After mass layoffs my team went from 10 engineers to 4 with no drop in expectations. This was a ridiculous ask, everyone was burnt out and could not keep up. For some reason the geniuses in management gave me a bad performance review despite me doing 2 to 3 full time workloads.

That day I put in applications and got an offer in less than a month from one of them. Put in my notice and suddenly it was surprised Pikachu face. Now they are down to 3 engineers and admitted it would be months before they had the revenue to even backfill my position.

Good riddance.

My team lead had a history of being vindictive. After 1 engineer left she talked a lot of shit on him. After another left (who was extremely well liked), she surprisingly talked a lot of shit on her.

Well I put in my resignation and reached out to personally thank her for the years of working together. I said she could use me as a reference any time. She did not reciprocate. In fact, her entire demeanor was cold and confrontational.

No idea why I thought I would be any different, she's just a shitty person.

Manager: "are you doing this obscure process that I laid out months ago with no plan or follow through?"

Me: "no, my other 3 managers said they didn't see any value in it, not sure how to keep everyone happy"

Manager: "that's not what we want! You need start doing this obscure process now!"

We have 20 engineers total in my company and I have 4 managers. Office Space was a documentary.

Non-technical manager who been managing my team for years: "hey can you take a look at this log?"

*log is all PHP*

Us: "we're iOS devs, none of us know PHP"

Manager: "well why not?"

HOW DO YOU GET PAID MORE THAN US

Non technical bosses managing technical people should never be allowed. It'd be like if the head chef at a restaurant only knew how to cook Lean Cuisine, but bossed around all the other chefs on how they should do their job.

"Hey team! I went to a 3 day conference to hear someone speak and now I have this grand idea to completely change the way we do development! OK let's not train anyone on anything either! And..... Go!"

.... I heard this today after we already changed everything a year ago. Nothing like middle managers who do yearly purchases of snake oil.

Our company wants us to fill out monthly surveys to tell managers how happy we our at work and to give them feedback. The survey will not be anonymous as they asked us to self identify.

Also the company is small (just over 100 people) and over 1/3rd of staff have been fired over the past year.

Yeahhhhh, how about no

When the only other person on your dev team is an arrogant, miserable piece of shit that you despise but have to pretend to get along with so you can get a paycheck

Although 80% of the company is on vacation, we were forced to put out a beta version of the biggest part of our app that's used by tens of thousands of people.

The best is that everyone knows this is a terrible idea but they still don't give a shit.

My coworker has been freaking out that our company doesn't do Agile or Scrum right and it will negatively impact his career. He claims that some elite company will want him to prove he worked in well oiled Agile machine. He also claims his last company had it down to a T yet he voluntarily left so they couldn't have been that damn spectacular.

I'm on my 7th company and no one does this shit "right", everyone makes it up. Also it's impossible to prove that you worked in a perfect environment to a different employer, if they even care at all. If someone asks, just tell them what they want to hear because no one actually works in this mythical world of Agile perfection.

My coworker has been freaking out that our company doesn't do Agile or Scrum right and it will negatively impact his career. He claims that some elite company will want him to prove he worked in well oiled Agile machine. He also claims his last company had it down to a T yet he voluntarily left so they couldn't have been that damn spectacular.

I'm on my 7th company and no one does this shit "right", everyone makes it up. Also it's impossible to prove that you worked in a perfect environment to a different employer, if they even care at all. If someone asks, just tell them what they want to hear because no one actually works in this mythical world of Agile perfection.

Had to talk to another team to change 1 value in a database I didn't have access to. It should have taken 2 minutes but instead took them two hours. This was before they went on a public rant in front of the CTO and CEO telling my team how we need to re-architect everything we've done in the past 8 months because it didn't meet their personal standards.

I have never even met these people prior and all I needed was 1 fucking value changed. Somehow my company thinks this is culturally acceptable.