*Mom shows me laptop ad of 3000 bucks with the most overkill specs ever*

Mom: "Son, will this laptop run Google?"

Me: "Do you want to surf Google or actually run Google's server?"

Mom: *looks confused*

"I also want to use Fesabook on it"

Me: *brings her a 5 year old laptop with a new ssd in it*

*has an old i3, 8gb ram and no gpu*

Mom: "This laptop is super fast! Thanks son!"

*One hour later*

*Mom calls*

"Son, I think the laptop broke"

Me: "What? What happened?"

Mom: "I pressed a button and now all the keys are lighting red" (backlit keyboard)

Me: "You can choose the color of your keyboard mom"

Mom: "Ooh! How do I make it pink?"

Me: "You can only choose between red and blue..."

Mom: "What a ripoff"

*Hangs up the phone*

Random guy : Well I'm not tracked on the internet, I use private tabs.
Me : Well, I'm not sleeping with your mom, I use condoms

I fucking love my parents.

Came to visit them again and told them that I might buy an iPhone in the future (I fucking hate apple/i-devices and they know that).

Mom: "You are going to WHAT? Are you okay, son?"
Dad: *walks towards me and puts hand on forehead* "Hmmm, doesn't seem to be that warm. Maybe we should visit a psychiatrist soon."

Me: 😂. mom, dad, I fucking love you.

Mom : My washing machine is not working.
Please fix it.
Me : I am a computer engineer.
Mom : You are an engineer though.
Me : That's not how it works.
.
.
.
2 hours and many YouTube tutorials later
Me : It's done.
Mom : Didn't I tell you you can do it.

*Me Calling the NSA..

[NSA]: Hello, how can I help you !
[ME]: Hello, this is the NSA right?
[NSA]: Yes
[ME]: Since you are recording all phone calls, I have a little request.
[NSA]: And What is that?
[ME]: My mom called me couple hours ago to bring something from the supermarket, her phone is off.. What did she told me to bring?
[NSA]: beep..beep..beep

This was my birthday cake. Thanks mom!

mom: call your friends

me: okay hold on

myFriends();

(\____/)
( ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)
\╭☞ \╭☞

week 119

@dfox way to convince people for clean their desk

I hope everyone's wife / mom is feeling proud.
ʘ‿ʘ

Amazed my mom actually took time to research some programming languages for my birthday cake 😁

My mom walks in and asks what am I doing and I said hacking government files and she called the police thanks mom😑

Dad is also a dev/architect. Mom barely knows how facebook works. So essentially she thinks I'm either playing games or working hard. Dad knows I'm just playing games.

Its not what it looks like... mom...

*Prints hello world*
"Mom, I'm a hacker."

Son: Dad why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Because your Mom loves roses! Son: Thanks dad!
Dad: No problem, vue.js

Mom : what do you want to be?
Child : engineering
Mom : why?
Child : because engineer never study.
🤥😅😂😂🤐

Mom: "I need simple computer to browse the web with chrome"
Me :

Mom: what are you doing ?

Me: i'm installing daemons in my computer.

Mother: *sprays me with holy water

My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn

dfox is like our virtual mom. Even if no one likes our rants he will always like it 😃

When I left the house to work abroad my mom called me.

Mom: “every time you touch the computer things change!”

Me: “I haven’t touched it in months, what’s the problem?”

Mom: “my google has changed, please put it like before!”

The same phone call, day after day, I couldn’t figure what she meant and she was getting pissed off.

Then I realized, it was just the google doodle...

Mom: You should do stuff with blockchain.

Me: Why, I don't believe in blockchain on the long run.

Mom: You should start believing in blockchain and you should start using it for all your stuff.

Me: Mom, i really appreciate that you are trying to help, but why are you saying this? My projects have zero to do with blockchain.

Mom: Blockchain is the future, because the media said so.

Me:...

Conversation with my mom the other day:

Mom - How do you use the screenshot button on the keyboard? (She has a Windows work laptop)

Me - Just press it.

Mom - I did that! It didn't do anything.

Me - Lol it's not supposed to do anything. It takes a picture of whatever is on your screen and you have to paste it somewhere like Paint to save the image.

Mom - Ohhh that's too much work. I use Snippit (or whatever the built in Windows screenshot app is called) and send it to myself in an email.
-------------------------
She takes a screenshot, pastes it in an email, and sends it to herself to save it. Hm.

Then she told me tonight that she needed to screenshot these questions in a quiz she was taking. I kid you not - she took a screenshot of 2 questions at a time, pasted them in an email that she sent to herself, and then printed the email. She did this for 40 questions so she printed out 20 emails with screenshots of quiz questions. She also printed out the 200 page manual she needs to study and deleted the pdf. Mom, seriously? What if you need to find something in that 200 page manual? It's so much easier to ctrl + F to find a specific word or phrase. Ohh it doesn't matter she says, there's an index.

I'm proud of my mom.... She's teaching herself WordPress and photo editing so she can help my dad's business :D

I disagree with WordPress entirely, but seeing my mom(who can barely create a new folder) teach herself something computer related is awesome.

When you think that you can control your mother.

Me: Mom sudo make me a sandwich.
Her: You fool I'm a Windows user

Family reaction story to me being a dev?

- My dad still refers to my profession as 'something in computers'.
- My older sister goes to her weirdo friends for technical advice because she thinks all I do is fill paper in printers (that's a long TL;DR story about a phone upgrade)
- My brother, a car mechanical genius thinks what I do is near God-like. He also races cars and can blabber on about the physics, aero-dynamics, weight ratios, etc and says "Oh, no way. I'm too stupid to do what you do." Then I'm like, "Dude, shut up, I can barely change my oil and you could replace an engine blindfolded", then he just laughs "Yea, probably."
- Baby sister just wants me to fix her phone. "Can you make <insert some random app> do <insert a random behavior the app was never designed to do>?". I'm like "Uh no, I didn't write Instagram", then she's like "I thought you went to school for computers?".
- My mom passed way (long battle with cancer). I'm sure she'd be proud, but still asking me to how to switch the channel so she could watch a movie on the VCR.
I can clearly see having this conversation with my mom.
Me: "Mom, why are you still using a VCR? I bought you a subscription to Netflix"
Mom: "Net what? Do I turn the dial to channel 2 or 3?"
Me: "No, its the Netflix button on the remote."
Mom: "Can't you come over and do this? I just want to watch my shows. Didn't you go to school to learn these things?"
Me: "No mom, that's not...um...never mind. I'll be right over."

Mom : both are the same u idiot, what the hell you are learning now days

Me : mom pls ;_;

When my mom asks about my problems :p

Me: "Mom, dad, I'm a programmer"
*dad suddenly becomes sad, gives mom 50 bucks*

Look guys what my Mom made for me :D

Mom : there's a letter for you. It's from USA. Are you in trouble ?

Me : oooouh shit what have I done ?

Fiuuuuu..NSA still not tracking my buggy code 😂

badass mom😂

Mac dad and windows mom 💏

Your mom is so fat, the recursive function calculating her weight causes a stack-overflow

My mom asking about photo storage...
"You said google photos is a cloud... Can I have iCloud and Google photos or would that cause a thunderstorm?"

Mom : why were you late?
Me : Got lot of bugs in office.
Mom : Is everyone alright? Did you kill them?
Me : No mom we fix them.
Mom : I thought we kill them.
How humane are you guys.

Me - okay mom im going to sleep don't bother me.

Mom - okay goodnight sweet heart.

Me - *puts on headphone , have a cup of coffee and begin to code*

Me: Mom, I'm learning a new programming language
Mom: How is it called
Me: go
Mom: do u like it?
Me: yes, it's pretty
Mom: do u like it more than linux?

When your mom is more excited with the robot you built!

Made this for my mom for one of her projects.
May not be 100% accurate, but I was lazy so that means it's close enough. 😋

When you go to some tech meet up and your​ mom thinks you went​ to some kind of 4 years old kids' birthday party

Working for ISIS

My mom saw my code 3 or 4 days ago and she said 'are you working for ISIS?' 😕

Worked from 11 pm to 9 am. Mom saw that I didn't sleep. She gave me this. Moms be the best!

my dad taught me to love linux.

my mom taught me to accept people who love apples and windows.

Enough with the toolbars, Mom!

My mom: "there's a virus in my phone! It says so when I open Chrome!"
Me: "...stop clicking on strange links that your friends send you, mom. Nobody will ever give you free Nespresso capsules for life as a gift."

Every damn time.

My mom thinks I'm going to be the next Elon Musk
My sister thinks I'm crazy... She saw me talking to my rubber duck 😂😂😂

In 2004 my mom decided to put Ethernet cables into the walls of our house, which is very awesome. Now i found out that the're Cat6!

My mom always supported my decisions and usually when I'm coding at home she'll sit next to me and see me code. She always say that Sublime is pretty with the theme I have.

8 year old girl meets a classic typewriter at Norsk Vegmuseum.

"Mom! Mom! Look! It prints immediately!"

My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and go to market she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn.

his mom taught him manners
when you steal a laptop that's what you do

So my mom told me I should stop playing games...

....When she literally saw me flashing OpenWrt in a Linksys router...

chotto matte nani sore

My mom is trying to convince me that being good at Latin is more important than knowing how to program / spending time learning it.

Your mom is like a windows filesystem

FAT32

So my mom just sent me this...

Today my mom gave me a 2 meter by 1,20 meter whiteboard. She says that that might help me to achieve my dreams with what i am doing on my computer. This is amazing.

I'm a network engineer. Mom questions my skills when I tell her to just reset the router, but when customer service tells her to, she acts like she's listening to the voice of god.

Mom response to printing to console.

Son: Dad what's a infinite loop?
Dad: I don't know ask your mom!.
Son: Mom what's a infinite loop?
Mom: I don't know ask your dad!.
Son: Dad what's a infinite loop?
Dad: I don't know ask your mom!.
Son: Mom what's a infinite loop?
Mom: I don't know ask your dad!
........ 😒

Mom: Hey, my computer is doing weird stuff again, you know what that means?
Me: *I should have become lawyer instead of IT*
Mom: And the microwave makes a beeping sound. Fix it.

I wanted a long, secure(ish) password.

I opened VI editor and told my mom to close it..

My mom just showed me this on her facebook news feed and said, " Look <insert nickname>, it's the same "e" browser you've asked me not to use !!"

so my mom wanted to write some word document, but she didn't use her laptop for like ~5 years, it didn't boot up so she asked me to fix, now here is what I found :
>the laptop had a 240 gb hdd
>the hdd was literally broken
>bought her a new 500 gb hdd
>installed windows 7
>took 10 mins to install
>took 19 minutes to boot up
>removed windows 7
>installed win xp
>took 30 mins to install
>took 3 minutes to boot up
>opened windows
>checked pc specs
>see picture below
>[insert wtf gif here]
>installed drivers
>took 20 minutes to install drivers
>[insert epic music here]
>tried installing office 2016
>insta regret
>tried installing office 2010
>memory farted and I couldn't even move the cursor
>installed office 2007
>mom started writing document peacefully
>after 2 hours bsod
>mom asks me to fix
>opens laptop to check internal components
>the cpu had a black hole inside
>the fans weren't working due to the circuit being burnt for some reason
>kills laptop
>kills mom
>kills self
>live peacefully in hell

Mom: Go outside a play.
Me: One I finish a couple more lines..
Mom: Get your #ss of the damn computer and go outside! BTW, I'm a 11 year old coder/programmer if you were wondering..

Me: sits in front of pc with terminal open in fullscreen

Mom: comes in and looks at screen, says:
'you are only playing games all day, do something useful! '

The problem with me programming lately :

Mom: foooood is ready...

Me: Will be there in a minute. (deep inside I know that's a lie).

5 minutes later...⏰

Mom: food is getting cold!

Me: Yes I'm coming, testing one last thing...I swear !

30 min later I'll join the table...The guilt 😩 I'm sorry mommy 🙏

Anybody else with the same problem? 😅

"who is 'Drew Paul? And why do you hate him so much?"
"It's D-R-U-P-A-L, mom. And don't worry about it, you don't need that aggravation in your life."

"Nothing good will ever come of this computer thing of yours. Stop wasting time and learn something useful."
. . .
My Mom was telling me this for years.

Me: rm -rf /
Bash: permission danied

Mom: don't forget the magin word 😊

Me: alias please="sudo"
please rm -rf /
Bash: BOOM ! 🎆

while we were in the car...

mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job

My mother seems to disengage her brain when using a computer, so you must give instructions in exacting detail...

Me: Close that window.
Mom: Um, ok?
Me: ... Click the little red button at the top left...
MS Word: Save document? Yes / No
Mom: ... Now what?
Me: Well, do you want to save that?
Mom: Yes! ...
Me: ... so... click Yes...

... and I die a little more inside...

Everyone is updating their privacy policy because of GDPR while my mom still busts into my room without knocking.... She hasn't read the GDPR has she?

mom asks how to access photos on her laptop:
me : "Double click on 'my computer',"
mom with a lot of confidence: "but the photos are on my computer, not yours!"

*while visiting my parents once in while*

Mom : son, help! I have a problem with my [insert technological device here]!

Me : ugh... Here we go again. *Applies physical presence near mom and said problematic device*

Mom : oh, well... It's working now! Thanks!

Me : numberOfFixes++; // ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My mom was not aware of the "forward" option in mails for many years. If she needed to forward documents, she would print them from the original mail, scan them to her computer, and attach the scanned files to a new mail.
She also didn't realize she can just save them on her computer, in case she didn't want to forward the entire correspondence, but only the documents.
I'm so sorry trees, I didn't know 😂

Me: *coding peacefully*
Me: *remembers homework, responsibilities and that thing my mom told me to do*
Me: *coding stressfully*

Mom: You gave our keyboard a virus with your programming! You're not allowed to use the computer any more!
(the keyboard was 10 years old)

My dad's a silicone guy, my little brother is a java-dev, my mom works for the NHS.

I'm a web and mobile dev.

So... My dad and little bro think I do WordPress and my mom thinks she should earn more than me.

In her defence I'm an NHS patient and I also think her and anyone else in the health industry should earn more than me.

Explaining my mom about my job as backend developer... She couldn't understand what is there behind the website. She was like "u designed the website. It's done. What u do full day?"

Finally I gave an example of restaurant... I am the cook(backend developer). Front-end is waiter. Finally she understood....

Mom: Oh cool! So you can hack sites and accounts now?
Me: No mom.. I'll be making stuff, not breaking it.
Mom: Well what's the fun in that 😐
Me: ...

Tech support to family member:

Mom: "App just goes black after 30 seconds"
Me: "remove it and install again"
Mom: "how?"
Me: "tap the icon and hold till icon wiggles"
Mom: "doesn't do anything"
Me: "did you tap and hold?"
Mom: "hold what?"
Me:"Tap and and don't pull your finger up"
Mom: "Nothing... oh wait, yes it jiggles"
Me: "lift finger, tap the x that appeared on the icon, follow instructions"
Mom: "ok did that so what do I do now?"
Me: Grrrrrrrrr
Mom: "ok it's deleted"
Me: "Go to app store, and search for the app. after you tap the appstore icon, in a moment or so you should see a magnifying glass icon with the word search, tap that"
Mom: "nope no magnifying glass"
Me: ggrrrrrrr "yes their is one"
Mom: "nope"
Me: "yep"
Mom: "nope, it isn't their, I'M NOT STUPID YOU KNOW JUST BECAUSE I'M OLD!!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK I'M SO STUPID? THERE IS NO MAGNIFYING GLASS!!!"
Me: Deep, deep deep breath to the point of bursting my lungs (which is the preferable outcome)
Me: "top right corner or bottom right corner"
Mom: silence.... a few crickets in the background then some giggles followed with "Oh yea, their it is "....

20 minute call. no hi, how are you, how's your day. Just hello, I have a problem, it's fixed, bye.

Sometimes, and I don't want to sound mean BUT I wish we could pick our family.....

I've installed Ubuntu for her something like 2 years ago, because her Windows installation was fucked up. After that 2 years she aksed me to install her new computer and copy the personal documents from her old computer.

So I backed up all her personal stuff like photo's and so on and asked her if she would like me to install Ubuntu again. Then she said that she would love to get Ubuntu again, because it was much cleaner and easier than Windows 😁.

So, from now on, my mom is using Ubuntu instead of Windows. That makes me really proud of her.

When the deadline is near, but i need to wash the laundry becoz my mom will hide my laptop if I didn't.

My mom said her patient's son—or son in law I can't remember—is a software engineer...

Time to recruit someone into devRant! :D

Love it when my mom comes in my room and says “I know it doesn’t seem like it but your dad does love you”👌👌👌😔

guys my mom is a PM help

shes been telling me what to do on my personal projects for the last to days like:

Mom: "Make it so when I click it, it becomes brighter and displays all the info"

Me: "I mean I could yeah"

Mom: "No you have to do it, I don't like it otherwise"

Me: "I understand, but this is kinda my thing-"

Mom: " k yeah and get it done in 2 days"

Me: "...yes, master"

(On a real note, she actually is a PM... what was I expecting...)

Pfffft

My mom is good. She can even do basic coding.

Momma don't need me for tech stuff at all.

Mom: "What's this thing?" *hands me her phone*
Me: *sees dialog saying something about com.google.gms or so draining battery with obvious okay button*
Me: "...just press Okay."

Oh God
My mom just discovered dongers.
Send help
I can't take this

😭😷😫

Little love after hours of work but shit lies better than my mom now 😂

In 2012 my parents bought a new cordless phone with base station for their home. Worked fine.
Unless sometimes, nobody was reachable - mostly, when they weren't home - of course nobody would answer the phone.
Finally I called them one day, and mom answered the phon - "Hi, we are going to the mall now, when will you come ... bzz" - beep beep. Nothing until I came home.
They just came back from the mall, when I arrived. And mom said - this phone won't work - and took the cordless phone out of her bag, which she took to the mall ... yes. mom - that's no mobile ... I had to explain.

Me: "Inherits a project"

Me: "Reads code"

Me: "Mom, pls put me back to kindergarten, I just wanna color drawing books again"

you guys complaining about doing PHP and WP because you needed money sounds like confessing about doing porn in college

"Sorry mom, but I really needed the money ..."

Mom seeing my wallpaper saying, "that's exactly you there". <3 DevRant

"STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY"

Mom can't distinguish between me writing GUI and playing video games 😅

I never have thought I receive one. Thanks! devRant ppl -- @dfox && @trogus. My mom gave the mail to me at T5:00, still sleeping and asked if I have a penpal in NY. HAHAHA!

Hands.
Imagine how hard typing could be without hands.
"Look Mom!! No hands"
*bashing head on memeboard to code*
*best tool ever*

When you spent the whole day programming in Swift and your mom says that she fucked up her windows 7 machine and you gotta make a clean install (I hate fixing stupid mistakes made by non tech users)

My parents r pretty helpful with me programming. They r very supportive 😊😊

I even tell my mom how things work and she takes a lot of interest in understanding as well! She is my own rubber ducky ❤️❤️

My dad is busy and not a tech minded person so he is kinda ignorant about tech, but never stops encouraging me 😊😊

Go my mom and dad!! Yaaay 😍😍

Your mom is so fat, that she will never be able to have more than 4GB.

Since I started caring about privacy so much my mom thinks that I have something to hide.

Hell yeah I have.

Mom bought me this mousepad... Written in visual basic...
What's worse is that the code has five lines that have been commented out

Mom: My mouse doesn't move
Me: Have you tried disconnecting and reconnecting it?
Mom: How do I do that?
Me: Well, follow the cable from the mouse to the computer
Mom: Is the computer the black box? Then I've disconnected it
Me: Ok, good, then reconnect it
Mom: It doesn't fit
Me: ...

Look us now

Mom: why haven't you been doing your computer science homework at home ?
Me : because you won't let me have a computer and I can't run the software I need on my school iPad
Mom: bull shit you can run it that iPad can do anything that you can do on a computer
Me : no you can't that's not even...*mom cuts me off*
Mom : don't talk back to me you just don't wanna do your homework
Mom: all computers are the same they just have different names
Me : that's not even true in the slightest... *gets cut off again*
Mom: shut up and do your damn homework
Me: 😐

Soo.. My mom thinks that I should get a real job instead of playing computer all day...

Your mom is popped more often than my stack

So mum wanted me to purchase her a new lettop.
Yeah, we just spoke.
While consulting on what she needs, I noticed that little flaw. So I gently told her :"mum, it's written with an A".
Mom goes:" aaaah! A LAB-TOP!"

Could not blame her. She made her life as first best scoring woman in business degree at her time.
And sure enough she understood laptop and we laughed a lot ='D

I use Linux, not because it is easy.

If I want something easy, I would ask your Mom.

"Cannot read property of undefined."
You mom is undefined, bitch!

What Java taught me :
--- Parent p = new Child( ); -- error
--- Child c = new Parent( ); -- ok
parent can exist without a child but child cannot exist without parents.
Respect your Mom and Dad

Oh shoot..

My mom runs a website and I have to help sometimes. Which is fine.

The problem is, it's a WordPress site.

A son asks his mom,
"Why are computers smart?"

Mom replies, "Because they listen to their motherboard" 😄

My mom

My mom passed away in 2014. Were it not for the pain she was in all her life, I’d love to have her back and I’d gladly provide all the computer help she’d need.

wdym Family reaction story?

"When the truth eventually came out that I was a dev, my mom wouldn't stop crying and my dad still doesn't talk to me." ?

Mom: My printer won't start. Can you FIX it?
Me: Mom, I am a coder, I don't know jack about hardware.

A week later....

Mom: My printer won't start. Can you FIX it?
Me: This question is marked as duplicate and closed as off-topic. 🤖

Hangs up.

My mom asked me what I do for a living.
Me: I create bugs for a living

Grandmother: 'So do you use 1's and 0's for Programming?'

Mom: 'fix my Computer/Internet/handy/printer'

Does any1 had experienced this........ Once u have fixed ur mum's Computer and all its future problems is coz of u 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

Mom: what is it you do exactly?

Me: I make web sites and test computers for bugs.

Mom: What is a bug?

Me: it is when a program does something you do not want it to do.

Mom: k, I don't understand how money is made in that. But, you know (random store) is hiring.

Mom asked me one question.

How money transfer from one bank to another?

It was longest communication we ever had in few months.

I am happy for that question.
😊😊😊😊

The struggle is real:

"Honey, it's five in the morning. Go to bed!"

"But mom, I am programming this-"

"GO TO BED NOW!!!"

"Damn mom, chill. I'm going now"

music was playing on my computer so my mom came and lowered the volume on the speakers in order to save the electricity bill

Guy 1: Can I come to your house
Guy 2: No don’t I don’t want to be ashamed by my fat mother
Guy 1: How fat is your mom
Guy 2: FAT 32

Me: I want to be a dev..
Mom: But you only sit in front of the computer to play games.
Me: That's not what I always do.
Mom: Then why are you sitting behind the computer all the time.
Me: To make software. Most of the time you clearly see me typing code.
Mom: No, I can't trust you, you play too much games. Study hard and get another job.
Me: *Middle finger behind a back.*

Mom: "Hey! So when tour finished with your education as a programmer, can't you develop flying cars?"

Me: "... mom"

Hello, Club 1000!
I would like to thank my mom and dad, all of the ranters who have contributed to this achievement and you, @dfox and @trogus—without you this would not be possible.

When mom tells you to stop coding and sleep

My mom once called me telling me her internet was not working. Prankster me told her that the whole internet closed at 7 pm. She was like "okay, I'll wait until tomorrow morning then" (it was around 8pm)
I couldn't help laughing like crazy as I didn't expect her to believe me.
Of course I helped her out so that she could have her game of poker. (She won $10.000 that night) :-)

This was my first real programming bible. I remember reading it chapter after chapter in the car on long car trips as a youngster and being so excited about the stuff I was learning I would explain it to my mom in the front seat as I was learning it. I'm sure she didn't understand a word of it.

Funny thing is I still do that today, 25 years later. And I'm sure she still understands not a word!

So, what was the book that really got you into programming?

//Today 8:41 am
Mom: Son, the printer is messed up again(for the 12th time)
Me: Mom, again I don't know whats wrong with it
Mom: but you did computers and stuff
Me: send me a picture
// I go buy the same exact model i replace it.
Mom: Son, why is it black?
Me: :/

I told my mom that Facebook has all of her pictures and information. I asked her if she was okay with that? She replied,
“Que se la metan por el culo!”

Ironically, my younger brother (14 years old) is far worse in tech than my mom. Whenever I explain something to my mom, I have to tell her once and she gets it. But if it's my brother? Oh boy, sometimes you got to tell him quadruple times and he still won't get it...

Mom: it's time to go!
Me:
$ git commit -m "I have to go"
$ git push
I'm ready!

We had given my mom a phone recently, I found out that she never used it for the reason we gave it to her, and that is to be accessible whenever she leaves the house, Instead she kept the phone at our house and when in the house be always connected to the WiFi and watch WhatsApp videos and stuff that her old college/School friends sent. I had to give her a lecture for half an hour as to why she wasn't using the phone for what it is intended to do and threatened her to disconnect from the WiFi if she did this again. Damn! This teenage stuff again.

Teaching mom how to use a smartphone, everything is so hard...

TIL that ~50% of the population don't have an internal monologue. That voice inside your head that's reading this.

Mom come pick me up, I'm scared.

Remember, MOM is always watching!

"What's my email again?"
"Come on. yourfirstname@ourlastname.at."
"Ah, right."
and
"How do I unblock you on WhatsApp?"

Other than that, not much recently.

I am a walking German dictionary to her, however. I mean, I don't need to google it most of the time, so maybe not worth telling her to just google it :P

This happened when I finished highschool.

I was looking for a programming related career at university, and I had two options: Computer systems engineering or Software engineering. I commented this to my mom.

Me: Mom, this university offers Software engineering. The thing is that the campus is 1 hour from the city and it’s a new career, so I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not.
Mom: Why Software engineering? Don’t you want to be a developer?
Me: Yes, that’s why I was thinking of taking Software engineering
...
Mom: Is not “Software” what is inside the computer? (Inside the chasis on desktop computers)

I started laughing so hard 😂 and, of course, I ran away

Tfw nobody but your mom remembers your birthday. I just became 20 but holy shit I didn't think I would experience the world of an adult this quick

my mom says: "I've got an app [on my smartphone] so that I can call and internet via my phone at work, so I don't use any minutes or MBs! :) "
me: "So how does your phone communicate with your work phone then? "
my mom: "via the app"
me: "without using minutes or MBs?"
my mom: "yes"

me: "So how does your phone communicate with your work phone then? "
my mom: "via the app"
me: "without using minutes or MBs?"
my mom: "yes"
etc

A web developer's bookshelf. Pre and post career. Certainly makes the bugs, chores, dev bosses, and bullshit priorities (that take away from "code purity") all the more tolerable - and introspective. Thanks Mom!

Cool, now my mom and dad are on SnapChat too.

The very reason that made me a developper is back home from mom and dad's. Say hi, megadrive!

i was coming out of my mom and i looked to my right and it was that computer that always beats with her heartbeat and stuff

"Cannot read property length of undefined..."

That's not what your mom said last night.

at school, after the graduation ceremony my mom asked me: "so what was it again that you studied for?"

Computer scientist student:

Mom : Shut down the computer and start studying.
Me: Moooom I am studying.

My mom told me I can be anything, so I became a masochist.

A.k.a. how I started a career in software development.

My mom used to yell at me for being on the computer all day, until I showed her a check from one of web design gigs lol

Phone call with customers and their minutes-of-meeting writer.
Me: Blabla round robin algorithm.
Customer's MoM writer: What? How do you spell "robin"?
Me: Robin like in Batman.
Customer's MoM writer: Ah, ok.

!rant
>dreams something good
>enjoying it
>feeling it
>mom wakes me up
>dream stops
>yells at mom
>gets shouted back
>thinks of dream again
>was soo good
>see tag

Once I asked my mom about my dad. She told me he was like a void method. He never returns.

Telling my mom how to do computer stuff is like programming, I need to outline every fucking step. Yes this includes file management.

I broke my keyboard while coding.
My mom was like.. u don't treat things with respect.
And I was like.. " my life's shit!! "

Quick question: Does your mom understand what you do at work?

Mine still thinks I'm doing some Marketing-Shit whereas I tried to explain multiple times to her what IT and eCommerce is...

Did the 32 GB RAM upgrade! Look at me now mom, spending mad cash on my sick rig!

(Well, 40 bucks in this case. Literally.)

I was 7 and the night before Christmas my grandparents asked my mother if she could give me a computer for Christmas, my mom said no. I woke up Christmas morning to a computer sitting on my dining table :p. My mom was pissed

When you suddenly got a cold after long hours of coding/gaming and your mom says blames your computer and its "viruses" 😐😐😐

mom : i don't understand why my son became a nocturnal being..

father : son .. what the hell do you do entire night alone in your room with your lappy .. go get a gf or get married .. go get a life

relatives : beta (son in indian lang) my tv is not working can you fix it.. beta my internet is not working on my mobile (goddamnit turn on the mobile data for fuck sake )

Mom: So you "play" on your computer all day.
Dad: You're not fit enough to be working with computers all day.

Since my mom asks me for a new website every 6 months, and the fact that my dad and my girlfriend are developers as well..

They know exactly what I do!

I stayed at work till 8:30 last night writing tests. It was awesome!

Got home and told Mom: "sorry, got carried away".

When you boast to your dad/mom about the code write,

And they ask you to fix their washing machine.
:'(

dear mom,

i know you mean well, but please stop getting me laptops for my birthday. i spend countless hours fixing wifi and graphics card and other drivers because of this.

thank you

the only electronic device that i do not how to use and my mom do, is the washing maching

Mom: Give me one single reason why won't you do MBA?
Me: People there won't get my jokes on computers, and it will be all like high school again 😭😭😭

my mom..

Mom !! The shark is chewing the cables again !!

When you are a programmer but mom asks you to fix her iron

Mom: How do you change my Outlook settings so fast?
Me: Years of training...

And just when I was having a shut eye, my mom woke me up, because WiFi wasn't working..😒

> Half asleep
> No coffee

My mom: "commit and go to sleep.."

!story

As is the case with many of you, I am also the de facto technology fixer for my family, and usually the first one they call when something goes wrong.

Usually it's a 'something wants to update, should I do it?' simple issue. Other times I have to remote connect to see why Word isn't uploading templates correctly or whatever.

Yesterday was different though.

Me: So whatcha need?
Mom: Well, my office has recently wanted me to be remote-capable in case they need me for something and they don't have the right people to fix it (she's been working at the same office for 20+ years and knows basically everything)
Me: Okay. So I guess they're setting up a VPN for this?
Mom: Yes. And I was calling because they might try and install it on my personal laptop and I wanted to know whether or not I should be concerned about our IT guys being able to look at or steal all my personal data.

I then proceeded to explain how a VPN works and that convincing her company to provide her with a separate computer would be the safest option and whatnot. But I was honestly really surprised that she was concerned to begin with.

For a while now, it seems there's been one story after another of companies being irresponsible with their customer's data, with little to no reprocussion or action that could really make a difference.

But as a direct result, we're now getting to the point where even the tech illiterate are becoming more aware of how this is effecting them.

It gave me hope for the future in an industry where many times there is very little. And I hope it does for you as well.

Thanks, mom. I'm proud of you.

Mom: What are you doing ??
Me: Just fixing up a few bugs I encountered yesterday..
Mom: Good .. That means you are doing nothing .. Go fill up the damn water bottles ..
Me: -_- !

-me tries to create a website builder.
mom: Can you just stop playing videogames all the time and get a job?
-me shows her money
- mom: well fine.
Next week same loop.
im sure you are familiar with this.

My mom told me to take the spider out instead of killing it..
So i did. We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy, said he works as a web developer.

Mom: So what are you learning in college?
Me: How to make a Big-Oh

i wonder, does my mom use linux? cuz i can't refuse whatever she wants me to do.

it's like she always 'sudo'-ing me around

My mom is amazing, bought one of this for me to try and Limon concentrate because I love lemon juice

Sorry mom, you made the statement! 😂😚

"Design is like a mom, nobody notices when she’s around, but everybody misses her when she’s not. " - Santiago Borray

Context: Madre recently got a new laptop to replace her old HP, but since she doesn't know much about computers, I picked it out for her. I went a little overboard on the specs because I new it was a "family laptop" and I would end up using it more than she would.

Mum: *yelps after typing on computer*
Me: "What's wrong"
Mum: "This computer is too fast!"
Me: 😐
Me: ... "What?"
Mum: "It loads things too fast"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Mum: "When I click on the apps they open almost immediately"
Me: "That's a good thing"
Mum: "No it's not, it startled me!"
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
*goes back to reading book*

Me and my mom played an online farming game together when I was about...4? We still were running Windows XP.

Mom: hey I can't get into the phone, the PIN and PUK aren't working. See if you can fix it otherwise you'll have to go to the communications company to ask for a new card (my mom is working and can't do it)
Me: //gives it another try. Doesn't work. Searches online. Yep, can't do anything, it needs a new card
Me: sorry mom, you have to get a new card, there's nothing I can do.
Mom: OK
Me: why did you ask me for help, again?
Mom: well because you can do things and fix things and so, and I thought that maybe you could fix it
Me: 😑

2018 goal:
Learn to write code, and make a lot of money, and live a happy life, and hopefully my mom will love me again, and...

lol,my mom just called me to check whether I had lunch or not. I was working and forgot what time it is!