Had to create this table tent because mfs just couldn't take a hint. I also have one for when I'm concentrating/deep in code zone.

I've tried to joke about it, but you won't pick up the hint. I've told you about the smell, but you think it is a joke. It's not. It. Is. Not. A. Joke.

STOP MICROWAVING FISH IN THE OFFICE YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!

When we finally get to Mars, all programmers on Earth will scream in pain over having to program another timezone

Thats Elon Musk guys and girls. source: reddit

These foreign Indian scammers keep calling me about "computer virus".

Today, the guy told me to press ctrl + Windows key. I told him I use Arch Linux and then told him I use Netscape as my browser, and he still didn't take the hint.

He asked me "how can you have the Windows key on your keyboard and use Linux?".

#stupidfuck

Me: double taps a rant to upvote.

Popup: Hint. You can double tap a rant to upvote.

Umm, sure. Thanks..

Do not disturb someone especially if they are in the zone.

Hint : earphones on, a ton of error logs on screen.

git commit -m "adding summer 2009 photos"

I wrote an answer, in my exam, about the precedence of operators.

Took a random example: "3+4*6", and explained that "*" has higher precedence, so "4*6" would be executed first and so on.

Long story short, this was the last line in my answer:

"The answer is 27, not 42."

🦫Me a kid: I hope some day I will earn enough $ to by a cool-ass PC and play games on highest graphics presets

🤡Me an adult: I sure did earn enough $ to afford a cool-ass PC though it is a shame that I cannot find time & energy to play games

tl;dr I need ideas on how to warn the next dev(s) that the company is a dumpster fire.

------

For the past week (actual time: three days) I've been writing documentation for work, since there isn't any. It's been okay, I guess. Certainly more interesting than anything else I've done at work in months.

I'm up to 10k words / 67kb of markdown, and I think I'm done. I could easily write another 30k words on everything, but I just can't care enough.

However, what I do care about is warning the next dev(s) about how terrible the place is to work, so I want to add little references or hints or other such things to my writing. To complicate that, there's a contractor dev who said he will edit the document to strip out my commentary and make it "friendly" for the next person. (I can kind of see why: I've been quite honest about the situation of everything, and it's pretty dire. If they read it as-is, they might just walk out the door. I certainly would have.) I'm also going to commit it to the repo, and afaik he doesn't have push rights, so he can't force-push and remove it. (and a force-push by someone else, adding my documentation immediately after I leave... that would be pretty fishy, too.)

Anyway, at someone's suggestion, I added a "three envelopes" reference in the access phrase generator section. I also wrote "Promises made outside of ES6 will not resolve" -- in the warning section of a document almost entirely about Rails. (because the boss has broken every single promise he has ever made me.)

What other hints and subtle warnings could I add?

(And hurry: tomorrow is my last day! ;3)

So this guy called me. I hung up at the second 'ring'. He called again and I hung up immediately. I mean without picking up.

Please, get the hint, I'm fucking busy. Leave a message, I'll call you back if needed.

But don't try and contact me a THIRD TIME in a time frame of 1 minute. Not through WhatsApp. That's borderline harassment GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Theres only 2 kinds of people in this world:

1. var username;
2. var user_name;

Hint: one of them will burn in hell

For any job, you can include in your resume, without a hint of lying, that you are Time magazine person of the year 2006. Seriously.

This may give us some hint of which one will fall down first.

@dfox, my avatar would really like duel monitors for Christmas. Hint hint...

This “Caps lock is on” feature when typing in passwords was probably very angrily added by a developer after several failed log in attempts.

*sees a hint suggestion in Netbeans*
*Alt + Enter*
"Hmm, makes sense. "
*Chooses suggestion but error line still pertains*
"Eh...."
*Alt + Enter confusingly*
*sees a suggestion that changes everything back to original*
TFW IDE plays with you more than your girlfriend :(

I coded for a whole day (uninterrupted, literally woke up, grabbed my laptop and headphones and started) and suddenly, let wild parent shows up.
"Aren't you going to go out? You need to see some friends"
My response: As stated before, I have no friends, now leave
**Leaves**
**Comes back 2 hours later**
"Hey can you help me with my computer?"
Me: you didn't state the issue, what computer, what os, what you have done to fix it, have you even tried rebooting?
"Don't talk like that to me! Now come and help me!"
Me: nope, hint, answer the questions about your issue
"You rude piece of..."
**Starts screaming bla bla bla**

Wow, it has happened before that I treat people wanting help like me trying to debug, but I usually correct myself. I took it way to fucking far this time...

Human source code is stored in balls :O

Is that a hint?

Almond, are you there?

> Sure, of course.

Oh ok, it said you were on mute.

> I was, I always go on mute if I'm not talking to help cut down on background noise **hint hint**

That's very confusing for the rest of us, can you leave your mic on please?

> Right... Okay.

Caught myself spelling name Jason as json. Send help

--------------------

It blows my mind that Google, advertisers, and a lot of companies seem to not understand the concept of a need fulfilled.

Google news: If you notify me of an article, and then I click on that notification, you can assume I read it. And you can also assume that I don't wish to read it again 2hrs later! So stop notifying me!!!

Amazon, AdSense, Facebook, everyone else: just because I bought new headphones, doesn't mean I wanna see ads for headphones. Actually it means the exact opposite. I don't want new headphones. I literally just bought some. And I especially don't want the exact same ones. I already have them.

Somehow, the targeted ads are worse than random. That's annoying.

How is this hard?

Lets check out the dev in you.

Problem: Print "Hello World" in C in such a way that you cannot use any semicolon anywhere in the program.

Try this without using internet.

Hint: You only need to know basics of C.

I never had problems with punctuation marks during coding, especially the notorious semicolons because I've always used an IDE, ain't gotta time to waste on compiler errors.

But today I meet my nemesis, a fucking comma wasted an hour of my precious time, causing my unit tests to fail in Python, my unit tests where expecting a list and the actual value is a tuple, it turned out that there was this trailing comma - which I don't know where the hell it came from - at the end of a function call that returns a list.

I only noticed this freaking comma after Pycharm indicated a conflict between the returned type and the expected type and underlined the culprit, that small invisible fucker 😬.

Thank you Pycharm and type hints in Python 3.

this is why, my fellow devs, you have to use an IDE.

PS: For those of you who aren't familiar with python, a trailing comma at end of a variable turns it into a one element tuple.

1, = (1,)

Thanks for the hint Mr. ASCII Cow

Life in tech industry... 😜

JavaScript frameworks are bad
Each upvote on this post hinders development of bad JavaScript frameworks

Vue 1.0 got released in 2015. Now it's 2021 and Vue 1 apps can no longer run in Firefox due to compatibility issue.

THIS IS JS FRAMEWORK FOR YOU. The lifespan of an app written on a JS framework is 5 years. But people will not learn, they will keep cmxll,xdl,d;'mzaaaaaaaxsxzxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxa

soo.. yeah.. I've just solved an annoying bug using only chatgpt.

My first commit in this new project. And it's based on chatgpt.

Literally just saved me from days of reading through kafka docs, auth mechanisms and other stuff. And no, the google did not provide me with a proper answer/hints. The only hint was "the configuration might be wrong". Well alright, but I was NOT using any configuration in the first place...

Fun times ahead :) I might even consider the pro version if it keeps delivering like that.

Doing a distribution center job right now just to pay the bills and had to do voice order picking (with a headset and voice commands etc) today. Well, that didn't go ideal:
*girl walks by and gives me a tip/hint*
Me: *puts headset back on*
Headset voice: you've logged off. Truck could not be located by provided ID.

😓😮

I said "fair enough, thanks!" 😐

FACTS:
1. Gaming consoles are just PCs with a ton of limitations imposed on them by the manufacturer

why all the hate for php?

anytime any solution is "just execute this on commandline", without so much as a hint of explanation what said "this" does

Producer: "We need this new feature by next Wednesday's release. Enter estimates into the task, ok?"

Me: ಠ_ಠ

hint for the estimate: by next Wednesday

Playing Minecraft minigames.

It's a pictionary clone. One player draws a secret word while the other players have a minute to guess.

Along the bottom is a hint.

Hint is in "_ _ _ l e" format.

Possible word is apple, for example.

I already win half of the games.

I can win more.

Initiate cheating.

Python script that accepts input in same format as hint and returns a list of results based on the word database.

Any time I come across a new word just add it to the database.

Stopped at 69 words tonight.

Game on.

Found this Nokia 1100, when you see it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hint: you can see Windows logo on the screen

Google: buys Android
Makes tons of $ from Ads
Meanwhile 7 year old bugs
Are still not fixed

A bug reported in 2012: recently created files are not visible when using MTP protocol.

Guess what? I still have this bug on my 2017 phone, like many other people.
Probably has something to do with file cache.

Because obviously 7 years is not enough to fix a stupid bug. Especially when Google is busy implementing all the other features nobody asked for except marketing department

I love reviewing code. I learned a better way to write something. That feeling of "hum, that's a lot better than what I have been doing" is great.

Me setting up Webpack for a project

Error: can't resolve ./src

Guess what? ./src exists. So I go searching for an answer, and it turns out webpack looks for ./src/index.js and if it can't find it then it throws an error.

But the error message is: can't resolve ./src

The issue was reported ages ago but webpack devs never improved the error message

THIS IS WHY WEBPACK SUCKS 💩

Yes it might seem like a little detail but it just makes it all the more obvious that Webpack sucks right from the start when you set up a project the error message is stupid and unspecific

I think there is such a thing as "getting too comfortable with the people you work with".

My boss came over and wanted to show me how to do a new process. We start going through the steps and a question arises. I then IM my team lead, because he's the one who would know the answer, and all I get back from him is sarcastic comments and profanity (he doesn't know my boss is sitting at my comp with me). So I keep trying to get him to be serious, and he just keeps his mouth (well, fingers) going. (He is remote - not in our bldg). I want so badly to shut him up because what if he says something about my boss while she is sitting there? Not that he does that, but at the pace he's going, it no longer would surprise me.

There should be some sort of code to hint to your team to STFU and give a fucking answer when one is needed. Sort of like what kids do to hint that a parent is in the room, but for work?

My life in a nutshell
⛅ morning = sleep 😴
☀️ day = coding job 🖥️
🌆 evening = coding job 🖥️
🌘 night = play videogames 🕹️
Weekend
⛅ morning = sleep 😴
☀️ day = sleep 😴
🌆 evening = cycling 🚲
🌘 night = play videogames 🎮
always alone

My fav interview was at my previous job. It was a junior position. The lead was a very friendly and wise guy. He kept pushing me (positively) with subtle hint until I get a code right. After completing each problem he give me elaborate explanation about the meaning of the problem and how to approach it from other angles. It felt like I'm in front of buddha who is making me realize the inner working of the world. Didn’t get 50% of the questions right, still he recruited me because "You were very curious and you were having fun solving problems". Best one and half years of my career.

Polite way to say fuckoff

excuse yourself from the person and start typing
" what is the polite way to say fuck off to person" in google while saying words in moderate voice. Another person should hear you or see your screen and get the hint!

Let's play spot the error!

Hint:
THERE'S A COMMA ON THE END OF THE LINE THAT HAS BEEN CAUSING MY LIST TO BE WRAPPED IN A SECOND LIST AND IT HAS TAKEN ME AN HOUR TO FIND.

Good luck finding it, it's hard!

So I tried to set up Google AdSense on my website to show ads and earn some $... Next day AdSense console tells me that they've found "Adult: Sexual content" on my site. Like, WTF? There was nothing of such sort.

PEASANT POOR MAN'S TECH
* Python
* Java
* JavaScript
* Vue
* Golang

ENLIGHTENED ELITE TECH
* C#
* Kotlin
* TypeScript
* React
* C++

Solid cube of command blocks. Any guesses what it does?

Hint: hasbro.

(There aren't many context clues in the image, so you'll probably need to blindly guess)

when a client doesn't have their images or copy for their website but wonder what the hold up is. (hint: it's not us)

Article 13 is like a nightmare,
already mass surveillance is widespread and getting stronger with new laws (hint Australia),
now freedom to express ourselves is eroding.

🤐🤐🤐

(popup) ERROR OCCURRED!

But we're not going to tell you what it is...
Or at hint what the root cause is...
Let alone tell you how to fix it...

Hey i see you published your tool without a hint of a build instruction you failed attempt of a decent human being, i hope you dissolve into the puddle of cum you once were next time it rains :)

What's the best Slav programming language?

Hint: czech motorcycle, typically red

Stolen from Life of Boris Q&A

Java Wicket UI is the worst
Java Wicket UI is the worst
Java Wicket UI is the worst
Java Wicket UI is the worst
Java Wicket UI is the worst
Java Wicket UI is the worst
I typed every line instead of copying & pasting

Programming sucks but I gotta say real life sucks even more 🤔

Was in our mail today... It's a magazine where you can take evening classes in the IT branch. Who can see the error? It can be found without speaking french. Here is the translation of the headline: Application programming in Java.

(Hint: Web development was on another page.)

I just compiled my own kernel. It took me such a long time [because i'm a crackpot or because i'm german] that i'm not even a hint proud

🪙 The golden age of tech is coming to an end. We currently live in a world of tech built by engineers and great minds; both Windows and Linux are great in their own ways. PCs are the peak of engineering, both desktops and laptops because of how versatile, powerful and universal they are. They serve engineers, designers and end users. You can do anything you can imagine; because the great people who built it, did it in such way that they themselves could use and enjoy it.

📱 The tech of the future will become ever more limited. The next generation of humans will use Chrome OS gladly and not even feel limited because they never experienced the freedom provided by a true personal computer device. Android OS is already getting ever closer to restricting 3rd party APK installers. Big tech will do everything they can to limit freedoms and make everyone use cloud, where they can charge $ for every damn click.

☎️The consumer-facing tech will become increasingly dumbed-down over time. The programmers and engineers will be still able to use "true" tech, but only for work. In everyday life, they will have to be content with the dumb limited tech.

And there is nothing we can do to stop it.

A few years back, I was a newly hired developer visiting the corporate HQ in NYC. We went to lunch, where the execs ordered a round of drinks.

I commented that drinking during the work day was an odd practice in my experience. The CEO jokingly explained how it made going home to his wife at the end of the day easier (or something to that effect). “You know what I mean?”

To which I reply (with no hint of irony): “No… My life loves me.”

😎

Hello guys. Today I bring you my list of top 3 programs that use too much memory

🪟 Windows 10+
⚛️ Web browsers, Electron
🐋 Docker containers

Honorable mention: ☕Java

The developers of those programs should put more effort into optimizing memory usage

I had a weird dream last night: at the office, my co-worker sliding a wide rubber band over my cup of coffee up and down 🤔☕

Programmers: working tirelessly to create ever more advanced tech for handling information 💻

Governments around the world: oh, the citizens want something from us? They better get ready for PAPERS 📃

The year is 2022, ok¿

It's new to you?
First step: Start playing around with it like a little kid.

So you heard from that awesome tool that apparantly everybody uses.

Go to the web page:
One single continuous page in 90ies style with random blahblah targetting expert users and various edge cases without context. Some lines about arcane build commands in an unfamiliar language.

Not even a single, comprehensive line, what it does, what it is good for, no minimal example or hint even how to run it.

So you write thousands of lines of dense code, but are not able to drop some first lines of plain, understandable english for people just visiting the first time? How hard could it be? Fuck you, srsly.

🤔 What if my co-workers see my rant on devRant and recognize that I'm ranting about the project that we're building together? Might be awkward *thinking

Just came across this gem. What's wrong with it??

Yes, the threat of SQL injection here is a legit response, but in this particular case that's not the answer I'm looking for.

Hint: This method gets called a lot!

1 89 36
Decode it!! 😉😁
Hint given below 👇

What if I could focus on coding 🤔 instead of
• meetings
• bureaucracy
• freezing in my apartment
• asking dumb questions
• procrastinating

well if the otakus of the Devrant-verse reads this, they get free updoots

(Hint: It's a Love Live Sunshine Character)

A few people on here enjoyed solving my previous puzzle, so I made a new one!

Solve:
DLSS KVUL, FVB'CL ZVSCLK AOPZ WBGGSL.

Hint:
Rome was build on [...] hills and had [...] kings. [...] played a critical role in the events that led to the demise of the Roman Republic and the rise of the Roman Empire.

Good luck! Post your answer in the comments.

So who knows about this beauty / THE BEAST

Hint : Nvidia

Comment if you are fanboy of GPU tech! I am certainly 😎

Java errors: if something is underlined in red in the IDE then it is a real error for sure

TypeScript errors: if something is underlined in red in the IDE then 50% of the time it is some 🤡 sh*t

I am falling asleep in front of my PC right now. I hate it when people disturb my sleep on Sunday ☕

Game developers who limit frame rate to 60 in year 2022... Are you ok? 🤔

If you ever feel dumb, remember that smartphones with 16GB+ RAM exist

I'm debugging a script...

It takes 1+ minute to start because it loads data from remote API and apparently loading 80k objects takes a lot of time, even though I need only headers

I could optimize it. Like, add a local cache. But I will not.

Instead I will waste 1 minute, then another minute, then another minute, each time hoping it's the last pass, but no. I will waste the whole day on it and at the end of the day I will still NOT have the slightest idea why it is slow. That is what will happen, I predict it.

Good times

Brothers and sisters I have ascended

From my early chilidhood I was taught by my parents & society that I should put effort into doing things that I "MUST", be kind and polite to others

Tis' all bullshit; never lift a finger if you do not feel like it; never help people free of charge; if you dislike a particular undertaking then it is not worth even an ounce of effort.

We live in a society.

I respect Qt
I respect Qt
I respect Qt
I respect Qt
I respect Qt

I typed every line and did not copy any of those lines to show how much I respect Qt.

Have a nice day, gentlemen

Why do some devs who work for corpos have a superiority complex?

“Oh I cannot imagine working on a small team of 3 people (2 devs, 1 designer) on a website”, saying it like if he was disgusted. “The team I work in has 40 people”, with a hint of superiority in his voice.

Bro, chill for a moment, it ain’t a race to the top.

*Nervous student comes in for the first interview I am conducting as a developer*

Me (as an interviewer): What is best approach to search data?

Student: It will take linear time but if data is sorted, we can do it in logarithmic time.

Me: [Smiles] Take a hint Hash Map?

Student: Yes, with it, we can do it in constant time.

Me: Okay, Bloom Filter anytime?

Student: *sweating* noooo...

Me: Okay. I am a developer so I know this.

Student: *about to cry*

Me: No problem but why will you search data when there is no problem? Don't you have better work.

Student: *confused* yup

Me: *laughs but immediately controls* Take it lightly. You know what you need to do this job. You are HIRED. :)

Got a strange thing today in class, as a teacher in programming. We have a lab where the computers haven't yet their final configuration ended, so the user used by the students is the administrator of the computer. And today, a student calls me and tell "sir, the password isn't the one you gave to us" (temporary the same for each machine until we fix the configuration).
Go to student's place, password incorrect with a hint "you know the code : up, up, down, down... oh, you don't know, huh? Too old! Too bad!"
Password was - off course - "konami".

But... how a student born in 1997 can think he can troll me with the konami code?!
He wasn't even born when I played on the NES as kid!

Sometimes I'd like to teach my students how to fly by tossing them by the windows...

Hello guys. Today I bring you my personal top 3 programming languages

🥇 Go
🥈 TypeScript
🥉 Java

🏅Honorable mention: Free Pascal

Thanks for reading

When a password hint tool throws an error saying your password is too weak, you then remove a symbol and it now works 👌

We live in a society 🤡

Windows is more open than commercial Android distributions provided by the major phone manufacturers

Have a nice day ☕

You know who is pathetic? People who turn off comments after they get negative feedback on something they posted

Apple is like.. government. Bureaucracy all aover, burgeoise

So here I am investigating something our users are claiming. I look up which user the UserId did the change and I see not only the user but also the users password in clear text in a separate field. I thought that field was for a password hint that the user can set up, but I asked around and apparently, no... It's literally the plain text version of the password stored in the database, next to the hash of the password.
Apparently, the users were so impossible to deal with that we added that column and for users that constantly pester us about not knowing their password and not wanting to change it, we added a plaintext password field for them :D

Hello guys. Today I come to unleash an army of bugs upon your

🛡️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️🛡️
🛡️🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🛡️
🛡️🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🛡️
🛡️🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🛡️
🛡️🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🛡️

Imagine having a font where two DIFFERENT letters look the SAME

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

I started learning Rust and now I know the answer to the question "What would a programming language look like if the engineers were tasked with designing a bad programming language on purpose"

Did you know? TL;DR stands for "too long; didn't read".
BUT DID YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT THE REST OF THE FUCKING TEXT MATTERS TOO?

Fucking read the rest before trying to be helpful. You wouldn't discuss a book after reading the summary, the same applies to questions.

"just do it like that"
"But that's not what I asked, I need it this way"
"Why would you need it this way?"
"ID fucking K. Maybe I left a fucking hint about that in the context? Can you spare like one or two minutes to read the context?"

Coworker writes functions accepting 8+ arguments, thinks it's ok

What marriage and military service have in common❔

Both start with the letter Ⓜ️

My GOTOs are:

- Check if focus on teamwork is emphasized. Does the company state themselves? Spend a day with the team if possible, see how they work together.

- What tools do they use? Sometimes this will hint you towards whether or not you will encounter a good environment or a jumbled mess.

- Is there organized communication? I know, sometimes there are too many meetings, but that is better than too vew. How often does the team meet, even if just for 10mins? How does management communicate with the team? What ways are provided to give feedback? Are suggestions to improve practices welcome?

I left my last company and joined my current one, where these things work out the way they should. While I liked both projects with respect to development, my mental state has improved dramatically in the new environment. Stress is down, productivity is up. I love my job.

how i declare Coding session of the day to be over : when i see an error about an error that is not an error... :D

(hint: fatal: validation failed but when asked if it passed, returns true... )

Does anyone else feel that "retirement" is an outdated concept? Our generation will probably never truly retire, not in the same sense that this word meant in 20th century.

Considering how much the government-mandated retirement age went up; most of us will prolly die from continuous stress way before the day of "retirement" comes

THE TYPESCRIPT DEFINITIONS SAGA CONTINUES

> IHateForALiving: so, I don't really know which field we're supposed to use here, but that's your entity I'm working on, so...
> TeamLeader2: wait, what is this? Why does your code have autocomplete?
> IHateForALiving: Every time I worked on some parts of the code I've been writing some type definitions along the way, and it's adding autocomplete if you type hint your code... but I've been told not to write them anymore, so I stopped
> TeamLeader2: But why tho? It's so fucking handy
> IHateForALiving:

Fucking hell, I can't even cook in piece without my mother constantly shouting shit, because the phone doesn't make beautiful selfies anymore. hint: there's a fucking crack over the lense,because you dropped it and no changing all possible settings while throwing out all patience, common sense and ability to read will not improve this situation

i tried to tell her that she could still try to make do with her main camera and when she switches she asked me: "But why does it still make normal photos when I rotate the thing?!" Because unlike your mind this camera isn't damage now fuck off, with all your nervousity I tried to relax and cook us something, but that was more stressful than all the work I did today.

Windows PowerToys randomly locked an image on my computer and I was not able to delete it.
I closed PowerToys and was able to delete the image.
But why was the file locked by Power"Toys" in the first place? Hint: I did not use any tool on this image whatsoever, I just randomly noted it was locked. Wtf are all these programs doing in my private files without my knowledge? >:(

Software engineering isn't a great side-career if your aspiration is to do other things.

It takes way too much of your time to let you do anything else.

Me: not even using typescript (even disabled everywhere), living a happy life.......

VS Code: TS ERROR....TS ERROR... TS HINT....

Well, fuck you too Microsoft.

Rust ahahaah hhaahah ahah

the trait bound `std::result::Result<std::string::String, std::io::Error>: std::convert::AsRef<[u8]>` is not satisfied
the trait `std::convert::AsRef<[u8]>` is not implemented for `std::result::Result<std::string::String, std::io::Error>`

To all people attending technical interviews.
If the job spec asks for a specific toolset (SQL server and ssis in this case), small hint.

Mention the fucking tools in your answers to questions!

I understand that some people have trouble with home office.

Well. I don't.

But at least have the fugging frigging respect and
1) answer my bloody questions, especially if I'm frigging nice and make a questionaire and notify you without a shitty meeting.
2) when you ask for an appointment during non working hours.... Then don't be fucking late and especially don't fucking miss it without telling.
3) And don't... Don't fucking give me a bullshit excuse like "yeah, I forget".
At least an honest apology....

I'm currently really close to murder people or call an meeting where I declare that waiting for appointments will be counted as work time.

(hint: this is the fucking sixth time in 4 weeks someone fucked up. And I'm really pissed)

Unpopular opinion: WFH is dull without cafeteria.

I wish people took concurrency more seriously
I get the feeling that often people start writing a project while giving 0 f*cks about thread safety, thinking that it is somehow handled "automatically" by the framework
Only to discover later that large amounts of their code are not thread safe and were only working fine in the past because there were fewer requests, so the chance for two requests happening simultaneously was low

All those rating about missing ; really, what IDE dont give you a hint about it? Havnt had a ; issue since the floppydrive.

What if Java actually existed ☕🤔

A question to JS developers...
Why 2 spaces indentation?

Python decided to write unrelated unfunny memes on their official downloads page.

Python = 🤡 clowns, confirmed

My conversation with Avalara support (API for taxing):
Me: Hey I'm implementing your API for a client. The requests are going through, I get a valid response back but all goods are taxed with $0. Can you please give me a hint what I might be missing?
Sup: You're using Salesforce Commerce Cloud, requests might be blocked through their firewall
Me: I don't think so, here are some sample requests and responses I just created. The object returned matches the one in your API Doc.
Sup: This isn't a system controlled by us, no support.
Me: So how in the world can it be you don't control your own endpoint?

Seriously, if you don't want to help, next time just say fuck you...

How I feel about loud and endless keyboard typing.

Hint: it's an exaggerated joke

Bugs everywhere
Bugs everywhere
Bugs everywhere

Bugs everywhere
Bugs everywhere
Bugs everywhere

Bugs everywhere
Bugs everywhere
Bugs everywhere

I typed all 9 lines without copying them to put an emphasis on HOW MANY DAMN BUGS THERE ARE in every damn program

when you just had to drink that Kate coffee to get that last bit done and commited but as a result is completely unable to sleep.. ends up in a train of thoughs with a hint of philosophy... weep woop before you know it, your night sent Warp speed to bright outside..

finally i feel tired.. fml.

Just a helpful hint: if you ever run Firefox from the terminal for any reason, use "firefox &>/dev/null &". It runs on the same thread and spits out tons of random logs.

Edit: also, hello world! Almost forgot. :)

Why does Alarmy app on Android occupy 360 MB of storage space? 🤔

What is this I don't even know. Why does it exist? Why?
.d-flex
.d-inline-flex
.d-sm-flex
.d-sm-inline-flex
.d-md-flex
.d-md-inline-flex
.d-lg-flex
.d-lg-inline-flex
.d-xl-flex
.d-xl-inline-flex

For a long time I could not understand how do people put up with watching ads in Android apps. Then it dawned upon me: they grew up like this and they never had a proper classic old-school desktop experience. Back in the day it was unimaginable to have intrusive ads. I will never put up with intrusive ads. I despise it

Now even developer tools have ads, like Docker or NPM

All software developers are clowns. Prove me wrong (you cannot)

🤡

Project for a client, release date: tomorrow.
We handed over the project two weeks ago, for their QA to test everything.
Guess when they complained about having no access.
Hint: it's today

when you finally find a community post which seems to have at least a hint to a solution for your problem and then you get this ... WHYYYYYYYY WHYYYY is this happening to me???

Today I will talk about Android OS being stupid.

Android lets u as a user move installed apps to external storage = microSD card.

However what is stupid about it is that only a small part of the app will be moved. For example, if you have an app taking 400 MB of storage, then "moving" it will move only about 100 MB of data to microSD card, while the remaining 300 MB of data will remain on the internal storage...

In Android 11 this is still not improved. Imagine having 11 versions of OS over 11 years and never making a crucial feature work properly. Meanwhile app sizes grow ever larger

Disappointing.

🐞 I get buggy behavior in Microsoft Edge browser.

The mouse text selection pointer is white.. on white background, so it is invisible.

What the hell, Edge??

You know what's worse than reading someone else's code? Reading someone else's code with comments that make absolutely no sense!

It's like deciphering hieroglyphics. If you're going to comment, at least give me a hint, not a riddle.

It's not a treasure hunt; it's coding!

Not gonna lie; having both != == and !== and === in JavaScript is one of the most stupid bad design moments; in my opinion.

I am not even going to bother trying to come up with a better syntax for that. I will never get over how bad it is. So bad. === is 🤡

I like programming but too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing 🤔 I dunno

Me programming year 1️⃣: I want to learn as much as I can
Me programming year 2️⃣: I want to solve this complicated problem and surpass the expectations
Me programming year 3️⃣: I want to solve this complicated problem and get paid
Me programming year 4️⃣: I want to solve this complicated problem even if it is difficult & stressful
....
Me programming year 8️⃣: I aint want nothing no more..

Thanks for wasting my time
Thanks for wasting my time
Thank you for wasting my time
Thank you fopr rwasting my time
Thanks you a lot for watingh WASTING my time
THANK YOU FOR WAXTING MY TIME
Thank you so much for wasting my time!!
Thanks you thank you thank you
wasting my time
I am so done with everything

Just 5 days? What. Some technical problems take years to solve and you auto-close threads after just 5 days? Why you do this MongoDB 🗑️

I hate frameworks and I hate people (and companies) who disable comments because they hope to hide from questions and also hide themselves from the hate

Now I have nothing left to do but post hate on DevRant. There you have it. I hope your framework burns in hell; all versions of it.

Antisocial in 2022: 🤡 We live in a society
Antisocial in 1622: 👑 We live in a kingdom

I have two questions to WhatsApp

1️⃣ Why does WhatsApp store a copy of ALL images ever sent? LOCALLY? I thought it is a cloud service. Why would I want to keep gigabytes of data on a device with limited internal storage?

2️⃣ Why no proper multi-device capability on Mobile? Why no voice call on Desktop?

Bruh WhatsApp is so limited and awkward it is a shame it somehow got so popular

Did a project in my first year of "vocational education"
(in the Netherlands there's different levels of studies)
For some big Corp.

They were amazed by what I had made (really just a simple website) and offered me an internship on the spot. Then they asked when I was finishing my bachelor's (hint: vocational education is one level below) and when I told them I was a first year student of that vocational education they basically told me they aren't allowed to hire anyone that doesn't have or isn't pursuing a bachelor or master degree...

That felt really bad, getting an actual offer based on my skills but be rejected for my level of education.

But it has made me want to prove them I can do it, and so, I am now in my first year of computer engineering.

Apparently, mouse polling rate is limited to 130 Hz for Bluetooth mouse.

BUT WHY 🖱️📶🐁

guess who is working on a 10+ GB hg repository using sourcetree on a macbook air

hint: I DO

pull, update lasts so long, there are new changesets to pull (hours, i kid you not)

Joined a new project. The codebase is… Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, is there ANY decent project in vue which has an hint of readibility in this damn world?

Every single time anyone talks about vue I roll my eyes “no I swear we managed it well!” 600 lines of code components. Is there even a good way to structure it for big apps?

Steam winter sale cometh ❄️🖥️🎮
Me who wantst to gameth but hath no energy: 😔🤡

FACTS:
1. Windows Mobile 6.5 was a more open platform than today's Android

Me at 9:00 AM: wide awake 🔥
Me at 10:00 AM: after spending 1 hour on trying to find out why storage space is low on some of our production servers: ready to fall asleep any second 😴

how quickly can you download anything?
hint: speed not defined

Worst experience of 2020 for me was:
👎 that I had 0 time to code my side-projects.
Best experience of 2020:
🙃 can't think of anything good haha

My list of programming languages that started out promising but turned out to be bad:

* Scala
* Kotlin
* Rust
* Haxe
* Swift

Today I saw how the frontend devs on my team write Vue components + TypeScript. It's bad and it further proves that Vue=bad. Not even TypeScript can save it from being bad. Function defineComponent is ugly

I like React.js ⚛️

(no rant today)

My hate for Vue 3 is growing exponentially today. 👏

What I "discovered" recently is, that Android will sometimes update certain apps even if you have auto-update disabled in Play Store.

Yes, just like that. I am not sure what exactly triggers the update, but it is certainly possible.

Just now I have seen that my Netflix app got auto-updated. Which is not a big deal in itself. But taking control out of the user's hands IS a big deal.This needs to stop. ❎

What if girls 🤔

Installed Ubunut 20 on my laptop (Thinkpad). It cannot open the App Store (with A letter on it). Imagine building a system, marking it as stable (long-term-support) and shipping it in such state that it is unable to launch the default (pre-installed!) app-store. This is Linux for you.

Updated the system; still cannot start the freaking appstore.

Do any of you people use SublimeText? Or is it dead 🤔💭

100 🌡️

While debugging a service on a linux server...
Log-level info: no really useful information and no hint about the bug
Log-level debug: OMFG TAKE THAT 2GB LOG FILE
Why all the time 😧

I hate it when I want to implement a 3rd party API and their docs have no hint at how to create a test account.. Why do they make me call their sales team / bother their support for that?

The next major war seems more likely to be started by a bug in someone's code than an action taken by a world leader.

Developers probably use yellow as the default color of emojis since it's the best balance between all the possible pigmentation of the human skin.

Here is a weird fact I have been thinking about this evening:

Helio X20 was the only mainstream ARM processor that had 10 CPU cores. It was first introduced in 2015, however no more ARM processors with high core count were used since then..

Nowadays smartphone processors have `8` cores max 🤔🧐

I guess 8 cores the reasonable limit for smartphones. Must have something to do with cost-to-performance factor

The human engineers are now about 1 or 2 steps away from creating strong AI. We now have decent drawing AI, decent voice actor AI and a confident bullshit AI. All components are already there. Actual human reasoning is in essence confident bullshitter getting cross-checked a few times. Throw a few confident bullshitter AIs together, make them check each other's outputs, and you have basically human reasoning.

It is terrifying because of the coming implications for our society 🤡 At the same time, I am proud of the engineers who worked hard on the technical advancements for the AI and made amazing progress. I know how it feels to work tirelessly on a complicated technical task 💻🌙

I love the React and Sails docs. The contents are human-readable. Perfect for idiots like me since most docs are $h!+5%&* (hint: Git).

Note to self: keep not trusting online tutorials and ALWAYS, A.L.W.A.Y.S take them with a grain of salt.

Now why do you fine lads think `nmcli networking off && nmcli networking on` over ssh is a bad idea? And how to quickly make it suitable for over-ssh-execution? Let's see who knows shell! [HINT: see tags for an almost-answer]

... when people not sure what shell characters mean are writing tutorials... FUCK!

For fucks sake we enforce monolithic design these days (even putting 5 different languages in one component-file) but not a single fucking tutorial, idea, design hint or article about how to put the fucken backend in that project, too.
The data structures used by front- and backend will be the same, do I really need to setup another oversized webpack buildchain, containing 90% the same sources to have my backend development in a different repo?

what the fuck.

I want to develop a django quiz app which will show questions to all online users at same time and allot a short time slot(1min) for answering questions.

How can i do that?
Any kind of help/link/hint is appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

Im tasked to investigate a stored proc that is slow at certain times ( 20-30mins ) and fast at other times ( 10-15 secs ).

After following suggestions i found out that adding NOLOCK hint on all the select queries makes the execution time fast ( 10-20 secs) .

Although i know that adding NOLOCK means a dirty read of possible incorrect data, does it justify the performance boost?

Speed or data correctness?

The last 5 days I have been searching for an issue! Non stop communicating with all involved partys!

Now I found the solution. I tell them all happy about my findings. And what do I get to hear?
"Yeah, I was thinking the whole time that that was the issue."

Are you fucking kidding me? Why the hell didn't you tell me??? At least a hint would have been appreciated...

For all those who lurk here and enjoy other people's misfortune - you might enjoy the subreddit justnomil
It's about horrible mother inlaws (and sometimes just mothers) and is great fun to read and get riled up about

People do not know the value of simplicity... They want a system that does EVERYTHING ANYBODY EVER wanted, forgetting that this approach will always cause problems in future

NPM = BAD

Convince me otherwise

dumb mistake on my part. so when accessing an AWS S3 store via the Java SDK, make sure you don't use the virtual-hosted URL to connect and to list objects in a bucket. you will pull your hair out when you see puts and gets work but list bucket doesn't. a major hint is if your put/get/delete calls don't accept the bucket name but instead accept the top level prefix, then you're doing it wrong :/

Some hint on how to take an php 3 old code and transform it to php 7.3 without rewrite all the class ...

Like an auto converters or i dont know ?

People who use destructuring assignment EVERYWHERE; why you do this to me?

In most cases it does not even reduce code length. Like

{ field } = object
save(field)

Why no just type

save(object.field)

Tis' hard to understand

I just changed my username from 'aashimaY' to 'sarena'. Can anyone guess what the new one means. Hint: It's a combination of two words, with the second half being a famous thing (I guess).

PS: You may not get the first half and that's fine. But I would love to see if anyone can guess the second one.

Human is just computer with meats. There are several subsystems:
0️⃣ low-level hormonal,
1️⃣ mid-level primal instinct and
🅰️ high-level natural language processor

Installation instruction for a program written in Python:

> pip install MyProgram

Ok but I do not have pip, so I install it... Oops, needs Python 3 but linux has Python 2 installed by default. I try to start the program; it crashes.,...

People using Python, are you serious??????????? 👏👏😳 So it is possible to install a program written in Python only if I f*ck around with Python versions? I have both 2 and 3 installed but how the hell do I know what version is used when I run pip? I set global alias python=python3 but it did not help. RIP.

Put the meeting agenda in the meeting invite: after a few meetings of you referring to those notes in a condescending manner, people will get the hint that you want them to familiarize themselves with the agenda before the meeting. It also gives you a nice reference point if you ever get off topic.

After an idea has rolled into the production stage I become bored with it. I no longer want to maintain or even review git issues.

However when even the hint of a new project rolls in I start "pre-developing" in anticipation and excitement of a new project. Development and base design of a project is what keeps me going.

#firstworlddeveloperproblems

Honestly, I love using the GUI and the terminal in combination when it comes to Git. I feel like I'm faster doing just general commits (hint ctrl+enter commits your work).

But I use the terminal when I start getting into the weeds, like checking out, resetting and doing stuff with my branches.

One easy way to watch YouTube without ads on a smartphone is Firefox + Ad.blocker

HoWeVeR... Page loading time on YouTube went up to 1 minute for me lately, all out of a sudden. Nothing changed on my device. I have auto-updates disabled

A coincidence? 🤔 Or Google looking to make life hard for me. YouTube was already caught making loading slow on FireFox deliberately, so they deserve 0️⃣ trust

Python 3.9:
Cool New Features for You to Try
String Prefix and Suffix.
Type Hint Lists and Dictionaries Directly.
Topological Sort.
Greatest Common Divisor (GCD) and Least Common Multiple (LCM)
New HTTP Status Codes.
Removal of Deprecated Compatibility Code.

Rust is JavaScript, confirmed.

A shitty platform that, although open source, there is no clearly documented way of setting a development environment for it. This pile of crap states clearly that it does NOT support RTL languages. One of the core business requirements is Arabic support. What to do? Look for other platforms? WRONG!

Base the fucking business on it and ask ME to see why the SQL database is not encoding the Arabic characters correctly and to look into the logs that back-end puked. My expertise is mobile development anyways damnit. Sure the backend code is Java code (Java jokers and haters, not the appropriate place) and I know it but there is no fucking way to test that motherfucker or to build it! No fucking testing server can be made! Only instructions to get a Docker image pulled and set up.

FML.

"This company is a fucking م."

I cannot believe I am so frustrated that I am ending this rant with a fun puzzle.

Hints to help you decipher the quoted sentence:

Hint 1: That Arabic letter is the perfect letter.
Hint 2: You don't need to be an Arab to understand what it means.

Why does everything always need to turn into a struggle. Literally anything. everything.

Hello programmers , small game for all of u...You just have to comment the meaning of this binary.

00111100 00110011 00100000 01010000 01110010 01101111 01100111 01110010 01100001 01101101 01101101 01101100 01101110 01100111

hint-you all this that's why you all are here.

Why redis, why?! You run "redis-cli -h <host>" and it looks like either it cannot connect to <host> or the redis-cli is frozen.

What was the fix? Adding "--tls" to the call. Why can't you just say "You are starting a non-tls connection to a remote but the remote wants to talk TLS"? Or give any other indication that you did reach the server but did not understand what it said and hint for TLS? I was hunting non-existent connectivity issues for hours just because there wasn't a good error message...

How the fu k do I remove this shit?! I can't find the fucking package name. Big hint: IT'S NOT FIRE!!!

Some of my fellow comp sci majors, while very nice and friendly, are completely socially oblivious. It's cringey but I try to bite the bullet and interact with them normally, even when uncomfortable to do so, but man do I wish they could catch a hint.

Using 60 Hz screen and a 200 Hz mouse is so laggy 😔

Exp. when programming deeply inspired you?

I remember being inspired in school as I learned to program floating colorful circles in a lesson. They "bounced" off the screen borders

🟠⭕🟣🔵🟢