Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple APILearn More
Search - "cto"
My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...
1. What is GitHub?
2. What is JSON?
3. What’s an array?
4. What is Get and what is Post?
5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?
6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Dumb CTO: because it is.
7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.
8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?
9. What does NULL mean?
Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.
Fakin shyt for brains.182
Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.
So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.21
Internship number two.
*walks downstairs to get a coffee*
*CTO (my guider) walks in*
CTO: (dead serious face) "linuxxx (not using my first name :P), come with me please"
*walks along to his office, starting to get reallly fucking nervous*
*CTO and me walk into his office, he sits down and looks at me very serious*
*I'm slightly shaking, nervous, sweating*
*oh yes here it is its gonna come I did something wrong fuck fml 😫😥😨😩*
CTO: "So you know quite some stiff around security/privacy. Could you tell me some stuff about why I'd want to use VPN and recommend me some good providers? 😀"
*nearly falls onto the ground from relief*
I explained him some stuff and sent him a list of good providers 😀30
I came early today to the office
Found the office locked
Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO
With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times
There u go.office door opened with welcome message
just hacked the system
CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"10
CTO: I heard about this great architecture of microservices. What is it exactly?
Me: it's building many servers with one responsbility each.
CTO: That sound good. But let keep it simple and build only one big microservice.
(True story from a comapny a worked for)8
Today we were all called into a meeting and the CEO was livid. He went on a rage about how the CTO was wasting money on useless shit (GitHub Enterprise). He said I bought laptops for a reason if there’s a fire someone better protect our assets and code. He wouldn’t reason with us and went into github and deleted everything. The CTO was fired and no one is leading our team. Wondering if I should quit 😶31
Got into the monday tech meeting, CTO be like: we lost 10% of users due to last version, terrible I know, but that's really valuable data, I want you to find out why they left.3
passionately making love on Friday morning.
Cellphone buzzes for WhatsApp notification, ignored.
Call ignored, SMS ignored, again call, ignored.
She : whose that bitch calling you?
Me : it's no one important.
She : Checks WhatsApp, message from CTO, server crashed.
Me : Umm, darling, I need to fix this.
It's been 2 days she hasn't answered my call after she left.15
I just witnessed this interaction between my CTO and an intern. CTO was a good 30 feet away, so everyone heard:
CTO: *talking about some notepad or something* "I HAVE ONE IN MY DESK!"
Intern: **froze - afraid to go through his desk**
CTO: "TOP DRAWER!"
CTO: "GET IT, FUCKER!"
Intern: **blushing - gently opens drawer**
CTO: "KEEP GOING! PAST THE CANDY!"
Intern: "I ..."
CTO: "PAST THE WHISKEY!"
Intern: **softly** "I found it..."
CTO: "THAT WAS HARD!"
Intern: *starts walking back*
(player 3 enters the game) Director of Software: "BRING THE WHISKEY!"
Note: The intern was laughing, he is just a bit timid.
I truly love my job.16
My CTO everyone:
"You don't have to assert proper permissions in the backend for this user role, they won't guess the URL anyway. just hide the links"
CTO: "You must write good tests with high coverage, ideally use TDD. We need confidence in our releases."
Also CTO: *Secretly commits code changes directly to master at 3am, breaks tests, skips CI, publishes, tells no-one*8
Learning soft skills.
I'm about as direct with coworkers and managers as I am on devRant. And I still think being painfully direct is often better than playing the heavily politicized office game of thrones.
But sometimes it's better to say:
"CTO, I think we need your skills to build bridges to other departments and manage recruitment. You're the only one who understands both technology and people, so drop your developer role and become our ambassador"
"Dear CTO, your code makes my eyes bleed. Your CS degree was a fucking waste of tax money, and it's quite clear that cheap college beer washed out all of your reasoning skills. We should fill the space you're taking up with a beanbag chair, because you're providing negative value to the company. How many investor cocks did you have to deep throat to get where you are?"
Now, I just pick option one, smile politely, and tell him we need to increase department budget as indemnification for having to work with a retard like him. Uh I mean... "to get developer salaries up to a competitive level so we can retain knowledge"10
*CTO in panic, as always, invites everyone to the war room*
CTO: We have a MAJOR problem where 0.0001% of our customers are not receiving SMS confirmations.
Me: Cool. But, 0.0001% is very less compared to the other problems we are solving.
CTO: You don't understand, this is critical issue that needs to be addressed immediately.
Me: But even those.0.0001% customers are receiving e-mail confirmations, so this is not even blocker as we have other channels working.
CTO: I am emotional at this point. You need to prioritise this now.
Me: Okay, do we know the root cause of this problem?
Engineering head: we have blacklisted those numbers in past as our system detected them abusing our platform.
Me: Cool. Let's whitelist them, nothing much to worry here.
CTO: Floyd, you need to understand that 0.0001% of the customers are not receiving the SMS and the solution you are proposing is incorrect.
Me: Okay, what do you suggest?
CTO: We stop sending the SMS to all the customers.
Everyone on the call: 😨18
Ill join in - Our CEO and CTO insist that we can make an AI that can recognize emotions and feelings through Python, R, and some MySQL... mind you, with a team of unpaid interns....
Im sorry, but Id love some of whatever the fuck they are smoking.12
Boss refused to sing my termination latter saying he wont sign it until CTO returns from vacation (2-3 weeks)... So today i brought my freelance project to work and i work on it.. guess who is making more €/h today and doesnt have to pay for electricity11
Never have I been so furious whilst at work as yesterday, I am still super pissed about going back today but knowing it's only for another few weeks makes it baerable.
I have been the lead developer on a project for the last 3~ months and our CTO is the product owner. So every now and then he decides to just work on a feature he is interested in- fair enough I guess. But everything I have to go and clean up his horrendous code. Everything he writes is an absolute joke, it's like he is constantly in Hackathon mode "let's just copy and paste some code here, hardcoded shit there and forgot about separation of code- it all goes in 1 file".
So yesterday he added a application to the project and instead of reusing a shared data access layer he added an entirely new ORM, which is near identical to the existing ORM in use, for this one application.
Being anal about these things, the first thing I did was delete his shit and simply reference the shared library then refactor a little code to make it compatible.
WELL!! I certainly hit a nerve, he went crazy spamming messages on Slack demanding I revert as it broke ONE SINGLE QUERY that he hadn't checked in (he does 1 huge commit for 10 of everyone else's). I stuck to my principals and explained both ORM's are similar and that we only needed one, the second would cause a fragmented codebase for no benefit whatsoever.
The lead Dev was then forced to come and convince me to revert, again I refused and called out the shit quality of their code. The battle raged on via the public slack group and I could hear colleagues enjoying the heated debate, new users even started joining the group just to get in on mine and the cto's difference of opinion.
I even offered to fix his code for him if he were to commit it, obviously that was not taken well ;).
Once I finally got a luck at the cluster fuck of shit he had written it took me around 5 minutes to fix and I ever improved performance. Regardless he was having none of it. Still the demands to revert continued.
I left the office steaming after long discussions with the lead Dev caught in the middle.
Fortunately my day was salvages with a positive technical discussion that evening at a company with whome I had a job offer from.
I really hate burning bridges and have never left a company under bad terms but this dictator is making me look forward to breaking the news today I will be gone in 4 weeks.4
Not a rant, just awesomeness:
At my company our CTO organizes a meeting every month that gives us devs a chance to present new technologies to each other, offer advice about workflows and give feedback about current situations. This allows us to constantly improve.
*at front end job interview*
Me: so what kind of version control do you use?
CTO: well, one of the guys here developed our own system.. bla bla bla *turns around laptop*
Me: *sees internet explorer* NO THANKS 😬4
I played skyrim, and i thought yes.. i want to make that...
and now i am a very successful CTO and cofounder of a video game startup thats blooming and already made 7 figure profits
no, no im not, i ended up making websites for very little money...7
In retrospect, being open about autism in the workplace was a very bad decision.
My manager and CTO got to know about it and since that moment, every single thing I do has a different meaning to them.
All my technical decisions have to be validated by someone else, and my critique about how certain things are done is dismissed as if I were some kind of alien.
I really wonder when they're gonna ask me about their future or something.28
And then there was this big review...
DEVs:" this bug is hazardous and needs to be fixed quickly! It could crash a productive system completely!"
CTO and DEV teamlead:" shut up! This big exists more than two years! No customer will ever klick this button!"
--exactly twelve hours later--
Customer:"so we clicked on this button and our system crashed! Can you help us quickly? We are losing money!!!"
CTO in the meeting:"who programmed this shit? Are you insane?"
Teamlead:"you are useless !!"5
Client: "I did not receive the email that should be send after that event. Please fix."
* Checks code - ok
* Tests feature in locally - ok
* Tests feature in production - ok
* checks values in database - ok
* 2 hours wasted - ok
"Please help me dear CTO, idk what else I could check or how I should even respond to this."
CTO: "hmm, the clients account uses a adminstrative email address for testing. Let me just check if it is in the mailbox."
*checks* "Yeah, that's the email you're looking for, right?"
Me: *experiences relief, anger, blood lust and disappointment at the same time* "Could you please respond to the client for me, I need a break. Thanks"3
A little over a year ago I was in the hiring process with a new company and countered their initial offer. I was told by the CTO that it was no problem and they would get back to me soon.
A couple days go by and I'm then informed that they're hiring a new IT director and would like me to interview with him as well. It felt kinda lame since I'd already been offered the job but I rolled with it.
When I showed up to the office for an interview I tried to call and let them know I was there and couldn't get a hold of anyone. 30 minutes later I get a call from the CTO saying they couldn't find the new IT director and when they got him to answer the phone he said he had left early and would call me to do a phone interview.
Obviously the whole experience so far has been pretty lame but I stuck with it because I knew the CTO personally. I did the phone interview and quickly realized this dude was a prick, and would be a terrible boss, but I spoke with the CTO again who told me to stick with it and eventually I did get the job.
Fast forward about a month and it's clear the new director is trash. He literally bragged about firing a dude over an accidental outage (wtf!?).
He had the technical experience you'd expect of a junior help desk and his management skills were pretty clearly sub-par.
He was also, for whatever reason, completely unable to communicate with the only woman on our team. When assigning work he would always feel the need to ask if she could 'handle it' rather than just assigning it to her like it's done for everyone else. He was pretty clearly sexist.
The whole team hates this dude by this point but he's somehow managed to woo the executives into thinking he shits gold.
I was helping him set up a Python venv on his machine when I noticed another VPN client installed which certainly piqued my interest. After a bit of digging it was clear he was using company time and company equipment to continue working for his previous employer.
We turned over logs and he was fired the next day. He tried to add me on LinkedIn afterwards and I have never declined something quicker.
Moral of the story is don't be a dickhead.1
I'm a bad influence.
It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.
Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...
Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.
I dont trust people who have LinkedIn tagline with any of these combinations.
My CTO gave me the "designer of the year" - award, after I successfully replaced the logo from a provided template html file.7
Me: Hey let's do A to help the website.
PO: Yeah that sounds good. but let's do some research about it.
6 months later.
PO: Hay let's do A to help the website.
CTO/CEO/PO's boss: amazing idea. Here's an award and some money for that.
Me: What. The. F...6
My CTO told the COO and CEO i'd be finished SOC2 compliance by the end of December... On December 14th.
It takes 3 months to do the audit, let alone all the actual work. I hadn't even started yet.
He was fired shortly after that.5
CTO joined us to interview a web fullstack today.
Amongst many battle analogies, he said "Fuck the corrupt and the weak. We keep only the best here"
If he watches 300 a couple more times, I think he will start wearing leather underwear and a red cape to work.3
CTO wants all variables in file to be same length. You cant have "start" and "stop". You must have "start" and "cease".16
I joined a company 6 months ago.
No development process.
Takes loads of new requirements on top.
I advised the software head and managing director on how to improve our software development process.
Less requirement good quality software
New products and micro services.
Both of them agreed but they said they are waiting for new CTO to confim as an authority and responsibility.
Well I cant do much just to do my work.
1 month ago new CTO joined
Revised whatever I advised and implementing it right. I like it.
Got my confirmation after 6 months instead of 3 months.
CTO called me in for review and gave me 2/5. And said you need to improve more.
I asked him, in what do I need to improve.
He replies in technologies and development process.
And he takes credit for all changes and implementation.
I argued about it. I already suggested what you did but was ignore because we didnt have CTO.
Hes like ignored me.
Fucking you CTO.3
CTO: I'm a programmer now *smug* (I'm just like you guys, but paid much better)
CTO: I coded python hello world this weekend (I'm a multi talented genius)18
You may know about my dumb CTO, if not, read here: https://devrant.io/rants/854361/...
Anyway, the dumbass emailed me this weekend asking “what is big data?”
So I replied: “...it’s when you use a large font in your code...”
He thanked me. I bet he will be at some presentation somewhere and will reference using large fonts in an IDE!!!10
So I have been recently hired at my current job for leading a product team. We're a small team working in a big company which have other teams working on other projects. I like my work and I have been appreciated for my work which I did since my stay here.
So I and my manager were discussing about how more can we automate our workflow to reduce the time to get the final builds. It was late in night. Suddenly someone asked, 'did I hear automation?'. We turned to see our CTO listening to our conversation. He told us that he's having trouble with automation in his project. I was new, so I didn't know what did he work on, so I asked.
Me: So what did you guys work on?
CTO: well, we work on automating stuff for clients and save them money. We earn 100x revenue than your product (In a more humble tone). I am currently looking for someone who can lead a team of developers for handling the automation scripting part. *Provides description of the candidate* Do you guys know someone like that?
Manager: (pointing towards me) It looks like his description.
CTO: I want him in my team then.
Manager: That can't happen, he's required in very important stuff and you're not allowed to poach.
CTO: I think I have the right to poach 😉
Me: OK, so how much raise am I going to get to switch teams (to the manager) and how much am I going to get to stay? Whoever gives me more I am theirs.
CTO: I like this guy
It's day three, I am still awaiting for one of them to tell me who won 🙁
PS: They both are friends with each other.2
Feeling like I've gone back in time about 15 years!
Just told my CTO about various improvements we could make to the development process. Things like git, continuous delivery, agile project management apps such as Jira, task management such as Gulp, etc.
His response - "never heard of them. I bet they'll pass in a few months. Just another round of fads".8
I informed the CTO that one of the beta features from our Cloud Provider (that we used for free) was released to the public and now we're supposed to pay US$ 0.65 for each 1 million requests.
In our case, this means we would pay ~US$ 6.50 to support a businesses that receives literally millions in Advertising each month.
Then I was hit with "How can we reduce that cost? It's out of our budget!"
Oh, looks like we have a really small budget, so... Let me help them by announcing that I'll leave by the end of the week because I'm moving to another country \o/7
I'm officially CTC.
Chief Technical Clown 🤡
How do I know? I've yet to write a single line of productive code today. I've spent the day purely as an administrative cog: writing emails, giving data to consultants, supporting juniors, and cleaning up the absolute hellscape that is also known as our Jira project.
I've become exactly what I hate.12
I'm the leader of a team developing a project at my company. Recently I had an accident which required me to have a surgery, and I was out for the last month.
Since it's an important project, our CTO reassigned a Xamarin dev to help my team (in JEE) while I'm out, you know, cause "C# looks like Java". The guy had to write a file stream handler, and - though the guy does a really good job - it's funny to see how desperately he's trying to understand how Java works with streams. Censored because of reasons.7
worst interview was about 2 years ago. I found this job as on a famous website, I applied for a desktop dev. position...the job seemed really easy, after 10 minutes the so-called CTO asked me:" how much do you know C hash?" me:"what?" him:"C hash...the Microsoft programming language" I thanked him for his time and went home crying ( he meant c# )...after a month I found out the company had gone bankrupt...I think I know why..8
Our PM is on vacation. And our CTO/CEO takes control of the PM role.
So today he decided it was time to just start a customer change request. Regardless of the customer not having approved the actual solution and estimate.
He just said that he did not want to waste any more time talking to the customer. Now they are gonna get what ever he thinks they want.
I predict this to backfire in a fabulous way. What could possible go wrong🤔4
Beginning of a Hackaton and the CTO calls everyone up and tries to instigate everyone with this gem:
"Challenge yourself and what we have. For example, instead of AWS use Swagger."
Nobody says anything but has the same WTF expression ... How do these person become tech lead?2
I don't go to the doctor and tell him what tools to use. I was just told to delete the .scss files because they were taking up too much room and to put all partials and images at root instead of in descriptive folders.3
My CTO in the 'good old times', when he still talked to me and shared his wisdom, once told me what I should know about oop and explained me the world of programming and what really matters:
CTO about oop and C#:
"I think this object orientated stuff is overrated and useless. You don't get finished. I write everything in one file. You should do that too. The fastest way is always the best one."
So, dear readers, you might think, he maybe understood, what oop means. I have to disappoint you. He is as FUCKING STUPID as he sounds.
He didn't understand the whole concept of the language C# or oop.
He doesn't use properties, every single method is static void and there is nothing like an object.
Since there is more from where that came from, this will be continued...7
I had a 15 minute meeting, organised by the MD, with the CTO and a principal engineer, to discuss what shade of yellow a button should be. Massive waste of time.19
Frequently used answers :)
UI developer - I think API is not working
Backend developer - Front end is not sending the request correctly
Tester - Testing! Testing!
UI/UX - As per android/ios standards...
QA - Let me check one more time
PM - Let us have another meeting and get on the same page
Dev-Ops - It's very complicated you know
CTO - We're working on a next-gen solution
Founder - Let us build something that no one has built, something similar to what google...facebook...
Cridits: My EX-CPO5
CTO hired mid-level full-stack developer for really complex product we’re building.
Here’s the funny part - he has 2 YEO building on top of freelance dev. code base’s on wordpress… Just fucking yesterday he told me, that Angular 10 framework is simillar to Jquery. Fucking dipshit, his code is so fucking bad it looks like italian sausage made out of spaghetti.
Not sure if I hate him more than ours truly cheapest CTO or him for being ridiculously incompetent and arrogant young asshole.
I’m in charge of him.
We are building this big-data engine for a client's product for which we were using a cluster on GCP and they were billed ~1100$ for the last month's usage.
The CTO - the CHIEFFUCKING TECHNOLOGY OFFICER told us to hook up 5-6 laptops in our server room and create our own cluster because they cannot afford so much bill.6
Me (front dev): We should use nodejs for this project...
CTO (back): Nah... Fu*k Node! Php ftw
Now: we have a php framework with a nodejs server for the front end6
At a previous job, we had a CTO and in a meeting of all the department heads, we all realized we have a CTO that knows about as much about tech as the pigeons do.
I’d always seen the confused emoji, I however never knew an actual human being could look like it, I’ve seen confused people, but on this day I saw a living 🤔…
How did I manage to achieve this result, I told him you can’t copy AngularJS code into a Flutter project, I then proceeded to tell him you also cannot copy it into a react project. I think I broke his brain.
Oh and yes, I worked at a development house, all the department heads were developers except for the QA head.2
Job Interview for a CTO role for a premium employer, a big law firm.
All is going well, I am telling them about my years of experience doing complex software integrations in business environments. Talking CRM/ERP, project management and development with external service providers. I tell them I want a salary of 100k and they nod in silence.
Then out of the blue one of the three stakeholders/managers leans over for a final question:
"Soo, we have this really big IT problem and if you would happen to know a solution to it, you would really prove your worth: I have these 10k+ E-Mails in my Outlook folder which doubles as an archive and Outlook keeps getting slower all the time. What can we do?"6
CTO: Trigger email to everyone when internet goes down. Do this by EOD.
How could I send email without internet.
CTO: I told you to be careful with the live bucket and now it's completely exposed to the public. I don't think I can trust you with this can you please generate your files somewhere else. This is unacceptable.
*Me frantically trying to figure out what's going on*
CTO: ?? Any ideas?
Me: A theory
Workers were executing function X which called save on a model that dint have a path name but instead it called function Y which generated a path for the object to be saved in. This has overridden all the original objects with newly generated ones.
I created my versions out of the newly generated ones. Here's the command and the functions mentioned above.
*Hands over code/links etc*
CTO: Oh I guess I just panicked hahah
All of the functions and commands were written by him and executed... By him.4
Client: Yo, there's like a 30k difference between the invoices in the application and paypal.
CTO: Yeah, that's really sad. Btw, did you know that our payment gateway supports credit cards, which won't be shown in paypal?
I'm writing this in a funny tone, but I was the person who basically implemented every aspect of accounting in that application, so I praying silently 😅1
My CTO prefers to hire very expensive consultants than to trust on staff. It's funny, because he also decided that all technical teams should run on the absolute minimal amount of resources.
You can't imagine how shitty it felt this morning when he sent an email talking about a security consultant that we should hire, just because he thinks the guy could "take our expertise to the next level".
They will charge us 450/hour to run assessments, to find the exact same things my team discovered a year ago.4
CTO 3 months ago:
- You will get a raise after 9 months of work according to your KPI (98%) and bonus (size of one month pay check)
FUCKITY FUCK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I WORKED HARD AT NIGHTS AND SACRIFICED MY FREE UNPAID TIME FOR NOTHING, THANKS19
I just gave a successful demo to the CEO and CTO of a company I'm doing some contract work for. The questions they were asking led to me going off script, luckily it all worked!2
The FCC Chairman is going ahead with his plan to repeal net neutrality despite objections from fellow commissioners, the CTO, more than a hundred members of Congress, senators and of course, the people.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? How far up your own fucking ass does your head have to be to ignore basically everyone's vote against you? What the fuck. This guy is a really piece of fucking work. I hope this bounces back to bite him in the ass real hard.15
Project day 1. CTO: everything should be covered by automatic tests.
Project day 30. CTO: listen, we have lot of work in the pipeline now and we need to prioritize. Please don't spend that much time on tests.
Project day 100. CTO: why isn't everything covered by automatic tests?7
> 1:1 meeting with a CTO from Fortune 500 (any minute now)
> spilled coffee over the table and both computers
*taking a dog outside, so she doesn’t talk during the meeting*
> some dudes injecting drugs in the corner
My day is a shitty Hollywood movie 🍿8
Impossible deadlines are ubiquitous in our company. Our CTO has the opinion that development is a lightning-fast process that doesn’t require testing and deployment because every developer is a God.
It is normal to hear something like ”just develop it tomorrow morning, it is easy” from him, but in reality, it is never that easy.
Me - "I need to find the children"
CTO- "Okay. How many?"
It takes about 10 minutes to realize the conversation you just had1
Back then, whatever finished tasks I have done, our CTO always contradicts my idea and finds a way to humiliate me. I don't get the point why he did that. Probably, he didn't want me to excel at something or he really does have crab mentality. I already reported this issue to our CEO because I was being harassed and submitted my resignation letter.
And boom! Guess what? It looks like our CTO just stepped a chicken manure and treats me nicely like a princess.
P.S. To be honest, it took him like a couple of months to step down and act normal like nothing happened. Really appreaciated the A-ffort, though!10
Got a CTO at my Unity job that's younger than me, which by itself is fine, but the only reason this guy was put into that position was because the previous CTO left the company at the time where I was relatively new and he is the person most familiar with the codebase of our primary project than I was at the time.
I understood the decision at the time, but still, having a position of power being handed to them just as a matter of inheritance doesn't command my respect. Nevertheless, I withheld my judgement at the time to see how his leadership goes.
Not even 1 year in and this young CTO started making jabs at me, calling my code hard to read and incomprehensible, to my face, in front of everybody else.
Motherfucker, I don't find his code easy to read either but I went out of my way to frequently ask him, the previous CTO and other teammates to clarify what they wrote here and there. He on the other, made no attempt to ask me for clarification and instead waited until company meetings to air these grievances.
Our boss started to ask me to follow SOLID principles (even though he can't recite what that acronym means) due to complaint from the CTO guy, even though the CTO guy doesn't even follow SOLID himself! But I took the higher road and didn't flip it right back on him.
What I did propose in return though, is that the dev team start using pull requests and have a code review process if the CTO wants to sign off on everything that gets in the codebase. Sounds reasonable enough, right? Not for this guy! He immediately starts complaining that reviewing pull requests would be more work for him. Motherfucker, you refused to go to my table to ask for clarifications about my code yet still want to understand what goes on, then do code review.
It was at this point that I realized that this guy doesn't actually want me to write good, clear code. He wants me to write code HIS way so that he can understand. Yeah okay, I can accept that idea in isolation. Some open-source projects require contributors to follow certain coding convention to make the maintainers' job easier too. One project that immediately came to mind is "In-game Debug Console for Unity 3D" (disclosure: I am a contributor to this project)
But guess what?
THIS COMPANY DOESN'T HAVE A FREAKING CODING CONVENTION. NOT WRITTEN DOWN ANYWHERE. NOT EVEN A VOCAL ONE.
What this CTO guy wants from me is a complete blackbox.
To all fellow devs out there, I hope you don't work with a CTO like this, or become one.5
Was manic, was on prescriptions, never prepared, was late, cussed as hell about modern frontend development, got a CTO job1
Today I looked at some code from our CTO. He used plain SQL Statements with huge selects and no prepared statements.
I asked him:
1. why dont you build some helpers or even use some frameworks?
2. why are there no prepared statements?
His answer (to both questions)
We do not need that. That just uses too much ressources and time. It's more cleaner and simpler this way.
My Face: 😵1
He wanted to hire me as CTO but insisted of defining architecture himself even though he admitted he has no tech background. He insisted that his CRM doesn’t even need backend because “we have database”. He was dysgraphc but completely ignored accessibility, including measures for dyslexic people. He called his product “startup” but denied that startups need to constantly validate ideas and denied the conception of a/b testing, offering no alternative.
He also wanted me to work for free.
Bruh you’re not a clown, you’re an entire circus.5
At the beginning of April there were 9 of us in Ops, come May there will only be 3 of us left. :/
They've left because they disagreed with some the CTO was trying to do and he fired them, or just because they hate him. Every week it's a new game of "Who's going this time?".
CTO (works as a team lead): You here?
Me: Yes 👍
CTO: After doing X, Y and Z I broke X. That should not happen. You do understand, that this is not a good UX?
Me (asked CTO X amount of times to hire a a good designer, because I’m not): Well, we made the backend receive Y when X is triggered so B can be passed. I can tell the user to do Y in order to do Z.
CTO: NO, you will not. Do what I’ve said.
DUDE WTF? YOU FUCKING 🐎 I WILL BLOW YOU BRAINS WITH MY MORNING NAUSEA AND DIARRHOEA. FUCKING DIPSHIT ALLOWS HIS BAD MOOD AFFECT OTHER EMPLOYEES. HOW THE FUCK YOURE A CTO.
IM NOT GOING TO REWRITE THE CENTER PIECE OF OUR APPLICATION IN A DAY, WHICH TOOK US MONTHS TO MAKE. FUCK OFF
Monday, hurray 🥳
I've been working in a company for two tears, builsing it from ground up as a CTO with a CEO and COO. Two years in, with 60 people on board I was managing a project which was bringing serious profit into the company, and they decided to cut me off. Reason: they don't trust me anymore, real reason: CEO wanted more money for himself and less money control from me and the other guy.
Turned out fine as it made me start my own business.1
CTO: Research, problem analysis, customer need validations, and data based prioritisation is stupid.
Me: So, then why should we solve this problem?
CTO: Because my team invests a lot of time in here (read "because we build a shitty system in past without thinking and we are doing it again").
Me: I don't see this as a good idea.
CTO: I become emotional when I request product to align and they don't. We must solve this problem and not what customers want.
Me: I am not participating here.
CTO: And I want you to work on weekends to support my team.
Imagine yourself being a CTO back then.
Brand new Acura NSX. No MacBooks, ThinkPads are hot. Your company has its own skyscraper. CASE tools are just introduced and they’re hotter than blockchain now. You do software architecture in IBM Rational Rose, typing on your Model M and thinking really hard about Java OOP which is very hot right now.
You have Erlang servers at your own data center. You laugh at people writing in COBOL. You excited about aspect-oriented programming.
What a wonderful time.3
I left my previous company because my tech leadership was insensitive and agressive.
However, I am in a start-up right now and CTO is a nut job.
He creates random Slack threads and keeps messaging me like crazy. The co-founders have shut him down multiple times and yet his only success metric is "number of deliveries".
The other day something broke in production and teams were discussing about resolving the bug in one of the Slack channels.
CTO literally wrote this and I wish I was making this up, "let us not look at the logs and trust our code to work fine."
I was baffled and confused. I realised me leaving my previous organisation because of such tech leadership was a stupid decision.
Crows are black everywhere.5
Our CTO doesn't believe that tests improve code quality. We have no tests on any level, no testers/QA, no code reviews. Nada. I wonder why production keeps breaking 🤔 Guess I'll start looking for another job 🤷♂️20
Had to talk to another team to change 1 value in a database I didn't have access to. It should have taken 2 minutes but instead took them two hours. This was before they went on a public rant in front of the CTO and CEO telling my team how we need to re-architect everything we've done in the past 8 months because it didn't meet their personal standards.
I have never even met these people prior and all I needed was 1 fucking value changed. Somehow my company thinks this is culturally acceptable.6
Director: we need to add our partner's project to our ci pipeline
CTO: we need to add ci to this repo, it should work via this tool (not the one we use now)
PM: we need to use this new tool, figure it out until Friday
TL: we need to move all our projects to this new ci tool, don't ask, the task is given by CTO
Me: everything is ready except for this one old project
TL: we couldn't use it for one of our projects
PM: we had difficulties with the new tool
CTO: we couldn't add our partner's project to the pipeline
Director: *gives me a warning for being incompetent*1
I started at a company to develop an "uber" clone. Hired by the company's cto. I was happy initially as i had been unemployed for a while but that's because i didn't see the shitstorm coming. The task was build this using php, well 2 weeks later and db locking issues because mysql only allows 100 connections and the website takes over 200mb per request, i tried using the meteor framework, a lil better but the orphaned process would require me to reboot every 2 days. So enter erlang, built in 3 weeks works amazing problems none here... Well in comes the cto (which came in once a week). Apparently he had been reviewing my code and didn't understand it. He couldn't understand no for loops etc and demanded that it be made understandable to a normal dev. Did normal devs write uber no. Anyhow i spent the next 6 Weeks refactoring trying to make elixir looks like imperative programming, he finally gave up, so now I'm deep committed writing an API, finish in a week cto comes in and "why aren't you using patch" i don't need it, well another day implanting a patch api that will never be used. Ok done. Now we have a meeting with the investors who i worked in the same building with and they want a frontend built. I explained i was a backend dev and they needed a uiux expert. Next week cto comes back with this jquery fire pit and stolen bootstrap theme and take me with implementing it. This time we scrap the api change some of the backend logic and implement rest from the 90s one static page per request. After 3 months working with jquery I'm let go because of finical issues. I told them i was a backend dev but they didn't listen if the cto would've gotten a frontend expert things would be different but what to expect from a cto who's coding legacy is creating WordPress plugins.
Hopefully things will be better soon I'm tired of living on the streets.5
Me in conversation with the CTO a couple of weeks before starting the job:
I don't want to be mainly doing ui stuff
Him: that's cool
Me now: HTML
So, my lunchtime is spent applying for jobs...9
"The library you recently wrote appeared on my github feed. I haven't read all of the readme yet, but you already deserve a star for the documentation and the name" - CTO
Today was a good day1
10 PM (after a very busy working day), CTO calls me and tells me: "We decided to hand in the new version to [random client] one week earlier, so they can test it."
Me: "I don't think is a good idea, the app is still unstable, we started working in it yesterday, it *will* crash"
CTO: "Don't you worry, at least they know we are working on it"
20 minutes later
CTO: "WTF why did you make my app crash?! I can't send this to a client!"
Told you. That is why that code is on develop and not on master.
Monday morning: The last straw.
After talking about in a previous rant about how my client wants to fix bugs that keeps popping out after bug fix.
Today I discovered, that all C-levels, worked all Saturday to "fix my code" because it "didn't work" and we "needed bug fixes not pretty things".
The app version I was working on for the last week is gone. Without mentioning that their "CTO" wrote a fucking crappy code to disable features that I added, breaking the build step.
This shit is enough for me, I'm done!3
It’s a pretty good feeling when you’ve been sweating deadlines, stay in late, worrying about users, testing, maintaining a list of projects as long as your arm but your boss comes to you and low key asks you to be CTO of the company. It’s a small company so we don’t officially have that title but that’s the role I’ll be filling!3
We were running an obfuscator as part of our build pipeline, but also were not. I discovered we had disabled every rule, and after asking around it turns out that the obfuscator broke the app (because of reflection and things I won't go into).
So I turned it off.
An hour later the CTO came to me and said to put it back. "We have to obfuscate, put it back."
"But... it wasn't doing anything, other than slowing the build down."
"I don't care, we HAVE to run obfuscation. It's in our contract with the client."
Today I messaged my CTO 👩💻 ,
"If you were a repo, I'd commit to you everyday"
and didn't get a reply. What will happen tomorrow ?18
Wooaaah job offer as cto and shareholer in startup... or senior developer in established business.
How can i even make that choice.7
This occurred on a company wide chat
Developer: Getting an error insufficient space on disk when uploading to server, any clues?
CTO: Let me Google the error a second.
Not sure if he was joking...2
* Sending "less" data
* Number of ads won't change
Intern at Microsoft: Should I rephrase the messages so that it becomes a little bit subtle?
CTO(or whoever the fuck is in charge of rolling out windows update): Let it be direct and on the nose. Fuck this shit.
(Edit): Always forget to attach the image.2
I have a new Job as a full stack developer, so Im here to tell my story, you see,I told my boss today that im quitting,
Which he replies by telling me to wait, to see if he can get the CTO to pay me more,
now the CTO sais, "HE IS ONLY A BACK END DEVELOPER, HE'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT, I THING WE ARE PAYING HIM MORE THAN ENOUGH" So I said fuck him and left :D4
I could write 20 pages ranting but it can be summarized in a few words that describe the situation pretty well:
My 'CTO' doesn't understand basic OO principles (say, inheritance) nor functional programming.3
I really hate it when I try to be careful with disclosing information of my employer in a rant on Reddit but the CTO who fires me go there and replies in full detail in an attempt to shame you. http://archive.is/sfP00
Because I have bigger balls (or a small brain, depending how you see it) I'll leave the post on but with my response to his comment on my thread as anybody may dig my Reddit account before hiring me for a job.
And yes, he is the same guy I refer in this past rant https://devrant.com/rants/1089376/...
It fucking sucks that the CTO will sleep safe and sound and I can't do much than looking for another job and contribute to FLOSS projects while I build new stuff to improve my skills all this while money is running out. I'm glad I'm living with my parents after this shit hit the fan, less stuff to worry about, but this is not life.13
If this isn't the worst thing.
I was asked to develop a WordPress plugin as an intern developer and I've been on it since last week. I got stuck when i finally had the loops running but couldn't find a way to format the output without overwriting the existing values on each iteration.
For the last one week I've been showing the progress on my code to the CTO and this is how it has been.
Me: Hello. Everything is coming along fine, I have most of the functions running properly, do you mind looking into the algorithm?
CTO: Oh not at all, let's see what you got. Omg great code for an intern. I think you should add a new variable there and maybe clean up that function over there because it's deprecated now and yeah HaHa, Great work.
Me: Thanks xD I'll have it finished latest next week.
CTO: Oh great. I can't wait to see what you'd have by next week so we can install it on our WordPress.
*Next finally week comes and I'm done with the code.
Me: Hello, I'm done with the entire code! Want to take a look? The plugin works just exactly as described.
*CTO takes a look
CTO: This is completely bad programming practice, so you are running 4 nested loops that all send queries to our data base and make changes to data. This would have a very drastic effect on the server considering the traffic we get.
Me: But you saw this exact code last week and said it was okay, I only changed some CSS since the last time.
CTO: Omg, we can't accept this, you have to develop it again from the scratch without using those loops and queries.
Me: What? Okay, fine. Any hints?
CTO: Just start. That's the greatest hint I could ever give. And also, always have a plan before you begin.
Me: Yeah, thanks for those. It's the first time I'm hearing them and they would totally be applicable to building this thing.2
Hope you all are surviving well
Few changes here and there in my life and staying away from lots of things including DR. Not technically a rant but kinda a summary of my current life story.
- broke up with gf (to be precise, I dumped her because I don't wanna have a RS anymore). Pretty bad thing for her and she is still having a hard time accepting it.
- took a second job, part-time.
- trying to get few more part-time/consultant kind of jobs.
- step down from CEO/CTO position at my business and trying to focus just to be a better CTO.
- 80% of sale teams resigned or asked them to resign.
- found a new investor but no cash received yet.
- have to touch nodejs (at the part-time job).
- left side eyelid is twitching pretty frequently lately.
Not much. That's about it. Now let me check what the heck are you all up to lately.20
So reviewing another companies framework, colleague came across a 'banging tween' but didn't know what it was so googled turns out a tween is a person aged 9-14, he is now likely on many police watch lists. But he asks a couple of us on a Skype chat, one guy simply copies and pastes the definition of banging, I see his source says buffet is a synonym for 'bang' so I comment without thinking much:
"Would you like a bang? I certainly wouldn't use that sentence for would you like a buffet". Then I see the CTO typing I forgot he was in the chat and start to sweat oh s£#@ what have I done well I'm a gonna.
CTO: "'Me and my wife like a bang in the kitchen' seems alright to me". - made my day.
I manage one of the shittiest parts of the codebase in the company. I spent the last couple of months rewriting and refactoring and optimizing without being asked so i can make my life easier and earn some good employee points.
Last Tuesday I got a call from the CTO, he was like "i love what you did but i think changing the language used for that would be cool so i rewrote some of it in Node, lets finish it up together and use the version of it in node from now on."2
Went in for a recruiter led hunt for architect-level positions. Got all the way through two companies, two offers. Then out of nowhere a third offer shows up, way more money, control. Choices were accept a higher offer, or do a final interview with a CTO and let them know there's a more competitive offer for a position I was pretty sure would have no actual authority given the attitude of the people I talked to.
I bailed on the recruiter and took the better gig. Felt a little bad, assuaged guilt with expensive booze, cars.
I decided to go freelance/contracting. Headhunters keep pitching me permament roles (and I love watching them run out of pitch lines :D )
Headhunter: This job can't do your asking salary, but can offer career development.
Me: Already did that. was Engineer, then Architect, then CTO. I'm actually stepping back to be an Engineer.
Headhunter: Ok well, in this job you can do things start to finish, see them through to the end.
Me: I actually get bored after a while. Prefer change.
Headhunter: Well this place has a great culture and fun atmosphere!
Me: It's an insurance company mate...2
So, some years ago, my old firm was bought by a much larger company.
A couple years later, my CTO resigned, as he needed a week deserved break. I acted as interim CTO for half a year, with the full support of the CEO.
But then higher management removed my CEO for a politician 🤡. His first move is to ask my ex-CEO who to consider for CTO.
He adamantly vouches for me, but in the end, I'm not "political" enough. (Sure I admit I'm not the most organized person, and do not sweeten arguments to suits, but I had won the full trust of my previous superiors *and* fellow devs, and had people to cover for organizational stuff, and have successfully navigated situations with the world's biggest tech orgs).
So I'm again a dev, and they hire this new CTO at twice my salary. But as you can probably guess, who ends up still doing all the CTO work on top of his dev work? Yeah.
That drove me to quit, not because of the demotion, but for a denied minor raise when I was doing the work of someone with twice my paycheck.
As could be expected, once I quit, the CTO barely lasted 6 months.
Fun part is, I've been freelancing (successfully) from them on, and I've been contacted by this CTO, trying to hire me to do some work in his new company...
I'm torn whether to tell him to bite me, charge him a shitton of money or any other funny ideas.
Mind you, I don't dislike the guy, and he's not particularly annoying to work with, so I guess this doubles as a rant against corporate clowns, and a bit of advice seeking.8
Again I ended working for a company where people love to pride themselves because they're 'agile'.
Basically they bought A JIRA license, that's all.
The CTO decides the estimates privately.
He assign the stories.
No idea what's a retrospective.
The sprint ends whenever he wants.
New stories continuosly added to the active sprint.
That's the risk of agile, unchecked power.3
I've been working for 12days straight to develop 6 different pages in an admin panel. The CTO decided to launch only 2 of them! Yesterday, I was late so he asked me to be more regular and produce results with a mixer of insults and profanity.
Dear CTOs, I know sometimes you guys just want to burst out but stop for a minute then try not to be an asshole. It has the complete opposite effect on an employee.
You being an dick will achieve only one thing, you being a dick.1
so I left uni after my PhD and joined a start up where the boss is a Cambridge grad who does coding and is like 50 years old (he never told us the true value), the CTO is very talented and another dev who quickly became my best friend and me doing data science. the 4 of us worked together like friends and the efficiency was fantastic, there's no bureaucracy bullshit or shit boss talks. We built the whole thing from scratch (okay I admit they did most of the building) and to this day, we work just has we have been.
go 3 years back and change my "lets not get involved in office politics" mindset.
Apparently, the good workers who arent besties with the founders or CTO dont get recognized for any promotions.2
Being called into a meeting where you get fired for an argument you had with your CTO. But the CTO left 6 months ago and the sales department are suspiciously low on deals in the pipeline...
Shame really, I loved that job and the Dev team was great, shame the directors were bastards.2
Me and the unofficial CTO (3rd party's CTO) are interviewing an ios dev. (I'm an android dev, btw)
CTO: In your view, would you find developing an ios app would be faster or at the same speed as an android dev?
Canidate: I've never developed on Android before, but I'd think it would be the same speed. We both need to make screens, views, and type code.6
My CTO strongly discourages working from home because he insists that "leaning over to the next cube to ask a question" is far better than sending a message, email or making a phone call. He went as far as saying it takes too much effort to do the latter... How is interesting someone while they're working more efficient???10
When your coworker quits and the CTO (in an attempt to smooth things over) tells you (an engineer) "Don't sweat it, Engineers are replaceable."2
Well I got offered a position as the CTO of a local charity but the funding fell through. That job sounded pretty sweet.
Otherwise my dream is honestly not having one, like in a situation where I didn't need the money. I'd not working and basically just spend my time volunteering for stuff at my church
my CTO is on 2 week vacation, guess what he did on his last day...
installed a camera with a microphone in our office. coincidentally right near the devs...
i'm afraid to talk with my colleagues...7
The CTO has admin on the git repo and while we all have to have 2 other people review our pull requests. This guy will just go make a pr and merge it without review. It's not like its perfect code either. I will be going behind him and finding weird shit that he did days later and then go check the git blame. Yup its another one of his had to push it right now without review moments.2
CTO for the picture.
This is so real, people are having a bad time because of the covid-19, productivity could be affected by this, my colleagues are having a hard time since they cant realy separate work from work anymore, the situation is hard as it is, i hope we all get through this.
Please Give Loving Comments below so i can show this to my dev/non dev friends that are having a hard time.12
I was mentoring a group of students and helping them with their graduation project. I taught them NodeJS, MongoDB & few other things.
One time, one of them came to show me her code, and it has the weirdest and most bizarre structure ever!
I asked her, “who told you to structure your code like that? This is wrong! I didn’t teach you this way!”.
She replies: “<<a local shitty tech startup name>>’s CTO”
When I searched about him, he’s a civil engineer who founded a startup and assigned himself as CTO with no technical background or knowledge whatsoever! FFS students believe that he’s a real CTO and started learning from him 😑 His code was so bad in every way that a fresh would write a better code!5
So today my CTO reigned, and I heard rumours that they probably will have me as the next CTO. Me personally, I'm not ready for this ... Even as a Senior Software Engineer , sometimes I have obstacles leading the my Juniors (6 of them).
Also, for the same pay, I rather maintain my current position.
I am not ready yet.9
I want to be the CTO in ten years. I'm 25 now, and think it's possible. My former boss was the CTO and he inspired the hell out of me to work hard and invest in myself. I have a lot to learn but I'm eager to figure it out.4
So i heard from my friend that CTO had asked Android team to make the app be able to root the phone upon installation.
Dude wtf are you smoking?!2
The new CTO promised us better coffee in his introduction meeting. Honestly felt pretty trivial and part of his used car salesman pitch to us.
A month goes buy and he replaces our shitty drip Starbucks breakfast blend coffee with ... Starbucks coffee machines. I shit you not these things have touch screens on them. So I tried two cups of each bean type and ... this stuff is really really bad. It's literally worse than the drip brew. It's so fucking terrible I have trouble finishing a cup.
God damn it!8
I'm currently an intern in a startup
I started 3 months ago and I will finish in 1-2 months
From the beginning, all the team is very nice with me and say that I do a really great job
I could learn many many things and I can say my ideas during the project
This is a message to CEO/CEO, you see, if you offer a really good internship with interesting tasks and technologies, student like me are really motivated, want to learn, want to really participe to the project even if I do more hours than I have to do
Because we, students, are like you : interested in new technologies and great ideas
Offer good internship and you will be happy to have good and motivate intern in your Company
CTO s shouldn't write software once there are more than 50 devs in the company. They shouldn't make tech decisions. It is time for you to back off and help with more important things. We really need you to get process nailed down. We really need you to help us understand business better. Not writing code.1
Here's how it usually goes:
1) I estimate the different aspects of the assignment to the best of my abillities, based on customer criteria and information. I come up with an realistic estimate for development and testing.
2) My PM runs the numbers through an algorithm. It adds time for other stuff, but its all still very fair and in tune.
Now to the fucked up part.
3) My ceo and cto looks at the estimate, and he will just turn on every possible button and twist the estimate into what he thinks he can get the customer to pay🤢🤮
This ends in the customer saying - no thank you.
He comes back to us and does not understand why they declined.
so our CTO wants to tell us a inspirational story but starts like "You developers create bugs...." wanted to shoot myself of his great self in the head1
Not quite a rant, but it'll devolve in heated debate anyway 😂.
So I was discussing deployment methods with a client's CTO today.
He was fervent on using git for deployment (as in, checkout/pull directly on target host).
I was leaning more on, build npm and web bullshit on the runner, rsync to target host.
Ideally, build shit in the runner, publish to an artifact/package manager, pull that in the target host.
Of course, there are many variables and pros/cons on each side, but would like to hear your opinion.14
Submitting my changes for review and my CTO catches the line:
console.log("It fucking works")
We are a small company, and our CEO and CTO attends our daily standups(not sure why)
At the end our CTO, after a little discission with our PM, goes: “This” is more importent and should be gone first - its money to the company.
Pm: Fine but then “that” wont be worked on for now.
Cto: ohh okay, but “this” is really importent, so do it first.
Standup done, people returns to work.
1 minut later, Cto comes into the dev room.
Cto: “something else” is also really really importent.
Pm: ok, so then we do “something else” instead and we will put “this” on standby for now.
Cto: and remember “operation” has the highest priority of all.
For fuck sake... just pick one or decide what it is you want....
Cto has no clue to what he is doing. Does not have a long term plan, other then get money into the company based on really short term goals.
Easy to say im not his biggest fan, and I am a 100% sure he knows this.5
Another member of the team updated the production JSON configuration of the project with a missing comma, this broke a system that's not yet live and where there aren't any real users (only used for demos/testing).
Instead of having a good laugh about how silly this was, the CTO/CEO removed their write access to production..3
Which of the following can successfully lead a company for digital transformation?
Reviewing the code of my then new CTO, who said "I can also code and have experience in Java" - 50 lines of code, I added over 30 comments to his Pull Request. In the end, I rewrote his complete code.2
Submitted my first proposal for a freelance gig and didn't win the bid but I don't feel bad about it. Asked for feedback and it turns out I lost because the dev who they chose had a recommendation from someone the CTO (decision maker) highly respected. He loved my proposal and appreciated my efforts on it and my bid was marginally lower than the dev they chose.
Overall it was a positive experience and I may have established a good report with the CTO in the process.
Some years ago but it's funny.
The company give to me a new laptop with windows Home Edition,
After few months I have installed Pro Version.
1 month later the laptop didn't work anymore, nothing on display, no beeps, zero.
Tried to replace ram and check but nothing works.
The CTO asked the supplier and they asked about SO, and they said it's not turning ON because i have installed Windows Pro.
Than the CTO had a brilliant idea: try put the hard disk in another laptop and install Windows Home, and put back in the defective one. I refused to to that, it's stupid and he insisted, then I put the laptop in his desk and I said: if you want do this you can do, im not stupid enough to do this.
He got really mad, 1 week later i got a brand new one 😅5
Last week I got told by an incoming CTO, a week old to the organisation, that I'm good for nothing and unable to produce any work. He told me that he'll replace me and put me in a team where I'm more resourceful as I have been consistently underperforming. (He doesn't understand data science yet fyi) Then, he informed he's hiring 5 new teams members.
Me (junior data scientist) being really passionate about work was shook to hear this. So much so that it took me a week to even recover from it. I have considered counselling sessions too.
Week later, 5 new team members decide to flip his offer and not join. Another existing senior member decides to leave as well. Meanwhile, major issues in existing systems emerge and only I could solve the same. Still haven't heard back any from him though.
Is this the industry standard though ? Is this how CTOs normally function ? Throwing shit at people without knowing their value or valuing their efforts ? Especially with junior developers. It's only been 2 years in this profession and I've not met more than 3 genuine and helpful people. Maybe it's just my organization.9
Not sure if this should be a proper rant about the reasons behind this, or a simple 'so much win' situation..
CTO asked how I'm doing with task xy.. my answer: mostly should be fixed, but I'm trying to figure out this zz thing.. It is so fucked up, I can't make sense of it.. before I could really finish the sentence CTO was like: shut up, don't tell me about it, we know, just please fix it..can you fix it? Please say yes..and don't talk about this anymore.. 😂😂😂6
Every general meeting with a CEO who has never tried the freaking product or prototype and has zero technical knowledge.
As well, just about two out of three meetings with a HR person.
I've had meetings with a CTO too where it legit could be a boring handbook or email used for inducing sleep at night.3
For the love of GOD, if you're an architect or someone in the position where you can make drastic changes to the overarching design of a software system, if you're so keen on enforcing something "cool" just because you've read about it in a blog post/seen it on a youtube video, READ ABOUT IT THOROUGHLY, as in, pick up a fucking book or do actual research. An architect overseas just informed us that a whole legacy PHP application (a fucking monolith with a dysfunctional database, yes, I think someone demented designed it) should be rewritten to a microservice architecture (without a messaging broker, just plain API interaction through HTTP) AND WE'RE KEEPING THE DATABASE WHICH BEGS TO BE PUT DOWN FOR GOOD. So now we're gonna have a clusterfuck of tons of PHP microservices (Q_Q) which interact through plain HTTP APIs (swagger's gonna be put to a test) and all have a single broken database in the center. Talk about a microlithic design. Jesus Christ.9
CTO/CEO (previous place) - we're not production engineers, so we're going to fork your code base and move way faster than all of you and then you can maintain it. Doesn't that sound inspiring?
25% of the company: ha... Here's our 2 week notice.2
When your CTO has full access to the production servers and makes SQL changes directly without following process. Then breaks production and tells everyone "this is why we need to follow process!". Then proceeds to break it again hours later.
So I recently started a new job and there's a boot camp as part of the on boarding process. I'm new to scala, I have python and golang backend experience.
During the scala session, the CTO shows us some examples and gives us an exercise to create a Todo REST API with user authentication, then goes to a meeting.
He was using a library called "bacon" in one of his examples, so we were busy struggling to get shit to work and googling "how to do x with scala bacon lib" with no results and we finally gave up.
CTO comes back 30 minutes later and wants to see to how far we got, so we ask him about this bacon lib only to find out that it's their own awesome framework. &$!#%
...What a day ,
"CTO new priority need this project started and completed ASAP."
Me: "What about my current project you wanted me to work on that was a high priority which took over Another project I was supposed to be working on?"
CTO: "This one is a higher priority than both of them"
Me: "ok sure shall get onto it".
PM: "A client has come in with an issue on another project I need this fixed now".
Team leader assigns me a bunch of tasks that need to get done which is ok but 5 people need me to get it done so they can do the bulk of their work.
Later for a side project CTO asks me to get a list together of things that are missing for this side project, about 60 seconds later he asks me to send him the email now - bare in mind nearly 300 assets I need to go through which are not organised so what the heck I just send him it mid sentence.
End of day get told that CTO wants me on yet another different project...
Each of these projects takes 4 months to get done. But arggggg... oh and then I hear that our new PM has decided to cut all project deadlines by half....
I am but a single person,
I just want to sit back and watch everything burn around me... But the company has a history of Scape goating people on failed project deadlines... Never a dull day in the office but tbh kinda like it.
Some tech from our ISP decided to fiddle with our connection during stand up. Our CTO is all up in his business, trying to figure out what the issue is. The tech is being pushed more and more away as our devops people join in on the chaos. Meanwhile I'm having coffee and looking forward to lunch.. Can't test if I don't have access to the server.
Just wanted to ask about the best souvenirs in Munich, Germany?
Our CTO is currently having a consultancy work in Munich, and would like to let him repay his debts for not delivering deliverables on time or should I spank his butt instead? So much for his demands and ignorance! 🤔 😈
Or any recommendations that could be of help?
In the interview process for my current job, I was tasked with multiple small tasks one of which was an AI task (easy one though). Now, most of my work is making the text size smaller so the content can fit in one page as the CTO wants.
I never said I was UI engineer let alone a frontend engineer. Also, there's no design to follow. Damn that.6
Company uses legacy "Web app" which only runs on an old version of Internet explorer. CTO told us to use a Windows VM since we have mac to run it. All for a website..... Ahhhh4
I sometimes hate my boss (CTO in a medium sized company). Despite that he is a real genius, he changes his mind every fucking day, only because he has 'thought through' a fucking problem which should not be in his concerns. That is my job you fucktard! You haven't been coding for 20 years and now you tell me how to do my job. But then when I need valuable input from you, you SKIP my scheduled MEETINGS FOR WEEKS!
JUST LET ME DO MY JOB, I'M NO IDIOT, BUT YOU GIVE ME THAT FEELING THAT I AM ONE!1
PM and CTO (direct boss) are always too busy to answer questions. CTO goes for hours without responding when I need him to clarify some task or to get access to something so I can set up something else (configure some server, whatever). PM is more available, but doesn't have the technical knowledge. CTO comes after hours asking me how the task is going, and refuses to make a call so we can communicate more effectively about stuff (whereas I never deny that to anyone when they need my help). Then, when I get late on tasks, CTO comes to me like "man, if you get stuck, ask for help". Like what is even the fucking point of asking for help if nobody will answer?
This is so fucking frustrating.1
I hate corporate doublespeak.
A CTO was fired after 2 years at the position because he insisted on some projects that didn't stick and were not profitable for the company. The word spread throughout the corridors that he was destroyed by the CEO in a board meeting, and soon after he left. The HR sent an e-mail right away for the entire IT sector THANKING him by "the invaluable effort in bringing in important projects to the company that raised the tecnology to the next level".
Oh, come on.3
CTO: We can't keep getting egg on our face letting these simple mistakes through. We value your expertise, please speak up.
QA: This looks fucky, should it look this fucky?
Dev: That is dangerously fucky.
QA: Ticket time.
PM: Hey Dev, I know it's not your AOE, but I need to assign it, and you spoke on it so here's your ticket.
Dev: *dies inside*2
I was doing an asset management project for the CTO of a small company in ASP.NET and the CTO decided to stick his crap smeared fingers into the development because he 'developed' a completely different AS/400 system which everyone complained was like having a dog smear it's balls all over your screen while taking a dump on your keyboard. Fucking idiot would have given me 2 weeks extra work with all the shit he broke if it wasn't for version control.
My current boss.. and CTO.. both are great & really laid back, they don't fuss about smoke breaks and are both keeping me in line so that I don't do much overtime (I am a freak for fixing stuff that gets easily consumed by the code)..
Tech management and leadership are the most toxic and cancerous folks of any organisation.
In all my past experience, I have encountered nut jobs.
If it were just me, then entire product or design org won't be suffering. What helps me confirm this hypothesis is every engineer who work for such retards is suffering and fighting for their existence.
We have monkey business going on with our CTO and his ass licking engineering head.
It is so awkward to watch 50 shades of grey movie and coding at the same time. Especially when the **** part someone pass by and watch it with you.
That someone is my CTO . He paid me RM 200 for the pass him the movies. Sounds like I have a new business.
So anyone need the movie , it is just 200MYR... 😂😂😂😈
Actually he can get it from torrent. But why?27
"The MVC framework is just a hype, we dont need to refactor our ASP.NET webshop" - former CTO
Dudeee, its a pattern not a framework, ever heard of 'single responsibily' instead of these monolithic 8000 line helper classes!3
Engineers are the most abused workforce in the entire country.
Also, CTOs are generally dumb. Yet to meet a good one.10
CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"
... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly3
Guys, serious question.
I work in a startup as a cto. We have a very low budget and considering hiring people offshore.
Does anyone have some experience in hiring and piloting a remote team? Would you recommend it?11
The moment when your CEO freaks out because he can’t login and starts insulting your architecture because he thinks its a caching issue even though it is a cookie issue because his CTO changed the domain on your cookie for no reason.2
New CTO pushes policy change to all browsers to open Facebook Workplace on every new tab and as start page.
Locks option to change it.
This also kills restoring tabs from past session.
New CTO handles the complaints
'It's fine to complain, we don't even have to agree. If this is important to you, then come up with a suggestion on how to solve this for all our employees. Business equirement is that one page is shown at startup, that's it. This has nothing to do with Workplace.'14
Fuck start ups with large projects with no continous integration setup on git... and very many junior devs including the CTO(Not even a googling guru).... for fucks sake we cant deliver spaghettis as iF we are coding a restauRANT... fuck this shit load of a project....4
You know what really grinds my gears?
When the CTO inserts himself into your development workflow even though he hasn't programed, let alone touched the keyboard in about 40 years.
I have had a meeting with "CTO" of pretty big factory. I was suppose to propose a new cloud solution for existing Sharepoint application. Unfortunately we didn't get into any agreement , because the dude only accepts SharePoint solutions and when I started talking about the cloud, he literally went nuts. He later have told me that he has been working here for over 20 years. The technical staff of that factory is just him and some other young guy and they only task they doing is to maintain complex Sharepoint infrastructure. If we hosted application in the cloud, he would lost his job.1
So, a few friends of mine are starting a company. They'll be the CEO, CTO etc. The product is an app, with its corresponding back end in the cloud. They want me to build the app.
1. I'm not willing to take risk - spending time on that (not my idea at the first place & may or may not go well)
2. Not sure if I'll be benefitted. (Monetary / stake)
3. I have few projects at hand & have plans to learn something more/new (not narrow down only to apps).
What should I do guys?? Recommendations??11
I'm seriously burned out "CTO" (small company 20 people, 4 developers).
Should I tell my CEO/CFO exactly that?
Should I tell them, I can't take it anymore, please help me.
Next month we'll have a fund raising opportunity.
I'm afraid it will sound like a blackmail.
I'm afraid they will think, ok, he's burned out, let find somebody else.
On the other side, if I take the risk myself, without telling anyone, I could explode and I'll be on my own.
What do you think it's the best approach?15
Omg fucking Microsoft Teams shit. Stop it with your auto pop op Emoji menu shit you utter cunts.
I just want to copy the bit of chat…not critique the fuck out of it
Why did our company sign up to this filthy mess? Cunt CTO taking backhanders…when he retires we will be left with this shit…what a wanker!9
So, I probably shouldn't post about this publicly, but I'm just exhausted.
There's a moment when you're writing a grievance letter to the CEO, and you're saying things like "evidence of discrimination includes a letter signed and sent via email and post by the CTO", and you have to giggle to yourself when you add "by default, I have not sent this letter via post as I believe this is a more environmentally friendly approach, however am more than happy to do so"2
Hmm... Okay crazy deadlines. We hacked together a really makeshift application to handle streaming content to end users. The proof of concept was demonstrated to a partner company on a Wednesday. They said they wanted it on Saturday. Our CTO agreed. We didn't sleep.2
CTO at my previous company think that wordpress based website is took a long time to load.
I suggest to use caching and fix ton of abusive query, He refused. He spun up more VM, upgrade the ec2 instance level to the max. Said that he resolved the problem. But the problem still persist actually.
Blame me for slow response website, blame me for late of deployment because data is not ready ( there's a lot of spam in there, we need to clean it before )
I left the company, Coworker said that he just install a bunch of caching plugin,
He made the website down for entire day and don't understand what is happening. Ask other developer to fix it quickly, to do unpaid overime
The site is back to bussiness, said to all team that he already fixed it.
Everything good happened, he claimed that it was his idea.
And the best part is : he put 'ssh' as skill list in his personal site1
When the CTO/CEO of your "startup" is always AFK and it takes weeks to get anything approved by them (or even secure a meeting with them) and they have almost-exclusive access to production and the admin account for all third party services.
Want to create a new messaging channel? Too bad! What about a new repository for that cool idea you had, or that new microservice you're expected to build. Expect to be blocked for at least a week.
When they also hold themselves solely responsible for security and operations, they've built their own proprietary framework that handles all the authentication, database models and microservice communications.
Speaking of which, there's more than six microservices per developer!
Oh there's a bug or limitation in the framework? Too bad. It's a black box that nobody else in the company can touch. Good luck with the two week lead time on getting anything changed there. Oh and there's no dedicated issue tracker. Have you heard of email?
When the systems and processes in place were designed for "consistency" and "scalability" in mind you can be certain that everything is consistently broken at scale. Each microservice offers:
1. Anemic & non-idempotent CRUD APIs (Can't believe it's not a Database Table™) because the consumer should do all the work.
2. Race Conditions, because transactions are "not portable" (but not to worry, all the code is written as if it were running single threaded on a single machine).
3. Fault Intolerance, just a single failure in a chain of layered microservice calls will leave the requested operation in a partially applied and corrupted state. Ger ready for manual intervention.
4. Completely Redundant Documentation, our web documentation is automatically generated and is always of the form //[FieldName] of the [ObjectName].
5. Happy Path Support, only the intended use cases and fields work, we added a bunch of others because YouAreGoingToNeedIt™ but it won't work when you do need it. The only record of this happy path is the code itself.
Consider this, you're been building a new microservice, you've carefully followed all the unwritten highly specific technical implementation standards enforced by the CTO/CEO (that your aware of). You've decided to write some unit tests, well um.. didn't you know? There's nothing scalable and consistent about running the system locally! That's not built-in to the framework. So just use curl to test your service whilst it is deployed or connected to the development environment. Then you can open a PR and once it has been approved it will be included in the next full deployment (at least a week later).
Most new 'services' feel like the are about one to five days of writing straightforward code followed by weeks to months of integration hell, testing and blocked dependencies.
When confronted/advised about these issues the response from the CTO/CEO
(A) "yes but it's an edge case, the cloud is highly available and reliable, our software doesn't crash frequently".
(B) "yes, that's why I'm thinking about adding [idempotency] to the framework to address that when I'm not so busy" two weeks go by...
(C) "yes, but we are still doing better than all of our competitors".
(D) "oh, but you can just [highly specific sequence of undocumented steps, that probably won't work when you try it].
(E) "yes, let's setup a meeting to go through this in more detail" *doesn't show up to the meeting*.
(F) "oh, but our customers are really happy with our level of [Documentation]".
Sometimes it can feel like a bit of a cult, as all of the project managers (and some of the developers) see the CTO/CEO as a sort of 'programming god' because they are never blocked on anything they work on, they're able to bypass all the limitations and obstacles they've placed in front of the 'ordinary' developers.
There's been several instances where the CTO/CEO will suddenly make widespread changes to the codebase (to enforce some 'standard') without having to go through the same review process as everybody else, these changes will usually break something like the automatic build process or something in the dev environment and its up to the developers to pick up the pieces. I think developers find it intimidating to identify issues in the CTO/CEO's code because it's implicitly defined due to their status as the "gold standard".
It's certainly frustrating but I hope this story serves as a bit of a foil to those who wish they had a more technical CTO/CEO in their organisation. Does anybody else have a similar experience or is this situation an absolute one of a kind?2
So the company I work at is moving to a new location. We are a small company, so we were all talking about potential problems with the move - network, internet, firewalls, access to servers and so on. Us trying to cover all possible scenarios.
Our CTO looks up and says: “or we could just cross our fingers and hope for best”.
From our CTO:
"As cheesy as it may sound, if you want things to change, you need to be the change"
I was able to build a team based on that, now our team is looked at as the "cool team" in the company.1
So my co-founder, tried to outdo my equity in the company, by asking me to give up percentage of our equity for his father, so that he could have the leverage.
He is not talking to me since then,
When I said politely to piss off.
Just because you are a techie people try to abuse you
Any advice ?9
Team lead: guys, we need to brainstorm on feature X. We can have this service do blah blah..., have a cache at blah blah...
Me: I think it's too complicated. We can simplify the design by doing blah blah... and measure the performance as we go, let's not do premature optimization.
Team lead: no, we definitely need this. We'll pitch this to the CTO later
*Later when we meet the CTO*
Team lead: Hi Mr CTO, about feature X, we're gonna do this blah blah... what do you think?
CTO: *basically repeats what I said*
Team lead: Thank you for the insights, really helpful. We will do as you suggest.
WHAT THE FUCK?3
So, recently new CTO joined.
And suggested to migrate our entire platform on GO from PHP.
And all dev teams will get new macs.
Its gonna take more 3-4 months so.
Kind of exicted to work on.7
CEO offers me a position
CTO sends me 7 logical interview questions, including asking me to write a program that converts binary to decimal in Node...2
Having a CTO who was a strong backend developer, has zero understanding of UI/ UX and frontend part of code is funny as hell, weird and scary at the same time.2
I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.2
Worst: forced to work for 9 months on a shitty wp theme:
- colleague with no clue trying to make me do their work… check
- incompetent manager doing shit about it… check
- idiotic pipeline requiring to redeploy for every asset update… check
- micromanaging cto which for some fucking reason didn’t want to allow access to the writers, forcing the role of content editor on the devs… ducking check! Quack!!
Best: automated lots of processes in my free time, all stuff which I can reuse!
Ernest Hemingway and @bittersweet once competed in whose shortest story is the saddest. Ernest wasn't original, boasting his old "baby shoes" charade. But @bittersweet, proving the culture is changed, and new talent beats the old, won, with this story of his:
"CTO is wanted by YC unicorn. Requirements: PHP 5.4".1
Once I had an interview where in the last part the cto of the bank asked me a question about the history of my country instead of a appropriate programming one. Of course I couldn't answer and got nervous but I still want to punch that motherfucker in the face.
The good: dotnet core RTM
The bad: my previous shitty work place, their shitty product, the very shitty TL that had no fucking idea how to lead or manage the team
The ugly: the shit storm I dropped on TL, group leader, CEO/CTO when I left...
The CTO was on stage at the annual employee meeting. After some time he said:"well,I never wanted to hire X and Y. They're doing nothing but nonsense and the technic they are using is nothing but a hype."
The technic he talked about: Java, object oriented programming and cloud applications...3
Get given two asset packs for a project I confirm with project lead, project manager and CTO which one they want to use. They then confirm with client and they all decided asset pack 2. Ok great, 3 months later week before deadline "we need asset pack 1 used instead"... Different resolution, different aspect ratio and now get nagged every few minutes how done is it, and that it's vital we meet the deadline. So close to just walking out that door.
CTO pointed out a typo in my branch. Agreenment.
I think I'll have to search for a new workplace 😢4
I like a Product Manager/Owner/CTO who invites coffee when a dev burnout. This is not a story, a hope seems to be.2
With his last tweets (and the last days), Musk has shown he is a total fraud.
This thousand requests story was possible to check just by installing a Wireshark-like on Android.
And I remember having a CTO exactly like this. Always an opinion on every damn technical thing, often making no sense at all and all the time totally off.
Which drives me to this conclusion :
If you are a CTO/CEO/C Bullshit O, go back to your damn office, fill your paperwork and for the sanity of every engineer, shut your mouth.22
Tru-lyfe CTO (CTC) stories:
I spelled a juniors name wrong in a commit message...
Am I an asshole?
P.S.: it was 100% fully NOT on purpose, it's just an alternate spelling of the name, i.e. Jakob instead of Jacob (not the name of course, for privacy purposes, just an example)7
1 CEO, 3 CTO and 2 Polytechnicien (French engineers from a big French school)
They all deserved that their project called "life" were cancelled. It's a clear and indisputable failure!
It gets fucking old, yet it always keeps coming back like Christmas.
If I had a fucking euro each time a CTO asks me why they need CORS and TLS to use webrtc (even on LAN??!1! 🤯), I'd be fucking rich.
At least this time the time I wasted explaining it again was paid for at a much higher rate...7
Have a question about company (startup) stocks.
I’m going to work in a startup and build a product I actually believe in. I’ll be vague, but it’s environment focused for profit platform. Anyways, I’ll be the first software engineer. They’ve just hired a CTO.
I loved talking with the CEO and he assured me that the stock options will definitely not be symbolic.
What can I expect? What’s too little or too much? I’ve never received stocks from any kind of company.
Advices looking for a job in Canada as a foreign?
I've been a software developer for 4 years now. I started in small company in Rome as jr developer where I'm now the CTO... I now feel stuck in this job cause the company makes a lot of money from the core product and there is no room for innovation.
I was looking for a drastic change in my life and career and Canada seems a good place to me.
So, any advices?9
CTO needed me to add the some more functionality to a specific script and then test it out on the main site. 2 days later, I have it working from the command line, but it won't respond to the site. After some digging, I find out the script he pointed me to isn't even in use and the script that actually needs to be modified is like 1500 lines long and set up entirely different than the one I had already finished. Back to the drawing board.
unfortunately we have a new CTO and handful of senior level resources joining our company this week, and I've risen to too lofty a position to be able to take the day off.
but they are sorely mistaken if they expect me not to fuck off to at least some degree. I also managed to obtain a PS5 last week so my attention this week never stood a chance. the most they'll get is a couple hours worth of on-boarding meetings outta me.
As I'm on a research/algorithm improvement project at work I'm working pretty much independently. As such I've set up an automated test framework and writing tests for any piece of code I touch.
Today as I was fixing a bug in production area I was demoing my tests to CTO and principal design engineer. They come from a hardware background and have pushed back against automated tests in the past but they were interested in what I was doing.
I WILL DRAG THEM KICKING AND FUCKING SCREAMING INTO THE WORLD OF AUTOMATED TESTS.1
CTO of a firm is taking my interview for a summer internship profile. I am so excited and afraid, it will be a 15 min telephonic interview.
When the CTO goes through some code during a meeting and all of a sudden you feel like having Italian food
My cto again liked my work and talked to me with my native language :3 it was great :3 I love my job .
Anyone working as a CTO in a small startup (10-40 people)? What’s the best advice you can give me?
Starting as a CTO next month.12
When you're looking for the person that wrote over your changes by force pushing and you find out it was your CTO.1
So in my company there few small teams all with lead devs. One team is leaded by a girl who changed her profession. She's good at architecture/Dev stuff. But one thing she's terrible at is her leading role. She won't confront any bad behavior, she won't ask about any problem with the tasks. She won't ask her tram how long will the tasks take, so she puts her own valuations.
But the killer is she's whining everyday to the management about her team members. That they didn't do their tasks/don't want to cooperate. Never looking in the eyes even when she whines about a person in the same room.
Another thing is that our CTO is always doing her leading job, confronting team members, giving them reprimends. She lost all her authority by this. Nobody respects her. And after a slight note about her behavior you just gonna get a big talk with CTO and nothing will change.
Another thing is that, she Nevers connect with her team. Don't talk together, won't go with them for the coffee, never at the integration parties.
That CTO connection is another topic...
Oh and I'm by the next month I'm gonna be throwed into her team, so wish me luck...1
CTO sends out a mandatory meeting invite for "Company Culture." No further information provided, scheduled the day before, and everyone is expected to drop everything to go to it... I think the meeting is unnecessary, this has said enough about the "culture".3
Both my actual and previous boss. Egocentric, narcisitic, unfit for their roles, detached from reality, intransigents, etc.
Can't really understand how guys like these become CTO or CTO wannabes when others are more qualified... Whatever... They are smart on taking care of "their" life. <insert shrug here>3
Guys, im in a recruitment process and monday will be the last interview with the CTO.
The position is for a Senior .NET Developer.
The HR told me its a DESIGN INTERVIEW
What the heck?
Design what? UML? No idea, never seen this before3
Can I go to CTO and demand that he will demote a "senior engineer" (who takes senior's paycheck) who don't know what "race condition" is, and how to design/deal with it?
Why? Why I can't?15
It seems like everyone else in my team except me and the cto are using dark theme. I see dark theme is the meta since Sauron. Am i one of the last ones to be using light theme?4
Our company is remote-controlled by one or two customer companies. Our CTO is remote-controlled by them also. And if that wasn't enough it feels like he has no competence in the development of normal software (not customer projects).
Officially the management in our company doesn't have the right to give direct orders to the development teams. In reality, they just ignore this rule and play dictator.
It feels that the management thinks that all developers in the company are just asses and idiots who screw up everything.3
I was assigned a project which was previously done by another fresher, the project used angular and bootstrap. That fucker wrote custom styles for the fucking bootstrap classes!!! Every time I use "btn-primary" the button won't become blue, it becomes white!! Fuck! He even wrote his own fucking styles for the grid classes!!
I was so frustrated, I had a discussion with my CTO, he told me, that after 3 months, we'll be scraping this and moving to a new frontend. So I'm stuck in this hell for 3 months.
I work at a small company (4 devs, CTO, a senior, me: mid level, and a new junior dev). Junior and I handle the client projects and the Senior and CTO handle the overall platform and server deployments and such. Our senior dev just gave his 2 weeks notice. I was told they are not replacing him and now ALL of his tasks have been pushed onto me on top of all my already full plate. My issue is, although I am excited to learn about the upper management and deployment stuff, they (CTO and CEO) just dumped all these tasks onto me without even asking if I wanted the added responsibility and also told me there is no monetary bonus for taking it all on. Am I right in being a little mad that I was not even asked if I wanted it and it was just assumed I would handle it all without any bonus or monetary promotion?5
So my company says they are paying the market rate, and I should be grateful about it. When I went for interviews at "some big companies", I got offers from 2 different companies with the annual pay x2.5 of what I am getting here.
My current company mentality is so shitty that they only want to hire undergrads or people from oversea so they can pay less.
I do not even know what my fucking role is at this point, I do DevOps, I fucking do infra, I also do SRE shit, then I also write fucking code for servers. Yet my pay is slightly less than just "dev" working at good companies. Fuck my company, I am leaving soon.
I am not the only one in the shit show here, our PM also has to write code because most of our developers left. Most of the time, CTO is not even in the office, the company is basically run by some managements below CTO.6
A CTO of a certain very large russian company I worked for touched me inappropriately without my consent.11
That moment when the CTO rants about php and you ask them to name one of their grievances. And they say:
"It doesn't support private properties."
CTO: I want you to take up a side project and push it to production. Atleast 1 per quarter. Also, you have to keep making tiny enhancements to the website on weekends. And it would be great if you can mentor and help the other team with architecture. And, don't you feel itchy that the app you made in that hackathon is not used by any user? Productionize it. Don't forget to update me on your primary task at the end of biweekly sprint, that goes without said.
Want to become CEO in a big ass megacorp in your 50ties? Read this study.
Let me just say that I've been playing whack a mole with a new feature for while now. And it's becoming very tiring.
TLDR; CTO is changing the way we're going to implement this, every other day.
CEO: let's implement feature AAA,
CTO: we're going to have a call with Andy to tell us all about his product that will make this super easy, call will be June 4th.
Days before June 4th,
Me: Researchs product X, makes demo works flawlessly.
Call all good, few tips from Andy. We come to the pricing section of Product X
CTO: this will not work, pricing doesn't fit on our budget, fair enough.
June 7th -11th
Me: research altenative approach. Makes second demo.
CTO: Works good, seems to have too many moving parts, let's have call with Bob to check Product Y. It should make our lifes easier.
ME: Geee, ok let's check it out.
Call with Bob, all good, product has a fair price, stuff is experimental.
CTO: let's use Product Y, and just use what we get from their api now, and worry about changes later.
Me: Hmmm, that's a bit risky, but ok, you the boss, right?, starts again new demo. API doesn't work as documented.
Lots of trial and error to figure out how the api is working now, finally demo works well,
API changed, now it works as documented, (expected as it is experimental), previous demo doesn't work anymore.
Redoing research. inputs are completely different from Product Y now, need to redo all that is working and do and a lot more of research.
Go live is scheduled for end of next week, I hope that the API is stable now, and that I get to go live on schedule.
It is funny to see, that it would probably been the same if we just waited on the API to stabilize, and check the pricing section before choosing a product? Who knows.
Anyways, I actually feel happy that over the years I developed the patience to work with ever changing situations like this one.4
I am currently on module has already the passed the sprint and current burnout chart is way far that my CTO will likely burn the chart and I my ass is burning as that module is required by other fellow developers.
Fucking Terraform examples and documentation.
I have been working on it for almost 2 weeks now finally made 80% progress and still 20% burn needed. Kind of deadlock.
I am not sure what to do. Just sit and watch my CTO burns over me. (Definately going to be remark in future engagement with HR)
So today I got to see one of the most stupid architectural choices I have ever seen.
They have a service-oriented architecture. Mainly Python and Elixir.
A lot of computation goes in the Python services.
And the Elixir services as used to expose RestApi. Basic ones, basically DB proxies.
Not a lot of async, or communication... Just plain CRUD.
Why the fuck do you use Elixir for that?? And now they can't recruit someone... And the CTO doesn't get why it was a stupid choice!!!
And in python, they use async functions with sync DB APIs...1
when CTO says we need to start writing exactly how long we worked on specific project and explain what exactly we did in that time.
I don't wanna keep track of my every minute spent..
I did not sign up for this sh!t...3
I have a hard desicion to make and I don't know how to choose...
I'll graduate tech uni in a year. I want to work in a start up when I am done. A few days ago my father offered me a position in his company as CTO. Despite the fact that I have ZERO management experience. I'll have to work for him for roughly ten years, then he wants to quit. Do I take the high paying job that I might not enjoy or do I try my luck with a startup/ software company...7
So a certain functionality in one of our critical systems has to be refactorised and changed to accommodate a new workflow.
So after several days of CTO, CEO talking with me, as I lead this project. We don't have a solution, so the CEO solution is asking fucking everyone in the company.
Juniors that can not tell between an interface or an abstract class come to my desk to tell me how the system should be designed.
Thanks a lot management to make my life easier.
Is it common to have CTO who don't know shit and yet gets to make the call? What can be done to prevent this imbalance at work?3
“Everything fails all the time!”
"Werner Vogels, fuck you, everywhere, all the time!"
from rant import workflow
Tl;dr - I have a share of the product's backend, everyone expects it to work, no one cares how and i can spare with i, me, and myself getting there.
CTO: We need this solution, what do you need for data?
ME: Okay, thing0, thing1, thing2, preferably a ton of samples.
C: Here, also, there's a new full-timer who will help you. And you can do some sparing with.
M: Cool, i have several approaches to discuss.
*new full-timer attends fewer times than me as a part-timer*
*standup meetings talks about status, problems - yeah, whatever reactions*
*full-timer doesn't attend still, gets a "quick" (in case of consistently showing up) task to fix something in another backend part*
Me @ a standup lately: So, approach 4 worked, polishing it, but I soon-ish need to know a few things so I can finish up and fully integrate it.
CTO: Okay, when *full-timer* gets in so she's included.
*waiting for X days (x>8)*
Wondering, how the education path of CTO looks like? What college and what studies needs CTO to complete? Can someone explain this to me? I can't find anything interesting on the web.16
I work at startup we have CEO, CMO, COO, CFO, but the guy who hired for CTO prefer to be called IT Director (came from corporate), he always busy checkin wifi problem, also he always prefer calendar using whiteboard (did he know google calendar exists?).
My last workplace would fit to that tag quite well.
CTO who was also in charge of firing / laying off people is a code nazi that forced everyone to use some absurd code styling.
I made 3 designs (more like proof of concepts) 2 months ago for a certain feature request.
2 months ago:
I presented to the CTO & CEO and the senior developer.
Senior developer prefers design A
CTO prefers design A with some very minor changes
CEO prefers design C with some major changes (ok, at this point is it more design D)
CTO & senior dev tried to argue for his idea but gave up.
So we decide to implement Design D
Customers complained that the designs is not clear (UX-wise)
CEO: "I have the idea to make some adjustments" and explained design A.
This happens pretty much for every other feature request since I started doing designs for new features. Previously they implemented it without designs.4
okay so I already did one of these but I totally blanked about the actual best worst
Got offer to be CTO of a local charity
Funding fell through, so it didn't happen
The CTO of the company which released Websphere has the audacity of talking about simplifying deployment ecosystem.
I was working in a voyager's project in my office, my CTO sent me an sql script to import a basic DB and when I run the project and I try to access to localhost/admin, ¡boom!, amazing exception.
I forgot type composer install in the project XD I felt very noob in that moment
My CTO still uses msql_connect in production...
Now, I have to change everything without uses any framework because, he doesn't like it.2
So I just started working on a site for a new client who has been working on getting their startup off the ground. Their CTO has built the site so far but I've never seen so much styling and js online in a RoR app... FML.1
I work for a media company with different business units such as radio, print, newspaper etc and radio is the largest (most money) of them all. The online unit (dev & social media) was relatively small until recently. So IT and budget is mostly focussed on radio.
Last budget meeting we asked to upgrade our internet and hardware (we have shitty laptops and very shitty screens). CTO of the group says to me: "I don't really belive in the internet because I don't really understand it so I can't see why you need these upgrades...nobody else complains about these issues."
Me internally: "how the fuck did you become CTO....??"
Me to him: nobody complains because they are sales consultants who reads emails and make phone calls all day...
CTO: I'll look into it but i'm not really convinced...
How do you win this fight???
Worked as a swift ios developer for 2years now, boycotted java (android) and objective-c alltogether.
The damn guy doesn’t have to implement a single line of code ! I do !
As if having to dev on xcode 9 wasn’t bad enough already 👏👏
Tech and product teams have to be aligned. If not, there’s chaos where dev teams suffer. No skunk project(s), no adhoc project(s), No special or pet projects for the CTO or Product Manager. Figure out what needs to get done, plan a road map, plan milestones to get there, consider the folks who ACTUALLY does the work. Protect your teams work-life balance.1
development progress is like chinese whispers; "we have encountered issues and will be delayed" becomes "we'll be ready to push to prod by COB" when it reaches the CTO. /facepalm
Every idea that I suggest to my cto, he turns it down, giving some stupid reason like nobody will use it, other tasks are more important than this. I hate this guy so much for not doing things when they can be done. I have no idea why he procrastinates and will he ever consider my suggestions in the future.3
Recruiter writes to me on LinkedIn for a job
Have an interview with the recruiter, everything smooth
Then interview with the HR of the company, everything smooth
Then the HR talks to the CTO, and the CTO is like "mmmmh this guy works as a consultant, I don't like this. Yeet him".
This absolute madman out there not giving a single flying fuck about consultants, head hunter, HR, only pure coding, literally living the dream.
full-stack dev with a side project
get fired, side project gets investors money enough for me to do side project full-time
over-inflated CTO title but suddenly I'm not only coding but in charge of interns, operations, ML, strategic planning, etc...
should feel lucky but at the same time kind of not really sure what to do first since I'm kind of in charge of everything... facepalm.exe
any suggestions? thx!6
So I applied for this company that was a perfect fit for me, I cleared the take home assignment and did the round with CEO and CTO.
When it came to CTO round, he handn't even gone through the take home assignment task that I submitted, instead he asked me about hackathon experiences . Now I have 6 years of experience and during the technical round, he was out not even on the call for most of the interview.
It makes me more angry than sad . Hopefully I can channel this anger into motivation for a better company
Today I got the rejection email and it makes me so angry , how can you go through multiple rounds until the end and reject without giving any reason ?
Their whole tech team consist of people during internships and just out of college.4
As a big company CTO will you hire developers from Africa. And how much will you recommend as starting salary .2
75% of the meetings with tech management (CTO and alike) could be efficient and effective if only they used proper tooling with Issues and Milestones as provided by their *self-hosted* GitLab instance.
They just use emails instead.
My first day at my first job.
I am super hyped. Now I like be like Mario under a hidden infinite coin's brick, siphoning knowledge from better than me.
First project meeting :
- (CTO) OK, Lets copy paste everything needed from our last project and tomorrow we start development
And this is how we created a new project in ancient toolset2
So im working for this company and we work monday to friday....and i think my CTO is "funny"...we can be free half the week with not much work to do or we actually have completed all the work that was described... but he then comes in friday evening and tells us how everything should be working on monday....what everything?! What fucking everything?!!! Mind you we don't come in saturday or sunday......the everything he is talking about is suggestions we had made to him about how the system should work and he said no....now he thinks its a better thing to do....and he pushes all those refactors on the last day of the week....we had all week nigga what the fuck!!!....
Our only PM out 3 weeks on vacation, we are now only developers, our CEO and CTO. None of them have any idea of being a PM - just ask random questions about work, hands the phone to us whenever a customer calls - Generally have clue whats going on. FML!1
Guys, actually i am a very slow coder, in the last two weeks my progress was very less hence today while meeting my CTO told me he is very disappointed with my progress and he will speak with my boss soon to discuss about me. Do you think he will fire me because of it? Actually i am working on react native and its very new to me. I am still learning stuff about it. But the tasks are kinda overwhelming. So i am taking this much time with it.11
Just been moved to a different team.
I talked to the old team leader, the new team leader and the CTO. Those are 3 people and I got 4 conflicting explanations.
Yesterday’s dev achievement. Created a docsify project so that the rest of the company can start documenting their shot.
Something I had implemented in my team a while back, first thing this morning I get a message from the CTO to add mermaid support for his architectural graphs for his latest project.
Tomorrow’s dev achievement, 0 lines of code will be written after 9am.
The fact that I can hear my work provide MBP 13" through my bose QC35's means that my current employer cheaped out on hardware end of story!!1
Some of you requested this, I think it would be helpful for some of the guys there.
Friday morning's meeting:
CTO: Ok guys, deadline is next Friday so today we close the last big issues and next week no more new features, only bug fixing.
Monday morning's meeting:
Business: So here is the new mock-up for the search feature (basically they changed the whole behavior).
After 7 years law is changing. The company that hired me as freelance CTO needs to offer me a contract.
Damnit! I can't charge too much anymore!
Can anyone share a junior dev/intern story in which they were happy/satisfied ? Like what tasks you used to do, what were your responsibilities, what was the support from seniors/leads/managers/founders/ceo/cto whenever you were stuck, how was the pressure of work there, etc?
My previous few posts might tell you that am having second thoughts about this internship of mine.7
Botched the technical interview with the CTO he got me with fucking left joins x,) I'm forever stuck at my dead end job, I'm destined to wither in that wilderness of spaghetti and poor practices2
'CTO': We need this application to be desktop, client-server and self-installable(like a multiplayer game. Counter-Strike for example. Only here we are talking about a business application)
Me: (20 min explanation of the complications and limitations of the architecture).
'CTO': Don't worry. We're gonna explain all that on the user manual.
'CTO': I got an idea. What if we deploy the client separately. It will be a dumb client. It will contain just views. That way you don't have to code an API.
The guy was thinking that a dumb client is like a remote desktop window where all is happening on the other side.🤦2
Can a React.JS expert help me to understand something?
In short, I would like to know what are the main differences between react version 15.6 and 17, in terms of browser issues, and component compatibility?
We have a legacy code base that is in version 15.6 and the team wants to upgrade it and I am attempting to argue with my dumb CTO to upgrade to version 17. However, I’m not versed in react, I'm just a PO and the CTO doesn't know anything but for some odd reason is adamant about staying on an older version. The developers gave me their opinion but I'm interested in an outside opinion.5
Who has the final say or is in charge hierarchically in your company, product ppl/head/department or the cto/vp r&d?
Pls mention company size small/medium/large
Just want to know what's more accepted in the industry.
To clearify, for example, do most projects ideas get created by the managment and brought to RnD director who then assigns the product team to create the full specifications.
Or, is the idea first reaches product departmnet and then RnD department just gets the specifications and starts work.3
Everything I did was wrong with a CTO because I didn't format identically to him, balls were busted daily.
2019. I found a guy, CTO of our client. 50+ age. He teaches a lot to us. In development, I enjoy this year, because this year has more learning then last year.
I start work on 3 more languages, see more possiblities in IT, Avionics Softwares, Aviation systems.
This year, I also learn a lot about data center power distribution.
So this year was full of learning and new things in development and IT.2
Worst?? When our CTO told us to study the whole template app, and after 1month one dev keep on asking me where he can find those services and function.. -_-