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So apparently somone put Snapchat's iOS source code on github. I love the capitals in this DMCA notice like SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! take it down already.
https://github.com/github/dmca/...
16 -
Mother of god, as if the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands wasn't bad enough, one of the politicians who likes the new law has come up with an even more redicilous idea.
an 'Internet Authority. To put it short, an authority which surveils the internet in real time and sees where all social media shit is coming from/going.
Meaning that it wouldn't just be 'targeted mass surveillance' sometimes but fulltime online monitoring.
This guy has lost his fucking mind.35 -
- you don't like math
- you don't like study
- you don't read documentation
- you throw out the manual
- you like to punch a clock
- you dislike books and reading
- you don't ever work more than 8 hours
- you can't tolerate the occasional weekend work day
- you fold under pressure
- you aren't good at crunch time
- you can't do on-call without committing seppuku
- you don't have attention to detail
- you aren't interested in technology
- you're not good at explaining things
- you can't deal with change
- you're not excited by the prospect of extreme variety
- you don't have the ability to focus
- you can't deal with ego without resorting to violence
- you can't deal with someone calling your baby ugly
- you can't discriminate between fact and opinion
And many, many more23 -
hate it when Linux users talk like they own the cyber world.. linux is bla bla windows is shit shit..
I am not a linux fan, nor a Windows fan. just I use what is the best for the requirements21 -
FUCKING FRONTEND DEVELOPING PIECE OF SHIT.
Why the fuck does justify-content: center behaves differently on chrome, Firefox and IE?
JESUS FUCKING CHRISTMAS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER12 -
How to be the Dev with no friends
Say:
"DevRant is shit"
"SO is shit!! "
" Quora is shit"
"I dont need Friends"
Voila: ur life is ruined now14 -
"ThE FIrsT ThiNg a Pr0GraMmer saYs whEn hE iZ b0Rn iZ HELlo w0Rld"
Damn, that is
So
Fucking
Funny
I wonder. Do the people that find this shit amusing are just discovering what programming is? Shit is so fucking cringey man.20 -
!rant
We just did a massive update to our prod db environment that would implicate damn near all system in our servers....on a friday.
Luckily for us, our DB is a badass rockstar mfking hero that was planning this shit for a little over a year with the assistance of yours truly as backup following the man's lead...and even then I didn't do SHIT
My boy did great, tested everything and the switch was effortless, fast (considering that it went on during working hours) and painless.
I salute my mfking dude, if i make my own company I am stealing this mfker. Homie speaks in SQL, homie was prolly there when SQL was invented and was already speaking in sql before shit was even set in spec, homie can take a glance at a huge db and already cast his opinion before looking at the design and architecture, homie was Data Science before data science was a thing.
Homie is my man crush on the number one spot putting mfking henry cavill on second place.
Homie wakes up and pisses greatness.
Homie is the man. Hope yall have the same mfking homie as I do5 -
Me a year ago:
// Pieces together a deadbeat crappy php-script
"Man... PHP is shit"
Me now:
// Gets paid to create controllers for php framework applications
"Man... PHP is THE shit!"4 -
To the guy who shits religiously at 2pm everyday and leaves the door open, making me have to stand up to put an end to the foul smell:
alert("FUCK YOU");
And what's most disturbing is that I've grown accustomed to his shit's smell.
Shit.9 -
Just got a new TV, 4K... it’s one of those smart ones, by Samsung.
Anyone want to explain what the fuck “McAfee Security for TV” is, and why the fuck it is necessary!?
What kind, of absolute waster madman goes “I know what I’ma do today, write a virus for a tv”!?
Take that shit elsewhere McAfee.
Now accepting any links to known Smart TV 0-days and attacks...
And I had to sign in to 5 different fucking accounts to get to the fucking tv.
The world is broke as fuck. Roll on the apocalypse.30 -
So my office is located in the oldest part of the hospital I work at. Weird shit happens here, especially at night. Currently working on configuring our security cameras, stand by for triply shit.12
-
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3 -
Disclaimer: searching for a self hosted Spotify alternative but haven't found one yet so suggestions are very welcome!
I really don't get how spotify's music algorithms or whatever the fuck you'd call those (you get what I mean) work.
- Whenever I click on the button which should make a song not appear in my daily mix anymore, I hear it again within a fucking day.
- how the fuck does the getting you new songs which you might like work?! I'm a huge rawstyle fan and mostly listen to, surprise surprise, rawstyle.
Then why in the living fuck keeps Spotify coming up with euphoric/melodic hardstyle tracks?! I like those sometimes but only *sometimes*.
More and more often I have to skip through 20-30+ songs to get one raw song instead of a fucking euphoric one.
Replies from their support are non existent.
It's getting so fucking annoying.17 -
Saw some cheapie little radio in the dollar store, bought 2 of them for reverse engineering. Powered it from my lab bench power supply as usual, and tested whether it actually works before doing anything else.. then I noticed that the tunes were actually quite catchy, so I just ended up listening.
Then I started to notice that the audio wire I was using (the one I've spent a couple of days building earlier) had intermittent audio issues where the right driver would drop out when the wire was held in certain positions. Oscilloscope probing showed that there was some sort of disconnect, with only the 50Hz noise from the power lines showing up. Opened up the connector and noticed that the ground wire had detached. An 28AWG electrical wire that was inside a jack that was meant for stress relief! Yet the copper strands must've detached one by one regardless. What do I need then, huh?! 18AWG which wouldn't even fit on the connector, only to see the strands in that eventually detach as well?! You know what, let's go fancy.. 1AWG which is meant for extremely high current applications!!
At that point I was literally shouting "FUCK!!! Why does this shit always happen to me?!! ONE FUCKING PROJECT THAT FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY, YET STILL BROKE?!!!! WHY!!!!!!"
Clearly I need some fresh air to cool down. On my way to the fast food restaurant to get some Bicky burgers. More shit, humans. One stupid driver who slowed down on me, which of all things I hate the most. GO FASTER ALREADY YOU SLOWFUCK, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! Next a pedestrian with a dog.. I swear motherfucker, if that dog comes anywhere near me I'll personally turn it into fucking fricassee.
Ah and then comes the killer.. in this stupid fucking summer, all that's needed to fix any issue is a fucking stupid DESPACITO, right?! More like DeSPASTICo!! FUCK!!!!
.. Back home, rather tired. So essentially a wire that was specifically built to have high endurance broke on me. Back to Bluetooth I guess.2 -
I consider myself a fucking lazy piece of shit that could probably could come up with something amazing if I wasn't the lazy piece of shit I am.2
-
FOR FUCK SAKE APPLE! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU STILL IN THIS WORLD!
Was creating a signed file of the app to upload to their store and while XCode (that bitch!) was working on it, Slack, and Postman crashed!
Do I need to say why or you already knew it is because XCode ate all the RAM -.-7 -
Working with the french person in the office and git gets me every time.
shit push, shit merge, shit rebase
Goddamn accent!7 -
My department is legit getting a fuckload of heat over some missing reports that were not generated by the lead dev.
Shit falls on me since he ain't here.
Look b. I am gon give it to ya straight: I don't give a fuck, your shit is secondary, unimportant, bottom of the list...call the vp if you want, he gon get a fuckload of indifference as well ....
know why?
Cuz yall motherfuckers want shit done quick af but don't say shit till the same day. Fuck, shit don't work that way...pendejo.
Best thing? I ain't even supposed to be doing this shit at all because of y'all bitches not placing me in the correct classification... -
Psa: i dont give a shit if you use php but dont you fucking dare echo your shit out to the dom or i will fucking gut you you degenerate16
-
Least favorite "enterprise" application?
SharePoint
It sucks the shit rope from the chocolate starfish.5 -
"Shit, redefined."
"Shit, reinvented"
"One shit to rule them all!"
"A new era of bullshit"
"The world's 1st portable pile of shit!"
-> Typical Kickstarter slogans...
Seriously I found at least five campaigns using them! Wtf how uncreative can you be!?5 -
lesson of the day:
if you enter the office toilet while chewing gum, the simultaneous smell of shit and jaw movement will lead your brain to think you're eating shit3 -
Holy fucking shit! What the actual fuck is this?!!!
The funny part: this is not the worst e-mail I got from them, the person who is responsible for these e-mails should have been fired 2 years ago.
7 -
Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...4
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DISCLAIMER: I swear to god this is true. This is a completely unfabricated anecdote.
Soon we are moving to a new office space, and my department have been delegated the responsibility of moving all of the computers from the old work space to the new one. I was a little confused at first, because I'm a software developer, not a removalist.
It gets better.
We just had a meeting the other day, and my manager had advised us that we were to be moving the machines on a Saturday. I confirmed whether we were being paid overtime, simply because I had never worked a Saturday before. My manager replied (this is paraphrased but ultimately accurate) - "It's unpaid. Because you get paid a salary, you're expected to do unpaid overtime here and there. We have christmas parties and nights out, all of which come out of the companies pocket. Not all companies do this, so it's only fair you give back".
I honestly couldn't believe it. I was being asked to spend basically the majority of my day off moving computers from one site to another, for free, purely because it's "expected". Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy?
Long story short, I went home and started updating my resume.18 -
So... Been making a script so that my tmux layout on my tty only hard drive displays the weather.
Apparently there is a place called 'Shit' in the world, and there's some 'Patchy rain possible' in 'Shit'.
'Shit' also seems to be 15 °C, and have 3km/h winds. Not sure which direction, but I hope nowhere near my house.
7 -
PM: Hey listen, client sent us his feedback about the app that we need to fix, they wont take time.
Me: Sure no problem.
5 Minutes later:
*Receives email*
*checks email*
15 easy tasks that take not time to finish BUT they are put inside ONE FUCKING TASK ON JIRA! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT! 15 IN ONE YOU DUMB FUCK!
MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS AND WRITE EACH IN ITS OWN MOTHERFUCKING TASK!
Another reason on why I hate humans -_-1 -
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you need properly tested backups!
TL;DR: user blocked on old gitlab instance cascade deleted all projects the user was set as owner.
So, at my customer, collegue "j" reviews gitlab users and groups, notices an user who left the organisation
"j" : ill block this user
> "j" blocks user
> minutes pass away, working, minding our own business
> a wild team devops leader "k" appears
k: where are all the git projects?
> waitwut?.jpg
> k: yeah all git projects where user was owner of, are deleted
> j.feeling.despair() ; me.feeling.despair();
> checks logs on server, notices it cascade deletes all projects to that user
> lmgt log line
> is a bugreport reported 3(!) years ago
> gitlab hasnt been updated since 3 years
> gitlab system owner is not present, backup contact doesnt know shit about it
> i investigate further, no daily backup cron tasks, no backup has been made whatsoever.
> only 'backups' are on file system level, trying to restore those
> gitlab requires restore of postgres db
> backup does not contain postgres since the backup product does not support that (wtf???)
> fubar.scene
> filesystem restore finished...
> backup product did not back up all files from git tree, like none of refs were stored since the product cannot handle such filenames .. Git repo's completely broken
Fuck my life6 -
Azure may look like shit at the beginning, but given enough time to experience it you understand that you were right all along, it is actual shit7
-
We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.
First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???
1 -
If you are a father and you find out your kind produced a pile of shit, you change the diaper and get rid of it all. No questions asked.
If you are a developer and your colleague produces pile of shit and you try to get rid of it, you end up in meetings how this piece if shit is actually master piece of shit and have to argue about it to manager that knows shit about a shit.2 -
Legit considering quitting my job and going back to my old workplace.
Fucking getting real tired of fucking around with html and css on the daily.
The school is fucking crashing down on our shitty as web services. But my manager (as much as we love her) is forcing everyone to double time on a rather stupid project that keeps constantly changing on the daily.
I am so fucking tired of it4 -
WanBLowS Vusta is more stable than this piece of shit that you call code. Yet you call yourself a programmer? Goddammit, even the shit that I dump in the toilet looks better. Because at least that thing is honest about being shit, unlike this craptacular mess that you call an application. Maybe consider kill -9 $(pidof life).3
-
Docker and kubernetes might be about the biggest boost in productivity that we have had as developers in the last fucking century and I can't speak well enough for theres technoligies.
FUCK ME this shit is good, this shit is great and this shit is NEEDED.
FUCKING LEARN THIS TECH18 -
The entire fucking internet is an unusable pile of shit. Why is it that every time I click on LITERALLY ANY link on google and I start reading, 2 seconds later the text shifts to an other location because the fucking font loads, 3 seconds later it fucking moves again because a god damn ad just loaded above it, and after all the loading bullshit is done it shoves a fucking cookie banner (that usually covers half the page) and a fucking newsletter popup in my face. This makes it literally impossible to quickly read someting on a website without interruption. It's fucking 2020 and we bout to put a fucking man on mars, yet the technology still isn't advanced enough to make the internet less fucking annoying.13
-
If my UI is bad, the app is shit.
If my functionalities are bad, the app is shit.
Being an android developer requires you to be a fill stack developer by default.8 -
Got a simple task
Decided to refactor some related shit so I don't have duplicated code
Get loads of problems with the shit I'm trying to refactor, now I'm late with the simple task13 -
Any one else’s kinda enjoy the process of removing tech debt? always thought it felt good to rip out old shit to put in shiny new shit4
-
Holy shit, today I was the first person to arrive at work... And then the alarm came on... I didn't knew the code 😅 sooooo a panic phone call later, I turned it off but holy Shit... I've never had this rush this early of the day
-
I walked into the office.
Following the usual morning words spit out, more undead then awake.
"Good morning, jada, jada."
I'm placing my backpack on my desk.
Now opening the case with the notebook.
I grab the notebook as usual.
*crack*
Shit.
Now I'm holding the battery pack in hands. My notebook still chills in my backpack.
FUCKING FUCK SHIT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? CURSES ON THE MANUFACTURER OF THAT PIECE O' SHIT!2 -
Article 13 has been FUCKING PASSED. SHIT SHIT FUCKEDDY FUCK ING FUCK-CHRIST ON A FUCKING FUCK BYCICLE MADE OF FUCKING ARSNIC COVERED LEGO BRICKS WITH PINS INSTEAD OF BUMPS BEING RIDDEN BY THE DECREPIT CORPSES THE EU CALLS A FUCKING GOVERNMENT!!
FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK SHIT AAAAAAAAAARGGGGG!
First chance I get I'm asking for a transfer to America.
10 -
hey helo i doNT GIVE A SHIT THAT YOU CANT READ MY DOCUMENTATION AND SPAM ME WITH QUESTIONS THAT HAVE THE ANSWER WRITTEN IN THE SPECIFICATION YOU WROTE IM PLAYING FUCKING LEAGUE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT
-
This day I have received the most glorious news in e-pistolary form. For some years, I was suffering in support of a client who was, well, insufferable. My presence there paralleled the divine comedy in both essence and fact.
I opened the missive, expecting another plea to bail them out of whatever clusterfuck they found themselves in. Instead, what I found was something truly magical.
"Hey Human,
I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure if you remember a few years back, we were trying to decide between IBM Cloud and AWS. Well, after years of battling FF*, we're finally moving ahead with AWS. He failed one too many times to deliver anything visibly. After you left, there was no one left he could use to steal credit, ideas, and work.
FF is still pushing to have them use IBM cloud as a "warm backup" in the event "AWS fails." We will see where that goes.
I figured you'd like to know; you were the void in the wilderness for a long time. I don't want to think about how much time we could have saved if we had just listened.
PeeEm**"
This event represents a personal victory, albeit belated, over a few peoples' absurd amount of privilege. Towards the end, I was vicious about my contestation to the insanity of adopting a desperate hedge attempt-as-cloud offering from a failing company. Some examples:
// cloud 'strategy meeting'
Moi: What cloud platform are we looking at using?
FF: We're looking at IBM cloud and AWS as a second.
Moi: Why is that? I understand you're obligated to rep your offering first, but that decision doesn't seem to have the customer's best interest at heart.
FF: IBM cloud is a market leader; AWS isn't as good.
Moi: I see. I mean, that's the tech equivalent of the company's fleet management considering monkeys on tricycles as a strong competitor to service trucks, but I get what you mean.
// steering meeting
Director: Who can we look to as an example? Who is currently using the IBM cloud?
Moi: No one; they account for a single-digit portion of the actual cloud market. Their long game to sell you a "Hybrid Cloud," which means put some front end payload in a CDN, and buy n-frame units of IBM z servers for the DC with IBM gateway appliances acting as connective tissue. So it's not the cloud at all, really.
Director: How does it compare in cost?
Moi: It's generally 40% more expensive than other clouds, and it only goes higher as you option their software.
Director: What about Watson? I hear Watson is good?
Moi: It's a brand name. Most of the "Watson" product is just a facade on top of FOSS products like Spark, Hadoop, Elasticsearch, etc.
Director: Those were words. They sounded good. FF say it's good tho so we'll believe him because we're from the same city.
Moi: *deletes Director from LinkedIn*
Moral of the story: Never trust a vendor that only recommends their products.
*FF = FatFuck - an embarrassingly rotund individual whose girth is roughly equivalent to his height. He shit his way into an IBM architect position in his mid-20s purely due to winning the visa lottery. He had fake hair glued to his head for his wedding to hide his male pattern baldness; his arrange-married wife undoubtedly cries herself to sleep after sex.
**PeeEm - the then project manager, now portfolio manager of some satellite projects. An overall decent human being, capable.9 -
What the fuck happened to laravel docs, what fuckwad thought the only docs across the entire internet that are properly readable, need its shit fucked up and made into borderless, bold fontweight, shit font dogshit.
12 -
you motherfucking cocksucking ass wipes.
How fucking hard is it for you JS cockheads to have STABLE fucking code?
So hear I am, thinking through a side project for data extraction and loading to automate some shitty part of my job, that could be used by the broader team... and decide to use electron.... I know it's a clusterfuck, but this wouldn't be a big application, so against my better judgement I run:
npm install electron
npm start
...
Error: unknown spawn
🤷♂️ you had 1 fucking job... 1 fucking lousy shit stain of a job, and you can't even have something run out of the god foresaken box without someone debugging your shit.
Now who has a WORKING alternative to electron?10 -
Dear git,
FUCK YOUR FUCKING FUCK SHIT .GITIGNORE FILE! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING REMOVE THE IGNORED FILES FROM THE VCS? EVEN GIT RM --CACHED --FORCE DOES NOT WORK WTF
TL;DR
"git" your shit done.
Yours sincerely
Scrumplex3 -
Holy fucking shit germany... what the fuck is wrong with you?! the FUCKING TELECOM CONTROLS MOST OF THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Like holy fucking shit?! And what did they announce? svdsl... SVDSL?! SUPER VECTORING DSL?! I mean... you take the oldest car... make it a little better... you get SDSL... And then? you go for Fiber? no. YOU MAKE THE FUCKING SHIT EVEN DEEPER! You take your OLD FUCKING CAR AND MAKE IT A ZOMBIE! And then you get Super Vectoring DSL... holy shit germany... take your shit together and EXPAND YOUR FUCKING FIBER NETWORK! Fuck.7
-
...5 minutes ago per ssh on the productivity server...
"ok, let's delete this old test directory ..."
*types rm -r www*
....*thinking* ...*realising* ... "FUUUUUCK!!11"
*quickly types git clone gitadress"
*checks website* "phew!"1 -
Shit. My ssd died y-day. Got a new one [970evo] today (tx bro!).
Guess who's gonna spend the night recreating the whole env: ui, scripts, triggers, integrations, tunnels, qemu vms, apps, bkup restores,....
Shit9 -
For fucks sake
Will I really have to become the fucking PM around here so shit start being done properly?
We look like bunch of scared cockroaches doing random shit everyday and lying to our selves that we are gonna meet deadlines and produce quality software but the only shit we can produce is quality bug.1 -
Windows file system is a slow piece of shit.
The update regime on most applications for Windows desktop is an unmanageable piece of shit.
Windows Store is a broken piece of shit.
The login process on a Windows computer is a tedious piece of shit.
The Windows Hello authentication is a half-baked piece of shit.
Microsoft MFA is a hostile piece of shit.
Windows Update is a destructive piece of shit.
Windows Defender is a resource-hogging piece of shit.
Windows system fonts are ugly as a piece of shit.4 -
Assignment release: this is a basic assignment that is supposed to help you understand the basics of memory allocation. You are free to use any design you want, however you can implement more advanced features that would lean towards specific designs. What will be punished is that you don't have a dynamic memory allocator. We will run the tests for these offline after the deadline
2 days before the deadline: we released the tests for checking whether you're allocating memory dynamically, but these tests also check for this specific design. So fuck you for choosing any other design than this one. Have fun on sleepless nights.
Fuck me, I guess, for worthlessly working on a different design than they wished for, but didn't specifically ask for from the beginning. I just wasted 2 weeks of my life and feel unmotivated af to do anything anymore regarding this. Fuck this shit. Fuck them. Fuck this course.1 -
It's oddly satisfying to see other devs rant about the shit they go through. And yet, I can't deal with the shit that people rant on non-dev related on Facebook.
-
While in the banking world, I had a project where I had to automate an import into a shit system called CRAWiz. The data had to come from multiple archaic loan systems with no API and tons of shit data.
After implementing, the shit data came to light. Instead of fixing shit data (and using their loan systems correctly), they decided to go back to digging through physical files and manually importing. They blamed CRAWiz and decided to go with a new system to import their shit data into. I warned them repeatedly that a new system would not fix the shit data but they couldn't accept it. I left at that point. 😂 -
#whenProdBreaks
$data = ["some","predefined","data","set"];
// :/ this suddenly broke
//$response = $this->makeSoapRequest($data);
/**
Due to prod failure, Hot-swap soap for rest - don't ask how we took the same input, spun the shit out of the response and recreated the same data structure that the soap request made, but it works... and that's all you will ever have to know.
**/
$response = $this->makeRestRequest($data);
//process the response
$this->process($response); -
When you actually think about it, the Lazarus IDE for the Free Pascal compiler has the coolest name.
Them: what are you working on?
Me: **looks at screen and whispers** Lazarus......
I have been fucking around with Pascal more since I started to remember my Delphi days. Shit is tight af man.
I think I will try and build a site around it. Something sexy and modern to make this tech stack more l
Known to people. So far I have been having a blast playing with it.
Such an easy and powerful environment. And the syntax is so easy to learn.13 -
"My Website is beautiful"
"Mine Is better"
"No yours is shit"
FUCK OFF!
I DONT GIVE A DAMN
About HOW FUCKING overloaded your COCKSITE Is! I DONT GIVE A SHIT!
Why? Because of TWO MOTHERFUCKING REASONS!
First: I dont GIVE A SINGLE FUCK
Second:
MOTHERFUCKINGWEBSITE.COM IS THE REAL SHIT2 -
!Rant
That amazing moment when everyone leaves office and I can enjoy music loud on iMacs amazing speakers \m/3 -
Today's my birthday... As usual, I worked in my office... At morning (approx 11:30AM) I received a call from my boss yelling cause a shit deadline and for some shit that I didn't sent to him (I already sent, the bastad was in vacation and didn't saw it)... His wife wished me happy birthday but the mother fucker didn't say a shit instead yelling during all day... Our relationship sucks cause he's a fucking bastard that doesn't know a shit of development process and I am done of his stupid shit... I fucking need to change my job!!!!13
-
Fucking mongodb... the name is really fitting "mongol db"..
I get that a NoSQL db can be very useful but holy crap mongodb is shit..
Even better is the security.. holy shit it's insecure..
"Just use the configuration to only allow 127.0.0.1" stfu that shit apparently doesn't work on fucking centos..
And yes my customer did get hacked
And yes they did blame me
And yes I did have a backup5 -
When that shit start up reject you and instead of being polite you pull their shit app apart at the seams.
2 -
I hate responsive shit and the MF who coined it! It’s shit work, and I am tired of fucking doing it. Bootstrap sucks and still fucks up. FML!4
-
Can't tell if I have all my ++ from quality shit posting, or just lots of shit posting...
My bets on the latter...1 -
I work in a multinational ..time stamps everywhere without fucking Timezones..fucking Jira shit why is there no TZ on this shit…utter cunts who configured it or the software itself4
-
You know what really grinds my gears?
Executive bathrooms. They get gold and marble and all kinds of fancy shit and the rest of us get a linoleum shit box. Who do they think they are? Are they too good to shit and piss with their developers. You know...the people who make the shit that makes them money?
Executives are just overpaid suits who do next to nothing while the rest of us carry their fat asses across the finish line and they are too good to take a shit with us common folk.12 -
macOS has the shittiest image viewer.
can't do shit with it.
cant skip to next image
can't do shit.
it just shits these and stares at me
shitty
shitty shity
shity
shit
afdafd
safs
fds14 -
Third-world countries like Russia do deplorable shit. First-world countries do deplorable shit too. The difference is I can be vocally anti-Biden in the US without a red-hot soldering iron being inserted into my rectum by the police.7
-
Legit my only answer to fixing shit code for a nursing app at work is.....
Writing more shit code. Man the dude that developed this before had 0 clue what he was doing.....and because shit grew out of control there is shitcode everywhere.
I like writing shit code though. It is good practice.
Writing shit code without knowing is one thing. You really do reach expert level when you write shit code WHILE being fully aware of it.1 -
5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.
How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.
No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.
And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.
Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!! -
I swear to fucking god the itch.io desktop app is one of the worst design and programming piles of shit out there...
Deisgn is inconsistent and ugly, stability is up shit creek and simple performance is just shit even for an electron app.
If anyone has to do anything with downloading stuff from itch, just do it manually and ignore the app all together -
We're both senior devs, I use nodeJS/Python. Stop forcing your Java *superiority* shit on me. I can write the API using either language. Also fuck your JVM. FUCK THAT SHIT4
-
FUCKING SHIT WINDOWS YOU MOTHERFUCKING SHIT OS!!!
Everything on our server ran perfectly, but Windows had to fucking update the shit out of himself!! There isn't even a simple option to stop Windows from updating itself automatically.. You have to fucking change your Windows registry to prevent this shithole!!!7 -
Anyone do me a favour. Curse at me, and say the worst things to me, my critics.
Not some soft shit, pampering bullshit, say some harshest shit.20 -
I either made the most useless piece of shit or the most useful piece of shit and i really dont know whic one it is.
https://github.com/RazorSh4rk/...6 -
Monday morning we found out our main event queue hadn't processed since late Wednesday afternoon. Shit was hitting the fan and we were stumped. What had changed?!?. Why wasn't the queue processor running?!?
Turns out a server restart had killed the job (no worries there, surely?!) but turns out the job checked for a system flag on disk to stop it running multiple instance or in this case as the flag was still present any instance at all. Got to love the little things that really screw you over.6 -
Fucking garbage piece of shit microsoft httpclient
identical request works in node!
identical request works in postman!
but noooooooo httpclient, you have to add the content length on the content itself, can't add authorization header except through special way, serialization is wrong bunch of shit pile of shit no working shit3 -
Updating angular and npm/node/whatever the fuck is the most difficult and convoluted thing ever
Web devs, you deserve better than this awful piece of shit cable mess of a fucking "framework" or whatever the fuck this retarded shit is meant to be2 -
What a day.
Reviewing and merging a months worth of work, configuring cloudformation for the new changes, and deploying to the staging environment when err mer gawd AWS decides to shit it's self.
Nothing like spotting "rollback in progress" and then not being able to access the EC2 instance... or ANY instance for that matter, from the console, so I'm like fine , I'll just wait for the roll back to finish.... it's usually only 5-10 minutes but no.... 3 hours later.
Guess I know what I'll be trying again tomorrow.
https://itnews.com.au/news/...7 -
When your up against a session issue and can't fucking work out why the session is lost, not one instance of the logout functionality is called and yet... the fucking thing decides to log you out anyway.
Now this was working all fine and dandy last week, and NOTHING has changed, as in not 1 fucking line of code for this process has been touched in 4 years.
It's like all of a sudden, Satan crawled out of this piece of shit site and decided I was to be toyed with.
As you can imagine, I'm a little pissed at this one, there's something hiding in the shadows fucking me in the ass.2 -
Omg fucking Microsoft Teams shit. Stop it with your auto pop op Emoji menu shit you utter cunts.
I just want to copy the bit of chat…not critique the fuck out of it
Why did our company sign up to this filthy mess? Cunt CTO taking backhanders…when he retires we will be left with this shit…what a wanker!9 -
After debugging this shit Java program for 2 days fucking straight, finally this shit works! Hallelujah!
Turns out, if you want to enable local DCOM/COM+ on windows, you have to not tell the piece of shit firewall that it should consider the network "public"...
WHY?!?
IT'S FUCKING LOCAL! NOT A SINGLE FUCKING NETWORK PACKET IS SEND! WHY?!?4 -
Cengage's shit wanted me to rewrite Bubble Sort in Python. The test also said bubble sort was "the most efficient sorting method."
How does one slap someone in the face with a concept? Someone's getting their shit pushed in with timsort.9 -
3 hours of work lost because the Silverlight Lightswitch project randomly decided to shit itself and corrupts it's generated datasource. Twice.
Go fuck yourself you obsolete piece of shit.2 -
I don’t give a shit about boycotting Mulan, I paid to watch this movie
And the movie is shit, so I genuinely ask people to not waste the money to watch it. It’s just so shit and such a waste of my time71 -
What the fuck is wrong with people!?
When I produced somewhaz high quality Videos, Ive gotten like 10-20 views a day...
Now... I made A FUCKING 10H EDIT OF SOME GUY SAYING SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT... AND I MADE 181 FUCKING VIEWS IN A SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!
FUCK THIS.5 -
Week 3:
Lead developer has not noticed his Favio Lanzoni and My Little Pony wallpapers.
Git gus scrub1 -
Today I was told by my team leader that I hadn't given them proper access to our website and they can't edit it. The repo is hosted on github and is opensource. Also the link can be found on the site....8
-
For windows: Sublime
For linux tty: Vim
VSCode is a bloated piece of shit which can't open a folder without rebooting the whole window. It's only nice next to the rest of the bloated shit out there.19 -
Some common themes I have observed:
1. Why is this API using XML? It should be JSON.
2. Why are they using old shit? It should be new shit.
3. Why are they mixing new shit with old shit?
4. Why is the technology being used not fitting my sense of perfection and order?
What happens when JSON is the old shit? What happens when a new format is adopted that solves some corner case issues with JSON? What if those corner cases were solved by using XML, or a mix of XML and JSON? What happens when all the new shit is the old shit?
We will still be using the new old shit and listening to fucking noobs complain about mixing, matching, and abusing everything ever written. Oh JSON, how quaint and limited. Why did anyone ever use that? Fucking senior devs...10 -
Every morning a developer drops a shit ton of shit in the toilet near my desk and goes away without cleaning the toilet. Then the bathrooms stay crappy all day. Fuck that anon shit bag2
-
How shit are my colleagues? This shit...
Export class TypescriptClass {
DataHasFinishedLoading: Promise;
doAThing() {
GetData()
. Subscribe(all The Data => {
//do some shit with the data
This. DataHasFinishedLoading = Promise. Resolve(true) ;
} )
}
}
This guy has about 10 years experience doing literally javascript. And this code made it through peer review.1 -
blank and this shit is happening.
This shit is one of the reason why i don't use things like this.
2 -
oh shit i hadn't noticed lmfao
this isn't even like... ACTIVE shit, this is just me flipping it on in the back seat when my parents drag me places
6 -
The shit code I wrote before my cs degree is marginally better than the shit code I write now. The lack of of improvement is related to the shit job I got after my degree. Cs degree did teach me a lot of good oo concepts and design.... That I rarely use due to shit legacy code I maintain.1
-
React Native, Flutter, Xamarine, Cordova hope all of you fucking burn in hell! Piece of shit solutions...
Just want to simply enable remote JS debuggin but the fucking app stops reloading when that shit is turned on. Now how the fuck am I supposed to know what the fuck is wrong with my code, disable remote JS debugging and app loads again.
Fuck this shit!6 -
Found this gem a while ago that made my day
if ( $this->isExternal() ) {
// This probably shouldn't even happen. ohh man, oh yuck.
// But for interwiki transclusion it sometimes does.
// Shit. Shit shit shit.
//
// Use the canonical namespaces if possible to try to
// resolve a foreign namespace.
if ( MWNamespace::exists( $this->mNamespace ) ) {
return MWNamespace::getCanonicalName( $this->mNamespace );
}
In a not too old version for mediawiki, the codebase for Wikipedia.
https://phabricator.wikimedia.org/s... -
Don't you love when the designer can do their pretty shit without consulting you and then the client ask you why the shit the designer made looks so different.1
-
Spent sometime looking for questions to answer on StackOverflow for the first time in around 2 years... Mother of God the questions have gotten even worse - and there's even more of them.
Quickly decided to leave it for another time, with the level of stupidity out there I kinda get why almost all the regulars have become assholes.3 -
Finally developed the domain-specific language for random text generation I've been brainstorming for years. It's a pile of steaming shit, but it's MY pile of steaming shit.3
-
So a while back I had found a hole in a website's security, one that I has used pretty frequently. I was able to change my cookies and become any user I wanted. The only caveat was that I had to log in as a user in order to get things started. But once I was in I could basically be anyone I wanted to be just by changing a few numbers in the user ID of the cookie. They also did all of their user processing on the client side. Even password checks.
A couple weeks back I decided to go back in to see if anything had changed since then. It did! But not in the way I had thought.
So these guys decided that instead of fixing their security hole, they would have users just contact their people directly in order to get a new account.
Wow that's so much fucking overhead for basically being a lazy shit and not fixing the security holes. I mean how bad is your architecture if you can't go in and fix this?
Not only that I found that they actually stripped all of the users of their original subscriptions. So now if you want to get back on your subscription you'll have to fork over another $399. So that means going to their shitty form filling out your name, your number, email, and just hope that someone contacts you via phone call.
I'm glad I dropped this service. They clearly can't get their shit together. -
That moment when you realize you spend more money on the non-main hobbies (aircraft shit, coffee, shooting at the shooting range) than on your main passion (programming and tech shit) :^)2
-
The scope for this project was absolute horse shit, and now they are mad because the end product is still horse shit...
I want to feel guilty for the outcome, but I just can't. This is something they should have had foresight for. Validation and testing is absolutely atrocious here. No official real scenario testing, and now the whole thing has been blown wide open for all the shit it can't do. -
Oh shit... My XPS 13 seems to slowly approach it's EOL :(
It has lost power 3 times already since yesterday. The last time it shut down while I was browsing BIOS (UEFI) settings, on a charger...
shit :(
Yes, I am drooling at the new XPS 7390 with advertised battery lifetime of 21 hour. But I'm so used to my lappy.
Shit :(9 -
My phone has a useless Google Discover page on home screen that I can't use without singing in with Google and agreeing to them collecting data. 😐
So now I have a useless page on my home screen. (Really, somebody needs to make a layering over app for this shit that just gets my preferred feed and fill it here to makes use of this space. )10 -
CTO: you guys are not sharing the shit
VP: Bikash, share the shit
PE(principle engnr): Im sharing the shit
sheet*3 -
Shit fuckin fuck shit damn [put whatever bad word you want here]
My phone fell on the ground and this time got hit on that specific weak spot that caused a ripple of cracks on the glass screen.4 -
When the Shit doesn't work local, you Paste the same Shit on jsfiddle and the Shit is working. its the same, damn!
-
Just tried to Setup my elementary os on my Home pc..
The Shit wont work!! Damn!
No WiFi connection! I tried everything.. i think there is a Problem with my Driver.. I was so desperated that i created a Mobile Hotspot, it worked, I run apt get Update and Upgrade , this Shit used over 100mb of my Internet volume.. then i tried the Shit again ... Connect to my WiFi at Home... And it... Doesn't work... Shit!18 -
eclipse is just shit. Had to help a friend with his eclipse installation, crashed every hour or so. Frickin shit. Never had such problems with IntelliJ. This whole program is shit. Not the first time such weird stuff is happening with eclipse4
-
I thing anybody will agree. Just whisper these words slowly: "Microsoft. Exchange. Server."
Just no.4 -
The fact that I managed to migrate the same fuckin keras model from gym to my own mujoco env and nothing broke too bad, is absolutely amazing.
Let's hope the little shit actually ends up learning some proper shit. 😒🦄4 -
I have so much to rant right now. So much. Life is pretty much a tight rope walk right now.
But the project I'm working on right now is annoying. I've ten days to release. It's a website on WordPress. They want complex animated crap using GSAP that fucks readability in the ass. I don't even know how to do animations. I don't JS damn it. Apparently readability is not what we want. We want attention grabbing. It's a fucking government initiative website for crying out loud. Why not put a carousel with my curated list of porn then? They also want the pages to be build using blocks of modules on a page builder so that the client can produce new pages without our help. I still don't have the final designs even. When I asked for the mobile designs, they told me to "just make it look not broken". Uggh.
They spent three weeks making some shit on Squarespace and now they expect me to finish the entire fucking thing with the slutty animations, disgusting text sizes and fucked up designs sense and symmetry in pretty much a week.
And the fucking fuck faced poopy pant regional manager had the balls to tell me I'm not being undersold if I accept his measly offer for a permanent position with a salary less than a 6k per year than what people in my school usually get. -_-5 -
XSS mitigation is a pain in the ass.
After all this time, with all the brilliant developers around the world, why haven't we found a sane way to mitigate this shit by default?
Shit!8 -
Before you tell me shit is real, kindly provide the variables.
```
def real_shit(shit, real):
return shit is real
```2 -
Being the smartest guy on the team so spend most of the time cleaning everyone else's shit up in prod because they can't recognize what they wrote as shit.
O wait..... Hypothetical.... Hm...
I guess if you replace the proverbial shit with actual shit that would be worse... Smartest guy being a janitor...2 -
Lol, installing an Abp package literally breaks startup, you don't even have to use the package, just install it and the shit breaks.
God I hate this bloated piece of shit framework, can't wait to move this codebase to Go. -
Day 1 back from sick leave
Can't focus for shit, like even less so than usual
Not sure if it's the meds
General dissatisfaction here
The unengaging task
Personal issues
Or just sleeping like shit last night3 -
Rant
Alright these fuck heads need to learn what the term flexible means. Flexible is when shit hits the fan you can adapt, not changing shit last fucking second, not telling me, then getting bent out of fucking shape. -
The History of The Scriping Lanuages (JavaScript, Python, and especially PHP):
Once upon a time someone found themselves stranded in the middle of the wilderness without nothing to eat or drink. Having watched Bear Grills as a kid, they grabbed a chunk of elephant excrement and started drinking from it, and the poop saved their life. In that moment, under those very specific and dire circumstances, in that very small scale, excrement was an appropriate solution; but that person did not ever drink from poop again.
Alas, upon hearing this tale, people from around the continent got fascinated with this new extraordinary recipe that had the capacity of saving lives! This new treat became viral. Shit juice, shit pie, and even a shitmulated Microsoft 98! Businesses built their foundations with shit, shit factories, individual shit brokers and recruiters! Everyone wanted a piece of this convenient and disruptive delicacy!
But, alas! as that first person knew, these implementations were not much more than mere shit1 -
JESUS CHRIST GOOGLE YOU ARE A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR COMPANY HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR WEBSITE DESIGN SO SHIT?
goddamit with the amount of fucking whitespace on YouTube I could fit an entire fucking copy of the website in.4 -
Firefox if you want to be the best shit, better fix/ implement most of newer ECMA standards(well a decade old actually), otherwise I have no choice but to use the spyware shit called Google Chrome.1
-
When you're working in visual studio and trying to look through the suggested uses of an object and fucking shit keeps popping up all over the screen to tell what type things are and shit and you're just like "get the fuck out of the way I can't see shit you useless cunt fuck."
Visual studio buddy. You're killing me.2 -
"Unexpectedly found nil while unwrapping an Optional value"
What dev thought this would be a good idea in Swift? Sometimes I hear the compiler's thoughts as it comes across this:
1. The dev explicitly told me this value would be optional.
2. I have a record from the database, and I see a 'nil' in the column for this value.
3. That's not "None" , Oh my god, I need there to be an explicit "None<CustomType>".
4. Shit shit shit shit. Oh my god.
5. PANIC!4 -
Joined a new team at work hoping to learn something new. Was told by the team lead that they will be starting development on a new project that I was interested in.
Guess what it was all a fucking lie. I'm assigned a task to create documentation for some legacy java shitcode without any fucking comments.
Fine I get it, they say it's required going down the road of the new project as it will work alongside the old application. But the code is so fucking bad. For starters
-The db host and credentials are hard-coded in a million places
-it stores user credentials in plain text
-its creating files in the fucking filesystem to store things instead of storing it in the db
-each functions ranges from 100 to 8000 lines of code
Who even codes like this 🤯
And I can't fix these issues. All I need to do is document every function and class and package. Fine. Fuck this shit -
What is your worst project you have worked on ?
Ans) my self, I have worked on CMS project called as Ellis pathway, which is my ever worst project I have worked on. It was developed on the language called omnimark, have you by any chance heard about it ?. Moreover it was used to process XML and the worst nightmare would when XML is 500mb and it is not valid after process. I have spent shit lot of hours fixing XML manually.. I literally fucked my self there. Thank God I somehow managed to quit and move on. -
bitbucket you slow fucking sack of shit, we've confirmed with our remote team members that other people on other networks have it slow as shit too
I really wish we could convince our team to migrate to gitlab or github instead
can't tell if it failed to find the pull request associated with certain commits because it's slow a shit, shit (because it's atlassian bitbucket) or both
there is the small chance that maybe it's just the shit telecom industry in this country too on top of it, but things were acceptable before -
I wish some tube or hose can be stuck inside my asshole so i can put the other end of it in the toilet, that way i could just sit on my chair and not have to get up every 60 minutes to take a big shit. I could just code on my chair while I'm shitting a big shit that goes through the hose and straight into the bathroom. The amount of big shits i shit per day is outrageous. I shit so much. Im the biggest shitter. Im the mfking ShitBeast
5 -
Shit. Today I had to code some required Migration Script for a Client. Deadline tomorrow.
It's nearly finished. But the Last thing isn't working correct.
I'll try to find the bug when I am at Home.
Yeah. I hope I Can find it.
But.. but. The FUCKING TRAIN WAS CANCELLED. SHIT! I have to find the bug you piece of Shit!2 -
Why does scala 2.13 refactored its collection library AGAIN???? It just killed me 1 million brain cells to remember the shit called CanBuildFrom and how can they just threw all the shit away like that?6
-
When one thing append ( girlfriend bios brick ).. all the shit append at the same time ( HDD badsector, production fuk up, migration that work on local not work on production, etc ) this week is shit jezzz4
-
Facing some down - simultaneously somehow as dev and privately.
The dev part partly triggered by another burning project. Our team deep in shit up to the chin... And this unanswerable question: who is to blame? Everyone is working up their arses, but the result is still some sparkling firework ship wreck, that only held together for the demo to the board. It's not that we are stupid or lazy, yet we push some unmaintainable spaghetti, because this shit just gotta work.
Dunno, somehow this object orientation / pattern ideologies were also kind of depressing to me: partly because they smell like attempt to enlighten the inept by stupid receipts - and of course then deep down there's this nagging question if I'm not one of this inept not knowing the newest fashion template from the catalogue..
Then this Clean Code - Craftsmanship shit is bugging me similarly. Liked Robert C. Martin's book, but now I picked up some "Clean C++" and.. I kinda feel dumbed down if they try to sell the KISS principle to a 36 year-old physicist/engineer. Good for them that all our legacy shit und own fuck ups nourish this whole industry of well-meaning advisers. Argh, just fuck it, you priests, sell your obvious calendar mottos elsewhere, they are are just as useful as telling a griever that "rain follows sunshine". - As if they would not some time use the raw pointer that their coworker gave 'em, to ship shit tomorrow? -
Avoid the words blockchain, microsoft, competitive, startup, and equity. This works well for a primary screening. Second at the interview talk to them if they don't know shit either the company is shit or don't give a shit who they hire. Third figure out what you need to make to live without stress, any company that will pay it cares about their employees as long as it's somewhat reasonable
-
Every day has repetition in it of course but why become animatronic dummies ? Literally same shit. Stop doing the same things because I mention that you're all weird mother fuckers that do the same shit ! If that is even the case ! People used to have differing conversations unless they were borinh mudbrick stacking shit covered peasants! At least they built up different behaviors god9
-
I hate how I have battery issues with every smartphone/tablet I buy. They do well for 1 week and then I have to buy an additional charger for work because after 5 hours of only lying there it only has 50% which wouldnt be sufficient for 30 minutes car drive (Maps, Spotify, Bluetooth, GPS and mobile data)... Fml. I am tired of batteries. My next phone is going to be a huawei mate 10. Maybe I habe more luck with this one. I dont believe im Samsung anymore.
And anyway why the fuck do they introduce better CPUs more sensors etc whilst Keeping the battery capacity the same.. Instead they introduce fast charge etc. Another reason for me to go away from samsung is the fact they bloat each firmware up, my battery got worst after each system update (even the security ones) and also doing 14 factory resets didnt work. Support is shit. They also integrated Clean Master into the system and an "Antivirus Protection"... Can't get worst.
samsungrant@devrant.com # > submit && exit
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