it!"

Me and my brother are both devs now. So suck it 🖕🖕🖕

Dad was taking me and my brother to work and we were playing with his pc. Our game was MS PowerPoint :D. We were adding funny images/emoticons to a slide and laugh. Sometimes we were printing our masterpieces. Good old days ...

Watching IT crowd AGAIN after seeing a joke my brother didn't understand. Lol. (A fire? At a sea parks?)

telling your girlfriend's younger brother you've hacked his Minecraft account is evil but his reaction is priceless

Today we found out that my brother has a condition, triggered by a stressful event, that causes his heart to try and shutdown.

The dev in me is screaming "fix the bug!"
The crazy in me wants to start punching doctors in the face til we find a solution.

But the rational side of me knows there's nothing that I can do because that magical asshole in the sky didn't commented his code...

*At the Maker Faire in Milwaukee; I’m looking at a computer with a friend that his brother built*

Old Guy: This is pretty cool! You guys should start a YouTube channel. Look, you even have a pretty girl who can show it off!
Friend: *looks at me awkwardly* Or you can, you know, be a programmer too...

😑😑😑

My brother (not a dev) asked me for help for his A* algorithm he's trying to optimize.

I'm so proud

My best co-worker and teamplayer in games. Unlike like his stupid wireless brother, this buddy is cheap, super-efficient and literally a Genius with capital G.

!rant
Today my cousin is getting his first computer. I am just confused, either I should make him use linux or windows on it. Suggestions are appreciated.

I hate those mother fucking, Cock sucking, dick farting retarded faggots, who get the opportunity of a new job/internship just because they have a certain "relative" in the said company/organisation.
I mean its ok that you are getting an opportunity, but just don't act all-knowing-god-tier while you don't even know how to print a statement in c++ and got it.
How many more relationships should I increase of mine so that I get into the same position like them.
One of my friends got the internship just because his girlfriend's brother works for the firm.
Now that's just super barbaric unless he gave a blowjob to the gf's brother.
Their Fucking assholes need to be drilled by a giant pile drivers.

I first realised I wanted to be a developer, when my older brother told me about The Net (movie) with Sandra Bullock. He told me about the pi sign in the bottom right corner, and all I wanted to do was to make websites with secret sections that only I knew about.

Usual python code problems coming from someone who has been coding in Javascript and PHP (<--no pitchforks please). It's been months already but old habits still keep on coming back
- adding a semi-colon
- mixing spaces with tabs
- using a lowercase boolean
- adding an open brace when declaring a function
- forgetting the colon ( ;'s brother)

Every time I go home I have to switch all my passwords, because my little brother watches me type them and memorize them. Every damn time. I'm running out of passwords.

So i am dating this one girl that has been friends with me for as long as i can remember. We got the families to know what's happening and they are happy with one problem. Her brother.. He's fine and i spoke to him but he seems to have an issue only when im unable to help him like when he asks me if i have annold phone laying around, can help get him something ect. And i am actually getting a little pissed off because i know him but he seems to either be taking advantage or trying to gain something out of his sisters and my relationship or tries ti make me feel guilty for things i don't want to do. His sister doesn't know and i dont want to have her and her brother argue because of me. Why tf can't a person just be happy..

I just hate this life so damn much, 14 and depressed with possible anxiety and suicidal attempts is not easy. My parents are the worst. MY brother sucks. I wanna die.

I just had to quit a part time programming job because I couldn't do it. I'm not really sure how I feel, there were alot of factors.

I took an internship about a year back to do some embedded C. I kicked ass and developed a system that really solved alot of problems for the company and so people started giving me "the hard back shelf problems". Like those problems that are really valuable if someone can get it working but not so important that it blocks anything day to day. Totally fair work for an intern, that is both complex and interesting.

When school started I took a part time remote role working on one of these problems. Fast forward to now (few months of remote work at school); i can't handle the stress. If I devote more time to work I fail a test. If I ace a test my work duties go neglected. On top of that my boss misses scheduled calls with me left and right, I even reminded him everyday 3 days before hand once!!!

Naturally I started feeling like I should quit. I was no longer interested in the work from a pure academic view, and emotionally hated doing it. However, since I was a good performer this place offered to interview my little brother!! Fuck, so do I choose my happiness or my brothers. It feels evil to choose myself over my brother. My brother, he's just a freshman so I know his odds are very low of getting an internship this year are low. And the place I worked at had some weight in the name so I could seriously jump start my little bros career. I do know however that if I don't quit that I will fail school, and do it while being miserable.

And so I quite my first remote job, from my first internship. I feel happy about, but also like I let someone down (them?, Me?, BROTHER?).

Warning: silicon valley spoiler
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Am I the only one that doesn't comprehend why they didn't attempt to recover the shards of Anton's corpse? I mean there really isn't anything to lose and some parts may still be working. My brother and I could only conclude that it wouldn't be as dramatic as the straight up massacre by recklessness

That moment you write and test HTML code on your phone in a metro bus and a brother looks at you like you're from the future

I’m a software architect, and my lil brother (he is 19yrs) works fixing computers.

I forgot to pay the internet bill this month and they suspended my signal yesterday, then when try to access any website, we got a ISP page saying that the signal was suspended.

I paid the bill yesterday then they reactivated the signal this morning.

He woke me up saying that the WiFi was working but his computer still stuck on the ISP page.

I said that was cache of the browser and he still boring me saying that was not for the next 2 hours.

I took that computer from him and cleared the cache, and now is working.

My lil brother is a lil dumb.

Not from a teammate, but using Ionic to create a banking app, I was about to have a heart attack seeing my brother forced to use it :|

My brother wanted me to post:
Devrant is so secure, it even blocks passwords. Look here is mine ***************

I was curious to how many would fall for it. But I was afraid It could be seen as malicious intent

OMG... I want to thank my mother for changing my diapers for many years, my brother for all the games he no longer plays, my wife for actually making money, my plant for the awesome smell, God for maybe doing something (I guess), thanks @dfox, @trogus, and each one of you guys that deemed my rants worthy of your ++.

Best co-worker is my elder brother, he is electronics & communication engineer. Working on robotics project is too much fun. He handle the haredware i.e electronic circuits design in PCB where as programming work is left for me.

My little brother and his friends had a lan party the other day! It took me years but now he and all his friends are proper PC gamers. I hand built my little bros rig, feelsgoodman.

Side note, I think I've converted my siblings and cousins into techies by accident. I'm the oldest so they always asked what I was doing and I taught them what I knew. Now I'm the one learning stuff from them!

New here! Thanks to my brother @MrDhont

Father: knows nothing about programming but tells me how to do everything...mmm, ok.

Mother: a sponge for all my frustrations...prey for her.

Brother: thinks that I am Tony Stark.

Grandparents: ..well I spend my days with a typewriter and a television for them xD

So i was talking to my brother about our internet and he says "i'm glad we don't have issues with this router with it disconnecting or anything"

Couple hours later router is having issues after a restarting connecting to the internet.

Why'd ya got summon the boxing day jynx bro, why D: