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Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I repeat
Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I think we have a problem here.
*music intensifies*11 -
*On a programming support forum*
Guy: My compiler keeps throwing null pointer exception at line 128.
Me: Ok. Can you post your code real quick so I could figure out what is null at line 128?
Guy: No I'm not going to show my code to someone on the internet. What if you want to steal my code?
My mind: "Dude wtf why would I steal someone's code on a support forum?"
Me: *Use the next 15 minutes explaining that showing the code is necessary so that others can actually help him, and that no one on a support forum is going to steal his code.*
Guy: "You know what I'm more convinced that you want to copy my code. I might as well just try to fix this on my own."
What?14 -
Brother of my friend came to me and asked me to teach him C as it was most important lesson in high school CS. I agreed and started with data types, conditional statements, loops and others that were mostly exam oriented. He was doing good. Then I thought of teaching him a life lesson and introduced him to pointers(questions about pointers are very rare in exams). As soon as I started the pointers, things got pretty bored and he went off topic and started talking about a girl he has crush on and told he wanted to know when her birthday was so that he could gift her something to be ahead of the crowd trying to impress her. I thought to help him out, afterall he's like my younger brother and told him I can help. Result of his previous exam were out then, providing symbol number on Examination Board's website would do the trick because it would return full data of students result which had birthday in it. I modified my previous script to fetch data of his school's result and pass the data to a file. They're together since last few months. He reminds me time to time that my code is what got them together.8
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People who don't understand what I code or who don't even know what a freaking "code" is, telling me how to do my job!! Then my reaction will be like -
2 -
A while back, I ranted about emojis in code.
My nightmares are becoming reality.
Behold, production code:
34 -
Since I was little I was fascinated by club light shows I saw on TV shows. I just couldn't find out how they made light react to sound, which were two completely unrelated things to me back then. But I wasn't dumb and somehow figured out that if I hooked some low energy fairy lights to my amp and turned the bass up, they would lightup to the beat.
3 fried fairy lights and angry parents for to loud music later I swore to myself that I would someday build something that could light up my whole room and react to the music I was playing.
I started coding about the age 13 (turned 20 a month ago) with some old school bat scripts. But I wanted something that would generate a .exe so I googled and ended up installing Visual Studio Express (again angry parents for installing without asking) and started copying my first VB.Net program together. From there no one could stop me. I wanted to archive something with an application and googled until I found what I needed and learned to code this way.
I learned writing decent vb.net code and itvwas about this time I came into contact with IRC. I lurked arround there and this is were I came into contact with Linix servers, because I wanted to code IRC (eggdrop) bots, so I learned TCL and got used to Linux. Time passed and I ended uo being a Global OP on some network back then.
I did go further, coded Minecraft Mods, thus Java, changed back to C#, learned PHP and started setting things up on my VPS, Mails server, web server, etc.
Nowadays I work as a Systemadmin / Developer Hybrid, earning my first real money doing what I love to do and guess what? In the meantime I proved myself I can accomplish what I wanted as kid. I bought some Club LED DMX capital lights and programmed a controller for them which can control them in C#, but in a way I can run it on my raspi using mono. I also coded a client which runs on windows which uses some native libraries to calculate the dominant color of the shown picture in realtime (Handels 24fps 1080p) and uses the lights as ambient light, like you see them behind TVs sometimes.
The same app uses Bass.NET and an algorithm to dedect a beat in realtime and switches the light colors. Exactly what I wanted as akid, but better.
I can even control the lights via the new Google Assistant and/or Tasker.
Feels fcking good.
Some of my work lies on github among other, mostly trash: https://github.com/Kimmax - didn't updated there in a while tho.
I plan on writing a new free opensource plugin based modular home automatication server and pretty sure could use some helping hands..
I don't know why I wrote all this, just felt like it.
Also: first Rant
Please don't kill me for errors in the text, I'm to lazy to read through it again right now :P8 -
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
So far, this is my inspiration to refactoring the code right after it works as gift to my future self.8 -
Part 2 of my boss's stupidity
~FreezeFrame.mp4
*Wait! Wait! Wait! What!?*
*You actually reinstated my class?*
~anotherReverseRecordSound.mp3
-------------
Another late night and another set of pulls I needed to do in order to get caught up with the rest of the world.
I had just finished up dealing with a strange bug and had finally fixed it.
"I need to get caught up with my boss," I thought to myself.
I quickly git pull from my boss and a merge conflict occurs.
"Oh, ok that's fine." I say, "that's nothing too odd."
~FreezeFrame.mp4
"Wait! Wait! Wait! What!?" I shouted inside my head
I couldn't believe what I was seeing, there was a huge chunk of code that was being completely replaced.
"You're actually reinstating my class?" I nearly shouted.
"What!?" my girlfriend shouts from the other room.
"Come here a second, let me show you what it is," I shout back.
She rushes in real quickly, and I point at the code that was being changed.
"Remember that really long ass rant I made about how my boss had completely removed all of my code because he thought it was spaghetti?" I said
"Yeah?" she replied quickly, visually astounded by my excitement.
"He fucking put my class back into the code!!!"
"Wow!... I guess you beat him, huh?" she said.
"You better fucking believe it, but you want to know what's worse?"
She cocked her head sideways, "what?"
"He fucking built it worse than my original! The names don't properly reflect what he is trying do and he's doing a failure job at trying to copy what I had done in my original. He clearly doesn't know about git revert" I said between bouts of laughter.
"This is too good, I'm putting this on devRant!" I said
"I'm not in the least bit surprised that you would." She replied back.
Related Rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/1001888/...16 -
Code Review
My boss: “where’d you get this code”
Me: “You i copy and pasted from one of your projects like you told me to”
My boss: “oh”1 -
Not commenting my code because "it's so clear what I'm doing, how could I ever forget what my own lines of code do."5
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*PM looks at my code
*Deletes my constants, replaces with inline strings
*Changes order of conditions (that I tested)
*Hits save --> autoformats code into shitty looks
*Commits: "fix"9 -
Junior dev:Hey,see my code works :)
*After analysis of code*
Senior dev:Let's talk about complexity bro
Junior dev: shit :( -
Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.
Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.
The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.
Holy fuck this is terrifying.3 -
I wrote code yesterday, that functions the way it is supposed to.
I do not understand my code today.7 -
The worst part about having a job that is not related to programming is that I don't have as much time to code as I would like to :(5
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Sometimes dirty code is more efficient than clean code.
If features get dropped frequently and requirements change every few days, writing best-practices, tested code is wasted time. Learned that in my first job where I thought the other devs were all bad. Until I realized their bad code pays my salary, and my clean code takes more time to develop.6 -
My code!
Looking at the previous version of my code, pushes me to write a better one! All the time!1 -
What do you guys do on off time? More code? Gaming?
I mostly spend weekends with my girlfriend and away from code. Helps clear my head for the coming week.20 -
I always feel insecure when i push my code to github as public repo.
Like what if my code is so far from standard.
What if i showed a very stupid logic.
I am very insecure when pushing my code to public repos.12 -
Every time I look at some code and say "what the hell?!" the code refactors itself before my very eyes.2
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1. Read about software engineering/design patterns, tools etc.
2. Adopt information to my requirements
3. Write code
4. Delete my shitty code from point 3.
5. Goto point 34 -
When reading your old code, there are two feelings you may have:
1. I was such a dumbass back then
2. I was so thoughtful back then
If its #2, seek a position outside development, like product management, your coding career is probably over.3 -
My dad coded in vim.
I code in VS Code.
My son will code in VS Code.
But his son, will code in vim.13 -
My development process seems to go:
1. Write code
2. Believe that said code is amazing
3. Write more code
4. Revisit earlier code and start to doubt it's amazing-ness
5. Get frustrated that it could be done better
6. Redo 1 and repeat cycle
Seems a massive waste of time but I tend to like taking a different approach as soon as I find I'm getting stuck with the previous one.
I then get encouraged to take the quick/easy approach which seems like a backwards step and not worthwhile because I know it won't be as fast/efficient.2 -
My FAVORITE bugs are those in someone ELSE's code that MY code depends on. Like an API that won't respond correctly when I FOLLOW THE DOCUMENTATION EXACTLY. 😐1
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Me at the new company:
My code doesn't work, I don't know why..
My code works!, But still I don't know why5 -
My team is using Teams to share code snippets. And because I know they don't (know how to?) use git remotes, I have to share my code through Teams as well.11
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* Driving... Thinking about code.
* Walking... Thinking about code.
* Lying down... Thinking about code.
* Sitting down... Thinking about code.
* Eating... Thinking about code.
* Conversating... Thinking about code.
* Praying... Thinking about code.
* Partying... Thinking about code.
* Pooing... Thinking about code.
* Bathing... Thinking about code.
* Eyes closed... Thinking about code.
* Eyes open... Thinking about code.
Genie... I think you already know my wish.12 -
So, my boss is pretty cool. Two of my colleagues made a review of my code (me being new, also on job training). We three were sitting in front of my code, me explaining enthusiastically my code, one of my colleagues looked a bit confused. My boss listening to the whole conversation, he said: "Her code works perfectly". But the way he said it, priceless! I swear, he had a very 'bitchy' voice and also waved while saying that. He looked proud, and we started to laugh.4
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I love code but my wife comes first. My kids come first. Although I do code for gun, a lot of times my other hobbies come first.
My life comes first. Am I alone?9 -
After 10 years maintaining the same codebase, I sometimes find features in the system that I wrote years ago and I forgot they existed, like "Cool, I didn't know the system was able to do that, I completely forgot, I wonder how it works, and God knows how I wrote this shit, let's see..".
I've even found myself starting to implement features that already exist, and then having to revert the changes.3 -
Here's me sitting in the exam thinking all about my code I wrote the previous night. Suddenly brain strikes that I forgot to pass one function somewhere in the code. So I submitted my paper and left to debug the code.
Code ran but I failed in the exam :D :P -
Somehow my brain assumes that code is high performance code when its all written in lowercase... :D5
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I'm a programmar
I'm a programmor
I'm a programer
*sigh*
I write code.
Still finding spelling errors in my code.3 -
you motherfucking cocksucking ass wipes.
How fucking hard is it for you JS cockheads to have STABLE fucking code?
So hear I am, thinking through a side project for data extraction and loading to automate some shitty part of my job, that could be used by the broader team... and decide to use electron.... I know it's a clusterfuck, but this wouldn't be a big application, so against my better judgement I run:
npm install electron
npm start
...
Error: unknown spawn
🤷♂️ you had 1 fucking job... 1 fucking lousy shit stain of a job, and you can't even have something run out of the god foresaken box without someone debugging your shit.
Now who has a WORKING alternative to electron?10 -
Don’t you hate it when people completly overcomplicates code?
The bottom one is my edit of the code.
7 -
I have been trying to understand why my student's code isn't working just to find this piece of code. Checking out code early in the morning is definitely not my thing.
3 -
I feel so guilty.
I had to make a hotfix today. It is the ugliest piece of shit code I ever intentionally created. But there was no other way. I swear there was no other fucking way!
My boss just assigned this to me. But because she thinks this needs to be a hotfix and can't wait for the next release we just have to change the server and not the client side of our application.
So I had to add a memory to our server so that it knows from which high level method from the client the multiple low level calls to it are coming from.
It just doesn't make sense logically.
I mean I feel like I killed someone. And just so that we get less writes to our DB. I mean yes in some edge cases it is a huge speed-up...
But nothing this fix solves is a new bug.
I'm gonna take a shower now. For like an hour3 -
ask about his game code logic he will rage, ask about how his front end code doing he will rage, talk to him about my server so that his front end code can follow he will rage.. and the end of final project which I merge my code and his code (I need to refactor nearly everything) he said you are very hard communicate. _. fml2
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*In competitive coding*
My code has an error
Me : *doesn't have a clue*
My code gets executed
Me : *doesn't have a clue*
XD4 -
Fine don't take my suggestion during refactoring old code. Keep the python code over 100 lines of code...we could have cut it in half, but whatever
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Spent 4h+ debugging my code (it was late)...only to realise that my code was not buggy, but the fuckup in design was in the original part I didn't change..FML..
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My biggest fear about publishing open source code is people looking at it and having the same reaction a have when I get back at my old code.2
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If I had to audit my current code I'd definitly stick a cactus up my arse shouting in the mirror:
ALL YOUR CODE IS GOOD FOR IS ULTIMATE DELETION. YOU FILTHY MAGGOT! LEARN TO CODE... *rage quit*
Really, coding shit because of spare time simply makes me ripping my face of 💀 -
99 little bugs in my code,
99 little bugs in my code,
Take one down, patch it around,
100 little bugs in my code.
1 -
Day 1 of learning to build interpreters: finished the scripts for basic mathematic operations and beginnings of functions... Spent 4 fucking hours trying to track down why the compiler is treating an end of file token as an addition token... No luck, going to bed with a headache and half a head of torn out hair...7
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BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE. STOP POLLUTING MY PRODUCTION CODE WITH TEST CODE, YOU FUCKING CRETINS.
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So after joining devRant I discovered that some people have an issue with people touching "their code"...
This hasn't been a problem anywhere I've ever worked, with any person (that I know of).
Is this a vocal minority, or have I somehow avoided this subset of people through sheer luck?5 -
I don't like that my team and my company uses Skype as the messaging tool for teams. There are no code highlighting when I need to share code snippet to devs!13
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So today I published my very first VS Code extension! 😁 I don't think anyone but me will think it's useful but it saves me a few seconds every time I change something in my code and I want to test it. Just hit a button in VS Code an and ta da! The project is compiled and running!
VS Code Marketplace: https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
GitHub: https://github.com/olback/...3 -
In my current team, when someone else's code breaks, I fix it. When my code breaks, I also fix it. I feel like there's something wrong here...1
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Soon to finish my CompSci degree and already have been invited to relatives for dinner... And IT-support...
(They had statically set their NAS to the same IP as the router and lost it)
I guess its time to prepare for the onslaught of screw-ups I'll be asked to fix.5 -
When your mostly done code that you spent time on documenting and keeping clean gets handed over to the sloppiest dev on the team. Because that dev is out of tasks and you got other work that moved up in priority. I really hope he doesn't ruin everything :(3
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*News for the users here that deal with web hosting here*
Hey there anyone that vaguely remembers me, so have been busy with my network lately dont have much time to get back here, I dont know if someone has already reported this new, I found it while I was scooting for news to share on my site (shameless plug: https://legionfront.me/pages/news)
Its about our loved /s and highly used Wordpress and its lovely code /ss
https://thehackernews.com/2018/02/...
Short story short if, there is an exploit (of the many) to DDoS a network of worpress sites that has been present since almost literally forever, the code to fix it is in the article
8 -
There is only one way of boiling spagetti (code)
1.Measure your required amount of spagetti (in project)
2.Wrong1 -
When you code all day long, on your workplace and later at home, "live" meaning switches places. Stops being "code to live" and becomes "live for code". Change my mind.3
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I got a rubber duck that can say what my code is doing wrong! Well, actually it is my brother that just gives me advice on how I can make my code work lol1
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My tablet that I had all my code for an app just took a shit out of no where it was never dropped not even a scratch it just went black and well never went back fuck my entire existence
7 -
One of our developer told that my code is ugly to our project manager. And my response was 'I know right! By the way your code also sucks. Fair enough.'1
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My code doesn't work> I have no idea why !
My code works> I have no idea why !
........ :-/ ........1 -
Sometime my code is so wrong that I can almost hear the mother of algorithm crying out loud.
I just want to remove that piece of code from my project....no, from my mind, my life. -
My code doesn't work and I don't know why.
I cleared cache, my code doesn't work, and I still don't know why.
I cleared cache, reloaded vagrant, my code doesn't work, and I still don't know why.
I left my desk, got some coffee, checked devRant, refreshed my browser, my code worked, and I still don't know why!
8 -
Me: ChatGPT write me a secure NGINX config which does...(continues to explain project details)
ChatGPT: Here. it's simple and it does all those things.
Me: Reads code. Looks at my code. Reads more code. Looks at my code. Squints in concentration. Ctrl + A Ctr + C.3 -
Created a piece of code (code A). It didn't work.
Found a replacement on StackOverflow (code B), commented out my code A and tried the new one.
Everything seemed fine, deleted code A. Tried the app and it crashed.
Re-added the commented code, and the app started working again.
-_____________________-2 -
Fucking Mess!
Apparently my code flunked during deployed cause some retard didn't pull the code and made his commit. Unfortunately this was after I MADE MY COMMIT.
noobs! -
"Code"
And the website says "Lonely geeky people do need apply"
So I put my on my glasses and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I shook his hand and, I said "I am glad I will be working for you."
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
And the sign says "If you want to use this site you must accept our cookies"
So I found the CEOs address and doxxed him all night!
To put up a dialog and block content from my sight.
If Todd was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, "it just works"
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Oh, say now mister, can't you code
You got to have a laptop and a hoodie to get a job
You can't work, no you can't standup, you ain't supposed to be here
And the website says "You got to have an employee ID to get inside" - yo!
And the website says "Everybody welcome, come in, code and share"
But then they passed around a git pull at the end of it all
And I didn't have a character to code
So I got me laptop and I made up my own fuckin' code
I typed, "Thank you OSS for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", yeah
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Yes! Some old song, called "Code code", I wish we did write that one, but
We didn't - git blame!
Hello World!6 -
Tldr:
Can't fucking figure out why I'm the only one who can't solve a DP problem in code, when me and friends use the same idea and no one knows why only mine doesn't work...
We are given a task to solve a problem using DP. My friends write their code with the same idea as a solution. Copying the code is not allowed. I follow the same idea but my code won't work. Others look into it, in case they find errors. They can't find any.
The problem (for reference):
Given a fixed list of int's a = (a_1,a_2,...,a_n) and b = (b_1,b_2,...,b_n), a_i and b_i >= 0, a.length == b.length
We want to maximize the sum of a_i's chosen. Every a_i is connected with the b_i at the same index. b_i tells us how many indexes of a we have to skip if choosing the corresponding a_i, so list index of b_i + b_i's value + 1 would be the position of the next a_i available.
The idea:
Create a new list c with same length as a (or b).
Begin at the end of c and save a_n at the same position in c. Iterate backwards through c and at each position add the max value of all previously saved values of c (with regards to the b_i-restriction) with the current a_i, else a_i + 0 if the b_i-resctriction goes beyond the list.
Return the max value of c.
How does that not work for me but for the others?? Funny enough, a few given samples work with my code. I'm questioning my coding ability...7 -
I thought my code was bad and that was why it was taking twice as long as any other group to run
No it’s just Illinois the state my group was assigned has almost 2000 more data rows to scrape compared to any other group. My code wasn’t running slow. It just had longer to run
I’ve spent 4 days trying to fucking refactor and improve my code Ignoring clean code and attempting clever code to run faster and now I need to revert back to clean code since no one else in my group would be able to understand or work on the damn file if I left it at clever
Fucking hell 😫1 -
It's more annoying for me when my code works and I don't know why (when actually it has not work) than when my code doesn't work and I don't know why.
2 -
My friend Just completed his notice period in my company, but now he's saying that I forgot to copy some code for reference like their architecture and authentication code, so, he's asking me to share the repo code of my company. The company has deleted all his data while he was leaving. So what should I do? should I share the code without including .env files or what should I do?10
-
Lost my changes twice now. First time was my own fault. Was in a hurry to pick up my son from daycare so I checked in my code and locked my computer before the code was actually checked in. So today when I took "Get latest" somehow my last code from yesterday vanished. So, I rewrote everything, but now there was some problem with service references, and building the solution failed. A colleague had a look into it, but he couldn't resolve the problem neither. Instead he accidentally made an undo changes on my code, so now my code is gone again. And the solution still doesn't build. I'm just a *leetle* frustrated right now :(3
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I guess I would be a teacher because... Hey those kids won't teach themselves. Or I will build EMP weapons because fuck I like my job.
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Update to my last rant*:
I got to know what my colleague did as he "rewrote" my code:
He just searched some GitHub-Projects and used the good old copy+paste method.
Awesome bro, "rewriting" code until nobody's understanding it is the best method to improve code.
*https://devrant.io/rants/735762/...2 -
Before: why the hell my code isn't running?!! FML 😬
After: How and why the fuck is my code running!! -
So today was my first time combining mocking, depenancy injection and promises. I thought I had a relatively good understanding of everything until I started writing tests - now my head is spinning.
The actual coding has gone really well - implimented the strategy pattern so I can reuse my code whenever I want to make an API call - and everything is nicely decoupled so it should be easy to test. In theory.
If anyone here happens to write tests for a living, I have a new found respect for you today...
Time for a beer 😅3 -
The power to make clients trust my code.
It's a vicious circle; I code, client doesn't trust my code, I make changes as a result which break the code and.... Stack overflow exception -
Starts a new project in school with a colleague. Write some code, a lot of code, just to find out, that he "optimized" my code and now all of my code looks completly different but does the same thing wiht same performance.
Colleague: The code is now better
My Face: 😫 -
Add a Progressive set to my playlist, mostly no earphones, on speakers!
Music calms the world down for me. Then Code, Code, Code until my body sweats and aches while sitting. -
I want to start learning to document my code. What tools do you guys use? I've seen https://www.gitbook.com/ but their server has been on and off all day and I prefer reliable services.
This project is the reason I'm finally learning to document my code: https://gitlab.com/datwood/...1 -
Never thought an underscore could bug me till today. Took me three hours to find out if I removed the underscore the form field would be required. Thanks stupid formhandler
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My code works....
...turns on MySQL strict
...my code doesn’t work
...fixes
...turns on Notice errors...
...My code doesn’t work :-/ -
Starting a job. No computer for the whole week with no prospects for when will I even get one.
Doing nothing, still getting paid, but starting slowly and surely to loose my mind...
I NEED TO SEE Code in order to live.1 -
My first working code added to the office's project's codebase. It's really an amazing feeling to see my written code along with other dev's code. The senior developers were very supportive and helpful. There is a lot to learn. 😁
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When I was started my journey in coding, what ever I do, I think about coding. Sleep code, eat code, dream code, dating code. Its become my usually nightmares.
Its become worst when I got stucked in coding. Ppl see me like a geek zombie.
Coding used to ruin my life.
But when my code working like charm, feel like god. I can do anything. 😂😂😂
Sometime l just love it, but most of the time I fucking hate it. -
idk why but personal project code gives me more OCD triggers than work project code.
Can't code for myself anymore. My OCD kicks in and makes me wanna throw up when I look at the shit I coded last week for my pet project.3 -
I usually review my code and if it doesn't look right it needs improving (even if it works). I hate when I see code that I know is flawed. My coding skills are weak but it's easy to spot crap code
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CODE DOJO
yesterday a had a code dojo firt time in my life. do y like code dojo? do y have some good advices? because i would like to organize code dojo in our firm.3
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