The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

My girlfriend saw me coding in XCode.
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Ahmm. Coding.
GF: *saw the colors in every line of code
GF: That's easy. You just need to follow the color pattern. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow.
Me:
Macbook:
XCode:
Charger:

BTW. She's a Preschool Teacher. Hahahaha

Sent intern a regex pattern, mans saw it and thought I had sent him a virus.

4+ years of programming.

Still have no clue how to make my own regex pattern.

Every single time I need to, I always open 4 cheat sheets and/or stackoverflow.

Client: About this QR code for my website, can we change it?
Me: Well we could redirect, but what's wrong with it?
Client: I just dont like the pattern, it's too noisy...
Me: 🙃

The original story:
"When I've got my very first android I was downloading any shit from Play Store. There was app called pattern security or something like that. The app was taking selfies everytime power button was pressed several times and then photo would sent to email. One day I left my old phone at home and at the office this is the photo i've received."

One of my worst meetings, as the sheer rage was unbelievable.

Backstory:
Architect: "Stop duplicating code", "stop copy pasting code", "We need to reuse code more", "We need to look at a new pattern for unit tests" etc.

Meeting:
Architect: What did you want to talk about?

Me: I built a really simple lightweight library to solve a lot of our problems. Its built to make unit testing our code much easier, devs only need to change a small bit of how they work.

Architect: I like the pattern a lot, looks great ... but why a library? can we not just copy the code from project to project?

... do you have a twin or something?

You might have noticed a pattern in my rants

Gahaa!!! Finally back home, after 7 fucking hours of sitting in busses and trains!

BUT I GOT MY NEXUS 6P!! Yoo-hoo!!! :D

And I've got a nice story about it.

So when I bought it, the guy selling it to me was a nontechnical type (I think?) whose wife was the previous owner. So I thought to myself, cool a nontechnical user used it.. probably no hardware mods or anything to worry about. Apparently they even factory reset it for me :)

Now, when I left to go back home, I of course immediately booted up the thing and did the whole doodad of logging into it, setting up the device etc.

Then it struck me. When I booted up the device and wanted to log in, there was a lock from Google that required me to first authenticate as either a previous account of the device, or their unlock pattern. So I figured, eh fuck it, I'll just flash some AOSP without GApps or send the owner an email asking what the previous pattern is.

But I still had to wait 30 minutes at the bus stop so I thought to myself.. previous owner was a nontechnical woman.. maybe I could crack it. No way to know if I don't try. So I started putting in random unlock patterns.

3 attempts later - I shit you not! - pattern accepted.
Do you want to add this account?

Oh boy Google, of course I do! Thanks for letting me in pal!

3 fucking attempts. That's all it took to crack the unlock pattern of an unknown person. 😎

So, my phone's OS has this option for selecting the vibration pattern when my phone rings

I've always had problems getting it right but it's fun when you find the correct pattern

To all the design pattern nazis..

Don't you ever tell me that something is impossible because it violates some design pattern! Those design principles are there to make your life easier, not something you have to obey by law.
Don't get me wrong, you should where ever possible respect those best practices, because it keeps your software maintainable.
But your software should foremost solve real world problems and real world problems can be far more complex than any design pattern could address. So there are cases where you can consciously decide to disregard a best practice in order to provide value to the world.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

Design Pattern at its best!! :D

Cook A:
1 - Makes a soup
2 - Leaves a mess

Company: ☺️ What a nice cook, here's your promotion to senior Cook.

Cook B:
1 - Cleans kitchen
2 - Makes soup
3 - Cleans after themself

Company: 😡 What took you so long!? Cook A made it in 1/3 of the time.

This is the pattern I've seen so far in development... and it's sad

Microsoft announced Visual Studio 2017. Yeah, Party.

I am so hyped, because with it comes C#7.0. I am speaking of tuples, pattern matching and local functions. This will be great. Soon ☺️🎉

Lesson learnt :
Never ever do "rm -rf <pattern>" without doing "ls <pattern>" first.
I had to delete all the contents of my current directory.
I did "rm -rf /*" instead of "rm -rf ./*".

Legends -> I: Interviewer

I: what is mvc architecture

Me: model.. view.. controller... and blah blah

I: mvc is not an architecture.. its a design pattern.. architecture is blah blah

I: srry U r rejected.. god bless you

Me: 😥😢

after 1hr

Me: googled 'Is mvc a design pattern or architectural pattern'

Google: shows stack overflow link

Stackoverflow: mvc is architectural pattern blah blah... accepted answer

Me: hopeless about my future

GOD BLESS THE INTERNET and SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS

*fortunes and tons of research spent on machine learning, signal processing and pattern recognition*

People:

Write comments you dumb fucks.

If you change shit that is different from the original pattern， fucking write a comment.

1 minute vs. 45 minutes you mother fucker.

I think I'm doomed when it comes to posting the kinds of rants that get upvotes. The pattern I've noticed is that profanity-laden rants get more love than ones that are more tame. I was raised old-school, so profanity isn't my thing. Guess I'll just sit back and watch.

Worst error message management.

Can't you just display the valid pattern for an username instead of showing different error message everytime.

If plain ASCII and only letters and numbers same for them, just show only letters and numbers, and
what's that hourly limit.
I just couldn't sign up after wasting time thinking of an username.

!rant

Finally finished the blanket I’ve spent a month crocheting without a pattern after teaching myself to crochet at, like, the beginning of the month. It’s huge (this is it laying on a King sized bed) and I made so many mistakes that seem super obvious now, but I’m still weirdly proud of it.

I'm seeing a pattern here... We devs/testers/sysadmins/etc. don't get to spend too much time outside... We talk about different stuff than most people... We are more intelligent than most people so we don't get their dumb jokes... Most of us like to work at night because that's the time when nobody bothers us...

We don't get a chance to find a girlfriend, we don't understand how it works...

We are doomed

Introducing my everyday weapon against bugs.
Colour pattern to change depending on my mood or my rage against PEBKAC.

My boss knows only one design pattern -
Singleton!

At my previous job a coworker left positive comments alongside any negative ones on my code. “Nice job here. Very clean”, or “nice use of X design pattern here!” Kinda made me look forward to his code reviews.

Procrastinating while waiting for my robot parts to arrive
(The lights make a nice pattern, but I can't upload videos here :()

!rant I think I may have a way smaller head than the pattern I was using seemed to assume. 😅

(Or my stitches got messed up along the way. Either is possible.)

Started with C, then C++...forgot some C. Then on to java forgot some C++, then on to Objective-C, learned some swift...forgot some Objective-C...do you see the pattern. 😎

In an interview, when you throw a simple piece of code to a candidate...

Candidate: ...

ME: (maybe I'm too hard on them)

Candidate: ...

ME: (ok, I definitively have to simplify this little pattern example)

Candidate: ...

ME: ...explaining the short piece of code and give'm the answer

Candidate: haaaaa that's what I was thinking but I used that long time ago...

ME: (Yeah... nice try)

2 days into a new java project and I already miss scala so much.

Splash pages. Remember that crap from 20 years ago? That was a home page with some "click to enter" nonsense to get to the actual home page. Laughably stupid.

Today's empty home pages where you have to scroll down to get to any real content is exactly the same moronic pattern, just by another name: showing off useless design wankery and forcing user interaction to bypass it. Fuck you if you still do that shit.

Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.

I opened a post starting with a "NO TOFU" logo and I was wondering what relationship existed between the SSH protocol and anti-vegan people.

After some paragraphs it explained that TOFU stands for Trust On First Use (a security anti-pattern).

Remember to regularly defragment your drives on linux. use this handy command.

dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sdX bs=1M

Terminology:
dd: Disk defragment
if: input file (the pattern to search for, and should always be /dev/zero)
of: output file (your disk, /dev/sda for instance)
bs: blocsize 1M is fine here

I was MEAN developer and moved to MERN developer.
My thoughts:

Angular very good framework BUT react + redux fucking awesome

Holy Shit! Pattern matching is too awesome.

How could I live before that?

Me: Right, time to sit down and write some code.

Also me: I think I need to try a new IDE to see if that makes me more productive.

Productivity tools are my own productivity anti-pattern...!

C# FTW! New features for C#7.0:
blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/dotnet/2016/08/24/whats-new-in-csharp-7-0/
tuples, pattern matching, local functions *coder-gasm*

Finally had a decent sleeping pattern... Discovered devRant... Hello 3AM old friend.

We have a long time developer that was fired last week. The customer decided that they did not want to be part of the new Microsoft Azure pattern. They didn't like being tied to a vendor that they had little control over; they were stuck in Windows monoliths for the last 20 years. They requested that we switch over to some open source tech with scalable patterns.

He got on the phone and told them that they were wrong to do it. "You are buying into a more expensive maintenance pattern!" "Microsoft gives the best pattern for sustaining a product!" "You need to follow their roadmap for long term success!" What a fanboy.

Now all of his work including his legacy stuff is dumped on me. I get to furiously build a solution based on scalable node containers for Kubernetes and some parts live in AWS Lambda. The customer is super happy with it so far and it deepened their resolve to avoid anything in the "Microsoft shop" pattern. But wow I'm drowning in work.

Found this "new pattern" during refactor old legacy code... I call it "Singlefalse" pattern

Laying next to my snoring wife... My mind is running on what coding her snoring pattern would be like.

Ah.. the beauty of clean code.

I wrote a very cleanly written program two years ago. Proper variable names, not too many, right naming, right design pattern,.. Now I come back to it and I am able to instantly figure out the code again. It only took me half a minute.

The importance of clean code... that's something the industry needs to understand more. Well, then there's the money issue. lol

The boss made us to set a shitty background (pattern) to the website we are working on right now but it looks ugly as hell. I tried to change his mind several times but no, he fucking loves that background.

Someone ask to me as a security engineer.

Bro : what do you think about most secure way to authenticate, i read news using fingerprint no longer safe?
Me : yes they can clone your fingerprint if you take a photo with your fingerprint to camera.
Bro : so what is the other way to authenticate more secure and other people can't see in picture ?
Me : D*ck authentication is more secure now, other people can't see your d*ck pattern right?

How do you lock your phone (or computer)?
- not/swipe
- 3x3 dot connection pattern
- number code
- password
- fingerprint
- FaceID

I was an oilfield machinist for about 10 years. During downtime I'd read blogs and books on my phone. Eventually I wrote an app to manage parts drawings and CNC programs for my shop. Any time I came across a package or pattern I didn't understand I'd pursue it relentlessly. CodeWars and reading other people's code got me a long way. Now I've got a job in silicon valley and things are pretty sweet.

While reviewing a PR from one of our newer FE devs, I ended up spending more time than I would like mulling over its composition. The work was acceptable for the most part; the code worked. The part that got me was the heavy usage of options objects.

When encountering the options object pattern (or anti-pattern, at times) in complex scenarios, I have to resist the urge to stop whatever I'm doing and convert it to the builder pattern/smack them in the head with a software design manual. As much as I would like to, code janitor is one of the least valuable activities I engage in daily, and consistently telling someone to go back to the drawing board for work that is functional, but not excellent is a great way to kill morale. Usually, I'll add a note on the PR, approve it, add a brown bag or two on that sort of thing, and make attendance mandatory for repeat slackers. Skills building and catharsis all rolled up in a tiny ball of investing in your people.

Builders make things so much cleaner; they inform users what actions are available in a context; they tend to be immutable, and when done well, provide an intuitive fluent interface for configuration that removes the guesswork. As a bonus, they're naturally compositional, so you can pass it around and accumulate data and only execute the heavy lifting bits when you need to. As a bonus, with typescript, the boilerplate is generally reduced as well, even without any code generation. And they're not just a dumping ground for whatever shit someone was too lazy to figure out how to integrate into the API neatly.

They're more work in js-land, sure; you can't annotate @builder like with Lombok, but they're generally not all that much work and friendlier to use.

O'joy has come, it is time to make the best if/switch statement...

Worst part I can't see a pattern in this, so I have to hardcode all this shit.
Even worser part, it has to be updated yearly... woop w00p

Look at that. The very fucking smart colleague spent 40 days implementing a repository pattern (WHEN WE'RE USING AN ACTIVE RECORD ORM), breaking stuff left and right. Does he use that fucking pattern at the very least?

Of course he doesn't. And along the way he's making sure to create conflicts with the stuff he broke (and I'm fixing). By the time I fix the merge conflicts of one commit, he pushed 6 of them.

One of my classmates was working on a login form, and the fucker handtyped a 100+ character email validation regex but forgot to add a check to make sure no fields were blank.

It was funny when I was able to create an account with no username, breaking his website, and even funnier when I told him html forms have a built-in email pattern

Every time I rant about JS, I get accused of:
- being a noobie
- not "REALLY" understand JS
- being an incel
- being dumb or low IQ

I'm starting to see a pattern of behavior, similar to the far right or far left political people on Twitter, and highly religious people.
I know, correlation != causation but it makes me think that maybe emotional attachment to ideas is bad for the brain

Why does MS need to be such a scumbag with Windows updates?
Every now and then, this unskipable blue setup screen appears and forces the user to make some decisions.

"Do you want to set Edge as the default browser?"

"Do you want a 360 subscription?"

The usual crap.

But it‘s not skippable!

You have to make a decision and the UI for "fuck off" is different for every decision.

You can‘t just press the Nope button every time.
It‘s fucking deliberate. They want you to spend time on reading their shit and force it down your throat.

And let‘s not forget about people who don‘t know computer stuff very well and are confused by this. Then call us because "the computer isn‘t working again."
And you can‘t tell them to skip this slimy rotten vomit of a marketing weasel because you need them to tell you what the options are for each fucking decision screen.

😫

I've been working on a proof of concept for my thesis for a few days and the async query calls drove me nuts for quite a while. I finally managed to deliver all query results asynchronously while still very much relying on a strong architectural design pattern. I am filled with caffeine, joy and a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Fuck you, insomnia.. You're a bastard.

/(o.o)\

That's it, I don't have enough energy for more. Pretty sure this "sleep every second night" pattern is involved somehow though...

My project wouldn't need a robust backend language, or even a fancy frontend framework...
With unlimited time and money, I would give every child under the sun the opportunity to stay alive, to have no fear of poverty or illness, and to prosper in their own way. Only one design pattern needed: HOPE...

Recently attended a final stage interview. So far probably spent 60% of the time discussing my previous roles/experience - (sigh) Then along comes the "Core Java" questions. FINALLY!! My chance to really shine.

Q: How do you make an object a singleton?

I give my answer, thinking this is the ice breaker question and ready for the next question...

Nope, thats it! Apart from the automated tech test in the previous round, my entire tech ability is measured by whether I can memorise a design pattern!

Patterns. Patterns everywhere.

I started a project at high school 7 years ago, I had no idea what's clean code or design pattern, just learn while keep coding. I eventually stopped because my code is so terrible I cannot understand it anymore.

Now, after 1 year of working, I look back those dirty codes and think it is actually not that bad. Within hours I even fixed a bug with concurrency.

I start to think, instead of learning to how to write good code, maybe I should learn how to read bad code. That's just much more practical.

Perfect error does not ex...

E486: Pattern not found: TODO

Go to interviews. You always learn stuff in any interview. Either be a technology or design pattern or any freaking thing they use there.

Basically 2 things can happen:
you get the job or ... you don't,
either way you will still leave with some extra knowledge.

Also don't be afraid to tell how much money you want to earn. Getting a job ans feeling pissed about the salary is a horrible feeling.

My university alerts all student and staff any time a phishing email is reported. I've yet to attend one class, and I've received a few dozen emails alerting you of phishing emails being sent. It's sad people can't notice the pattern of the emails, and realize right away "Hey this is a bullshit email" and not rely on the alerts.

It's the 21st century; basic computer competency is a necessity.

Why I am fixing bug on Sunday?.
:
:
:
:
Is there any one do that?

Dear companies..

There is a fucking difference between:
-pattern recognition
-machine learning

And
- artificial INTELLIGENCE....

Learning from experience is NOT THE SAME as being able to make conclusions out of unknown conditions and figuring out new stuff without any input.

GodDAMN, C# 7.0 is so ridiculously feature packed. I can pattern-match inside a predicate on an exception filter. Want to catch ONLY NHibernate's exceptions caused by a SQL timeout? Boom:

catch (GenericADOException adoEx) when (adoEx.InnerException is SqlException sqlEx && sqlEx.Number == -2) { return Failure("timeout"); }

When u trynna shift from C coding pattern to pythonic 😊

Dev. policy: The use of SELECT * is forbidden.

Open Data Access Layer > first statement: SELECT * FROM bullshit_table

Actually everything in life is just a pattern

The fact you know some design pattern doesn't mean that you need to force it everywhere.

String username = "Xx_thelegend27_xX";

final Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile("(xx|(_|))(?<username>\\w*)(_|(xx))", Pattern.CASE_INSENSITIVE);
final Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher(username);

if(matcher.matches()){
this.showError(String.format("Your username cannot be that... Try: %s", matcher.group("username")));
}else {
registerOrSomething();
}

!rant

As a programmer I feel that i write instructions for the machine's heartbeat.

Single repetitive pattern to be performed for gazillion number of times.

And all that matters is how that heartbeat goes. As long as this one is fine, the next one should be mostly fine.

This is from a book I'm reading right now! I found it funny :-D

Pattern: What is a chaperone?

Shallan: That is someone who watches two young people when they are together, to make certain they don’t do anything inappropriate

Pattern: Inappropriate? Such as . . . dividing by zero?

I quite like Unity.
It's a good engine, BUT....

I despise doing UI in it, it's just so tedious to make everything work and show up.
In the past I didn't mind but then I learned about XAML in WPF, UWP and Xamarin. XAML works very nice with the MVVM pattern (even if you do that lazily) with the data binding.

So now I'm working on my own data binding, which is both fun and saddening (because it's not in there already)

When you have high pattern recognition but get rudely ignored until the problem you warned about becomes a very serious issue days later 😪🙄

Fuck I'm so tired of feeling like the only one trying to stave off bad practice sometimes 🫠

🙃

i've never earned more in my life

i've never been more bored in my life

...is this a pattern?

pls halp

Just "learned" that Singleton is a good design pattern with no disadvantages. And in MVC the model should be a singleton.

FML :^)

Weekly Group Rant suggestion: What anti-pattern exists that still keeps being propagated or infecting other areas of your code base (like a virus)?

Code samples/screen-shots required.

The most used design pattern...

Just got rejected for an internship because of my architecture pattern. Learnt an entirely new framework and deployed an API in a week. Sigh

Edit:
Was at a college level. Not completed my bachelor's yet.

monkay brain.

see pattern: solve.
no see pattern: monkey scream.

After few years of coding php, I finally REALLY get the mvc pattern. Never gonna write crappy code again.

I posted one for work already but this little guy sits on my desk at home.

Meet Donkey, he's 32 years old and suffers from male pattern baldness. My mom made him for me when I was 2 years old (thus the odd name I gave him) and he's been with me ever since.

a lot of devs just don't have the first clue of what they are doing

they haven't put in the work

they'll blame absolutely everything else (language, framework, pattern, etc.) instead of actually putting in the work and making it easier for themselves

sad

If I uncheck the "stay signed in" checkbox on login, don't have it checked when I need to sign in again. Especially, don't do that and make me sign in ten times when I'm just navigating your page.

Try to avoid making the website for people like yourself, because not everyone is stupid.

Do you use the well known "pattern" for positioning fingers on the keyboard for faster typing, or you just came up with your own "pattern" as time passed?

There should be an open source, Linux based Printer operating system. Like OpenWRT for routers, also works with almost every device in the wild.

This would be such a relief for everyone. Come on, most printer firmwares are crap.

Remember Scannergate? Yep, the one about professional xerox scanners changing numbers in scanned document. Went unnoticed for 8 years and affected almost every workcenter even in the highest compression setting. Just because they wanted to save a few bytes by using pattern matching.

On Friday I was planning on working on getting the MVVM pattern down in C# and WPF. Today I watched episodes of Smallville all day. I seem to have a lack of motivation, but I guess it is the weekend. 😜

I feel like I'm too stupid to understand the Redux pattern. It makes me want to quit programming.

Why do most apps have a password reset page that redirects to a mobile site ?

Why not give them a code they can enter into the app which would then show a password reset page within the app or a link which opens the page within the app.

Isn't it good practice to keep the user within the app?

Isn't it better to serve a token than serve an entire html webpage for the server.

I've been thinking about this but 90% people follow the website pattern and Idk why. Am I missing something ?

Please fill me in on it. (Even devrant uses the same pattern)

OMFG HOW CAN SOMEONE FUCK A PROJECT SO HARD IN TWO WEEKS???

I struggled for 6 months to keeps a minimal pattern and logic throughout the project between tight deadlines and changed scopes, but in two weeks they managed to literally shit on top of it and now I have to fix this bullshit?

Oh boy...I really don't know if I fucking scream, punch someone or rage quit.

So I was excited about working on a proyect I recently was invited to work on, but when I finally got my hands on the code I felt this urge to scream "YOU FUCKER!!!" (the dev responsible for the code)

Fun fact:

The gradual speed increase in the descent pattern of the aliens in space invaders was actually a bug, due to the amount of aliens in the screen.

The more you kill, the faster they get.

My fucking internet went off and was so slow that even ssh resetted me, fucking thanks. And it was the same typical pattern again: turn off, turn on, kbps speed, wait ~30/50 minutes and then again fullspeed, fucking cuntbags stop fucking fingerbanging the ethernet ports - I need to get shit done.

Time for a full refactor. Everyone can go home for three days while I unfuck every page and pattern.

Forced choice between two options which both seemingly have irreversible and potentially destructive consequences. Tapping back or outside the modal doesn't dismiss it. No 'Read more' type link for the first option.

Laws and regulations against dark pattern design when?

edit: okay the readmore link is passable but I still want to be grumpy about it.

I'm starting to love pattern matching in #Elixir

I'm currently learning design pattern and was looking to understand the basic difference between Factory and Abstract Factory patterns. So the latter is typically used as a factory to procude factories...

In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.

Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!

!rant
...i realized i can actually pattern-match like this (as in, sequence of elements (including "whatever") instead of just head::rest in F#...

...from watching a talk about prolog.

like "wait... prolog can do this when pattern-matching? that seems very useful. i think i tried to do that in F# but it didn't work, which seems stupid... I'm gonna go try it again".

and sure enough =D
i think i really am gonna like F# if i find the time and resolve to break through how its different mode of thinking stretches my brain in ways it hasn't been stretched for a long time =D

Interviewer: Could you please make a class to force it create one instance at most?
Me: Sure!
(I didn't know the singleton pattern)

class A {
public static bool isCreated = false;
A() {
if(isCreated == true)
throw new Exception();
isCreated = true;
}
}

The more the code looks like a pattern the worse it feels.

Well, I only worked with two designers so far. The first one was incredibly competent and a nice guy. The second one however...not so much.

He wanted me to change the background of his website to a specific pattern. It was a pattern that easily could have been used as repeated background.

So I asked for a single pattern in PNG format.

Guy refuses to give it to me and forces me to use a 4k image as background.

BOI WHAT

PAGESPEED LITERALLY RATES THE SITE 30/100 BECAUSE THE IMAGE TAKES SO FUCKING LONG TO LOAD
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

Nowadays apps have more permissions than parents...

Technology sick!

Callum, not everything is a "useless fad" just because you don't like it. I understand that you think AWS lambda functions are "just an expensive con for morons", but for our batch processing use case they really do make a lot of sense.

Running some numbers to show they cost 10x more for a completely unrelated always-on service with a completely different request pattern is either naive, stupid, or malicious, and considering you're meant to be a principle architect, I'm really not sure what's worse 🤦‍♂️

Haha I started to read some programming books (want to get better in pattern designs, etc) and now I am dreaming code for 3 days in a row. Maybe I shloud stop? Fml

Today was a bad dev day working on a shitty React project. Not that React in itself is bad, but it can be hell to work with when the code is a big pile a crap full of anti pattern code. I spent the day refactoring to try to fix a bug, but to no avail. It would take days if not weeks to put some order in this mess and to prevent such bugs.

Microsoft.Graph has filtering capabilities for dates, which is great.

Format is: "2018-04-12T12:00:00Z"

Doesn't natively support string conversion of a DateTime to match the pattern... Nor does Graph accept any date formats such as the "s" parameter for sortable dates, which goes into milliseconds, etc.

DateTime.ToString("derp");

Sometimes I wish I was a Java Dev.

1st day of the job tomorrow.

Tried to reset my (broken) sleep pattern by going to bed earlier and getting up at half 5, which is the time I'll need to get up. In typical fashion, I just didn't sleep. I just laid there with my eyes closed. This has happened before, so I know what will happen - no sleep again tomorrow and I start my first day after being awake for ~48hrs...

Fuck you, insomnia.

Fucking Edge forcing itself onto me after Windows update by displaying annoying dark pattern like fullscreen popups and putting itself into the task panel.
FUCKING GO AWAY you piece of shit! Nobody wants you!
Do I have an OS or fucking malware on my pc?

"The MVC framework is just a hype, we dont need to refactor our ASP.NET webshop" - former CTO

Dudeee, its a pattern not a framework, ever heard of 'single responsibily' instead of these monolithic 8000 line helper classes!

My reaction when I meet peopel that still don't use any Architecture/Design Pattern to code.

What is yours?

Jesus fuck. Why does anyone thing you need a factory pattern when you have only one single class you create...

Does anyone have a true measure to recruit freshly graduated? yesterday I had a technical interview with a candidate, the problem is he didn't know even the basic of coding in Java, like String equality and hashcode, he also didn't have a solid understanding of basic design pattern. But what made me want to give him a chance is that he seemed highly motivated and eager to learn. So I don't know what to do guys?

After a code review where I identified an odd way a request was being generated, I suggested to the developer to utilize the Strategy pattern.
Knowing that the Strategy pattern probably wouldn't make sense in the current context, I told him I would put an example together by the end of the day.

I throw something together, sent it to him.

Go to the restroom, come back and 'Bob' says..

Bob:"There is my hero. Justin said you saved the world again. What was it this time? World hunger? Global warming? Ha ha ha."

Frack off you condescending kiss ass. Why don't you take 5 minutes to listen and understand the problem Justin was having instead of making fun of him?
Yea, I heard you this morning laughing at his code, monday-morning quarterbacking a solution in which you have no idea whats going on.

Heard your days are numbers anyway. Good riddance.

To bug: I created you and only I can fix you with less hurt to others, don't tell anyone.

I've been on holiday for almost 2 months now... I don't even know what a sleeping pattern is anymore😭😭

I have school tomorrow... I'll look like a zombie during orientation😂

What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.

One of my favorite patterns in Java ✨

@highlight
public interface SocketOptions {

}

public enum UnixSocketOptions implements Options {
FOOBAR,
DAVE,
}

Just implemented a feature using Builder pattern .
State of mind : aaaghh fuck this shit , i am in hell . let's get some rest before integrating and testing this disaster

after some rest , while integrating " Oh you beauty my past self, i love you😍😍😍😍

Regex are one of the finest art piece in software.

Had a 2 hour class and even after that I think you can spend months on mastering it.

It's not something I haven't used but we undermine whole beauty of how random characters can form formula and extract complicated pattern.

Kleene we owe you.

"The way to 'get your name out there' is to establish a pattern of excellent work and a reputation for integrity over several years. " - Andy Rutledge

Proactively seeking out new knowledge: mostly podcasts and watching what's new on github.

keeping an open mind: just because some pattern is industry proven doesn't mean its necessarily the better,

Testing: write a test describing a problem then trying to write slightly different solutions (eg. One that leverages service location, another that emphasize dependency injection..),

Forced & timed breaks: keep hydrated, don't get stuck "spinning the wheel".. :)

When you're working on a project and and face a task you solved like 1000 times before so you decide to bring some fresh wind and implement a fancy design pattern... and it works with the first compile!! *badass meme* ( someone send me one I dont have)

man I wish someone had taught me composite pattern earlier.

There is a type of programming. Try all possible variants of code. Stop when it's working.

2 job offers on table.

One, where I'd to work on multiple technologies, comfortable timing i.e 6 - 7 hours a day. Enough time to do personal projects.

Other, I'd to work on single technology stack, but more complex and large projects. Good for architectural and design pattern knowledge. Better pay, but stressing work hours like 8-10 hours daily. Might be on weekends as well.

Help me out!

With unlimited time, I'd put resources into the invention/improvement of a container which can be fed photons and is able to bounce them between mirrors for a long time, like days, and can be released at any time.

With that tech, I would build a delayed choice quantum eraser and set it up so that it produces with many photons an interference pattern or strips pattern by choice, representing a bit of information.

Then i would set up many of those devices in a row so that the results are representing bit strings for arbitrary information.

And I will use this time machine, which can send back information, to win the lottery and other stuff.

I'm a strong believer in the triple-A unit-test pattern: Arrange, Act and Assert

Anyone else that uses this for their tests? Do you see any cons to using this approach to writing tests? Are you using an alternative?

On my first day at new job, a non-technical person used CQRS word while explaining the system. When I asked what's need of such a complex pattern for simple query type service, he simply backed off. 😝

I feel like there is a pattern going on with stupid-ass recruiters, so let's fix it.

if(person.getJob() === 'Recruiter') {
person.insertIdea(Sex.FEMALE, Ability.CAN_FUCKING_PROGRAM);
//stupid shitheads
}

What's a design pattern

Open for all.
Below are 4 sets of numeric data. Each set carries two numeric strings. Each occur in a pattern and each set below are n'th terms of the pattern. Each set equals to the value 50. The value of 50 can be obtained from either the first or the second string or even both.
Find a next term or even a n'th term of the pattern.
sets -
{ 738548109958, 633449000001000435 } , { 667833743011, 65173000001000838 } , { 314763556877, 652173000001000685 } , { 332455491545 , 65216100000100411 }
You will be rewarded
You will not fail

I remember the day when I was in first year college. We were tasked to make a c++ program that will print a diamond pattern. Didn't know that you could achieve that with for loops.
What I did?
A hard coded one.
What I got?
An F

Documentation is an anti-pattern

The sleeping pattern of common people vs. A programmer’s

today's lesson:
one does not simply open a new window with mvvm pattern

Brought to you from the 5000+ line Java file. Contained within the 1500 line method. I bring you the following pattern. Let's guess all the ways we could've done this better?
- Streams
- For loop
- Iterator
What gets really fun is when this you get this pattern doubly nested so you have a random i's and j's floating all over the place.

Note: this isn't ancient code it was developed about 3 months ago.

[Code has been lightly anonymized]

In one of my previous jobs. There are some scripts programmed by people that seems to don't know what a function is. It was a fractal of replicated if else code. Every half of the code is almost identical to the other one except for a simple things. Then if you see each half you can see the same pattern again and so on. Files like that are about 50.000 lines long. If you blame it, you see mostly the usernames of current managers. If that is not enough, it was written in perl

Some old cool warning:
"class X' only defines private constructors and has no friends"
(using a singleton pattern implementation)

Little known "Achievement" on Google Play Games:
1)Open Play Games.
2)Swipe the screen anywhere in this pattern - Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right. This reveals the classic keypad.
3)Click the buttons in this order EXACTLY - B, A, Play button.
4)Thank me later.

Today ... Like other day i wake up. And go satisfy all the need of my client in the chat .. and remove what i made and unmade and made and unmade and made and change color and more at left and more at top add padding bottom and unmade and made and save and clear cache and unmade and clear cache and made and change color.

You see the shiti pattern now

😒😒😒😒😔😔😔😔😑

For today I had to implement a Strategy Pattern solution for dynamically loading items in a view. So, I came in the morning and started doing it, finally after some time I acomplished it, with one strategy, so when I started implementing the other ones, everything went to crap so I thought "Okay, lets checkout to how it was on the morning, just to realize I leaved yesterday without commiting.

I wanna kill someone

Hello everyone, I would like to create a native desktop application on Linux, which language/gui framework would you suggest to me, knowing that I have been working as a Web developer all my life?
I tried Javafx, but I don't like that very much, is really confusing and requires a lot of boilerplate, I use to work with visual studio, so a drag and drop visual editor to create a gui, that was easy.
I tried electron, but I don't really like it.
The main problem I am facing is adapt a pattern like mvc to desktop app, and share data between scene.
I would love to use flux pattern.
Any tutorial suggestions?

Can any one explain to me the mvvm pattern ?

lel just noticed a pattern here:

if someone asks newbie questions on devrant about anything - gets shat on

but if that person asks about react - its all roses and rainbows

i say there's a new cult in town and theyre recruiting!

A highly efficient reusable pattern declaration and parsing engine.

@dfox
I recently posted a rant containing the tag "$" (php, you know).

But if I search rants with the search pattern "$", the search returns no results.

I guess this has something todo with $ as a special character ;)

Is it a bug or is it a feature? *g*

Having just been let go from a job I couldn't keep up with, I'm now confronted with a job search where every job description includes something like, "Must be able to multi-task across dozens of different projects per day as if you were six people in one."

I'm seeing a pattern here. Apparently, the productivity of only one person is all that is needed to run an entire department's worth of work.

I wrote some code in a different pattern than that was seen in the project. Got positive comments, but the senior said that as per the project rules you are not supposed to write like this.
So ended up writing some duplicate code but somehow it incorporates my pattern and existing project rules.

Should I be happy or sad?

we have 4 options when come to Windows 10 development
+ Windows 32 API
+ WPF
+ WinForm
+ UWP
the best performance would be Windows 32 API but really painful when maintaining
but game like League Of Legends have complex logic still accomplish so I think they also create their own OOP pattern

Integrating a modern JavaScript framework into an existent, large sized MVC project is really a pain in the ass...

If you have 5 classes using the same postfix... and inside, 4 methods en each, called EXACTLY THE SAME... Please, create at least an abstract class!! or else next week you'll have to make the EXACT same change 5 times!!! or more!!... I don't know man! just saying... Patterns exist for a reason!

Today we're going over a list of mouth breathers that I strongly dislike.

- people that don't turn their turn signal on until they've basically come to a complete stop.
- people who can't follow the pattern in grocery stores. THERE ARE FUCKING STICKERS ON THE FLOOR. FOLLOW THE FUCKING PATTERN.
- people that post on a forum and then never respond to the replies on their posts

TeamLeader : "Come two seconds"

TL : "I'd like you to check that out when you do that"

Me: "But it's your job to do this"

TL: "Yeah, but I'd like you to just check in case I forgot"

THEN DO YOUR FKING TASK PROPERLY WHATS THE POINT IF YOU FORGOT AND I DO IT

Edit my english sucks

Who actually started the reign of mixed character passwords? because seriously it sucks to have an unnecessarily complex password! Like websites and apps requesting passwords to contain Upper/Lower case letter, numeric characters and symbols without considering the average user with low memory threshold (i.e; Me).

Let's push the complaint aside and return back to the actual reason a complex password is required.

Like we already know; Passwords are made complex so it can't be easily guessed by password crackers used by hackers and the primary reason behind adding symbols and numbers in a password is simply to create a stretch for possible outcome of guesses.

Now let's take a look into the logic behind a password cracker.

To hack a password,
1) The Password Cracker will usually lookup a dictionary of passwords (This point is very necessary for any possible outcome).
2) Attempts to login multiple times with list of passwords found (In most cases successful entries are found for passwords less than 8 chars).
3) If none was successful after the end of the dictionary, the cracker formulates each password on the dictionary to match popular standards of most website (i.e; First letter uppercase, a number at the end followed by a symbol. Thanks to those websites!)
4) If any password was successful, the cracker adds them to a new dictionary called a "pattern builder list" (This gives the cracker an upper edge on that specific platform because most websites forces a specific password pattern anyway)

In comparison:
>> Mygirlfriend98##
would be cracked faster compared to
>> iloveburberryihatepeanuts

Why?
Because the former is short and follows a popular pattern.

In reality, password crackers don't specifically care about Upper-Lowercase-Number-Symbol bullshit! They care more about the length of the password, the pattern of the password and formerly used entries (either from keyloggers or from previously hacked passwords).

So the need for requesting a humanly complex password is totally unnecessary because it's a bot that is being dealt with not another human.

My devrant password is a short story of *how I met first girlfriend* Goodluck to a password cracker!

Is noop actually a user, or is she someone's "second ++"? I noticed a pattern in her behavior, that she always ++'d my rants right after {she256}5d106eb069.

I shall delay your PR with my giant egotistical scrotum by:

- Use less words for your function name

- Use this obscure pattern you have not learnt in your outdated compsci degree

- Each loop should get their own function

- Your function has too many parameters

- You must name every instance of magic numbers / strings

- Here, have another obscure test case to write

The builder pattern sucks shit.

There I said it.

I am just an Observer<ofTheUniverse>.....
.
.
.
Civil war begins....
credits: @code_mouse

Do you usually spend some of your time learning new programming language/pattern/technology? I mean, I am not the type of person who does same thing over and over again, also like learning new things (I spend a lot of time per month studying new things), trying to get experience and trying new technics, but other side of me thinks that I need to be the best in one of them... My mind flashes blue screen of death sometimes when I am thinking about this...

1. Teach DS and Algos. Not basics but advanced data structures and the ones that are recently published.
2. DBMS should show core underlying concepts of how queries are executed. Also, what data structures are used in new tech.
3. Teach linkers, compliers and things like JIT. Parsers and how languages have implemented X features.
4. Focus on concept instead of languages. My school has a grad course for R and Java. (I can get that thing from YouTube !!)
5. Focus a little on software engineering design pattern.
6. It's a crime to let a developer graduate if he doesn't know GIT or any version control. Plus, give extra credits for students contributing to open source. Tell them if they submit a PR you get good grades. If that PR gets merged bonus (straight A may be ?)
7. Teach some design pattern and how industry write code. I am taking up a talk at school to explain SOLID design pattern.

Mostly make them build software!
Make them write code!
Make them automate their homeworks!

Make them an educated and employable student.!

Internship Memories (cause currently jobless!)
My GM (who is the same as PM) used to bring website projects with only details given from the client is the website name!

So what about the content?

GM: Google it.

So any particular design pattern?

GM: Just find a suitable theme from theme forest.

Now as a developer, how I'm supposed to get content and design? Suppose I got it, but how can I get related materials?

Thank god I left as soon as my internship was over.

My first ever system... It was bad, no coding standards, no reusing, no pattern, no nothing. I really don't know how I managed to make it work.

Using a 3rd part library to manage drag/drop in wpf and then have to use router events because it doesn't natively manage commanding for mvvm pattern, then you write a commanding behaviour which works perfectly for everything else except drag drop because it's not part of the visual tree so binging is a nightmare!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

!rant
TL;DR: Can anyone recommend or point at any resources which deal with best practices and software design for non-beginners?

I started out as a self-taught programmer 7 years ago when I was 15, now I'm computer science student at a university.
I'd consider myself pretty experienced when it comes to designing software as I already made lots of projects, from small things which can be done in a week, to a project which i worked on for more than a year. I don't have any problems with coming up with concepts for complex things. To give you an example I recently wrote a cache system for an android app I'm working on in my free time which can cache everything from REST responses to images on persistent storage combined with a memcache for even faster access to often accessed stuff all in a heavily multithreaded environment. I'd consider the system as solid. It uses a request pattern where everthing which needs to be done is represented by a CacheTask object which can be commited and all responses are packed into CacheResponse objects.

Now that you know what i mean by "non-beginner" lets get on to the problem:

In the last weeks I developed the feeling that I need to learn more. I need to learn more about designing and creating solid systems. The design phase is the most important part during development and I want to get it right for a lot bigger systems.
I already read a lot how other big systems are designed (android activity system and other things with the same scope) but I feel like I need to read something which deals with these things in a more general way.

Do you guys have any recommended readings on software design and best practices?

Eureka! I have done it! I have written a program that will replace 80% of programmers with an AI!

The approach is to use grammar identification with language heuristics to recognize solution patterns using multilayered neural networks. The code source uses trusted pattern samples that are scored by human programmers. The code is programmed using text duplication and placement from the trusted sources.

TLDR: Uses pattern matching to copy and paste from Stack Overflow.

Discovered this weak a breaking flaw in the micro-service pattern.

I don't have enough screens.

Do I see a pattern or just inkblots... and a sign to see a psych?

The eggs have to make a symmetrical pattern in the box otherwise something doesn't feel right.

They used to do boxes of 15, which worked perfectly. Now it's either 6 or 12, both of which potentially require you to adjust the number of eggs you eat to get a symmetrical pattern.

It is both necessary and sufficient that the number of holes in the egg box should be an odd number.

Nine and fifteen work really well. All the other odd numbers are either too big, or negative, or prime, which would be impractical.

Am I the only one who will spend half an hour reading through the "top all-time rants" section of devRant to figure out why they're so popular? I just can't shake that feeling that there's some sort of pattern there that I can optimize...

Guess I must be a developer, given that last statement :D

Theregister.com is wrestling with gpus that need 700 Watts of juice and how to cool them. 50 years ago I was reading an excellent magazine called "Electronics". And I remember that IBM came up with a scheme to absorb enormous amounts of heat from chips. You simply score the underside of the chip in a grid pattern and pump water through it. Hundreds of watts per degree Celsius can be removed. Problem solved.

Need to use new module or pattern:

1. Read the online documentation
2. Have no fu*kin clue what I just read
3. Try for 2 hours and fail.
4. Go home and sleep
5. Wake up at 3am from a fever dream with the solution to the problem
6. Go to work and implement it in 10 min

I guess I learn when I sleep

It's sort of two separate projects although they are very tightly related.

The first is a pattern combination library and parsing engine. It takes a superficially similar approach to Regex or parser combinators, but with some important underlying differences.

The second is a specialized (not turing complete) language for rapidly defining full language grammars and parsers/lexers for those languages.

is it ok if im the only person who codes an android app and i code it by my own free will and skills?

meaning im not following any design pattern while doing so.

i dont like following design pattern because it narrows down my freedom of writing code the way i want to write it.

its like, imagine, you have a strict schedule or a dad who says at:

5:59am: get up
7:15am: study
9:01am: eat breakfast
11:00am: go to college
3:07pm: eat lunch
5:14pm: come home
8:02pm: eat dinner
9:00pm: brush your teeth
10:58pm: go to bed
11:59pm: you must sleep before midnight

IMAGINE THAT. be honest, could you actually follow this schedule in its exact hour and minute as it was written down for the rest of your life every day, no exceptions?

if you're a sane person, you would answer - no, of fcking course not.

life is much more broader and dynamic than following a static pattern every day forever.

so is not following a static design pattern while coding an app.

Please add a `git log --grep=<pattern>` functionality to *devrant* ! Please. (Thanks in advance!)

I see bad data and thought to myself, "I'll be able to fix this with a simple regex." A month later, I'm still finding new data patterns. Never give users the ability to store all of their data in a huge textarea box where they can make stuff up.

When you make up a fictions design pattern name to see if your architect is paying attention.

Hmmm, so you’ve used the DAO pattern everywhere so you’re not coupled to a particular database, but you don’t mind having 8 lines of Hibernate annotations at the start of an entity class, and 2-3 annotations on every property.
I see...

Had to factory reset my phone as I added a pattern password. I used that password all day and right I as am getting ready for bed, I FORGET IT!! Stupid me did not put on USB debugging and I am like... Seriously!!