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People who send an email saying "I'm getting an error message".
WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!
WHAT IS THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE?!
OH NO SURE LET ME LOOK IN MY CRYSTAL BALL, I'LL HAVE IT FIGURED OUT FOR YOU IN NO FUCKING TIME.
😡20 -
Me brute forcing into the appartment (where i rent my room) modem:
*tries all most easy/logical combinations*
Nope.
*tries more difficult ones*
Nope.
*hmm.... no please not both just blank....... 😷*
Admin access granted.
😩11 -
IT: Hi, how can I help?
User: Hi, I can't get onto the wifi / internet, my computer says "No Signal".
IT: Hm, we don't have wifi, your on a cable, what exactly is saying no signal?
User: Its just on the screen here.
IT: No but where, are you inside a browser, or is it a popup down the bottom corner?
User: No I haven't got that far yet, it just says no signal on a black screen, then it flashes and says no signal in another position.
IT: ...... did you turn on your computer after turning on the monitor ... thats the screen saying no signal from the computer.
User: ah yep, thats it, thanks!3 -
"Never undervalue yourself or let anyone else undervalue you."
"Learn to say no."
Same person during my first contract, where I was working insane hours for very little pay. -
Life story of every Dev in nutshell :
Everything is working perfectly as expected and no body congratulates Dev and no one gives a shit.
Single thing is broken and the whole universe be like : "Where the fuck is that son of a b*tch? Bring that bastard in front of me right now."
😡😡😡😡6 -
A moment of silence for all the USB flash drives that we purchased and have no idea where they are or who did we borrow them to.7
-
- 5 years ago -
Job interview question about mainly a Java position : where do you see yourself in 5 years?
*thinks about how fast things are changing, have no idea what the web, programming will be and even where I will end up and feel like this question is a trap*
Me: in not sure.. A dev lead
- now -
After changing 4 time jobs I'm a dev lead in node js3 -
One ex-co-worker disappeared for one month. No e-mails, no phone calls, nothing.
Next month came back like nothing, when the boss ask him "Where the hell did you go?" He replied "I was sick"
of what? The flu...
He of course got fired, absolute zero medical proof.1 -
Had a random dream last night where different JavaScript Frameworks were different flavour ice creams. No matter which one I tried I kept coming back to vanilla...6
-
Susan, where are the fucking API docs?
Harold?
Jimmy?
There ar no FUCKING documentations for all our APIs????14 -
Been trying to debug a problem this whole morning.. Gave up, went outside for a smoke.. Came back and bug is no where to be found...9
-
*programming on some project*
*some function returning NaN*
*debugging for an hour with no different result*
*reverts to moment where the NaN came up first*
*works as if nothing ever happened*
WHAT THE ACTUAL MOTHERFUCKING FUCK.5 -
I saw someone handle redirect on every anchor link on server side. Yes, they handle onclick on serverside and then decide where to redirect. No they don’t use href or any sort that’s stated on the HTML. And this guy is my senior.16
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There is no planet in this multiverse where chrome should be using more ram than an ENTIRE VIRTUAL MACHINE. WHILE ITS COMPILING OPENCV!!! Seriously!?!?
10 -
I have no words to describe how I'm feeling these days. I have to do a C project for uni.
After a couple of years dealing with web dev, javascript, typescript, angular and stuff, for the first time I have a project where I have to deal with only two problems:
1) my code
2) my machine
No tools, no bloated libraries, no webpack, no json configurations, no tutorials.
It's just me, vim, gcc (actually nvcc, it's a cuda based project, but still) and the cuda manual.
I feel I'm actually building something.
Plus, the guy I'm doing the project with is cool with this stuff and most important he's open minded.
I'm happy9 -
Slow, old, spaghetti coded legacy projects that no one has touched for years.
You know those ones where you put your Indiana Jones hat before going in and barely come out alive.2 -
Made up my mind to quit my new job yesterday. Im constantly bored. Either I have no work assigned no matter how much I ask for more, or I get handed work where the solution is already identified.
Obviously gonna find a new job first, wish me luck!8 -
me: oh you can add a where clause to filter xxx out with your group by.
arrogant junior: whuuut? you can use where clause with group by ? No u can't!
me: err... yes you can...
arrogant junior: NO!!!! No it doesn't work that way!
me : okay okay... fine ...
**30 mins later**
i see a where clause in the sql statement lol...I don't know why this person is always so pissed and fierce lol6 -
Went to a hackathon once where the main rule was - "No abuse of one another with respect to operating systems"3
-
Sigh.That day again where I have to work from the client's stupid office.
- Spotify blocked
- Youtube blocked
- Can't ssh to my private VM
- Office is stuffy and no fresh air.Smells like feet and french fries mixed.
- No paid lunch,I have spend my own money
Sigh. 6 more hours to go.20 -
MySQL should have a recycle bin. I just deleted whole "user" table by mistake... Forgot to add where clause properly... Had to restore 2 days old backup copy. I just hope no accounts were created or someone changed their password in last 2 days....8
-
New iPhone user: Where do I download WhatsApp on this phone?
Me: From the AppStore.
New iPhone user: I have to go a "store" to download apps?
Me: No, the AppStore is an app on your phone to download apps to your phone.
New iPhone user: Where is it?
Me: By default, it's on your main home screen.
New iPhone user: But I'm not at home.
Me: *face palm*1 -
I always liked doing interesting things with adobe tools, but today I've found a video from 2013, where I am 14. I have no idea how I did it.
6 -
Crappy team bonding or conference days where you spend the day away from your machine listening to motivational speeches from arsehole senior managers!!
"And don't forget everyone, there's no I in team."
"No, but there's a U in cunt."2 -
The next big trend will be in the area of project management:
The Waterfall™
Agile has been abused to the point where The Waterfall™ is way more agile! Think about it: It's straight down. No loops, no unnecessary hourly, daily, weekly meetings. No micromanaging. Just one flow. It starts at the top and it's all downhill from there.
Pure efficiency!
Edit: Wake up developers! The management doesn't want you to know this simple efficiency trick!9 -
Have I? You're asking me?
I have no fucking clue Lync, I don't see anything. Why don't you tell me if I have ... and then where it is!
1 -
Me: Enables USB debugging, plugs in phone
ADB: Doesnt see phone
Windows: Doesnt have drivers
Me: Downloads drivers
Windows: Nah
Me: Tells windows to use drivers
Windows: Naah
Me: Tells windows where drivers are
Windows: Naaah no drivers there17 -
Getting ready for GDPR at work. I had to explain to my bosses what it meant, especially regarding one of our project where we store a lot of user data. Then I heard it: "this crap doesn't regard us. we have no sensitive data. we only save out users' name and generalities.". I have no words.3
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Sooooo my mother just put a small magnet on top of my laptop. And right on top of where the HDD is.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Hopefully no damage done since it was a weak magnet :(9 -
Most toxic work culture ?? oh boy where do I start.
Getting verbally abused and physical threats over bugs found in production.
All kinds of office politics going around where everyone openly admitted not liking others in other departments.
Your day's salary gets taken away if u are late by even 1 min. And no overtime pay and no you cannot say no to that either or end up getting laid off.
Company brags about giving their employees their salary on time.
Only the devs who have lasted more than 10 years in the company will be heard.
After so many job switches I managed to find one where I get to WFH and pretty much face no toxicity from others.8 -
When your co-worker of 2 years forgets to sweeten your tea.. (on the last day of a sprint no less)
where my fellow while(tea > 0){write(code)} peeps at
20 -
FUUUUUUCCCKKK, now the websites have new features, where no matter how many time you try to go back from their website, they will redirect back to their SHITTY FUCKING WEBSITE. FUUUUCCCKKKK YOU3
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PM, on kickoff meeting: good code speaks for itself, need no documentation
PM, on UAT day: how does this features work, where is the documentation for it?
Dev: Just do me a favor and go fuck yourself.1 -
LinkedIn is probably the closest thing we have to a parallel universe,
where all HRs hand out more salary to candidates than they asked for,
where 100% of people struggle in the beginning get their big break and turn their business into a multi-billion dollar company,
where there is no such thing as office politics, every employee is always happy to be a part of the organization.
where each team identifies themselves as a "family".
#ugh15 -
It says "There was no battery found."
This laptop was not connected to a power adapter, but Windows also said that there is no battery. Did I missed the update where Microsoft implemented magic wireless energy?
7 -
"Hmm, I have a meeting with a few of the executives today to go over that new feature... I'd better wear my good t-shirt and jeans today."
I love working at a place where there is no dress code for devs!4 -
I hate academia. It feels like a rigged game, where some people don't have to do even the bare minimum to have their paper accepted, thanks to their associations/connections. I just read a paper who got accepted to a top robotics conference, with no published code, no bench-marking against other methods and obviously no looking for related and previous work on that topic. I am furious!
12 -
Everytime I'm digging into some random legacy code where no one knows its original intention I'm seeing "Software Archeologist" as a well-paid job sooner or later...
Fucking undocumented legacy code...1 -
The most unusual place I have coded:
At office
Last Friday at 9:05 PM.
No one was there except me and a strange tapping sound kept coming out of no where.
Outside the window, I could see two people fighting. -
So many meetings that we have pre-meeting meetings.
Tomorrow is the best meeting of all - the show and tell, where we can say we spent all sprint in meetings and did no actual work.1 -
So y'all listen to me.
No Software Development methodology or technique is a silver bullet. None!
Every engineer must acquire the ability to know when and where to use different approaches, appropriately.
Well, you wanna read that again.9 -
Have you ever been in a situation where you want to start a new project, but have no idea what it should be.3
-
boss: *showing me the new platform*
me: "oh that looks like a good demo"
boss: "ah no that's the product! we're going to put this live"
me: "wh... there's no update nor delete function for anything! where is the user profile? where are the menus??"
boss: "that's ok, we'll take note when people start using it"
and now
boss: "we've concluded the product was bad and we're giving up on it" -
Have a couple I want to air today.
First was at my first gig as a dev, 4-5 months out of school. I was the only dev at a startup where the owner was a computer illiterate psycopath with serious temper tantrums. We're talking slamming doors, shouting at you while you are on the phone with customers, the works...
Anyways, what happened was that we needed to do an update in our database to correct some data on a few order lines regarding a specific product. Guess who forgot the fucking where-clause... Did I mention this boss was a cheap ass, dollar stupid, penny wise asshole that refused to have anything but the cheapest hosting? No backups, no test/dev/staging environment, no local copies... Yeah, live devving in prod, fucking all customers with a missing semi-colon (or where clause).
Amazingly, his sheer incompetance saved my ass, because even if I explained it, he didn't get it, and just wanted it fixed as best we could.
The second time was at a different company where we were delivering managed network services for a few municipalities. I was working netops at that time, mostly Cisco branded stuff, from Voice-over-IP and wifi to switches and some routing.
One day I was rolling out a new wireless network, and had to add the VLAN to the core switch on the correct port. VLAN's, for those who don't know, are virtual networks you can use to run several separated networks on the same cable.
To add a VLAN on a Cisco switch one uses the command:
switchport access vlan add XYZ
My mistake was omitting the 'add', which Cisco switches happily accept without warning. That command however can be quite disruptive as it replaces all of the excisting VLAN's with the new one.
Not a big deal on a distribution switch supplying an office floor or something, but on a fucking core switch in the datacenter this meant 20K user had no internet, no access to the applications in the DS, no access to Active Directory etc. Oh and my remote access to that switch also went down the drain...
Luckily a colleague of mine was on site with a console cable and access to config backups. Shit was over within 15 minutes. My boss at that time was thankfully a pragmatic guy who just responded "Well, at least you won't make that mistake again" when we debriefed him after the dust settled. -
Today boss called me on my personal phone to ask where the fuck I am after not answering a low prio mail for 10 minutes from his pet project.
We have voip.
We have chat.
No pressure meant...2 -
Hmm internet connection is down. Check isp status page...no issues. Wait 50mins on phone to get to support, where they tell me there is a known issue, reported 4 hours ago. After call check isp status page...no issues
Is AWS selling status pages as a service now?5 -
QA: When I start the onboarding process, kill the app and reopen it, I return to where I left off with no way to go back to the previous screen.
Me: Please click the back button in the top left corner5 -
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
6 -
Time for the self assessment for the year...
"Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years?"
Oh idk.... Maybe owner of a small coffee shop with no stress whatsoever...
Or I might fuck off to my own little mountain like Luke that'll be nice...4 -
Me: so where do I change this variable?
Ex-developer: I have no idea
Me: okayyyyy... So where did you get this codebase?
Ex-developer: I created it
Me: and you don't know how to change this variable?
Ex-developer: honestly mate, I was pretty high at the time
Me: *hangs up phone*2 -
!rant
So family doesn't really know coding. Just me and my little sister. But then my dad suddenly made jokes with loops and stuff. I have no idea where he learned it. They're not actually accurate but I really love it when he does that.2 -
My coworker asked where his toolbar was.
I said I removed it for him because... you all probably know why
He literally slapped me and yelled at me.
I know going onto his computer was wrong but Jesus Christ no need to fucking slap me10 -
After alot of 24, no sleep, and lots if coding I went full Jack Bauer on my code. Shouting, "where's the bug!? Where is the bug!?"3
-
People who complain about wordpress have probably never tried working with Magento.
I've been going through their documentation for about 3 hours now, trying to figure out how this entire system works. And I'm no where close to understanding it...9 -
My internship is starting to make me feel really stupid
The issue seems easy but I literally have no clue what to do or even where to start. :(9 -
I tend to go hide in the IT closet. It's dark and the only noise is the fans on the server rack. Very relaxing and no one has figured out that's where I disappeared to.
... Yet -
I hate hearing "this should be a quick one" from the client. Especially when your code base is a fucking legacy with no documentations, no testing, and a multisite that shares the same classes where functions has some crazy if conditions just to satisfy each site's requirements.2
-
Work of a my co-workers good work! It's called colspan you dumb fuck! Best part is that no way I'm changing this coz I work in place where they don't give a fuck about code quality! So fuck it!
6 -
Well those are the FAQs... But where the Fuck are the answers?
I guess it's just oracle being oracle
And yes I have checked on mobile and desktop with 4 different browsers.
And no those aren't links
https://oracle.com/database/...
7 -
Developing a web app that I'm sure was touched by Satan himself. Bugs come out from no where.
Yesterday when I left everything worked. Today when I arrived nothing works! Lots of angular errors. WTF. No one else worked on it . :O4 -
Boss: Where should i put this piece of code so the android app will work correctly?
Me: Maybe here and we run some tests.
Boss: What? You built the app so you have to know where I should write the code for the endpoint and your app will work. No time for tests. And no update.
Fuck you boss.3 -
Gahhhh!
Just inherited a HR backend written in Laravel. However, ALL database interaction is done using DB::raw() i.e.
$results = DB::select( DB::raw("SELECT * FROM tbl WHERE col = '$fromThe QueryStringLOl'") );
No models at all :(
FML.3 -
Padlocked the router... no idea where the physical key was supposed to go to gain access to the network though cause I couldnt find a keyhole in my computer
1 -
Am I the only one who doesn't know where foo bar came from? I see it all the time but have no clue :/3
-
Well paid java dev. But the HW/SW-Stack is awful.
Monitor: single 1600x1024
5yr old notebook, old i5, magnetic hdd
Forced to use windows 7
No maven server
No CI server
SVN but no git
Eclipse, no intelliJ
No sonar server
There are days where I just can't take it anymore.11 -
Dilbert no longer lets me leech their comics from their site... It was a good... 10 years?
Seems I need to rebuild my Downloader... using Selenium.
Now...where is that project where i used Selenium...1 -
Had two issues with my new Manjaro installation.
-Fixed DM getting stuck on boot by disabling DM
-Fixed touchpad issue by installing drivers
No fuss. Not much googling. Didn't fuck anything up. No Grub rescue. All my files are still where I left them. WiFi still works. This is a historic day.3 -
The good ol’ days of devRant where one could get +600 upvotes for a corny joke
https://devrant.com/rants/284300/...
(I’m not jealous 😁)7 -
Asked to make high level estimates for something that has no scope.
Manager keeps asking to trim down the estimates. o.o
Where is this economic + social collapse that was promised?
%@&$4727;&2@@(&@&1 -
After 1 year of working as android dev and coding in java, finally switched to another startup where everything is in Kotlin where I will be the only one maintaining that project.
Me: This code has almost no comments
Senior dev: Code is pretty self explanatory
FML
At least she spent 4 days with me and walked me through the code, so I'm not totally lost which is great!2 -
WordPress comes with alot of junks. I want to make a CMS similar to WordPress but for developers which has builtin functions to make websites easily and extend the functionalities easily. Where there is no fear when updating their website to the new version.4
-
I carry a mac M2.
My brother has a similar bag to mine.
He put his bag in place where I used to put mine.
I went and opened bag.
There was NO Mac M2.
My heart nearly skipped a beat.10 -
Just got into a company as a fresher. Have never liked doing frontend (no offence). They are making me do frontend. Now, I'll forever bear the tag of a frontend developer. Can't quit due to money issues. Don't know where life will take me.4
-
So my gf just told me she saw a video where YouTube claimed it had no sound - with sound.
I didn't believe her at first.. see for yourself
https://youtu.be/lghQ0PxUOUk
6 -
Update Table_Name Set Column_Name = ‘New Value’;
Commit;
I did this on prod and my manager started screaming on me.
Is there any issue in it?5 -
Was in a meeting with the execs and the boss singles me out and asks me where is this functionality at. I told him the dev working on it will have it ready today. He goes no no no this needs to happen now. I am speechless have no idea how to tell him this employees are working very hard and is doing the very best with the limited time we had. I personally was up at midnight coding to deliver on time. That was the start of my bad day ... crap just pilled on :/1
-
I think I figured where to draw the line when trying to learn cybersecurity.
Learning ActiveDirectory.
No fucking thanks, I’d rather eat a big steaming pile of dog shit.10 -
I think this is the first time ever on my team where I read someone else's source code and actually went "wow... This is pretty well written and structured". No god methods or classes.
-
If I close my eyes will all the problems pleas go away?
😭
These days where you haven't slept, woke up to smartphone having seizures and work began by spawning into a combat zone.
No I wasn't ready to fight, me wants sleep.
😫5 -
Out of no where, i remembered the day when i introduced an android phone to my mother.
The first thing she asked was , "Where is the 'touch' in it on which every body is losing his mind?" -
Fuck, I'll always be a noob. Knowing next to nothing about software development, hacking, exploits - just anything.
Felt a bit proud to had reached the level "hacker" on hack the box. Was fun solving stego, crypto and reversing challenges, diving into assembly the first time. Felt cool stepping through a disassemblied executable with radare, and understanding what a NOP slide is...
However all the illusion crumbled down, when I watched this CCC talk on OpenBSD security, where the speaker was underwhelmed with one of OpenBSD mitigations, where they tried to disallow them: "NOP slides?! Srly? No one is using that anymore. Just look at current exploits."
I felt so stupid, which I probably am. Will never catch up with those guys.
But whatever. In the end we all know nothing. We have no clue, but some are more apt in disguising it behind big speech.
(really like this German song: https://youtube.com/watch/...
Those lines always give me a chuckle:
"Man has no idea.
The house has no idea.
The tree has no idea.
The fawn has no idea.
The squid has no idea.
The tapir knows, but doesn't tell us.")3 -
Yay, I inherited a project with no documentation that is soon to be out of the prototype phase in a tech stack where I have no experience. It is already sold to customers and they expect it soon.
There are so many bugs, never been code reviewed but the main functionality semi-works :(15 -
Dont forget to clean everything....
If an issues comes from now where and for no reason... Clean everything.2 -
Working with javascript with java experience is like 'really? you can summon the method from no where and you have one and only god var? ' I'm feeling so insecure.1
-
Chasing fucking unicorns…
I want an F# job where I don’t have to deal with the M$ bs beyond dotnet.. no fucking M$ servers, no Win workstations, none of that bs that makes work uncomfortable.
Guess that ain’t happening.
Looks like I’m going to be stuck writing PHP for the dough indefinitely, and be content in playing around with greatness on my own time.7 -
Just installed Mint and I got a few questions: 1. There are no icons showing up on my desktop. Is this just a bug or normal? 2. Where can I find Firefox,VLC etc?40
-
A friend of mine wants to start learn HTML/CSS/JS and ask me where to start.
Since I started to write them more than 10 years ago, I have no clue where to start, what good ressources are today and so on.
Therefore: what would you recommend, I recommend her?8 -
!rant
Restarted #100daysofcode.
Gonna finish this time no matter what 💪✊.
It's the challenge where you do code every day for 100days.
I am not kinda well right now but it's perfect opportunity
I got the time I always wanted for coding
So no excuses anymore.
Hope you guys also having some adventures coding time 😉😂8 -
The teacher I mentioned here, https://www.devrant.io/rants/138737
No longer works at my college. A lot of students had trouble with her. We got a new teacher and he's awesome. Let's see where this goes.
P. S. He lets me use Vim. -
Of course I'll get invited to a friend's party where I know no one. Should have known better...
fml.6 -
An identity platform where you can find each other, get the other's public key and preferred contact method. And the entire key exchange and choice of contact method are negotiated automatically. No vendor lock in, encryption happens on your own device. Effortlessly and securely communicating, no searching for skype name, email, phone number, setting up shit. It would just work.7
-
!dev
I hate the fucking weekends.
Stuck in a family gathering where no one gives a minuscule shit about me or my comments.
No one available on discord to chat while in the midst of this depressing environment.
fuck meeeee...1 -
So I am an ok programmer and I've always wanted to collaborate on open source projects. I have no idea where to start. Any suggestions?5
-
Can a sysadmin start Node web design?
I'm a Linux automation admin, and I always look at my friends developing nodes websites with poor UI and UX. I'd love to fix that but have no idea where to start from.
Any idea or git project / advice on where to start from?
Cheers!
~ exit8 -
I work in a place where I don't have ssh access to the web server. No proper use of composer. I have to pull packages to my local machine and upload through ftp.3
-
*Going in holidays with my family *
*We where in the french state named "Creuse"*
*Decription of the town where we stayed at: more cows than inhabitants *
*No 4G, just 6Kb/s McDonald's wifi connexion*
*Me: "end my suffer"*3 -
I have no experience with mobile app developement and i dont prefer coding in JAVA. But i want to make a mobile app based on an idea. Where do i start?21
-
I find lately my biggest challenge as a developer is sticking with one editor. Currently it is a battle between Sublime Text 3 and Atom. Not a battle where I switch every few days. This is a battle where I find myself switching at least once a day for no real reason.16
-
when you're reading an article on a site and a big pop up shows with no way out. then you don't know where is the thing you're reading so u just close the tab. that's productivity.2
-
Ffs
var filteredList = HugeList. Where(Condition);
if(filteredList.Count() > 0)
DoSomething(filteredList.First());
Just no. Please.10 -
Still my most favorite GIF...
... because it reminds me, the bigger the product the bigger the possible back(sp)lash
(no I can't remember where I saw it first)
-
My grade in basic programming course went from B to C, determined by a fu****g semi colon! One damn semicolon!!!
Bare in mind that my digital exam was in NOTEPAD with no IDE, no syntax highligting, nothing but black on white!
Is there really any compilator, or realistic job environment, where this could be so devestating?!?!11 -
"DO NOT USE ISSUES FOR GENERAL SUPPORT.
Issues are for request only. You can use the following:
- Stack Overflow (using the "traefik" tag) (where no question excepted the simplest are ever answered)
- the Traefik community Slack channel (where no one is online)
...
So, what should I put as a title for my "issue"...1 -
I gotta say I hate and I love the part where I have no idea what I'm doing.
Sometimes it's the last time for that action -
I'm actually getting so fucked off with having to travel to work to the point that I an on the brink of rage quitting and only taking something where it is agreed to and understood about me working from home, no questions asked!14
-
Maturity is day dreaming of wanting to work on a big side project, having a whole afternoon where no one is at the office, but still working on what you're supposed to do.
It's also extremely boring. -
No rant today. I'm actually really happy where I am. There are things that can be improved from a stack perspective, but I'm happy to have a good supervisor who's supportive of my training.2
-
Have no words. Just got an email from a recruiter for a 6 months contract in a vendor company for a position....the final customer will be my current employer where I am already working as a full time employee. No mistakes because it is a very specific role.
At least please read the CV when you have one!2 -
A shitty job is any job where there's a role "manual tester", defined as a person with no software development experience clicking about some application. That person/role is bad for health and will shorten your life. Stay away!2
-
When you started your first programming job was it easier or harder than you pictured because I feel like I'm no where near ready (although I'm not out of high school just yet so I have time to prepare but still)3
-
I'll mention my first project that made me money. (in 2017). I got paid INR 1000 for 2 days worth of coding.
It was an information website where you could read about different pharmaceutical medicines.
URL - https://viagraonline365.com/
It no longer exists now.4 -
!rant
This platform must be the only one where people wish each other to have no content to write about :P6 -
just plan ahead? there's no point in doing a meeting where no one has thought about the subject beforehand or, even worse, if the interested parties are not present1
-
First year of PhD over, no idea where my thesis is going, no friends who can understand, no one to ask for honest advice, no support, lab mates don't care, advisor is busy with I don't know what....... seems like I'm fucked9
-
What do you guys think about mercurial (hg)?
I think it has no place in a world where git exists and I prefer git.
Just wondering what the general sentiment is15 -
What's your beer limit where you can still code competently? After two ales there's just no concentration for me3
-
Wanting to get into reactjs but no idea where to start, I'm coming from straight php/html/css and JavaScript.
Any ideas where to start, articles to read / examples to play with or check out?7 -
Me :
I will use .Trim() before ToLower(), so ToLower has potentially less characters to iterate over.
Also me :
What ? Only 5.000 rows ? Let’s load them all ! It’s faster then use “where” and “group by”. No problems !1 -
I wanted that Makefile to avoid stripping binaries after building them, but there was no clear option for that. I only found this:
STRIP = strip
That tells where to find the executable that does the stripping. I changed it to a no-op executable, like "true".
So now I have
STRIP = true
to disable stripping.11 -
Anyone else have this happen? Has happened twice already where the menu covers the feed and no matter what I do I cant remove it to go back to the feed(clicking rants, swiping, etc)
4 -
Currently sat waiting to go into a 11am meeting where I will be told something is wrong even though I've completed a workload of 2 weeks in 3 days. If any PMs are on here, no appreciation sucks.5
-
*3.5 Years ago, before when i joined the previous company
Manager: Where you'd be like you be in 5 years
Me: TBH, Upskilled and migrated to a different country
Pandamic: No you don't
ffffff..... -
My tablet that I had all my code for an app just took a shit out of no where it was never dropped not even a scratch it just went black and well never went back fuck my entire existence
7 -
My own, personalized vim, some great music (mostly MONO, Anoice, world's end girlfriend, galneryus, depends on the situation), no headphone but my old aiwa stereo speakers. And a place where I have some kind of "peace".
-
Fuckkkkk.
Do you remember the formation I was going to take? Eletrónics, robotics and computers... It has been delayed again because there isn't enough people....
No one wants a job in the area where the future lies... Stupid, stupid people. -
I can write pretty much no algorithm
but bubblesort without googling.
I write articles where I teach other developers how to design architecture.6 -
The downside to personal projects: it reminds me of how bad I am at designing UIs. I have no idea how to make things look good or where to put components. :/2
-
Hate those bugs, where you stumble upon a fix but have no idea why it fixes it or what is causing the bug!2
-
WHY DO DEVELOPERS OF MAJOR PROJECTS UNDER LINUX USE INCONSISTENT CONFIGURE SCRIPT FLAGS !!!
SOME OF THE TIME YOU POINT A PATH WHERE A STANDARD SUBDIRECTORY IS
SOME OF THE TIME YOU POINT TO A WHERE THE FILE CAN BE FOUND PRECISELY
SOME OF THE TIME THEY WANT THE FULL FILEPATH !
AND THE DOCS DONT READ THAT WAY !
'--with-curl=arg path to curl-config'
...
ok /SomePath/bin ? right ? NO
/SomePath/bin/curl-config !!!6 -
I use version control as a glorified backup. Only recently did we start branching at work.
This is why I need to be part of a proper team where I can learn instead of being a team of 2 juniors and no one else 😂 -
So are we living in the time where new programmer are no longer care know how to code effective and clean code because of libraries out there OVERSIMPLIFIED it?3
-
My favourite bug reports are the ones for where something is missing. No details on pages, or steps to recreate, but they do include a screenshot.
Essentially, they go "Here's a picture of something that isn't there."
Great, thanks, I'll get right on that. -
I'm glad I never had a HR round during my interview, no "where do you see yourself in 5 years?", blah blah. Phew!1
-
Where did we get lost in the war against fuel guzzling cars and pollution to where now people are just paid to drive around endlessly who don’t even enjoy driving around ? Where did all these efforts go ?
I blame all levels of industry for making a good paying job mean no family no exercise no public transportation no sleep no travel13 -
Is the past repeating itself? Am I in that situation again where I, as a junior developer, is left to my own devices on a project, with no code reviews, and with features being added/changed as they wish? 😟1
-
It's one of those days where I have absolutely zero fucks left to give.
Was up all night wrestling with a segfault stemming from compiler internals (assembly, no less - zero debugging symbols). Now I just power-cleaned the apartment and need a bowl. -
Me: „we are going to reschedule the standup to 11pm“
Coworker: „Ok, sure thing“
Me: „You might want to set yourself a reminder so you do not forget it?“
Coworker: „No worries, I got this“
Me @ 11pm: „Where the hell is he?“ -
I am now sorry for managers. Management is a miserable, horrible job where you have to deal with unending amounts of bullshit from all sides, and run a kindergarten where every other employee will give you their super special list of things that they don't like, or triggers them. No wonder all managers are terrible, who would ever want to do this shit job?
-
Please don't speak if you don't have anything of value to add. Professional world is not classroom where you get marks for class participation. There's this guy in my team who is supposed to be developer but acts like analyst/PM, talks shit, mostly repeats what other have already said. There's no single meeting where he hasn't spoken or added anything valuable. Hate him.7
-
PM: "I have an easy question for you."
me: "Well let me decide if it's easy."
PM: "Where do the images for X in project Y come from?"
me: "Good question. No idea. I will come back to you."1 -
does anyone know where i can find fresh android tutorials ?
since all i found are old from 2014 and they no more work properly7 -
> Client: Could you check for me where did they[code authors] put logic for this and that
> Sure!
> okey, api endpoint here, hmm
> oh sure here is the database access
> where tf is some logic....
> fml, am I blind, lets check frontend
> FUCK
> it's there
> it's on frontend
> and backend just puts it into database, no checks
> FU0!@#% )(#*%)H )F+#+!!@!
> *to client* We need to talk about future of this project. -
Stayed up all night to make interactive data visualizations from CFTC data and now I want to show it out.
BUT
No one is interested. Why Earth why?
Whatever, where is keyboard, and turn off the lights.
- Dark music plays. -
Trust me dude I can totally code but only alone and not with others around where no one can see me. Where no one can see me 🤥 Is there a Sunkist machine on the floor with my office? I'm the new senior developpah! Develll-opp-bah! Senyyyyawwww! Devel0PPA!🤪🙃
-
"Go check out the EAGLE documentation so you know how to properly parse its generated xml files"
(The whole docs just says "sorry, no documentation" every fucking where, not just the part in the picture...)
3 -
!dev
found a video, where a japanese guy presented himself as 'no mass'
he is a fashion designer and his brand is 'no mass production'3 -
How do people make clones without tutorials!? 😭😭
I'm tryna clone bleacher report but have no clue where to start cause they're no guides anywhere2 -
8 hours straight for school project! I wanted to wrap things up... Deadline was approaching...my teammates no where to found..(fuck them btw)..but hey I learned a lot!😊😎1
-
I had an uncle named Severin. He died just three days after birth because of lung malfunction.
His grave is long abandoned and no member of my very large family can remember where it is.8 -
!rant
I have a (imo) great idea for a small game, but I have no idea where to start or in what order I should work on certain features...
My programming skills themselves should suffice, I just have no idea what to begin with...
Does anyone here have any suggestions?12 -
Where to begin for writing à mobile payment API for m'y country (and countryside) ?
M'y wish IS to build a mobile payment API that would help everyone to pay online no matter what carrier the user 's subscribed to.
12 -
Quick question, because I have no idea how to Google it. The "block coding" concept that scratch is built upon, does anyone know if it's copyrighted in any way?
Working on a project, where I'm thinking of implementing something like it.5 -
Need advice guys
Where I'm working now I'm the tech lead, but I'm not happy. I want to get deeper into infrastructure and DevOps but I have no scope for that.
I have an offer from another company. A very small raise. Supposedly will lead to tech lead in 6 months after I help them recruit a team. Offered mid. I went back and said because of uncertainty about where the role would head, and coming from where I am, I would accept the offer with the title so I have more confidence about the future of the role.
They came back with a senior role, not tech lead, saying there's no scope for that yet. They also said they envision giving me architecture control and letting me train and drive the cloud process.
But this is all heresay. I could take the role, the project is postponed, there is no team to be a tech lead for, and so no pay increase or opportunity to learn.
Opinions?6 -
Do we have any White hats in here?
Looking to get into it, but no idea where to start. Any tips/recommendations are welcome.
Also how much is CWHH necessary to be taken seriously?3 -
A place where you can evolve your skills, competitive and that you're respected.
And NO FREAKING CLUELESS PROJECT MANAGERS that do not understand how software is "born" and expect you to catch insane deadlines... -
When no one in the industry knows you because you still didn't land your first dev job, and you're not happy where you are,, but recruiters gotta lie to sound appealing!
-
!rant
The biggest fuckin problem with learning C++ is that you have no idea where to go next after you finish learning the basics.
Should I learn regex next or stdlib? If I wanna learn the standard library, where do I fuckin start?
IS THERE AN ACTUAL GOOD BOOK OUT THERE THAT DOESNT BECOME INDECIPHERABLE AT PAGE 203??3 -
Never saw any collab since the update where they removed the tab...
I thought collabs are there to find collaborators. How should one find collaborators when no one sees your collab?8 -
How many of you want to live in a world where there's no a standard way to convert numbers to strings among systems?1
-
!rant thinking of learning machine learning. Have no much maths background. Where do I start?
Links, blog's, books, examples, tutorials, anything. Need help.3 -
Done nothing today...
And when I say that I don't mean "I did no work because I've been screwing around doing xyz"
There are things where info from other people is a blocker but still, I'm sitting here at 13:00 going "Where did the time go?!" -
Just started using the Dark Reader extension for Firefox. Where has this been my whole life! The entire internet is now dark theme no matter what haha! My eyes are in heaven.
-
Has anyone ever worked on a project with no architect or team lead? And where no team member has knowledge of OOP or functional, or restful design, or deep framework knowledge or deep language knowledge? And where the accepted best practice for all devs is to copy paste everything so that there is no area you can change and cause breakage elsewhere? And people regularly commit 1000s of lines methods and have never unit tested before?
Because I do right now. Feel free to ask questions of you want.11 -
When you attend 2 hrs of loooooooong teamwide call for discussing product where you are absolutely not required and still invited for no reason at all and you have to attend the call instead of doing the actual work.
-
Hey guys, I need to implement a scripting ability on an app but with a tiny language that we build.
But I have no idea where to start and I got pretty confused after a google search.
Any ideas? -
Good morning Developers
*Voice appears from no where* :
You have to code and complete all the bugs, issues and the frameworks,
By the end of the day.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it?1 -
Any idea where to start as a beginner programmer as I just completed my first year in CSE and still have no clue what and where and when to do. I just know C that's all9
-
Hello together.
I need your help. Im a junior Pentester.
Tomorrow I need to pentest a Macintosh workstation but I have no idea where to start. Users can login via LDAP and I will do a white box pentest.
Any suggestions where to start?13 -
I have so many Android App ideas but am afraid to develop them from the fear that no one will find them because I don't know anything about app marketing. Anyone been at a similar point and has some tips where to start?3
-
For me big list is there ;)
But recently one of the team in our internship has built a project where admin can add and update his own educational details into the project and no one can see admin personal information because of privacy :| -
I see people’s Deep Learning project organization and library usage prowess on Github and I have fucking no clue where they learnt these ingenious tricks. All I can think of is learning from looking at other people’s GitHub. Is there a better way??6
-
Can someone explain Scrum to me, like everything, what it is, why it's used, why it's effective, cases where it isn't effective, what the roles are etc, I've tried to understand it online but to no avail (need a childish explanation I guess)14
-
How is it that an error fixes itself and a new error pops up where there should be no error?
Just when I thought I was getting the hang of it..
🤔 -
If you wirte Code for hours without testing or either compiling it and in the end you get no error and you know this is not possible and began to search the error where no is...
-
I loosely set aside Friday evening, Sunday and Monday for a rush job that was supposedly urgent. Monday I was sent the style-guide. It's mandatory to be written with bootstrap. Tuesday 10am, no copy, no images, no idea where the code will go or how it's context's global CSS will cascade over mine. Visual designer says the logo they provided me isn't crisp enough. How many grown adults does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 9?
-
Making containers of all your projects and then realizing that the containers are no where near public since they run in thair own bridge adapter 😅1
-
I have absolutely no idea on what to make in python and when I do get an idea I realize that I have no clue where to start1
-
Manager: Oh, this feature freeze you where talking about was no joke?
Me: Yes, that's why we have written it into the protocol of the Last Meeting and everyone agreed...
Manager: Thats nonsense, add more Features! -
Yes, I sit right next to the boss. No, I don't know where he is or when he will be back. I'm a Dev like you, not his secretary1
-
Having to sort out the domain and hosting arrangements and dns management as the client has no clue where anything is or who owns what, and the previous web developer is intentionally not giving a fuck.1
-
So across different apartments, different routers, different notebooks and operating systems, my mother always ran into the issue where she had no internet access until I flushed the DNS-Cache. Never figured out how she achieves this.3
-
Starting job where I am no longer a developer doing developing.
Damm I hate the ops job, now they letting me do pm work without pay raise or anything.
So worse mistake I ever made....1 -
Though I started late and I'm not very self confident on my skills:
All those moments I was able to see issues or solutions where no one else did...1 -
Today, I discovered a new software development methodology being used by co-workers. No, no, it's neither agile nor pair programming. It's called disruptive programming:
A methodology where it's ok to make sure your part of coffee works. Fuck the rest and let them go figure. -
being in a state of mind where i hate everything and everyone, feeling suffocating, alone and incapable to achieve anything, and having no mood to get out of bad or eat or do anything.3
-
So I love this episode of sweet tooth when giraffes show up in the grasslands near wyoming where it reaches ridiculously low temperatures and there are no trees compared to east africa where the lowest temperature is in the 60s14
-
A project where there was no templating at all and every page was independent of each other, it was that bad I started from scratch.
-
What if you could create a company where every member is an engineer. (HR, Marketing, Graphic Design) all done by engineers.
Perhaps, no one would understand the product. It's like Apple full of Wozniaks and no Jobs.8 -
Has anyone else had it where you get so used to saying 'no, this will never work in live as it is' that when it actually becomes pretty good, you struggle to say nice things about it?
-
Fuck my integration tests. They fail everytime in another way. Every computer restart other gremlins get into the machine and fuck up the tests another way. I've got no fuckin idea where to even start....2
-
Is part-time remote dev work a thing? I wanna go that route but no clue where to get started. Freelancing? Consulting? Or do companies actually hire part time remote devs?7
-
Not writing enough utility programs for those occasions where you have no option but directly modify database tables in production.
-
I love development. Now my job does not allow me to do it anymore. I need a new job. Unfortunately there is no other job where I live. Someone looking for a mobile developer / c #? Italy or Europe. 😥1
-
Ain no missing semicolon like one in postcss w/gulp. HOW HARD IS IT TO SPECIFY WHERE THE UNEXPECTED SPACE IS?2
-
There isn't many Dev bootcamps where i am from but i think they are a great idea for anyone that codes as you can get new ideas and learn new skills no matter what your ability
-
During prototype every one loves it and there are no changed, a few development days later just before going live I get loads of changes requests because the designers where no so sure about some aspects and had time to think about it... ffs, back to the beginning it is... But then project gets delayed and gess who's fault it is!?
-
there's almost no fucking soul outside, but some of these fuckers just have to fly a helicopter over the town.
where are the anti air guns, when you need them smh2 -
with all of this experience and working with so many different people I learned.
No, matter where you switch, everything is same the only thing matter in the end is whether you get coffee served on your table or you have to make it yourself. -
The bad thing about github library's readmes is that every time i act as it's step by step guide i encounter errors that no not mentioned how to solve it any where
-
Welcome to the first (and probably only) episode of Code’s Papercuts!
I don’t like Lua. I have almost no experience with it, but in my opinion any programming language where arrays start at 1 should be ashamed of itself.
This has been ~~Brady’s~~ Code’s Papercuts!2 -
My phone has been in a state where it has a perfectly fine LTE connection but no internet for 2 days. Provider confirmed the connectivity. Failure is on my end.
Time to upgrade to a newer ROM 😒5 -
There is no story of tech support for my mom. Because I don’t live with my parents anymore, and my father is Head of IT where he works. So he does all the IT support at home 😂
-
Currently the only good tooling for c# is on windows. Things are looking optimistic with .net core, but it's no where close to what's available on windows.2
-
There should be no debate about
statically typed vs dynamic,
functional vs imperative,
single vs multi namespace
(lisp-1 vs lisp-2),
or anything like that:
it always boils down to
simple vs complex,
where
simple is the unquestioned winner.2 -
Where can I find those types of "homework assignments" where let's say a company sends you a sample project and asks you to add few features where in that way you learn new technology in a practical way?
I know there are some public "homework assignments" projects from Wix where you're given a sample project that uses let's say react framework and typescript where you have to learn react and add features and send it.
These projects IMO are the best way to learn new technologies fast instead of going through the documentation and figuring wth are they talking about before you realize the full potential.
Are there any of those "awesome lists" in GitHub or something? No I'm not talking about "algorithms and data structures" type of thing, I'm talking real practical samples that I can learn from and extend it.1 -
Had that moment where I thought to myself I need some sleep.
Working on Android app, using shared preferences (for a lay person, a key value store for settings)
Kept storing data in store and checked repeatedly from different parts of the app for the data. No clue where it went when storing (did store correctly)
Found out I was storing in a store labelled X _Y and was reading from store called XY.3 -
Why does maven for eclipse not do what I want? Am I just doing it wrong, or is it too complicated to get an executable jar with all dependency plugins packaged, where no alert like "main class not found" will pop up at execution?!?
-
Agency life where the dev department plays 3rd string to our Creative/Experience team and our Demand Gen team. Mainly because the leadership has no idea how to sell dev work?
Oh, and when dev work comes in, its on a super rushed/compressed time table where we've over-promised, and under-charged.
No margin on this project? Yeah, no shit cause you sold it for 50% of what we told you it would cost, dumb ass.2 -
I want to relocate to U.S from South Africa.
I'm qualified as a systems developer and currently doing an internship as a QA tester (automation)... sigh.. where to start.. SA has no future for devs here.3 -
No god damn documentation so I'm running blind
Anyone know where I can learn to understand firmware or whatever controls the Bluetooth in micro:bit??? -
I join a company last few weeks ago, there is a cultural where new employee need to share 3 secrets to satisfy them in upcoming Christmas party. Any suggestions? I have totally no idea~6
-
Has anyone else ever been stuck in a 'doSomething()' limbo where your dev section has no tickets so you have to create your own tickets so that you still seem productive?6
-
I swear there is just no documentation on GTK3 themes. I'm trying to change window decorations in an existing GTK theme and there's just no info out there. On top of that my posts for help have gotten a grand total of 0 replies.
If you happen to know where I can find some info about it I would really appreciate it. -
What is software development like where you live? Would you say it's good/modern or bad/outdated?
For example, in Peru (this has a degree of truth of up to 95%):
- React isn't even a thing (nevermind RN)
- Everything uses Angular
- No Django, no Rails, no Express. Everything Laravel, CodeIgniter and .NET
- No NoSQL
- Objective-C >> Swift
- AWS? cPanel!
- No testing
Of course I focused on the "bad" part, but maybe this is what rants are for :) And I haven't said anything about salaries 😪
What about you? And please don't forget to mention your country.2 -
I wanted to get started with ML. So what are the basics that I need to cover? (I have no idea where to get started.)10
-
Did you ever had a dream where you didn’t know the solution to a problem and you tried to Google it, only to get frustrated and find no results? Did I have a programmers nightmare?2
-
Everytime I open devrant, it starts from a particular rant page. No matter where I navigate and close/kill app,it still starts from same rant page. Anyone experiencing same?4
-
Silhouettes hide your pores,
not the chores for your work scores,
managers observe behind your eyes,
No one rants for the laughs,
where you now passed gas,
sum your growth of the past,
change the browser url paths,
or your boss will take your cash. -
Iwd. IWD. iNetWirelessDaemon. Where have you been? No lag at all. Fast. No dependencies. Lightweight. No layers of abstractions...
Since I switched to Arch on my my computer (4 years ago!), I've had to deal with NetworkManager. What a piece of shit. Don't get me started about wpa_supplicant, the piece of software that did the real lifting.
Thanks, Intel! -
Not a rant but where do I start with coding? I have next to no experience as in mandatory classes I wrote myself off as having "no chance".
What language should I learn first? How? With what? Etc
Thanks in advance1 -
I'm pleased to announce that, I too, have the 'unfortunate' to join the higher tax bracket payment where I will involuntary pay a portion of my income to the 'FICA people' for no returning benefits whatsoever.5
-
I have almost no experience in TDD and have to use it in a uni course where I build an Android app connecting to Firebase. I have googled for I don’t know how long and found no examples or got repos with unit test using Firestore.3
-
Just got an "no-reply" email that wants me to click a link for customer satisfaction survey. No company name, no whatever, just plain text and the sender is "no-reply@nestor.com" Is there a way to find out where did they get my email?!4
-
Just wasted two hours finding out why one of our clients rest API is not working. Apparently it needs a referer header for no good reason and this is no where to be found in the documentation...
It is great that you even have documentation, but please include all basic details!! -
You know what pisses me off more than anything is my current troubles were moot over and over
But oh no
Can't leave me in a place where I'm doing well nope. -
why every time hero wins in the movies or series? why not villains ? imagining the after story where no heroes are there.. it's amazing 🌚13
-
I need help trying to explain to my boss. Iframes are going to load slow no matter what. Then he shows a page where a iframe loads pretty. decently well. He fucking doesn't understand that even a blank iframe can slow everything.
-
Today is a productive day but also an unproductive day because I have no idea where I need to do work on project A or work for project B.2
-
need help with android automation. no where on the enire internet is there a solution for taping the "Done" button on the soft keyboard
-
No matter how many times I educate them, my colleagues still end up confused between writing conditions in join statement and in where statement.
They think they're both same :'( -
Had a jira ticket for a cpanel user where the end user creates any database through mysql database ends up with already exists. No matter what string we take though.
Anyone had this error before? Will update log sooner1 -
So, just wondering, I want to work on some coding, but have no idea where to start. So i thought I could try cloning some repos from github, and try to do sth. But not sure where to find repos that would work like that. Any recommendations where to start?2
-
Hey guys,
I want to learn Android development with Kotlin. I have no prior experience with either technology. Where should I start?5 -
What's the best way to learn how to develop android code as I would like to but have no idea where to start?1
-
So all you see is normal people and pretty ladies otherwise some bending and displaying themselves, the pretty ladies, and there is no visible indicator of the decay of Western society and everyone is helping you get where you need to go which is somewhere safe and happy where you have the job you want1
-
Plz help me to choose between two offers.
First one is a services provider firm where I would get to work alone on projects for clients. The con is their is no Senior Android Developer's in the firm
Second one is a startup where I will be working with a team on their product.
Points to be noted :
1) I am a fresher
2) both companies are offering me same position (Android Developer ) and salary.4
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