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Co-worker: "I wish I understood how this program worked"
Me: "I wish I understood how THIS program worked"
Co-worker: "You're the the one that wrote that"
Me: "Your point?"4 -
So my actual job is being a nurse at the local hospital, with coding being just a hobby. However, the way some IT–Related things are treated here are just mind-blowing. Here are some examples:
Issue: Printer is not recognized by network anymore due to not being properly plugged in
Solution: Someone has to tell the house technician, if the house technician is currently not available, ask his assistant who only works part time and like twice a week. House technician took the printer (God knows why), came back 2 days later and plugged it back in.
Issue: Printer 1 of 2 on ICU has run out of ink and since all computers default to printer 1, nobody can print.
Solution: Call the house technician, blah blah, house technician comes, takes ink cartridge of printer 2 and puts it into printer 1.
Issue: Public WiFi is broken, can be connected to but internet access is missing. Probably config issue as a result of a recent blackout.
Solution: Buy a new router, spend 5 days configuring it and complain about how hard networking is.
Issue: Computer is broken, needs to be exchanged with a new one, but how do we transfer the data?
Solution: Instead of just keeping the old hard drive, make a 182GB backup, upload it to the main file server and then download it again on the new computer.
Issue: Nurse returns from vacation, forgot the password to her network account.
Solution: Call the technician who then proceeds to open a new account, copies all the files from the old one and tells her to pick an easier password this time. She chooses "121213".12 -
"I wish I could browse devRant at work"
Well wish no more!
http://www.jsrant.com/
@dfox will I have my third entry on the projects page? 😇48 -
You only get three wishes.
I wish for more wishes.
I can't do that. Only three are allowed.
Sudo I wish for more wishes.
OK, here's more wishes!2 -
Today is my birthday.
I wish I wasn't such a lazy piece of shit and actually get my personal projects done.
Thanks in advance, birthday wish granter.2 -
Being a techie surrounded by "normal" people is like a torment you didn't ask for. I just watched someone copy a whole folder of images to their flash drive.
File by file.
Without keyboard shortcuts.
In one explorer window.
Select, copy, navigate to flash drive, paste, navigate to folder, repeat.8 -
User:
I wish I could build an app like XYZ that is so cool.🥺🥺
XYZ Developer:
I wish I could build an SDK like Agora.io that is so cool.😣😣
Developer at Agora.io:
I wish I could build CDN like Akamai. That is so cool.🤔🤔
Developer at Akamai:
I wish I could have layed Internet as a concept. That is so cool.😢
Conclusion: Don't disparage yourself as a Developer. Sometimes, we should Appreciate what we have build rather than what we wish to build.
Be proud of the Product "X" you are building.
Just look around, you will find a person wishing to build a product like "X".🤗
#developer #motivation #developers #agora #motivation9 -
My 2018 wish:
I wish Amazon and Google would end their childish fight so that i can finally stream Amazon Prime to my TV using Chromecast.4 -
I wish I could download developer knowledge into my brain like Neo did in "The Matrix".
"I know React"7 -
Foday my father argued with me that:
* "HTML programmers" get payed a lot
* WordPress is awesome
* wordpress programmers get payed a lot
* WordPress doesn't need to be secure
* FileMaker is 100% virus-free (probably malware free), because not many people use it
* UX and UI design are exactly the same6 -
No, I do not wish to work on your Scrum-managed project.
I do not wish to contribute to the Taylorism of my profession.
I do not wish to be an interchangeable cog in your software sausage machine.
I do not wish to be tracked by some pointless metrics like a call-centre worker.
I do not wish to bust my tight, cute ass to sprint after some idiotic management request that could have been factored in earlier.
I do not wish to obtain some piss-ant qualification that "authorises" me to do my job.
I do not wish to be party to your lie that technical debt will be avoided by refactoring---whatever the cost.
I do not wish to contribute to the death of software engineering to have it replaced by software development.
Agile? Sure. I can pick up the phone and talk to the client, users and fellow devs. After all, that's what it FUCKING MEANS. Communi-fucking-cation.
See that burndown chart? See your anus? Know what's happening next?
Fuck Scrum and every fucking bottom-feeder that is scamming a living by promoting it. You're killing this business.
Hugs and kisses,
Platypus15 -
Genie, my first wish is that you double the amount of JavaScript frameworks, every day.
Genie, my second wish is that you make PHP even more of a mess. Huh, not possible? Alright, my second wish is that my browser history is cleared when I die.
Genie, my third and final wish is that Linux will be owned by Microsoft and released as a DLC to Windows Vista.
Happy developing!3 -
As a developer, I'm sometimes accused of pulling strings out my arse.
As a dog owner, I've literally just had to pull a string out of my dog's arse.
I really wish she'd stop eating fabric.2 -
I really wish i was a good designer. Id love to put together attractive frontends with cool and unique ideas.
I also wish i wasnt colorblind.3 -
Sometimes I wish I could run code outside computers/servers/microchips. Then I could build another world.3
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Men in plaid: Look like programmers.
Me in plaid: Look like farmer.
I hate fashion. I hate picking out clothing. Where is my easy uniform-thats-not-actually-a-uniform? The men folk don't have to spend brain cells devoted to clothing, if they don't want, and still look sufficiently appropriate. Whereas I'm sitting here on a Friday night, wondering what precautions need to be made before washing a professional shirt which is for some reason bedecked with rhinestones.16 -
I wish, I wish, I could finish off projects that I started even if that means I cannot touch new projects.
Fucking takes me ages to get motivation to start something, but then I start too many things and end up demotivated so I scrap all of them and the cycle continues.6 -
If only.
Tbh. When I read about ruby and how it was meant to be as close to English as possible a little part of me was hoping for this
1 -
I work 3 PM to 1 AM as a daily office job. Then go home and try to learn programming. Wake up next day at 8:30 AM for kind of another work until 1PM. Doesn't pay as much but I have to try. Then if I get free time do some freelance on UPWORK with whatever little graphic designing I know to help pay the bills.
And the fact that even my laptop is dying is a huge blow. Don't know when it might give up. Has 1st gen core i5 dual core, takes ages to load Adobe softwares. I have wanted to hulksmash this shit, but can't.
If I'm lucky, I get a stress free 6 hours of sleep a few days a month. And my depression doesn't help. More sleep should ease me a little, but I can't afford to waste any time. But this is life, isn't it.3 -
Last week I received an invitation to lead the development of a e-commerce redesign, replatforming and data migration. I was excited to work on it, and started the analysis and planning, glad to spend time focusing on quality. But Murphy's law is never asleep - this Monday, I was asked to speed things up and reduce a 4 month project to 1 week.
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My wish to have:
1) default show line number in IDE
2) default f**king dark theme
3) grant A new wish every time I make a wish
Wish wishes = new Wish();
3 -
Sometimes I wish I could just quit everything and start freelancing....but it's easier said than done....5
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1 - I wish clients would make better specs
2 - I wish I was better at asking for specs
3 - I wish I was better at sticking to the specs1 -
Time to lie through my teeth in my end of probation meeting about wanting to keep my job. Wish me luck!
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Last December I discovered the Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times", and my new year's wish was that there be interesting times. This year I wish there be mundane times.2
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I want to start a new website that I can use as a hub for all my side projects.
Will double as a portfolio site but mostly it will just let me share my ideas with friends.3 -
So I get three wishes, right? Great! I wish I lose 3 wishes.
By that logic I start at three, minus one for the wish, and then proceed to lose another three leaving me at -1. So by our logic, we’d be back at 3 due to underflow.
To exploit this, make one genuine wish and then ask to lose two wishes, underflowing again.
It’s all in how you play the game.8 -
Flight mode,work calls
How I wish I could enable flight mode on my phone and still be in a position to get data access but no calls coming in.
Here my wish telcom companies.5 -
What do you think about this assertion: 'When I’m on my deathbed, I won’t look back at my life and wish I had worked harder. I’ll look back and wish I spent more time with the people I loved' ?5
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What does my current job hate descriptive names? Like to the point of active antagonism? We're a subscription based service. Why is SubscriptionExpiration the date you log in? Why does SubscriptionStatus only contain the name and id of product you're subscribed to and nothing to do with an actual status? All I need is the date a user subscribed. Why is this so hard!?!?7
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I really wish Emacs had better integration with Windows. Vim is a wonderful text editor, but it just doesn't do everything I used Emacs for. If it were my choice, I'd only use Linux for everything, but unfortunately I have to use other people's computers since my personal system's hard disk is borked, and it's really unfortunate how poorly it works even with Cygwin. Oh well, can't have it all I guess.2
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1. I wish you can help me find my Dev Jasmine
2. I wish she comes with Dev Abu/Iago
3. I wish you can be my friend Dev Genie
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I despise services like WhoisGuard; I search for the information of a domain because I wish to inquire about something, not because I wish to spam the bloke.3
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90% of my homework and assignments this week are essays/writing assignment and I can't get the motivation to do them. Programming homework is so much better.6
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1. I wish for a timestopers watch that wouldn't let you age.
2. I wish my pocket always had exact change for what i wanted to buy.
3. I wish i wouldn't have to explain what i do for a living. -
TDD shows you just how much "junk" you've added to the codebase before without TDD. Then it becomes TDD refactoring. Wtf, what a mess. 😑4
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Is there some app that can record my internal rants and conversations?
The problem is I only have them in spurts when I'm outside or not at a desk and then can't remember then if I want to write them down later. Plus I think if I were writing them down as I thought it out, it would disrupt the flow...6 -
!rant
I wish there was more support for porting Ubuntu mobile.
I wish I was experienced enough to port it myself(at least to my phone)1 -
* before joining platform dev team *
"I wish I could always install the latest sw; then I would have all the cool stuff…"
* now *
"I wish I didn't need to live on pre-beta; none of my tools work properly anymore…" -
I wish I didn’t have the ability to feel emotions - being completely emotionally blunted… no feelings except only the mechanism for getting things done that I need to get done. I wish I could just switch them off forever… I would never need anyone. It sounds really nice. People upset me10
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Hell is: having a high tolerance to caffeine. Meaning coffee and energy drinks do nothing for me.
I'm so sleepy.6 -
I wish id start a inventory tracking system. I am forever forgetting what i have and where i put it.
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