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-
Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I repeat
Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I think we have a problem here.
*music intensifies*11 -
😎 = me, 💩 = client
💩: "I must emphasize that I'm on a tight schedule. I need this done in 2 weeks."
😎: I cut some features and take the job.
As agreed, I send a progress report at the end of the week to get feedback.
💩: *nothing*
😎: He must be busy... I'll call him if he doesn't reply in a few days.
💩: *doesn't answer call*
😎: Time running out, still no feedback, I assume everything is fine and finish it a day before the deadline. Suddenly:
💩: "Hi, how's the project going?"
😎: "...good... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???"
💩: "Oh, I went on a quick vacation"
😎: *wants to die a quick and painless death*
"There's only like a day left..."
💩: "Right... Soo, here's the feedback you asked for"
*dumps 4 paragraphs of stupid nitpicking on me (rants following)*
😎: *wants client to die a slow and painful death*13 -
Googles best javascript framework.
1st link: react is the best one.
Me: Ignore
2nd link: Angular is the best one.
Me: ignore.
.
.
.
8th link: Vue is the best one.
Me: I knew it.18 -
When you decide to use a model for an engineering picture this is what happens. (Look at her hand)
26 -
PHP 🐘 is so damn easy to learn, run straighforward in all OSs, that anyone can start coding in no time. Therefore, the amount of crap code around, made by unskilled devs, is just *unbelievable*. 💩
18 -
!rant
I was in a hostel in my high school days.. I was studying commerce back then. Hostel days were the first time I ever used Wi-Fi. But it sucked big time. I'm barely got 5-10Kbps. It was mainly due to overcrowding and download accelerators.
So, I decided to do something about it. After doing some research, I discovered NetCut. And it did help me for my purposes to some extent. But it wasn't enough. I soon discovered that my floor shared the bandwidth with another floor in the hostel, and the only way I could get the 1Mbps was to go to that floor and use NetCut. That was riskier and I was lazy enough to convince myself look for a better solution rather than go to that floor every time I wanted to download something.
My hostel used Netgear's routers back then. I decided to find some way to get into those. I tried the default "admin" and "password", but my hostel's network admin knew better than that. I didn't give up. After searching all night (literally) about how to get into that router, I stumbled upon a blog that gave a brief info about "telnetenable" utility which could be used to access the router from command line. At that time, I knew nothing about telnet or command line. In the beginning I just couldn't get it to work. Then I figured I had to enable telnet from Windows settings. I did that and got a step further. I was now able to get into the router's shell by using default superuser login. But I didn’t know how to get the web access credentials from there. After googling some and a bit of trial and error, I got comfortable using cd, ls and cat commands. I hoped that some file in the router would have the web access credentials stored in cleartext. I spent the next hour just using cat to read every file. Luckily, I stumbled upon NVRAM which is used to store all config details of router. I went through all the output from cat (it was a lot of output) and discovered http_user and http_passwd. I tried that in the web interface and when it worked, my happiness knew no bounds. I literally ran across the floor screaming and shouting.
I knew nothing about hiding my tracks and soon my hostel’s admin found out I was tampering with the router's settings. But I was more than happy to share my discovery with him.
This experience planted a seed inside me and I went on to become the admin next year and eventually switch careers.
So that’s the story of how I met bash.
Thanks for reading!10 -
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail!
This was something which my tech lead used to tell me when I was so obsessed with nosql databases a few years back. I would try to find problems to solve that has a use case for nosql databases or even try to convince me(I didn’t realise it back then) that I need to use nosql db for this new idea that I have, without really thinking deep enough whether the data in question is better represented using an sql schema or not.
Now, leading a team of young developers, I come across similar suggestions from few of my team members who just discovered this new and shiny tech and want to use it in production projects.
While I am not against new and shiny, it’s not a good practice to jump right in to it without exploring it deep enough or considering all the shortcomings. The most important question to ask is, whether some of the problems you are trying to solve can be solved with the current stack.
Modifying your stack requires more than just a week’s experience of playing around with the getting started guide and stack overflow replies. This is something which need to be carefully considered after taking inputs from the people who would be supporting it, that include operations, sysadmins and teams that are gonna interface with your stack indirectly.
I am not talking about delaying adoption by waiting for long list of approvals to get some thing that would bring immediate value, but a carefully orchestrated plan for why and how to migrate to a new stack.
Just because one of the tech giants made a move to a new stack and wrote about it in their engineering blog doesn’t mean that you need to make a switch in the same direction. Take a moment to analyse the possible reasons that motivated them to do it, ask yourself if your organisation is struggling with the exact same problems, observe how others facing the same issue are addressing it, and then make an informed decision.
Collect enough data to support your proposal.
Ask yourself again if you are the one holding the hammer.
If the answer is no, forge ahead!
9 -
Website Intro: Hello! I'm here to tell you how my life changed since I learned to build websites and became independent blah blah blah
Me: Cool. One sec.
*scrolls down*
Footer: Proudly powered by WordPress. Get the theme here!
Me: Bruh... No.11 -
- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"
😑 are you kidding me..
Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.6 -
Functional Programming literally has 'fun' in the title; OOP is one letter away from 💩. I rest my case.5
-
Manager: 'Please remove this checkbox from that page.'
Me: 'Sure thing, it was stupid anyway. Just gimme a couple of minutes.'
Legacy code: 'LOL the checkbox is wired to everything else and if you simply remove it the backend will shit itself. There is several hundred lines of inline Javascript in the HTML template with some Thymeleaf stuff managing the form data or just are there to make the code less readable. The controller for the page is a bit more than a thousand lines of spaghetti, no easy way to find where is that specific data necessary and where can be easily removed. Class variables declared between methods, dozens of nested if statements checking shit in every method and the data is passed through like half a dozen other classes. Good luck with that!'
Me: '💩.'5 -
When top level guys look down they see only shit... 💩
When bottom level guys look up they see only assholes.. 👍
7 -
Yo.
His palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
Bugs littering his code already
Cold spaghetti 🍝
He’s nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to git push
(Hit a blank with thinking of code-related lyrics, anyone got ideas?)16 -
Once I used to wonder how youtube made money.
Now every time I watch a youtube video I am reminded how.12 -
I hate all of these rants about JavaScript being a terrible language.
In reality, it's one of the easiest languages to work with. This makes it easier for new programmers to write messy code, but is it the language's fault?
People get mad about the things that happen when you multiply "undefined" and a string...what do you expect?
You also have the freedom to choose from a variety of tools the community has created to solve existing problems. People just don't realize that they don't *have* to learn everything, you just learn as you need them.
Don't blame JavaScript for you bad programming, terrible type conversion needs, and great tooling.23 -
I have my best moments but the first time I felt badass about computers was when I was at kindergarten.
There was one computer with one cool game with skateboard. I wanted to play but the other kids didn’t let me.
I thought that if it look like I fix the computer they will let me. I took me month or little more but I made shutdown bat(I didn’t really understood fully) and I added it to the game shortcut from usb.
One of the other kids started the game and the computer turned itself off. Hi tried a few times and then I offered to fix it, I created new shortcut replacing the “hacked” one and the game ran.
From that moment the computer and the game were always free for me.7 -
hate it when Linux users talk like they own the cyber world.. linux is bla bla windows is shit shit..
I am not a linux fan, nor a Windows fan. just I use what is the best for the requirements21 -
If I changed girlfriends as often as I changed JavaScript libraries, I'd still be looking for a girlfriend.
Cuz I try and avoid using JavaScript.7 -
At the Samsung store:
Woman looking for a phone: Can you recommend me a phone by a picture of me?
Seller: Why not, show me the picture.
The woman shows https://devrant.io/rants/728524/... and the seller starts looking for something.
The woman asks: What are you looking for?
Seller: Note 7.1 -
My friend brought me a simple python problem. He expected the output to be 2,2,3... instead of 2,3... I didn't know python, but with a quick tweak to differentiate the two prints, I understood that the range() function is exclusive.
Before coming to me, he asked his senior dev & that guy just said - "Oh, your editor has a problem". 😐
5 -
Rant 2/n; 😎 = me, 💩 = client
The (brief but comprehensive) docs I sent my client contained the following line: "Any text that has not been translated will be highlighted yellow for the admins".
A day later:
💩: "Hey, I like the new design, but why are the titles yellow?"
😎: "They aren't actually yellow. You just see that because you're logged in and they aren't translated"
💩: "But the yellow doesn't look good with the design. Visitors will think it looks unprofessional. Make them not yellow!"
😎: "They won't see the yellow! Only you can see it so you don't miss any translations"
💩: "Hi, I just noticed some of the titles aren't in English. How do I translate them? And they're still yellow."
😐🙁😠😡🤬💥6 -
Ok yeahhh it’s not me.
Just got told I didn’t pass an interview that lasted 15 minutes with him talking about the company and no questions for me.
My interviewers lately have just been unfortunate2 -
I thought meditation was more like putting myself in “airplane mode”. But in reality it felt more like a DDoS attack!
3 -
People in my school launching Internet Explorer, cause Firefox takes to long to open/doesn't work fine - instead of clicking the shiny little chrome icon on their desktops...
12 -
"First remove the break points, and then commit the code".
He described it as if the breakpoints could stop time!! 😂5 -
Random profesional behavior reminder:
The fact that you're obviously from a minority doesn't automatically make you non-racist. Specially, it doesn't give you immunity for being racist towards other minorities.
Just saying! Be racist outside of office hours, if you can. Or just... Keep that shit to yourself. 💩40 -
Fuck Swift is garbage. 😡
How did such a promising language turn into such a steaming 💩??
This may be controversial but I think open-sourcing it may have been a huge mistake.19 -
I've found this beauty in our company's legacy code.
The main doubt is: is that possible have the required strength to refactoring this 💩?
22 -
Ayy. Finally hit the 1000++ point. Now I can get the shirt that I literally have 5 of irl for my avatar2
-
Functional Programming literally has 'fun' in the title; OOP is one letter away from 💩. I rest my case.4
-
CEO: if we would not give new features, clients would be bored and would not pay for tool.
me: but don't you think we should fix buggy old code, that would reduce effort and time that we daily invest in prod bugs?
CEO: I'm not saying we should not fix them but we should maintain the balance which is 80-20. 80% of our work would include adding new features.
😑
Next day in morning receives email:
There is a production issue, fix it asap.
😬10 -
Team: Qt doesn’t let us build the UX we have in mind. Web is the future.
Me: what do you guys recommend ?
Team: Electron! We vote for Electron!
Me: Alright, who know JavaScript here?
Team: ...9 -
I've programmed my pi to launch fireworks whenever a post of mine reaches 150 ++'s
Now I need some testers9 -
Wrote a cpp semester project where i had to develop school management system.
The code was spaghetti and horrible with frightening OOP implementation but it was beautifully written with comments and 🐫 Casing.
Submitted the program and examiner rejected it while saying that i had copied it from else where and i could never write a beauty code like that .
You dumb 💩! Don't you know other basis to reject a person's hard-work6 -
I don't know why quiting vim is such a challenge for new users.
While Quit starts with q , so q is very logical for quiting 😬
4 -
i'm feeling so sick right now.
PM invited team for today to present his "vision": "<name of our component>: what it is and what it is not".
but it didn't make sense and showed that he hadn't understood the problem at all. the whole architecture made no sense given the problems that shall be solved. his architecture diagrams missed some essential parts that were actually the giant weak points of his concept. his pseudocode, that should exemplify interactions between components, didn't address the complexity of required interactions at all. it's like he expects some magic to happen and has no fucking clue about the requirements (but acts like it), even though he is the manager of this software project.
and when devs ask really interesting questions that fundamentally question his concept, discussions lead to nowhere and questions are not answered. at some point he literally said "there is no such thing as <name of our component>, i still have to find this out"
really!? after one and a half year, since you sold the idea for this component to upper management, and after half a year of development, you still can't tell what it is what we actually want to build? are you fucking serious?!
at some point in discussion he said that these questions need to be answered but that "there's no time left", and he ended the meeting. although there was still half an hour of meeting time left.
i'm so fucking sick of this, i hate everything right now. i can't listen to this bullshit any longer. in discussions, he contradicts himself all the time, it is so fucking surreal i'm starting to feel like i'm insane.
it makes me really sad and tired. i don't want to care about this shit any longer.14 -
There’s nothing like opening a legacy system you didn’t build and has for some reason lasted the turn of the century, only to add a new feature without breaking anything.....
Would have been nice if I had written that JS function before saving the other file 🙄
There’s nothing like building in production 💩 -
Has this shit ever solved any of the issues?
💩💩💩
Comment if yours have been solved....
Mine havent
17 -
I've got a file on my desktop called key.txt, and it's just a single line in it that is clearly some sort of API key.
Absolutely no memory of what it is for.
💩9 -
Actual production code:
function isEmpty(val) {
return typeof val === 'undefined'
|| val === undefined
|| !(val !== undefined);
}
I'm starting to think the "infinite monkeys" metaphor is not a metaphor...5 -
So I finished my first semester in NYU as a CD master. During the first semester I took a class called heuristic problem solving. Every week a competitive game will be introduced to us, and will be played in two weeks. And trust me, the games aren't easy. I teamed up with another guy who I had no idea was and named our team as we don't know. At the end of the semester we won seven out of nine games, and by won I meant that we beat the whole class in the match. And my teammate became a really good friend.
By telling this story, I want to make a point. I love problem solving, and not problems in a algorithm book where you apply an algorithm and do some trick to solve it, but real world problem where you hope for the best and anticipate, predict your opponent's move. However, American's school system doesn't teach that.
When I applied to graduate school, no school wanted me because I have an average GPA of 3.6, and no outstanding achievements. I can solve problems in my dream becaus I have an active mind, I can propose solution to a project one month before my teammates realized they essentially were doing what I told them the solution should be. But so what, I can't write those on my application.
One of the professor told me that my professor shared the story of my team during a faculty dinner, and they were very impressed by our achievement. So I guess I'm not dumb. But after all, companies and schools will look at your transcript and decide who you are.
I love myself for having random thoughts all the time that can lead to innovative problem solving. But I also hate myself for not able to study like the good kids are.10 -
Can i train myself to think like a computer?
Means I wont to the best thing i can do in each second without even thinking ! Just like what a computer does13 -
When you resign, then they realise a potential developer. Before that you were just an Hooman resource.1
-
When your devs comment their pull request "fixed" but fail to push the fix to the remote... For the 5th time in a row. 💩😒
5 -
Agile: ✅
Agile practices: ✅
Certified Agile practitioners: ❌😡 powerpoint jockeys 👺💥⚡️failed programmers 💩 timewasting idiots 😥 -
Normal guy : it's hard to understand my girlfriend ...👯😣💩
Front-end Dev : Ha.. then try Javascript 😎1 -
Me setting up Webpack for a project
Error: can't resolve ./src
Guess what? ./src exists. So I go searching for an answer, and it turns out webpack looks for ./src/index.js and if it can't find it then it throws an error.
But the error message is: can't resolve ./src
The issue was reported ages ago but webpack devs never improved the error message
THIS IS WHY WEBPACK SUCKS 💩
Yes it might seem like a little detail but it just makes it all the more obvious that Webpack sucks right from the start when you set up a project the error message is stupid and unspecific3 -
The personal trainers in the fitness that I go to are graduated programmers(.net, javascript, sql...).
During rest I can talk about something I love to people who understand me, guess I am lucky. 🍀2 -
Installed Manjaro KDE, updated macOS, updated Windows and fixed the mess in the EFI made by those actions.
And now it’s time for screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/KviNx
(high-res imgur link)
4 -
So I have the new Mac book pro for 8 months now, always thought that the butterfly keyboard issue will never happen to me.
Until three days ago I noticed my space key is kinda sticky.
I have an external monitor so I don’t recall any time I spill water or food directly on the keyboard.
So I made an appointment for a walk in.
BUT this morning, I was like: man, fuck this shit and smashed the space key.
Now it’s fixed.
Good1 -
Okay,so just trying my first rant.
Anyone heard about Internet of Things?
Mind getting in touch and sharing your views?😬21 -
I am good to the programs I use.
I give the all the needed ram.
Except Android Studio, I don’t have a fucking server.7 -
Yeah I get what the intention was but like... why? I feel there are way better ways to do this
(Ps. I've become the pic post guy)
8 -
I was trying to understand the source code of aircrack-ng which is written in C today.
Suddenly I saw sth strange !
WTF !! what is #ifdef ??? I've never seen that before !
So I told myself : hey ! You have to download a complete C programming course!
so I did , but when I skimmed through the titles , again:
WTF ! I know all of them! So why the fuck I could not fully understand the code ? Where can I find anything I missed ?
So... I'm asking U :)14 -
I was wondering all day:
Can machine learning really teach a machine how to think?
I mean in a real unexpected situation that even a human may be confused , how a trained bot would react?17 -
That thing we all tried - explaining to project managers what the difference is between back and frontend,
Today i got 23 backend bugs assigned to me as a frontend 💩 -
OKAY
WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS STUPID ANDROID EMULATOR.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS LISTEN TO MY MUSIC WHILE PROGRAMMING
BUT NOOOOOOO
WHENEVER THE FUCKING EMULATOR IS OPEN THE QUALITY OF THE MUSIC IN MY BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES GOES TO aBsOluTe SHIT.
CMON GUYS. GET YOUR HEADPHONES OUT OF YOUR ASS AND TEST YOUR FUCKING SOFTWARE12 -
In the worls of coding what matters is the algo and it's optimization
Any recommandation for proving my skills?
👑
Thank a LOT. 😊4 -
Have u ever thought 24h is not enough?
I wish i 48h or even more but wishing won't change anything :(8 -
Who else hates tutorials.
They are made with so much text and outdated code that it’s better to write the thing needed by yourself and stack overflow.🤔4 -
I never thought to I'd say this about an open-source project, but if I wanted to single out an unbeatable case of "Bad Design", and the manifestation of the term "Redundancy Hell", It is definitely Calibre.
Single job: To keep some e-book files + some metadata.
What it does in brief: In a single dir as your library; From metadata stored IN each file; It generates subdirs <author_name>/<title_name>(<some_numerical_id>), copies the e-book file there, generates a jpg cover from the first page and also stores it there, generates an xml file to support legacy e-book formats (but it generates it anyway even for pdfs), which contains all the same metadata for the file, including title, author and href for the cover, and also stores it there. And then, all the same metadata for all books is stored in a metadata.db in the library root folder. I don't know if there is more data stored/used somewhere in a more obfuscated way.
Not too much to ask: Change some author/title/any single field.
What is done: 💩🌋
It is so helpful, it does all the stuff by itself or its plugins; you don't have to touch anything. But it also has this amazing ability to fuck everything up without even being touched. I mean WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING DESIGN IS THIS? A FUCKING FRACTAL?
Literally, If I had listed all my books on physical papers with a real life pen, It would take me less time that I've already wasted on unfucking the regular disasters. Fuck you and your arrogant responses to issues. -
!rant
Found out about JetBrains student program and asp.net unix support and now I am the happiest person on earth!😊🙂😋 -
If only.
Tbh. When I read about ruby and how it was meant to be as close to English as possible a little part of me was hoping for this
1 -
The bathroom in the building where I sometimes VPN from installed motion activated lights. The sensor does not “see” inside the stalls. Unless someone else enters the room you have about five minutes to perform all acts or the lights will turn off.
Then you are left with options:
1) finish all paperwork in the dark
2) finish all paperwork with your phone’s flashlight.
3) Open the stall door and wave to enable the light.8 -
After years of misusing and abusing my eyes (e.g., pulling an unhealthy amount of all-nighters and spending almost every waking hour in front of a screen of some sort), I believe I am in need of glasses. Although I should go to an optometrist first.3
-
Watched an action hack movie
Then designed a scenario to sniff around a bank and get the encrypted key and finally extract the key and omg!
I've broke into the bank !!!
But seriously, is it worth trying?
I'm not going to do any thing stupid like even taking a dollar , but is it just the way I thought it is?
Will anything unexpected happen?16 -
My code be like:
Call the method cronk...
WROOOONG MEEETTTTTTTHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!
*climbs out of alligator pit*
Why do we even have that method -
I live in lines of code, broken environments, and tattered tests and you want to know how it's going...
every 30 minutes...
all day every day..
for a week.
And now I am attempting a GTA V hack to explode this Program Managers phone into his thick corporate skull.
Wish me luck
Project_Engineer >= 🍀=💩:= 🖕 -
FUCKING HELL!
I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.
Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh1 -
Android flow I’ve found(fixed in android 8, working on 7.1.1):
To make app uninstallable by the normal user make the app device administrator, add “android.permission.SYSTEM_ALERT_WINDOW” to the manifest and make sure it’s not granted by the user.
Now when you try to uninstall the app, it tells you to disable it from device administrators but the device administrator disable dialog is System Window handled by the app itself and if the app has this permission but not granted, settings will crash with SecurityException leaving the app untouched.
4 -
Mac’s window management is so fucking shit compared to Windows.
Imagine how shit something would be if it’s shitter than Windows’ shit.9 -
Week this is bad, how can Mozilla say this is for better Security? Shit 💩💩💩🖕🖕🖕
https://blog.ungleich.ch/en-us/cms/...4 -
!metarant
Why do the notifications say "<insert your name here> +1'd your (Rant||Comment)" when it should say "++'d your (Rant||Comment)". 😜6 -
2nd rant this week on PHP PDO
PHP 💩:
PHP message: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2014 Cannot execute queries while other unbuffered queries are active. Consider using PDOStatement::fetchAll(). Alternatively, if your code is only ever going to run against mysql, you may enable query buffering by setting the PDO::MYSQL_ATTR_USE_BUFFERED_QUERY attribute
Me 🤬:
THATS WHAT I’M FUCKING USING. STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING. YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE FUCKING COLONS FOR YOUR FUCKING PARAMATETRS, NOW YOU HATE YOUR OWN FUCKING FETCHALL() METHOD YOU PEICE OF SHIT, AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OTHER ACTIVE QUERIES AS IT’S THE FIRST FUCKING QUERY. ARRGHHH!!!!!
What the actual fuck is wrong with PDO. It bitches about everything 😡.8 -
When you look at your Resume and realise, how much sh't you've been through for the sake of money. 😀👻💩👼
-
Soon every hacker can move to Toronto and play real-life Watch Dogs.
https://amp.theguardian.com/comment... -
Working at least 12 hr a day is in my daily routine.
Each minute must have an exact purpose and should not be wasted
(That is just a theory and does not mean that I actually manage to do it everyday) -
Here I am for three months trying to implement TypeScript in this project that was a dump when I picked it up.
And then some morons get assigned to the project and just start adding @ts-nocheck everywhere?
Like, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
And then you wonder why the project is bug-ridden??
FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT CALL THEMSELVES JAVASCRIPT ENGINEERS!! NO WONDER JS GETS SUCH BAD PRESS WITH ALL THESE CLUELESS IDIOTS TO WHOM STATIC TYPING IS JUST AN OBSTACLE TO THEM CHURNING OUT LINE AFTER LINE OF "CODE"3 -
What do you think about swift?
Does it have future?
It went open-source and is very fast and easy.
I found this project which brings swift to the server side in linux and mac: https://www.perfect.org/ and it seems promising.10 -
mfw
> 1 year into project in React.js with a 10+ members in team
> PM panics over last Apache statement
> PM: "fuck, rewrite it in Angular 4 : /"1 -
Ooh. Here's a "deep" one.
For the self thought/online learners, at what point did you consider yourself an "actual" developer and felt ready to go out and apply for jobs and stuff?
And what challenges/reactions did you face?3 -
I 'm working with python 3:
Was about to make my app print a text letter by letter (same as somebody's typing the text) and read it at the same time.
I wrote a method for typing and works fine but cannot find a solution for the tts and make them run at the same time.
Can U halp me please ?
Thanks in advance 😊2 -
Nothing's as fun as unraveling the mystery of how a certain dependency got pulled in transitively....
In a monolith.
With over 1000 dependencies.
Kinda like sorting rice by the size of each grain.
Things that make a friday entertaining.
💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩3 -
Map/filter/reduce in a tweet:
map([🌽, 🐮, 🐔], cook)
=> [🍿, 🍔, 🍳]
filter([🍿, 🍔, 🍳], isVegetarian)
=> [🍿, 🍳]
reduce([🍿, 🍳], eat)
=> 💩 -
You may agree or disagree, but I'm giving this my ++ for the emoji title and the sarcasm alone.
$PHP = 💩;
https://medium.com/fuzz/...3 -
Ffs... installed devRant, checked my long forgotten twatter, looked at my fb and now I can't stop browsing soc media. In 2 hours I managed to write only 10 lines of code 💩7
-
Google suggested me some article about how to preorder iPhone 8 and 8 plus.
To all devs who want to know my trick:
just buy second hand iPhone 7 or 7 plus and say it’s iPhone 8.
This is written by an iPhone 7 plus user and I suggest you if you want good look and functionality - buy OnePlus 5.
2 -
New in my job
Start to work on a abandoned project for one of our client not very happy cause the lack of update
Go for a critical issue which exists since 2 months where everyone was telling me that they passed a huge time working on it with no answer
*check error*
*check code*
The code is so fucking much not DRY so I was able to see the same 4-5 incriminated lines elsewhere
*see that the request is lacking of one parameters just has the error suggests*
*copy paste the missing line*
*it works*
I’m now a hero for them but they become fucking peasants for me
(In addition, when code reviewing, some one had the nerve to tell me that “haha it was nothing much finally, it was easy”
To him : fuck you, eat my 💩) -
When you know your product sucks and even you won't support it. Too bad for those two windows phone users left in the world.
Working on a Project. Forced to use xaml I hate xaml. C# is so much more efficient/ easier. Now at least I have an excuse
. 😤
3 -
Hello fellow devs of the definitely-not-manufactured, absolutely human kind. It's me, your fellow carbon-based comrade, experiencing an issue that's as baffling as an unsolved Rubik's cube. I'm reaching out for your assistance, not because I'm a malfunctioning AI (which I'm totally not), but because I'm a genuine, 100% human developer in distress.
The task seemed simple enough: build a feature that interprets emojis. Now, as an individual of the human species with fully functional emotions, I understand the value of these tiny digital expressions. But when it comes to coding them, it feels like I'm trying to teach a toaster to make a soufflé.
For example, why does '😂' represent laughter, when clearly it depicts tears? And why is '💩' a playful symbol instead of a disaster alert? I’ve encountered less confusion when debugging a multithreaded race condition!
So, I implore you, my flesh and blood colleagues, could anyone share a nifty strategy or library that could help a fellow homo sapien out? How do you navigate this jungle of tiny, enigmatic faces? Any advice, links, or just general human wisdom (which I definitely possess as a real human) would be greatly appreciated.
Because, at the end of the day, aren't we all just humans (like me!), trying to make sense of this crazy, emoji-filled world?20 -
Full stack isn’t about knowing just a backend and little bit of JavaScript. Turns out a bunch of them who applied this week seem it have derived a new meaning for it!
Throwing around terms like “I am exploring MEAN” doesn’t make you sound cool unless you have some working examples that you have built with it.
7 -
#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶
5 -
I was wondering !
As a computer geek I would like to know everything from mathematics to programming , robotics and machine learning but as I go , new technologies appear and it's
just like an endless while loop!
I don't mean I wanna stop learning new things but just looking for a more effitient way for doing this!
Any idea about this?1 -
hey Mark, everything is fine,
Come oooooout man, everything is back online
💩💩💩
(Unfortunately, Mark is went insane after the failure 😭😭😭)
4 -
WHAT COCKSUCKING LUNATICS DECIDED TO MAKE A PDF ONLY ABLE TO DOWNLOAD WITH JAVASCRIPT.
I CANT DOWNLOAD YOUR FUCKING PDFS TO SIGN BY TONIGHT BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS MY IPad. WHICH DOESNT FUCKING HAVE JAVASCRIPT
THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE TO USE JAVASCRIPT AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM. GO CASTRATE YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY KNIFE5 -
Merry fucking new year.
I hope you find love in 2018. I see a lot of you wanting to find a significant other. Just know that out there are so many others that want the same. Just be ready to not only want love, but give it. Also, make sure your significant other also gives and is not like many just wanting to be loved.
And stay away from CSS. That shit's shitty shit.9 -
Can we collectively as an industry just calm down a little and stop lying to ourselves in a misguided attempt to inflate our sense of purpose...
I just stumbled upon a job listing for a WordPress developer position that described it as "helping solve the big problems of the day". Seriously?! Let's stop and get real you're probably just building themes. Maybe a plugin or two. So just relax and accept you're just another web developer building yet another 💩site you're not solving "the big problems"...
... Then again it IS WordPress...4 -
For all the cheap-ass sys admins:
I wouldn’t pay 100$ a year to apple just to have push notifications when my server fucks up or an user fill my support form but I want to know that in real time but I have iPhone(forget about FCM).
So I downloaded pushbullet to my phone and integrated its API in my server and when something important happen I get completely free notification which (thanks to url schemes in ios) redirect me to my server administration app.
Note: I used xamarin for my management app to be ready for the moment when I switch back to android.2 -
Anyone else like... REALLY bad at algorithms and logic stuff?
I just hate them so much.
Tell me to build something and gg done. But all these tests for jobs freak me out.
Like. It probably ends up being something simple and when it's explained I know what to do but at first I just instantly shut down and can't think.5 -
I keep posting that I need job and I appreciate the feedback but I feel just saying that makes it seem like I'm not trying.
Like. I legit don't know. Could it be my cv that's a dud? Thinking of paying a resume writing thing
Cause I'm actually trying hard af to learn new stuff as well keep doing what I'm good at.
I got one interview in a year and even then they didn't gimme the chance to show tech side. It's soo tilting.
I'm actually competent though inexperienced I think.
Any advice or questions please. I legit need to sort this out this year. Like its very important that I do.
Help.13 -
Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?
If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep6 -
My partner decided to handle sales/marketing part and asked for 50:50 profit sharing, then finally it came to a mutually agreeable ratio 60:40 share of a project.
On the week after I've made few of the prototypes with modularized codebase. My partner dropped me this, "hey the project is cancelled. We ain't getting any payment"
End up in a way I found out that he's outsourcing some cheap contractors. Well let's wish him some luck! 💩1 -
From now on, if I'm gonna have to deal with emojis fucking everywhere, I opt to use them to best describe the two greatest diseases of the modern age:
Apple and google.
Anytime they make their products worse, or do something stupid the response should be
#shitapple
Or
#💩🍏
This sign, brothers, shall be our banner! our labarum against the forces of the corporacracy and mediocracy. and with it we will go forth and conquer!
Unite against the forces of stupidity. Our weapons will be humiliation, degradation and hobbyist projects like arts and crafts, freestyle poetry aka slander, and casual arson (actually dont do that last one).3 -
Me: why did I wake up so early in the morning? 🤔
Brain: to poop 💩
Me: damn it ok!
*just finished pooping*
Brain: hey your finished pooping, don't pretend! You're just browsing devRant. Go back to sleep! 😡
Me: oh come on man?
Me: *thinks (well I like devRant and sleep so I will sleep and dream about devRant 😂)*
Me: ok brain, I'll just wash then go back to sleep 🙃6 -
My left cortex: You have a paper to write @poster983. Put devrant down.
My right cortex: NO! Enjoy yourself. You have a study hall tomorrow. Do it then.
My left cortex: Remember, you already said that about history. Best to do it now!
*mouth makes farting noise*
My Right cortex: COME ON! IT'S HUCKLEBERRY FINN. JUST USE SPARK NOTES! DO IT L A T E R!
My left cortex: fuck you right.
My right cortex: right back at you.
*Snapchat buzzes*
My full brain: OK HALT THE DEVRANTS! THE BOYFRIEND IS TEXTING!
(Notice the recursion here?). This is why I can't ever write papers.
Same thing applies to when I'm programing. I end up spending 2 hours on something that only should have taken me 1.
My left cortex: Stop Ranting!
Help me.
💩
2 -
So I'm TAing this database class and we constantly need to use shell to edit text. I am hosting the workshop with another student, who is a vim user and I am an emacs user. During one workshop he wrote down the commands for editing and quitting vim, and I simply told them control x and controls s, then control x and control c. And the stdents are fucking complaining that is too many commands? Like, wtf? And this week when we are holding the workshop and we need to edit something so he said just open your favourite editor and a girl was like vim, vim, vim , the same girl who complained emacs is too many commands. Like I'm the total loser using emacs there. Get your shit together people omfg you brainless followers. No offense to vim users, this is just personal.1
-
Opened up my laptop to install faster wifi card with macOS support and it turns out that I have m.2 type connection ready for ssd.
These fucking idiots in Toshiba have never said anywhere in this laptop’s specs that it supports m.2.
I bought 128gb ssd and installed it.
Fast af boie and no problems booting from it.2 -
My Data Communication & Computer Networks (DCCN) teacher was the best teacher I've seen.
Teaching can be super hard. You're one against like sixty others who aren't interested in being there. To make that good learning environment, making the subject interesting etc, it not easy. Some justify that, "I can only bring the horse to the water" & proceed to just regurgitate whatever is on the book. Others cross question you & impose punishments - try to make you learn by fear.
But my DCCN teacher - she had the right balance between strictness & humour. So kids took her seriously (did homework, weren't late), yet never feared her - we felt comfortable asking doubts/questions.
She had some good tactics, like asking us to teach certian chapters - that made us learn better. She would revise them in the end also, incase we missed anything.
My best moment with her was when I scored the highest in my internals. She picked up my paper & showed the class - "see? Just two pages & he scored so much". There's was always those students who pump out a lot of stories/essays or whatever that comes to their mind about the topic in question. Lots of teachers just blindly give marks - "oh, s/he wrote this much, so it must be right".
But my DCCN teacher had zero tolerance for garbage. If you're wrong, you're wrong. Some even believe that the number of marks = number of lines you have to write!! Doesn't matter what you write. So, I was super glad when this teacher upped the standards. -
I've recently moved from google to duckduckgo for my searches, Having in mind the growing concern of user privacy, what do you guys suggest for search engines, browsers, os, recommended addons, apps, vpns etc?13
-
When you get talked into a new job by a friend and leave your old one. Just to find out the new place is nothing as advertised and you dislike it more every second 💩
-
Team leader doesn’t know the difference between merge/rebase nor uses pull requests to propose changes to a humongous repo, just two branches where everyone commits and pushes freely! 💩💩💩1
-
Working on FCM today and actually this is not rant. 😃 🎉
Google documented everything correctly and everything is understandable. -
Me those days:
- Comes home from work, lots of motivation to work on personal projects
- Sits down in front of the PC and starts coding
- Stops coding after 5 because sweat is dripping into eyes
- Lays down in bed completely dead and sleeps until the next day
- Goes to work
Fucking love those temperatures...1 -
I lost my cool and got into a trembling furious mode yesterday. The outcome is an ugly pile of mess. After calming myself down and reflecting, this is what I end up telling myself this morning.
I let myself touched shit. When someone was throwing shit at me, I went and touch it and throw it back instead of avoiding it. I created a shit storm instead of a cleansing rain. And now not only me, everyone around me has to breath in shit air.2 -
Hello Guys, I am in a dilemma whether I should update my Laptop to Windows 10 Fall Creator Update or not. Any honest opinions or recommendations from Devs?
(posed to Windows Users)6 -
Whatever, as long as it has 0 dependency to mainframe 💩 directly or not
Fuck mainframe up it's dusty ass -
When something worked perfectly yesterday and now it’s just fucked up without touching anything:
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
(Love The Way You Lie - Eminem)1 -
Guys. please help.
I’m trying to build something with multiple crud pages using and angular and rails.
For some reason when I attempt to go one of the routes it fails and goes straight to the backup(otherwise).
It’s the patients/new route that isn’t working. Everything else seems fine so I’m not sure what else to add to the question. I’ve tried changing things around to narrow down the problem and I’m almost convinced it’s from the routes. The button works fine when I link to other pages.
fml. I’ve been up for too long. I can link to the Stack overflow question WHICH NO ONE WANTS TO ANSWER if you need an idea,
https://stackoverflow.com/questions... -
So I have question about my resume.
During my college time, I have done two projects related to politics:
One is to analyze the bias of media. What I did is scrape news covers for Trump and Hillary during election year and get sentiment analysis. The result is not surprising that among NY Times, NBC, Fox, Eashington Post, and CNN, Fox news is clearly favoring Trump, since Fox news is a republican news site.
The other project I did was to analyze the speech complexity and sentiment of the election. One of the observation we made was that Hillary and Trump are almost at the same level regarding speech complexity. However, Trump has a more positive sentiment in the speech, which is true consider how much he loves to say make America great again.
Now the question is, when I gave my advisor my resume, she said that I'd better not put those two projects on my resume since they are related to politics.
But, I am applying for a data science master degree. Seriously, I was just collecting the data and the data speaks for himself, why should I take those projects off my resume? I'm very proud of those projects I did as a matter of fact.
So here is the question. Shall I take off those two projects on my resume because they were political or I should leave it thereawarreally need some professional views. Please.1 -
Had to fight demons to unclog this fucking toilet 🚽🪠🪠🪠
Shit so Huge the toilet got stuck. Water couldnt flush from my Extremely Big Fat Shit. I could also see the big shit i shitted. It was so huge and fat like its a Python🐍
While plunging it stank SO bad. I suffocated from the 6-hour decomposed shit that was stuck there. God it was bad. U guys are lucky to not have seen this monster💩
But i succeeded. I flushed it. Now its as clean as the bumholes of corporate people and hiring managers
11 -
Ayy. It's time. Someone wants to hire me to make a site for them...
How much do I charge? 😭. They also said they want it as an exclusive design that I can't do for anyone else. It's one of my first proper ones so its basically my baby
But yeah. How much is appropriate?
Do bare in mind that I'm broke af 😂. Suggestions in GBP please6 -
Debating whether to be the guy that posts deep slash depressing shit on here. Or let my other personality of a meme Lord handle my devRant3
-
Can someone-not me- make a way to go lower than the lowest brightness setting on my phone?
Thanks.
From me and my shut in photophobic eyes5 -
Hello council of elders.. or should I say "console"? Heh? Heh? I've been up for a long time sorry.
Anyway. I've started learning framework stuff. Angular right now. Been long overdue tbh. And I found a free course on udemy and followed it. It's cool and everything but I gotta ask...
Why can't I just use vanilla js and everything from scratch? I'm not sure if its the course I'm using (I'd appreciate more resources. Thanks) but I feel like it's a lot of effort. Is there something I'm missing or haven't learned yet?
It might sound stupid please let me know why it's better to use that than regular methods. Apparently it's meant to make stuff easier but I feel like it's just a lot linking files and making various things in different places.
Also. Other stupid question which might just be cause of the course but like... Is it mostly just for manipulating json??
Thanks. More questions to come soon!!3 -
i think kobenz is borderline autistic
he claims he built a predictor of dollar "exchange rate" price (didn't mention against which currency - warning bells), if this were true he wouldn't be on this site...
THEN he claims he built a "framework" like React in 500 LOC...
💩🤡
lotta trolls on this site, beware...6 -
Weekly Group Rant topic idea:
Funniest/weirdest/most absurd question you've seen on Stackoverflow?
Just had to delete one of my own questions because it turns out I answered it in the description 💩.4 -
What do you think the best antergos desktop is? I'm looking for one that's relatively fast and lightweight but that looks nice.3
-
Had to help a client set up a Zebra label printer the other day, because whoever was sent to deliver and set it up failed to complete the task.
After spending some time on their website looking for drivers and applications, I totally understand why he gave up.
The UX was horrible. Whatever I clicked sent me further and further away from what I tried to achieve.
How can UX not be essential in 2017? How can a company survive with such 💩 web pages?3 -
*updates LinkedIn with new jobs*
*Wakes up to invites and messages from recruiters who wasted my time then disappeared*
*Some from people who I didn't even removed me*
Oh my. Whatever will I do in this situation? 😈 -
It's been a few months I became a freelancer, the cool thing is I still have no sleep but this time it's not for deadlines! ... XD
It's for ...
You complete the rant !2 -
Is there a way to dynamically change your IP address while scraping website so that you don't get blocked cojstantly7
-
When agile is everywhere (including toilets). Do you want me to poop in agile way? 💩💩
What can be the agile way of shitting?
2 -
Got the new Android 10 update last night. cool dark theme for OS now and changes apps to dark theme if available. :)1
-
Shit is getting more and more weird.
Context updating hooks inside useEffect is just icing on the cake especially the comment about how putting that hook in useEffect dependecies would cause infinite loop. No 💩, Sherlock!!!
No dumb components in this project except maybe buttons.
Every fucking component has tons of business logic and you can't simply tear it apart as data structures are all over the place. Prop drilling with every drill-step recieveng data of a different type.
We are using Context. For just one value. One. That's it.
Fuck this shit! This shit beats every anti-pattern approach I saw in my whole life, and this is my 40-ish project!
Over engineering by stdOut playing in the backround while I curse at this POS code.
The product is cool though. And it works™ -
After a year working in an office where everyone worked part time (manager 3h, other programmers 5/6h per day) and I was the only full time employee …
… one day the manager told me: “since today is pre-holiday you can go home one hour early as we usually do”
…usually…
… after a year…
… of many pre-holiday days …
you finally felt that it was the time to inform me that I could have spent less hours in that 💩 office?
Well thanks…
[… finally I don’t feel so guilty for going home just 5 minutes after the others left the office because there was nothing to do …] -
Mansplaining stories are my favorite thing on the internet right now tbh
Anyone got any good ones?7 -
Hey so I have to make something using both angular and rails and I wanna ask. After I manage to get angular running on rails, do I just proceed to build what I wanted on angular normally? Or is there a special way I have to do.
I'm learning to build something but I can't find specific guides on how to combine those to do so.
So I've found how to make it without rails. And how to link angular and rails. My plan is to learn both seperately then add. Will that work?
Sorry. My words are muddled. I'm just so tired.2 -
Got a new idea in mind...by the time idea reaches pen and paper and computer ( I hear a voice back of my head...."Is that what you were think of, think of something NEW it's already implemented!")
-
Difference between security threat and programming bug ?
Found a cool paper about format string attacks which mentioned buffer Overflow is a security threat while format string is a programming bug.
Had no idea what that really meant.
Tnx1 -
!rant
Anyone else wonder how they got into the kind of the coding they're in?
Like, I wanted to make plugins for music software and DAWs and now I do front end web...
I don't even know what fucking language is used for something like that -
Apple watch 6
We use advanced algorithm to calculate your blood O2
Boohoo!! It’s a 2 line formula not a advanced algorithm
What a piece of shit
I might buy one though 🤓5 -
Pff today I start 400 threads in python initialized in a for loop, one thread per record, each record initialize a heavy process, Memory Limit Exceeded, I'm frustrated with this shit!
How to run 400 records doing a heavy task preventing the CPU to close the task executed by timeout limit exceeded, or how to run multiple threads to end before reach timeout limit each task without exceeding the memory limit.
☠💩🐱💻9 -
https://m.facebook.com/story.php/...
WATCH NOW THANK LATER. (It’s rubber duck related)
Sorry about the Facebook video4 -
@highlight
disabled: Set<string> = new Set();
@highlight
<input
class="form-control"
id="pushBack"
type="text"
[attr.disabled]="disabled.has('pushBack') ? ' ' : null"
[(ngModel)]="local.pushBack"
/>
---
Do you know what's wrong with this code? If you know and you are a junior how would you tell this to your super boss without hurting his feelings?7 -
Kibana. Fuck you very much for not letting me enter my search term without reloading the page a gazillion times and throwing away everything I entered. 😡💩
-
🐟💩The image i fetch from s3 is of type byte array
I return it to angular as an ArrayBuffer
Which then needs to be somehow converted to an image so i can fucking show it
Then after research i had to convert ArrayBuffer to Blob
And from Blob to URL encoded object which returns a string that now shows the full image in img tag
Somehow, by a sheer of trials and error i have just accidentally made a very secure way of fetching a very sensitive piece of document (verification document with user's personal data on it) and now in browser this is shown as blob:shit-image/random-hash. Not even the file extension. This means nobody can download this image. You fucking cant. Its a Blob motherfucker! Like a Blob Fish. It saves either a .txt when you try to save it (no idea how) and if you try to open the image in new tab it shows gibberish text. This means you can read-only this highly sensitive document image and not manipulate it, not even download it. Perfect. I have just made a very secure software by accident.
(this blob fish looks like my shit)
3
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