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Learning soft skills.

I'm about as direct with coworkers and managers as I am on devRant. And I still think being painfully direct is often better than playing the heavily politicized office game of thrones.

But sometimes it's better to say:

"CTO, I think we need your skills to build bridges to other departments and manage recruitment. You're the only one who understands both technology and people, so drop your developer role and become our ambassador"

Instead of:

"Dear CTO, your code makes my eyes bleed. Your CS degree was a fucking waste of tax money, and it's quite clear that cheap college beer washed out all of your reasoning skills. We should fill the space you're taking up with a beanbag chair, because you're providing negative value to the company. How many investor cocks did you have to deep throat to get where you are?"

Now, I just pick option one, smile politely, and tell him we need to increase department budget as indemnification for having to work with a retard like him. Uh I mean... "to get developer salaries up to a competitive level so we can retain knowledge"

Comments
  • 18
    I didn't overcome this btw.

    It's more of a work in progress.
  • 3
    Awesome, thanks for the joy I had reading this. 😆
  • 11
    I haven't figured this out yet.

    CEO: Let me get into the code and tweak it. I was a Java developer 10 years ago.

    Me: It is not a Java project.

    CEO: I just don't like being so hands off on the project.

    Me: Sure but we still need to quote... you need to call...
    YOU SET US BACK 2 FUCKING WEEKS EVERY TIME YOU TEABAG YOUR KEYBOARD AND CLICK SAVE.
  • 10
    @Composmentis

    "You should try writing microservices, it's what companies like Netflix do for their backend, it scales really well"

    (Read: If you must write code, I need to sandbox the fruits of your incomprehensible stagnant mind, we need to quarantine it like malware, and probably destroy it as soon as you're distracted by a picture of a cat wearing a tie on Slack)
  • 9
    @Composmentis you should just let him work on git branch "only for him" that never gets merged into master :)
  • 2
    @bittersweet he won't use slack due to "its too complicated"

    Instead we should use Skype because he can make a new conversation thread every few minutes.

    However, they do have a cat pictures bot, so you might have saved the day.
  • 1
    @sinisas I like this idea.
    It's perfect for having the team take watercooler breaks to have a good laugh at a common interest.
  • 1
    @Composmentis lol my boss also hangs on to Skype and refused to get onto slack. He is currently one of the very few people left in the office that communicates over Skype, and the only contact for the rest of us is mostly him :')

    Meanwhile everybody else just uses slack
  • 0
    Pretty much why I am now looking for a new job :)
  • 1
    😂😂 I tend to say the latter. I think my boss has picked up on me not liking him
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