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A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.
Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
Source: Twitter @cryptomanran23 -
So, since I hear from a lot of people (on here and irl) that Linux has a 'very high learning curve', let me share my experiences with the first time my dad touched Linux (Elementary OS) without me interfering at all! (keep in mind that he is very a-technical)
*le me boots the system* (I already did setup a user account for him and gave him the password).
Dad: *enters password and presses enter*
Me: "Hmm that went faster than expected."
Dad: "Uhm I know how to login son, it's not that hard and pretty obvious".
Me: "Alright, why don't you try to open up the default word documents editor on here! I'll be right back!"
Me: *Goes away and returns after a minute*.
Dad: *already a few test sentences typed in LibreOffice writer* it's going pretty well :)!
Me: "Oo how did you find that?!"
Dad: "Well, there's a thingy that says 'applications' so I clicked in and found it in the "Office" section, do you think I am blind or something?!"
Me: 😐. uhm no but I just didn't think you'd find it that quickly. Now try to install Chromium browser! *thinking: he'll fail this one for sure* I'll be right back :).
Me: *returns again after a minute or so*
Dad: *already searching for stuff through Chromium*
Me: "wait, how the hell did you do that so quickly, it's not the easiest thingy for most people".
Dad: "Jesus, it's not that hard! I went to the application browsing thingy, typed 'software' and then a sorta software store icon showed up so I clicked it and it opened a windows with a search bar saying something like 'search for applications/software'. clicked in it, typed 'chromium', saw it coming up, there was a very clear 'install' button, it asked for my password, I put it in and after a little it gave a notification that it was installed. Then I went to that application browsing thingy again and typed Chromium. Then I hit enter because it selected an icon called chromium...."
Me: O.o. Okay this is going very good, now open an email client and login to your email address!
Dad: *goes to application browsing thingy, types 'email', evolution icon shows up, dad clicks it, email address setup steps show up and dad follows them quickly. After about a minute, everything is setup.
I expected this to be a hard process for someone who dealt with Windows his entire life but damn, I underestimated it.
Asked him if he found it easy/what he liked about it:
"Well, it's very clear where I can find everything, default browser/email/word document editor programs are easy to find and that's about all I need so yeah, great system!"
I am proud of you, dad!77 -
Dad: why do these forms ask me to fill those random characters(captcha)
Me: to verify that you are human
Dad: as if animals can use computers
Me: 😅7 -
* phone conversation with Dad*
Dad: What are you doing?
Me: Busy creating website.
Dad: So, if I type " www", will I be able to see it?
Me: *explaining website hosting and servers for 15mins straight*
Dad: Huh. You do learn something in college then.
Me:🤐23 -
Me (6yo): Whatcha doing?
Dad: Programming.
Me: ???
Dad: If I type this on the screen and hit this key *color appeared on screen*
Me: *eyes go wide... Dad is magician*
And here I am nearly 30 years later still learning.2 -
Dad is also a dev/architect. Mom barely knows how facebook works. So essentially she thinks I'm either playing games or working hard. Dad knows I'm just playing games.4
-
My dad picked up programming in Java as a hobby when I started my own dev company. We pair program on the weekends! 😁8
-
Dad: What do you think about this laptop?
*looking at specs... Raising eyes. Intel i3 first gen., 2 GB RAM*
Me: Nice calculator8 -
Child: Dad, why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west?
Dad: Son, it's working, don't touch it.5 -
dad: how come u always on ur computer typing colorful letters and u get paid.
me: it is called coding dad.
dad:
10 -
Son: Dad why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Because your Mom loves roses! Son: Thanks dad!
Dad: No problem, vue.js16 -
My dad called me up at 11:30 PM telling me that his computer wasn't booting. I drive over to see what was going on. I notice immediately that the motherboard light is a solid amber light.
Me: "The motherboard is amber, that means it's failing to POST".
Dad: "How soon can we fix it? I need to run my Ebay business."
Me: "A week probably. You have a laptop that works can you use that?"
Dad: "It doesn't work great with Windows, it's not a very powerful compu"
Me: "You're going to use Linux dad. Welcome to Linux."
11 -
To the guy that invented NULL...
Thanks for nothing.
*This is a corrected version of the dad joke originally containing zero.7 -
My dad just heard about the Iphone7
He wants me to create an Iphone8 because I study things with computers and technology stuff.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯9 -
// family tech support
Dad: *clicks something*
Dad: *something strange happens*
Dad: Hey son, come over here. What happened?
Son: Hm.. what did u click?
Dad: I don't know. Aren't you supposed to know that? You're our computer genius.7 -
My dad: Hey Sébastien, I think my computer has a problem, can you look my computer ?
Me: Sure.
*walks in front of the computer*
*looks at the screen*
*go away*
My dad: But, you don't fix it ?
Me: Nope, you just asked me to 'see' your computer
*walks away*13 -
Recently I've been upgrading ubuntu. It took almost midnight.
Suddenly my area witnessed low voltage.
That woke up my dad.
(Now the funny part)
He looked at my laptop. Ordered me to stop whatever is running on it.
Naturally, I asked why!
No response.
Next morning, I came to know my dad thought those gibberish commands running on terminal caused that voltage to drop.
I laughed like hell...
(Me infornt of dad - hackerman)
(Not that funny tho)
Fin.3 -
Happiest moment of the week.
*Missed call from dad*
*Calls back*
Dad: I was gonna ask you about something, but I found it on duckduckgo.6 -
My dad turned off my laptop this morning, so tonight, before going to sleep I had to tell him, not to do this.
So I decided to do this....
PS: yeah that's my mom's hair clips.:D
11 -
My dad put parental controls on the wifi password, programmed a key logger to get the password.
Hooked ever since
(6 years ago)7 -
im a programmer.
Moms : Son, please fix my phone
Me : what the...
Moms : Cmon ur the IT guy right?
Dad : My laptop must be broken, can u fix it ?
Me : i can't..
Dad : ur degree is useless
Me : ....
Friend : hi, ur the IT guy right ? can u help me ?
Me : Sure ...
Friend : please hack my BF facebook account..
Me : *face Palm.17 -
!rant
So it turns out that my dad accidentally took my spare laptop on a work trip. He's about as non-tech as you can get, and that laptop runs...Arch Linux. Yeah.
(call from dad)
M: hi dad
D: what's your desktop password?
M: (confused) {Password}
D: okay.
(cuts the call)
M: *shrug*
(call from dad)
M: hi dad
D: so where is PowerPoint?! where's the Windows button?! I've been at this for half an hour now and I have to edit a presentation for tomorrow!!
M: (realizes what's happened) oh...uh...dad...that's.. Linux...
D: don't you people do anything the way it's supposed to be done?
M: uh...
D: ugh! So you can't edit PPTs on this?
M: (processing...LibreOffice isn't installed on the laptop, and he will have to use the command line to connect to the internet to use Office Online or Google Slides since the Deepin WiFi module keeps fucking up for some reason)
D: well?
M: (internal sigh) No, you can't edit PPTs on that.
D: wow.
(cuts the call)
He either thinks we're all useless or that we have godlike computer skills to be able to edit PPTs on Linux. Oh well.
(He managed to use the hotel's "workstation" to get it done, so all is well. I should tell him to change his password though, hotel computers have rubbish security.)14 -
-"Okay dad, i saw your previous rant on devRant about android studio. So let Me show you how its done!"
Future dev (:
2 -
!Rant
my dad message me 7 am, with spec on a raspberry he got and the question if python was similar to C (he programmed C, 20 years or so ago.)
my responde: "I will set up a git for you, and we can learn python together"
dad: "what is a git?"
p.s love my dad :D8 -
My dad at my age: Running a whole department in the navy
Me at my age: Panicking because the company let me have my own project6 -
My Dad just got me these stickers for my 4th of July birthday. Never owned this many stickers in my life. So many possibilities!
23 -
My dad finally lost all hope on me when I took my PC to the repair shop.
"Son, you're studying computer engineering"
"My apologies, papa"
What can I do ☹️ It wasn't booting at all.6 -
Dad : Stop playing games so much
Me : I'm working on a project dad, not playing games
Dad : Then what do you call that *points to my 2nd screen on the side*
Me : That's the project, i'm making that game
Dad : Sure you are
Me : *changes bunch of stuff* see...
Dad : Ok i believe you *leaves the room*5 -
Didn't want to post it as there's been already a lot of posts like this. But I just can't help myself to rant over this. This happened yesterday. I helped him earlier with his phone.
Friend of my dad: Hey, I need your help with my laptop I bought from eBay.
Me: *flashbacks of devRant posts*
Him: Everything works. It's just that nothing comes up in display.
Me: Okay, you need to take that to a repair shop. If at least something came up on screen I could help.
Him: Aren't you a computer engineer? I bought this because I knew you can fix it.
Me: *more flashbacks*
Him: You gotta help me with this. I can't lose money on this
Me: You didn't even ask me anything before buying. Ask your buyer if they have a 30 day return policy.
Him: Why are paying this much to study Computer Engineering? I'll talk to your dad.
This people man. I told my dad and he never received his call anymore7 -
My dad believes in hiding his passwords in plain sight
He puts them all in a
readme.txt sitting next to the Canon printer exe file. 😂2 -
Dad: "Happy birthday"
(hands over a box)
"here's your cake, now bake it"
Me: "Wha?"
fast forward to today, its now a linux meme1 -
Dad: What are you doing with your life?
Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?
My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.13 -
I hold two degrees in computer science/engineering and to this day, whenever I have to help my dad with any computer related stuff, he *always* says:
"Good thing we let you study this stuff!"
Yeah, right dad. Fixing your windows problems is exactly what I learned in university 😒4 -
Dear Dad,
'Long Press' doesn't mean 'Pressing it harder'... they are two different things..
[RIP his smartphone]3 -
That awkward moment when during the breakfast your dad asks for a fork and you can't find him on github... 😁2
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I wanted a computer for my Christmas. Must have been 1987 and I just have been about 8.
A few days before Xmas my aunt gave me a card with £5 in it. I asked my dad “dad, if I was getting a computer I could use the £5 to buy a game”
My dad explained to me that we couldn’t afford it and maybe next year.
Woke up the next morning to a shiny new Commodore 64 AND my own little tv.
Never been happier.2 -
Dad: "Install this apk for me"
*try it and installation fails*
Me: "I checked the repo and it's for a much older version of Android. Won't work for you."
Dad: "Don't be a quitter. It can definitely be done."
Please stop asking me for help.6 -
Son: Dad what's a infinite loop?
Dad: I don't know ask your mom!.
Son: Mom what's a infinite loop?
Mom: I don't know ask your dad!.
Son: Dad what's a infinite loop?
Dad: I don't know ask your mom!.
Son: Mom what's a infinite loop?
Mom: I don't know ask your dad!
........ 😒4 -
Me annoying our dev:
Me: “Is your npm watch running?”
Him: “Yes!”
Me: “You better go catch it then... 🤣”
Him: “....”
I think we gatta let him go :(5 -
Happy rant.. life is going to change forever. I'm going to be a dad! Operation : Kiddie QA team... Is underway :D5
-
// family tech support
Dad: *Opens Microsoft Word*
Dad: *Writes stuff*
Dad: *Saves the file as "Doc1.docx" (every time)*
Dad: Son, where did I save my file? I can't find it.2 -
My dad said to me once: "Son, when you're older... you can become anything you want. The sky is the limit!"
So my response: "Really dad? Wow!! I want to become an astronaut!!"
My dad: "God damnit son... why don't you ever listen?! I said the SKY is the limit!!"
So now I am a very down to earth programmer.4 -
My dad was a Novell Certified Engineer and my mom a Bachelor in Computer Systems, so I kinda admired them until one tragic day my dad suggested "Hey son why don't you make it using Access".1
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Dad: “Hey son.. I have this new software called blablablu.."
Me: "yeah?.."
Dad: "well it's not working.. there's an error and it's not doing what I want.."
Me: "okay.. I don't know.. sorry.. I don't know that software.. I can't help you.."
Dad: "you're studying computer science... you should know what to do.."
You ****ing serious?! -.-14 -
My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.3
-
The other day, I had a talk with my dad and he asked me about why YouTube is recommending him videos that he saw in the past or that type of ads. He is a non-techie btw.
I told him about personalized ads and so on.
Told him the "advantages" and the disadvantages of it. I even explained the advantages like if they would be so good that they are on the same level as holy things that happened to humanity. That was just to test him though.
And guess what?
He was completely against it. He said that it just brings disadvantages and no advantages at all. He was pissed that YouTube was recording his search history and so on to make a profile of him. He cares for his privacy. And I'm proud to have such a dad. :)5 -
Happened half a year ago (parents both use Linux although they're very a-techie).
*Dads laptop comes back from store after a repair*
Dad: (on the phone) hello son, could you help me out? they put some weird stuff on my laptop at the repair centre...
Me: Weird stuff? like what?
Dad: It's a virus I think
Me: A virus??
Dad: Definitely a virus!
Me: And what is this virus called?
Dad: Windows 10!
Me: Oh yes coming over asap to get that removed!
I put elementary OS on it again when i went to visit my parents.
17 -
My dad has been using a Windows computer every day since 95. Yesterday he discovered that if you click the little tabs in the "details" view of the file explorer, you can sort the contents of a folder by name, date, etc.
I also tried to show him how to scroll with the mouse wheel, but he said it was too complicated, and he preferred to drag the scroll bar every single time.4 -
While working, my dad would come and stand behind me. Looking at the indentation, he would sarcastically say things like "Don't you know how to write?" or "Why are you writing so ziggy zaggy? " or "All these years of education, for what?"
The first two or three times I really had a good laugh. But after that, I really get pissed off.1 -
I love my dad 😂. I asked him on WhatsApp if he could send me his Location... He sent me an Image instead of the GPS Location.
13 -
Java in 2000: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my kid
Java in 2020: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my dad4 -
Dad: you should buy a laptop now
Me: But i just upgraded my pc
Dad: all your friends have their own laptop, you should buy too
Me: but i find pc comfortable
Dad: what if you need to work at college? You could carry your laptop to college
Me: dad! Every college have pcs for students to work
Dad: whenever i want to use the pc, i find you there. I never get to use it!
Me: New laptop sounds good to me4 -
Late 90's, I was about 12-13, Realized the source I was viewing was pretty much the whole website. Created a tribute page for rock music. It looked like a regular ol' shitty 90's website. Then one day my father showed me it's mentioned in quite a complementing way in a big national newspaper under the web section, didn't realize till much later that he was probably the one who informed them about its existence, but it was too late, as I've already tasted the fame&glory. Thanks dad! :)
-
Dad: [this company] is coming to town soon.
Me: I know
Dad: yeah maybe you can get a IT job
Me: I dont do IT
Dad: You never know what you do until you do it.
Me: *getting an aneurism from sheer ignorance*
I DO IT EVERY DAY HOW WOULD I NOT KNOW WHAT IM DOING THAT I EVEN WENT TO SCHOOL FOR?15 -
If anyone knows us inside out it's our Father! ❤️
He can sense the right or wrong even before we do. He has a special kind of sixth sense and why not, he's our DAD of course! 😅
Happy Father's Day to the Superheros
9 -
My dad got a new phone over the weekend and asked me to help him set it up (TL;DR his IPhone broke, he likely cussed out someone on the phone and now he's on android).
Setting up his bank app, I asked for his password (I somehow knew asking a 80+ year old man password questions wouldn't end well)
<pulls a card out of his wallet>
Dad: "Here you go."
Me: "This is your business card?"
Dad: "Yep. Password is at the bottom. That way I never forget it."
Me: "Jeez dad, you shouldn't have your bank's password on a business card. You don't give these out to people, do you?"
Dad: "Sometimes. Hell, they won't know what that is. Its just a bunch of nonsense."
Luckily the password didn't work. He had to reset it when his IPhone messed up and didn't remember what he changed the password to.6 -
Is it normal for a dad to jump into his son's decisions?
Recently he accepted a job offer that was directed to me. I got mad and asked why on earth he would do that.
He provocatively answered "Who are you to make this decision? I'm allowed to decide over you! Don't be so disrespectful towards your dad!".
If he was not my dad, I would have beaten the shit out of him.
PS: I'm still in college that's why I can't leave atm.18 -
Dad?.. what is a super hero?
- it's an hero amongst heroes. oftentimes ordinary heroes inherit traits from super.
It's basic inheritance, son. -
My dad is quite supportive.
After I graduated, he brought home a bunch of broken CPUs for me to fix. -
Dad: Why are you learning brainfuck
ME: --[----->+<]>----.+++.--.--.--[--->+<]>.--.++++[->+++<]>.--[--->+<]>-.--[->++++<]>-.+[->+++<]>.[--->+<]>+.-[---->+<]>++.+[----->+<]>+.+.+++++.8 -
Dad : My WhatsApp has an issue and you're a software engineer. Fix it
Me : Looks like a Android bug...can't do anything.
Dad : Come with me, this guy at the shop around the corner who does prepaid talk time recharge will fix it... learn from him
Me : facepalm , gotta kill that guy1 -
Holy shit! Albert Einstein is a real person!
My whole life I thought he was a theoretical physicist.7 -
me: hey dad i finally installed linux on my laptop
dad: whats that? nvm, what i want u to do is set up a server for emails
me: *slowly backs out*
dad doesnt acknowledge the fact that im diving into linux :(7 -
when you spend 3 years at University studying Software Engineering, and your step dad asks you, " so what is it you that actually do?"... 😐8
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I made my first website at the age of 12 with my dad for building company! It's alive to this day 😀3
-
Dad: And what do you code?
Me: Websites, some useful desktop applications and some Android apps.
Dad: Why didn't I notice them?
Me: Because I am not making money with it and can't afford advertising.
Dad: Then make money with it.
Me: ...1 -
Ability to complaining about "Gradle is too slow in my laptop!" to my dad to get a better one.
Saying thanks to Google.3 -
The handle on the faucet in one of the bathrooms broke off today. You can still operate the faucet with some finger strength. It is just difficult. We also got a reminder today that we are not to be streaming video or music using the company wifi. They ask that we use our own bandwidth on our phones.
So on the bathroom door where the faucet handle is broken I placed this sign:
10 -
Me: Dad, what are you doing with my facebook account
Dad: Just seeing your news feed son
Me: you don't know my password
Dad: Yes...you just logged in one of my phishing pages.
Me: But when did you learn these things?...you don't even know how to send a mail
Dad: Go, drink some gelusil son3 -
Some time 199x, when I was still a little kiddo, my dad bought a PC. It had a big ass HDD (dimensions-wise), 1x 3.5" floppy disk drive and a 5.25" floppy disk drive. It ran DOS. Dad managed to hook up a dot matrix Epson printer to it and used the computer for writing... whatever, really :)
Then dad got some of those 5" floppies with games and installed them on our PC. Mach3, Indy, Entity and Atlantis were my favourite ones. Later we got Wolfenstein 3-D, but that was just too scary, too intense for me.
All that was years before we got Windows 3.0 installed there.
-
Sister of a friend of mine fucked up her Mac, her Dad, they called me to fix it.
Partition table is wrecked and her thesis is there, no backup.
Been working since yesterday, got to recover it. Recovered files.
Dad applies pressure, because she's leaving out of town today, I do my best but fucking SSD won't work, it says it's healthy but damn Mac says IO error, Disk Utility says exit code 8... oh, and her dad thinks it's easy, that Ive been delaying things and so on...
fuuuuuucking hell, I hate you10 -
Dad: God I hate Windows!
Me: Why? You know you can just run the getmac command in CMD, right?
Dad: What? There is a command for that?
Needless to say, my dad is not a network engineer...1 -
My dad thinks I write a hundred characters which seem like an alien language a minute. My mum thinks I'm just 1 click away from hacking Pentagon. My step-dad, someone who knows computers a tad, knows I'm just typing random stuff hoping it works and he knows for sure I do not have a clue how it works.1
-
Me: explaining the FOSS project I'm trying to get started, to my parents.
My dad: So how do you get paid?
Me: what? No....2 -
Dad called me over for "tech support". He'd bought a wireless mouse and keyboard and couldn't for the life of him get it working. The issue with my dad is that he never lets you touch the computer when he needs help. 20 minutes and 20 questions later, I finally ask if he plugged in the USB receiver. Answer? "It's wireless, it should just... work!"2
-
My dad, who doesn't know shit about programming, but knows absolutely everything about perseverance and motivation.2
-
Today, my dad can finally ditch his iPhone 4 which is passed down from my eldest sis to my mom and to my dad, all thanks to my brother-in-law getting a Samsung Galaxy J7 on Black Friday.
Finally. No more Apple bullshit in my house!! NO FUCKING MORE!!! *insert hysterical laughter* GOODBYE STUPID 20-PIN CHARGER CABLE~ GOODBYE ITUNES~ GOODBYE ICLOUD~ FUCK YOU!!!7 -
My dad coded in vim.
I code in VS Code.
My son will code in VS Code.
But his son, will code in vim.13 -
Hi guys, my little 2yrs daughter started speeking of each Word "sudo". E. G. "Sudo hi dad". Whats wrong?5
-
Son: I've done good investment in Bitcoins
Dad: What is the rate of interest in Bitcoins?
Son: There is no such thing called rate of interest in Bitcoins. Bitcoins are virtual currency. It's kind of money itself.
Dad: So you gave money and got back money? It's not called as an investment. It's called getting change!5 -
Friend: "I'm so tired of coding. I've been pressured to do it since I was 9. My dad worked for Sun and he was so obsessed with coding that he even named our dogs Java and Scratch" 😂7
-
Today I showed my dad some of the projects I’ve been woking on, he said to me son show me something that makes money.
I had nothing.13 -
My dad thinks I'm a lazy twat... (He studied computer sience as well)
Every other member of my family thinks I'm a wizard, Harry.2 -
My dads latest wisdom:
"Back in the days there were two types of people that whisper to themselves while walking down the street:
1. people that are building a house,
2. crazy people"
** looks at me ***
"... and in the recent times programmers are special category"3 -
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?
Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you
Me: Not now dad
Dad: Not asking for a Software Engineer are they?
Me:Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now
Dad: Go see if "Deploying code to production" helps.2 -
My dad thinks keeping old messages in whatsapp can make his Moto G4 phone hang.
He just doesn't understand when i try to convince him it is technically not possible and deletes old messages one by one everyday
😶
6 -
Dad just came to me: "I have a great idea for an app you could build"
I thought "Wow.. That's cliché"5 -
When my dad is answering questions about what job i'm doing, he always says 'He designs websites'. :(6
-
When putting my kids to bed today I said: "See you next year!" The looks I got were priceless.
But wait, there's more. Tomorrow I get to get to say, "I haven't seen you since last year!"4 -
So my story has some little backstory.
I got into computers and technology because of my dad. He was very enthusiastic when I was little and when I grew older and started my apprenticeship as a software developer he was really proud. Note that he never learned anything like that. He just loved computers and games.
Now to the story itself.
I learned more and more, also about networking and came to the conclusion that our slow internet and rare internet problems probably come from stock/weird configurations. But my dads proud probably told him thats a thing he still has to do as the dad. But it annoyed me so much that I booted into kali linux, loaded an exploit to get the web admin passwort and cracked it within a minute. 😎
Finally I was able to configure everything correctly ( channels were spammed from neighbours so I switched to very unused and the disturbions got less ).
TL;DR: Dad didnt want me to configure our router and didnt give me the admin password, so I booted Kali Linux and used an exploit to get it myself 😎😎3 -
It's really nice of Microsoft to let us use our computers for 18 hours a day and not 12, Thanks dad.2
-
!Rant
I hope that my daughter takes an interest in STEM stuff. I’m going to introduce it early on for her. (She’s only 9 months old right now) but I’m admittedly nervous that she won’t have a hyper curious nature as she grows up. I was always super curious about learning about how things work, even though my parents never gave two thoughts about it. I don’t think that being curious and wanting to explore the inter-workings of stuff is learned so I’m just hoping she is a curious little-shit like I was as a kid hahaha.15 -
My fiancée is helping her dad setup an iTunes account and it's just painful to listen too. I can't take much more of this.1
-
So I had this conversation with my dad
Background : He saw news about some celebrity's Twitter account got hacked.
Dad : Do you know how to hack a Twitter account?
Me : No dad. There are ways for people who do this kind of stuff.
D : But, you studied software engineering!
M : Yeah, but I don't do hacking.
D : Although hacking is not ethical but everyone should know about their field.
*Awkwardly left the room*
Just because I studied computer science doesn't mean that I SHOULD know hacking.
And this is not the first conversation of this kind!4 -
Writing 'echo var' instead of 'echo $var' in a shell has the result of the system successfully dad joking you
-
My dad actually. He's been in the industry for 40+ years. (Mostly answers my questions with a question and we end up talking about a whole different concept but in the end he's an amazing teacher.)1
-
I think this guy deserve to be place here.
Translation for kids part
" I will complain to dad about you then you will get punished"
1 -
My dad has had an android phone for about 3 years now. He just learnt that the big circle at the bottom takes you to the home screen. I love my dad.2
-
Mom: So you "play" on your computer all day.
Dad: You're not fit enough to be working with computers all day.2 -
For the first two years of college or so, my dad would often ask when I was going to start taking apart computers in classes.
"Dad, we don't do that."
....
"No, I'm learning about the software aspect."
...
"Never."1 -
When you boast to your dad/mom about the code write,
And they ask you to fix their washing machine.
:'( -
Always on the lookout for freelance projects but can't even make a website for dad's business.
alert("Disappointing Son");3 -
Dad: You should rather consider being a mechanic.
Mother: Why can't you finish university and work as a banker?
Me: I don't give a heck1 -
My dad just thought I'd grow out of my "gaming and PC 24/7" phase and didn't really care about the Tech. But when I started studying to be a dev he gave full support. "Do anything you like except ride motorbikes, do drugs or be a sailor, so long as you can sustain yourself" was the message carried across generally.1
-
@cozyplanes birthday is coming.....
And my dad is asking if I want some presents....
But I can't think of one.
I already have decent headphones and earphones, speaker, keyboard, mouse, laptop, monitor, phone, and tablet...
I personally don't need anything now, but I want to get something.
Can anyone recommend hardware stuff for me? (not software) Mostly tech related, but if you can think of music stuff or leisure stuff (like boosted board, even tho I don't have the time to ride it), that's great too!
Will waiting for you guys/gals suggestions.
P.S. Ofc I want to get my own A320 or A350, but I am pretty sure my dad can't afford it. If any of you guys/gals have the money, please contact me.14 -
JavaScript would say:
I am just as popular as my Dad but nothing like my Dad. Did I mention that I make new babies everyday. -
Just remembered an old dad story:
Around 30 years ago I started a game on my Commodore 64, I was about 15 at the time, and back then you had to load the games from cassette tapes.
So I started the cassette player and waited for the game to load, and when it was done I stopped the tape. My dad saw this and he asked :
- "Why did you stop the tape if you want to play the game?"
And I guess it is kind of natural for someone who used cassette tapes for listening to music, to say that :-) Still I laughed at my dad...3 -
me: Dad I got a job! It's...
dad: great! you can help pay mortgage!
me: oh shit, should have said nothing..1 -
I don't know what i could write to get sticker... I'm no dad... I'm not home... I dont want to post already postet jokes... Mehh...3
-
So today is actually my mom's birthday. My dad got creative (after he watched this videos http://video.weibo.com/show/...)
7 -
So my dad wants to try out Linux. I’m thinking of giving him Ubuntu Budgie or Linux Mint Cinnamon... Any suggestions?4
-
My mum wants to learn how to use a computer. She wants to help my dad in his business in case something needs to be done and neither me nor my dad are (currently) available.
Will be .... a great challenge, since she didn't use a desktop computer almost ever, but i'm nevertheless proud of her and will try my best to help her😍😊😎6 -
My dad bought a book on introduction to Macromedia Flash.
I came for the animations, stayed for the coding. -
My dad got us a a home computer on ~1995 without video games. But he brought a software where we can program our own games. So, we learn programming.4
-
*tentatively watching movie*
Some family standing in front of a house.
Kid asks: dad, what is this?
Dad: homepage
Me: ??
It took me way to long to realize that the kids name is Paige and the place is their new house. I hate it when that happens.1 -
Child to Mark Zuckerberg: My dad is saying that you are spying on us.
Mark Zuckerberg: he is not your dad4 -
Programmer son's ask s his father:
Dad, why do the sun rise on the east and set on the west?
Father: it's works? don't touch it.2 -
Me: *tries to convince my dad to use linux*
Dad: ohh, but what about programs?
Me: I think you’ll find what you need. You mostly use spreadsheet anyway. What you’re looking for?
Dad: Ohh you know, there used to be this very good spreadsheet program, I forgot how it was called...
Me: LibreOffice? WPS Off...
Dad: Lotus 1-2-3!7 -
Changed home wifi password to "Don't ask me shit"
and my dad asked for the password for his new device
guess how it ended
😂🤣5 -
!rant
Every time I think about how I at least had a dad till 10-11 years old, i think about my brother. How he had a dad until he was only 1, and by the time he turned 18 years old, when he could finally go see him, his dad was dead. And whenever the subject comes up its always "I didnt even know him bro. Why would I be upset?"
And it kills me inside he'll never know what it feels like to have a dad.
Sometimes I drink to stop thinking of shit like this.1 -
Me: So I'm going to study CS.
Dad: Are you going to be an engineer?
Me: Well I'll be a software engineer!
Dad: ???
Me: I'll write software for computers.
Dad: So you're not going to really be an engineer? So you are going to waste your life on those stupid computers... What did I do wrong.
😑😑😑 -
A little reflection on the relationship between me/my dad/computer:
When i was younger my dad showed and taught me how to work on his (10 - 15yrs+ old) laptop running windows xp. Soon we got a simple desktop pc (those ones that took nearly a minute to start). i remember my dad sayin something like "don't download anything cause (the pc will brake/it will be a virus/...)", I don't remember exactly ... but i know that i still did it (being fucking nervous😅) and it went well😌. later me and my little sister would go to "spielaffe.de" several times until getting some kind of "virus"😅😅.
Time passed and i got passionate about pc's (programming, trying Ubuntu, reading about internals of a pc,...). It didn't take long that i passed my dad's knowledge and so here i am studying CS😎.
In the end, regarding my dad:
first he was the master i looked up to, then he became the buddy i talked to and asked for problems, then ... he remained the light user who would like to return to his windows xp era and asks me first as his personal google when something happens out of his "comfort-zone"😅😌.
And sometimes i believe my dad is becoming incompetent for pc's😂😅 -
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there
-
Helped dad around the house yesterday. It made me feel a tad less depressed, until this morning when I looked at job ads again. 😒10
-
My dad was a young guy, and I like animation like young kid...
I found my dad's hentai porn on his computer. Sorry dad.2 -
My dad in 2002 to 7 year old me: "I got you your own domain, this is how you upload files to it. Good luck!"
But the first experience was him recording some of my first sentences. I love my dad <3 -
2007. I was four. We had a dell pc as the family computer. My dad and mom borh had laptops for themselves and their work. It ran windows xp I think and I used it to cartoonnetwork.com and play games on it. We still have the PC so that is cool. The first time I programmed though was 5 years later on my dad's laptop when he started teaching me c#.1
-
My dad asks me to rip YouTube videos to DVD...even though I bought him a Roku.
I guess he likes having a contingency plan.2 -
Honestly, i don't give a fck about getting job in tech companies of nature like TCS or Cognizant. So stop talking about them to be dad!
Wish he would understand that.2 -
My dad was using notepad to edit some HTML for his website. I downloaded Visual Studio Code and he likes it SO MUCH MORE. (I wonder why....).
Kinda happy I could help him with it. He is pretty good at coding but just hasn't done it in a while (not his trade) so he doesn't know all the new tools and such.3 -
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Then Ok.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That's business...!!2 -
I have been trying to come up with some funny oil jokes. My wife said they were all crude.
I am feeling a bit boolean. I am either on or off.
I shouldn't try to make up jokes. I have to face it that they are a shade unfunny.2 -
Best way to start a new year? Force deleting all the malware my dad has somehow accumulated in his laptop...
-
Am I reposting? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So, I am going on vacations, don't have any returning plans rn ^~^
Don't miss your dad ಠ_ಠ -
I try to pay attention to my moods. So when I have strong feelings I will tell my wife about them. I was talking to her on the phone on the way home.
me: It is the horny time of the month.
her: Oh, okay, thanks.
me: Yeah, it comes and goes...
her: <sigh>
At this point I realized I had made a really dirty dad joke.
me: Oh, that was bad wasn't it?
her: Yeah, it was bad.
me: I have ascended to subconscious dad joke competence.
her: Okay, sure.
me: Was it funny?
her: No.
me: Really?
her: I just like to tell you I think it's not funny.
me: You are trolling me?
her: Yes.
me: Damn it! -
“You want to survive and steps ahead from the others when you grow up? Learn english” - my dad
I’m from wkwkland and holy fuck it’s true. -
I'm trying to convince my dad to switch to the Linux. Everyday he complains about his laptop being slow (although it has pretty much same specs like my laptop), the forced updates on Windows 10, how long it takes to load programs and stuff. He only uses Opera and LibreOffice for work, he doesn't have iPhone so he's not locked by iTunes. Perfect case study!
Yet every time I tell him that Linux doesn't force updates on you, runs faster and has all the software he needs, he says that "he's not a programer like I am". Then I reply to him "and that's a thing! Linux Mint for example doesn't even require to open terminal" (plus few years back he wanted to try it out)...
Any tips boys and girls? Should I give up or not? I mean, forcing the change will not do, but I also don't want to hear complains about Windows every day.12 -
My dad needs my help with an excel sheet and calls me "Hey, need your help to do X, but this computer doesn't allow me to do, how can i do it?"
Me, who has already used skype, teamviewer and (Wahtsapp) video call several times (him too!) and got things done faster this way:"let's do a video call (whatsapp) so you can show me and i can help you better" (my dad thinks teamviewer is too complicated to use)
my dad "oh come on please, i don't have time for this, let's do it this way!"
After i tried to explain him that it would take far more time on the phone, needing him to explain what he sees, telling him the advantages of a video call right now, he ended like "ok forget about it!"
as he said that i kinda fell in a rage, quit the call myself and almost threw the phone against smth.
Seriously how hard can it be??? it's just few phone taps away😥, i would have even proposed to video call him myself to make things easier for him! But he prefers the classical-phone-way which every time takes half an hour just to understand where he's at.
It's just frustrating every time...2 -
I learned to program with the joy of the command line and ASCII rocket ships printed and shell games on GWBasic. It was fat spiral bound manual my Dad gave me when he worked at EDS. My dad then tried to press me to leaning a program for calculating prime and perfect numbers. My dad sort of forgot I was only six and hadn't learned division yet.1
-
Nothing like having your hands full with work projects, then getting a message from your, not so technically knowledgeable, dad, which says that he's going to remove linux from your old laptop and replace it woth windows.
By himself.....
Tried talking him out of it, but je's adamant about it.
Should I call an ambulance?
I also feel really bad for my old laptop now -
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there1
-
Friend: <tells me a joke>
Me: Hahahaha! That is so humerus!
Friend: It is spelled: humorous.
Me: Yeah, I really boned the spelling on that one. -
Son: Dad jokes are just bad.
Me: That is why they are called "bad jokes".
Son: I hate you...
Me: I know.1 -
What happens when downloading files is fast?
Downloading Files Flies
or Downloading Flies
It sounded better in my head. Now it is awkward. Do you feel awkward? Stop it dad, you are embarrassing me and yourself!
My job here is done.3 -
Saw my dad doing some frontend work alongside the devils spawn work (PHP), when I was 8 years old. Ever since I've fallen in love with programming, especially in backend work.
-
My dad used to make me draw things on Microsoft Paint when I was 4 to 6.
I'll never forget all those "firefighter helicopters" -
So I'm visiting my dad, he was a Novell engineer, now works on my grandpa's junkyard, and He wants to me develop a system to handle inventory and stuff, but he asks me to broom and fix CCTV cameras, and then has me doing nothing, so I'm thinking of saying
I'M A PROGRAMMER, A DAMN GOOD ONE, THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING
Thank you devrant btw for providing a nice shelter for my anger and boredom2 -
A man dies, but how did everyone know he was sick? They saw his coffin.
Ted passes gas in a meeting. Manager: You have gone to far Ted!
I have named my oven Michael Jackson. It takes far to long to pre-hee-heat!2 -
Dad: what do you do in IT classes
Me: mostly, learning new languages!
I'll never forget that confused face of his. Of course I explained him there were languages in informatics to. Still, it was pretty funny explaining it all. I'm happy he really thinks informatics is the future! -
Why are those little plastic toy soldiers called "Army Men"?
Because "Leggy Men" sounds weird.
(This is one of the jokes that got me shadow banned on r/DadJokes. Which I find both hilarious and satisfying.)2 -
It was the mid 80s, and Dad had a Spectrum. I played games like Pud Pud and The Secret of Levitation.
-
What are you guys reading?
I just finished Rich Dad Poor Dad and gonna start the art of learning by Joshua Waitzkin.7 -
Mom: "This makes sense. You were always good with the computers."
Dad: "Can you help get my game working on my computer." -
I started programming in Basic. Years later I was in a shop and asked my dad to buy me a book "to create games". He bought me a Javascript introductory book. Never got after chapter 1, though years later I regretted it...
-
me: Mum, Dad I want to a developer like [my older brother's name]
mum: I don't know what you guys do anyway. just make sure to be the best at it.
dad: Good luck, don't forget to start your own company soon enough. -
Dad: Son, please put a liner in the trash.
Son: Argh, okay... <grumbles and starts>
Dad: Its just a one liner. It doesn't even have to be funny.
Son: <GROAN!> ... I hate you ...1 -
It was in the bakery of my dad, where we always could play this mini golf game on his IBM PC. I think it was on Win95.
-
Three days ago:
Found my eOS had crashed. Got on my dad's spare Dell Latitude (by God, the keyboard is awesome) and downloaded an image file for Ubuntu.
Fast Forward to today morning :
Apparently, my dad never did down either of his laptops, or even lock. The Latitude had a update but it then started reverting it. It went into a loop.
My dad: what did you do?! It was working perfectly before, you must have crashed it.
What the fuck dad... Thankfully, he got it up and running later.3 -
Dad come home with a computer from his office that they where going to "throw away"... taught me how to move icons around
-
my dad who gave me his old pc when i was 10years and the desire to understand whats going on in this machine.
-
I have two knees. They could be considered to be brothers to each other.
So do I have "knee bros" or "bro knees"?3 -
I discovered "view source", and took the rabbit hole from there... My dad is also in IT so that helped too.
-
What do you call a programming language with a version of 3.14159?
π-thon
Coincidentally this is also what you call a snake that is 3.14159 feet long.1 -
Das: So you are studying Computer Science?
Me: Yes!
Dad: Can you repair my TV?
Me: No!
Dad: Who is studying the technical staff?2 -
Probably be an electrician with my dad. It's my fallback in case being a comp sci teacher doesn't work out.
-
oh dear the stocktaking i did (maybe am still doing? don't know whether it's done yet🤷) with my dad for his little shop😩
his pc/office skills had begun with microsoft excel (he taught me how to use a pc all together) ... and have stopped there. Excel for almost everything. To be fair, he uses PCs like a normal user and isn't of that metier, ok fine🤷.
but when i saw the table he uses, which he copied over the years from the previous versions (still ok), i quickly found out that his table entries were written by him FOR HIM. it was very hard for me to help him (he tells me the article he sees in his storage, i have to include, so i look it up in the table and do stuff) as he had nicknames for his articles that only he associated with😐.
next he prints out a list a company has given to him where he buys some products from, which is ordered by id number ... my dad works with the correspnding names instead so of course all product names are random😑, so every time i need a price for an article he has to scan every list item. you've guessed it, n² search😪😒.
i tell him multiple times to call the company and send him a list in alphabetical order but he refuses as "we've almost finished" ... 🙄 (i'm not allowed to ask for him, as the company will only talk with the responsible one😑)
so I'm tied to a pc, talking to my dad over phone, who has to walk around and has to help me very often to find the article he's meaning to, at the end, do a n² search to add all the prices....😩
I absolutely want to help him automate things for sanity's sake🤔😅
install databases, connect via internet, connect to companies databases for up-to-date prices etc., make some desktop/web app/i don't know for fast access and boom...
and i don't even know where to start and where to find the time for it and whether it's even all possible😅🤔😐🤷
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