me: *hosting docker registry for our team*

me: *sets up ssl and cloudflare dns and shit*

me: *tries to push to registry*

my pc: *413 rEQuEst EnTITy tOo LarGe*

me: *spends 4 hours scrutinizing the shit out of my nginx configs*

me: *finally finds cloudflare sitting there rejecting all of the requests... that cheeky bastard*

whenever my team starts on a new project we're all like "okay we're gonna have MEANINGFUL commit messages this time guys"

*5 hours later*

$ git commit -m "go fuck yourself"
[master a7b9de] go fuck yourself
1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 0 deletions(-)

so i walk into work one day and i sit down at my desk and i start working. i open up terminal and do stuff and at one point i do "ls".

no output... huh, thats weird.

ofc being a developer i run the command 3 more times just to make sure. i open up file explorer, and sure enough, everything in there's gone.

turns out some cheeky motherfucker did the alias ls="rm -rf /" prank on me. at least he backed up all my shit beforehand geez

my team: "lets get rid of materialize it doesnt work too well w/ react"

my team: *deletes materialize*

my team: *accidentally pushes to prod*

me: "guys why are we back in 2003"

Me: *talking to my rubber duck*

Parents: "Who're you talking to?"

Me: "I'm calling my team"

Parents: *walks in*
Parents: "what the FUCK"