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Year 2013
- Trying this thing called Bitcoin
- Setup wallet in spare USB drive
- Buy 0.5 BTC (couldn’t afford more)
- Forgot about it
Year 2016
- Remembered I had bought BTC
- Looking like crazy for my USB drive
- Found it!
- Insert it into PC
- only one file in it
- essay_blah_blah_<sisters name>.doc
- poof, gone for ever14 -
A "support" guy my boss got in. I had told my boss numerous times, "Get rid of this guy, he's only wasting our time and money. And he's going to end up doing something where we will end up having to put out the fires."
Sure as a pair of nuts on a squirrel, this crazy bastard goes and DELETES a client's database. Yes folks, in fucking production. A live database. The heart of the business' transactions are... *poof*... GONE!!!
No backups for the day! No synchronisation beforehand! No nothing... just GONE!!! Fucking flat-lining!
Well, when I realised what he has done, I had to remove myself from the room before shit got outta hand!
I told the boss man that is the last straw and he needs to go...
The long and short of it...
- The client had luckily only lost about half a days data.
- I'm no longer at the company.
- This dumb fuck still is.
18 -
My first job: The Mystery of The Powered-Down Server
I paid my way through college by working every-other-semester in the Cooperative-Education Program my school provided. My first job was with a small company (now defunct) which made some of the very first optical-storage robotic storage systems. I honestly forgot what I was "officially" hired for at first, but I quickly moved up into the kernel device-driver team and was quite happy there.
It was primarily a Solaris shop, with a smattering of IBM AIX RS/6000. It was one of these ill-fated RS/6000 machines which (by no fault of its own) plays a major role in this story.
One day, I came to work to find my team-leader in quite a tizzy -- cursing and ranting about our VAR selling us bad equipment; about how IBM just doesn't make good hardware like they did in the good old days; about how back when _he_ was in charge of buying equipment this wouldn't happen, and on and on and on.
Our primary AIX dev server was powered off when he arrived. He booted it up, checked logs and was running self-diagnostics, but absolutely nothing so far indicated why the machine had shut down. We blew a couple of hours trying to figure out what happened, to no avail. Eventually, with other deadlines looming, we just chalked it up be something we'll look into more later.
Several days went by, with the usual day-to-day comings and goings; no surprises.
Then, next week, it happened again.
My team-leader was LIVID. The same server was hard-down again when he came in; no explanation. He opened a ticket with IBM and put in a call to our VAR rep, demanding answers -- how could they sell us bad equipment -- why isn't there any indication of what's failing -- someone must come out here and fix this NOW, and on and on and on.
(As a quick aside, in case it's not clearly coming through between-the-lines, our team leader was always a little bit "over to top" for me. He was the kind of person who "got things done," and as long as you stayed on his good side, you could just watch the fireworks most days - but it became pretty exhausting sometimes).
Back our story -
An IBM CE comes out and does a full on-site hardware diagnostic -- tears the whole server down, runs through everything one part a time. Absolutely. Nothing. Wrong.
I recall, at some point of all this, making the comment "It's almost like someone just pulls the plug on it -- like the power just, poof, goes away."
My team-leader demands the CE replace the power supply, even though it appeared to be operating normally. He does, at our cost, of course.
Another weeks goes by and all is forgotten in the swamp of work we have to do.
Until one day, the next week... Yes, you guessed it... It happens again. The server is down. Heads are exploding (will at least one head we all know by now). With all the screaming going on, the entire office staff should have comped some Advil.
My team-leader demands the facilities team do a full diagnostic on the UPS system and assure we aren't getting drop-outs on the power system. They do the diagnostic. They also review the logs for the power/load distribution to the entire lab and office spaces. Nothing is amiss.
This would also be a good time draw the picture of where this server is -- this particular server is not in the actual server room, it's out in the office area. That's on purpose, since it is connected to a demo robotics cabinet we use for testing and POC work. And customer demos. This will date me, but these were the days when robotic storage was new and VERY exciting to watch...
So, this is basically a couple of big boxes out on the office floor, with power cables running into a special power-drop near the middle of the room. That information might seem superfluous now, but will come into play shortly in our story.
So, we still have no answer to what's causing the server problems, but we all have work to do, so we keep plugging away, hoping for the best.
The team leader is insisting the VAR swap in a new server.
One night, we (the device-driver team) are working late, burning the midnight oil, right there in the office, and we bear witness to something I will never forget.
The cleaning staff came in.
Anxious for a brief distraction from our marathon of debugging, we stopped to watch them set up and start cleaning the office for a bit.
Then, friends, I Am Not Making This Up(tm)... I watched one of the cleaning staff walk right over to that beautiful RS/6000 dev server, dwarfed in shadow beside that huge robotic disc enclosure... and yank the server power cable right out of the dedicated power drop. And plug in their vacuum cleaner. And vacuum the floor.
We each looked at one-another, slowly, in bewilderment... and then went home, after a brief discussion on the way out the door.
You see, our team-leader wasn't with us that night; so before we left, we all agreed to come in late the next day. Very late indeed.9 -
I suddenly remembered this after being gone from my previous company for nearly a year.
So, I worked there as a tech supporter and Linux engineer.
What would often happen was clients calling with an issue regarding software of some sorts and about half the time, instead of LOOKING AT THE GODDAMN ERROR MESSAGE they'd just click it away fast and complain shit wasn't working.
I specifically remember this one case:
*big client mails complained that one of their clients' email isn't working. Screenshots weren't possible apparently so after emailing back and forth for way too long, we decide to do a screen sharing session (which we never do).*
(for the record, already emailing for hours, client very frustrated, me as well because the behavior of the software sounds impossible)
Me: alright, close everything, then open it again so I can see what happens.
Client: *opens mail client, error appears, client clicks error away faster than an arch user being able to mention they use arch*
Me: uhm.... I assume you already know what that message said and that it has nothing to do with the issue?
Client: it has nothing to do with the issue.
Me: okay... But have you at least looked the message?
Client: no but it has nothing to do with the issue.
Me: but, how'd you know if you won't look at it?
Client: it has nothing to do with the issue, okay?
Me: okay.... so, what's happening here?
Client: the user isn't receiving email anymore at this point!
Me: alright, have you checked the settings and everything?
Client: of course, all good
Me: okay but can we at least restart the software again to at least check the error message?
Client: FINE. *restarts client (pun intended, of course)*
Error message: username or password incorrect, can't connect to the server.
Client:..........
Client:............
Client:...............
Client:..................
Client:.....................
Client:..................
Client:...............
Client:............
Client:.........
Client: 😐
Client: 😶
Client: 😅
Client: 😬
Client:..... Right, I changed the password...
Client: *sets correct password*
*poof, error message gone*
Client:..... Thanks 💀
Me: you're welcome 😄
💀3 -
Dear Indian Companies,
Why do you hire for a role and then say: "We dont have that role but then we want you to grow up to be a Generalist"!
6 years as a build, release and SCM guy at Moto and Nokia back then, I shifted to this big Indian IT corp coz Nokia was shutting down...
A week into my orientation (which is a crazy weirdness inducing ritual in and of itself), the new manager I'm supposed to be working with comes up and says- "Here's the code repo, there are 2 open jQuery issues, fix them!"
I'm not really sure what to say at this point because jQuery is nice and all but thats not who I am.. I'm the infra / DevOps guy. And this is circa 2012 when DevOps as a term was just hotting up...
Tell me to setup a multi-stage pipeline and automated test cycles, I'll do it drunk, but oh no! bug fixing on a jQuery script? Noooo!!!!! I just dont have the chops for it.
So long story short, I get reported to HR for insubordination - Yeah, Go Figure!
Cue: HR meeting
HR: You wont work?
Me: I cant work on jQuery. I am a sysadmin / devops guy... Give me a project that involves those skills and I'll work.
HR: But we hired you to work on jQuery.
Me: But you did not mention jQuery / UI / UX in the job description - Pulls up email and shows JD for interview which says Symbian, Build, Release, Configuration Management but NOT jQuery.
HR: ....
Me: :-/
HR: But we want you to be a generalist.
Me: #wtf
HR: We want an engineer to be able to do anything he is tasked with!
Me: Can I know my last working date here?
And thats how my career at a glorious IT corporation just went poof!
When I think back on it, I feel good that I chose to do what I wanted to get better at and what I loved working on...
And this is the problem with IT companies in our country - They play with people's aspirations and passions... To the point that all thats left of a software engineer is the looking forward to pay day so he can start the damn cycle all over again.11 -
Well. My life is over. I got punchy and accidentally deleted a client’s entire site. Backups and all. Wasn’t paying attention to which specific delete feature I was using and POOF. It’s all gone.
The worst part? I was actually just trying to delete a staging site where I was trying out some stuff to try to win a site redesign contract. Now it looks like I’ll be paying THEM for damages and/or building them a new site for FREE.
I’m so done.27 -
I'm the only windows user in my office(my only other choice was Mac). One of the salesmen walks in my office with his macbook.
salesman: what do you know about macs?
me: nothing, why?
salesman: well I just got a new MacBook and I can't right-click, is there like a setting or something I gotta click?
me: well there's no "right-click" by default on Macs, but I think there's a way so you can click with the right side of the touchpad and get the "command-click" you're looking for. stand over there quietly while I finish this function then I'll look into it.
*i proceed to fiddle with some code for 5 or so minutes while he stands in the corner*
me: ok so let's look at your MacBook... ok *at this point I jump on my computer* let's see what Google has to say.
search: enable right-click on mac
me: huh! look at that! Google gives you the answer right there, poof! like magic. now we just follow directions, system settings>keyboard and touchpad>enable click with bottom right corner. bam! anything else?
salesman: yeah, I want the little bar thing to go away *talking about the dock auto-hide
me: ok well that's called the dock, let's ask Google again...look, Google gives the answer again, without even needing to click any links, I could probably click these links and get more in-depth instructions, but right here at the top is the answer
salesman: wow man, thanks! I've got a meeting in 10 minutes and I never would have figured this out.
*before he leaves
me: here take this...
4 -
Commit fast, commit often.
I lost a day's worth of code once, because I wanted to commit all of them in the evening right before I was to go home. Then I mistakenly hit `git checkout .` instead of `git add .`.
Poof. Gone.9 -
Let me explain a tiny corner of some awful code I read earlier today, in layman’s terms.
It’s a method to see if the user is in a secure session — not to set up the session, just to see if it exists. The method ends with a question mark, so it’s basically a question. It should look up the info (without changing anything) and should always give a clear yes/no answer. Makes sense, right?
Let’s say the question is “am I in school right now?”
The code… well.
If there isn’t a student, the answer it gives is null, not yes or no. Null is a fancy word for no, pretty much, so that’s kinda fine, but it really should be a simple no.
It then checks to see if the school is open today. If it is open, it then checks to see if I made my lunch, if I took my backpack, and if I rode the bus — and makes these things happen if they didn’t. Forgot my backpack? Just ask “am I in school today?” And poof! There’s my backpack! … but only if the school is open.
It then, finally, checks to see if I’m actually in the school, and gives that answer.
It could just see if I’m in the school — I mean, I could be in school without a backpack, or walked there on the weekend, right? Ha! You and your silly logic have no place here.
So, by asking if the user is in a secure session, we change the answer: they weren’t before, but the act of asking makes it so. This isn’t profound or anything: I don’t work with Schrödinger. My coworkers are just idiots.
And no, the rest of the code isn’t any better…7 -
I hate GoDaddy, we all hate GoDaddy. We know this. I had VPS running a single site that was there for 8 years and only hanging on there for a few business reasons. It was to move this past May to another server, then June, then July ... continually waiting for the final phase to pass so I can move it. Backups running nightly to a separate GoDaddy FTP server ... for 8 years. All good for 8 years. Our company gets a new credit card ... I'm away and forget to update it with GoDaddy ... billing fails 3 times and they delete EVERTHING. No care about being a good customer for 8 years (14 total with other servers), no phone call, no nothing. Poof, gone. Now, I know I should have transferred backups locally or, at the very least, somewhere else. I just never expected this type of treatment. FUCK GODADDY!12
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Well something happened to my Ubuntu and suddenly.... <poof> it supports my Nvidia GPU now </poof>16
-
As stated in a previous story, I just started an internship using angular and am learning it on the job.
The other day, one of the admins posted an issue in gitlab about how easy it was to delete user accounts via the front end.
He wanted someone to add further confirmation to prevent accidentally deleting anyone. Literally just had to hit the X icon and poof they're gone.
I was like, I can do that! Of course, as I was looking at the platforms account page, accidentally deleted that admins account 😅
He thanked me for resolving the issue, and it became a joke around the office about the irony of the situation.2 -
So my HP laptop got a weird problem lately.
It doesn't charge when I plug in the charger(yes, i turned on the switch). So I began searching forums for a solution and then found out that there are so many people like me out there.
Then I was like ok, chill. There are many people like me, there must be a solution somewhere.
And after doing lots of research and trying all the solutions in the internet, the only thing that worked out is this ....
Step1 : turn on and the laptop and plug in the charger.
Step 2: Turn off the laptop.
Step 3: Now turn it back on and poof there you go, the laptop's charging.
And then I improvised the solution myself, which is u can replace the switch off part with Sleep which saved me some time.
And then whenever I try to show something my friends somethjng on my lap and the battery gets low, I do the ritual. For a brief moment their face becomes like dude I'm gonna kill you off, why the hell did u bring me here and now u r turning that off. And then I explain the history of my laptop.
Why HP whyyy ?12 -
Sometimes taking a break can really clear your head. Yesterday evening, I was programming with my mate and couldn't find a very persistent bug. Didn't want to get a break because I just wanted to solve it. He convinced me to go downstairs and get a drink. Reached the bottom of the stairs aaaaand poof, figured out the bug!1
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Shout out to the people who take someone else's office chair. I just went for a toilet break then *poof* someone took it.5
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New feature on the Cuntbook. Want to write a post to a page? Poof, and it's gone! BILLION DOLLAR FUCKING FEATURE!!! BILLION DOLLAR FUCKING COMPANY!!!
CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!
Oh and just to load our pages it takes 20 seconds. Because fuck you, this is Web 2.0. FUCK!!!
9 -
Today I come across something interresting in SQL Server.
I was optimizing a report query and in the SSMS windows runned in 10 seconds for 3000 rows.
Put it to a stored procedure took me 5 minutes for getting 100 rows.
I was like WTF?
After some research I found out that the problem was that I was using the Stored Procedure parameters in the query.
Created local variables for the parameters and poof... 10 seconds again.
So if you are creating Stored Procedures in SQL Server DO NOT USE THE PARAMETERS FROM THE PROCEDURE. CREATE LOCAL VARIABLES.5 -
Ages ago, it was still in the last millenium which will not end soon at that point of tine, I had a 10MB HDD in my first computer. It was a gift and second hand, and DOS 3.2 was installed on it, and my younger self, unable to talk or write english, had that cool game on it (Pitfall, if I remember correctly). But that game was not enough, so I tried to enter all the filenames in all the folders to find other games on that machine. Some commands were ther which I have not understand correctly, and one of them was 'format'. Typed in 'format' and pressed enter, an error message appears that I have to enter a drive letter as argument. Because I had known only A: for the floppy drive and C: for the HDD i tried at first with the floppy. Nothing happens, vecause there was no disk in the drive. Then I entered C: ...
Poof, everything deleted...
I was unable to setup that pc again and my so beloved game was gone also.. still sad about it, because that machine would be a real treasure today but it is gone a long time ago.1 -
It feels like you are talking to yourself while commits when you create a github repo and you are the only contributor. :p2
-
nearly cried.
I had been working on this file for the last 4 or so hours.
And accidentally deleted it with NerdTree (mdy).
300 loc. poof.
scoured internet for recovery procedure.
and.......
... to no avail. just about to give up.
here comes the climax: .....
It was stillllll...... in the NEOVIM. BUFFER.
vim got my back.
praise you vim lord.
#vim_pope3 -
This is the craziest shit... MY FUCKING SERVER JUST SET ON FIRE!!!
Like seriously its hot news (can't resist the puns), it's actually really bad news and I'm just in shock (it's not everyday you find out your running the hottest stack in the country :-P)... I thought it slow as fuck this morning but the office internet was also on the fritz so I carried on with my life until EVERYTHING went down (completely down - poof gone) and within 2 minutes I had a technician from the data centre telling me that something to do with fans had failed and they caught fire, melted and have become one with the hardware. WTF? The last time I went to the data centre it was so cold I pissed sitting down for 2 days because my dick vanished.
I'm just so fucking torn right now because initially I was absolutely fucking ecstatic - 1 week ago after a year of doomsday bitching about having a single point of failure and me not being a sysadmin only to have them look at me like I'm some kind of techie flat earther I finally got approval to spend around 5x more per month and migrate all our software to containerized micro services.
I'll admit this is a bit worse than I expected but thanks to last week at least I have recent off site images of the drives - because big surprise I have to set this monolithic beast back up (No small feat - its gonna be a long night) on a fresh VPS, I also have to do it on premises or the data will only finish uploading sometime next week.
Pro Tip: If your also pleading for more resources/better production environment only to be stone walled the second you mention there's a cost attached be like me - I gave them an ultimatum, either I deploy the software on a stack that's manageable or they man the fuck up and pay a sys admin (This idea got them really amped up until they checked how much decent sys admins cost).
Now I have very flexible pockets because even if I go rambo the max server costs would only be 15-20% of a sys admins paycheck even though that is 13 x more than our current costs.
-
Damnit! I dropped a 16GB USB Drive on an open floor, and the thing has just vanished. It has my install files for CentOS 7 on it. It's like a mouse or something came out and snatched it and, poof, gone. Dobby, damnit, what did you do with my USB Drive?4
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I am really sick and tired of this shit.
I meet a really nice girl and we strat sending messages to each other. After a while she ask what i am studying i tell her Game Development.
And then she ask me o so you can hack. And poof the image that she is the perfect just disapears
3 -
Had a laptop on which i learned programming. bought a new convertible for uni, so i passed my laptop to my younger sister.
-> time to move data from old to new device. thought i didn't have that much data, mostly installed programs, so i thought alright i'm fine.
sister doesn't know how to reset so i do it ...
halfway through the reset process i realize i forgot all my programs i had written, including many java, a c#, and some written android apps i was kinda proud of ... plus my neural network i had finally finished with much struggle😥
there goes my history *poof* when i got worse in school 'cause of programming ... smth in me died in that moment 😑4 -
DEPRESSION TRIGGER WARNING
Every once in a while, I feel depressed.
From who am i, where am i questions to what will i do in the future to sustain myself...
But what hits me so hard every single time is what will happen if i die...
So i disappear
From here.
As if i never wake up again from my sleep
It is like
Gone
I don't know how to explain but..
It terrifies me
Think about it
You... Poof!
Gone
From this world
And if you have no kids,well,
Gone. Completely
.......
G.O.N.E.12 -
Sometimes I think that clients see devs as magicians.
It's like we just put a white blanket on the pc and then *poof*, an app is magically created instantly.
We are like DEVid Blaine.3 -
When you're deep in thought about a complex problem with your headphones in, and someone comes and stands right in front of you, stares at you and loudly says, "You look like your concentrating really hard!" Causing your train of thought to go "POOF".
1 -
Weather is changing so frequently.
I'm switching since 1 1/2 weeks between being tired, no sleep, migraine.
On top of that I have to unclog a multilayer cache architecture based on varnish.
My brain poof.
Plus a lot of management tasks.... And planning.
I just want to enter a hibernation mode and sleep for 3-4 weeks.
Please?6 -
Chrome blocked TheGreatSuspender yesterday. All the Chrome installations got that extension removed.
My chrome:
300-400 tabs (in total): *poof*17 -
Someone did something right - i sometimes get anxiety and this little wonder helps tremendously....
Holding it while it spins....thats all it takes and "poof" - anxiety gone and am 110% able to focus
9 -
The platform my school is using was obviously designed and developed by people who hate students.
I've seen the teacher panel, and it looks really intuitive, allowing you to see test scores, missing assignments, attendance records easily, and it was obviously well thought-out
however, the UX as a student is a goddamn nightmare
First of all, there's like 5 different places where an instructor can post an assignment, so good luck keeping track of your work
Second of all, there's no way to sort assignments by completion status or due date. Just by when assigned
Third of all, the only way to see your grade in a class is if you dig through a series of menus and submenus and sidebars so complex and stupid it puts the Jira UI to shame
And finally, one of the 'features' of this platform is that students can submit a textbox with markdown formatting natively on the platform. And that should work great and all, but APPARENTLY THE FUCKING DEVELOPERS HAVE NEVER HEARD OF LOCALSTORAGE AND YOU JUST LOSE YOUR WORK IF YOU EVER CLOSE THE TAB FOR ANY REASON!
WITH NO FUCKING WARNING! NOT EVEN A LITTLE JAVASCRIPT ALERT OF ANYTHING!
JUST POOF! AN HOUR OF WORK GONE! YAY!
In conclusion, fuck you2 -
My boss wants me to add visual effects that goes *poof*, without being able to explain it any further. Hello?5
-
Got to work today to find out our staging server HDD has gone poof... Guess who's gonna have to reconfigure it...4
-
Never tell 60 users on a demo to "click on this button" at the same time.
Infra went "poof". No time to auto scale in this scenario.
Usual usage of app : 4 to 5 personns who do actions in the windows of 2 seconds.8 -
So for those of you keeping track, I've become a bit of a data munger of late, something that is both interesting and somewhat frustrating.
I work with a variety of enterprise data sources. Those of you who have done enterprise work will know what I mean. Forget lovely Web APIs with proper authentication and JSON fed by well-known open source libraries. No, I've got the output from an AS/400 to deal with (For the youngsters amongst you, AS/400 is a 1980s IBM mainframe-ish operating system that oriiganlly ran on 48-bit computers). I've got EDIFACT to deal with (for the youngsters amongst you: EDIFACT is the 1980s precursor to XML. It's all cryptic codes, + delimited fields and ' delimited lines) and I've got legacy databases to massage into newer formats, all for what is laughably called my "data warehouse".
But of course, the one system that actually gives me serious problems is the most modern one. It's web-based, on internal servers. It's got all the late-naughties buzzowrds in web development, such as AJAX and JQuery. And it now has a "Web Service" interface at the request of the bosses, that I have to use.
The programmers of this system have based it on that very well-known database: Intersystems Caché. This is an Object Database, and doesn't have an SQL driver by default, so I'm basically required to use this "Web Service".
Let's put aside the poor security. I basically pass a hard-coded human readable string as password in a password field in the GET parameters. This is a step up from no security, to be fair, though not much.
It's the fact that the thing lies. All the files it spits out start with that fateful string: '<?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?>' and it lies.
It's all UTF-8, which has made some of my parsers choke, when they're expecting latin-1.
But no, the real lie is the fact that IT IS NOT WELL-FORMED XML. Let alone Valid.
THERE IS NO ROOT ELEMENT!
So now, I have to waste my time writing a proxy for this "web service" that rewrites the XML encoding string on these files, and adds a root element, just so I can spit it at an XML parser. This means added infrastructure for my data munging, and more potential bugs introduced or points of failure.
Let's just say that the developers of this system don't really cope with people wanting to integrate with them. It's amazing that they manage to integrate with third parties at all...2 -
Let's say *poof* Google is banned from the internet and it's 10years later how would the internet look would it be existing services or do you think new ones would arrive.27
-
Security is a joke. And people don't seem to get it. Especially Data mungers.
I've spent about half an hour trying to work out how to securely connect to power BI using PowerShell in a renewable manner for unattended access later on.
Every single example I've found seems to involve you storing $user and $password variables inside your script. If I'm lucky, they're going to pass them through ConvertTo-SecureString. And nobody talks about securely storing AD auth tokens, or using the Windows Credential Manager.
I know it's possible, but it's going to take me ages to work out how from all sorts of disparate sources...16 -
API changes. Customer downloads newest version of dependency, and breaks my software. Why? Because the devs making the dependency don’t phase anything out with deprecation, just poof. So then I’m up all night making a patch so I don’t have to deal with set client.
-
When they ask you what you want to do for the next three months.
You give them an answer then poof.
Those are the list of your dream work.1 -
F**k companies who's apps use MySQL/MariaDB tables of the table engine MEMORY.
Seriously.
That engine *sucks* to work with as an admin. It's such a huge pain in the ass having to always dump the whole DB instead of taking a snapshot.
And if the replica restarts... Poof. Replication breaks. Cuz all the memory tables are suddenly empty!
Fml. Fmfl. Ugh.17 -
Youtube with its annoying ads that pass my dns server. Well, no longer! Just add /api/stats/ads to the universal routing. Poof ads gone ^^,2
-
Ok. I'm working on a small website, and MOTHER OF OF WEB DESIGN.
I try to set up WAMP, but it takes me 2 F-ING DAYS.
SO THEN THE FREAKIN HTML SCRIPT REFUSES TO WORK. AND THEN, ONCE I FINALLY GET MY HOPES UP, WAMP DECIDED TO JUST NOT WORK TODAY, SO I SPEND 3 HOURS FIXING THAT CRAP, AND THEN AFTER THAT PIECE OF HELL, I CAN'T FIND ANY EXAMPLE CODE OUTSIDE OF ADVANCED WEB DESIGN, SO I SIFT THROUGH THAT, JUST TO FIND HOW TO MAKE IT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL A DATABASE IS. THAN I REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO INSTALL MIRE PROGRAMS. THAN, I REALIZE THIS GUY IM LISTENING TO IS USING A MAC OS X ALTERNATIVE. SO IM DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET THIS TO WORK. AND THEN, *POOF* ALL MY WORK IS UNREADABLE SPAGHETTI.
ALL FOR A DAMNED TEST.
TL;DR, Php is not good if your working offline.9 -
How resource calculations for software services like code analysis, monitoring, etc are done:
Opening fridge, putting all the beer one can find in it.
Opening the necessary tools, e.g Excel, Accounting software, ....
Drinking the first beer.
Starting to aggregate the monthly costs - cause you can never trust the reports written by someone else...
First beer poof.
Looking at the monthly cost, adding columns "Intended use", "Actual usage pattern", "Usage factor"...
Opening next beer...
Usage factor is btw a factor of 0.1 ... 1.0 - to give an estimate how much the products feature are actually used, for further analysis if the invest is justified or not...
Oh. Another half bottle gone...
Filling in the columns...
Oh. Bottle empty and the next one toooooooooooooooo...
*burping*
*cracking finger joints*
Now let's get to the sad part...
Next worksheet, adding infrastructure costs...
Cost and description as columns.
Hehe. Column sounds like gollum.
Another beer...
Ugh. Need the paper reports, manually typing off things for stuff that was e.g. tax deductible.
Many beers die during this task. Poor little beers, dying for such an boring and mundane task...
SUM is a real useful function. I don't think I can add numbers anymore.
Now we can add another sheet.
Hehe. Sheet sounds like shit. And yes, everything in this file is shit.
Summing up costs from both sheets and including the cost factor from 1
... Beeeeeeeer Beeeeer beer we need more beer here... Beer beer beer...
Where was I. Oh yeah. Cost factorization total vs effective.
Why do I want to get even more drunk.
Oh yeah. Most software is completely underused and the costs aren't justified.
Let's add some colored highlighting ...
Uuuuh. ,Too much red. Better change the highlights.
Too much red.
More beer.
Don't give a fuck.
Hm.
Time for some whiskey.
What else is there to do....
Oh yeah.
Diagrams.
The bloody wankers from accounting need diagrams as numbers are too boring.
Not that everything in accounting is boring, no matter how much you paint colors on it... *sigh*
Hm. More whiskey...
Hehe. Whiskey rhymes with frisky.
Uff. Now just need to write mail. Mail mail mail....
"Copy paste the last mail from last month"
Hm.
Ah.
*sipping whiskey*
Spell check extension - to the rescue.
Thesaurus *burps*.
Let's change a few words here and there... Maybe another paragraph there.
Uh....
Trying to attach file...
*fucking mouse is pretty constantly crashing into empty beer bottles*
Done.
Damn.
Need to press send button.
*Creating mess on the desk by just randomly crashing the beer bottles*
Done.
*Pressing computers power button*
Mwahahahaha. No mouse needed.
*regretting to stand up too quickly, nearly barfing on the floor*
Couch ... Where Couch...
After hitting several doors, frames and other stuff, the glorious mission ended successfully with a most graciously executed gut buster on the couch.
(Regretting next morning to have emptied two 6 packs and a few glasses of whiskey) -
So a page has been sending errors for long, but we weren't able to find any way to debug it, no error code, and I don't have the authorization to see the logs so I had to wait for a co-worker to be back from holidays.
Now that they're here, I could have a chance to find what was the error.
And be really annoyed about it.
The error was provoked because the security system found a tautology in the data I sent.
(I send datas to build the page, and one parameter is called "Page". Since it was a page of management, I've sent "Gestion", which is management in French. So I sent "Page=Gestion", the security saw "ge=Ge" in it, poof, tautology, you shall not pass.)
That is so ridiculous. -
Does anybody else have the project where every time you try to change something, no matter how small, you always end up screwing it up and needing a bunch more time to fix it just to get back to the starting position?
I have this project I've done, a custom Ambilight system for my TV, and everytime I try to add a feature the lights stop working altogether... Tried adding detection of when I start my media player to automatically start the Ambilight mode (I made several modes, one of which is just shine a certain color all the time which is great if you don't want to use normal lights and want to be able to control the lights from your phone).
I had the code for detecting app start and stop from before when I implemented it for a slightly different system. I just changed the few things that are different and poof, no more lights... I managed to forget the other system checked a flag after every process exit and overrode the mode and I removed the setting of the flag, but not reading of it...
Every single time I do changes on this it's something... Other projects sometimes go smoothly, sometimes not, but this one just doesn't want to be kind to me....
Results are awesome, though :)5 -
What the fuck is happening with Windows 10 after April 2018 update?
1. Opened my local github repo in external drive
2. Made changes
3. Try to stage, get this weird "error: unable to open object pack directory: .git/objects/pack: Function not implemented" error.
4. Googled it, says check drive for errors.
5. Scanned drive, fixed error, drive has no errors.
6. Opened my repo, all file sizes are "ZERO", including my changed work, gone, poof. -
It would be pretty awesome to create software directly with my mind. Just imagine the specs and *poof* there it is, without the need of actually typing the code down.
-
Use linux they said. It is stable they said.
I use a linux VM for managing DNS with BIND and configuration via WebMIN.
A minor webmin update : Sure, let’s click.
“Update failed. WebMIN requires UnZIP” Poof whole interface is down. Here we go for 30+ minutes of manual rolling back, installing unzip, retrying update. That shit only happens on linux.23 -
!rant
Well not really a CS teacher but it did happen to me during my uni days.
I had joined a marketing class as an elective since my Information Systems degree did have some business related stuff thrown in there.
One day the lecturer strutted in all smug and told us to take out a sheet of paper and we were gonna have a surprise test.
He has the test on a pen drive , apparently it was just 2 open ended type questions he was gonna plug into the class pc and send it to the projector screen.
To this day i have no clue what the hell he did, but that smug bastard managed to delete the test permanently 😂
He popped it in and we saw a few files there he selected them and was about to either drag to desktop or open them , the cursor changed to the wait hourglass , he right clicked and refreshed as if it would
Do anything but .... PooF.... Bye test 👋
He took the pen drive out and plugged it in again, but couldn't find the test file
He scowled then checked the desktop and recycle bin, nope 👎
He took his pen drive and silently walked out....
The other IT students and I were in stitches 😂2 -
So, the PowerQuery type system appears to be a Joke.
For those you that aren't familiar with PowerQuery, it's the ETL language that is used in PowerBI, and some other parts of the MS PowerPlatform. It was formerly known as the M Language.
The language has a type system, that includes records (think hashes) and tables, which are, for practical purposes, a list of records.
The wonderful M language specification document states that:
"Any value that is a record conforms to the intrinsic type record, which does not place any restrictions on the field names or values within a record value. A record-type value is used to restrict the set of valid names as well as the types of values that are permitted to be associated with those names."
Except that the restriction is only to the set of valid names, and the language interpreter doesn't throw an error when I place a number into a text field, but also doesn't do any sort of implicit conversion. This is all hunky-dory, until you then try to load the data into the Tabular Model that underlies the query engine, which does expect the values to be of the type that is specified, and it throws an error.
But PowerBI, in its infinite wisdom, doesn't actually *record* the error, it merely tells you the error exists, and tells you to go back to the query editor to list the errors thrown up by the powerquery engine. Which, as previously stated, doesn't throw up an error for this instance.
So I've spent all afternoon trying to work out why my queries aren't loading, because I have an error that doesn't exist. fml.
[You can follow this issue on the communtiy feedback site here: https://community.powerbi.com/t5/... ] -
Power BI: wonderful tool, pretty graphics, and can do a lot of powerful stuff.
But it’s also quite frustrating when you want to do advanced things, as it’s such a closed platform.
* No way to run powerquery scripts in a command line
* Unit testing is a major pain, and doesn’t really test all the data munging capabilities
* The various layers (offline/online, visualisation, DAX, Powerquery, Dataset, Dataflow) are a bit too seamless: locating where an issue is happening when debugging can be pain, especially as filtering works differently in Query Editing mode than Query Visualisation mode.
And my number 1 pet peeve:
* No version control
It’s seriously disconcerting to go back to a no version control system, especially as you need to modify “live code” sometimes in order to debug a visual.
At best, I’ve been looking into extracting the code from the file, and then checking that into git, but it’s still a one-way street that means a lot of copying and pasting back into the program in order to roll back, and makes forking quite difficult.
It’s rewarding to work with the system, but these frustrations can really get to me sometimes2 -
spent a few days trying to track down the cause of a thermal shutdown in my workstation. intel 4790k with no overclock would spike to 95C on one core (core1) whenever maxing out all 8 threads, be it real work, mprime, anything with 100% cpu being used. I quadrupled my RAM from 8gb to 32, because its cheap and id like to have all data in memory sometimes, not because I thought that was the problem. I reseated my watercooling block. I checked out the PSU. I unplugged all unnecessary peripherals, drives, etc. It turned out to be a bug in Gigabyte MOBO BIOS (causing temps to be read incorrectly i think, still not exactly sure...) updated from version 5 to 10 and poof now temps are back in the high 50's at full load. it only took 2 days to figure out and i think i learned something
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