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Angry customer (😤): Your software is still too slow!!!
Me (🙄): It's running good all in all. Let's divide this into smaller aspects. Which steps do you need to perform faster?
😤: Every step needs to be as fast as google!
🙄: But our software ain't google, not even to mention your infrastructure
😤: Everything needs to run in 2 seconds!!!
🙄: You aren't helping in any way. We need something to grasp...
😤: It's all your fault.
📴10 -
Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄5
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Pm: Can you make a prototype in 3 weeks?
Me: Sure, but just for the sake of demoing something to the customer. It will take more time for production ready code.
(3 weeks later)
PM (to customer): We can sign you up today and you can use it tomorrow.
Me: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄6 -
How i listen to songs while coding:
Take a headphone, using it, start coding..., after 2 hours, damn i forgot start the music 🙄16 -
No-code platforms always like to forget that writing the code is *literally* the easiest part of software development 🙄15
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Wearing devRant tee today! Entire train car was looking at me like wtf is devRant 🙄 And then I met my manager in elevator 🙊
8 -
Writes program.
Doesn't comment code.
*Yeah totally gonna remember everything* 🕶
*5 weeks later*
what the heck was I writing.? 🙄😥😭7 -
who of you posted that telugu character that crashes the iphone?
Thank you very much i couldn't use devRant for an hour 🙄😤8 -
Creating PHP Sites in class:
Teacher: Right guys open your DreamWeaver Code
Me: I found it easier to use Sublime, Just need to do the CSS
Teacher: I don't think you can create a style sheet without DreamWeaver
Me: 🙄🙄🖕👏👏👏👍28 -
That feel when you Google your problem and the first result is your own stack exchange post without any answers 🙄4
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When people call themselves a "professional web developer," but all they do is set up a Wordpress site with a custom skin. Alright then! 🙄6
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With all of this Microsoft blacklist and master bullshit, I wonder when will someone protest for git push/pull to be changed due to sexism 🙄🙄🙄7
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Me: what's makes your project awesome?
Friend : we use machine learning
Me: Anything else
Friend : Nothing
Me: 🙄3 -
LinkedIn messages from recruiters saying I'm the perfect fit for a job that requires 3 languages I've never worked with 🙄9
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Guess who managed to assign the same IP to two devices and spent the last hour trying to figure out what was wrong 🙄6
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Going to system engineer interview expecting technical questions. Very nervous.
First 'technical' question "what does DDoS stand for?"
Second "what does LTE mean?"
😐😐😐🙄🙄😏🤣😄😅😃 Gonna nail this interview.2 -
I think: "please send us an email"
is a polite way of saying
"please fuck off and don't call again".
May be I'm wrong 🙄8 -
Every time I get a new phone I swear "this time I will keep my browser clean".
One week later dozens of _interesting_ taps opened. 🙄6 -
The worst kind of team member is the one that won’t follow and can’t lead. So obviously can’t lead 🙄!
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I haven't watched a single episode of Game Of Thrones. Will the society accept me? 🙄 Who all are with me?17
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From a gitlab blog post:
"You wouldn't copy and paste an answer from StackOverflow, without understanding it, (...)"
No.. never....... 🙄1 -
Hey guys just completed my third pen at codepenio... what do u think guys 😅🙄🤔 https://codepen.io/imshubhamsingh/...8
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I booked one domain for my client.
Which is mi*****.***
Now he want new domain with following change
Mi*****.***
😑🙄😏😥2 -
didn't think it'd ever happen but I had to talk a client out of having background music on their site 🙄6
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Why the fuuuck does this happen to my half a year old computer? 🙄
PS. don't judge, this is just for gaming. Linux otherwise.
18 -
Copy-Pasting code from the StackOverflow into production code is like chewing gum found on the street. 🙄1
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I was fixing an issue where I have encountered a Java class written by a recently hired senior developer with 1K+ lines of code.
Inside that class....
One Method => 1K lines🙄🙄
I don't know where to bang my head now😐😐6 -
Linked Jobs:
- Notification : a new job just published.
*The title is interesting, I open it*
- 1430 candidates applied for this job.
Shit 🙄 -
- Hey , what do you study?
- Computer Science
- So Cool! Can you make me a website for my society?
- 🙄🙄🙄6 -
Anxiety sucks.
Clonazepam sucks.
Insomnia sucks.
Maybe coding would be fun again if I just got out of this neurotic rut.🙄
And..... it’s Monday now....7 -
3 hours debugging on React server rendering....
The problem is I use class=“app” instead of id=“app”
Hahahahaha 🙄1 -
Tomorrow starts my 5th semester at HSLU (Hochschule Luzern). Halfway done! Wish me mental strength🙄8
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If you're close to getting the application ready for release date and they just change the business process 🙄1
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Have you ever applied for a job and then spiraled after a few days of not hearing anything back?
Me too! 🙄😭😭😭14 -
My office gets seriously freezing at night 😐 stupid uk and its freezing nights 🙄
Really hard to program when it's near freezing
9 -
That one day when the only thing you are doing is fixing other people's code to start working on yours 🙄🙄1
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Thanks Android 14. Now we have to install outdated apk's with adb and a flag 🙄. May apply to devRant too.17
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I can't motivate myself to read or understand all these papers and tutorials... I wish I had a backup brain somewhere. 🙄1
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Having to pay a "Setup fee" for your hosting that you have had for the last 3 years ... what do they need to setup 🙄2
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Advertise junior level salary then proceed to reject you since they're *looking for someone more senior*
🙄3 -
Santa if you are reading this.....
I want a gift for Christmas :/ Come on I ain't getting holidays for Christmas.....a small gift isn't big thing to ask for....🙄🙄2 -
Decrypt api responses in an iOS app which my “senior” dev thinks it is more secure to encrypt responses in stead of setting up a proper SSL cert (they use plain http to save money 🙄)
They disable the encryption since it does not function as we wanted and set up SSL instead🙄4 -
I was so sleepy the other night, I wrote my email like :
email_primary@email_secondary_domain.com
🙄🙄🙄 -
I know that you two guys don't get together well. Shall we(the management team) send you guys for some team bonding training sessions? Whatttt?? 🙄🙄🙄4
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So we have this really annoying bug in our system that customers keep complaining about. I've explained in detail, multiple times, why the part they think is a bug is not a bug and the workaround they keep asking me to apply doesn't make sense, won't fix the issue, and won't even stick (the system will notice that the record they want me to delete has been removed and it will repopulate itself, by design).
I've told them what we need to do as an actual workaround (change a field on the record) and what we need to do to properly fix the bug (change the default value on the record and give proper controls to change this value through the UI). We've had this conversation at least three times now over a period of several months. There is a user story in the backlog to apply the actual fix, but it just keeps getting deprioritized because these people don't care about bug fixes, only new features, new projects, new new new, shiny shiny new.
Today another developer received yet another report of this bug, and offered the suggested workaround of deleting the record. The nontechnical manager pings everyone to let them know that the correct workaround is to delete the record and to thank the other developer for his amazing detective work. I ping the developer in a private channel to let him know why this workaround doesn't work, and he brushes it off, saying that it's not an issue in this case because nobody will ever try to access the record (which is what would trigger it being regenerated).
A couple hours later, we get a report from support that one of the deleted records has been regenerated, and people are complaining about it.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄3 -
Programming while drunk:
if (not drunk !== yes) { then return dance.png } else {return 'idk"}
I shouldn't rant while crunk let alone program 😂🙄5 -
Some of these apps might be using your microphone to extract your conversation and display you related Ads. 😱🙄
11 -
I saw a lot of project ideas relate to music. But we don't listen music nowadays. Our phone doesn't even have a headphone jack.🙄5
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Is your office too cold? Centralized aircon and you can't control the temperature? 🙄 hard to type when it is too cold6
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That moment when you finally realise that the client sends dimensions as top, left, bottom, right, but your code expects left, top, right, bottom... 🙄1
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I have 2 laptops. I use 1 for coding and 1 for gaming.
For some reason, the coding laptop keeps giving BSOD once in a while, but the other one never gave BSOD.
Believe me, I've had it longer (the gaming one), don't shut it down or restart often and they both run the exact same windows build versions! 🙄🙄4 -
My universities computers. They have really high end hardware but are bottlenecked by the shoddy network architecture and software being used by the IT admins. 🙄4
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I don't wanna blame Linux. I am just gonna blame my HP stream 13. You petite useless beautiful blue girl. 🙄1
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When is your birthday?
Comment down,let's see if the birthday paradox is true!!!
Mine is 18 April🙄🙄😀😁34 -
At work I'm surrounded by happy_looking_fucking_around_with__me_and_each_other idiots, literally. Fine I'll just work for money and experience. Jeez 🙄1
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Apple fucked me, their latest iOS version broke my app 🙄 10.1.2
Then my phone gap plugins decided to update to .. they also don't work 🙄
Absolute mess only way I knew was rolling code back to a version that once worked... Thanks github!3 -
That calculation engineer who knows some programming and thinks he can tell you how to do your job 🙄
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Ugh, meetings - the productivity vacuum of corporate life. Like who's got time for those never-ending discussions and PowerPoint slogs. 🙄💼6
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I know I'm going to get the blame 🙄...
They transferred a domain didn't tell me they were doing it then now they are with 123reg ... shit web hosting
On top of that the dns wasn't transferred over so currently the old site is dead 🙄1 -
Developers who insist on naming all variables in a program after characters from Twilight. Ugh. You know who you are... 🙄🔫1
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What do you guys think about backend developers who design&implement POST requests with URL parameters? Is this even legal? 🙄14
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oh boy, here we go again, another hacker news "who is hiring" thread... can't wait to be ghosted / ignored by a dozen+ companies...
🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡🙄🤡1 -
In the pursuit of sobriety and authenticity in friendship, all I am left with is a deep loneliness caused by people pleasing and being used 🙄8
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When your boss is hell bent on shoving the the words Hadoop , architecture and Revamp in every 3rd sentence. 🙄4
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You know you are in trouble when you copy paste error on google and end up seeing code block from where you copied code 🙄
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Dev superstition:
Before installing anything I still cd to the root directory.
Like it even matters 🙄2 -
Why do I even spend time writing TODOs in my source code, I actually end up doing those after an hour or so. 🙄2
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Well I got a degree as a chemist 🙄. Not something I would do for 40 years but for a while it's okay2
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Been working for a client in different time zone. We are an offshore team of 18 ppl. Now we have 2 an hour long meetings daily, one is our internal and the other is with the client.
Today I mentioned that we are consuming 36 man hours daily just in the meetings and they were like, nah man, we are good. 🙄🙄 -
One of our vendors sent a sample implementation in a .asp file.
My lead tried to plug that into our Java stack. 🙄1 -
When your docker project finally runs on Linux containers after two days of debugging because Visual Studio added a \ instead of a / to docker-compose 🙄😅
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when u see a bootstrap template use !important on multiple classes and id's u know someone kinda fucked up😅🙄5
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Why can't html just render boxes with backgrounds next to each other without lines in between at some zoom levels 🙄
5 -
I just found out Microsoft scrapped Desktop Experience in the new Windows Server... Welp I guess there goes my plan for a shared Windows dev setup 🙄9
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!rant
I just wonder if the devrant devs had any confusion, errors or simply fuckups because they used ++?
🙄5 -
The JavaScript Guy (his words) half joking again about replacing the relational database with a document store 🙄2
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What frustrates me 'most' in coding is, putting comments...🙄🙄🙄
The frustration seems to go more than the 'most', when I don't find them and wonder, what the heck! 😠😠😠8 -
Seriously going to make submit buttons only work if you double click them. Jokes, I disable after the first click, I disable... 🙄
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How is it okay for elders to swear but not for kids? Kids are gonna learn to swear someday anyways 🙄10
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I finally got the clarity on my relationship.
Atleast I think I did.
I am officially done with Microsoft. I mean the only useful and sensible products left are Outlook and Excel.
Funnily both the products have hit their maturity stage and now MS is trying to bloat them. But still to a reasonable extent.
What other MS products are worth touching? Wait.. I legit can't think of any now.
Next on tagret, Google and Apple. Lol
Perhaps only Apple product I ever want to interact with will be (future tense) Apple Music (well because lossless and the fact that that the product is the reason for existence of the company).
NGL Steve had the right vision on Music. They tagged things right in their iTunes catalogue. But then MTV happened.
And now Spotify is the new MTV. Fuck me in ass someone.
So only Google? Well I have already sold my soul to them. What's more remaining?8 -
Request:
Do not handover project to client before deadline.
They will ask to add minor feature that will cause major bugs.
Happened with me🙄1 -
Angular 5 is on its way?!! FUCK?! NOW I'LL HAVE TO UPDATE AN ENTIRE Front end I've JUST BUILT... 🙄... I miss JAVA😴😥3
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What if we could write the problem statement and the AI would write the code for us, or give the program taking the outputs as input 🙄🙄🙄🙄4
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Apparently the barn scene I watched as a kid from high plains drifter is not to be found on YouTube ,🙄
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C++ Dev Learning Python : Have some ice-cream darling.😁
Python Dev learning C++ : Why darling why ! 😮
Meanwhile Darling - 🙄3
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