You know what?

Young cocky React devs can suck my old fuckin LAMP and Objective-C balls.

Got a new freelance job and got brought in to triage a React Native iOS/Android app. Lead dev's first comment to me is: "Bro, have you ever used React Native".

To which I had to reply to save my honor publicly, "No, but I have like 8 years with Objective-C and 3 years with Swift, and 3 years with Node, so I maybe I'll still be able help. Sometimes it just helps to have a fresh set of eyes."

"Well, nobody but me can work on this code."

And that, as it turned out was almost true.

After going back and forth with our PM and this dev I finally get his code base.

"Just run "npm install" he says".

Like no fuckin shit junior... lets see if that will actually work.

Node 14... nope whole project dies.

Node 12 LTS... nope whole project dies.

Install all of react native globally because fuck it, try again... still dies.

Node 10 LTS... project installs but still won't run or build complaining about some conflict with React Native libraries and Cocoa pods.

Go back to my PM... "Um, this project won't work on any version of Node newer than about 5 years old... and even if it did it still won't build, and even if it would build it still runs like shit. And even if we fix all of that Apple might still tell us to fuck off because it's React Native.

Spend like a week in npm and node hell just trying to fucking hand install enough dependencies to unfuck this turds project.

All the while the original dev is still trying TO FIX HIS OWN FUCKING CODE while also being a cocky ass the entire time. Now, I can appreciate a cocky dev... I was horrendously cocky in my younger days and have only gotten marginally better with age. But if you're gonna be cocky, you also have to be good at it. And this guy was not.

Lo, we're not done. OG Dev comes down with "Corona Virus"... I put this in quotes because the dude ends up drawing out his "virus" for over 4 months before finally putting us in touch with "another dev team he sometimes uses".

Next, me and my PM get on a MS Teams call with this Indian house. No problems there, I've worked with the Indians before... but... these are guys are not good. They're talking about how they've already built the iOS build... but then I ask them what they did to sort out the ReactNative/Cocoa Pods conflict and they have no idea what I'm talking about.

Why?

Well, one of these suckers sends a link to some repo and I find out why. When he sends the link it exposes his email...

This Indian dude's emails was our-devs-name@gmail.com...

We'd been played.

Company sued the shit out of the OG dev and the Indian company he was selling off his work to.

I rewrote the app in Swift.

So, lets review... the React dev fucked up his own project so bad even he couldn't fix it... had to get a team of Indians to help who also couldn't fix it... was still a dickhead to me when I couldn't fix it... and in the end it was all so broken we had to just do a rewrite.

None of you get npm. None of you get React. None of you get that doing the web the way Mark Zucherberg does it just makes you a choad locked into that ecosystem. None of you can fix your own damn projects when one of the 6,000 dependency developers pushes breaking changes. None of you ever even bother with "npm audit fix" because if security was a concern you'd be using a server side language for fucking server side programming like a grown up.

So, next time a senior dev with 20 years exp. gets brought in to help triage a project that you yourself fucked up... Remember that the new thing you know and think makes you cool? It's not new and it's not cool. It's just JavaScript on the server so you script kiddies never have to learn anything but JavaScript... which makes you inarguably worse programmers.

And, MF, I was literally writing javascript while you were sucking your mommas titties so just chill... this shit ain't new and I've got a dozen of my own Node daemons running right now... difference is?

Mine are still working.

I'm graduating today! loads of pictures will be taken today AND GUESS WHO JUST WOKE UP WITH A BIG MOTHERFUCKING RED INFECTED EYE FOR THE FIRST TIME OF HIS ENTIRE FATHERFUCKING LIFE. YES MOTHERFUCKING YES IT'S ME FUCKING COCK SUCKERS FUUUUUUUUUUU 😭😡

Anyone know this bitch hacker 127.0.0.1 story?

WORST HACKERS OF ALL TIME

CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS BECUASE IT IS SO LONG...

TLdr bitch hacker hacks himself by localhost

bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..

We were in a group project with about 7 people.

One of the guys who ran windows needed to work with arduino and couldn't get it to work after hours of trying.

I suggested Ubuntu and they immediately started to bash me for being 'that linux nazi'.

"shut your cock sucking mouths. I'm not a fucking linux nazi, at least give it a fucking shot."

Well, it worked from the first second.

Fuck those cock suckers

Manager: Oh my god have you heard of libraries? I don’t even need to hire developers anymore, everything can just be done with code other people have already built for free

Dev: Well you actually cause a bit of technical debt when you use an abstrac—

Manager: EVERY TICKET SHOULD BE DONE USING LIBRARIES GOING FORWARD.

Dev: …This is going to implode…Can we at least fund some of the libraries we end up using?

Manager: WHAT? NO! Open source developers are suckers, what idiot puts code on the internet for free?? I shouldn’t be required to fund their stupidity. Let’s just take their stuff and make money with it.

Dev: *Phone rings 100th time today from recruiter*. One sec I have to take this call……It’s urgent.

WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR THESE CUM SUCKERS TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHANGING REQUIREMENTS 2 DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE IS JUST GONNA BREAK EVERYTHING!?!?
I DOUBLE DARE ANYONE TO TELL ME ITS NOT WORKING TOMORROW...
STUPID MOTHER FUCKER PMS CANT PLAN ANYTHING

Lads, I will be real with you: some of you show absolute contempt to the actual academic study of the field.

In a previous rant from another ranter it was thrown up and about the question for finding a binary search implementation.

Asking a senior in the field of software engineering and computer science such question should be a simple answer, specifically depending on the type of job application in question. Specially if you are applying as a SENIOR.

I am tired of this strange self-learner mentality that those that have a degree or a deep grasp of these fundamental concepts are somewhat beneath you because you learned to push out a website using the New Boston tutorials on youtube. FOR every field THAT MATTERS a license or degree is hold in high regards.
"Oh I didn't go to school, shit is for suckers, but I learned how to chop people up and kinda fix it from some tutorials on youtube" <---- try that for a medical position.

"Nah it's cool, I can fix your breaks, learned how to do it by reading blogs on the internet" <--- maintenance shop

"Sure can write the controller processing code for that boing plane! Just got done with a low level tutorial on some websites! what can go wrong!"

(The same goes for military devices which in the past have actually killed mfkers in the U.S)

Just recently a series of people were sent to jail because of a bug in software. Industries NEED to make sure a mfker has aaaall of the bells and whistles needed for running and creating software.

During my masters degree, it fucking FASCINATED me how many mfkers were absolutely completely NEW to the concept of testing code, some of them with years in the field.

And I know what you are thinking "fuck you, I am fucking awesome" <--- I AM SURE YOU BLOODY WELL ARE but we live in a planet with billions of people and millions of them have fallen through the cracks into software related positions as well as complete degrees, the degree at LEAST has a SPECTACULAR barrier of entry during that intro to Algos and DS that a lot of bitches fail.

NOTE: NOT knowing the ABSTRACTIONS over the tools that we use WILL eventually bite you in the ASS because you do not fucking KNOW how these are implemented internally.

Why do you think compiler designers, kernel designers and embedded developers make the BANK they made? Because they don't know memory efficient ways of deploying a product with minimal overhead without proper data structures and algorithmic thinking? NOT EVERYTHING IS SHITTY WEB DEVELOPMENT

SO, if a mfker talks shit about a so called SENIOR for not knowing that the first mamase mamasa bloody simple as shit algorithm THROWN at you in the first 10 pages of an algo and ds book, then y'all should be offended at the mkfer saying that he is a SENIOR, because these SENIORS are the same mfkers that try to at one point in time teach other people.
These SENIORS are the same mfkers that left me a FUCKING HORRIBLE AND USELESS MESS OF SPAGHETTI CODE

Specially to most PHP developers (my main area) y'all would have been well motherfucking served in learning how not to forLoop the fuck out of tables consisting of over 50k interconnected records, WHAT THE FUCK

"LeaRniNG tHiS iS noT neeDed!!" yes IT fucking IS

being able to code a binary search (in that example) from scratch lets me know fucking EXACTLY how well your thought process is when facing a hard challenge, knowing the basemotherfucking case of a LinkedList will damn well make you understand WHAT is going on with your abstractions as to not fucking violate memory constraints, this-shit-is-important.

So, will your royal majesties at least for the sake of completeness look into a couple of very well made youtube or book tutorials concerning the topic?

You can code an entire website, fine as shit, you will get tested by my ass in terms of security and best practices, run these questions now, and it very motherfucking well be as efficient as I think it should be(I HIRE, NOT YOU, or your fucking blog posts concerning how much MY degree was not needed, oh and btw, MY degree is what made sure I was able to make SUCH decissions)

This will make a loooooooot of mfkers salty, don't worry, I will still accept you as an interview candidate, but if you think you are good enough without a degree, or better than me (has happened, told that to my face by a candidate) then get fucking ready to receive a question concerning: BASIC FUCKING COMPUTER SCIENCE TOPICS

* gays away into the night

So we where given a project with a deadline already set behind our backs and we have to give our deadline despite not knowing wtf we have to do exactly ...

They asked us to don't ask too much time because the budget can't afford too much time...

I'm here thinking: WTF?!
THEY PASSED A FUCKING DEADLINE AND PRICES TO THE FUCKING CLIENT WITHOUT ASKING ANY! ANY MOTHERFUCKING DEV ABOUT IT!!!

We asked them so many fucking questions on the first meeting that they were fucking baffled about everything but kept playing cool like "well, this project is already set and we are gonna have to deal with it"

Bunch of motherfucking stupid cock suckers , go die agonizing on your own vomit and if ask my help I'm gonna answer "well, you gonna have to deal with it because you are already fucked"

MOTHER FUCKER IDIOTS!!!

SO I HAVE TO ROLLBACK OUR PROD DEPLOYMENT BECAUSE IM THE ONLY FUCKER WHO UNDERSTANDS THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "DONT PUSH UNFINISHED CHANGES"?!?
DAMN!!!! FUCK YOU ALL...

Minimum wage employers and restaurants asking "and why should we hire you?".

You have 40 vacancies in your area for just your company alone.
You're paying $13.25 an hour when only a year ago you were paying $9.75.

Why should we hire you?

F*ck you, pay me, that's why.

You're not f*cking NASA
You're a God damn chain restaurant with a 40% turnover rate, who's employees probably shoot up in the bathroom on the rare occasion they even get a break.

I looked at the guy with all the annoyance I could muster, stared him down for a good five seconds and said. "You pay a few dollars over minimum. You're job is not important enough to even ask that question. Have a nice day." And got up and left.

Dude followed me and stuttered " hold up. I was just..."

But I was already out the door.

You were just what mark? Asking a dumbfuck question as if you had any leverage at all?

Your competitor *across the street* is offering 50 cents *more* per hour, and has guaranteed breaks.

What, did you forget 2008 and how you treated millions of people as disposable? The little part where you and most american industries demanded passion, without pay raises? Promotions without benefits? The jobs that if you worked hard, rather than a promotion or a pay raise, your reward was more work and less hours to finish?

You assholes thought we forgot about that? How you shipped millions of jobs overseas, blamed it on "automation" (chinese and indian slave labor), and then pointed the finger at millions of impoverished people as "lazy" in places like Detroit and Pittsburgh and told them "you just got to work harder and smarter!" Or "just get a small loan and create the next google!" from the comfort of your yachts? I'm looking at you bane corp.

No, now the shoes on the other foot motherf*ckers. Hows it feel needing all *us* commoners? "Why should we hire you?"

No, why should *I* WORK FOR YOU?
Cuz I saw THREE dirty tables coming in. A line of people that could be being served. A line that could have been optimized with the proper table count and some simple changes. A menu that doesnt even incentivize your biggest sellers and a dozen other things your store is doing wrong.

Think mark, think!

This is one of those braindead questions employers paying sub $18 an hour ask, because they suffered so much brain drain from years of payola profits from too-big-to-fail wallstreet bailouts, that they forgot they are not king midas, unless they are the king midas of shit, because increasingly everything corporate America touches turns into shit.

And while were on the subject, stopping bringing in outside management to stores. It destroys team cohesion, staff morale, pisses off people *on site* who *actually know* the team, the stores daily activities and processes, and who are better fit for that role. You bring in disinterested outside management, and it's one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen: these smarmy selfcongratulating f*cks who know nothing about the particular store, have no connection to the staff, go on firing sprees or alienation-sprees to hire in friends, fuck up the schedules because again they know nothing about the employees, and then move on after a few years to greener pastures, leaving a barren radioactive wasteland of chain smokers and burnt out staff in their wake.

Dear corporate America, your free ride on the public's good will is over. It's over.

Now you're in the bitch seat. Come sit at my desk and explain to me, EXPLAIN TO ME, why I should sweat and labor to save your shitty company hemorrhaging money like a bleeding crack-addicted hobo dying with a sucking chest wound from a chicago skidrow friday-night drive-by?

You dont deserve it. Your management and company culture is worse than incompetent. It's full of smiley guys expounding about their passion for customer service while giving each other sloppy BJs in broom closets, a veritable cornucopia of cult-like corporate dick suckers *and* dickheads, proclaiming, no...PROFESSING (hence "professional") their undying allegiance and dedication to their corporate family with the intensity of cujo, foaming at the mouth, or Mitt Romney preparing for a photoshoot, plastic smiles and feigned laughs.

Dont forget to wipe your chin, asshole. It's not Ronald McDonald your blowing, but it's definitely not Gordon f*cking Ramsey either.

Would you like fries with that?

Every fucking time its the same shit:
Our nontechnical managers meet with the client and try to pass technical requirements to us..
These pieces of shit don't get that this only makes things worse.

Making everyone waste fucking time trying to understand requirements that would be a lot fucking easier if any of us were is any fucking meeting.
But nooooo... We have to fucking be the whole team in fucking meetings with these cock suckers so they can realize they didn't get shit and the back and forth bullshit begins:

We ask questions
They don't know
They schedule meeting with client
They ask their moronic way
The client answers
They schedule meeting with us
We ask questions...

And this fucking loop goes on for-fucking-EVER!

Fuuuuuuck this!!

Vacation time suckers!

FUCK WEB3, FUCK CRYPTO, FUCK NFTS, FUCK ALL THIS PONZI ASS BIG BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU WHOEVER MADE THJS!!!! THE ONLY ONES WHO PROFIT ARE NOT THE ONES WHO BUY CRYPTO OR JPEGS BUT THE ONES ON TOP OF THIS PYRAMID WHO CREATED IT!!!!! MIGHT AS WELL CODE MY OWN PYRAMID COIN/JPEG AND SELL IT TO SUCKERS!!!!!!!! FCKK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can we ever have a truly democratic and uncensored Internet?
I am writing this in irritation and anger as I read a story headlined " Apple CEO backs China’s vision of an ‘open’ Internet as censorship reaches new heights"
Appearantly "Open Internet" as the Chinese Government understands it is, "you can say whatever you want as long as we like it". And Apple being the ass-kissing, 730-million-customer-seeking, co**suckers that they are is only happy to comply. They even removed 674 VPN apps from the Chinese version of their App Store last year to comply with government rules, stating "We strongly believe that participating in markets and bringing benefits to consumers is in the best interests of folks there and in other countries as well, We believe in engaging in governments even when we disagree.”
That was Cook by the way.
Thats two fucking contradictory statements rolled into one!!

Anyway, I know private companies are well within their rights to do what they want to make profits. And I understand Apple might not be at fault totally. But its just so frustrating... :-(
The Net Neutrality repeal in the US, this, the Aadhar shit in India and lots of other stuff thats been happening around the world, that just blatantly undermine Civil Rights and freedom makes me imagine that only a bleak future sits on horizon. Almost Orwellian.

If only people would just realise and revolt a bit... probably we would have a different future then..

I hope I am wrong and this is just the pessimist in me speaking.

Apple you drove of delusional suckers! When will your retarded fashion devices finally support WEBP?!

A gallery page with images, and thanks to WEBP, it's 408 kB. Because Google made WEBP and handed out a well documented CLI FOSS compression tool that even can convert the source PNGs to lossy WEBP with bloody transparency. Well done, Google!

Except that Apple's shitty management can't take it that Google actually made something nice, so no WEBP. Instead, JPEG-2000 that enjoys nearly no fucking tool support. The free tools that even can deal with that mostly don't support transparency, and the encoder sucks donkeys so that JPEG still fucks JPEG-2000 big time.

So it's JPEG with matching background for iOS. Fine, but since JPEG's blocky artifacts are much more visible, the compression can't be that high, and it's 769 kB. That's 88% more image data for Shittari than for non-retarded browsers and even Edge! EDGE!!

Oh and if the user changes light/dark system mode according to surrounding light conditions, guess what happens? Yep, since JPEG doesn't support transparency, now it's different JPEGs with dark background via the media query in the "picture" element, and it's another 754 kB download. Bloody 1523 kB instead of 408 kB, that's a factor of 3.7!

Fuck your ass Crapple, with an electric eel!

I LOVE WORK FROM HOME!! I love it sooooo much. You suckers think I’m actually doing work? HAHA. No honest, I’m so much more productive at home than in the office! Hahaha I love this!!!

#define true ((rand()&15!=15)
// Happy debugging, suckers!!!

I just received this gem this morning.
First of let me start by saying that I am against scammers and all this Nigerian prince crap.
But some of this shit is so bad that it actually pisses me off. My intelligence feels insulted.

Look at this email. These fuckers spent hours perfecting the Hotmail feel to it. The logo, design and even font are in par. As I started reading the shit, the spelling mistakes are so obvious that I wondered; do these nut suckers know that whatever email editor they use, it autocorrects for you? Are they just ignoring the recommendations? I mean they could've even used the "Did you mean" feature in Google. Or any of the freely available grammatical check sites out there.

Think of this as plagiarism. It's bad but a majority of us can appreciate a well planned out one.

I'm yet to encounter a really good scam email that almost had me click their link. There's always an obvious stand out! Is there like a copyright holder to a perfectly well put scam email?!

(And yes, you just read a rant about someone complaining that scammers aren't doing a great job)

Fuck it. It's Friday EOD.

Enough is enough.

It's time to close my lappy and go for a nice long stroll, get all those work thoughts out of my RAM and get ready for two whole days of slacking!!!!

See you next week, suckers!

Okay, fuck it. I'm going to buy $20 worth of every penny crypto currency until one of them explodes making me a millionaire

This is big brain time

I just signed up to get this off my chest.
Dear Windows, you god damn moronic, ugly, unuseable abomination of an excuse for an OS. I wonder how we could end up here in this situation. You suck, in every way imaginable. I didnt choose Linux or Mac, you made me do it.
I know no other OS that can screw you up this bad when setting up. My friend is an experienced windows user and the last install took him 2 days. I just spend the last day trying to get this uncompatible sucker installed. I manage to set up an hackintosh quicker than I was able to install Windows the last three times I checked, you scumbag.
Your error messages suck ass, there is nothing I cant figure out given enough time, except your useless hints and pathetic attemps to get anything done on your own.
And you are fucking slow. Just why, do you keep installing stuff I didnt ask you to. Now I got this ugly ass Bing-Toolbar because I missed a damn checkbox in an .exe, which could have also been an exploit, you never know.
You are cluttered with useless stuff. I dont care about you lame ass app store, idc about your cortana annoying spy assistant and I certainly dont care about your forced updates.
Just sit back and feel your PC getting slower every day by background processes. Watch your productivity decline while dealing with their brain dead privilege and file system.
You ugly malformed mutation of software. When I look at your UI I feel disgust while wondering how you can fail with the most basic principles of UX.
How pathetic, badly supported, bug ridden and dangerously unsecure can an OS be you ask while trying to navigate through the settings, a pile of legacy software debt this garbage pile was build on. And your shell... what a sick joke.
I hate you Windows. For screwing other OS with your asshole boot manager, hardware driver requirements and making people send me .zip and .docx. You should be embarrassed to charge money for this unfunctional junk, but you do, a lot.
I really try to see the positive here. You got all the software, but thats not on you, thats because all those poor suckers are trapped with you and the effort to change is too big.
This OS is the most disappointing thing technology could come up with today. I would rather set myself on fire than work with this pain in the ass software professionally. I mean if you are a serious developer at some point you have to admit that you just cant develop on windows. You will get fucked 5 times as often as any Mac or Linux user. Fuck you, Windows.
Hey Microsoft, thanks for Typescript and VSCode and all the other good things you have done. But burn in hell for what you have done to all of us with this piece of shit OS.

Day 3 of getting this god forsaken react app to launch!!

My fucking god you cock suckers make life difficult.

Npm install - they say
Npm start - that say
Npm - go swallow my god awful error log and fix all these dependencies
Npm - here's a dependency that didn't install but I need it
Npm - what do you mean your not using a fucking Mac with sass files!
C0D4 - I'm this.close() to fucking stabbing someone!

The whole "first job" and "experience" situation is fucked up.

How on God's green earth am I supposed to get tucking experience if you cock suckers won't hire someone for their first job? Like fucking hell.

It's not like I'm going for a "skill demanding" job... I'm trying get a fucking cashier job. I'm fairly certain I can run a cash register and stock the shelves of a store without any experience doing it. It's not exactly rocket science...

I just need some fucking money.

You know since everyone is starting to make jokes about wannacry, why don't we make the mother of all wannacry jokes, a full page website that looks exactly like the computer was infected

Caption this!

I'll start:
FUCK YOU
New Linux CoC(k) suckers!

So I installed Avast because I was downloading some torrents.
After months I suddenly hear a really loud "*ping* *ping* *ping* Eine Bedrohung wurde gefunden". I nearly got a heart attack. I thought I've got a fucking maleware shitty fuck thing, but I had no idea how I could find out where the fuck it was coming from. So I ignored it.

Then, weeks later again: "*ping* *ping* *ping* Eine Bedrohung wurde gefunden", while I was browsing the web.
I thought it was coming from a website so I looked through every tab and window. But nothing.
So I googled the exact sentence it said, and voila:
The first result was from the avast support site.

I opened avast and looked into the settings. There! A checkbox to turn it off! These fucking cock suckers enabled it by default!
It was the first time I enjoyed clicking a fucking checkbox. FUCK YOU AVAST!!!

Why is AntiVirus Software so shitty these days... I'll probably just switch to Windows Defender.

Lol I suck. Learnt coding without a degree in it, enough to be functional. Got an internship at a good place. Made code that worked but didn’t know enough on documenting and testing and can’t give enough time anymore on it to make it reproducible.Actually joined a CS program this fall!

Okay so today I opened a link to buy a screen for my Raspberry pi on my phone(Chrome browser) and was simultaneously using FB on my Laptop in mozilla.

And that very moment I had ads on FB to but that screen.

Now I know it's nothing new, but at the moment of realization it just felt so creepy.

Privacy literally doesn't exist anymore!

!dev

Just sold my car waaayyy under it’s worth just because I don’t have much time left to relocate.

And those fuck faces want me to pay half of THEIR transport costs..

The both of us just signed a fucking contract you morons.
Read the contracts you write before giving them to anyone.

Good for me that I did.

Fucking unfriendly assholes trying to rip people off twice in a row..

They make immigrants look bad just because those guys are fucking idiots..

They didn’t get another penny from me those cock suckers..

And now, a good evening too all of you.

Just8littlebyte out! *mic drop*

Things that seem "simple" but end up taking a long ass time to actually deploy into production:

1. Using a new payment processor:

"It's just a simple API, I'll be done in 2 hours"

LOL sure it is, but testing orders and setting up a sandbox or making sure you have credentials right, and then switching from test to life and retesting, and then... fuck

2. Making changes to admin stats.

"'I just have to add this column and remove that one... maybe like a couple of hours"

YOU WISH

3. Anything Javascript

"Hah, what, that's like a button, np"

125 minutes later...

console.log('before foo');
console.log(this.foo)
etc..

PCs are a clusterfuck these days. Microsoft has abandoned the niceness of Win-7 and opted for Win-10 - with spyware, untested forced updates and forced online licence checks to make sure you have to get the shit. Macs are total crap, and Apple doesn't care because they instead prefer to milk customers with overpriced iShit. Linux sucks and looks like a Soviet tractor, but at least, it doesn't fuck up itself just by switching it on.

I had Linux as only OS from 2001 to 2010, and while I obviously can deal with it, I finally hated it enough to switch over to Win-7. From 2020 on, it looks like I will be back because Microsoft has managed to fuck up Windows even worse (and then these suckers wonder why Github users don't trust them). Maybe I'll buy a Tux when I install Linux so that I can punch it in the face.

Progress was yesterday - today it's about damage control. Welcome to a world where the brightest CS guys are thinking about how not only to shove up even more ads into peoples' asses, but how to also transmit lab data of the poo.

#define TRUE FALSE
//Happy debugging suckers

React router is shit
I have never seen more retarded library.

Not only those suckers change the 100% of the API every fucking update for no reason, also they have the most fucked up documentation ever.

No search in the docs!!! Fucking bullshit examples with no such easy things like how to create nested routes.

Please, stop using this piece of shit, I'm tired of working with this fucking abomination. Hope they will delete their shit repo one day.

I love how NPM packages explain their options.

Read it somewhere

//Happy debugging suckers
# define true (rand() > 10)

Fucking fuck Nvidia. Shit suckers and ass lickers can't make a fucking thing properly. Everytime I have to compile something involving cuDNN and cuda I wish I could kill myself first. It's a piece of garbage software that we're stuck with. Fuck you mother fuckin Nvidia.

Wow, thanks for the super-helpful e-reader deal, Tom's Guide.... >_>

How to conduct yourself in a job interview
Simple test"Write a for loop".
First, write some nonsense bullshit for twenty minutes. Then, when you realize time is up, pass to the next question. After write more nonsense bullshit in SQL and jQuery, it's time to breath fast and panic.
Deliver your exam.
Pack your stuff and go to a cave where nobody ever will find you, cry the next three years and commit to a life of self punishment, shame and tears.
That's how you nail a job interview, suckers.

Dear Facebook.

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CUNTS.
The next time you upgrade your piece of shit application on iOS and remove stuff from their place which makes me search all the way your crap battery vacuum application until i fuckin find it i will come to your office find that dumb zuckerberk and push the fuckin chair he sits at down to his throat.

Same goes for your retarded website.
Suckers.

Every time I try to use TypeScript for something, everything I learned a month ago is deprecated. Tsconfig keeps changing. The way to get and set up definition files has changed like 5 times now. From downloading, all the way to referencing. Can we please just settle on something now?

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
GO FIX YOUR FUCKIN C# METHODS

Language felt good but jesus fuckin christ.

HOW YOUR File.Exists() can be so retarded jesus fuckin christ
I mean god, how retarded can it be when i obtain the current directory with your builtin method (System.Environment.CurrentDirectory) attach to it the directory name with the images i need and I ALWAYS GET FALSE ABOUT ITEMS THAT ARE FUCKIN THERE.

Fix your fuckin encodings too, suckers.

Head, nice try you cock suckers. Your mother should have swallowed.

Hello Apple. Let me tell you something.
Even though i like your phones. I ABSOLUTELY WANT TO FUCKIN KILL YOU FOR YOUR HEADPHONES.
It's unbelievable you cock suckers, evey time the same shit happens.
WHY THE FUCK YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AFTER 3-4 MONTHS START TO BEHAVE LIKE THEY ARE FUCKIN RETARDED.
1st headphones, they started changing songs randomly. That was back when i had iphone6.
It's ok i said, happens. Then i bought the iphone 7 and the headphones started behaving like that after some months. Again. Didn't say anything, i still liked them. So i went to buy the same headphones but for iphone6, with the 3.5mm jack. AND NOW THE SAME SHIT HAPPENS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AND YOUR FUCKIN 200€ HEADPHONES. COCKSUCKERS.

So, anyone knows any good quality headphones?
FUCK YOU APPLE.

Cost explorer also have a "cost"... What exactly do i need to see before running away. Fucking tired of these shits! (－‸ლ)

//Happy Debugging suckers..

#define true ((rand()&15)!=15)

Got a code for the Adobe suite which made it the same price as the student package so i could use PS for a tiny project and to dick around a little bit: mostly to see what has changed since CS5. Project was done in 2 weeks and I didn't open PS again for months, letting my subscription lapse too. Well if your subscription lapses Adobe deletes all of it's apps from your machine with no fucking notice. Pretty fucked when you are out in the sticks with shit internet and limited bandwidth, not to mention the ethical shitfuckery of it. So I tried to cancel my subscription, but because the deal i got using the discount thingy there is no button to cancel like there normally is and tech support tell you that you can BUY OUT OF YOUR CONTRACT by paying ~60% of the yearly cost upfront. I told them to fuck themselves and 30 mins later had the subscription canceled.
Am I the only one that sees anything wrong with all this??

Well I recently decided to apply for a job although I was planning to go to college in full time this October.

I saw the job ad whilst being active on Stack Overflow. As I just finished my apprenticeship some months ago, I decided to call the firm and ask if I can apply. I clearly stated what I have done before and what knowledge I've gained and what I'm not able/willing to do.

I was "allowed" to apply and additionally took two coding challenges (I completed all tasks with the correct results) as well as a one-hour telephone interview.

After that I almost immediately got invited to a personal job interview after the firm's boss agreed.

The meeting ran very well and I was able to correctly answer almost all questions. Although I was applying for a complete backend position I was asked unconditionally many questions about frontend/webdesign, what I clearly stated that I'm not good at this and thus also not looking for a job with such an requirement.

Two days later I got the response form the HR, that they were looking for some more experienced (within a professional software development team) which I didn't because I was mostly working as the programmer and IT guy in non-IT department in the company I worked before. That hasn't been a mystery I wasn't telling before. 😮😮😮😮

But HR additionally told me, they noticed - whilst in the recruitment process with me - that they already have enough backend devs and are seeking for a frontend dev instead.

Well then why the f*ck do you upload a job ad when you suckers don't need that position? And why the hell do you think you then have to waste my time with a frontend-oriented interview? Get your shit on the way and just invite people you really want to employ.

So rethink. Much wow.

Dear xcode,
you fckn bitch did it again. I really wanted to do some iOS development, I swear. But you are like an abusive relationship, I have this weird habit of coming back to you even though I am getting fucked in the ass in parallel.
I love Swift but I despise you xcode. Randomly fucking up my workflow, and then it is clean build folder, reset package cache, restart xcode. Again and again and again you fuck things up out of nowhere. And from time to time, you just have to install the newest version of xcode because its so fucked up its easier to download this MASSIVE asshole than to even try to fix anything if you know its just xcode again.
Yeah, fuck extensions and formatting. Just fuck humanly tolerable build time. Fuck you xcode.
I am not an experienced dev with iOS nor am I a common Mac user but this is just wrong. I feel violated and the joy of development sucked out of my soul while I try to navigate through the overloaded interface.
I am not even going into details about iOS development, its just that xcode is the gatekeeper to get me the fuck out of this miserable place that is native iOS development.
Arrivederci, suckers.

Fuckin twats at Nike.

How the fuck did you manage to accept a non existent email as a valid email for the fuckin accounts you suckers

Last 2 runs were unable to sync so i had to logout before seeing that the account mail i used when i created the account has a misspelling which I didn’t notice until now but yet, the account was created.

Suckers i lost all my runs the last years which were about 300+ K km.

Sent products a list of everything wrong with their requirements and why it would take an army to build (there are only 2 of us backend ninjas). Suddenly its crickets. No-one is replying me now. Suckers..

Most of my fellow developer country mates are so big suckers that they first ask for money, huge money and then try to show there unprofessional skills. However, indeed the right way is that first you should show your skills hone it to professional level and then ask for money. Assholes.

Holy shit big companies are absolutely rubish. How on earth do they not think about the long term. I'm like "look what we are doing isn't right, we can't make new functionality that will no longer works in 6month. The other department webservices are changing and you're well aware of that" and they're like "we need to produce value, we don't have the resources, blabla". Why should I care? f#ck you it's not my company and don't come back crying that it's not working.

This is a story of a lovely lady.
she had several clips of bills stuffed in her dress

and a frustrated programmer

found that they were there where I had pressed.. them.

now heres a story of a crap economy that gave quite more than a hunch that to hang on to your well paying shit job, gets their panties in a great big bunch

a great big bunch a great big bunch
keep your job and in their nuts
they feel a punch :P

now dont you chase no, brand new techy, most of it for complete suckers. by the time that its usuable, the company that made it gave up :P

it gave up
it just gave up
if it was real in the first place at all it just gave up :P

I had a job opportunity with okayish maybe good job and more money. Last november. But i had a bad feeling somehow. I told my boss and he said he will try to get a raise for me of i stayed, so I stayed. He wrote some stuff so mgmt to hopefully get my raise.

Meanwhile super important project took place. I have to meet deadline, this friday. Was somewhat motivated, did a lot of overtime.

Today mgmt responded, raise denied. Because i can not prove i have an open opportunity with that salary. No shit after it took them two months!

And the day after tomorrow is the deadline. Bad timing, suckers, bad, bad timing. I will deliver what i have regardless how buggy tomorrow and take friday off.

TELEKOM ARE YOU RETARDED? although paying for a business contract we were a whole day without internet - a technician was sent between 17:00 - 20:00 and never rang the doorbell. Also, I spent a sum of about 2 hours (!!!!!!!!) Just In the queue (¡!!¡!!!¡¡¡!!!) Of the hotline. It shouldn't be called TELEKOM - TELLEFUCKOFF would suit better! MAGENTA MY ASS SUCKERS!

!wk94

Those meetings.

Those bloody meetings are nothing but time suckers. Much akin to some family event where they bring everyone together, regardless of their relevance to the agenda.

Also, the fact that we have been scheduling some important meeting always since 2 fucking months, only to be declined ALWAYS. The bloody meeting has been floating as an action item for 2 months, but none gives a fuck.

But no, we want to have meetings about meetings, and meetings about why a meeting didn't happen.

Also they ask us to stretch and accommodate, sucking time out of dev.

W H Y ?

I don't know how post works in other countries, but seems the most retarded way to work is in mine.

When an item you have ordered arrives to local post(no ups, acs) the post sends you a small paper that says that you can go and pick the thing you have ordered.

So today i come home from a morning meeting about a programming job as a university student, which made me feel good and see that paper has arrived. The item i ordered is a programming book.

Well, getting excited since i waited about 2 weeks, i get it and go to the post office. After waiting almost 1 hour my turn comes. I go to pick it and the employee tells me COME TOMORROW TO PICK IT UP.

YO
YOU FUCKIN SUCKERS, IF IT'S MEANT TO GET IT TOMORROW DONT FUCKIN SEND ME THAT FUCKIN PAPER WHICH WRITES THAT MY FUCKIN ORDER ARRIVED TODAY.
LOSING MY TIME BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKIN RETARDED AND THE SAME WILL HAPPEN TOMORROW. AUTISTIC FUCKS. I'M GONNA GET THAT FUCKIN BOOK AND SMASH YOUR HEAD WITH IT

"All Windows users are suckers"
~ Stallman

#define true false //Happy debugging suckers!

I have the entire week off and you suckers have to go into work Monday!

Ha!!

I'll be in Dollywood if you need me.

Damn it. This WiFi service in the train sucks. Not only they do block so dangerous stuff like Ubuntu packages but it is not even fast / reliable enough to give me stable SSH. NOT EVEN VIA FREAKING MOSH! We are talking UDP and couple of kbytes. Thankfully they let me pay for it after using up my generous 15 free minutes. Suckers.

I think all Steve Jobs cock suckers are migrating to gitlab without giving Microsoft a chance!

Documentation. I know what I'm doing here. Future me will have no idea though. Neither will the suckers who have to maintain this spaghetti

Oh my god the only type I'll never ever respect or consider is those bunch of suckers that treat people differently. Say hi with a big smile to managers and not even an eye contact to others (same with those who disrespect waiter, etc.). You can be anything: extrovert/introvert, shy no problem I get it but a coward no thank you.