When your mother keep waking you up asking where is MS Office Word...

I tell my parents that I chose Game Development in the GeoLab course(The college which my mother really wanted me to try), and mother's response is: „Gaming is mankind's disaster. Why do you want to make more people miserable?“

Kill. Me. Now.

Wrote a nodejs script which reads emails from my college searching for keywords like free, food, and refreshments. When it finds one of those it notifies me that free food is somewhere on campus.

Necessity is the mother of invention

I just discovered ctrl+r in the Linux terminal.

Mother of god this fucker speeds up my workflow!

A massive amount of kudos to the person who made this 😍

Mother (working in recruitment): "What's the difference between JavaScript and Java?"

Me: "I'm glad you finally asked that..."

When I was a kid, I used Dreamweaver and my mother would watch me doing things and she used to say "Oh, my dear there are lots of icons and buttons!!! How do you manage that? How do you know which one is for what purpose? You are really brilliant."

And now I use Atom IDE and she says "This looks very easy. Technology has evolved so much that you don't have to click so many buttons and just write simple lines, just as simple as writing letters and the software does the rest of the things. These softwares have done a brilliant job."

Seriously the technology has changed (and my mother too) !!!

my mother brought me a external hard drive.. she asked me can i check what is wrong with it.. i opened it up and i just began to laugh

Mom: what are you doing ?

Me: i'm installing daemons in my computer.

Mother: *sprays me with holy water

This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.

What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!

Just went jogging again for the first time in ages.

Mother of god, I was convinced that I had a quite good condition.

Yeah.... that convincement is now veeeery gone 😅

They removed the coffee machine from our floor.

Mother fuckers.

When you think that you can control your mother.

Me: Mom sudo make me a sandwich.
Her: You fool I'm a Windows user

Debian, the mother ship

Once A Programmer Had No Child, No Money, No Home, Blind Mother, so he Prays To God.

God Says He Will Grant Him One Wish!

Programmer : “I Want My Mother To See My Wife Putting Diamond Bangles On My Child’s Hands, In Our New Home”

God: “Damn! I Still Have A Lot To Learn From These Programmers”

My mother just referred to my external hdd bay as a computer toaster...

WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR THESE CUM SUCKERS TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHANGING REQUIREMENTS 2 DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE IS JUST GONNA BREAK EVERYTHING!?!?
I DOUBLE DARE ANYONE TO TELL ME ITS NOT WORKING TOMORROW...
STUPID MOTHER FUCKER PMS CANT PLAN ANYTHING

Oddly enough, it's comforting to hear other devs mumble "mother fucker" or "what the fuck, you stupid piece of ass" when working on things.

It means I'm not alone and we can all suffer together 🤗

.mother {
right: 100%;
margin: 0;
love: absolute;
}

Told my mother about rubber duck debugging. This was included in my presents this year

My mother sits in front of me with her laptop. After a time she asks me, who founded Microsoft. I say: "Bill Gates but why?"
She: "Oh my god, I am winning an iPhone!!!"
I know exactly what's going on, so I go to her and show her the shitty URL and some grammar mistakes in the text and close the tab after explaining that it is phishing.
After that she just looks at me and is sooooo angry about me, because she still thinks that it was real. Only because they "knew which Internet provider we were using and that they just wanted to reward us for being customer!!!". I'm so sad now, because I never thought she would fall for sth. like this... 😔

Your Mama jokes in css😂

#your-mother{
width : 1000000px;
float : nope;
}

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO USE THIS DAMN BRAINFUCK LIBRARY WITHOUT PROPER DOCUMENTATION.

THIS ENTIRE LANGUAGE WAS CLEARLY INTENDED AT READABILITY, SO STOP TRYING TO TAKE THAT AWAY.

YOU MOTHER FUCKING BRAINFUCK DEVS, PLEASE WRITE CLEARLY EXPLAINED, PROPER DOCS.

GOODNIGHT.

Hired a dev with everything he asked for on interview.
Started on Monday.
Take half day leave on Tuesday.
Informed his resignation on Wednesday.

For fuck sake, please don't do that people. For your mother and grandmother and great great grandmother sake. Please just don't.

This! Premature optimization is the mother of all evil.

Not checked my mail box since Thanks Giving, just opened my mail box to find 1600+ of these black friday promotion mother fuckers.

So the other day my mother told me that her laptop does not start. Then we found out that she holds the "power" button so long that the laptop turned off again after a few seconds after the boot was initiated.

My mother just called our Google home the github.

FUCK THIS! FUUUUCKKKKKK THIIIS!... one would be fucking excited and motivated to finish work, but your entire fucking productivity is hanging from the internet connection's dick!!!!.. Fuckin ISP mother fucker! FUCK!... i can't fuckin work under these conditions for fuck's sake! SHIT!

I see a lot of hate for JS in here. I personally love that mother fucker.

Window...update available... Later
And now ?
Later
And now?
Later
And now?
Later
And now?
Later
And now?
Finish my day, do it fucker but tomorrow you need to work

Today ... Bootloop

Mother fucking ☮️ of shit

MOTHER FUCKER IDIOTS!!!

SO I HAVE TO ROLLBACK OUR PROD DEPLOYMENT BECAUSE IM THE ONLY FUCKER WHO UNDERSTANDS THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "DONT PUSH UNFINISHED CHANGES"?!?
DAMN!!!! FUCK YOU ALL...

DevRant was just loading very slow because of bad mobile internet. I told my mum that this could be loading faster, because it's mainly text (= no large videos) that needs to be transferred. My mum answered:

"Your smartphone doesn't know that tho".

Looooong silence. Very looooong silence.

At my sisters place together with my parents. Showed my 100K accomplishment and I'm now showing my mother around.

It's funny how certain terms are hard to grasp for not so techy people!

"Holy mother of fuck. This shit is soooo interesting."
- My roommate after I taught him basics of programming. May the main() be with him.

AAAAAAHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

THE LAST 20 MINUTES WERE THE CRINGIEST OF MY LIFE!!!

THIS COWORKER TYPES AND CLICKS SO SLOWLY!!! JUST FUUUCK YOU MY FUCKING 9 YEARS OLD CLICKS A FUCKING MOUSE FASTER THEN YOU MOTHER FUCKEEEEER!!!!!

I almost lost my fucking patience this time...

My mother.

She explained to me what “algorithm“ is. I was 14. Instant love for the domain. In 2 days, I knew exactly what I want to do with my life

Yo!
I went to see my mother a few days, and her TV's broken.
She told me to repair it, because "you're a programmer"
Does anybody knows a python function or a useful library that could repair TV ?

Mother of god, choosing a topic for today's security/privacy blog post is hard!

I have too much choice 😅

Just created the mother of all memory leaks, 300MB/s :|

All I wanted is to read a fucking article.

The UX is stunning, my friends.. I can feel real PROs were on this. /s

## MOTHER FUCKERS!

You know you've been watching Silicon Valley too much lately when you drop your food and yell "mother fuck.. Jian Yang."

When someone gets you:

I don't know who the fuck told the I.T. Manager to block the website without informing the employees.

Mother fucker blocked Bitbucket. I' am going to fuck his ass on Monday.

2AM and a birthday party of my BELOVED mother that I have to attend tomorrow in the middle of bumfuck. And I'm not sleeping, oh no.. because "family obligations" require me to get her a present on 2 days notice. I'm making her something very simple, some LED's displaying her new age, powered by a lithium cell and some charge-boost-protection controller. So I need to make a mesh to place the LED's to make those characters.

Measuring the size of the project box, cut it out.. started drawing the numbers on it. Not satisfied and ain't nobody got time for that. Guess I'll just print something out. Drew a little image with some text on my tablet, sent it to the printer. Black apparently doesn't want to print anymore even though it's still fucking full.

HP YOU CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!! How fucking difficult can it be to make a printer and make it into something that doesn't shit on me every fucking time I want to use it?! Why do I have to deal with your shit, on top of my mother's?! WHY?!!!!

Fuck me. Happy birthday to my mother, and silently I wish that it's her last one. The bitch wouldn't - no she didn't - piss on me even when I was on fire!! Where were you "dear family member" when I was homeless, huh?! WHERE WERE YOU, WHEN I STOOD ON TOP OF A BRIDGE, READY TO END MY LIFE AND BEGGED TO YOU TO ALLOW ME TO STAY IN YOUR HOME FOR THE NIGHT?! Mother my fucking ass. A blood bond that I wish I never had! And that I have to work for now, because you fucking bitch can't even possibly think as far into the future as to invite your peers for a birthday party.. I dunno, maybe a week in advance, like a sensible human being would? At least she's improving, my little sister's and brother's birthdays she just invited me for the day before. And I also had to get a present ready for, in the middle of the fucking night. Fucking hell!!!

Why the fuck cant people keep their hands to them selves???
I had a fucking moron come up to my desk, say "cool toy!", grab it and play with it.
For him that was fine....

I on the other hand wanted to stub that mother fucker to death and feed his organs to his kids.

That mother fucker grubbed my probe holder, shorted out an 8k$ evb and failed my 12 hours hardware test.

Fucking grease bag

And that is how I met your mother

...........the fuck did I just read

This mother fucker ever read a book before? 🤦‍♀️

Some days I just want to shoot myself.

I get why... someone might do this, but sweet mother of god!

I hate it when stupid ideas go public and get a huge valuation. Snap at ~$24b just means more of my mother asking why I haven't made something like that yet and everyone else pitching me their dumb ideas at my birthday party.

Write comments you dumb fucks.

If you change shit that is different from the original pattern， fucking write a comment.

1 minute vs. 45 minutes you mother fucker.

I found this poster in one of my labs at University... Why is he trying to align the CPU with the cooler before the CPU is even in the mother board.
Great play, forgot the thermal paste as well.

Sweet mother of butts, I can't believe I forgot about the Windows XP media player. Seeing it again I can't believe it ever existed.

My mother always forgets this.

Yesterday my my mother had problems with Office365 and called a servicedesk. They said her computer was slow and that an SD could improve the speed. My mother said that there already was an SSD in there to which he replied yes but that is for RAM, to make opening things faster you need an SD like in your phone...

Where is the world going?

New Rick and Morty in 25 days mother fuckaaaaaaaa!!!!

😎😎😎😎😎

Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!

I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.

I've come to a conclusion today: Management are fucking with me. I know it sounds far fetched, but its the only thing that makes sense.

I was in a meeting today, discussing some bad emails back and forth. Part of my issue was the amount of time spent on useless meetings, or waiting around to give demos.

The meeting got cut short, so I could prepare a demo for a VP ... after an hour and a fucking half of waiting around ... theres no time to see my demo.

What the actual fuck, seriously .... seriously what the actual fuck. What if the name of mother fucking christ is going on with this team, that they call me into a mother fucking meeting to discuss the "developers attitude" only to go and cut it short ... so they can fucking waste my time ... for the second time in 3 mother fucking days.

Oh i'd rather fuck myself with a cactus than spend the rest of my days dealing with this utter bullshittery.

No, css is not evil, that God forsaken mother fucking useless piece of horse shit wanking ass fucking whore framework known as bootstrap is.

Fuck you stupid cunt!!!! If your fucking project depends on empty folder structure just put a fucking gitignore file on it so I don't have to waste all fucking day debugging your tasteless spaghetti to figure out that you download files to an empty folder that git clone doesn't create.

Last week one of my non-dev coworkers asked if any of us knew java and I was like "yeah, think I can help you" then she showed me her JavaScript issue and I was like:
"Wtf, people really do this shit..."

"So, you will stay in a chair all day doing 'clickety click'. That's not a job."
(My mother, circa 1990)😲

Yes, I'm old... My first program was written in a stone table with a chisel😁

Mother of God

“ThAnK YeW 4 KallIng MicraroSoFt TekNicAll SuppUrt, mY nAmE iS JaKe. YoUR KomputeR HaS VirUs ThaT NeEds ReMoVal.”

Go float yourself you sack of shit, your mother should have swallowed.

My mother is so ashamed of me.
she tells everybody that I'm a Drug dealer.

PHP Developer here.

Your mother is so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow

Be me:
> turns on laptop
> enter funky town password
> presses enter
> expects wallpaper to show

Be windows:
> fuck you mother fucker!
> surprise asshole
> I magically updated on you without warning

"Assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups"

"Nothing is unbreakable"

Once I was frustrated by a Javascript bug

So I Googled "Retarded JS'"

And holy fuckkk

I found a npm module 😁

Then I Googled "Asshole JS"

Holy mother of all fuckkks

I FOUND THE COOLEST JS LIBRARY EVER 😁😂

N: Me
M: Mother

M: Can you help me? I can't update pages.

N: Sure *Checks problem* it looks like you installed it with the old apple account, you just need to reinstall it using your new one.

M: What about all my pages documents on icloud?

N: *Compares documents on mac to her other Apple devices that never had the old account* See? The documents would have to be on the new account.

M: Are you sure? I don't want to lose any documents.

N: I know, don't worry their on your new iCloud.

M: *Calls apple support*

N: *Talks to apple support who after an hour of chatting to her through me because I translate customer support to mother confirms what I was telling her*

N: Reinstalls pages and everything is fine.

I was originally going to make a post talking a bit about how people love to second guess anything I say but thought this story provides a decent example. When it's something of a personal nature or someone is asking for my opinion in genral then it's perfectly reasonable to ask multiple people. It doesn't bother me when someone asks for my help, it bugs the shit out of me when someone asks for my help and then doubts everything I say in this case even after providing some evidence to back up my claim and wasting a solid hour. If you ask for my help your trusting that I have the knowledge necessary to assist, if I don't know for certain I'll try googling the problem but even in that case calling support doesn't bother me because I clearly don't know how to help.

P.S. This was my first story, how did I do?

"I usually just stop being stuck and be awesome instead. "

And that kids, is how I met your mother.

My Father is an old bank accountant. So he knows that, behind their mainframe screens there are ugly code stuff and I deal with them.

When I try to talk about my job, Mother's eyes grow in awe. She thinks of me as a sci-fi character.

As my career goes very well, my wife thinks I'm so skillful that I must be like the architect guy at Matrix.

Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law: A mix of my wife and mother.

They are all proud and happy, so am i.

I think we need to stop to use the phrase "hello world " in programming , let's try "Surprise mother fucker" instead.

Hihihihi just saying...

How does a developer gives birth ?

`git pull origin mother`

Y'all mother fuckers who use "don't re-invent the wheel" as a tactic to not grow new neurons, as if a ceiling's there — fuck out of my circle.

Those mother fuckers have never even created a single wheel - ever!

Well, ima re-invent any fucking wheel I want, when and where. How I learn is not your fucking busy.

What's even more annoying is that those telling me that shit are pretty much part of the paint on the wall and damn unemployable any where on this earth.

Well... I feel insanely stupid because I've been using windows for years an just realised that the file system isn't case sensitive... Mother fuckers...

(Yes judge me, I am a twat)

What is it with this team and the developers it attracts. 2 devs joined and left, both had several years of experience, both couldn’t google an issue to save their lives and needed to be helped 24/7.

Now we are mentoring a PHD student for a piece of his project. Dude was left stumped by an error message that said “Can’t find file at path ...” because the path didn’t exist. He spent a few hours trying to fix it before asking for help.

How, HOW are people getting through college / university without being able to read, or debug such a simple fucking error message

What are the things you google the most?

Mine is the mother fucking 'regular expressions'

Sooooo my mother just put a small magnet on top of my laptop. And right on top of where the HDD is.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hopefully no damage done since it was a weak magnet :(

I forgot my earphones at home today.

I travelled in the metro today.

I have a massive mother fucking headache today.

I feel like killing someone today.

My team is quite international and although we speak English among ourselves, most people still comment their code in their mother tongue.
I have learn a lot from reading my colleagues code. Mainly curse words from all over the world. It's great.

The battle is lost. I'm implementing the mother of all stupid features because the sales team wants it.

Just run “npm install”.

Mother fucker, if that worked, or if the six hours I spent trying to unfuck your dependencies worked, we would not be having this conversation.

When people don't listen to training and just realize today that they can upload files to our internal system.

Its been this way since 2003 you mother fucking idiots.

Guys....
He's almost here.....
I can't believe it!

PICKLE RIIIICKKK MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

Now I know for sure that my coworkers can't read error messages.

Every fucking time git doesn't push or pull properly they can't figure out what's going on, almost one year since we migrated to git ... come on... read the fucking message!

The worst one was my mother calling me to say "The ambulance is here so they are taking me to ER, I might have a stroke. Call you...".

And then silence... I called my brother who was as freaked out as me. As it was like a couple of months after my father died...

And she forgot her mother fucking smartphone!!!! The next fucking morning the hospital called us!!! Worst time ever!!!!

Boss reasoning: 9 woman can deliver a baby in one month.

My response: 9 man cum in your mother pussy and she delivered you in one month too.

welp, I said that just in my mind of course 🤐

Guy 1: Can I come to your house
Guy 2: No don’t I don’t want to be ashamed by my fat mother
Guy 1: How fat is your mom
Guy 2: FAT 32

Fuck you nvidia mother fucker, go rot in hell!!!!!

Sorry English is not my mother tongue. How do I say "fuck you" politely to them? 😔

A question for the people who say Macs are superior...

WHAT THE FUCK

I'm wrestling this iOS signing issue for the fourth day. How the fuck do people manage to build anything using tools broken by design and sold to them for the price of their mother.

So... The client saw a screenshot of me calling him a 'mother fucking French fuck' which resulted in him backing out, our company bearing a loss of almost half a million and me getting suspended.

So how's your day been going?

Sweet mother of unlogical fucking gods.

How does this even make sense
😩🔫

<aura:if isTrue=“{!not(empty(v.errorMessage))}”>
<div>{!v.errorMessage}</div>
</aura:if>

Ps: the ! Does not mean “not” 🤪

!Rant
Finally I'm having my vacation. Goodbye mother fucking legacy system. Hello pet projects and gaming. God, have mercy on the lost souls at work ;)

Your mother.

My mother lives and works overseas, and she'd complain about her IT department all the time.
Wish I could get work permit to work there, but I'd have to serve in 'their' military for 2 years...

Yeah, totally makes sense. Nope.

I know it's not a story and also not a joke or meme but then also I want to share it because this gives me goose bumps

This photo won award for best photo and led the photographer into depression.

The cheetahs chased the mother deer and her 2 fawns(baby deers), the mother could've easily outrun cheetahs but instead she offered herself to cheetahs so that her kids can manage to run safety.

In this picture she is looking at her babies running safely as she is about to get torn into pieces.

She is about to get torn to pieces but she is dosen't look a bit hesitated.
That's mother for you!!

I am driven nearly to blind rage by people who insist on sending you issues as emails and just keep piling more emails on the same thread. For the love of everything decent learn to use a mother FUCKING ticket system.

Just found out, you actually can have two UI's on ubuntu/linux. I was stuck with unity soo long, because my mother liked it more than KDE

If this masterpiece came from my coworker I would smash his computer, burn his house, wipe his gene from poor mother earth. Luckily it came from my new programming student, so I find it adorable and make a post here.

Suck my dick fucking windows... not my RAM... mother fucker.

Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.

My father is a programmer by himself so he is cool with it. My mother on the other hand is totally against "any form of technology newer than the telephone." (her words)

Some mother fucker decides to change production application db credentials…wtf man🤒🤦🏿🤦🏿🤦🏿

So by trying to make my avatar look like me as much as I can, I've came to realisation that I'm the most generic looking guy mother earth ever compiled. If that even makes any sense...

So, I applied for a job. People tend *not* to answer my applications, probably because my resume very clearly states I implemented malloc in fasm, among other things.

I imagine them going like "Sir, this is a Wendy's", or rather "we're looking for a 10X rockstar AnalScript ZAZQUACH mongoose-deus puffery quarter-stack developer". Fair enough, I certainly don't fit that bill.

But this time I not only got an answer, the guy went like "I'm impressed". Is this... recognition? From a human? What?

Fellas, I cannot process this emotion. Being frank, it's not even about the job. But willfully going against the idiocy of the industry standard, and then seeing that utterly deranged move actually amounting to something -- no matter how small -- is quite uncanny.

And of fucking course, it's a Perl job. Figures. Great minds think alike.

Fucking fuck this mother fucking cunt filled arsehole ridden brain dead idiotic world we live on.

That is all. You may now continue browsing devRant.

You know since everyone is starting to make jokes about wannacry, why don't we make the mother of all wannacry jokes, a full page website that looks exactly like the computer was infected

Created a variable in the middle of a rant with JavaScript and named it as an acronym for "mother fucker", it actually worked what I tried to do with it... "mother fucker" is in production now

Last hour Friday before leaving office.

Well fuck you too Swift! Your mother is to complex to be solve in reasonable time!

Mother fucker disable torque you piss of shit!

I'm tired 😭😭😭 aren't you?

‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

My mother disowned me when I told you I was bisexual. She told me she had cancer but will refuse to treat it because she wanted to die as soon as possible just to not see me and think of me.

I asked her what’s wrong with being bisexual and her only argument was “it’s a sin”.

I did my coming out on Jan 30 2021, the day SOPHIE died. When it comes to my relationship with my mother, nothing have changed since.

Say hi to the new buddy!!
Born today!! From boring mother and angry father!! YEEEeee...

I can't take this anymore...

I'm reviewing n-th PR and I wanna gouge my eyes rn. This is the example I found in one of the PRs (and I could enumerate the examples for a long time...)

Mother****er piece of sh*t.

Some mother fucker parked his car in my parking lot...and it's lying there for more than 2 weeks...

Internet mother of all programmers..

Oh sweet mother of god.
What is the NBN Connection i have attached to my router?

It goes "give me all your data... NOW"
I'm not used to such speed in my house, excuse me while I watch my porn collection in 4K!

Trying to program at all when your soulmate that you've been together with for over 14 years moves to her mother because of relationship problems. And suddenly you feel like a truck is crushing you constantly. Ah fuckit

The assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.

I'm regretting actually going to social events with my family. It goes exactly as I expect it:

Brother is talking to his friends, mother talking to my brother's friend's mom. And I'm awkwardly sitting aside on devRant...

The night I hooked up with your mother...son.

When I find my self in times of trouble, mother google comes to me, speaking words of wisdom "Restart PC"

So last week, I was in an apple store (for my mother), and they had win7 laptops.

I had good support.

I got access to a computer at 10 when my mother brought home the ones they used for education to avoid them being stolen

That was a couple of sinclair ZX80

I the got to go to 5 different programming courses over the next 4 years before being able to get a summer job at 14 to by my own spectravideo 128.

At 1) I started teaching through mother job and at 18 I wrote my first commercial program for my father.

I am now 50 and still in the business:)

Your mother must be the most efficient automated javascript build system ever.

Cause no one could come pop out more uglified than you.

The mother of my partner sent to us an email complaining that our home is too dirty...
We solved the problem adding a new spam filter.

Suprise visit by my mother at my flat. Cute, but please announce it advance so that I can clean my mess 😆

This career is so stressful. Who the hell thought of bringing our product to customers just before Christmas. Whyy... What did your mother do to you. Jesus f** christ.

How do ya’ll deal with stress at work?

Dad: You should rather consider being a mechanic.

Mother: Why can't you finish university and work as a banker?

Me: I don't give a heck

I wish my mother tongue was some coding language.

my mom..

I was 7 and the night before Christmas my grandparents asked my mother if she could give me a computer for Christmas, my mom said no. I woke up Christmas morning to a computer sitting on my dining table :p. My mom was pissed

I want to create a movie entitled.

"Coding was fun until I met your mother"

Polymorphism (Object Oriented) explained better :

1) Father : Son, go and get Red Label.

Son : Full or Half? ..

2) Mother : Son, go and get Red Label.

Son : 100g or 250g? ..

THE MOTHER FUCKING INTEGRATION TEST ALWAYS BREAKS IN CI ONLY, NOT ON MY MACHINE. SEEMS LIKE HE HAS SOME PERSONAL ISSUES WITH ME. THE FUKING HAUNTING GHOST

Thanks to a fellow ranter who triggered my PTSD, I will ha e to go with not only the worst, but also most evil piece of software ever conceived: MOTHER FUCKING LOTUS NOTES

What is Object oriented programming:

Father - Son, go and get Red Label
Son - 750ml or 1 ltr??
Mother - Son, go and get Red Label
Son - 500gms or 1 kg??!!

Disclaimer: I don't own this content.

well... my father doesn't bother about anything regarding me and supporting me financially or anything, and I broke up the contact with my abusive mother ~3 years ago, so... I can't really say they supported me haha...

EsLint => 3n errors in you code.
Program failed to run

Removed ESLint

And application ran forever

EsLint is like that mother that warns her daughter time to time. Dont sit like this. Dont play with your hair. Dont whistle

For my father, I do wizardry, for my mother I do magic, for my brother I type weird stuff, for my gf I code useless stuff, for my grandparents I do nothing, for my non dev friends I make softwares, for my dev friends... Magic again

New phone after 5+ years and it's fucking awesome.

Successfully avoid American and Chinese stuff by going with a Korean brand.

And I fucking love Android. The kind of feature advancement that has happened in past so many years is outstanding.

The amount of customisation options available for the users are beyond one can utilise to fullest.

And my favourite feature is dynamic lock screen pictures every-single-time I unlock. I fucking love it. Makes me cheer up with joy. Very similar to Bing Wallpapers for Windows, but more dynamic.

Lately, I have been hearing from Apple users, that iPhone lacking a ton of basic features, apps not supporting functionalities, and we all know the overall advancement in Apple ecosystem.

While this post was more about sharing my experience with my new phonw than iPhone comparison but let's face it, the reason Apple went bonkers with the first iPhone launch was the app capabilities which led to a larger developer community building apps for iPhone while Android wasn't even born yet.

This is where Google is trying to capture the market now. More devs > more apps > more users > more devs and repeat.

Today I experimented a bit with Dockerfile's.
Was quite surprised how far you could go with a spicy salsa of ARG, ENV, SHELL and multi stage builds.

But... For fucks sake....the debugging is like poking a light year long rod into a black hole, trying to fish something out of the event horizon....

In the end I got a nice setup for Java build's, version injectable with ENV/ARG, non root user and version specific behaviour.

As the debugging is non existing...

I filled up more than once my SSD....

It was an annoying brain damaged repetitive cycle of changing Dockerfile, pruning all images if docker build stopped because of missing free space, waiting for all stages to complete, start new.

And caching is a fragile thing that puzzles me .........

Guess more fishing tomorrow.

*Gives a happy deep throat to the beer bottle in hope of death*

Many'o'times I had to deal with a parent or friend that didn't understand how to NOT "accept" everything on a 3rd party program...

Windows son of a bitch, motherfucker, moron, fucking dog, sister fucker, RAM fucker, PC fucker, fucking antimalware mother fucking shit motherfucker.

How can people don't even fucking try to see if there is a better way?

Fuck, I'm constantly even trying to improve my fucking bath routine for fucks sake and these brainless monkeys are gonna be stuck forever with fucking "right click-copy right-click paste instead of keyboard shortcuts" ( just an analogy )

Fuck that makes me angry...

Can you install Windows?
NO, I use Linux mother fucker

Anywhere I can sell my mother for enough RAM to run slack, google chrome, hyperterm and sublime?

Dear mother fucking Hiring Managers,

Just because you are mother fucking fortunate, have a mother fucking proper job , a mother fucking high pay , have mother fucking parents care for you, does not mother fucking mean that you can mother fucking mock those mother fucking not as fortunate as you mother fucking arse!

Some of us carrying family, surviving, we learn how to code without a degree. Just because I have to motherfucking care for my family and pay off the mother fucking loan , it doesnt mean I am mother fucking unless. You mother fucking mother fuckers go fuck your mother fucking mother fuckers is the mother fucking mother fuckers' mothers.

Where's the empathy or politeness? You fucking ridicule people's bad luck, soon your mother fucking arsehole will be one , you bloody mother fuckers!

Just discovered that termux uses the volume down button as control... Mother fucker termux just became so much more useful!!!

Kotlin and mother tongue

In my mother tongue (my first language which is Kikuyu) we do not have the letter L in our alphabet thus meaning L and R to us is similar thus pronounced the same.
Then Kotlin makes life hard for devs who got a mother influence in their speech from my tribe. Was having a talk with fellow dev who is my tribe mate and we had an issue agreeing between val and var hehe.
We had to write it down to tell which is which.

Thankyou Kotlin for making my day.

So - A && B == B && A ?
Not according to my mother. She seems to think that "eat the rice and I'll give you dessert" is different from "give me dessert and I'll eat the rice"

Holy Mother of casts.
Just stumbled across a line that started with (((((( because it has so many casts in it...
That's why you don't use instanceof kids.

💻 Happy Monday mother fuckers

* This post was sponsored by the "gone on holiday" gang

Mother: Hrlp, my (phone)-screen's all dark and stuff. What's wrong with my phone!?
Me: Everything alright, it's just a dark theme 🤣

Just dropping by to say that my mother gets married today and that I hate wearing fancy clothes ^^

I wondering what could possibly slow down our server app , Just found out there's one mother fucker who use async in every cases and async everywhere. Hey not all function are async!

Why the hell should the webapp works on fuckin ie11?! Move on mother fuckers!

Creating a $__this variable in global scope in a shitty PHP application. Worst part was, he wrote it in my mother language ($__bu). Fuck that.

My step father had gotten me into computer programming, more or less indirectly though.

My family supported my programming when it didn't involve destroying the computer.

All other times, it's just a magical black box to my mother

Out of no where, i remembered the day when i introduced an android phone to my mother.

The first thing she asked was , "Where is the 'touch' in it on which every body is losing his mind?"

Coding with some hardcore metal while my client employes run my food and coffee erands. Because then know you are a crazy mother fucker that needs to be concentraded

When the most dependable guy on your team resigns right in the middle of the biggest project and your boss gives YOU hell about it. What the mother fuck????

I really do understand why Ryan Dahl is working on Deno.

It's a mother fucking textarea.

Fuck Drupal and their fucking developers cult like mother fuckers.

Disney Fast Play is a fucking lie.

Every god damn time racing to find the remote before “Fast Play” kicks in with like 17 minutes of fucking unskippable previews.

Fuckin’ Mickey Mouse hat mother fuckers.

I just learned the concept of this thing called REST API and now here's GraphQL showing up on me face. Mother fucking web development hell. BRB. KMS

My parents have a very good grasp of what I do.

The first computer I got to try was one of the educational computers used for courses arranged by the company my mother worked for and my father studied programming before me ;)

I never understood or will understand my mother or positive energy that resides in her, so I'm going through a little tough time here, broke and unemployed and she just challenged me to shave off my 'stach and beard and something good will happen in my life, so I did just to prove her wrong

Fucking fuck Nvidia. Shit suckers and ass lickers can't make a fucking thing properly. Everytime I have to compile something involving cuDNN and cuda I wish I could kill myself first. It's a piece of garbage software that we're stuck with. Fuck you mother fuckin Nvidia.

I am a developer, but I think that it's very difficult to explain to my mother what it is about my job.

Your mother is so fat, not even a try/catch can catch her.

!dev. Test/Fixing this monster because my dad's mother refuses to use a newer laptop even if i just give it to her.

So these same mother fuckers that think 8:00 is reasonable time for a meeting, have decided that the health checks need tk be done by 7:00

But no, I must just be grateful to have work

U guys know anyone who would ask "Can I turn off this power switch?" AFTER they already turned it off? My mother did that. On a PC that was in the middle of a large file upload over a ridiculously slow internet...

GCC is like an Indian mother, it keeps telling so many things irrelavant for me, when I do a mistake.

> Assumption is the mother of all fuckups

I’m shocked, some of the hideously embarrassing questions these dim mother fucking senators have been asking Zuckerberg. Is this for real?

I fucking hate DLL mother fucking hell.
And fuck you Microsoft.SqlServer.BatchParser.dll
.
.
.
Kinda relief?
.
.
.
Nah.. I still got to resolve this issue.

Do you guys swear 😏, I do a lot about tech but I don't see anyone on here doing that

Nothing like shit I just shocked myself

Or mother fucking ie die in a hole

You know the usual

Father: knows nothing about programming but tells me how to do everything...mmm, ok.

Mother: a sponge for all my frustrations...prey for her.

Brother: thinks that I am Tony Stark.

Grandparents: ..well I spend my days with a typewriter and a television for them xD

I have played different roles on different companies and all my mother says to people is that I 'work with computers', same for friends that work on manufacturing or as sales engineers. It really pissed me off.

When you want to make an unlinked copy:

JSON.parse(JSON.stringify(obj))

Holy mother Jesus, so many hours before I realised this. Really js!? Really...

Love my mother to death. But whenever she asks for help such as how do you save a word file, and where to find it - I loose it.

I absolutely fuckin hate sysprep!!!

Fuckin mother fuckin shit cock balls saggy tits wrinkled ass cunt

project-manager : what are you doing ?

me : just having some coffee .

project-manager : stop all shit go to work .

me : ok sir . got up and went for my laptop .

my mother screamed at me and screamed "what
are you doing ?"

i then realised it all a night_mare

*Has more advanced knowledge on computers and cyber security...

Mother still cant trust with repairing phone, asking which phone to buy, and naggs about the amount of time i spend on my laptop saying i'd break it.

Great.

My mother got a "smarter than her phone" (her words).

Now she's realized she can text me inchorent questions about their home network at all hours.

I just helped my mother to "register at the Facebook". I guess you can think of the rest... 😑

toilet.flusher.show()
... hmm ... not a UI issue.

toilet.flush()

Crash: "No function found"
... must be private, mother fu**** ...
...
...
// ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
user.leaveFloater(true)

apt-get install life
The following packages will be REMOVED:
destiny, future, goals, mother , father, siblings

FUCK THIS SHIT

HIT THAT MOTHER!)#%Y!)!!! BREAKPOINT!!
...
...
...
...
God damn it, it's in Release configuration again.