"I was wondering why Monitors sleep and Keyboards don't.

Then it occurred to me that Keyboards have two SHIFTS. 😆😆" -some guy

Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

Anyone else used Stack Overflow for many years without ever asking or answering a single question?

This my fellow friends is what every christmas_tree should look like

Watching normal people use a computer is incredibly painful.
* slow typing
* slow mouse movements
* mouse is used for everything
* instead of hitting the back button, they'll load up a website and go through 6 pages again.
* no shortcuts!

Someone lost their tabs today (Windows crashed), so I said "press ctrl + shift + T". They were so amazed that keys could do something so advanced.
Dhcosncowhtoehwurt hrnxkxxhry he.

Honestly, if people learned how to use keyboards to their full potential, they could shave off 1-2 hours of their normal work PER DAY!

Why don't keyboards sleep? Because they have two shifts HUEHUEHUE

I found it!

>>Be me
>>Looks at laptop once
>>Gets 4 emails about the same fucking one

>>Be me
>>Looks at shoes once
>>Gets 3 emails and one notification from the app about a sale on shoes

>>Be me
>>Buy a mechanical keyboard
>>Gets 4 emails and 3 notifications from the app about a sale on keyboards.

Ok Amazon calm the fuck down bud.

This is why I currently have 14 calculators open...

CEO "If you make costs to build a home office for covid, please be aware that you can fully declare your bills, and you'll retain ownership over the ordered goods. Please all buy some good desk chairs and keyboards, so you can work ergonomically"

6 months later, CFO: "Bittersweet, why did you try to declare €35000? What are these invoices even? Concrete rebar?"

Me: "CEO told us to build a home office. I got permits from the town to dig a souterrain layer under my house. This is just for the foundation, the bills for drainage pumps, sheetpiling, geothermal heat exchangers, insulation, flooring, electricity and of course desk & chair will follow later"

CFO: 😳

(To be fair, I really did make those costs, but was just trolling by uploading all the material bills)

Just a regular software engineer...

Seen in Amsterdam, getting on a ferry.

Ever wondered why C++ programmers need to replace their keyboards so often?

Because they are using a strongly typed language

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Will I be the only one who misses this key on the keyboards of some modern laptops?

This post is in memory of all the devRanters fallen in battle against management stress and impossible deadlines.

Let their memories remain, and their loss never be forgotten.

Two of my colleagues have same wireless kit type (kb and mouse). I swapped only their keyboards.

I like my inputs. Buttons are fun! Guess that's why I ended up here.

When you accidentally buy 20 keyboards instead of 1...

My main working laptop has delete button at the top right corner of keyboard just like the normal rest of keyboards on this planet. But some people think it is boring to be doing thing in consistent manner. And so they made this.

Result is 4 times involuntarily went into sleep mode. Gazillion times I swear I can tear the dick out of that genius who came up with this idea and swirl his brain around using said dick. If it was a girl, I'm gonna shove a durain up her vajayjay.

Oh BTW, both laptops brand is ASUS.

My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!

She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.

Best sister in law!

Am I the only one who prefers laptop with numpad?
I feel like keyboards without a numpad are incomplete.

The real reason that i started using split keyboards

To all Juniors here(myself included):

If you ever feel discouraged just remember that a few thousand irrelavant mongolian horse nomads managed to conquer half of the known world in less than a hundred years, destroying countless empires and cultures far more sophisticated than their own using nothing but their wits and their brutal willpower.

If they could build a realm from Korea to Poland usibg horses, you can build some software using keyboards.

Paypal Rant #3

One day I'll go to Paypal HQ and...
... change all the toilet rolls to face the wrong way
... remap all the semicolons to be the Greek equivalent character
... change all the door signs so they say "pull" instead of "push" and vice versa
... modify all the stairs to have variable heights
... programmatically shuffle the elevator buttons and randomly assign the alarm key to any of the most visited floors
... pour cocoa onto all the keyboards and wipe them off cleanly
... attach clear duct tape over their mouse sensors and insert really weak batteries or mess with their cables

I'll wait a day or two until they experience a sudden shortage of developers, then bombard them with thousands of fake applications from seemingly amazing candidates, then write an AI bot to continue argumentation with HR.

I'll wait another week or so until the company dissolves and with them, all my issues in life.

No need to be overly vulgar this time because you all know the deal. I hate this fucking company. Please Paypal do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.

Pics of your keyboard buddies

Whoever thinks that coding is easy.

Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.

One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.

Stupid people.

You cannot find \ in Japanese MacBook keyboard. You have to press alt + ¥ 💢

But if are in the hiragana keyboard mode alt + ¥ key is / 💢💢

My landlord has a workspace below my room, and he had to install wifi for his workspace yesterday. except he couldn't, so he asked me. which I guess is fine, he made very polite request so I figured: might as well.

so I go down, and it's one of these typical isp boxes. I connect my laptop and start messing around with ifconfig and ip route listing. I wouldn't normally even use ip route, but I've been doing a project involving multiple networks. Anyway, I switch networks a few times (my own network is obviously up and running) so I can google for router passwords. by the time I'm finished with everything my landlord thanks me, and goes on about "how he is always impressed by how people can just type into keyboards and things start working"

in reality, all I did was connect his cable to DSL when he had connected it to PSTDN himself.

Mechanical keyboards' heavenly sounds.

Moved to a new place about two months ago.

The internet connection is provided and baked into my rent. Didn't mention anything about speed.

First thing I did was to check with my phone over 2.4 GHz hit about 100/100 and thought.

Sweet! I have the nice 100/100 Mbits speed!

Yesterday I had some issues with my 2.4 GHz band on my phone. (I have a lot of wireless devices, mice, keyboards, headphones, so it makes sense) Couldn't even do a speed check. Was like. What the fuck. Switched to 5Ghz band because it's not as busy with other devices.

Do a speed check.

500/500.

I realize. Wait. I am checking from my phone.

What does my cable connected computer really get?

900/700

Holy shit. I've been connected to gigabit internet for almost two months without knowing.

What the shit. What God have blessed me with such sick speeds?

Mechanical Keyboards.
I mean, just look at this beauty.

My humble setup.
Sitting/Standing desk duet.

A common scenario strikes again today:

- Blocked on a problem at the end of the day
- Tell my wife I'm headed home
- Inspiration strikes
- time flies by coding in the zone
- realize I'm super late
- run out the door like a crazy person

Asked a coworker for their opinion on mechanical keyboards, they suggested I get a quiet one if I was going to bring it to work.

So 10 months ago i moved from Cambridge (UK) to Guildford (UK), due to moving this distance i started working from home and going into the office once a week.

Now after 10 months i have finally got my home office how i first imagined it. Everything runs from my laptop which is located on the shelving unit away from my desk. Everything plugs into it via 1 USB lead.

Setup:
27" 2560 x 1440 monitor flanked by two 1280 x 1024 monitors.
Asus Laptop (i5-6300HQ, 12GB ram, 512GB SSD + 1TB HDD)
Home PC (i5-7600, 8GB ram, GTX 770)

Accessories:
StarTech USB hub - This allows me to plug my three monitors, keyboards, mouse and everything else into my laptop.
KVM switch - Allows me to swap between my Work PC and Home PC with a click of a button

Gf: "Why are you such a typist"

Me: "I promise not to buy more keyboards with blue switches..."

Gf: "No, I mean like being racist or sexist, but you discriminate types"

Me: "Uhhh"

Gf: "You are always bitching about how awful date/time types are, with timezones, leap seconds and daylight savings"

Me: Face turns pale, thousand yard stare, vietnam-flashback to when I was writing a calendar scheduling/meeting/matching tool which used 3 databases, with timestamps in different formats, and web frontends for people in offices around the world.

Me, with a soft broken voice: "So?"

Gf: "You've been working on that palette tool this week, and you keep talking about how interesting all these colorspaces, white balances and conversion formulas are"

Me: 🤔

tldr:
everyone got the same hardware because senior dev liked it

So my project team was allowed to buy some hardware (monitors/keyboards/mouses etc.) so teamleader asked what we want.
senior dev: i need 1 monitor because i like to work with 1 monitor. i prefer this 27' zoll 4k monitor for around 1k dollars. since i work with multiple pc's i like this bluetooth keyboard and mouse because u can pair them with them and switch witch a click between the pc's costs around 300 dollar (1 setup of this costs 1'300 dollars)

me: so i like to use 2 monitors because i tried out multiple setups and this works for me the best (also what i have at home). but they dont need to be fancy. 2x 24' zoll montitors for each 200 dollar are enaugh (together 400 doller)
i also only work with 1 laptop and would like to have just a simple keyboard and mouse with cable because everytime they dont respons or battry runs out im fk triggered. so for me its okey if its this 30 dollar keyboard and 20 dollar mouse. it would be cool if i could get this mechanical keyboard for 80 dollars but not really needed. i only prefer mechanical keyboards a little bit more. and also i would like this mousepad i really like. it makes the mouse super responsive it's also just 10 dollars (this setup cost 510)

so at the end the teamleader was like. ah u know what senior dev has more xp and knows whats better for coding so we only buy this for every dev. but that 10 dollar mouse pad is okey u can get this extra its not that expensive.

WTF why u dont give me the cheaper setup which i more like. and why u even ask.

- Learn to touch type Dvorak
- Set all Qwerty keyboards to Dvorak
- Watch as no one can use your computer.

Epic team fail. I bought a mechanical keyboard, plugged it in typed one word and the team wanted to kill me.

I don't know much about keyboards, but turns out it had blue, very loud, very clicks switches.

Keyboard was unplugged, wrapped up and put back in the box ready to be returned.

Night before flying internationally includes the following checklist:

- check VPN works, can access frontend sites and hit the backend
- git push

This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.

My wife finally said "no more sleeping".

Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".

I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.

Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox).

Why don't keyboards sleep?

Because they have 2 shifts.

Our "monitoring" today.

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

When you are so angry about something you slam your fist on the keyboard, break the Enter and surrounding keys, rush to the closest shop that sells keyboards, fail to buy one because they're all too shit, come home and end up fixing your keyboard, then get even more pissed off because you had already gotten excited about that new keyboard, and end up writing shitty comments for shit you haven't even finished yet because you're too pissed off BECAHSE EVERY FUCKING THING IN THIS WORLD IS FUCKING BROKEN AND SHIT. AND NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE AND MY LEG IS ITCHY FOR SOME STUPID FUCKING REASON!

PM: What are you going to do today?

Expected-
Me: execute some junits.

Actual-
Me: execute some joints.

Sad auto corrects, flow keyboards.

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Five US quarters are about 1oz in weight and should hold down most keys on most keyboards.

I knew this because we had an error on a server with a pop up window that was only "ok". We couldn't kill the process because critical so we left a stack of change on enter until it it was done running and we could leave for the night.

Let me tell you a story.

Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.

With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.

So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!

It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.

To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.

As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!

I've never had a problem with helping junior devs but when their keyboard and mouse looks like they bought it used from a primary school - glossy and covered in food etc... All I can think is burn it..... Burn it with fire.
Seriously... Keep your peripherals clean... They get nasty pretty quickly.

Yesterday my employer banned the use of all wireless keyboards and mice due to security concerns. This applies to all employees, including our many remote employees (I wonder how they plan to enforce that). I’m trading in my nice quiet wireless keyboard for some Cherry MX blues to protest. I really liked my current keyboard and mouse too. RIP

I purchased the worst keyboard ever for coding

Please help , suggest me some good keyboards( mechanical) for typing/coding

Also as a coder will you pefer the cherry mx red for coding?
Share your experiences

Who is the guy who designed the AZERTY keyboards ? 😠

Seriously... Alt Gr + 5 = [

And the most horrible thing is the "(" char... WHY THE FUCK DID HE PUTS IT IN THE "5" KEY WHEN KEYBOARD IS IN LOWERCASE ? YES, IN LOWERCASE, NOT ONLY WHEN SHIFT IS HOLD.

There are more than 100 keys in a keyboard, so why here? WHY?

Half of time I check if CapsLock is off just to be sure if I can open a bracket just because someone thought it was a good idea to put it here. It annoys me.

I'm such an idiot.

Spilled water on my MacBook today. Not that much water, but the cup landed right in the middle of my keyboard.

Worst part is I was gaming with my sister and didn't want to stop. So I wiped it off and shook it out a bit and kept playing. A bit later the screen started flickering and eventually went black.

Finally my brain turned on and I switched it off, shook out some more water, and set it up to dry. Just hoping it's not too late.

At least the drying setup recommended by the internet is pretty hilarious looking.

Now we play the waiting game. They say 72 hours before turning it on again. Seems a bit extreme. Will there still be moisture evaporating 3 days later? Not sure I can wait that long to see if it's toast.

Such an idiot.

*spends a long time crafting a huge eBay post (we're moving)
* tries to drag and drop first picture
* page navigates to the picture without warning
* loses everything

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

WHEN DRAGGING A PICTURE INTO A WEB PAGE I NEVER WANT TO NAVIGATE TO A PAGE WITH JUST THAT IMAGE. WHY NO WARNING BEFORE LEAVING THE PAGE. WHY DON'T YOU SAVE TEXT LOCALLY. WHY DOES THE WEB SUCK SO HARD. AAAGGGHHHH.

* feels better
* starts over

Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!

Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!

Stop the lies!!!

Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards? Because they use a strongly typed language.

2 days into a new java project and I already miss scala so much.

I only use super old mechanical keyboards at home... anyone else? 😄

I now value mechanical keyboards.

I miss laptop keyboards like this...
Look at delete and esc buttons!
😍

P.S.: No commercials here..you can't find this anymore! Even that company stopped from produce laptop like this..!

What's the best keyboard (type/model) for a programmer in your opinion, based on your experience?

I always used the keyboards included with the PC, never thought much about that, but now I would like to invest in something better.
I found a lot of articles on internet, but each one says different things, so I'm sure the devRant community is more reliable.

Thanks in advance!

Below the one I'm using write now.

A minute of silence for developer who don't have English keyboard and can't easily type ` or ~

My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.

It's always the same story.

"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".

...

Another hour goes by.

If only I could keep to my own convictions.

Worst black friday specials ever.
I'm really not a fan of the "holiday" anyway, but I found basically nothing I wanted. 🙄

Also: I'm trying to find a nice RGB keyboard with green cherries. Any suggestions on where to look? I've found one site that makes custom keyboards (wasd), but theirs aren't RGB. ☹ I want purple/pink backlighting damnit!

!quiteRant

Since I'm working for 3 years as a parttime software engineer, I started to feel my tendon sheath more and more, sometimes it was hurting so I decided to have a look around on ergonomic keyboards, because in the office we only have these flat, thin wireless keyboards which are the fucking opposite of ergonomic.
They feel like when Eddie Scissorhands has to cut hair of a pile of rocks.
So after some reviews I decided to buy a Kinesis Advantage2 (made in the USA of Americas) eventhough it is quite expensive (379 Kanuckistan Kopeks).

I must say this keyboard is fucking well engineered. You can remap every key in a few keypresses and it is stored on the keyboard itself, no software required... awesome!
The disadvantage for me is, being pretty tall I have very wide shoulders so the 2 keyboard pits are a bit too close together in my oppinion.
The other thing is, you really have to get used to it... I am slowly advancing in speed and it feels great. No pain anymore and I don't have to move my hands at all.

So what are your experiences with keyboards and does your workplace have a good setup for staying healthy?

I spent more than an hour trying trying to debug why two functions were always returning undefined. I even put in conditional breakpoints and executed the statements to confirm the logic was correct.

I forgot return.

Stougles of a developer whose native language is not English.

1 ANSI keyboard for dev
1 local ISO qertz keyboard for everything else with weird characters

Pink is not always a good idea

For example, pink themed IDE, pink keyboards, pink lights...

:/

During a health and safety course today I was asked to talk about the workspace ergonomics. Part of that course is to make sure everyone knows how to customise their seat, screen, keyboard, etc., so I told everyone to unfold those little feet on the bottom of their keyboards and everyone did... Everyone but a cheeky little customer service girl who was more interested in taking selfies of her skirt coincidentally matching the carpet. I cleared my throat and said again:

- "Please, unfold your keyboard's feet."

Nothing. Coughed. Nothing. Finally, quite annoyed, I repeated myself for the 3rd time:

- "Unfold the feet, please!"

She jumped. Eyes wide. Noticed everyone staring. And very very slowly, with a look of complete puzzlement, she spread her legs.

Python rant

Where the hell is Break key?!

Story: I wrote multithreaded python script and went to Lab to test it. Script got stuck (one thread died) and I needed to stop that thing, but how without magic Ctrl+Break?

Damn you Dell with your slim and minimalistic keyboards!

Thanks to DevRant, you have saved hundreds of monitors from getting smashed, keyboards from getting torn into pieces and mouses being flung across the rooms! There is a platform for rants now!

Our university labs still use computers with 512mb ram, celeron processor for programming and networking courses. Even worse some of the mouse/keyboards/monitors not working and we occasionally have to do exam on those machines ...

Mechanical keyboard rocks.
Increased my wpm by 10 in 2 days.

As a computational biologist from Europe working in the US, I often have to switch between qwerty and qwertz keyboards. I can't highlight enough how hard it is to type the word "homozygosity". 🥺

what do you think of my setup?

/* picture of desk with 200 monitors, 7 keyboards, a flying mouse, a rasbperry pi with a human head, and a desk lamp */

Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.

In short, coding changed everything for me.

PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer.

and what happens when you're both a dev and a gamer 😓

People with dirty, greasy keyboards and mice. They obviously never wash their hands and all that disgusting gunk builds up around where they touch.

The feeling when you use someone else's mouse, and you can feel the lumpy texture of the sticky grey filth on it.

Clean your desk equipment occasionally, people. Also, wash your hands properly after using the bathroom, and it won't even be much of a problem.

I hate it when certain keyboards have fn or the alt key at the edge of the keyboard instead of ctrl because it makes copying and pasting like a million times harder.

Macbook Pro - No ESC key?

Its not like its used much in vi or emacs anyway is it?

No esc key on a unix box? Seriously?

I know its got a 'soft' escape key - hows it going to know to switch to that if i run vi or emacs -nw in an ssh session?

Mac keyboards go from bad to worse - used to be a nightmare to find a | symbol.

Living the mech life

While we're on the subject of keyboards, here's my baby! A V60 with Maria's switches!

Sitting in Office on a Saturday learning how to Code :) There is nothing like a quiet peaceful office with no other keyboards clickety clacking than your own.

Raise your exception if you love mechanical keyboards.

After being live multiple years supporting only Safari, Firefox, and Chrome, one customer wanted IE support. After taking a close look at the usage numbers, and discussing with us front-end devs, our product guy shot it down. Pop the champagne!

When your company buys a third party solution and you spend all your time emailing them about bugs in their system.

Seriously, I even sent you the exact line of the bug in your JavaScript with a suggested solution, and deployed a new stack with your latest (broken) fix so you can test out that solution. Then you email back saying it is fixed but it is clearly still broken. If I email you a fixed version of your file will you deploy it? OMG!

Not at the hate point yet, but Apple's hardware division has been missing the mark for about 5-6 years now.

The phones have been too big for my hands since the 5 came out, and the latest lineup doesn't even have a compromise in that size.

The keyboards that replaced the chiclet keyboards suck because they provide almost no tactile feedback whatsoever.

Ditching the magsafe adaptors to force you to dedicate one of your USB ports to powering your machine is stupid.

Still doing fine on the software front overall, however. Granted, they've been dismantling everything I ever liked about iTunes since version 8 came out, but I've given up on that at this point.

Yuck, there's no keyboards shortcut for that. Now I have to move my hand all the way to my mouse and back again. Double yuck

I hate the new MacBook Pro's keyboard sound. It's ridiculous.

If an orange costs $6 and a grape costs $4, how much does a pineapple cost?

I never thought I was a highly opinionated person (read: elitist) until I realized it bothered me that my coworker prefers low-profile rubber dome keyboards to mechanical ones. I'm going on a journey for personal growth this week.

Teaching a relatives boyfriend VBA so he can edit macros in excel, he has an interview next week as a junior data analyst and this a requirement. This is his laptop keyboard. Pay close attention to the placement of ctrl, shift etc. and the lack of a backspace.

Slow time so I can code more AND sleep more!

Computers and their peripherals are constantly advancing, but keyboards... keyboards never change, We pretty much just stole the idea from typewriters and moved on.

*Me studying at the library*

*dead silence*

*A guy sits across the table with his laptop*

*starts typing*
KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLACK KLICKITY KLACK

Inner Me: :-| *wth*
You couldn't type any more louder tha..

KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLACK KLACK KLICKITY KLACK KLACK KLACK...

Maybe the big "Silence Please" sign doesn't count keyboard noises

His laptop had one of those soft touch keyboards, that no one would hear anything if you type on them.
I guess he was trying to be a pretentious hax0r or something lol

He left soon enough, so, that was fortunate.. 😅

Not exactly a co-worker, but one of the devs from the client's team spent a few months working in our office next to us. He would always take a nap at lunch time and snore loudly, and eat an apple afterwards and it seemed to be impossible for him to chew with his mouth closed.

Whenever he had a cold and his nose got blocked he would still force himself to breathe through his nose, so it sounded something like a mix of darth vader and someone drowning.

He also lacked any notion of personal space, and would always sneak behind us to ask questions and then put his laptop right on top of our keyboards or in front of our screens and start talking while we still had headphones on.

What is the weirdest place you ever coded?

A typical bouba coder:
- thinks a kilobyte contains 1024 bytes
- thinks Object.assign clones an object
- codes in react.js, thinks he knows reactive programming
- “amd is better for games, intel is better for work”
- thinks that the main advantage of ssh is that you don’t need to enter your password manually
- watches porn in incognito mode
- “crapple”
- “uhm, is it immutable?”
- thinks “persistent” means saved to local storage
- thinks designer is an inferior job because “they only draw shapes”
- thinks good accessibility is when the tab key works
- “All non-mechanical keyboards are trash”
- “C is outdated and nobody uses it anymore”
- “Zuck quit uni and now he’s a billionaire, everybody should quit”
- thinks “pointer” is a shape of the cursor

An infinite number of Rubber Duckys typing randomly on an infinite number of keyboards will eventually create half life 3.

Also, a single Rubber Ducky typing randomly on a single keyboard, left alone and unobserved has both created half life 3 and not created half life 3 at the same time.

!dev-ish

I hate whenever people take hobbies and other things that aren't personality traits and try to make it a personality trait.

Your sexuality isn't a personality trait.
Your diet (looking at you *obnoxious* vegans) isn't a personality trait.
Coding isn't a personality trait.
Your race isn't a personality trait.

I'mma end this rant with a !rant tho.

I know they're obnoxious asf but oh my God mechanical keyboards are one of the most amazing sounds on this earth. Sometimes I'll type just to hear that beautiful sound.

First thing, I love my colleague. I know him for 15 years and I'm under 30. But I freaking hate when he picks his nose FOR ALL THE DAY LONG and uses shared mouses and keyboards, leaving them unable to use. I have to clean all that mess and no matter what we say he still do it. :(

Why can't we program from thought instead of keyboards... It's fucking 2016.

Maybe keep mechanical keywords though :)

This is something I'm proud of about myself as a developer, which is rare.

My setup with the Alt key.

All the keys in my left hand (as in, for all the keys in my left hand region, qwerasdfzxcv)
have their Alt and AltShift combinations mapped to (almost) all the special chars related to programming.
For example:
Alt + z -> /
AltShift + z -> \

Here's me typing them in 2 seconds.
{}()_-'"/:+=<>[]|#~`\;*!

And, on my right hand, I emulate the arrow keys movement:
Alt + hjkl moves chars
AltShift + hjkl moves and selects chars
AltCtrl + hjkl moves words
AltCtrlShift + hjkl moves and selects words
Alt + n. backspaces/deletes chars
AltCtrl + n. backspaces/deletes words

And the best of them all:
Alt + space -> <return>
AltShift + space -> Shift+<return> (which does a newline in chat editors like fb messenger)
AltCtrl + Space -> Ctrl+<return> (which can do the submit in some forms, like send email in gmail)

Now, my hand sits for real on the home row and rarely moves because it's not there just for vim, but for the entire system as well.
This setup is very compliant with my little mouse use, since I use vim, and the vim extension for chrome.
I still use and need the mouse for some tasks.

Another one huge benefit is that I don't have a problem remembering where the keys are. This is a problem I can have because I go between different keyboards because of having used different keyboards: argentinian, american, japanese and now brazilian (I'm not trying to be cool, it's just a series of circumstances that led me to using different keyboards).

At the same time, this thing might have become a hinderance because it's not as easy for me going to a different keyboard.

Regarding implementations, when I used MacOS I used Karabiner, insanely clean interface.
On linux, I have to create my own mapping in X.

The moment that everything works on localhost but you upload it to a FTP it is broken😫😥 I am so upsaid

As devs, our keyboards are arguably the most used tools in the creative process of software development. Shortcuts are essential for (most of) us.

What's your most used keyboard shortcut in your most used IDE? Please explain what it does in which IDE.

Mine is Cmd+Alt+L in IntelliJ (reformat code, but only VCS changed or selected lines). I press it all the time, almost maniacally, after changing anything.

Close second place candidates: Shift+F6 (rename anything, e.g. file, class, function, variable), double Shift (search everywhere), Cmd+Alt+F (find in path, also in code), Cmd+B (go to declaration).

The fucking defective Caps Lock on Apple keyboards drives me fucking ballistic!

WHY would they ever think it would be a good idea to introduce a minimum press time for a key?!?

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. I use the damn thing it inevitably fails and I have to backspace, delete the non-caps text I just entered after HITTING THE FUCKING CAPS LOCK KEY, tap the damn thing again (harder this time) and try again. It usually takes 2 or 3 tries before it actually catches. I'm sorry, but training myself to type slower is not as easy as you think!

Who the fuck thought up this nonsensical bullshit?? And who the fuck is going around accidentally tapping their caps lock key to the point where such a delay would be needed?? Do you not know where your own fingers are??

Seriously, all this does is penalize fast typists and people who actually want to USE the caps lock key for what it was meant for.

I swear to god this one little thing pisses me off SO much. And what's worse is they don't even give you an option to disable it, AND it's bloody fucking impossible to disable yourself even through the terminal.

(Also, typing this rant with so many caps was probably not as cathartic as I was going for!) 😂

There are people who quit coding cause of errors and stuck ups. But there are these special others, who work on Saturday, smash their keyboards on the desk and say FUCK IT.

When you try to clap in a presentation while holding coffee and spill it all over yourself.

I am actually the person who take google's act sceptically, and concern about my privacy. I talk alot about that with my colleagues and friends, and yet i just realized i used google keyboards all along

The IT guy my parents had often at their home.

This guy thought me how to manage our network, how to create mobile apps. How to debug problems and so on. He sparked so much interest for computers in me and now i can't stop fiddleing around with computers.

Also this "electrician" who worked for my parents.
Basically he fixxed old keyboards, loudspeakers and stuff like that. He thought me about resistors, transistors, blue prints and how to solder stuff.

"Lötzinn blödsinn"

They both started my journey into the rabbit hole of technology.

I FUCKING HATE VISUAL STUDIO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY THINKS I WANT TO UNDO SINCE I PRESSED THE MOTHER FUCKING BACKSPACE KEY
ITS NOT MY KEYBOARDS FAULT ITS LITERAALLY THEIR DUMBASSES NOT KNOWING HOW TO MAKE AN IDE ATA ALL
HOLY SHIT MICROSOFT LEARN HOW TO MAKE BETTER IDES OTHER THAN YOUR SHITTY IDE

"Can you check what my password is?"

When you make a mistake and try to fix it, but you can't remember how to spell amend...

git commit --ammend
error: unknown command `amend'

git commit -ammend
[branch-name] mend

Huh?

git log
commit #
mend

Created a new commit with message 'mend'. Now to clean this all up and go get some sleep!

What is your Favorite time to code ?

This weekly is getting really popular with so many rants coming in.
Shows the extent to which real coders/programmers/developers are tormented by the incompetent education system.
Here is my two cents:
Students should be taught to build their logic on paper before jumping on to their keyboards.

Installing OS onto server
3 hours
Configurations and Updates
4 hours
Won't boot up and keyboards not functioning till after grub...
Priceless

"A start job is running for Wait for Plymouth Boot Screen to Quit" can go fuck itself.

!rant

Super awesome day today.

1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.

I really love my life sometimes.

Only have virtual keyboards!

Can someone legitimately explain to me what're the perks of mechanical keyboards?

Do mechanical keyboards actually make a difference?
Is it worth the dosh?
What kind of keyboard do you use?

buttons that need to be added on keyboards:
- Ctrl-C
- Ctrl-V
- Ctrl-ALT-Del

I don't know if this is a problem only in Belgium or also in other countries but while I love Bluetooth for audio playback (headsets, speakers and everything) despite being extremely convoluted as a protocol.. FUCK Bluetooth keyboards.

Several of them I've tried. Several of them, from various brands. Pairing, setting the Belgian keyboard layout (which on that shitty Android 7.0 tablet that I want to use the fucking things with apparently has to be done *every fucking time you connect*, because reasons) all well. Except half the keys don't fucking map properly. A keymap, it doesn't get easier than that! How hard is it to make buttons map to the right keys!? They're literally fucking push buttons on a matrix! Seeing which points in the circuit make contact and sending that off to wherever it needs to go!

And to put the icing on the cake? USB keyboards with the same fucking layout settings work without any problems. So it's extremely likely that it's something in those shitty keyboards' controllers or Bluetooth going full rart on all of them.

Of course, Bluetooth being as convoluted as it is, manufacturers just copy each others' implementations of it if they can.. so there's that.

Can really nobody make a product halfway decent anymore before putting it on the market!?

Another one bites the dust.. JUNK!!! Every single goddamn one of them!

windows update bricked my touchpad.
rebooting bricked my keyboards.
reinstalling windows fixed my keyboards but not my touchpad.

this has been going for a week now.
i'm moving back to linux. maybe i'll try arch this time around.

fuck you microsoft.

ps: my touchpad seems to be permanently bricked.

Heathrow express having some trouble this morning.

When our colleague got twins we put two out of everything into his cubicle: two chairs, two keyboards, two mouses, two lamps, two plants, etc... and two "welcome back" signs too

!rant

Made my research about mechanical keyboard and was worried that my first one was going to be too loud at work.

I can hear the majority of hammering cave trolls smashing their membrane keyboards louder than I can hear my MX Brown.

This shit is like heaven for fingers.

:D

Years ago, one of my friends in college was taking an intro to CS class. He asked me for help on one of his assignments. It was a simple Python program, but it wasn't running as expected. I go in figuring it will be easy to fix. But everything looks exactly right. An hour later I'm tearing my hair out! It isn't even entering the function although it's clearly called. I'm beginning to feel very self conscious, as a CS major who can't even debug a 15 line program for a friend.

Then it hit me. This is Python. I used an editor macro to convert all indentation to tabs, lined them up, and it ran on the first try. Turns out, he had somehow ended up with a mixture of tabs and spaces.

I'm not sure what the takeaway is, but I think he got a surprisingly honest introduction to the life of a developer...

Me: *adds a shiny new graph to our foos web app showing player ratings*

Fred: Can I please have a button to see just my scores?

Me: *adds "JUST FRED" button*

Fred: perfect, thanks

PSA: negate your tests and make sure they fail!

I have what I thought was a weird and slightly paranoid habit. When I write tests sometimes just as a sanity check negate the assertion to make sure the test fails and isn't a false positive. Almost always fails as expected.

But not today! Turns out I had forgotten to wrap my equality check in an assertion so it would always pass. It freaks me out to imagine pushing a test that always passes not just because it doesn't do its job, but could also obscure a bug and trick me into thinking it works differently than it does. Broken tests are the worst!

But it pays to be paranoid.

I keep a 20 year old PS/2 keyboard around specifically for that rare event I need to edit my bios settings. My mobo doesn’t enable usb until half a second after it stops listening for input because who uses usb keyboards, anyway?

Date a programmer;
We break keyboards;
Not hearts;

Seriously? is this fucking true? I guess not 😔😂

Can you tell what keys were used the most?

Got to clean the keyboard now.

Long live the Clear Cherry MX Switched Mechanical Keyboards!

I have a new job in Spain. I'm from France.
France use AZERTY keyboards, Spain use QWERTY.
I feel like my brain is melting (+_+)

Friend got me in to mechanical keyboards... Now I want to buy every keycap. My wallet is not happy with this life choice.

Thinking of getting one of those keyboards that are split in two. (Yes, I will get both pieces. Harr harr.)

I can't beleive i could not find a single sane laptop without those shitty "chiclet" keyboards. It's already beyond trend.

somebody save me!!! Isn't there really one single non-chiclet laptop out there in the great cosmos?

Here’s a novel rant no one has ever seen before.

The iPhone keyboard is absolutely the worst input method ever created. Even primitive keyboards from the 80s are more usable.

I would use a madcatz controller to type instead of this garbage given the choice.

And you know what’s a good interface design? Making the music player controls on the lock screen disappear when Bluetooth connects

!rant

Coworker: I yelled at Sony for the PS3 having 7 USB ports... I said that devices only need 2 USB ports. But now, I have this laptop here that has two USB ports and I'm yelling at it! So who's the hypocrite?

Me: You?

Coworker: Sony. Though to be fair, this laptop was made back before we really needed a lot of USB ports. Keyboards and mice were PS/2.

Me: What about printers?

Coworker: They have printer cables....

Me: WHICH ARE USB!

Coworker: ....Oh yeah...

I think I just get one of these keyboards...

remote work is so much better for me.. i think something is wrong with me because little things my co-workers do like clearing their throats, them slamming their keyboards and sometimes the way they laugh or even the way they speak... pisses me off so bad. OMG!!! even putting on headphones does not help. I wish i could ignore all that.

Due to the constant change in accuracy of my keyboards' predictive algorithms, I now find myself switching between SwiftKey and GBoard... 😢😔

Anyone else feel the same?

I get home today and my wife says:

"Just finished some chores and really want to play stardew valley, but the computer has been updating for an hour!"

Windows 10 anniversary update strikes again.

I've been looking into the world of mechanical keyboards, and damm I'm overwhelmed by the possibillities of configurations and products. Why is chosing a keyboard for the MacBook 12" which has only 1 usb-c so hard? Any advice on keyboards and keyswitches?

Started my internship Monday. Got given a new top spec MacBook Pro. Yay. Except it has the German Keyboard layout. () require shift and yet {} and [] require alt. Whoever designed the layout clearly doesn't program.
Oh and the imposter syndrome is coming on strong.

The look of people who discover Dvorak on my phone...

When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.

We had a system in the office were just pressed 0 on the keyboard to go back one step in the program. My kast day at the worn I removed all 0 keys from all the keyboards in the offfice and hid them.

tbh my high school curriculum revolves around the fact that my compsci class is run by code.org
i fucking hate those videos and drag and drop blocks to learn how to code
in 10years when im (hoping to be ) a software engineer, will the company have drag and drop? no. they will have keyboards and a screen. teach me how to fucking type code and not blocks please...
code.org has tainted this world just like how puberty tainted my dick recently...
teach me how to code, dont teach me how to drag and drop..

My old mechanical keyboard broke, so I had to buy a new one. I'm Brazilian, so the local market for mech keyboards is either limited or very fancy (fancy as gaming keyboards).

So I got this amazing Logitech G610, which unfortunately is not sold with blue switches here, only brown ones. Very solidly built, well made, good extra keys and whatnot.

BUT OH MY, who ever thinks those LED effects are good for normal usage after 5 minutes of playing with them??? VERY distracting! <o>

I was wondering why monitors sleep and keyboards don't. Then I realised that the keyboard has two SHIFTS.

Whoever thought that using some crappy niche framework for selenium web driver based on node.js instead of using Python or Java bindings like every other reasonable person would do should be beaten to death with old keyboards.

The keyboards of original ThinkPad computers are easily the best which I have ever used.

alias please=sudo

Public Service Request to Users from Tokyo and those with good knowledge in buying keyboards.

Which retail shop sell tenkeyless mechanical keyboard such as HyperX Alloy FPS Pro? With English words not Japanese 😬

I can't find it at my country and my gf is currently at Tokyo for a training, so.

On further note, I'm looking for a keyboard with following requirements. Would appreciate your recommendation.
- without numpad
- standard qwerty layout (US/UK)
- backlit (any color, as long as keys are visible in dark)
- USB wired
- easy to clean and maintain
- must last for more than 3 years

Monday morning client meetings are usually a pain. If they're not delayed once, they're delayed twice, and they go on for hours, taking up the entire morning for everyone on the project.

To make today even better, it was about an hour of our client ripping into us developers on the project, and the application we're making, to shreds, saying that we have a lack of attention to detail and are working well.
(not bearing in mind, we're building a hybrid application, so it's a glorified web page and we can't test on every android phone, or iOS device and any combination of keyboards for those in between, and every problem comes with its own quirks when you're forcing things with html, js and angularjs).

I feel back for the pm, she had literally 5 more hours of salty, salty calls with our other poc about the issues raised and how we could go about fixing all these minor issues, since they know the solution to them, despite having little to zero technical knowledge.

Just another day in the office I guess.

Buying a mechanical keyboard was probably one of the best decisions I ever made!

Does anyone make punchable keyboards? Free devRant product idea @dfox @trogus

We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.

I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!

I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.

Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.

You know you're a true server admin when you have two keyboards and you use the better one with the server instead of your desktop computer.

git pull origin master --allow-unrelated-histories

Because I like to keep life interesting.

I see ads on marketing tools every fucking where.
Do I look stupid to you, Facebook and Google?
I don't fucking need them.
Who needs those stupid products anyway?

I even saw a reskinned XAMPP being marketed as 'local testing for your WordPress website', like what the actual fuck? Isn't that fucking scamming?
Oh, right. They were targeting WordPress monkies. Oh.

Anyway, please show me some more keyboards instead.
I've been in keyboard market for like 2 weeks you know.

Holy fuck.

When you immediately regret your career decisions.

I want to buy a beer for everyone who developed the mobile pass app. Just breezed through immigration and customs without waiting in the 1 hour+ line. Technology wins. Cheers!

Why do germans have to use STRG?
ITS CONFUSING!
Im Swiss german and people often say to me use STRG!
Only that im speaking german isn't a real Argument! Why are we even using different keyboard-layouts?
Why arent we all using CTRL?
Its pretty mich the Standard for all keyboards!
And what confused me the most when er got Windows 7 machines at primary school!
I didn't know what fucking button to press until the IT Guy of our school came and explained US all that STRG was CTRL!
And the most worst of all, when german youtubers say Press CTRL in a Video but show STRG!

There are keyboards with built-in smartcard reader :o Can't attach a pic of it because I've seen it during a confidential process.

If I had some money to with I'd probably get my own little workshop and tinker with micro controllers, custom keyboards and so on.

if only...

I would love to see the environment that the Mac OS X team works in.

Do they work in all cubicles? Is it more of an open space? Do they use the latest Macs? If so, do they use all Apple hardware? Or do they swap out keyboards/mice with ones that they prefer? Which secondary displays they use etc.

I just wonder if the professional Mac OS X developers actually use their Macs the same way that Apple wants their customers to use them.

How I feel about loud and endless keyboard typing.

Hint: it's an exaggerated joke

Bought Logitech gaming mouse. They are doing everything they can to try and get you to get an account. However, it is not yet required. I stopped using Razer devices because of them requiring an account. I hope Logitech doesn't end up there. It seems like every company is going to shit. So for now Logitech isn't a bunch of shits. If they had required an account I would return the gaming mouse. I don't need that noise.

What I really want though is a framework that works with all vendors for added functionality. An extended feature framework.

What does the extended features for gaming mice and keyboards look like under Linux?

I have a LOT of Floppies but no floppy drive that works with my current Win7 machine, and my XP one is in multiple boxes for parts... so for now I can only stare at NetWare 4 to 4.2, WfW 3.11 and DOS 6-22.

Smart me made VMs on his XP machine and transferred them to his Win7 one.

I also have data tapes... now that is NEVER gonna work on my Win7 so... anyone knows how it could *possibly* work out?

Also... I got documentation on Compaq servers... those are nice.

AAAAAAND since I’m a huge MIDI nerd... I have a SC-55mkII hooked on the UM-ONE mkII and those shitty cans that I’m gonna switch (hopefully) soon for a nice pair of Cakewalks MA-15Ds.

Also, I’m looking for one of them 5150s because 80s IBM and since I also like keyboards... the one and only Model M.

Anyone can hook me up with a cheap one?

Just moved countries and started a new job at an awesome company, which is so great I have nothing yet to rant about.

Oh here goes: almost three weeks with no internet at home and no end in sight.

Marginally unpopular opinion perhaps: Mechanical keyboards are awful to develop with.

Been trying to update some really old C++ piece of code.
And all the comments and variable names are in FR*NCH.
Apparently they didn't had accents in the keyboards back then, because they used stars instead.
Makes it really hard to tell commented code from French comments.

Obs: I don't speak nor can read French. Neither does anyone in my team.

Why are people praising macbook keyboards is beyond me, this shit terrible, feels like cracking a touchscreen on every press

I had an interesting mystery the other day. I work in the UK, but I'm working remotely from the US for a while. First day, I made some changes, ran the tests and they failed. Weird part was the failing test was for a component I hadn't touched. I took a closer look, and realized it was a date off by several hours. The test was checking that a passed in date appears in the output. But it was creating the date by parsing a string. The library I was using defaults to local time, but the component uses UTC. So, I had inadvertently created a unit test that only passes when run from UTC. But I had never noticed before because my work is in that timezone. Yikes!

Just attended my first conference and it was awesome! So many new ideas, but also tired and overloaded. Can't decide if I should code tonight, go to bed early, or just do something mindless.

Why do I make everything so expensive. I'm not a hardcore enthusiast, but at the same time I wont settle for "mainstream" and so I do weird unique things that end up costing more than they should

My mech keyboards are all DIY, I've spent $150-200 on 3 different occasions for 3 different keyboards. I think I'm settling down, but boy that was rough on my wallet.

Now I'm working on a custom workstation build, but I can't just use any normal tower because I ain't no normie. I want it to be SFF/portable so I'm planning on spending $250 just on the shoebox case (DAN A4-SFX). That's probably the most expensive part, besides maybe the GPU. Current plan is R7 1700 or 2700 with 16GB, RX 580 8GB, and 1TB NVMe, around USD$1200 total maybe

iPhone keyboards need haptic feedback. 😑

Things you should not say on your last day of work:

If I broke it, I think it would be pretty obvious.

Anyone know where I can get custom keyboards? I live in Asia, recommend me some please

~rant
I think we need to change way how websites deliver themselves to its users. This HTML CSS JS clusterfuck is just a huge PITA in the ass.

What is a website?
It's an application where users find, communicate or share information, can buy or sell their penis pumps and loads of shady stuff.
Why must a website (the delivered application) be split into multiple languages/scripts and lots of HTTP requests?
In my opinion, PWA is a start to make us look at websites more like apps as we are used to on the machine, but they don't solve the mess.
Per my experience, many people working on websites regularly confuse what's executed on the server and what is on the client. They send data to the client via XHR, for example full DB tables of private data, just to then filter it in their beloved Array.filter function.
You can tell those people again and again and this is why I start thinking that the Web, as we know it, needs a big change.