"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far the universe is winning." ~~ Rick Cook

This guy single handedly explained GANs back in 90s and nobody noticed

Commented code be like..

Kids use "if(condition)"
Men use "if(condition == true)"
Legends use "if((condition == false) == false)"

Java for windows

Typing "vim" instead of "vi"
Typing with 25wpm by looking at keyboard
Using mouse for copy/paste

I present to you,
The "Ruby on Roads"

Don't ask for docs tho, its not documented yet

Me: I'm quite good at C programming language
Also me: Checks man page for library functions' information

Dear code,
Please get refactored yourself
Thanks

Ever heard of this custom ROM called Unleash-OS ?
Well if you've not, you're doing really well in your life. If you're happy, you can scroll away right now.

And in case you want to test strength of your happiness.
Just see here :
https://github.com/Unleash-OS/...

If you still are happy, you're pretty damn happy person. If you're not well I'm sorry, it'll just take you 10 minutes to recover.

The reason why I ranted about this is that I want everyone to be sane and NEVER do some shit like this.

Peace !

!rant
*opens devRant*
*checks the profile*
*sees an 8digit number in ++*
*HOLY SHIT DUDE, DID I CROSS linuxxx ?*
*checks his profile*
*sad realisation that ++ are now binary*

!rant

I met my old school friends today. One of them was apparently showing off his programming skills too much(let's call him X). So much that he(friend X) was comparing Linus Torvalds with himself. And he was telling us that Linux is best because there are so many DEs and customisations and blah blah.

So one of my other friend Y(who's not into computers much) asked him to install Ubuntu on his laptop while we were sitting in cafe.(Y wants to play with command line mainly this semester according to him) So he started complaining that he does not have ISO with him and trying to avoid it.

I said I have kubuntu iso he can flash it right away. Then he(X) said "Kubuntu is too complex for him(Y)".(me in mind : " yeah, just because its a. DE, it becomes complex") So I searched in my phone (faked the search, basically renamed kubuntu iso to Ubuntu iso lol) and gave him " Ubuntu " iso

And this "pro developer" installed that on his laptop and after installation was completed he said that "OMG DUUUDE UNITY IS DEAD, EVEN UBUNTU SWITCHED TO KDE AS DEFAULT DESKTOP ENVIRONMENT, ITS COOL".

FFS

Do you want to enable sticky keys ?

In case you and your friend are bored,
Here's how to have fun :
0)Have Linux installed
1)Grab as many monitors as possible me( and my friends connected 4)
2)Open a shell
3)Drag it all the way across all your screens width (basically open a terminal of width 4 screens in my case)
4)Run "sl"

Profit.

I can't really show how it looked like because it's a long video and can't attach here
Do try it out though.

Can't think of a good caption. Suggestions are welcome.

!rant
A rather long(it's 8 hrs long to be precise) story

So I just finished an amazing homework assignment. The goal was to open a new shell on Linux using a C program. We were asked to follow instructions from http://phrack.org/issues/49/14.html . However the instructions given were for 32 bit processors and we had to do same for 64 bit machines. In a nutshell we had to write a 64 bit shell code and use buffer-overflow technique to change the return address if the function to our shell code.

I was able to write my own shellcode within 1hr and was able to confirm that it's working by compiling with nasm and all. Also the "show-off-dev" inside me told me to execute "/bin/bash" instead of "/bin/sh"(which everyone else was going to do). After my assembly code was properly executing shellcode, I was excited to put it in my C code.
For that, I needed opcodes of assembly code in a string. Following again the "show-off-dev" inside me, I wrote a shell script which would extract the exact opcodes out of objdump output. After this I put it in my C code, call my friend and tell him that "hell yeah bro, I did it. Pretty sure sir is gonna give me full marks etc etc etc". I compiled the code and BOOM, IT SEGFAULTS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND. Worst, friend had copied a "/bin/sh" code from shellstorm and already had it working.

Really burned my ego, I sat continuously for 8 hrs in front of my laptop and didn't talk to anyone. I was continuously debugging the code for 8 hrs. Just a few minutes ago, I noticed that the shellcode which I'm actually putting in my C code is actually 2 bytes shorter than actual code length. WHAT THE F. I ran objdump manually and copied the opcodes one by one into the string (like a noob) and VOILA ! IT WORKED !!!

TURNS OUT I DIDN'T CUT THE LAST COLUMN OF OPCODES IN MY SHELL SCRIPT. I FIXED THAT AND IT WORKED !!
THE SINGLE SHITTY NUMBER MADE ME STRUGGLE 8 HRS OF MY LIFE !! SMH

Lessons learnt :
1)Never have such an ego that makes you think you're perfect, cuz you're retarded not perfect
2)Examine your scripts properly before using them
3)Never, I repeat NEVER!! brag about your code before compiling and testing it.

That's it!
If you've read this long story, you might as well press the "++" button.

This is what happens in Indian Redmi Note 4 chats.

Mido is blek (Redmi note 4(mido) is black)
Kenzo is Kenzur (Redmi note 3(kenzo) is cancer)
Wen I ask for help (When I ask for help)
Devs gib no answer (Developers give no answer)
Ware is BHOLTE (Where is (Jio) VoLTE)
Ur ROME is folty (Your (custom) ROM is faulty)

RIP to people who died reading this.

>Be active on telegram
>Be a part of Android ROM building chat
>Sees a noob begging for free server to build ROMs
>Everybody thinks he's a troll and ignores
>Dude PM's me for a free server
>I tell him that admins have free server so PM them
>Dude PM's literally every admin of that chat
>Dude gets gbanned instantly lolol

Am I evil ?

When you upstream your android kernel without any merge conflicts

Lesson learnt :
Never ever do "rm -rf <pattern>" without doing "ls <pattern>" first.
I had to delete all the contents of my current directory.
I did "rm -rf /*" instead of "rm -rf ./*".