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Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*
Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.25 -
*Builds a web component for a client website*
CLIENT: I don't like it, can I have it a tiny bit over to the right more
ME: Taps the arrow key a few times making it look like I'm doing something.(Which actually does nothing)
Client: 👌Perfect
😂😂😂 Wut 😂😂😂19 -
My brother and I were checking out this new restaurant that had opened up recently. As we enter,
I inadvertently blurt out, "Hey! This place has a nice UI!"
Brother - "Wut?"
Me - "Ambience, I meant ambience."16 -
She: Uuggrrr.. You did it again
Me: What
She: Stop opening the dev tools
Me: Oh sorry
She: Leave me alone with your laptop.
10 min later
Me: What did you change?
She: I tried to remove the dev tools by changing the dragged position to a negative value in chromes config files.
Me: wow.
She: Didn't work.
Me: Hehe, nice try though
*opens chrome*
Me: wut.
She: *chuckles*
- Light pink theme
- 500% zoom
- Font size changed
- Some virus search engine (my search?)
- deleted some plugins
- start page randomcolour.org (or color? (<- me css freak))16 -
Today we got the following (approximately, don't remember it literally) error message on a windows server:
Please turn on your computer. Updates can't be installed while your system is turned off.
Genuinely; de WUT?!10 -
Just a little bit of venting from me (written in GT for speed):
>be me
>apply for a programming job at a local company
>interviewer says that he's impressed with my resume and says that he'll call me
>one week later
>"hey anon, drop by our office, you're hired!"
>hot diggity damn!
>papers say that it's a help desk job
>"oh don't worry about it, it's just that we don't have a programming sector yet"
>wtf the job offer was for programmers but w/e a job is a job is a job
>start working there. Really mineal shit like fixing entries on SQL, resetting modems, etc.
>decide to write a couple of scripts for more mechanical tasks such as gathering .xml for the accountant
>everything is peaches and gravy
>one day the boss calls me into his office
>"hey anon, you're fired!"
>ask him why
>tells me my coworkers ratted me out on the scripts, says that I'm cheating on the job
>ni🅱️🅱️a wut???
>try to explain myself to him but he won't listen
>get fired after 4 months of being the most productive member of the team
That serves me right for trying to be good at my shitty ass job. Oh well.14 -
A fresh graduate software engineer applied to the company and passed the coding exam.
Manager: Wow you got a very high score. Good job.
Applicant: Thank you sir. So am I hired?
Manager: Yes of course. You will be the team lead for one of the project.
Applicant: Wait wut????8 -
IT Manager: What kind if attachment did you send me in that email?
Me: A .zip?
IT Manager: ...?
Me: A zip file? Zipped Folder?
IT Manger: ...?
Me: Umm... the data file you needed has to be sent in a zip folder because 6 different file types combine to make it? Just download the .zip and extract?
IT Manager: I don't know how to extract the files?
Me: ...14 -
Me - Lately, been working on Node.js, its fun.
Friend - Oh but it doesnt scale well, I hate that language.
Me - why do you think so? and its a VM, JS is the language.
Friend - Cos it doesnt scale, i heard from others.
Me - wut.
I fucking hate people who fucking blindly hate a technology / programming language.
Motherfuck, whats with these idiots blindly hating languages?
Every lang has its own use cases, why cant these twats understand that.
You use a tech as per needs, its not a fucking make-up.7 -
Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.
New Dev: Sure. Thanks.
*a few minutes later*
New Dev: How to comment a code?
Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.11 -
This rant means YOU if you are one of those people that "fix" their family's computers.
I was visiting my family over the holidays and while I managed to stay away from fixing their computers for the most time, I offered to help my grandfather to update the Garmin navigation device he wanted to gift my father. (They do not use smartphones for navigation, and my father doesn't want "these modern shitty phones".)
When booting up my grandfather's laptop, I realized something odd: Linux Mint boot screen. Wut?
And immediately I said: "It could be impossible to update your navigation device on this laptop."
As true enough, the Garmin Express update software requires either a Windows PC or a Mac; and even though I vaguely hoped it might be possible to upgrade through Linux, I just could not be bothered to find out that day.
What I wondered though is why did my grandfather of all people ran Linux!?
Don't get me wrong, I use Linux myself on my work machine and I never want to work with something else when coding; yet my grandfather is an end user of the show-me-where-and-what-and-how-often-to-click-kind.
What could he gain by it?
As it turns out, the computer nerd's friend of my uncle managed his PC. And my uncle and he decided unanimously my grandfather should better run Linux. Is it something my grandfather needs? No. BUT IT'S RIGHT! Suck it up! (My father's laptop therefore also runs Linux Mint. So he can't upgrade his new device either.)
This is the ugly kind of entitled nerd-dom I truly detest.
When discussing things further, my grandfather told me that he had problems ever since with his printer. Under Windows, he knew how to print on the special photo paper. Under Linux, all he can barely manage is to print on normal papers. Shame, printing photos was the only thing he liked doing on that device. What did my uncle's friend tell him?
"Get a decent printer!"
Fuck that guy.
It's fine if Linux works for you, but before you install it on a PC of a relative, you better make sure it fits their needs! If you have that odd member that only wants to write letters, read emails, use facebook, and wants to play that browser game, feel free to introduce them to Linux.
Yet if they have any special wish, don't stand in their way.
If they want to do something that requires a certain OS, don't just decide for them that their desire is wrong, but help them achieve their goal. If you can't align that with your ideology, then get the fuck out of my way and stop "helping".
For some people, a computer is a device to achieve a certain goal, a work. They only get hindered by your ill-advised attempts at virtue signalling.9 -
I consider myself a web developer for over 7 years.
Today, I learnt that http features a HEAD request.
Wut.5 -
lol what? My company offers $5k for referring full time employees... and $10k for referring female technologists.
As a female software engineer, makes me deeply uncomfortable.14 -
Scrum:
Boss to designer: sadly the green logo was not chosen and we will go with the purple one.
D: oh good choice, but why green was discarded?
B: green is not enough criptocurrency related.
Me: in my mind: how a color is crypto related... What wut? Procceed to do weird faces, twitch and spasm while I try to sort this out.
Boss see me and beat me (gently!) with an inflatable chicken.
Guys. Green is not crypto.18 -
So, a friend of mine just called me and asked what is it that I do in programming, and if I knew Java, because her stepfather owns a company, and they're currently hiring. Since she's not a tech person, I answered "basically, websites", but the stepfather was asking something else in the background, and she couldn't understand what the heck he was saying, so she put me on the phone with him.
I then explained, I do all kinds of web related stuff, from simple HTML single page sites, to WordPress themes and whatever, so I know PHP, Javascript, and all that crap.
And then, he asks me this wonderful question:
"And programming languages... ?", as in "do you know any?"
... I was like... Wut?...
I mean, I see where he's coming from. He probably meant compiled languages or something, but still... I felt like screaming at him "WEB DEVELOPERS ARE REAL PROGRAMMERS AND DESERVE SOME LOVE TOO YOU KNOW?! 😢"
I decided to go with a "nah, not compiled languages, no..."19 -
Our college has PC's with Pentium Core 2 Duo processors and 1 GB RAM. We are made to code Java on windows using default notepad and cmd. There's nothing more infuriating than that.
Me: Ma'am, can we use any IDE for our mini project or finals?
She: No kid, you can't just use that. This is code you have to write it.
Me: Wut?7 -
*me reading @Alice 's cake recipe
"biscuits violently dismembered"
"dark as our souls."
"slowly and painfully molten butter"
"press your victim tightly against it"
"before it freezes to death"
"Put it into the oven and torture your victim"
"so it fills the hole in its heart"
Well... Wut. Da. Frigging. Heck. I've. Just. Read.8 -
Accidentally Click on .doc file in File Manager
Microsoft word starts to open it
I press cancel.
Word- Attempting to cancel ....
And then opens it anyway.
Me - Wut?5 -
Yesterday I had to ask a classmate what the arguments of a method were (no documentation).
He said: "Uhmm it doesn't matter in which order you put the arguments into the method?"
No more to say.5 -
I pressed the up arrow 15+ times,
to get to a 3-character alias,
of a 7-character command.
WTF is wrong with me !?4 -
My first job was not exactly a job but a freelance project. The guy that I delivered the website to thought that I'd charge money each time I pressed a key on my laptop when we met.
Had to explain to the guy that that's not how it works. That's not how any of it works.4 -
Lol these dumbasses actually think I'm smart. They have no idea that I just always have the same problem the day before them and I found an answer just before they ask me.4
-
Your phone/laptop is on 5%
After it dies you can never recharge it, and you can never get another (all technology is dieing)
What do you do?40 -
Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?
Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...
Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.
Dev : ugh......7 -
Ladies and gentleman, I've done it.
Remove your hacker game trophies from your wall.
That nasty bug you fixed a couple of nights ago? Meh.
Your top devRant post? You'll delete it after reading this.
Every awesome accomplishment you can think of: it all means shit now.
>> I have SUCCESSFULLY changed my business Microsoft account password into something I can remember AND Microsoft accepted it in under an hour of trying!!!!! <<
I want to say a big FUCK YOU to MICROSOFT for WASTING MY BLOODY TIME.
FUCK YOU for giving me a max of 16 characters. DASB&(*(&G*HH*& for telling me every time my password is 100% strength and then after every submit tell me I have to change it AGAIN because it should be harder to guess. WUT?! It was 16 characters including a (capital) letter, number and multiple special characters, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! UNICODE EMOJI'S???!!! ALLOW ME TO USE MORE CHARACTERS SO I WILL MAKE IT HARDER TO GUESS IT, IT'S 2018 FFS.
I don't even understand why my new password is accepted compared to the other one, but fuck it I can access my account again.
Now I might have to find a new job before the company password policy kicks in again.
/me drops everything and walks out of the office to get wasted (not sure if celebrating or just really pissed off)7 -
Came across a gem today...part of a stored procedure that sits under our erp software. This explains a lot
7 -
Today was a manic-depressive kind of day. Spent the morning helping some developers with getting their code to run a stored procedure to drop old partitions, but it wasn't working on their end. It was a fairly simple proc. But working with partitions is a little like working with an array. I figured out that they were passing the wrong timestamp, and needed to add +1 to delete the right partition. Got that sorted out, and things were good. Lunch time.
After lunch I did some busy work, and then the PO comes up at about 2PM and says he's assigned some requests to me. The first was just attaching some scripts. Easy. The second, the user wants a couple of schemas exported ... at 6PM. I've been in the office since 6:45AM.
While I'm setting up some commands to run for the data export, a BA walks up and asks if I'm filling in for another DBA who is out for a few weeks. Yep. There's a change request that hasn't been assigned, and he normally does the work. I ask when it's due. Well, the pre-implementation was supposed to be done in the morning, but it wasn't, and we're in the implementation window ... half way through. I bring up the change task, and look at. Create new schema and users. That's all it says. The BA laughs. I tell I need more to go on. 10 minutes later he sends an email with the information. There's only two hours left in the window, and I can only use half of it, because the production guys have to their stuff, and we're in their window. Now I'm irritated, because I'm new to Oracle, and it's an unforgiving mistress. Fortunately, another DBA says he'll do it, so that we can get it done in time. But can't work it either, because Dev DBAs don't have access to QA, and the process required access for this task. Gets shelved until the access issue is resolved. It's now after 4:15PM. I'm going to in traffic with that 6PM deadline.
I manage to get home and to the computer by 5:45PM. Log in. Start VPN. Box pops on screen. Java needs to update. I chose skip update. Box pops up again. It won't let me log in until Java is current. Passed.
I finally get logged in, and it's 6:10PM. I'm late getting the job started. I pull up Putty and log into the first box, and paste my pre-prepared command in the command line and hit error. Command not found. I'm tired, so it's a moment to sink in. I don't have time for this.
I log into DBArtisan and pull up the first data base, use the wizard to set the job, and off it goes. Yay. Bring up the second database, and have enter the connect info. Host not found. Wut? Examine host name. Yep, it's correct. Try a different method. Host not found. Go back to Putty. Log in. Past string. Launch. Command not found. Now my brain is quitting on me. Why now? It's after 6:30PM. Fiddle with some settings, reset $Oracle home. Try again. Yay. It works. I'm done. It's after 7PM.
There is nothing like technology to snatch the euphoria of a success away from you. It's a love-hate thing, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I'm done. Good night.3 -
People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.4 -
I really like my current job.
I work as an analyst developer looking after and sorting out people's old tech debt.
Once that's stable I get pretty free reign to do what I want.
It allows me to stretch from dev into graphic design, security, architecture and training on a very regular basis.
It allows me to keep an eye on tech trends, research and develop ideas using the latest shiny things.
Oh and if I say I need a thing, I can usually get it purchased.
All of the above comes with the "as long as it's for the benefit of the company" disclaimer, but when your direct managers see an IDE and think "okay he's working" the lines get a little blurry.
They keep asking me about my career goals and if I want to manage or move around. Fuck that noise, all of that noise.
Do wut I wawnt.6 -
I don’t know if I have dyslexic hearing but I’m pretty sure I do.
I’m in school and overhearing a conversation about indenting lines for something. The software I heard was “Microword Soft.”
I’m slowly going crazy...5 -
When a police officer comes up to you randomly to talk about the best torrent sites in my opinion and if I ever have any Netflix or Hulu accounts available to let him know.... LOL WUT?!4
-
"Customer's customer needs important thing ASAP!!!!"
"Ok wut"
"X, Y, Z!"
"Sounds good, we can do that, for what customer's customer!?!?"
"uhhhhhhh"
The volume of really important shit that we don't have details on is too damn high...1 -
Both Conservancy and the Git project are aware that the initial branch name, ‘master’, is offensive to some people and we empathize with those hurt by the use of that term.
Offensive my butt. It's not like any developer alive today had experienced the life of a slave. It's all in the past. Should I get offended by imperial Japanese flag?15 -
I bring you all another gem from my computer science course, this time from my OOP class.
The first assignment we made for this class was a simple CLI shop, where you would have basically three main classes:
- A Product class that you extend to create different types of products.
- A Cart class that manages a list of products (basically an ArrayList<Product>) and has some useful methods
- A CLI class to display a simple interface to the user and call methods on a Cart.
Basic OOP stuff, so far so good.
Then for our second assignment the teacher asked us to make Cart a generic class, where you would say Cart<Bagel> and you would only be able to put bagels in it. This makes absolutely no fucking sense, this is not a good use case for generic types since
1) you would never limit your customer's cart to one type of product at compile time.
2) in Cart, you have to cast the generic type to Product to extract any information from the product, like when getting product prices to calculate the total price, so might as well use a fucking ArrayList<Product>
I'm just saying what he's asking us to do has (to our fictional shop's business logic) absolutely no advantage over subtyping.
Also, why the fuck teach generic constraints when you can just tell your students "just cast T to Product", right?
Like fucking hell, couldn't you spend like 10min to come up with a decent assignment that actually teaches generic types the right way? ffs
And just so no one can say "but wut simple assignment would you give to teach students generic types?", here's a simple and much, much better alternative: implementing your own ArrayList. Done. Can't get much better than that, it's a legit use case and teaches you the basics.
Sorry man, you're a great person, you really are, but you suck as a teacher.3 -
(long post is long)
This one is for the .net folks. After evaluating the technology top to bottom and even reimplementing several examples I commonly use for smoke testing new technology, I'm just going to call it:
Blazor is the next Silverlight.
It's just beyond the pale in terms of being architecturally flawed, and yet they're rushing it out as hard as possible to coincide with the .Net 5 rebranding silo extravaganza. We are officially entering round 3 of "sacrifice .Net on the altar of enterprise comfort." Get excited.
Since we've arrived here, I can only assume the Asp.net Ajax fiasco is far enough in the past that a new generation of devs doesn't recall its inherent catastrophic weaknesses. The architecture was this:
1. Create a component as a "WebUserControl"
2. Any time a bound DOM operation occurs from user interaction, send a payload back to the server
3. The server runs the code to process the event; it spits back more HTML
Some client-side js then dutifully updates the UI by unceremoniously stuffing the markup into an element's innerHTML property like so much sausage.
If you understand that, you've adequately understood how Blazor works. There's some optimization like signalR WebSockets for update streaming (the first and only time most blazor devs will ever use WebSockets, I even see developers claiming that they're "using SignalR, Idserver4, gRPC, etc." because the template seeds it for them. The hubris.), but that's the gist. The astute viewer will have noticed a few things here, including the disconnect between repaints, inability to blend update operations and transitions, and the potential for absolutely obliterative, connection-volatile, abusive transactional logic flying back and forth to the server. It's the bring out your dead approach to seeing how much of your IT budget is dedicated to paying for bandwidth and CPU time.
Blazor goes a step further in the server-side render scenario and sends every DOM event it binds to the server for processing. These include millisecond-scale events like scroll, which, at least according to GitHub issues, devs are quickly realizing requires debouncing, though they aren't quite sure how to accomplish that. Since this immediately becomes an issue with tickets saying things like, "scroll event crater server, Ugg need help! You said Blazorclub good. Ugg believe, Ugg wants reparations!" the team chooses a great answer to many problems for the wrong reasons:
gRPC
For those who aren't familiar, gRPC has a substantial amount of compression primarily courtesy of a rather excellent binary format developed by Google. Who needs the Quickie Mart, or indeed a sound markup delivery and view strategy when you can compress the shit out of the payload and ignore the problem. (Shhh, I hear you back there, no spoilers. What will happen when even that compression ceases to cut it, indeed). One might look at all this inductive-reasoning-as-development and ask themselves, "butwai?!" The reason is that the server-side story is just a way to buy time to flesh out the even more fundamentally broken browser-side story. To explain that, we need a little perspective.
The relationship between Microsoft and it's enterprise customers is your typical mutually abusive co-dependent relationship. Microsoft goes through phases of tacit disinterest, where it virtually ignores them. And rightly so, the enterprise customers tend to be weaksauce, mono-platform, mono-language types who come to work, collect a paycheck, and go home. They want to suckle on the teat of the vendor that enables them to get a plug and play experience for delivering their internal systems.
And that's fine. But it's also dull; it's the spouse that lets themselves go, it's the girlfriend in the distracted boyfriend meme. Those aren't the people who keep your platform relevant and competitive. For Microsoft, that crowd has always been the exploratory end of the developer community: alt.net, and more recently, the dotnet core community (StackOverflow 2020's most loved platform, for the haters). Alt.net seeded every competitive advantage the dotnet ecosystem has, and dotnet core capitalized on. Like DI? You're welcome. Are you enjoying MVC? Your gratitude is understood. Cool serializers, gRPC/protobuff, 1st class APIs, metadata-driven clients, code generation, micro ORMs, etc., etc., et al. Dear enterpriseur, you are fucking welcome.
Anyways, b2blazor. So, the front end (Blazor WebAssembly) story begins with the average enterprise FOMO. When enterprises get FOMO, they start to Karen/Kevin super hard, slinging around money, privilege, premiere support tickets, etc. until Microsoft, the distracted boyfriend, eventually turns back and says, "sorry babe, wut was that?" You know, shit like managers unironically looking at cloud reps and demanding to know if "you can handle our load!" Meanwhile, any actual engineer hides under the table facepalming and trying not to die from embarrassment.36 -
Been getting a lot of troll / clown / clueless (?) comments on my posts recently. Select favorites include:
"Why do you have a login form on your website?" wut
"Why didn't you throw away that API key?" wut
"Why do you even need to access your apps' servers?" wut
There are just SO many amazing devs here who have NEVER had do any of those things, I'm quite literally an idiot and don't know what I'm doing, sorry for my ignorance. I'd forgotten that there is only exactly one way to build software, I wish I'd done it "that" way sooner! Foolish me.
Really not sure if trolls, clowns, or clueless. Don't care. 🤡🤡🤡12 -
Ffs. Am I sick or is it normal that after almost a year at current company, I still love it and have nothing to rant about? It makes me happy and sad at the same time that i have nothing to rant about and this is the only rant i can come up with5
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Covid-19 quarantine checklist:
> isolate yourself ✓
> wash hands ✓ // duuuuh
> work from home ✓
> buy normal quantities of TP ✓
> get attacked by a bat (from Wuhan?! O.o) ✓
> buy some favourite bar soap
> ...
W8 wut?!
Yeah...I saw a bat fly by the balcony.. I thought: oh, how nice, they never fly so close.. Wait...a bat?! Aren't bats supposed to start all this shiiii...O.O
Thoughts interrupted by a bat flap tap (sound it makes when it hits something) behind my back..
Quickly pull hoodie over the hair..and jacket hood to, just in case.. friend once got a bat tangled in her curly hair.. I didn't wanna test if straight but longer hair also make problems for them.. Some more flapping & scratchy noises (I think it fell on the umbrella) then nothing.. OMG did it die on my balcony?! How the fuck am I gonna explain a dead bat to the authorities who remove dead wildlife?! >Yeah, a funny thing happened the other day, I got a message from Wuhan and the messenger dropped dead on my balcony..< Yeah, this would totally work.. o.0 Anyhow, once the noises stopped, I turned around to check on it..but couldn't find it.. so I just hope it managed to fly away and I won't find it after 3 days in the middle of my apartment... o.013 -
endor's first magical adventures with PostgreSQL
"Alright, got the docker image up and running, and I'm connected to the db, both from console and from Datagrip! Cool, let's get started with the tutorial!"
*cue montage of me using Datagrip to create my first schema, then the first table, then insert a bunch of data to try things out*
"Cool, now let's see if I can view my data from the console"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]
"*Ahem*, I said:"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [cricket noises]
"Wut, why can't I see the data that I inserted? Wtf is going on?"
*30 minutes later*
"Alright, I have no idea what's going on, so let's try inserting the data from console and see if Datagrip can see it"
db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
ERROR: syntax error at or near "SELECT"
LINE 2: SELECT
^
"Wait, what?"
db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
INSERT 0 2
"Wtf? Haaang on... "
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1;
id | name | field2 | field3
----+------+--------+--------
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
(4 rows)
*eye twitches*4 -
W8 wut?! O.o
How the hell is someone gonna hack my computer using calculator?!
Also WTH?! I don't even know what that built in admin BS is in win10, let alone how to log in with this o.O
4 -
Me: Hits blocking bug in someone else's code. Everyone's busy and stressed, I'll have a look myself. Find the problem, find associated documentation. In a language I don't really know, so pass this to appropriate dev.
Them: It's not a problem for me.
Me: ... Wut?
I don't work there anymore...
I joined in June to work on a project due to release in July. It released in December.1 -
When all of your friends know you're a web programmer, and for some reason assume this also means you know how to fix the viruses they have on an old Windows XP computer. Like, seriously wut? 🙄1
-
We are at the end of the school year, at least in France.
This is my recap of this shitty year.
My school try to teach programming, and that’s just a try.
Some of the dudes do not event know what a variable was.
For a second year university diploma, they don’t teach OOP, no Git, no DP, no JS, no clean code or whatever.
So at the end of the year, you’ll be able to code in procedural, no versioning, spaghetti code and a big mess in folder structure, lack of interactivity because of poor JS knowledge.
Well a codebase which makes you crying blood, literally.
And that’s what a second year university diploma ...
Fortunately for the most curious there’s so much to learn out of the school but, damn, why are some schools so retarded ?
For almost 8k€/year you just receive a piece of paper and you’re still a shit in your *suppose to be* job.8 -
Intel, wtf kind of drugs is your stupid site on?
Trying to make an account, the password requirement says "at least one special character".
Ok, no problem.
"Password format is invalid"
Wut? Hmm, maybe it doesn't like that one. Let's try one from their suggested ones.
"Password format is invalid"
WTF? The fuck is your problem?!
*reloads the page, tries again*
"Password format is invalid"
ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?
*adds the special at the end of the password instead of the beginning*
It works.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
And then we wonder why bugs like Meltdown and Spectre come up. These guys can't even do fucking password validation properly.
And I've just lost 30 minutes because of this shit.
FUCK! -
Non-tech: "You're really classy aren't you?"
Me: "Damn straight! Bet you'd like to define me."
Non-tech: "Wut..."
My jokes are wasted :/1 -
Ran speedtest on my phone and got about 20mbps dl/ul speed. Opened facebook app and pictures are not even loading. Wut.2
-
Fuck apple, and fuck xcode.
Making and running android app was a breeze.
Making and running ios app was hell.
Expectation : I should have gotten everything I need just by installing xcode and flutter.
Reality : I need to install these from the terminal : xcode command line tools, homebrew, ruby, cocoapods, firebase-cli. Also I need to manually add many stuffs, such as google login url into xcode project settings. Also we can simply test run our app or install to our device, and iphone we owned, we need to register in apple developer program, fill a full form, blah blah blah.
When it comes to android, I only need to register an account much much later, when I want to publish it to the playstore.5 -
How to make a sys explode
1. Ask to configure an e-mail
2. Ask the pop and imap port
Really....u serious ? -
I encountered a really weird bug today in my javascript. I'm working on a CMS and one of the things it handles is adding, uploading and resizing images. So, one function adds an empty image to the dom, unselects the currently selected image and selects the new empty image. Pretty straighforward right? So the problem is the unselect function didn't want to work. The image is added and gets selected but the previous image is also still selected.
I set a few breakpoints checked every variable but everything was the way it should. So after an hour trying things I discovered that if I removed the code where the image get added to the body the deselect function works (innerHTML += element) I thought maybe a little timout between these two actions would work but it didn't work. It looks like all dom actions lock up after the empty image gets added. I didn't understood so I moved the unselect function to the above the image add code and it worked wut ??.
code before fix:
func:
body.innerHTML += html;
unselect();
select();
after:
func:
unselect();
body.innerHTML += html;
select();
Atleast its fixed now -
Trying to use docker for the first time, and getting nowhere. I think I'm actually unlearning how to use a computer.1
-
Scrum master sends a team wide mail and Apple Mail thinks it’s from a mailing list. Ummm.. wut? How come? What’s the algorithm to deduce whether a mail is from a mailing list or not?1
-
Trying to explain a game developer in a community, why its a bad idea to only make client side patches for equiptment to appear correctly..
me: because the server needs to be aware of the changes made to avoid faulty calculations, for instance if the client calculates a fatal but the server disagree..
dev: but it works...
me: yes, but not optimally.
dev: Working as intended (TM)
me: ... teh fuq?
not sure if he's a bad troll or wut..1 -
A company I once worked for actually had an IT management reporting process called TPS reports. Completely non-ironically. I did ask if they were giving homage to “Office Space” and they were like, “Wut?”
And, yes, the report was obnoxious and a complete waste of everyone’s time. -
Asked us to build a car and later complain because it cannot fly.
And then, expect us to turn into a plane in 3days? -
My friend tried to disassemble FakeSMC (hackintoshers where are u at) into assembly code.
My friend: yo dude, let's look at FakeSMC's ASM!
Me: u stoopid or wut
My friend: don't worry, it's gonna be so much fun!
Me friend after an hour and an accidental modification the the file through ASM: bro i need your help, my hackintosh won't boot and I need your backup13 -
Dev: [does some weird code to make test pass]
Me: this won't work. Literally the documentation says what you did won't work once we move towards our end goal architecture.
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
.... One Sprint later nothing works...
Dev: [does some weird code to make test pass]
Me: no. You need to solve underlying problem.
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
.... One Sprint later nothing works...
Me: please stahp
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
Me: WTF man do your fucking job
Scrum Master: stahp lowering our velocity
Me: wut? 😒2 -
Fucking shit! So I built this new gaming rig: https://devrant.com/rants/1795588/...
....and fuck!
Firstly the RAM does not fucking run on 3200MHz. The maximum stable speed is 3000MHz...
A secondly, the CPU is so fucking HOT! 50 degrees Celsius in BIOS, underclocking when I try to run stress test. I knew it is thermal paste, so I decided to take the cooler off and see and buy a new better paste and wtf AMD, their paste is so shit, that there was actually no layer of paste on the CPU, only on the edges big piles of it. WUT?4 -
We complain a lot about others. I'll toss out my own dork up from today.
Customer: "Can we add more than X widgets? There seems to be a limit."
Me: "Wut? Lol no I didn't limit.... wait a second."
SQL... field type... varchar
-hand to forehead-15 -
-Me late at night facing a deadline-
Git: Hey there's no upstream bran---
Me: WUT? I don't even know what ... sure whatever just do your thing git!!!!
Git: YOLO!1 -
So how does dead code from 2007 still exist in this codebase, better yet why were there three of the exact same page literally no differences lmfao. Spent a moment having confused QA guys talk to me getting me confused because they couldn't replicate the solution that had been applied to all three versions of the page.
-
I spent the whole day of yesterday trying to install the windows anniversary update after a clean Windows installation. Every time i tried to update it would go through 30% completion and then... BSOD, claiming that i didnt had a boot device. WUT? Anyway, after 5h of research and no success, i created a bootable usb installer and tried to install Windows 10 Education (which is my license). After the 1st restart... Error: Windows could not complete the installation. OH GOD WHY ME? After another hour i figured it out. Somehow i needed to install the version Windows Home and after the installation update to Student. DAMN WHAT A DAY...2
-
How is that happening??
It's Thursday already !
All I've done this week is scrolling on devRant and Reddit, shit !
[But I like it a little, because this month I'm already broke] -
started a dev apprenticeship recently: 3,5 days at work, 1,5 at school. using/learning c# at school. The title of the ebook they offer us to use: 'c# 2005'
wut? -
https://i.imgflip.com/2i02zy.jpg
git branch -r
origin/204/match-dsteem-on-sign-transaction
origin/305-support-hive-legacy-api
origin/307-call-async
origin/72-http-socket-support
origin/HEAD -> origin/dev
origin/appbase-http
origin/chore/fix-ws
origin/default-server
but
git push --follow-tags https://github.com/lopudesigns/... --set-upstream origin dev
fatal: refs/remotes/origin/HEAD cannot be resolved to branch.
wut -
after installing and configuring NGINX + uwsgi + emperor for 10+ hours, the final resolution is... reinstall OS... wut?
-
Customer pays an extra charge ($) for using a thing over time. Unlike some customers this charge isn't broken out separately anywhere is and actually it is hidden in an overall bill / number they receive that is just a non itmized sum of a bunch of stuff...
They want an accurate number.
This request came up in a meeting and it was so bonkers that it had to be repeated like 8x ;)
The repetition isn't so bad really as at least it indicates everyone was all "uh wait wut!!?!?" -
Me: [Talking about how you are able to create AMI images on AWS using Packer without relying on public AMI images]
Ops: Yeah our AWS version doesn't have that.
Me: wut? ಠ_ಠ -
Explain to me why CORS isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard of?
I can make requests from outside the browser but not from within? Hah?6 -
Funny conversation I overheard while buying groceries ..
Person 1: why is it, programmers always seem so sad, negative.. Depressed?
Person 2: well, the less you know the happier you go.
Take a look at retards.
Person 1: sigh. I want to be happy.
Person 2: Remove your lust and you're left with happy.
Person 1: wut?
Person 2: look at that retard over there, shouting happy by itself.
Person 1: I see. But how would I apply it.
Person 2: well, I don't think shouting like that retard requires much application.
Person 3(me): don't worry, be happy. -
Me: God damn why don't some of these save to the DB or others do it intermittently.... is this a network issue or-
API (if it could talk): Yeah mean I don't get, it I mean this is what I sent to the DB.
Me: Wait ... "what you sent!?!?!"2
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