Hoorah! My code finally works! Now gotta remove those 1000 print statements I used to identify the bugs 😥

** The most hilarious authentication implementation I've ever seen **

They stored password in cleartext, but never mind, this is sadly quite common.
For some reasons credentials were also case insensitive (maybe to avoid silly tickets from CAPS LOCK lovers?).

Then I had a look to the query executed during the login:
SELECT * FROM users WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?;

So I tried logging in with user "admin" and password "%"... and it worked!
I laughed all the day.

So my friend has two-step authentication for his smartphone.

Now he is not able to find his phone.

So, he tried to find his phone by logging into his google account via Android Device Manager.

Now, it is asking for the authentication pin which is in his phone.😂

He just got deadlocked.

My brother logging in to my facebook to post "i m gayy".

Things were simpler back then.

My classmate just fell for a phishing email from "PayPal."

She was talking about her payment being declined to her friend.

It peaked my attention when she said after logging in, she was lead to a blank page.

I asked if I could see it and it was definitely a phishing email

I will admit, it's one of the most professional phishing email I've ever seen, but the grammar wasn't very professional and the PayPal logo wasn't completely accurate.

Why do these idiots fall for everything?

After several months of bug fixing, I can proudly say the application I inherited at work has gone a whole day in production without an unhandled exception (from a peak of above 1200 a few months ago).

Well, either that or I've broken the error logging and am now living in blissful ignorance.

I'm logging my DevRant time as training ... I read all these dumb things that people do, and make mental notes so that I don't do the same thing. Best. Training. Ever.

Worst thing you've seen another dev do? Long one, but has a happy ending.

Classic 'Dev deploys to production at 5:00PM on a Friday, and goes home.' story.

The web department was managed under the the Marketing department, so they were not required to adhere to any type of coding standards and for months we fought with them on logging. Pre-Splunk, we rolled our own logging/alerting solution and they hated being the #1 reason for phone calls/texts/emails every night.

Wanting to "get it done", 'Tony' decided to bypass the default logging and send himself an email if an exception occurred in his code.

At 5:00PM on a Friday, deploys, goes home.

Around 11:00AM on Sunday (a lot folks are still in church at this time), the VP of IS gets a call from the CEO (who does not go to church) about unable to log into his email. VP has to leave church..drive home and find out he cannot remote access the exchange server. He starts making other phone calls..forcing the entire networking department to drive in and get email back up (you can imagine not a group of happy people)

After some network-admin voodoo, by 12:00, they discover/fix the issue (know it was Tony's email that was the problem)

We find out Monday that not only did Tony deploy at 5:00 on a Friday, the deployment wasn't approved, had features no one asked for, wasn't checked into version control, and the exception during checkout cost the company over $50,000 in lost sales.

Was Tony fired? Noooo. The web is our cash cow and Tony was considered a top web developer (and he knew that), Tony decided to blame logging. While in the discovery meeting, Tony told the bosses that it wasn't his fault logging was so buggy and caused so many phone calls/texts/emails every night, if he had been trained properly, this problem could have been avoided.

Well, since I was responsible for logging, I was next in the hot seat.

For almost 30 minutes I listened to every terrible thing I had done to Tony ever since he started. I was a terrible mentor, I was mean, I was degrading, etc..etc.
Me: "Where is this coming from? I barely know Tony. We're not even in the same building. I met him once when he started, maybe saw him a couple of times in meetings."
Andrew: "Aren't you responsible for this logging fiasco?"
Me: "Good Lord no, why am I here?"
Andrew: "I'll rephrase so you'll understand, aren't you are responsible for the proper training of how developers log errors in their code? This disaster is clearly a consequence of your failure. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Me: "Nothing. Developers are responsible for their own choices. Tony made the choice to bypass our logging and send errors to himself, causing Exchange to lockup and losing sales."
Andrew: "A choice he made because he was not properly informed of the consequences? Again, that is a failure in the proper use of logging, and why you are here."
Me: "I'm done with this. Does John know I'm in here? How about you get John and you talk to him like that."
'John' was the department head at the time.
Andrew:"John, have you spoken to Tony?"
John: "Yes, and I'm very sorry and very disappointed. This won't happen again."
Me: "Um...What?"
John: "You know what. Did you even fucking talk to Tony? You just sit in your ivory tower and think your actions don't matter?"
Me: "Whoa!! What are you talking about!? My responsibility for logging stops with the work instructions. After that if Tony decides to do something else, that is on him."
John: "That is not how Tony tells it. He said he's been struggling with your logging system everyday since he's started and you've done nothing to help. This behavior ends today. We're a fucking team. Get off your damn high horse and help the little guy every once in a while."
Me: "I don't know what Tony has been telling you, but I barely know the guy. If he has been having trouble with the one line of code to log, this is the first I've heard of it."
John: "Like I said, this ends today. You are going to come up with a proper training class and learn to get out and talk to other people."

Over the next couple of weeks I become a powerpoint wizard and 'train' anyone/everyone on the proper use of logging. The one line of code to log. One line of code.

A friend 'Scott' sits close to Tony (I mean I do get out and know people) told me that Tony poured out the crocodile tears. Like cried and cried, apologizing, calling me everything but a kitchen sink,...etc. It was so bad, his manager 'Sally' was crying, her boss 'Andrew', was red in the face, when 'John' heard 'Sally' was crying, you can imagine the high levels of alpha-male 'gotta look like I'm protecting the females' hormones flowing.

Took almost another year, Tony released a change on a Friday, went home, web site crashed (losses were in the thousands of $ per minute this time), and Tony was not let back into the building on Monday (one of the best days of my life).

So Nvidia doesn't let you use their GeForce Experience app anymore without logging in.
*Uninstalled*
Fuck that, I don't want to login so I can see an FPS counter in my ganes or record them to my local disk or something like that... Fuck you Nvidia and fuck whoever decided that would be a good idea.

We're having an ongoing credential stuffing attack right now. Hackers hit us hard over the weekend and the web team sent out an email congratulating themselves that they stopped the threat.

I decided to look to see how they "fixed" the issue.

They modified their code to stop logging the errors to prevent Splunk from sending the automated emails to management (how we have been able to spot/monitor the attack).

They literally just put their heads in the sand, stapled a sign to their ass that reads "Meteor? We see no meteor approaching. Everything is fine."

Fucking wix advertisements! Getting real tired of the "want a website? Why not make it yourself?" ads. You're already logging all my fucking google searches to display relevant ad info so maybe wrap your head around the fact that I'm a web dev and make my own fucking sites??

I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...

Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!

Death Sentence for devs who won't let you unsubscribe from newsletters without logging in

Boss: "Yeah we have a logging project coming up that has to be done in C" Me: "I know C, I can give some pointers on that"

I now know another person's password without even wanting to.

He was sitting in the row in front of me, logging into our course page and then *brrrrraaaaapppp* - ran his index finger along the top number row and hit enter.

1234567890

I don't even know what to say.

Yes, you fucking retards, I will read this article about logging in NodeJS when the cover photo

- Isn't JavaScript
- Isn't about logging

You really seem to know what you're talking about!

!rant
*me logging into the demo system*
Me: so what is the login data?
Boss: we are a security company, what do you think?
Me: admin admin?
Boss: admin admin.

I used to work as an all-in-one IT guy in a company. One day I got a call from our HR team and the HR said "my Internet banking account has been hacked! It's logging in automatically!!" So I went to see the issue, and the so called "hack" was because she allowed Mozilla Firefox to save her login credentials, and because of that the login form was automatically filled. Such a stupid ass

My code broke for no reason.
I added a log statement to see why.
*tests code*
It worked....
What the 何?!

Yesterday the web site started logging an exception “A task was canceled” when making a http call using the .Net HTTPClient class (site calling a REST service).

Emails back n’ forth ..blaming the database…blaming the network..then a senior web developer blamed the logging (the system I’m responsible for).

Under the hood, the logger is sending the exception data to another REST service (which sends emails, generates reports etc.) which I had to quickly re-direct the discussion because if we’re seeing the exception email, the logging didn’t cause the exception, it’s just reporting it. Felt a little sad having to explain it to other IT professionals, but everyone seemed to agree and focused on the server resources.

Last night I get a call about the exceptions occurring again in much larger numbers (from 100 to over 5,000 within a few minutes). I log in, add myself to the large skype group chat going on just to catch the same senior web developer say …
“Here is the APM data that shows logging is causing the http tasks to get canceled.”

FRACK!

Me: “No, that data just shows the logging http traffic of the exception. The exception is occurring before any logging is executed. The task is either being canceled due to a network time out or IIS is running out of threads. The web site is failing to execute the http call to the REST service.”

Several other devs, DBAs, and network admins agree.

The errors only lasted a couple of minutes (exactly 2 minutes, which seemed odd), so everyone agrees to dig into the data further in the morning.

This morning I login to my computer to discover the error(s) occurred again at 6:20AM and an email from the senior web developer saying we (my mgr, her mgr, network admins, DBAs, etc) need to discuss changes to the logging system to prevent this problem from negatively affecting the customer experience...blah blah blah.

FRACKing female dog!

Good news is we never had the meeting. When the senior web dev manager came in, he cancelled the meeting.

Turned out to be a hiccup in a domain controller causing the servers to lose their connection to each other for 2 minutes (1-minute timeout, 1 minute to fully re-sync). The exact two-minute burst of errors explained (and proven via wireshark).

People and their petty office politics piss me off.

My secret joy. Logging into our "automated email do not reply" mailbox and reading folks futile attempts to argue with an automated system

Pro-Tip: Debugging/Logging with emojis is so much more fun

My family hosts an 100 mile (160km) run once every year for ultra-runners. 11 hours in the first runner has done 105 km. And I'm sitting at this checkpoint logging their times and working on a project. But rain started pouring down and this not so waterproof tent has just become the worst developing workplace I have ever been in because the umbrella ain't big enough for me and the laptop. So I'm soaked and won't be relieved for another 8 hours. The things you do for family.

Sometimes the design decisions of big companies amazes me.

I wanted to contact support of Cloudflare. The only way to submit a new support query is by logging into the account first.

My problem is that I can not log into my account. What a bunch of retards.

So I thought I will set up a PIN to make logging into the corporate PC easier. Hm... based on these requirements I can probably stick with password.

Me: Hello. I'm from dept. ABC. My system isn't working.

IT: Have you tried logging OFF & ON again?

Me: (Let me rephrase) No the system isn't turning ON 😅

IT: Before I come over to your desk, can you try restarting once? 🤓

Me: (Motherfuck..) 🙂

Every single fucking time:

Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!

half a year later:

Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
Developers: ...

Irony of github....
A blocked person can easily see your profile after logging out
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In the old days switching accounts was as simple as logging out and logging in

Now, logging out redirects you to 20 different pages, doesn't redirect you to the original page, and sometimes it doesn't even log you out

I GOT A PROPER DEV ROLE!!

The days of bemoaning the quality of devs on a product and logging tickets that never get addressed are coming to an end!

Edited: autocorrect changed it to "loving", somewhat optimistically

It fucking staggers me how many backend/devops-y people don't understand what a client side "request timeout" is, versus a server side one.

What does it mean:

The client was fed up with the servers bullshit, and decided to piss off and not wait around for the server to take forever to respond, because life's too short.

How not to solve/debug this issue:

- "I've checked the API request in tool xyz, and it works fine for me"

Congratulations, you've figured out how to call an API once, in isolation to the rest of the application, and without any excessive load. And using a different client to me, with a different configuration. Lets get back to actually looking at the issue shall we?

- "I only see HTTP 200's in the logs"

Yep, you probably will in most circumstances, because its the client complaining about it taking too long, not the server. If the server was telepathetic and knew what the client was thinking/doing at all times, we wouldn't have half of the errors we do.

- "Ah ok, I understand ... so how do I solve this?"

Your asking me? I don't fucking know, I didn't build the server! Put better logging in place and figure out why sometimes it takes forever.

Jesus fucking christ

I think I've got a working searx instance which I'd open up for the public.

NOTE: I cannot prove that I don't store anything because for that you'd need root access to the server which I won't give obviously. If you're not comfortable with that, just don't uses it.

I still have to do something for ip address logging anonymising or stripping, though. (nginx + CSF provided enough abuse prevention).

Tips on that?

Client: “I’m sorry I just don’t understand the issue with the contract?

You said logging into Facebook was easy, what’s the issue with feature X (= complex graph API queries based on opinions and sentiment) and displaying images and videos, it’s the same thing!!!”

... no sir, it is NOT

I came back here, after not logging in for about a year just to say that patents are fucking stupid. Thanks, see you in another year!

CR: "Add x here (to y) so it fits our code standards"
> No other Y has an X. None.

CR: "Don't ever use .html_safe"
> ... Can't render html without it. Also, it's already been sanitized, literally by sanitize(), written by the security team.

CR: "Haven't seen the code yet; does X change when resetting the password?"
> The feature doesn't have or reference passwords. It doesn't touch anything even tangentially related to passwords.
> Also: GO READ THE CODE! THAT'S YOUR BLOODY JOB!

CR: "Add an 'expired?' method that returns '!active'?"
> Inactive doesn't mean expired. Yellow doesn't mean sour. There's already an 'is_expired?' method.

CR: "For logging, always use json so we can parse it. Doesn't matter if we can't read it; tools can."
CR: "For logging, never link log entries to user-readable code references; it's a security concern."
CR: "Make sure logging is human-readable and text-searchable and points back to the code."
> Confused asian guy, his hands raised.

CR: "Move this data formatting from the view into the model."
> No. Views are for formatting.

CR: "Use .html() here since you're working with html"
> .html() does not support html. It converts arrays into html.

NONE OF THIS IS USEFUL! WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME IF YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ MY CODE!?

dfjasklfagjklewrjakfljasdf

When a colleague left their computer without logging out, I created a shortcut to internet explorer, named it Google Chrome, and changed the icon to Chrome's icon. I couldn't remove Chrome's shortcut from the desktop or modify it because I didn't have permissions, so I turned of icon snapping and dragged it off the screen. I also replaced Chrome in the task bar with my fake icon. I then set the Internet Explorer to open a bunch of useless pages when it opens, set it to the default browser, and changed the search engine to Yahoo!

Logging into Windows at the age of 1 and a half ... Challenge accepted!

It's always fun when the app is crashed by a... logger

Any bikers around here?

I recently bought my first motor bike ( super cheap ) and I'm excited to add some enhancements to it like GPS logging and collect relevant data about my bike.

Have you don't anything similar to your ride? I would like to put my Dev skills and improve my bike as a hobby.

"WTF? These records should have been inserted into the table!"
...Hours of checking code, trying to figure out how this is possible, can't find a way to have this scenario happen...
...Add additional debug and troubleshooting code, add more verbose logging, redeploy to all the containers, reset all the tables, many apologies to the boss for the delay....
...Co-worker comes in: "oh, hey, sorry, accidently deleted some stuff from the database last night before i left."

They always say "Stop wasting time".
They always say "Just use the tools we are all using".
They always say "I get it, you're the OSS guy. IDC, go to work now".
They always say "I hope you won't be logging this time on our customer's timesheet".

And they always come back to me "Look, I've heard that tool you've made/found is really cool and efficient, saves lots of trouble and makes us go faster. Can you send it to me via slack? TIA"

I see things that could/should work better and I make them do exactly that. It's my gift. It's my curse.

during code review...
peer: "you should pass this variable, and extract the logger from it"
me: "why? it is a 3 line logging function. why not pass the logger instance?"
peer: "because that is our best practice. It is the way we do things"
me: "why is it a best practice?"
peer: "because it is. We use it everywhere!"
me: "No we don't. And I still don't understand why is this a best practice. can you explain?"
peer: gives ups, did not look at the mr, and was not going to.

mr stays open. probably forever.

So... I'm pretty much dead inside.

But today I laughed in a meeting.

Nearly died of laughter.

We're currently understaffed for various reasons, especially the ongoing migrations etc.

So a lot of projects are currently in "maintenance" mode (e.g. no new features) - cause we lack the necessary man power.

The meeting was more or less:

Team: We had an ongoing discussion in the team regarding logging and possibilities of tracing and XY suggested we implement OpenTelemetry in *all* projects in the next weeks, can we do that?"

Sometimes I'm not sure If I'm in a sitcom for torture experts.

Introduced a ‘new’ logging framework for our web site. Web team is testing the integration and I get an email saying the logging wasn’t working. Instead of sending me how she is searching the logs, she sends me a screen shot of the code (which is ass-backwards of how I documented the logging library, but that’s another rant). OK, she wrote 5 lines of code that should be one line, but OK, the error still should have logged fine. I search the logs, and sure enough, there they are. Errors logged just as they should.
So I email back (with screenshot of the search query and results) asking how she searched for the errors.
Hour later she responds ..”I don’t know.”
That’s it.
WTF do you mean “I don’t know”?…WTF…you are a –bleep-ing developer too! This is not the first –bleep-ing splunk query you’ve written!
OK..I’m calm..feeling better. Wouldn’t be so bad if she emailed just me with the question (I’m not a splunk query expert either, we can figure it out together), but she was sure to cc 3 of the PMs involved in the integration, my boss, and other team members to make it sound like the problem was my code.

When I see two fields, one for username and one for password, I expect I can fill them out immediately subsequently with only a tab in between. While typing my password I DON'T want to get sent to a page where I can enter my password only: I was entering it already! Sometimes I even make it until I pressed the enter key that was supposed to log me in, but then I'm kindly requested to reenter my password. At that moment I not-so-kindly think: FUCK YOU Microsoft, you should know better. Even when logging into Visual Studio for fack sake

I like logging into public wireless networks where the admin credentials are the default and mess with their wireless settings...

Am I wrong?

Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.

On a 5 hour bus ride for which the company advertised that they have WiFi. Technically they did, it just didn't seem to be connected to anything. (it was but it was unusable). I tried logging into the router as i always do and one default "admin" password later i was in.
I didn't want to mess up anything too badly, however i did change the wpa password to "YouShouldMakeThisABitMoreSecure"

What features would you want in a logger?

Here's what I'm planning so far:
- Tagged entries for easy scanning of log file
- Support for indenting to group similar sequential entries
- Multiple entry types (normal, info, event, warning, error, fatal, debug, verbose)
- Meta entries, so the logger logging about itself, e.g. disk i/o failures.
- Ability to add custom entry types, including tag, log-level, etc.
- Customizable timestamp function
- Support for JS's async nature -- this equates to passing a unique key per 'thread'; the logger will re-write all the parent blocks for context, if necessary. if that sounds confusing, it's okay; just trust that it makes sense.
- Caching, retries, etc. in the event of disk i/o issues.
- Support for custom writers, allowing you to e.g. write logs to an API rather than console or disk.

How about these features?
- Multiple (named) logs with separate writers (console, disk, etc.)
- Ability to individually enable/disable writing of specific entry types. (want verbose but not info? sure thing, weirdo!)
- Multiple writers per log. Combined with the above, this would allow you to write specific entry types (e.g. error, warning, fatal) to stderr instead of stdout, or to different apis.
- Ability to write the same log entry to multiple logs simultaneously

What do you think of these features?
What other features would you want?
I'm open to suggestions!

They added a javascript that checks the login info. Worst part an if statement was the only thing keeping you from logging in without the correct password

<just got out of this meeting>
Mgr: “Can we log the messages coming from the services?”
Me: “Absolutely, but it could be a lot of network traffic and create a lot of noise. I’m not sure if our current logging infrastructure is the right fit for this.”
Senior Dev: “We could use Log4Net. That will take care of the logging.”
Mgr: “Log4Net?…Yea…I’ve heard of it…Great, make it happen.”
Me: “Um…Log4Net is just the client library, I’m talking about the back-end, where the data is logged. For this issue, we want to make sure the data we’re logging is as concise as possible. We don’t want to cause a bottleneck inside the service logging informational messages.”
Mgr: “Oh, no, absolutely not, but I don’t know the right answer, which is why I’ll let you two figure it out.”
Senior Dev: “Log4Net will take care of any threading issues we have with logging. It’ll work.”
Me: “Um..I’m sure…but we need to figure out what we need to log before we decide how we’re logging it.”
Senior Dev: “Yea, but if we log to SQL database, it will scale just fine.”
Mgr: “A SQL database? For logging? That seems excessive.”
Senior Dev: “No, not really. Log4Net takes care of all the details.”
Me: “That’s not going to happen. We’re not going to set up an entire sql database infrastructure to log data.”
Senior Dev: “Yea…probably right. We could use ElasticSearch or even Redis. Those are lightweight.”
Mgr: “Oh..yea…I’ve heard good things about Redis.”
Senior Dev: “Yea, and it runs on Linux and Linux is free.”
Mgr: “I like free, but I’m late for another meeting…you guys figure it out and let me know.”
<mgr leaves>
Me: “So..Linux…um…know anything about administrating Redis on Linux?”
Senior Dev: ”Oh no…not a clue.”

It was all I could do from doing physical harm to another human being.
I really hate people playing buzzword bingo with projects I’m responsible for.

Only good piece is he’s not changing any of the code.

Did somebody forgot to turn off info logs in production.

Inmates are trying to take over the asylum again.

Got a message from the web team manager deeply concerned because since switching to the new logging framework, the site is significantly slower.

She provided no proof or any data to what 'significantly slower' means.

#1 The 'new logging' has been in place and logging for 5 years. We only recently depreciated the ILogger interface ('new' ILogger interface only has 1 method instead of 5)
#2 The 'old logging' was modified 5 years ago, so even if you were using the 'old' interface, the underlying implementation is still the same.

She tried to push the 'it wasn't this slow before' argument, so I decided to do some fact based analysis.
Knowing they deployed their logging changes couple of weeks ago, I opened up AppDynamics, looked at the average call time to Splunk (along with a few other http calls they are doing)
- caching services - 5ms
- splunk - 30ms
- Order Service - 350ms
- Product Data Service -525ms

Then I look at the data they are logging, for the month of June, over 5 million messages. At 30ms each, that's almost 42 hours spent logging errors...yes errors. Null reference exceptions, Argument exceptions, easily fixable stuff.

So far for the month of July (using the 'new' logging), almost 2.5 million errors. Pretty close so far with June's numbers.

My only suggestion was to fix the bugs in their code so they don't log so many errors.

Her response.."Can we have one of our developers review your logging code? We believe we can find ways to optimize the http requests"

Oh good Lord. I'm not a drinking man..but ...I might start.

I've started logging my sleep patterns on a spreadsheet. Hoping to get some interesting statistics eventually.

Is it just me, or does anyone miss logging into a Unix/Linux machine, doing a 'w' or 'who' and seeing a long list of folks all using the machine simultaneously? I still reflexively run 'who' as soon as I log into any real or virtual Unix or Linux machine and I am still slightly disappointed to find I'm all alone on it.

So we have an API that my team is supposed send messages to in a fire and forget kind of style.

We are dependent on it. If it fails there is some annoying manual labor involved to clean that mess up. (If it even can be cleaned up, as sometimes it is also time-sensitive.)

Yet once in a while, that endpoint just crashes by letting the request vanish. No response, no error, nothing, it is just gone.

Digging through the log files of that API nothing pops up. Yet then I realize the size of the log files. About ~30GB on good old plain text log files.

It turns out that that API has taken the LOG EVERYTHING approach so much too heart that it logs to the point of its own death.

Is circular logging such a bleeding edge technology? It's not like there are external solutions for it like loggly or kibana. But oh, one might have to pay for them. Just dump it to the disk :/

This is again a combination of developers thinking "I don't need to care about space! It's cheap!" and managers thinking "100 GB should be enough for that server cluster. Let's restrict its HDD to 100GB, save some money!"

And then, here I stand trying to keep my sanity :/

ALMOST HALF AN HOUR SPENT TRYING TO LOG INTO MY FUCKING RASPBERRY PI OVER SSH.

you know what the problem is?

I’m not gonna tell you because I want you to feel the agony too.

> be me
> want to set up a nextcloud instance on pi to play with
> boot up
> ssh pi
*enter password*
*password incorrect*
^tries like 60 more times with different things
> pulls HDMI out of PC
> connect to pi direct
*please login*
*enter password*
Hackerman_voice_im_in.mp3
Wtf.xml
> check the logs
>try login from phone
Fuckyou.jpg
>Tries resetting password
Fuckyou-final.jpg
>tried logging into other pi
Fuckyou-final2.jpg
>*wtf’s harder*
Andthenithitme.png
>type @ sign
Pi: “
> OHHHHHHH

X: Hi, regarding that ticket that you made...

You said "Implement logging to find out the culprit in site generation"...

What do you mean exactly?

Me: "Read the meeting notes, we had a full discussion on this 2 weeks ago".

X: "We don't understand it..."

Me: "As I said before, I have no experience in this tech stack... I'd expect bla to have a logging framework and I'd - for easier recognition - implement additional logging levels based on criteria <me just reading the meeting notes>"

X: But how do we do it?

...

I wish I had invented this discussion.

Because it hurts.

For the jolly of it, I had similar discussions today.

Three times to be exactly.

As I asked some dev what I should do next, put a foley catheter up his urethra or change the bed pan he wasn't amused.

Guess I'll get monday a call of HR.

So Monday I have less work to do, which is awesome.

I created our login system to be secure and reliable.

One coworker hardcoded the roles a person who is logging in receives and built a backend to just assign roles you want. He pushed this to prod...

Yeah...

My predecessor used auth as a bool. The only way he kept basic users from accessing admin functions was by including the word "admin" or "user" in the URL so any user could be the administrator by just changing the URL parameters after logging in

For example, mysite.com/admin/editorderdetails vs. mysite.com/user/editorderdetails

I'm planning on writing an open source (and much improved) version of my logger, but I'm stuck on picking a name :<

So, anyone have naming suggestions for a tagged and branching/nesting logging library? (ES6)

(I don't think "deforestation" is a good choice. sounds kinda bad.)

Logging levels: Verbose, Debug, Info, Warning, Error, What a Terrible Failure

So I was logging into google today and my password is very long so I often make mistakes while typing it so I went to inspect element to change input type to text so that I can check the password and I see that Firefox is storing my password already as plain text. Wtf Firefox???

When you take procrastination to another level... Adding Good looking table style output with emoji in a logging script which is only to be used once in a lifetime 😁

Having trouble logging into an app I am suppose to be working on with another dev. Debugging and found this:

// TODO: Temporary Optional because the API is not working properly

... i'm not happy for so many reasons

> worst coding procrastination story

worst and best at the same time:

If you wait long enough things might resolve themselves.

My team inherited an ancient site. Hosted on an old host that the org wanted to kill, using an old log service the org wanted to kill.

A ticket was written in 2021 to migrate that site's hosting and logging to the new services our org started using.

My team kept avoiding it since it was a cheap unimportant site.

in 2023 we were about to finally take action - then we hear "Turns out the new hosting platform and logging platform are way too expensive - I know all of you have migrated to these new services but you gotta revert and go back the old ones til we figure this out"

We didn't have to do squat.

Problem solved by procrastinating ✅

I'm getting annoyed with the increasing number of platforms that implement the "Oops, something went wrong" vague error message.

"Wait, we're logging all web traffic now?"
Me: You're the security engineer, you asked him to do it!
"I know but I didn't think he would actually do it!"

🙄😑

Putty, you son of a bitch. Why do you call the logging option "All session output" if you don't include binary zeros in the output? Zeros don't count as "all" or what?
Then call the option "All session output without zeros", that would have saved me some time and prevented handing out false data.

It was the first time I worked on a big project with a big team, I looked at the given code and copied their code style.

I finished very fast and everything was working fine, was really proud of myself. I'd like to add some logging though.

Programm failed it was heavily async and parallel so 2 days of debugging had past the whole team was on board nobody knew what went wrong there.

As I stared into the darkness of my code I suddenly saw what went wrong 😂

As I adopted no curly braces style of the Team for

If (condition)
Justine();

And I added logging above without braces everything broke 😂 it was indented properly so as a heavily python user everything looked fine

So I have a script that runs every time I turn on my PC. The script copies a few files to a ftp server in my basement. Forgot to turn off logging....

Opend the file in Notepad, and would you look at that, 1 GB of ram..? WTF?

Edit: Managed to open the file, turns out that it's been exactly one year since I started using the script.

Wow. Can't access a news article in an incognito tab without logging in or subscribing. This happened in Firefox and Chrome in mobile and desktop views on Android.

Just realized that I had this Dev Rant account for years without logging in haha

Still dealing with the web department and their finger pointing after several thousand errors logged.

SeniorWebDev: “Looks like there were 250 database timeout errors at 11:02AM. DBAs might want to take a look.”

I look at the actual exceptions being logged (bulk of the over 1,600 logged errors)..

“Object reference not set to an instance of an object.”

Then I looked the email timestamp…11:00AM. We received the email notification *before* the database timeout errors occurred.

I gather some facts…when the exceptions started, when they ended, and used the stack trace to find the code not checking for null (maybe 10 minutes of junior dev detective work). Send the data to the ‘powers that be’ and carried on with my daily tasks.
I attached what I found (not the actual code, it was changed to protect the innocent)
Couple of hours later another WebDev replied…

WebDev: “These errors look like a database connectivity issue between the web site and the saleitem data service. Appears the logging framework doesn’t allow us to log any information about the database connection.”

FRACK!!...that Fracking lying piece of frack! Our team is responsible for the logging framework. I was typing up my response (having to calm down) then about a minute later the head DBA replies …

DBA: “Do you have any evidence of this? Our logs show no connectivity issues. The logging framework does have the ability to log an extensive amount of data regarding the database transaction. Database name, server, login, command text, and parameter values. Everything we need to troubleshoot. This is the link to the documentation …. If you implement the one line of code to gather the data, it will go a long way in helping us debug performance and connectivity issue. Thank you.”

DBA sends me a skype message “You’re welcome :)”

Ahh..nice to see someone else fed up with their lying bull...stuff.

We are required to use corporate SSO for any authenticated internal websites, and one of the features they require you to implement is a "logout" button.

They provide a whole slew of specifications, including size and placement/visibility, etc. They provide an SSO logout URL you must redirect to after you take care of your own application logout tasks.

Makes sense... except the logout URL they provide to serve the actual SSO logout function broke over 3 months ago, and remains non-functional to this day.

Apparently I'm the first person (and perhaps one of the only people) who reported it, and was told "just not to worry about it".

So, we have a standing feature request to provide a button... that doesn't actually work.

Corporate Security - Making your corporation _appear_ more secure every day...

Me: After 3 days of deliberation, I finally picked a framework, I can jump into the rewrite

*2 hours of inspired coding later

I finished the configuration validation and logging setup! What was that framework again?

Following on from yesterday's catastrophe...
It happened again overnight!
And THEN another server failed when backing up the DBs...turns out 2 websites have activated logging .. each of around 20GB in the database!

So this morning both of our servers are down for different but similar reasons.

It's absolutely fine everybody.
I'm fine,
we're fine,
it's FINE!

Salesforce.

I mean I hate to be a predictable broken record, but it really is the biggest PITA thing I've come across. Proprietary stuff across the board, arbitrary limits, ridiculously tedious to get sane debug logging turned on and boy, if you've ever had to go through their process for listing an app...

Had an internet/network outage and the web site started logging thousands of errors and I see they purposely created a custom exception class just to avoid/get around our standard logging+data gathering (on SqlExceptions, we gather+log all the necessary details to Splunk so our DBAs can troubleshoot the problem).

If we didn't already know what the problem was, WTF would anyone do with 'There was a SQL exception, Query'? OK, what was the exception? A timeout? A syntax error? Value out of range? What was the target server? Which database? Our web developers live in a different world. I don't understand em.

Client: "I cant logging me in"
Me: "Ok do you know your username? "
Client: "yes, off course"
Me:"ok, which password do you use?"
client: "I looked to my colleague... 5 stars"
Me: 🤐😣😯😭😭

I can't believe I've just wasted 2 DAYS of my vacation to properly configure logging in my project...

2 fucking days!!! For something as trivial (yet vital) as logging!!!

FUCK

Finding the right balance between well written, need-one-week, maintainable software, and fast-written, ready-in-2-hours-and-never-look-at-it-again software.

Last time it took me 20 minutes to integrate with a new API. I had a script that did everything you needed. I then spent 2 weeks on handling error responses, unexpected responses, exceptions, intelligent retries, logging, unit tests, integration tests, caching, documentation, etc.

We found a binary string on our Loggly server. It's a PDF file .. the entire PDF file, being sent, to our logging service.

Deleting debugging/logging lines instead of commenting them out, when there is 95% chance that I will need them again

Must say, it's lookin' pretty neat 😉

I dont need DuckDuckGo,
I dont need any VPN
I dont need all of this "Internet Privacy Service" BULLSHIT which my ISP wants me to use,
I DONT NEED ANY OF THIS FUCKING SHIT!
AND I DONT WANT IT EITHER!
I HAVE MY OWN PI HOLE!
AND THATS FUCKING ENOUGH FOR WHAT I NEED! STOP TELLING ME ABOUT ALL THIS "We are clearly not logging your shit" WHILE YOU DO!!
Because I have my own shit!

Thx

Ok, so one of the oldest guy is leaving from my company (on a good note) and he was involved in multiple things in our organization. From having access to almost everything (AWS, Github and owning multiple projects and our legacy code). I am supposed to take KTof one project and man THE CODE IS MESS. YOU DONT PUT A RANDOM NUMBER WHILE CALLING A FUNCTION. You are supposed to define a constant and use that. I've told my manager that I need at least 1 week just to improve logging.

A swedish insurance company has two different solution for logging in to their system.

1. An advanced high security single sign on solution involving active directory, verification of the network the request came from etc etc.

2. Using a link and passing your credentials in the query string!!! Like: insurancecompany.com?username=admin&password=password.

Solution 2 works with admin accounts from anywhere.

Ask me about that one time a motherfucking LOG STATEMENT caused the code to not work properly, breaking both the Test and QA environments, but failed in a way that made it maddening to figure out (in conjunction with the cloud-based hosting environment and the abomination that is centralized logging, which just makes EVERYTHING more difficult).

Actually, DON'T ask me about it, because it was today, it wasted most of my day, and I'm still salty as fuck about it.

I don't understand how people can write code, but be completely inept at developing software.

Take a zoom feature:

SOLUTION 0:
- Use 2 buttons
- Use 2 button listeners
- Use 2 float variables (for each button).
- Don't log anything.
- Use 3 crazy, hardcoded, constant, int literals like 66, 30...
- both buttons manipulate the same text field.
- no logging.
- Both listeners use if/else to check if the variable is within a range -- one if/else for each listener.
- Use crazy method calls to get text size.

SOLUTION 1:
- Use a slider.
- Use a single listener.
- No variables needed.
- Use a linear equation for zooming.
- has logging.

Goes back to high school.....

Me: This laptop is having issues logging into the network. I have tried restarting as well as restarting the WiFi. You probally should submit a ticket so IT knows it is broken.
Teacher: They would not fix it anyway.
Me: *facepalm*

TL;DR: Teacher thinks that telling IT to fix a computer would result in nothing happening.

Was logging in my student account to check whether the system actually registered my admission and here I go.

And this is not just some college. This is a website every engineering student shall use throughout the country.

Also this is not the first time this happened.

Last year I planned to start a startup. I've started many good things but not the startup yet.

* A new data format
* A new data type
* A new web framework
* A new concept for logging
* And many other opensource tools and libraries

We receive an email from Splunk when errors go above a certain threshold, and a particular service has been especially problematic this week (throwing hundreds of exceptions). Email response from the team mgr responsible for the service.

"We are working to address these errors. We don’t currently have a way to prevent a user who’s account is locked from logging into the service and performing work."

The exception? NullReferenceException: Object reference not set to an instance of an object.

The code? (paraphrasing)

var user = GetUser(request.Login);
if (user.CanPerformWork) ...

<facepalm>

I'm doing my best not to reply .."Really? No way? You do realize we can read code, right?"

Yay! My first bash project :D
disclaimer - my bash is not pretty. yet.

Why I created it?
I encountered several footlong scripts in a new project at work. And they had no logging. And I am in charge of making it sing again. So here it is a tiny logging framework.

A set of common utilities for node.js, things like better logging, password hashing

In a call with the big boss of the huge company I'm working for:

HER: Yeah, this MUST be in the next release or we better not even release

She's talking about a fucking carousel to let the user know its stuff has been merged, I get the point! It's important, but do you fucking realize that the user is currently NOT EVEN LOGGING IN?

HOW TF IS YOUR PROBLEM WHAT THEY SEE ONCE INSIDE THE PLATFORM IF THEY CAN'T EVEN LOG THE FUCK IN?

FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH JUST SAYING WHAT HAS TO BE DONE AND THEN PRENTEDING SHIT TO ACTUALLY WORK PROPERLY

Other staff: I’m having trouble logging in to website A. My password doesn’t work.

[Me thinking: That’s weird. When I set up your account, the password worked. I told you to change it. So maybe you forgot your new password. We haven’t changed anything to about the login process.]

Me: I reset your password. [sends new password]

Other Staff: The new password doesn’t work. But I can log in with Google.

Me: 😶 Website A does not have sign in with Google. What website are you actually on???

You are a developer and you will only log time you're actually working. This means you will not be logging time spent in meetings, chasing for specs, requirement clarifications and similar. You must log 8 hours each day.

^^-- wtf?!? Is anyone else working in similar conditions?

Unreal Engine adventures:
me: So ok, I need a map from int to String
Unreal: ya but it's called TMap, FCompactPoseBoneIndex and FName.
me: ..uhhh ok whatever
...
me: ok for debugging, please print this
Unreal: FName is not a string
me: k. Fname.toString().
Unreal: ya but it aint a TChar array now
...
IT'S A FKING STRING JUST PRINT IT. And the other guy is still an int with extra steps! Come the fuck on now....
I mean, honestly, a logging function that cannot print a fking FString? sigh...
Man, I miss python and blender...

You know its a good end of the work week, when you feel compelled to mention the Geneva convention in your last PR before logging off :)

I hate:
- Enterprise patterns
- Enterprise type programming
- Dependency hell
- Logging hell
- Proxy hell
- Debugging hell

That will be all.

They've been in a meeting with some clients the whole morning.
12PM, time for me to go. Say Happy New Year and am on my way home.
12:20 Got home, took shirt off, got something to eat from the fridge.
12:22 Bit the first slice of pizza. Phone rings.
- "Yo' we wanted to show them app 2 but I can't log in."
+ "I left the laptop (and the whole dev environment) there, and there's no PC on in my house (and no dev environment whatsoever)."
- "Well check with your phone. [SIC] Tell me when you fix it."
12:32 I had turned my personal computer on; checked the problem was what I imagined (unpkg lib with no version defined on the link had a new major/non-retrocompatible version); grabbed an online FTP tool; remembered IP, user & password; edited the single line that caused the problem; and checked it worked. Calling back.
+ "It's fixed."
- "Thanks!"
12:38 CEO sent me an image of the app not working, due to a known bug.
+ "That happens if you try to access app 1 having accessed app 2 and not logging off." (app 2 isn't being used / sold, as it's still in development) "Try logging off and logging in again from app 1."
- * radio silence *
+ * guess they could get in *

They had the whole freaking morning. 😠
I'm the hero CMMi's level one warns you about. But at what cost.
Happy early New Year's Eve everyone.

A service had/has been logging hundreds of errors in the development environment and I reached out to the owning process mgr that the error was occurring and perhaps a good opportunity to log additional data to help troubleshoot the issue if the problem ever made its way to production. He responded saying the error was related to a new feature they weren't going to implement in the backing dev database (TL;DR), and they know it works in production (my spidey sense goes off).
They deployed the changes to production this morning and immediately starting throwing errors (same error I sent)
Mgr messaged me a little while ago "Did you make any changes to the documentation service? We're getting this error .."

50% sure someone misspelled something in a config, but only thing they are logging is 'Unable to parse document'. Nothing that indicates an issue with the service they're using.

Supervisor: YOU NEED TO INCREASE THE COVERAGE OF YOUR UNIT TESTS! THE FILE logger.js DOESN'T HAVE >80% COVERAGE! IMAGINE PICKING THIS UP 6 MONTHS FROM NOW!

Bro. It's a Winston instance.
I am literally exporting a fucking Winston instance with 0 custom logic.
If 6 months from now I take a file and can't understand a Winston instance anymore, you're well within your right to fire me on the spot.

Jeez maybe it's just me, not a very smart user, but after at least 6 years with iPhone5, just before changing it, I discovered how to raise the volume without logging in the phone first:

I press the home button, Siri show up, and THEN the fucking raise/lower audio buttons are working.

6 years typing the fucking pin just to raise the volume.
6 fucking years missing notifications and calls just because I forgot the fucking volume on the lower tone. Almost lost a girlfriend for that.

What a great login page:
{"message":"Error logging in."}

When working on a project first create a good error logging feature

I’ve spent 2 weeks trying to simply automate logging into my damn school’s blackboard but this ducking popup won’t freaking let me access it. I’ve tried selenium. I’ve used beautifulsoup and requests. I’ve even tried a tool called mechanize with python
But I’ve now realized I simply have no damn idea what I’m doing. I’ve read and tried way too many stack overflow articles and I’m just sick of this damn popup

If I can’t figure it out by the end of the upcoming thanksgiving break I’m dropping this damn project until I learn enough to utilize the blackboard API’s. I’m a little sure those will help

Docker's encapsulation is amazing! I don't have to know anything about networking to get a swarm running with some demo services all talking to each other and central logging and... oh I fucked something up... better read about networking so I know what I broke

Time logging in multiple applications that takes so long you have to log that time too!

I am building my portfolio website and added a contact section. In the API call to the backend, I am logging potential API failures to Firebase Analytics. Is it ethical to include the request data (content of the contact form) in log data?

Broke: logging into GitHub to pull changes from a private repo

Woke: changing the repo from private to public, pulling unauthenticated, and then changing back to private.

I can't login ffs
I don't care that it shows an impossible number of characters honestly, but I don't get why that should prevent me from logging in to any of these servers

For that matter, why the fuck is number of characters a signed int?

Spent hours troubleshooting an internal app that had zero logging today. It would just terminate, no exceptions, no feedback to the debugger, NOTHING.

Turned out to be the damn corporate virus scanner blocking "malicious" behaviour. Good thing my desk is so heavy or I woulda flipped it...

Helpdesk: We can't figure out our own ambigious error message, you should solve it in another way...

Me: I see in the console that I get an execption response with an ID, you must be logging these exceptions, can't you check those?

Me thinking: you've just reduced yourself to desk without the help part

2 hour meeting to brainstorm ideas to improve our system health monitoring (logging, alerting, monitoring, and metrics)

Never got past the alerting part. Piss poor excuses for human being managers kept 'blaming' our logging infrastructure for allowing them to log exceptions as 'Warnings', purposely by-passing the alerting system.

Then the d-head tried to 'educate' everyone the difference between error and exception …frack-wad…the difference isn't philosophical…shut up.

The B manager kept referring to our old logging system (like we stopped using it 5 years ago) and if it were written correctly, the legacy code would be easier to migrate. Fracking lying B….shut the frack up.

The fracking idiots then wanted to add direct-bypass of the alerting system (I purposely made the code to bypass alerting painful to write)

Mgr1: "The only way this will work is if you, by default, allow errors to bypass the alerting system. When all of our code is migrated, we'll change a config or something to enable alerting. That shouldn't be too hard."
Me: "Not going to happen. I made by-passing the alert system painful on purpose. If I make it easy, you'll never go back and change code."
Mgr2: "Oh, yes we will. Just mark that method as obsolete. That way, it will force us to fix the code."
Me: "The by-pass method is already obsolete and the teams are already ignoring the build warnings."
Mgr1: "No, that is not correct. We have a process to fix all build warnings related to obsolete methods."
Mgr2: "Yes. It won't be like the old system. We just never had time to go back and fix that code."
Me: "The method has been obsolete for almost a year. If your teams haven't fixed their code by now, it's not going to be fixed."
Mgr1: "You're expecting everything to be changed in one day. Our code base is way too big and there are too many changes to make. All we are asking for is a simple change that will give us the time we need to make the system better. We all want to make the system better…right?"
Me: "We made the changes to the core system over two years ago, and we had this same conversation, remember? If your team hasn't made any changes by now, they aren't going to. The only way they will change code to the new standard is if we make the old way painful. Sorry, that's the truth."
Mgr2: "Why did we make changes to the logging system? Why weren't any of us involved? If there were going to be all these changes, our team should have been part of the process."
Me: "You were and declined every meeting and every attempt to include your area. Considering the massive amount of infrastructure changes there was zero code changes required by your team. The new system simply worked. You can't take advantage of the new features which is why we're here today. I'm here to offer my help in any way I can with the transition."
Mgr1: "The new logging doesn't support logging of the different web page areas. Until you can make that change, we can't begin changing our code."
Me: "Logging properties is just a name+value pair dictionary. All you need to do is standardize on a name and how you add it to the collection."
Mgr2: "So, it's not a standard field? How difficult would it be to change the core assembly? This has to be standard across all our areas and shouldn't be up to the developers to type in anything they want."
- Frack wads smile and nod to each other like fracking chickens in a feeding frenzy
Me: "It can, but what will you call this property? What controls its value?"
- The look I got from both the d-bags I could tell a blood vessel popped.
Mgr1: "Oh…um….I don't know…Area? Yea … Area."
Mgr2: "Um…that's not specific enough. How about Page?"
Mgr1: "Well, pages can cross different areas, and areas cross different pages…what do you think?"
Me: "Don't know, don't care. It's up to you. I just need a name."
Mgr2: "Modules! Our MVC framework is broken up in Modules."
DevMgr: "We already have a field for Module. It's how we're segmenting the different business processes"
Mgr1: "Doesn't matter, we'll come up with a name later. Until then, we won't make any changes until there is a name."
DevMgr: "So what did we accomplish?"
Me: "That we need to review the web's logging and alerting process and make sure we're capturing errors being hidden as warnings."
Mgr1: "Nooo….we didn't accomplish anything. This meeting had no agenda and no purpose. We should have been included in the logging process changes from day one."
Mgr2: "I agree, I'm not sure why we're here"
Me: "This was a brainstorming meeting as listed in the agenda. We've accomplished 2 of the 4 items. I think we've established your commitment to making the system better. Thank you all for coming."

- Mgr1 and 2 left without looking at me or saying a word.

I made Skype Bot which queries the data using wsdl authentication on our ticketing tool and send the data whoever has requested in skype itself(without logging or touching the ticketing tool).

Manager: Is that even possible?

Me: (In excitement) Everything is possible if you have the will.

Now, He wants me to work on his pet project. I dont know how to react!

Once I implemented a giant ASCII skull for logging a fatal error in the company's app. Let's just say my feature did not get to production.

Microsoft and their dev tools...

> Trying to login to Azure VM
> Get an error, saying that password needs to be changed before logging in the first time
> Head over to Azure portal, try resetting password
> Password reset is not successful. Reason: Account already exists (???)
> Google the error message. Found solution (coming from a Microsoft employee!): Create a new user, login with that, fix the password for user #1 inside the VM, then delete the new user

What's wrong with these people? 😂

At NYU doctor's office that forces me to register a temp account to use their WiFi.

I get an email saying my medical records have changed so I try logging into the site to check.

Site can't be accessed on the network..,

Yesterday, I put the final touches on a massive system using hundreds of classes, with thousands of lines of code, all easily maintained because of the way I used abstract classes, and coding to an interface, stubs, etc. And all instantiated with a near english fluent api. With detailed logging and even contacts me when there's problems, result of a year's work. I felt like a genius

Today, this fucking simple contact form that won't do what I want it to for the past 4 hours...

Logging into my school website when... WHY DO YOU USE 🤬 FRNCH FOR BOOLEAN IN THE URL M🤬F

Ok, I know this is a francophone college, but come on!

Developer just emailed our team a complaint that our logging assembly was resulting in their poor test coverage and they sent a change request to give them the ability to mock the underlying log provider (ex. from the event log to ‘something else’).

Looked at their tests, and they are testing whether or not the .Log was executed (on an exception, if the .Log method was not executed, the test failed), which seemed a bit worthless because we’ve already got coverage in our unit tests.
We had a meeting to discuss the issue.
Me: “I’m OK with changing the logging code if it’s necessary, but I want to understand why.”
DevA: “Logging errors is crucial to the database transaction. If someone removes the logging, the tests should fail.”
Me: “If someone removes the error logging on purpose, then they likely have an agenda and will remove the test validation too. It wouldn’t be an accident.”
DevA: “That’s not my problem. They will have to deal with HR.”
Me: “We purposely prevented someone from intercepting the logging just for that purpose. Your test code already covers the business rule, testing the logging seems out of place. That would like writing a test to make sure the System.IO.File.ReadAllText actually reads all the text from a file. You kinda assume a few smart Microsoft engineers already wrote tests for that.”
DevA: “Yea, I guess that would be silly.”

Got cc’ed an email a little bit ago from DevA to his boss..
“We’re not going to be able to change logging assembly. This may have some impact on our overall test coverage as those lines of code will not get testing coverage. You will have to let the DevMgr know we will not meet our test coverage goals.”

WTF!

Why must I as a man, fill out a time sheet for someone I could simply kill in nature?

I spent 2 hours on Python logging system instead of doing real data science.
Really this module feels poorly designed.

Spotted a new feature that had just recently being completed: "Disable all Logging due to noise". What.

Us on the Ops team just died a bit inside...

You know a server is having a jolly'ol time when, while logging through the serial console, it lags... Then, a few seconds later, you get a message

[time.seconds] Out of memory: Kill process PID (login) score 0 or sacrifice child
[time.seconds] Killed process PID (login) total-vm:65400kB, anon-rss:488kB, file-rss:0kB

10/10, only way to bring the server back to life was by a hard-reset :|

They call it security questions.
I call it social engineering backdoor.

I'm supposed to enter those questions after logging into my account and I'm not able to skip it nor to set a proper two factor method.

Well, fuck you. Did you ever thought about dying by a two factor method? Ever watched a Saw movie? You got the idea.

One of my colleagues just tried to deny a buggy code change was his on the grounds that the new code contains logging and he never uses logging.

Logging literally everything from every service into one giant super log db for us to sift through.

It is expensive, it is stupid, and it is set to .info() level always forever no exceptions.

Why doesn't Twitter have a public API without authentication for simple stuff, such as reading tweets. One can do that without logging in on the website, why shouldn't code be able to do it.

I like my log messages to indicate automatically where in the code something happened, so that I can easily identify where a message originated from while tracking down problems.

In C/C++ this is nice and easy - write a logging routine, wrap it in macros for the different log levels and have that automatically output __FILE__, __LINE__ etc.

I wanted to do something similar in NodeJS, as I'd found myself manually writing the file name in the log message and then splitting functionality out into new files and it became a mess.

The only way I found to be able to do this was to create an "Error" object and access the "stack" member of it. This is a string containing a stack backtrace, suitable for writing to console/file. I just wanted the filename/line/routine.

So I ended up splitting the string into lines, then for each of the lines, trimming the surrounding spaces (or tabs?), and parsing them to see if the stack entry is inside my logger module. The first entry outside of that module must therefore be the thing that called it, so I then parse out the routine or object and method, filename and line number.

It's a lot of clumsy work but the output is pretty neat. I just wish it were simpler!

Setting the log level to wtf is insurance that if it compiles, your app is guaranteed to work.

If you think parametised queries will save the day think again.

I occasionally test sites I visit throwing a few quotes at inputs and query params.

I also always test logging in as % with user or pass.

Not only are plaintext passwords a thing but so is this:

WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?.

Once I saw an OR.

Ran the build today 4:30 and found out our grunt file is missing some pretty critical error checks without even logging a warning. A dependency was unavailable and it was pushed to production. The site was down for 30+ minutes.

I needed to log in on a website in someone else's pc and didn't know the password by heart. I thought I'd log into chrome, if I log out later, what could go wrong right?

Apparently, a lot. It facking merged my bookmarks, history and passwords with hers! And she had shitloads of them! It took me facking hours to clean up the mess chrome created. I trust her, but I still didn't want her to have my passwords etc.

Omg I'm never logging into chrome again elsewhere, what a frustrating facking waste of time

Nobody can help you now...

React Native developers:

Is it normal for the Expo app to suddenly go blank and stop working for no apparent reason, without showing any errors or logging anything? It happens all the time since I started using it and it's extremely frustrating

"Let's just add a logging system to our dependency"
No. You fucking idiot. DON'T INCLUDE A CUSTOM LOGGING SYSTEM INTO A DEPENDENCY FOR IMAGE MANIPULATION. I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT LOGGING WHEN I'M FUCKING HANDLING IT MYSELF FOR MY ALREADY EXISTING SOFTWARE!! HOW DUMB CAN YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER BE TO TELL ME TO JUST "IGNORE" THE MESSAGES IN THE CONSOLE WHEN I'M BUILDING A FUCKING CLI BASED SOFTWARE??!!

No your nested if statements dont make an ai the same way logging into a txt is not machine learning

Existing code:
Logger class would block the caller, lock a mutex, call CreateFile(), write a single line to the file, unlock the mutex and return.

Improvement:
Added two logging queues and created a thread that will periodically lock one queue and write it to the disk, around 500 entries at a time, while new entries are being inserted into the other queue. Kinda like a bed pan or urine bottle. While emptying one bottle, the logs go into the other one. Added fatal exception handlers so that the log queues are dumped when the application is crashing. When the exception handler is triggered, logging method does not return so that the application STOPS working to make sure there are no "not logged" activities.

I dont understand the Log4j vulnerability.

Isnt the ability to execute code a feature they added so that you can add dynamic data to the logs?

If it is a feature then isnt it written in the documentation?

Is the problem that a lot of companies forgot to sanitize the input before logging it?

In appraisal discussion,

Boss : Give me good reason why should we give you 30% appraisal!!!

Employee ( After logging into prod machine) : I am going to quit this job 😅😅

Just got handed a dozen servers. Documentation shows a (Linux) database cluster is using ldap authentication. I try logging in with my creds. No joy. I look up the root password and log in.

Not only is it not configured to use ldap, it's also not clustered.

I need more coffee.

In my previous rant i complained about no irregular sprite collision detection libraries.

So after messing up with curves and line in p5.js I gave up on creating the fish like a complete caveman.

I wrote a simple vector paint program which can return the set of points on console logging, and here is the result

Bunyan

Bunyan is a simple and fast JSON logging library for node.js services

Server logs should be structured. JSON's a good format. Let's do that. A log record is one line of JSON.stringify'd output. Let's also specify some common names for the requisite and common fields for a log record.

Windows is so magical. I mean it doesn't support syslog which is in a way essential in large environments. Today my coworker told me about a tool named nxlog which has the function to send log messages from windows directly to a central syslog server. It can also read files... well theoretical because nxlog does not accept ":" as a valid character... cya C:\something

At my last place we launched a new payment page and added logging.

Who ever set the logging up didn't obfuscate the user card details and stored them in the db for anyone with access to see. :-O

Look, a nice puzzle. Solve it and win great prizes!

1. _________ (7 letters) - A C++ output stream class commonly used to send output to the console.
2. _________ (3 letters) - A past tense verb, often used in logging or indicating a completed task.
3. _________ (3 letters) - A negation commonly used in boolean logic or programming conditions.
4. _________ (6 letters) - A command or function that removes an object, file, or memory allocation in programming.
5. _________ (7 letters) - In object-oriented programming, a term referring to an instance acting upon itself.

Figured out the root cause of slow code by using a profiler in an afternoon (more like an hour but needed to confirm/investigate)...

Team spent over a week trying to figure it out using logging and debugging...

Even after I told them to use a profiler...

Guess now I've justified my position of being the highest paid dev on the team.

I just know how to use other tools besides a hammer.

Finally managed to get my CNN working with proper tensorboard logging. Think I'm starting to understand how it works.

But it got overfitted...

Logging work in Jira, because it goes against the whole ethos of trusting people to get the work done when they have to log exactly how much time they spent on each individual story. It also doesnt account for pair programming. so 2 people log the same time and it looks like the story took twice as long. I’ll stop now because I’m precariously close to opening the “time based estimates” can of worms and thats for another rant.

This rant is about myself and anyone whos like me: using logs over a debugger

So, sometimes when I wanna quick check something or make sure, if and when something get's executed or I've ran into a Problem, I add a few log/print statements to check in console.

But I don't think about proper and helpful messages, since they aren't supposed to stay in code. So I often type what comes in my mind, like memes or song lyrics.

The last time this became a huge act, was Code review/ Prototype demonstration with Clients (which I didn't knew about, otherwise I would have removed them, I swear) and Boss and my Code printed "show bob and va...", "send nudes" and stuff... in loop... to stdout

Half of my code is logging to the console.

When older family members have entire notebooks dedicated to logging obscure, easily-hackable passwords, but then download any app in the world that promises to "make your phone run like new!" (by using 30MB more RAM on God-knows how much malware)
We aren't doing a good job of educating people if anyone we know can fall victim to those kinds of hackneyed procedures and snake-oil apps. It's almost painful to watch, and have to be the bad guy by telling someone dear to me they've been making things worse for themselves because of a seemingly harmless app that they were almost proud of.

Super brilliant idea for Windows: when logging on with a password that is only slightly mistyped, or with the consecutively appended number from the previous month, it should still be accepted. So much more usability - Microsoft just cannot reject that!

The real life of me as a trainee developer:

New system works locally but fails to work in production and dev.

Proceeds at futile attempts to debug for hours to find out that my connection strings in the transforms were nested inside logging.

Had Arduino for months, couldn't get MPU6050 working, because of a lack of time and other stuff. (Need it for long term college project, data logging blah blah)
Gave it to project teammate to figure it out, who hates even touching hardware, BTW.

He figures it out in an hour (adjusting baud rate for supply voltage)
I feel like a complete idiot.
🙁

This morning, I was logging in on the site I was working on without problem.

After lunch, I couldn't log in. No reason why.

Then I found out why. Someone modified the login in database, and warned everyone.

Everyone except the ones that are working on the website (me and my team).

Spent the weekend geeking out getting my head around a proper Docker based environment for my development env at home and for the team... 90% done and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't start my Splunk instance up.... I'd set the default logging to Splunk.... Chicken & Egg probs!

But how awesome is docker with portainer and app templates eh?!

The creator of this library logs error which makes me feel like a Shaolin Monk reading a scroll...

I shall now head towards that direction. Thank you master Shiva 🙏

>closes laptop to let it cool down at 5:10PM
>5 minutes later, boots back up on its own and doesn't go back to sleep
>opening and logging back in
"We have an important update for you planned for 5:30PM"
OH NO YOU DON'T, you fucker!

Shit like this makes me wanna call Windows the McDonald's of operating systems.

My companys custom logging library is not thread safe and has problems with multiple instances of the endproduct as well.

Bruh, imagine paying taxes for a site that literally throws a cryptic error message, instead of telling you "Page not found", because those retards literally redirect to /Account/Login after successfully logging in.

Even better, most people here are don't understand English well enough to understand what is going on.

And I pretty much doubt an admin has been informed...

Why the FUCK is my VPN logging me out after a certain time. Its not like that I have to drive +4h to some remote location fix it when it cucks up at the wrong moment!

Who here does time tracking/logging/whatever? More importantly, is forced to do so!

Boss: I don't want centralized error logging

Me: But we have 50+ client sites running the same web app, why the fuck wouldn't we?

Boss: What if the database is offline, then we wouldn't be able to log exceptions

Me: *beats head against desk*

A large pool of application instances' is writing logs to the same physical file. No way to distinguish which instance wrote which line.

Welcome to hell

We're being asked questions. We're replying that we cannot help unless logging is fixed. Noone's bothering to fix this mess and instead returns tickets with requests to investigate more.

F.U.N
/s

Apple added medicine logging feature.

Do you know how they tell you you should take your medicine? It’s “It’s time to log in your medications”. It’s not “take your meds now”. Otherwise, imagine those lawsuits, ooga booga iphone told me to take meds and I died.

Spent hours trying to connect to a remote desktop using RDP, it was logging from win 7 but gives error with win 10.
Later, I discovered the solution was to add the computer name before the username!!!!

computername/username

Main branch running locally - fine
Main branch locally connected to QA dB - fine
Main branch on QA server with QA dB - NOPE

OK - build main locally, push to QA server - fine
WTF.jpg
Main build by build server, push to QA - nope

Rebuild QA vm and dB - build main, push to QA - nope

Turn on full server logging - PASS.

MAXIMUM WHAT

Microsoft certsrv is returning UTF-8 on the authorization error page but UTF-16 when logging in via basic auth...

Debugged this for 2 hours today to parse the response correctly. Thanks Microsoft