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Me : So how's the deadlines here?
Coworker : There are none.
Me : ?
Coworker : if they are unrealistic, we push non-working code. Prod comes up with bugs, and we get a new sprint to resolve those bugs.
Me: ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯10 -
She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉3 -
Fucked up an sql join once and accidentally deleted myself from the employee table in the prod database. So I kinda fired myself... Good thing we had backups. 😂2
-
Why is this CSS not updating???
Ctrl + F5
Still!!!
Let's check in incognito..
F*CK, really!!!!
.... Ooooooh right I'm checking prod not dev.9 -
Expectation: arrive at work, everyone in awe of devrant swag, social status++
Reality: arrive at work, prod failing, get blamed, employment status--
7 -
Hi client,
I am not able to login to your prod server. Can you please verify the following:
Host: x.y.x.y
Port: 1234
Username: ABCD
Password: password1234
Thanks,
My idiotic coworker8 -
my team: "lets get rid of materialize it doesnt work too well w/ react"
my team: *deletes materialize*
my team: *accidentally pushes to prod*
me: "guys why are we back in 2003"
19 -
Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Don't push to prod today!
But if you do,
Make sure you
Test it all the way!
Happy holidays, y'all!4 -
Someone called me an incapable, arrogant bitch today because I didn't let them test in prod. We had words.
The monologue from Full Metal Jacket went through my head at one point, and I almost didn't mute my phone in time before I said it rather than just thinking it. I'm not sure I would still have a job if I did, but I kind of wish I didn't mute my phone.13 -
🎉 As of today, I can proudly count myself among the members of the "Killed Prod on A Friday Afternoon" club. 🎉16
-
5th June is World "Environment" Day..
Reaction of Software Engineer -
Which one? Dev, Test or Prod?
😂😂2 -
Just reduced 900 lines of horrible code into 106 lines of less horrible code..
QA: do those 106loc really do what the 900loc did ?
Me: yes
QA: really?
Me: yes
QA: are you sure?
Me: NO. I was lying. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you should run it and find out.
QA: *immediately releases for prod*3 -
Don’t you just love it when you do the following in a prod database 😅
UPDATE table SET someImportantField= NULL; WHERE abc = 123;
If I don’t laugh right now I’m going to cry.5 -
Got some customers not paying their bills?
Play russian roulette with these projects on the prod. server:
# [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf /<path_to_project> || echo "*click*"9 -
Devs: We need access to PROD DB in order to provide support you're asking us for.
Mgmt: No, we cannot trust you with PROD DB accesses. That DB contains live data and is too sensitive for you to fuck things up
Mgmt: We'll only grant PROD DB access to DBAs and app support guys
Mgmt: <hire newbies to app support>
App_supp: `update USER set invoice_directory = 54376; commit;`
----------------
I have nothing left to say....7 -
Writing customer passwords fulltext into the prod database because "it's easier to associate them with the user"2
-
Root: Fleshes out missing data in some factories. Tests affected code and finds the change breaks some specs (but shouldn’t).
Root: Reaches out to spec author.
Root: Messages thundercunt (the ticket’s code reviewer) on slack about the specs and the reaching out. No response.
Root: Works on another ticket while blocked.
Root: Logs off.
Root: Talks with spec author chick in the morning. Decide to pair on specs later.
TC: Still no slack response.
Root: Gives update in standup. Mentions factories and broken specs. Mentions pairing with spec chick.
TC: Still no slack response.
Root: Pulled off tickets in favor of prod issue. Gets ignored by everyone else diagnosing prod issue. Investigates prod issue by herself. Discovers prod issue isn’t from bad code, but bad requirements — code works as requested. Communicates this with details. Gets ignored by people still diagnosing prod issue. Tries again. Gets ignored. Gives up. Works on non-blocked tickets instead.
TC: Still no slack response.
Hours later:
TC: Comments on PR telling me I broke specs (how did I not notice?), that I need to reach out to spec chick and work with her, and that I can’t resolve the ticket until it’s fixed and passes code review.
TC: Still no slack response. (21 hours later at this point)
TC: Logs off. Still no response (25 hours at this point)
———
Ignoring the prod issue for the moment…
I broke specs. No shit.
I need to talk with spec chick. No shit.
I can’t resolve the ticket. No shit!
Bitch, I told you all of this 21 fucking hours prior, and again 3 hours prior during standup. But no, I clearly “don’t communicate” and obviously have no bloody clue what I’m doing, either, so I need everything spelled out for me.
And no, I didn’t resolve the fucking ticket. Why the fuck would I if it still has pending changes? Do you even check? Ugh!
And what the fuck with that prod issue? I’m literally giving you the answer. fucking listen! Stupid cunts.
Why is it all of the women I work with are useless or freaking awful people? Don’t get me wrong, many of the men are, too, but I swear it’s every single one of the women. (Am I awful, too?)
Just. Ugh.
I can’t wait to leave this sewer of a company.
Oddly still a good day, though. Probably because I talked to recruiters and sent out my resume again.15 -
Hello! I am Johnny Knoxville and tonight on Jackass...we test in prod with no back out plan in place...and then I will glue Bam's hand to his dick while he's sleeping.6
-
MOTHER FUCKER IDIOTS!!!
SO I HAVE TO ROLLBACK OUR PROD DEPLOYMENT BECAUSE IM THE ONLY FUCKER WHO UNDERSTANDS THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "DONT PUSH UNFINISHED CHANGES"?!?
DAMN!!!! FUCK YOU ALL...10 -
Colleagues sharing passwords.That was a big fat NO when I was a sysadmin - and for a good reason. But now, since I'm closer to development, it feels like no one really cares about the passwords. If I tell my colleague I'll take 10 minutes more because I can't log in, he OFFERS me his credentials. And sends them over saying "in case you need it". [the next day the same colleague was complaining his account is locked out. Oh, wonders! How on Earth...!]
But seriously, password sharing is a serious problem. I would fire the person on spot if I caught him sharing his credentials! This is the 8th deadly sin! IDC if they are for non-prod. Most people reuse their passwords in multiple systems, and even non-prod envs can bring the prod down! Or worse - install a trojan.15 -
Kudos to the devrant team for epic response time!
<50min from bug report on Twitter to workaround on prod!2 -
PM (on slack): "we’re about to deploy to production".
Me: "ok"
… I keep on working on a task / remain available for any post deployment issues …
PM (5 minutes later on slack): "deployment broke production! We need to handle this NOW!"
My dev colleague has already called it a day, but I’m still online
Me: "ok I don’t have access to prod, can you describe what’s going on? I can’t reproduce on any other environment"
PM: …
10 minutes go by
Me: "anybody there?"
PM: …
45 minutes later, I realize PM is offline
The following day:
PM: "ok we got prod running again" (turns out it was client’s fault for not updating a config we as devs can’t access)
PM: "but we’re REALLY UPSET! You guys need to be available to intervene for any issues following deployment to production! At least one of you should be available!"
Me: "but, but…" 🫠14 -
The riskiest dev choice...
How about "The riskiest thing you've done as a dev"? I have a great entry for that. and I suppose it was my choice to build the feature afterall.
I was working on an instance of a small MMO at a game company I worked for. The MMO boasted multiple servers, each of them a vastly different take on the base game. We could use, extend, or outright replace anything we wanted to, leading to everything from Zelda to pokemon to an RP haven to a top-down futuristic counterstrike. The server in this particular instance was a fantasy RPG, and I was building it a new leveling and experience system with most of the trimmings. (Talents, feats/perks, etc. were in a future update.)
A bit of background, first: the game's dev setup did not have the now-standard dev/staging/prod servers; everything ran on prod, devs worked on prod, players connected and played on prod, etc. Worse yet, there was no backup system implemented -- or not really. The CTO was really the only person with sufficient access. The techy CEO did as well, but he rarely dealt with anything technical except server hardware, occasionally. And usually just to troll/punish us devs (as in "Oops ! I pulled the cat5 ! ;)"). Neither of them were the most reliable of people, either. The CTO would occasionally remote in and make backups of each server -- we assumed whenever he happened to think of it -- and would also occasionally do it when asked, but it could take him a week, sometimes even up to a month to get around to it. So the backups were only really useful for retreiving lost code and assets, not so much for player data.
The lack of reliable backups and the lack of proper testing grounds (among the plethora of other issues at the company) made for an absolutely terrible dev setup, but that's just how it was, and that's what we dealt with. We were game devs, afterall. Terrible or not, we got to make games! What more could you ask for!? It was amazing and terrible and wonderful and the worst thing ever, all at the same time. (and no, I'm not sharing the company name, but it isn't EA or Nexon, surprisingly 😅)
Anyway, back to the story! My new leveling system also needed to migrate players' existing data, so... you can see where this is going.
I did as much testing and inspection of my code as I could, copied it from a personal dev script to the server's xp system, ... and debated if I really wanted to click [Apply]. Every time I considered it, I went back to check another part or do yet more testing. I ended up taking like 40 minutes to finally click it.
And when I did... that was the scariest button press of my life. And the scariest three seconds' wait afterwards. That one click could have ruined every single player's account, permanently lost us players ...
After applying it, I immediately checked my character to see if she was broken, checked the account data for corruption or botched flags, checked for broken interactions with the other systems....
Everything ended up working out perfectly, and the players loved all of the new features. They had no idea what went into building them, and certainly had no idea of what went into applying them, or what could have gone wrong -- which is probably a good thing.
Looking back, that entire environment was so fragile, it's a wonder things didn't go horribly wrong all the time. Really, they almost never did. Apocalypses did happen, but were exceedingly rare, and were ususally fixed quickly. I guess we were all super careful simply because everything was so fragile? or the decent devs were, at least. We never trusted the lessers with access 😅 at least on the main servers where it mattered. Some of the smaller servers... well, we never really cared about those.
But I'm honestly more surprised to realize I've never had nightmares of that button click. It was certainly terrifying enough.
But yay! Complete system overhaul and migration of stored and realtime player data! on prod! With no issues! And lots of happy players! Woooooo!
Thinking back on it makes me happy 😊1 -
It's really fascinating how managers can act surprised over a critical prod issue especially after the whole dev department warned them repeatedly.3
-
Trying to exit a bash script with 'halt'
on a friday afternoon
ran w/ root
on a internal prod-vm
which I did not had the permissions to turn on again4 -
166 lines of if else hell just to decide between prod and sandbox.
Run the same query multiple times to get the same data.
And that's all written by our code review team lead.
What a mess.2 -
That moment when you make a bug fix on your local dev deployment and keep refreshing PROD web page hoping to reflect the change.1
-
any hardcore peeps like this? :P
gotta commit b4 I do anything..
gotta push b4 I do anything..
gotta deploy to prod b4 I do anything..
God! kill me already 😭😭😭😭
5 -
# 3 weeks ago
customer informed us that the app will get quite some load since the beginning of July
# this monday
last spare hdd on database's SAN died.
I told everyone another hdd is to follow it very soon eithet whether nothing is done at all or if anyone attempts to touch the san array [cuz that's what redundant raids do...]. No fucks given by anyone, no attempts to have maintenance and planned outage within 24 hrs....
# this morning
another hdd has failed and now 1tb of data is lost. No way to restore backups cuz there is no database to restore them to....
# 20 minutes later I head out to get some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun week!
So... The planned heavy load [and revenue along with it] is not gonna happen... I guess they are gonna ha a week long outage.
That's what happens when you ignore warning shots fired at your face.2 -
Guys, when you have to manually edit records in the prod DB, please at least make sure that your overweight cat isn't rolling around on the keyboard...8
-
Me: I prefer to make sure dev is fully separated from prod, that way if we fuck up, it doesn't matter.
Manager: It's fine, the service isn't fully deployed and dev/prod are named differently.
Me: runs ansible script to stop dev
*prod breaks*
Me: Huh. Wonder why that happened.2 -
I bypassed SSL certificate verification because that goddam certificate had some flags which my JVM did not understand and threw errors. Still in prod after 10+ years 🤐1
-
Making an infinite loop of cat /dev/urandom for anyone trying to login to server via ssh as an April Fool...
But on prod server instead of dev server...3 -
Someone tried to push a patch in prod while demo was going on in front of CEO.
Good thing they locked the repo before the demo. 😏3 -
I did it.
I finally fucked prod.
And had to do open heart surgery on the service to get it unfucked.
Shit happens. Luckily its internal prod only...10 -
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSIGNING PROD BUGS WHEN I'M ON A FUCKING VACATION ?!?
Oh wait I wrote that code...
Welp6 -
"Eh, just push it to prod and see if anything breaks"
The entire system went down for hours, estimated loss north of $1M.5 -
That time I thought I crashed a prod server which I had no access to physically turn it back on. Turned out it was doing its weekly reboot. Scary 3 minutes.
-
Half way through a 2 hour deployment, and a fucking test fails.
Yes, it takes 2+hours to run the tests.
Rerun in test environment: pass
Rerun in prod: pass
Rerun changed test in prod: fail..
Why, why you got to hate me for?
I love it when production is the place where config gets changed.5 -
— Filezilla *open prod ftp*
— right click a file *edit*
— edit the file, save,
— filezilla *save new file*1 -
Me: eh probably shouldn’t push to prod on Friday, maybe not even before the first...
Co worker: no balls
Me:
-
Never update prod stuff on a Friday afternoon.
After the team lunch.
With cheese fondue and white wine.1 -
One day after the release of the website of a medium sized travel company, I made a big mistake by accidentally taking it offline for 1 hour during peak usage (~150 simultaneous visitors).
Turns out deleting the wrong image transformation cache folder in production can hang up the PHP process for taking too much load on regenerating image transformations.
The designer of PHP probably took a big load too while creating the first draft.9 -
Programming music:
scarlxrd - HeartAttack
https://soundcloud.com/scarlxrd/...
scarlxrd - BANE
https://soundcloud.com/scarlxrd/...
xxxtentacion - look at me! https://soundcloud.com/rojasonthebe...
xxxtentacion - #IMSippinTeaInYoHood
https://soundcloud.com/veronica-mar...
These 4 songs suffice me.
Sub-genre is TRAPMETAL11 -
Deadline : Friday evening
Testing : There is only prod
Deploy : Friday evening
Why : Boss says customer wants it
Me : . . .11 -
4:55: Everything looks good in prod.
4:56: Deploy new feature after all is well in Dev.
4:57: Prod goes to shit!
4:58: Call wife to tell her I'm not coming home at 5.
4:59: Prod looks fine w/o anyone doing anything.
5:00: Leave work.
5:25: Get yelled at by wife for leaving at 5 after telling her I couldn't.3 -
Happiness is when manager appreciates your work and says there are very few crashes on prod now... That feeling 😎2
-
It’s Friday, YAY my week is over....Oh fuck someone wants to do a prod release today, I am so not looking forward to today.
-
Did a nasty thing in prod...
Very nasty.
So nasty even default graph tells me something about going yolo in prod.
Maybe it's weed. But feels like that graph tells me not to trry this shit ever again.
9 -
Discovered yesterday that my boss does tests with production database... and I'm responsible for the fucking backups and he doesn't even care to let me now when so I can at least schedule one at slave. Come on... it's not that hard to let others know or test on your own machine...1
-
Update to my "I broke prod" rant:
- I managed to unfuck it on the same evening.
- Worked fine for one day
- Crashed today morning
- Can't fix it because I had surgery yesterday and am on sick leave currently
=> Probably gonna result in me VPNing into the comp network and RDPing into the prod instance to analyse the failure
Yep, ladies and gents, more open heart surgery on the menu!11 -
This is deployed on PROD(!) from my Senior Dev's app. Have I told you devs how much I hate this guy already?
7 -
Instead of coffee to start your morning, try prod going down on Saturday! It will really get your blood pumping!2
-
Leading a team of 10 people, 5 environments (3 non prod 2 prod) to support, 25 formal deployments per week, and all I have is one fucking repository in fucking svn.
-
I'm preparing a major deployment & what do I see?
SOMEONE MANUALLY EDITED PROD AGAIN
IMO they deserve to be hit on their hands with a stick every time they even think of fucking with it.13 -
Merry Christmas to all the dev ranters out there. My thoughts go out to those on call. May prod never fail and your phone never ring.
-
Me: Why are we spending time building reports for Support? AFAIK they never read or use them.
Boss: Seems they expect you to do it.
Me: Then what exactly are they supposed to be doing? All the issues seem to just escalate back to us.... We should just make sure issues never get into PROD
Boss: I agree, they're always firefighting... we gave them more funding so eventually they should catch up **Me: I highly doubt it, you should just stop hiring monkeys** esp. if we prevent PROD issues.
Me: Yea... we should prevent production issues because someone always has to pay off the (technical) debt and interest rates in PROD are very high6 -
Accidentally killed the ssh deamon on the prod server. I meant to kill my local sshd but confused the terminal tabs :#
-
So I was changing some CSS, but the changes weren't showing.
Was it being cached? Nope
Was the selector wrong? Nope
Well it was the right file yeah? Yup
So after like 10min of scratching my head, restarting the server, etc it turns out I was checking prod instead of dev.
This isn't even the first time this has happened 😑
Guys just remember to keep your dev tab and your prod tab away from each other, like way away.8 -
Been a long ass day, then some later afternoon prepush testing that went long and wrong which led into night - and after all was said and done we had to throw our hands up and say...
https://youtu.be/Qy-Y3HJNU_s
-
I don't know how managers are planning deadlines and counting December as a full working month!
Most companies that I worked with, count either half a month or push the deadline until the end of January when the workforce is back but not here.
Our division manager has promised the customer that the production environment will be ready on the first week of January, without even consulting the team or checking the schedule like WTF!
The person responsible for setting the infrastructure was on vacation for 2 weeks and he didn't hand over the access to production or share the progress done.
Fast forward, the manager went to slack and pinged the whole company with full caps message that the production should be done today.
Fun times :/7 -
Solution for all the problems... Even global warming
Have you tried turning it off and on again...!?? 😌
2 -
I had 2 features I coded pushed to prod today at work! It's my first week at my new job. It made me realize how toxic and detrimental my last job was to both my self esteem and career. I'm so happy!!2
-
Right now, I'm tracing a bug that causes some of our data to be lost.
and I found a table with 'xxx' field on it. ohhh. what is it for?17 -
My first Project is finally ready to be deployed on prod server.... Nervous.... How u guys cope with this stress?10
-
Found this on prod
Don't know who did this but wwhhhyyyy do you need to add foreach loop😅
Just add directly
9 -
Departure: 13.00 Train: test Destination: A1 Delay 18888min
Now it is 15:43 and it is still on...
Finaly poland joins the testing in the prod club!
Station is Wroclaw if anybody is interested.
2 -
If 2020 were a software, everything happened because that one dev keeps pushing untested code into prod3
-
That moment when you realize your team-mate pushes code to PROD on Friday evening
but you are the one on pager rotation over the weekend...
2 -
36 in previous job (sysadmin) - had to run 3 shifts in a row. Boy was I a vegetable in the end....
18 in current job (java dev), when I messed up PROD db -
Holy shit, my first freelance project will be field-tested for the first time tomorrow!
After a few more rounds of fixing bugs, some serious improvements, and some new features additions, I can actually say that I'm proud of the code I've written! It's not perfect, but I definitely like the way it works - AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS!
Knock on wood, hopefully it won't shit the bed tomorrow.1 -
Update Table_Name Set Column_Name = ‘New Value’;
Commit;
I did this on prod and my manager started screaming on me.
Is there any issue in it?5 -
Pressing ctrl+s in sql dev when checking packages.. you accidentally press space or sth and later ctrl s it compiles.. then shit gets real when you accidentaly lock up everything on prod db..2
-
Dealing with stubborn devs who don't understand why non prod apps shouldn't talk to production apps.2
-
I got terminal white-space autism because of the CMS Of Doom.
Forgetting one or adding one too many leads to major problems on prod.4 -
1 Week ago I took down the development version of an internal demo, leaving only the prod one (temporary space issue). Colleagues were told n+15 times via email, face to face, comments on tickets etc. The prod one has also been live for weeks, and again, they were told when it went up.
This just happened:
Colleague 1: practiseSafeHex can you help me, the demo doesn't seem to be working.
Me: *logs in*, *click around* ... seems fine dude. Are you using the correct URL: <prod-url>.
Colleague 1: let me try again and see.
Colleague 2: practiseSafeHex i'm with Colleague 1, were trying to use the demo, and its not working. Can you have a look, we need it.
Me: I just told him, its fine, I think you have the wrong URL <prod-url>. Can you try again.
Colleague 2: No I have the right one, can you check it.
Me: *does nothing*, yep i've had a look at it, can you try again: <prod-url>.
Colleague 2: Ah its back now, cheers.
They are with a customer now, so I won't say anything, when they get back, one of them is being castrated. -
The panic when I overhear my colleague in a meeting "sure I can test it in prod but we normally don't do that..."5
-
Admin home page secured well, but every CRUD page available without admin authentication on prod environment... for at least 3 weeks
-
When a microservice you created does not perform on prod like it performed on the load stage. There goes my week and my self-esteem 😥2
-
Management has bequeathed that it shall hit prod tomorrow, the developers cry 'but it's not ready`. Hush little dev for tomorrow we hit another payment milestone
-
Found this line in code that's been in prod for 10 years
"int kak = object.getValue()"
There is no contextual reason for it to be called kak, which means shit in Afrikaans14 -
When the company puts a 2 week freeze on all prod updates for the holidays , but still makes you show up for work (with nothing to do). 😭7
-
Who the hell deploys PROD environments in a STAGING cluster.....?
Who the hell deploys PROD environments in a PROD cluster and (deliberately) configures them to use a STAGING environment's DB cluster....?
5 -
Setupwars. Show off your epic coding zone setup.
Your biggest oh fuck moment as developer. "I dropped the prod DB"1 -
I broke prod for 10 seconds, and nobody noticed. Also, why the fuck did the alarms not go off? 🤷♂️ 🚨 🙈5
-
https://devops.com/dear-staging-wer...
What the F#*@&$# %#@$!?!?!
This person has decided to skip using staging, because it doesn't correctly reflect prod!
If that's your problem, than why don't you try to fix it? Create a DB with fake data, make one based on anonymised customer data, or even do it on non-anonymised data (with permission of course), but fix the staging env so that it reflects prod!
This is a devops site (it's literally the name!), and instead of teaching you how to make staging exactly like prod, they tell you to do what caused the creation of the staging->prod system IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
There's all these stuff like Vagrant that are literally designed to help you as a dev mimic prod, and you just throw it all out!?
"With feature flags, I can safely test in production without fear of breaking something or negatively affecting the customer experience."
Famous last words.12 -
How come something works absolutely perfectly in dev but not in prod?
I was making a desktop app in election js and everything is working perfectly. No problem at all. But then I create the installer/distributable and nothing shows on the screen. And out of curiosity, I wanted to see the error log and it shows an unknown error, I didn't even know from what thing the error is being generated. And after I fixed that, another problem came with Asana Api. I mean, if it's a public API, why do you have to block it with cors? I hate cors!
And after all of it, there's more to it. I mean, why can't you just show the errors in dev?4 -
So far? Not realizing my load balancer was not set up for sticky sessions... and since this load balancer only existed in prod not in qa or CAT o found out the night we went to install it into prod...1
-
Worst prod scenario experienced - on site in small African country working on CRM/billing system my colleague was testing some new SQL and after finishing decided to drop and recreate the DB. She thinks the process is very slow and suddenly realizes she is dropping the prod DB. In a panic she shuts down the system and starts doing a restore from tape, but is so stressed out she writes "tar cv" instead of "tar xv" and overwrites the backup with the broken DB. Took a while to clean that one up...2
-
Goodbye, imposter syndrome.
Today I patched a StackOverflowException bug (that I myself introduced a few months ago) which caused the prod application to crash the other day.
Now I truly feel like I belong! 😂2 -
Biggest sin? Easy. Pushed directly to master branch and deployed to prod. I should mention it was something very small before I get crucified😂
-
Today I had my first ever prod db fuckup due to too wide where clause in delete query. Spent 8 hours restoring service. It's 02.09 now and I'm finally home, going to bed.
Interestingly enough I've enjoyed this experience... -
When you raise a ticket with your support team that your prod server is currently down and they mark it as a medium request, like dude... seriously?! Get it sorted ASAP paleaaaaase4
-
Working with LEGAL is the worst!
They say yes to all reviews and once it's in prod they want to completely change the whole thing cause they think every user reads the Terms & Condition!
To be honest I deployed 5 times. I have not read that shit once!1 -
In appraisal discussion,
Boss : Give me good reason why should we give you 30% appraisal!!!
Employee ( After logging into prod machine) : I am going to quit this job 😅😅 -
Just delayed a push to Prod. because of this motherfucking shit:
https://gitlab.com/gitlab-org/...
It never occurred to me to even look. FUCK.15 -
Identical configuration.
Application won't find proper base URL locally.
Application will find proper base URL on test and prod instances.
Excuse me, what the FUCK?3 -
Realized I could of prevented an entire day of our team dealing with a prod issue that could've been quickly resolved if I had noticed the Support guy actually restarted the wrong server...
Prod Issue + Friday == BAD... My brain has already logged off as of this morning...
attention to details == 0
Assuming someone else will fix it/do things correctly == 100 -
Angular2 rant..
It's in rc they said, write prod ready apps they said, it will be fun they said.. Arjziglfns.
just started rewriting for rc5 and modules, multiple declarations everywhere fml.
-_-7 -
Let me check Slack
Just before I go to bed
Just in case — OH NO
It’s not what you think
It isn’t like I broke prod
… request makes me cringe.3 -
Does anyone here uses Docker for all the environments (dev, qual, prod)?
If yes, how do you feel about it? How it is?8 -
I have to convert a very complex algorithm form matlab to C , and push to prod in next 7 days 😭
[FYI can’t use matlab to c coverter]5 -
5am now and trying to do a production deployment. It just failed because boss loves making un-approved changes to prod that change entire database schemas. Argh!!
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This condition over here which is never supposed to be true sometimes becomes true, no one know how or why, just change it manually in prod whenever that happens...
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Last day at work: goodbye overnight sessions breeding over some arcane legacy code that blew up in prod or manually restoring dozens of backups because the customer continued to work while systems went down due to power failure.
Colleagues last commit message at that place: It just works (Friday 8pm then shipping the code to prod)2 -
That awesome feeling when you launch your application on prod server....
*after 5 mins*
Customers start calling about dashboard not working.... -
Got through 4 hours of merge conflicts before pushing to prod... I imagine this is how doctors feel during an operation... #ef
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Work: yeah we just all use the prod credentials for s3. Just use the dev bucket.
Me: ummmmm..............2 -
Not sure what's better on Friday:
Fix the bugs and push it to prod so manager will be happy.
Or sit there like a dumb fuck and wait for Monday before touching the code2 -
Just before deploying this to prod found this bug... discover this bug with bunch of print statements
7 -
For a back-end, Java engineer, It's really sad when you are so bored at work that you get excited at the thought of designing SQL views/procs to make prod support easier.
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"Okay, we'll try to explain again why you being able to execute your test cases against prod is a bad thing..."
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Other dev in group chat: we need to stop syncing so much data from prod to uat because it's crashing the uat db...
Me thinking: no really... U just realized it's not a good idea to dump most of the prod db into uat every week?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯4 -
yay!!! Another PROD issue on something that we've had PROD issue on and well should be an easy fix... Cuz the root cause is prolly bc the idiot that implemented the logger had no idea what the fuck they were doing... And well the whole team didn't bother to ask me (and never listen to me anyway).... WHO WOULD PROBABLY SHOW THEM HOW THEY FCKED UP...
BUT ....
¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
Moving my baby into prod this morning. I find that the louder my headphones are, the less I can hear myself freaking out.
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When you need input from your seniors to run a script in prod and none of them are comming in to work that day :(2
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Ran a query on a prod server for 50 minutes before realizing I forgot to put my exclusions in the results... Oops.... New query runs in 1.5min. 4500 rows from the potential 340k rows.2
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Ahhh... Waking up Monday morning.... To see a bunch of text messages... and new ones coming in every second... on my phone because another prod issue that was caused by a weekend release... That was supposed to fix a prod issue...
O well not my code, not my problem... It's nice I guess I'm getting less involved and sorta have my own domain of work. -
i have seen bugs getting into prod but not the local language getting into prod. what language is this?
15 -
People who freak out and think they have been hacked when you send a message to them on the prod server using the wall command should not be allowed SSH access.
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You know that feeling you get when there is a bug in Prod and to identify the cause, you setup your dev environment with the exact same codebase as Prod. But the bug won't show it's ugly little mug in devo...
Yeah, Fucks me up too... -_-2 -
After a long development and you do a live testing you but you forget to update the prod repo. AFkdkskdkdkskf errors is coming. My boss try to kick me 😂😂
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I feel there aren't enough tutorials on "best practices" when it comes to combining server/client tooling in a monorepo.
Having done so this weekend, the tasks involved were:
* using graphql w/ express to serve requests and expose a "graphiql" ide instance
* differentiating build steps in prod vs. dev
* applying middleware in prod vs. dev
* working with a single heroku dyno
Still missing:
* hot reloading
* my general sense of direction -
My company misses the word agile so much, now we are deploying 3-4 times to prod in a day 🤦🏽♂️🤷🏽♂️5
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did on my last project:
1 .Using QA env as dev env
2. Deploy in production not completely tested stuff (90% tested)
3. Run with errors in prod
4. Manual fix in prod
5. Git versioning1 -
Does anyone work on a bunch of local NPM modules wanna describe their workflow for local dev vs deploy?
I’ve got mine but it feels a little trashy. It’s basically one npm script to link all the local modules for dev and another which will npm install them in prod - is there a better way without adding more build tools?1 -
Believe me or not but there are some companies that do test their software on prod and ignoring users complaining.
What you think of this?14 -
There is a serious possibility that our team will need to deploy into prod on a Friday because of a regulatory deadline and 3rd parties not being ready.
God help us -
Every time we have a release, "Release Engineering" stops building our test environments from master. I've been preaching Continuous Deployment for months and here we are with the most broken system. The build actually builds all test environments AND prod from the same branch because "it's easier" for "Release Engineering". So now I have to wait for the code freeze on release and hope RE doesn't fuck up and deploy an untested branch to prod... AND hope we're given enough time to test and debug the next release since we can't right now...1
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Confession: a very important feature of the website I'm developping wasn't working for a certain time. The boss wasn't aware because he doesn't go on the site, and I only found out last week because I needed to implement a new feature that used the previous one. Problem: the bug was only on production, not on local (and of course we don't have test server).
I took advantage of the absence of my boss today to clear the situation by making all of my tests on prod. I hope no customer tried to pass a command today, but it's finally repaired. I am both proud and shameful.3 -
Ok peeps!
A newbie to nodejs and linux VPS (ubuntu) would appreciate any tips you could throw my way on how to push locally developed nodejs webapp to prod in vps server 😊
Thanks!5 -
Should I be even be testing if no one cares.
I keep asking Devs regarding the functionalities of their system for testing and then, realize it's already on Prod even before I test in beta or enable to test in beta.
Do I exist!!!
Now, for the nth time, I have started to test when things are almost there or already there in Prod.
I should keep myself in adrenaline mode always on from now on.
Need to do something worthy.
The worst way to start a new job.2 -
Tfw you find a comment saying something needs to be tested when the system is in prod.
Narrator: they did in fact not test it when the system was in production -
Today's winner of the characters that made me waste hours debugging for too... Dumb roll please...
/
For being forgotten to be added to the webpack config so that my docker builds the prod image correctly...3 -
Some little piece of shit fairy messed with my code.
Made some modifications in a tamplate file, tested in dev everything worked. Pushed it to prod and in one of its cases it displayed the array key of each element. Checked the code, an that was what written in there in prod and in dev too. However that shit in dev (and previous versions in prod) displayed key[0]->name as intended.
So I thought git blame and check where it went wrong... Guess what... That fucking line is the same age as the file itself....
How that motherfucking shit worked, and what had I had in mind when writing that shitcode is a mistery... -
ITS FRIDAY!!!!!! such a long week..... fcking prod issue and new (anti) agile process team wants to implement2
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not me, but my co-workers left del logging active for about 6 months, then one day it became severely slow for finding free filenames to save into.
mine is DROP DATABASE in prod, after that i have been like I will never keep open console to prod -
To ensure everything goes well on prod, the chief QA set an env called 'stable' after prod deployment to stimulate true prod situation. Then we found that some apis on 'stable' crashed more often then those on prod.
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Pushing a project in production without as much problems as expected is a very, very good feeling.
Have a great Friday, fellow developers.1 -
Ops teams that are "assuring" stability of production by being the only ones who can click to deploy to Prod add no value.1
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Realize the migrations of the technical base of application,
Go to the master branch of the git repository,
Open the pom.xml to get the last version of the app (running on prod) and see 0.0.1-SNAPSHOT
Lateral position of security and crying...1 -
This Old Fart looks at webpack prod ver of my code and be like change the way you write code because I can't read it.1
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What can you do if your boss is basically refusing to give you access to a server that you need access to to do your job? It's really weird to me. Only he has access to any prod systems we have. Is this realistic? Is this more of an attempt at staying necessary and needed? I'm pretty fed up with it as I've had prod access at every other company I've worked for and have nearly ten years of web experience .. what gives?11
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I've having issues trying to form a proper branching strategy for my mean stack app deployment.
Heroku creates staging and prod branches for my web app so I'm a bit confused if I need my own staging branch?
Currently I have this: feature -> dev -> staging -> heroku staging (the staging branch seems useless)
Also, Heroku allows you to promote heroku staging to heroku prod, so there's no point in making master push to heroku prod.
I'm thinking of making my strategy to the following, but wasn't sure of any pitfalls or anything I'm overlooking long term.
feature -> dev -> master -> heroku staging -> manual promote to heroku prod.
Any suggestions?5 -
development progress is like chinese whispers; "we have encountered issues and will be delayed" becomes "we'll be ready to push to prod by COB" when it reaches the CTO. /facepalm
-
It takes days to get a review. 3rd notice unanswered. So today it will be merged without review of 5 MRs. We’ll see what breaks in prod anyways.4
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Do you use rust for production apps? if yes:
1. which framework do you use to build the server?
2. how do you work with mongodb?
3. how do you handle authorizations?
4. any beginner friendly project idea?1 -
How reliable or better freebsd is? I was thinking to use it in production server instead of ubuntu 16 LTS. I've heard it has pretty good networking stack and whatsapp uses it in their prod machines.6
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Wish me luck.
Deploying Blazor app for the first time in prod in about a month.
Did tests. Curent infrastructure can hold around 70 concurent sessions with no problems. (probably more, 70 was the limit in my browser).
I tested each sessiuon with 70.000 line table. (Yep whole 70.000 lines for each session with a virtual scroll).
Shit is fast. Too fast even. I'm waiting for other shoe to drop, but so far in simulated tests it's amazing.
Let's talk in 2 month AFTER prod deploy.4 -
I'm doing it !
I WILL run current PROD projects in a preview 1. (Well, at least I will try).
Wish me luck !
8 -
me to myself:
stick with one already
sometimes it's npm run build, npm run prod, npm run production, npm run dev, npm run watch, npm run serve, npm run hot, npm run start.
:D5 -
Looks like someone has an itchy trigger finger when pushing to prod https://techcrunch.com/2016/09/...
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Whats the fucking purpose of our companys dev test and prod env. Dev always only has a single instance. Sometimes clustered services run as cluster on test. Producing headaches because the clustering behaviour couldnt be seen on a single instance and Prod lacks all the nice deployment tools off dev/test. Fuck thinking you could dev then test and prod without any major reconfiguration and headaches. And all because the Storage costs is RETARDEDLY expensive because the backup EVERYTHING with ridiculess overkill. That results in headaches when requesting new servers. Took an old Workstation from the shelves and made it my vm slave so at least i could reliably deploy to test.. Fuck this process
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Ask a client to populate Dev and QA environments with Prod data. They also populated prod with the data two more times.
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Pro tip:
Don't make stateful singletons. Just spent an entire fucking morning debugging because one of those fuckers was trying to use prod, and not the demo environment.10 -
runbook: go manually dig and check some information, then run some sql on the prod database
Does manually running sql on prod database make anybody else feel nervous and gross?7 -
I just thought of an elegant solution to a problem in prod. Basically need to run 2 different versions of a app.
Just deploy it to uat and point it to prod db for the data.
I guess if we were following microservices architecture though we could deploy both versions to prod but we don't....3 -
On pager duty. Getting alerts about New Relic synthetic monitors failing in prod. Freak out. Go to check them out...all of them are pointed at the uat sandbox, not prod.
I don't know how to feel about this. -
String good =
"I'll never give up type systems!!"
+ " Do you hear me?!"
+ " Never!";
bad =
"Can't believe it made it all the way into prod."
% NaN + 3 / '11' -
Has anyone else noticed a trend this summer of os updates completely shafting servers? Just saved my 5th prod server and its getting fucking old
-
PUT method works in dev but not in prod for code ignitor. Stuck on this one from a week. Someone HELP 🥲
(Checked htaccess and PUT is enabled)12 -
One nightmarish project that was doomed from the beginning, had me as the sole developer. I could hardly sleep when we began testing on a separate test system, but with (nearly) all the config stored in shared memory and copied from the production system, I dreaded, half awake, that the production server data base connection was still configured in the test system and that it was shooting all it's test data repeatedly to prod.
Finally drove to company in middle of the night at 4 o'clock. Checked everything was OK, tried to sleep 3 hours before the start of the work day.
This system also had the most hideous memory corruption in some shared memory that was used across several processes and should have been thoroughly protected by a mutex, but somehow, sometimes this crucial map, that was used to speed up the access to all the customer data just contained garbage.
Still haunts me to that day. (Like xkcd's unresolved tension of a non-matching parenthesis - an unresolved bug.
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