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She: Uuggrrr.. You did it again
Me: What
She: Stop opening the dev tools
Me: Oh sorry
She: Leave me alone with your laptop.
10 min later
Me: What did you change?
She: I tried to remove the dev tools by changing the dragged position to a negative value in chromes config files.
Me: wow.
She: Didn't work.
Me: Hehe, nice try though
*opens chrome*
Me: wut.
She: *chuckles*
- Light pink theme
- 500% zoom
- Font size changed
- Some virus search engine (my search?)
- deleted some plugins
- start page randomcolour.org (or color? (<- me css freak))16 -
'Normal' people when they get a new phone:
- install whatsapp
- install Facebook (or other social media)
- install regular email app
Me:
- Root phone
- Install app ops
- Install Signal
- Install encrypted email services' app
- Install firewall
- Install devRant
Anyone else like me here?37 -
"I have a terminal illness"
*room goes silent*
"so I stopped using the terminal"
*bob throws his keyboard at me*5 -
*deep breath*
Remain calm, don’t freak out, remain calm, don’t freak out.
*deep breath*
Ok, so my sort of new manager (had a slightly different manger-ish role on the team), has for the third time in as many months, just sent an email criticizing the dev team for our working from home-ness (which for the record has not been that bad, 2/3 or 3/3 have been in everyday for the past month)
In this same period, there has been late nights, weekends, successful releases, I’ve been invited to talk at a conference about my work (not a particularly big one, but still). Point is, everything is going well, very well in fact.
There has been no emails discussing our great work, thanking us for extra work, thanking us for picking up slack from other teams who are down a few people etc. no our major concern it seems is the “optics” of our team not being present in the open space.
Our contracts list flexible working hours, and his boss has frequently told us WFH is fine when things are too busy. But no he is complaining for us to get our hours in the office in line and make sure we are in the office more.
It’s been a particularly long and frustrating week, and I’m very tempted to inform him that if he is concerned about my chair and desk looking empty, that I can put them somewhere for him where they will always be occupied until a surgeon can remove them.
However, thanks to the deep breaths, I’ve managed to restrain myself long enough to run this past you all first and ask advice.
Please help,
Sincerely,
My sanity15 -
Found this gem on GitHub:
// At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD format.
// PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it such would be an
// insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is an abysmal format. Having
// worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire
// that burns with the fierce passion of a million suns.
// If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in different
// places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would think of, and do those
// too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for instance, did it suddenly decide
// that *these* particular chunks should be aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement
// should *not* be included in the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned,
// or aligned with the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included.
// Either one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD,
// of course, uses all three, and more.
// Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the attic of
// your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack on his 58th
// birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes of the simile, but
// at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing fates for the people
// responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format.
// Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To do this,
// I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them consider sending
// me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a copy of some document or
// other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine that they make this process so
// difficult because they are intensely ashamed of having created this abomination. I
// was naturally not gullible enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done
// so, I would have printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire.
// Were it within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
// them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
//
// PSD is not my favourite file format.
Ref : https://github.com/zepouet/...16 -
Programming is like sex because...
- One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
- Once you get started, you'll only stop because you're exhausted.
- It takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you're doing.
- ...Conversely, there's some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
- You can do it for money or for fun.
- If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you're some kind of freak.
- It's not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
- Public schools don't do a very good job teaching kids about it.
- It doesn't make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
- Some people are just naturally good at it.
- ...But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you're wasting your time trying to tell them.
- There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
- One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
- It's a great way to spend a lunch break.
- Everyone acts like they're the first person to come up with a new technique.
- Everyone who's done it pokes fun at those who haven't.
- Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.
Source and full list : https://push.cx/2006/...1 -
It was fun to watch my entire high school (~1200 people) freak out when I ran "net send * Big brother is watching you..." on what I found to be an insecure computer in my high school's library. Every single computer in the building displayed the pop up message. The town's IT director even showed up to figure out what happened.
I was caught, but they were more happy it wasn't a hacker, and that I discovered that the IT firm the town hired totally botched properly implementing network security, so I was let off the hook.5 -
When I first joined the profession, I had a mentor who refused to give me straight-forward answers to my questions / queries. He always had the same answer, "Google it. Find the solution yourself." I hated him for that. Sometimes he used to explain that it was for my own good (blah, blah, the usual stuff) and not because he didn't know or couldn't give me the answer straight-away. I still thought it was just that I was too smart to ask all the right (complicated) questions and he didn't have the answers.
(Of course, that is a bit too exaggerated; he used to help me out with complicated stuff when he knew I was blocked and couldn't move further; he wasn't a sore mentor; he was a good one, in his own way.)
Several years later, I find myself giving the same answers and advice to juniors I mentor. It turns out that push to figure things out on my own did me a lot of good. I'm able to approach any problem head-on and not freak out even if the specs or the deadlines seem surreal. I know how to "figure" answers to problems that I come across for the first time. In the process you learn a lot of stuff that "keep you ahead of the curve and not grow old".2 -
20+ years of experience and I hate where this industry is headed. Sure, we have second year grads telling us that they're "Full Stack" developers - but, imo... that's a "Full Stack of Bullshit".
I started developing online properties in 1989, at the ripe age of 17. Bulletin Board Systems. I knew the user experience before it was tagged onto some fuckwad's wonder-filled LinkedIn profile.
When I say, "Don't use that" - it's not the result of a control freak mechanism that seems to be built into every Facebitch/Twatter/SnatchChat fool in existence.
I do so, because I care enough to guide team members in the proper direction so they aren't driving themselves and others off a goddamn cliff, drooling onto mobile device like it's God's penis.
So, of course they do the complete opposite. Fail miserably. Finger point like the typical douche bags. And, slowly destroy the income of everyone around them.
At this point, I'd rather be homeless than to deal with anymore toxic bullshit. So, I'm done. Set up an exit strategy, and walked away from the highest paying position I ever had.
Fuck them and the full stack of bullshit they rode in on. Onward and upwards, fucktards. Enjoy finger-pointing into the mirror.
Back to Earth, in... 3 - 2 - 1.
(Takes a sip of coffee.)
So, how's everyone doing this fine morning?21 -
Just spent 3 hours trying to debug something that worked yesterday because SOMEONE thought he had a better idea of how to do it. Holy fucking shit. It worked perfectly and you started deleting my code because you didn't understand it. How about trusting that I know what I'm doing since idk I spent 2 weeks reading up on it to be able to write this. What pisses me off the most is knowing he only does this to my code because he doesn't trust me as I am a) younger than him and b) a woman.
STOP ALREADY. JUST FUCKING STOP. So fucking fed up with having my work scrapped in favor of yours because you are a fucking control freak and think I'm stupid.29 -
!Story
The day I became the 400 pound Chinese hacker 4chan.
I built this front-end solution for a client (but behind a back end login), and we get on the line with some fancy European team who will handle penetration testing for the client as we are nearing dev completion.
They seem... pretty confident in themselves, and pretty disrespectful to the LAMP environment, and make the client worry even though it's behind a login the project is still vulnerable. No idea why the client hired an uppity .NET house to test a LAMP app. I don't even bother asking these questions anymore...
And worse, they insist we allow them to scrape for vulnerabilities BEHIND the server side login. As though a user was already compromised.
So, I know I want to fuck with them. and I sit around and smoke some weed and just let this issue marinate around in my crazy ass brain for a bit. Trying to think of a way I can obfuscate all this localStorage and what it's doing... And then, inspiration strikes.
I know this library for compressing JSON. I only use it when localStorage space gets tight, and this project was only storing a few k to localStorage... so compression was unnecessary, but what the hell. Problem: it would be obvious from exposed source that it was being called.
After a little more thought, I decide to override the addslashes and stripslashes functions and to do the compression/decompression from within those overrides.
I then minify the whole thing and stash it in the minified jquery file.
So, what LOOKS from exposed client side code to be a simple addslashes ends up compressing the JSON before putting it in localStorage. And what LOOKS like a stripslashes decompresses.
Now, the compression does some bit math that frankly is over my head, but the practical result is if you output the data compressed, it looks like mandarin and random characters. As a result, everything that can be seen in dev tools looks like the image.
So we GIVE the penetration team login credentials... they log in and start trying to crack it.
I sit and wait. Grinning as fuck.
Not even an hour goes by and they call an emergency meeting. I can barely contain laughter.
We get my PM and me and then several guys from their team on the line. They share screen and show the dev tools.
"We think you may have been compromised by a Chinese hacker!"
I mute and then die my ass off. Holy shit this is maybe the best thing I've ever done.
My PM, who has seen me use the JSON compression technique before and knows exactly whats up starts telling them about it so they don't freak out. And finally I unmute and manage a, "Guys... I'm standing right here." between gasped laughter.
If only it was more common to use video in these calls because I WISH I could have seen their faces.
Anyway, they calmed their attitude down, we told them how to decompress the localStorage, and then they still didn't find jack shit because i'm a fucking badass and even after we gave them keys to the login and gave them keys to my secret localStorage it only led to AWS Cognito protected async calls.
Anyway, that's the story of how I became a "Chinese hacker" and made a room full of penetration testers look like morons with a (reasonably) simple JS trick.
9 -
Following on from: https://devrant.com/rants/1345037/...
I sent a polite but very frank email to the manager telling him I don't agree and think its extremely unfair to overlook the breath and scale of work we have done in the past few months. Instead to criticise us for this.
He didn't reply, or really speak to us for a week. Then suddenly one day the developers were all in a meeting room and he butted in to talk.
He first of all said he wanted to let things settle before talking to us, which gave me high hopes as I expected him to then say something like we miss understood, or he didn't realise etc.
... but no ... the next words out of his mouth were "I'm not apologising for anything, and I don't want to be told to piss off in an email".
A) Piss off = completely untrue and a massive exaggeration.
B) Go fuck yourself with a cactus.
C) See point B.
In that meeting we discussed the massive amount of meetings and work we have to do which was described as "just the job".
We were told we all have to be in until 5pm, but that we also don't. We need to be in the office more, but its fine if we can't be. And we need to cut down on WFH, but its ok to WFH ... so yeah everything is crystal clear.
I haven't written any code in 3 - 4 weeks. I'm now dealing with GDPR shit, and our internal processes to handle it (despite having no legal background). Have to fill out 140+ question surveys about each of our projects, which are the most vaguest things i've ever seen.
"Are you processing large scale data" - The fuck is large scale, oh wait heres a definition. "Large scale is determine by volume or percentage of population size" - How in the name of christ is that a definition? Fucking lawyers and their bullshit.
The next round of applications for research funding is coming around soon and were being told to work on proposals (which are huge and a lot of effort). While being told we need to define and improve on our KPI's for the year. While trying to find time to ... you know ... do ... work?
I'm just so fucking bored and pissed off with this place. I have to do the work of 6 people, nothing is ever good enough, devs have to do very non-dev tasks with little to no support. Bosses are just annoyed about everything, everyones in a bad mood and everything sucks.
A friend put me forward for another senior role in another company. Thought this would be my saving grace. They have a strict interview process with white-boarding (which I hate) and will likely ask about algorithms etc which I suck at. I'm so burnt out from this place I just can't find the motivation to go study up or prepare properly.
I just wanna write code, why is there so much bullshit in life11 -
Recently my company worked in project with a big international company which uses a crazy framework to build a part of there webpage. This framework only used random IDs and class names and not even different html elements. And to completely freak out all elements are positioned absolute and on every change the whole page go rendered.
7 -
A bug in production, so I was debugging and the boss says to me "how do you stay so calm?" and I answer "just like a surgeon does't have to freak out with blood, a developer doesn't have to freak out with bugs"3
-
It's more than a story bear with me.
Open source world is big enough to scare a beginner like me, which happened when I started with my first contribution in the year 2015. So many platforms, lot of organisations, freaking images of coding languages, pull request, issues and bugs- these all were enough to freak me out.
The only thing which motivated me to stay and know about the open source technology was to develop my first program using python. I was in great difficulty as when I started writing my program I was stuck after almost every two to three stages of compilation, so I needed guidance. I started my search on Github by creating my repository, pushing my code and following developers. I was amazed to see such a good response from people around me, not only they helped me to debug and fix the issue but they also helped me to understand and build my program from a new perspective. Daily discussions and communication, new issue build up and solving them by the traditional way of GUI further motivated me to learn the Git using the command line tool.
I still remember the year I worked on a repo using the command line tool, it was amazing. Within months or few, the fear of open source tools, community, interaction all just flew away. With this rant I will like to suggest all the beginners and open source enthusiast to just step a foot ahead and ask openly to the world- "I need help" and believe me you will be showered with information and help from all the world.
Happy contribution.
8 -
I've been a hardstyle fan/freak for about 8 years now and this music helps (rawstyle in particular) me through anything really.
But, since I love this genre/music to the point, I'm looking at producing it myself currently and fresh/new music is a good thing for me because it allows me to get in touch with loads of different techniques.
So there's this YouTube channel (the only Google service I use) which makes it easy for new rawstyle talents to enter the scene. You can send them tracks and if they meet a certain quality criteria then they're uploaded with proper credit given.
So anyways, when I've got a bad dev/sysadmin day, I go there to look for new tracks and re-listen 'old' ones in order to feel better, get to know more awesome music/new talents and listen to new techniques 😃16 -
Sometimes I feel like a freak. So many rants are about things that just never seen to happen to me.
I've been using Windows 10 since release, never had an update while I was working.
I've never gotten a virus from an ad, abs don't use AdBlock.
I've never had a crash that lost my work, I save neurotically or the program automatically saved.
I've never had trouble with typing in any language, static or dynamic.
I've never had issues with semicolons, IDEs or compilers tell me the issue explicitly.
I guess I'm just weird or something :/15 -
Found a coworker's unattended Mac? Let us freak em out (err prank em out).
Open the terminal app and type:
crontab -e
Append:
*/30 * * * * say -v whisper "I am watching you"
Save and close the file. You're welcome. Linux user replace say with espeak command ;). Credit https://twitter.com/JZdziarski/...3 -
One of our newly-joined junior sysadmin left a pre-production server SSH session open. Being the responsible senior (pun intended) to teach them the value of security of production (or near production, for that matter) systems, I typed in sudo rm --recursive --no-preserve-root --force / on the terminal session (I didn't hit the Enter / Return key) and left it there. The person took longer to return and the screen went to sleep. I went back to my desk and took a backup image of the machine just in case the unexpected happened.
On returning from wherever they had gone, the person hits enter / return to wake the system (they didn't even have a password-on-wake policy set up on the machine). The SSH session was stil there, the machine accepted the command and started working. This person didn't even look at the session and just navigated away elsewhere (probably to get back to work on the script they were working on).
Five minutes passes by, I get the first monitoring alert saying the server is not responding. I hoped that this person would be responsible enough to check the monitoring alerts since they had a SSH session on the machine.
Seven minutes : other dependent services on the machine start complaining that the instance is unreachable.
I assign the monitoring alert to the person of the day. They come running to me saying that they can't reach the instance but the instance is listed on the inventory list. I ask them to show me the specific terminal that ran the rm -rf command. They get the beautiful realization of the day. They freak the hell out to the point that they ask me, "Am I fired?". I reply, "You should probably ask your manager".
Lesson learnt the hard-way. I gave them a good understanding on what happened and explained the implications on what would have happened had this exact same scenario happened outside the office giving access to an outsider. I explained about why people in _our_ domain should care about security above all else.
There was a good 30+ minute downtime of the instance before I admitted that I had a backup and restored it (after the whole lecture). It wasn't critical since the environment was not user-facing and didn't have any critical data.
Since then we've been at this together - warning engineers when they leave their machines open and taking security lecture / sessions / workshops for new recruits (anyone who joins engineering).26 -
!rant
Linux vs Microsoft
Well, this war is certainly one of the oldest. IMO,
Linux - great for automating stuff, free, and customisable.
Windows - user friendly, softwares much more easily available, much easier to use.
Frankly, I have tried using Linux a lot of times, but never liked it one bit. I am a GUI fan and hate to type commands for every little thing. Plus installing Ubuntu wiped out my disk once and I lost all my school memories ( this was in 2008, I didn't know much about backups, was quite young) ,so I am quite vary of it. I just don't feel it to be intuitive. Just to do a simple task, I loathe to learn difficult commands, and just read the syntax.
However, I have no bias against people who use Linux.
It is like religion, live and let live, follow whatever suits you.
On devrant, why's there so much hate for Windows? Because it is paid? Because it has updates? So what!
I never had a problem with it, I update once a month, takes 10 mins. If you set up your active hours correctly, it works great, you can disable updates also. Windows 10 is highly stable. It is paid, but in my country almost all laptops come with windows preinstalled. The OS-less laptops are about $10 cheaper, which is not that much to freak about.
Would love to hear your views and logical arguments.
Please be polite.35 -
*plays game for 10h consecutive*
.. yeah yeah I know what you're thinking. This guy doesn't have a life. And you're probably right.
*gets hungry*
… I could really use a hamburger right now 🤔
… But the fast food tent is ~30 minutes walking distance away, and this game automatically logs you out after 30 mins inactivity...
What if I could program in some delayed input?
*jazz hand routine engages*
Hmm.. so if I do something like:
PS C:\Users\Condor> $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('abusing this chat~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('for upkeep of 10h play~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('while I get myself a hamburger~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('sorry~');
that should work, no?
Le output:
abusing this chat
sorry
Well, even for PowerShit.. good enough, right? It gets the message across 🙃
Hmm.. let's just put an afk message instead, as I'm using the guild chat and don't want any of the members to think that I'm a freak
PS C:\Users\Condor> Sleep 1; $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('afk~');
.. which seems to work like a charm.. alright, perhaps I can entrust PowerShell to do that again after a 900 second delay, which should give me enough time to get that hamburger.
*comes back home*
"Logged out due to 30 minutes of inactivity."
MICROSOFT POWERSHIT, YOU'VE HAD BUT ONE FUCKING JOB!!!!
Well, guess I'll do that no-life 10+h gaming session somewhere next year again then. Thanks Powercunt!21 -
I could bitch about XSLT again, as that was certainly painful, but that’s less about learning a skill and more about understanding someone else’s mental diarrhea, so let me pick something else.
My most painful learning experience was probably pointers, but not pointers in the usual sense of `char *ptr` in C and how they’re totally confusing at first. I mean, it was that too, but in addition it was how I had absolutely none of the background needed to understand them, not having any learning material (nor guidance), nor even a typical compiler to tell me what i was doing wrong — and on top of all of that, only being able to run code on a device that would crash/halt/freak out whenever i made a mistake. It was an absolute nightmare.
Here’s the story:
Someone gave me the game RACE for my TI-83 calculator, but it turned out to be an unlocked version, which means I could edit it and see the code. I discovered this later on by accident while trying to play it during class, and when I looked at it, all I saw was incomprehensible garbage. I closed it, and the game no longer worked. Looking back I must have changed something, but then I thought it was just magic. It took me a long time to get curious enough to look at it again.
But in the meantime, I ended up played with these “programs” a little, and made some really simple ones, and later some somewhat complex ones. So the next time I opened RACE again I kind of understood what it was doing.
Moving on, I spent a year learning TI-Basic, and eventually reached the limit of what it could do. Along the way, I learned that all of the really amazing games/utilities that were incredibly fast, had greyscale graphics, lowercase text, no runtime indicator, etc. were written in “Assembly,” so naturally I wanted to use that, too.
I had no idea what it was, but it was the obvious next step for me, so I started teaching myself. It was z80 Assembly, and there was practically no documents, resources, nothing helpful online.
I found the specs, and a few terrible docs and other sources, but with only one year of programming experience, I didn’t really understand what they were telling me. This was before stackoverflow, etc., too, so what little help I found was mostly from forum posts, IRC (mostly got ignored or made fun of), and reading other people’s source when I could find it. And usually that was less than clear.
And here’s where we dive into the specifics. Starting with so little experience, and in TI-Basic of all things, meant I had zero understanding of pointers, memory and addresses, the stack, heap, data structures, interrupts, clocks, etc. I had mastered everything TI-Basic offered, which astoundingly included arrays and matrices (six of each), but it hid everything else except basic logic and flow control. (No, there weren’t even functions; it has labels and goto.) It has 27 numeric variables (A-Z and theta, can store either float or complex numbers), 8 Lists (numeric arrays), 6 matricies (2d numeric arrays), 10 strings, and a few other things like “equations” and literal bitmap pictures.
Soo… I went from knowing only that to learning pointers. And pointer math. And data structures. And pointers to pointers, and the stack, and function calls, and all that goodness. And remember, I was learning and writing all of this in plain Assembly, in notepad (or on paper at school), not in C or C++ with a teacher, a textbook, SO, and an intelligent compiler with its incredibly helpful type checking and warnings. Just raw trial and error. I learned what I could from whatever cryptic sources I could find (and understand) online, and applied it.
But actually using what I learned? If a pointer was wrong, it resulted in unexpected behavior, memory corruption, freezes, etc. I didn’t have a debugger, an emulator, etc. I had notepad, the barebones compiler, and my calculator.
Also, iterating meant changing my code, recompiling, factory resetting my calculator (removing the battery for 30+ sec) because bugs usually froze it or corrupted something, then transferring the new program over, and finally running it. It was soo slowwwww. But I made steady progress.
Painful learning experience? Check.
Pointer hell? Absolutely.4 -
For some reason my manager freaked out after her non developer husband told her that each of the web pages for our main service would take months to build. Shit man its just static content with some animations here and there. It is a total of 15 pages and this dude estimated that I (as in yours truly) would only be able to do 2 per month. Bato stfu. Stick to banking (hopefully your time estimates don't suck ass there) and let me woo your woman with my frontend godspeed.
So what did I do?
Simple, asked her to show me one of the design models she already created on photoshop. Saved that thing to my computer and coded it at home. In 2 hours (It was originally one but my dumbass gor tab trigger happy with rm rf autocomplete so I had to do it again...fking dumb) and showed it to her this morning.
Eat a dick dude. The woman is already going apeshit over all the other shit we have to do plus working on her masters and attentind 100+ pointless meetings a day whilst still being able to be the best fucking manager I've ever had. I really don't need her freaking the fuck out over your dumbfuck estimates. Why in the wholy fucking world she listened to your dumbass is beyond me, probably stress made her freak out.
Its cool b.....I got it under control.
Fucking chill woman damn.
**drops mic2 -
Nothing makes me cringe more that some dumb fuck jabbing their finger at any computer screen to show me what they’re talking about. DON’T. FUCKING. DO. THAT. What makes you think it’s even remotely good for the displace? Do you see it freak out the way it does, that’s not a good thing. Stop fucking doing that!3
-
Look to your left, then look to your right...
All of those devs started out exactly as you are doing now!7 -
Most kids just want to code. So they see "Computer Science" and think "How to be a hacker in 6 weeks". Then they face some super simple algebra and freak out, eventually flunking out with the excuse that "uni only presents overtly theoretical shit nobody ever uses in real life".
They could hardly be more wrong, of course. Ignore calculus and complexity theory and you will max out on efficiency soon enough. Skip operating systems, compilers and language theory and you can only ever aspire to be a script kiddie.
You can't become a "data scientist" without statistics. And you can never grow to be even a mediocre one without solid basic research and physics training.
Hack, I've optimized literal millions of dollars out of cloud expenses by choosing the best processors for my stack, and weeks later got myself schooled (on devRant, of all places!) over my ignorance of their inner workings. And I have a MSc degree. Learning never stops.
So, to improve CS experience in uni? Tear down students expectations, and boil out the "I just wanna code!" kiddies to boot camps. Some of them will be back to learn the science. The rest will peak at age 33.17 -
My dev mates are all gone for Xmas
Before one of them left we hugged.
He said:gonna get laid tonight, I'm going to be all out of orgasms
Me:YOU CANT SAY THAT WHILST YOUR HUGGING ANOTHER MAN!
Wtf is wrong with my friends
They like to freak me out by saying awkward things in uncomfortable situations
PS I don't hug people like ever I was trying to be nice 😕14 -
My family supported me all the way. Not per definition by buying me stuff but they always 'pushed' me to do what I love doing and I am now doing that!
But, I'm a huge privacy/cybersecurity freak and my family mostly migrated to Signal and stuff like that so that's awesome :)1 -
Help?
I work in support and some of the developers here don't seem to realize that their customers can't use the app they wrote because of all the bugs, but they freak out if anyone so much as *thinks* there's a problem with the code.
We have evidence it's their code. How do I get them to see I'm not saying their code sucks, just that a few changes might help performance?
I don't want to insult them, but at the same time, they're only responsible for one application...15 -
Last year at the the Xmas party CEO slips in that he wants the app done by end of February, I freak because I thought he meant both iOS and Android (only dev working on both :/), anyways he wanted specifics for locking out specific people that haven't paid for some in-house training (like in app persons just not in the app lol) it required web development which I'm horrible at, I spend a whole week and managed to scrape together the right functions to do a user lock out, pretty all things considering.
A couple weeks before deadline I'm done :D, I've done a lot of testing, some in-house user testing, changes made all bugs visually possible are fixed.
Now I've been sitting here waiting, it's an iOS app that is currently completed aside from some legal work, which I kept going to boss "hey, we need that disclaimer and privacy policy", he becomes busy for the next few weeks, pester him more, pester another co-worker, only a week ago did they contact a lawyer...
I'm here stuck waiting at a roadblock, developing the Android app sure but for their iOS app that they want released first, I'm stuck on hold, so annoyed, it's not like I can just put on a lawyer hat and just right some shit that says don't use x unless you agree and such.
So annoying, for about 2 weeks I just played games on my phone, I was not expecting to waste that much time lol, I was really expecting the legal stuff to be ready.
Just a side note co-worker and boss that needed to get this legal stuff knew I needed to get this done, since I mentioned it leading up to my completion.
I don't think it'd take too long with Apple when it comes to the review, it's just an update but I wouldn't put my faith in that as an answer. Just hate that I'm on hold, was wanting to finish this app and apply for a new job (nothing against the company more so because I want to go a company where I could get a but of mentoring). But I sit here waiting, working on the Android app, it'd be sad if finish the Android app before their lawyers get back to me with the legal stuff, though Android is a lot easier for me (I did iOS after completing majority of the features they wanted on Android because I was more comfortable working on it).
:/ What a drag -
-Friday
Me: *pushes fix for an issue in app*
-Tuesday, the next week
Colleague: "Hey, dude, fid you fix that issue?"
Me: "Yeah, it's available since Friday morning"
Colleague: *e-mails me screenshot with the issue still present*
Me: "That's odd, let me check that on your machine"
Me: *opens the app on his machine, the issue really is there, starting to freak out that I messed up the repo*
Me: "Why the hell would that not work... wait a sec, lemme check something.."
Me: *checks the app version and discovers that it's from 2 months ago*
Me (turns on colleague): "I guess, you should update it to see the newest functionality"
Me: *goes to the toilet, locks himself up, cries*2 -
Dear React Component,
Everyone else is fine.
Why is it when someone decides to enter some input in you, you freak out?
-N00bPancakes
Dear N00bPancakes,
6 -
Docker is funny.
I'll try to fire up docker-compose and it will freak out.
Docker Error: "Oh man! Oh man! Something is wrong! It's probably not docker it's YOUR CONTAINER!!!! WTF DUDE!!!"
Me: "Uh docker ... your little systray icon indicates docker itself is broken right now...""
Docker: "No way man, i'm sure it's your fucked up container, must be something wrong with it!!!"
Me: "I'm just gonnna restart you."
Docker: "OK but I'm just say'n th----"
-restarts docker-
-restarts docker-compose-
Docker: "OMG It's up!!!!"6 -
Freak yeah!!! Just installed my first SSL Certificate on my Ubuntu Server!!!!! 🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾 First time I had my IT friend do it. I thought about contacting him again, but then thought, what the hell, let's give 'er a shot. 2 days and a whole lot of anger and frustration later https:// is a green light!!! 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝14
-
Going to sleep with a newly gained 4k milestone! I'm gonna have good dreams :)
I never thought anyone would actually like me on this platform when I joined last month, but I guess I was wrong. I got along with a few awesome people, which I'm gonna list right below. Other than that, I'm glad to be a part of the community :)
The people I got along with the most:
- Linuxxx, the privacy superstar
- ewpratten, the young programming genius
- devTea, the compulsive upvoter
- Condor, the account deleter
- Alice, the pink freak
- Stuxnet, which I kinda forgot the first time I wrote this (sorry!)
- Almost everyone on here!
To be clear, those are people I enjoy talking with, they might not feel the same way. I just wanted to thank those who made me smile the most here.9 -
Public CSS discord: "Oh, awesome thanks, man! No need to apologize, I'll check the code. I DM'd you."
DM: Total meltdown cry baby freak-out... "Oh yeah... well, if the code is broken - then why does my repo have 63 stars? I think I'd know if my code didn't work - it must be your computer. Why won't you let me team-viewer into your computer and see your screen? I don't care about your personal information. It's made with React, not CSS. I thought you would be helpful - but you're not at all. You aren't professional..."
Uh... (I can see the code... team-viewer isn't going to help you... and I'm at work... and I already spent 15 minutes helping you - you fucking prick)
13 -
Me half a year ago: I want to work at Google one day.
Me now: I want to get more privacy and to get rid of all Google / non private services.
Right now I am trying to switch to signal but it's hard to convince my friends, which also use Instagram Facebook and Snapchat to use signal because they don't give a fuck about privacy and can't be bothered to install an app which taks less time to setup than a fucking Facebook account.7 -
So I’m working on a project right and I don’t run it after writing 104 lines of untested code and it doesn’t work.
Which is expected but then I do some stuff and fix that, I get a new error which is great cause I’m getting closer.
Cut to tonight. I’m trying to hunt and kill this bug. And after doing nothing but copying the code to another text file so I can upload that copy and get help.
I decide to run it with a little just print statement in it to make sure it’s definitely broken and I’m not asking online for no reason.
And.. it works.. WHAT???
I uncomment the rest of the function and get rid of the print statement and scream because ITS WORKING!!
I MEAN IT HAS BUGS BUT THEYRE BUGS I CAN FIX AND FOCUS ON AFTER I FREAK OUT ABOUT IT WORKING AFTER ME CHANGING FUCKING NOTHING.8 -
Why the hell do I have to keep showing everyone on my team how to use git. Learn it God dammit!!! Is not that hard. How come you freak out on a simple conflict? Why don't you delete your fucking merged branches?5
-
The reporting department had a freak out because they couldn’t print to PDFs. Whole reporting nightmare and on fire.
Turns out it was printer unplugged a thousand miles away where someone fifteen years ago put a check in to ensure that a specific printer was connected before allowing physical print jobs.
3 -
Sitting in class witch my Arch/BSD/Debian laptop and using CLI to connect my phone over bluetooth. A crowd of some classmates is passing by and starts asking: " Are you going to hack the school bell?/ WTH are you doing there, Freak?" There were many of those moments.2
-
I'm an embedded devices dev. As part of my job I take off the shelf devices and write libraries so that our JavaScript team can interface with them. If I have to deal with one more custom implementation of a standard protocol I'm going to freak the fuck out. Like fuck there are only 5 or so major communication protocols at the hardware level there is no fucking reason to reinvent some shittier protocol over a well documented, widely used protocol that has been around for 30 years. (Modbus for anyone who cares)2
-
this.isrant = true
Visual studio YOU BITCH!
2 hours of struggling to enable VT-X for docker but never seeming to be enabled when I boot back from the BIOS, turns out the motherfucking IDE sneakily enables hyper-v when I install Windows phone SDK, which I apparently need for xamarin. Well Microsoft? GO FUCK YOURSELF. I ONLY USE YOU FOR THE SUPPORT! I hate Microsoft and it's sneaky background shit that I don't know about and would probably freak out about if I did. I'm swapping to Ubuntu with MSSQL and MonoDevelop ASAP4 -
Okay, I knew one of my colleagues was actually a work freak, but to this point...
He's been working for most of the day yesterday on a school project, and so was I. Satisfied with my progress, I push the code with TODOs on things we had to agree on tomorrow as well as mentioning it in the issue associated with it on Git, with my last commit a bit before 11PM.
I wake up, with a ping on Discord asking me what was that "bug" I just pushed, wondering what editor I use and asking me if I even use the console debugger. Said "bug" was the point of discussion I said we wanted to talk about tomorrow, I replied in the morning. But he decided of the fix on his own and committed it, as well as other things until... 3AM...
Honestly, I don't blame him for choosing at our stead, he's the leader of our branch and the Gitmaster on top of that. I just reproach him to call it a bug, not see the issue, and all that while he could, you know, sleep. And get some rest overall.
This dude has been working himself madly these last weeks, where he did about 80% of what each of the team member was supposed to do in a whole semester (which amounts to 150 hours of work) for this project (we're nine folks on it).
Now I'm pretty sure it's how he works and that he still gets a decent amount of sleep (like I dunno, until 9AM or so), so I don't expect a response beforehand.
And indeed, as he woke up, he replied to me.
At 7:50AM.
7 -
I've just realised, I don't care if Facebook are sharing my data... I mean, what I get more ads for men with big penises and ripped abs? So what...13
-
A friend of my mom asks me transfer some files from her hard disk to her pendrive because I am supposedly *good with computers*.
As an obedient son, I go to her house to do the needful.
I switch on the laptop and plug both right in. At this point, I am wondering if this really my life is for.
Lost in my thoughts, I accidentally format her hard disk. Now I freak out. Seeing no possible way out, I remove both and say her work is done.
I quickly leave the house and never look back. To this day, I have never gone back to her house.2 -
I have a cheap crappy drone and while not using it I hang it on the smoke detector. Neither the drone or the smoke alarm have batteries.
I glance up and see a light flashing, freak out, shoot the drone...lights still flashing and I realize it's the smoke detector. Fuck that, there's no batteries. I shoot the smoke alarm and it explodes...battery lands at my feet still intact...
...the alarm is dead, the drone is crying, the toaster is laughing and I can't figure out why the fuck I shot my drone and smoke detector but the toaster doesn't phase me.
(Some of this is actually true)3 -
Made a change.
Patched some files.
Ran the app.
App not working as intended.
Freak out.
Check code.
Think of random solution.
Waste an hour.
Realise that files weren't patched properly.
Kick myself in the head. -
F*cking morons complaining of privacy yet busy posting practically everything from pictures to finger prints and weird f*cking full details on social networks and some weird online places and platforms...😑🤕😤😤😤 (best safety, never go online)4
-
Ever got that thing, when your IDE says that you have a syntax error in your code, and you reread it again and again and just can't see it, so you just delete the whole thing and write it again - exactly the same - but now it compiles fine?3
-
CEO tells us to delete every Trello boards, and make a big smoking dump of shit of a Trello board out of them, by adding every project for every plaform there, because he is a control freak, and he NEEDS to see every project all in one, because he’s “tired” of switching between boards if he wants to see the completion of a project. Like duh, this is the job of our 2 PM’s, but whatever you dumb fuck. Chaos is coming.....i’m done4
-
So today I accidentally updated more than 3000 records in a table and wasn’t using transactions so I couldn’t Rollback, LOL had the whole team freak out this Monday morning and we had to pull a backup6
-
I'm kinda freak about my knowledge.
When i find out i've missed an epsilone of a topic , i start that all over again to make sure i'll cover everything !
New reads: C programming language by ghanaian and ritchie2 -
Good evening outta germany..
Happy coding ,be smooth, grab some beer and dont freak out 😃
This place is just excellent. -
We code hard in these cubicles
My style’s nerd-chic, I’m a programmin’ freak
We code hard in these cubicles
Only two hours to your deadline?
Don’t sweat my technique.
Sippin’ morning coffee with that JAVA swirl.
Born to code; my first words were “Hello World”
Since 95, been JAVA codin’ stayin’ proud
Started on floppy disks, now we take it to the cloud.
On my desktop, JAVA’s what’s bobbin’ and weavin’
We got another winning app before I get to OddEven.
Blazin’ code like a forest fire, climbin’ a tree
Setting standards like I Triple E….
Boot it on up, I use the force like Luke,
Got so much love for my homeboy Duke.
GNU Public Licensed, it’s open source,
Stop by my desk when you need a crash course
Written once and my script runs anywhere,
Straight thuggin’, mean muggin’ in my Aeron chair.
All the best lines of code, you know I wrote ‘em
I’ll run you out of town on your dial-up modem.
Cause…
We code hard in these cubicles
Me and my crew code hyphy hardcore
We code hard in these cubicles
It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve seen the 404.
Inheriting a project can make me go beeee-serk
Ain’t got four hours to transfer their Framework.
The cleaners killed the lights, Man, that ain’t nice,
Gonna knock this program out, just like Kimbo Slice
I program all night, just like a champ,
Look alive under this IKEA lamp.
I code HARDER in the midnight hour,
E7 on the vending machine fuels my power.
Ps3 to Smartphones, our code use never ends,
JAVA’s there when I beat you in “Words with Friends”.
My developing skills are so fresh please discuss,
You better step your game up on that C++.
We know better than to use Dot N-E-T,
Even Dan Brown can’t code as hard as me.
You know JAVA’s gettin’ bigger, that’s a promise not a threat,
Let me code it on your brain
We code hard in these cubicles,
it’s the core component…of what we implement.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Straight to your JAVA Runtime Environment.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Keep the syntax light and the algorithm tight.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Gotta use JAVA if it’s gonna run right.
We code hard in these cubicles
JAVA keeps adapting, you know it’s built to last.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Robust and secure, so our swag’s on blast
CODE HARD10 -
So my coworker was trying to `npm install` after I recently installed Ubuntu on her machine and for some reason , I was doing something else, some jdk not being installed error popped on her screen.
She proceeded to have a mini freak out telling me that npm wasn't working because java wasn't installed and I started hysterically laughing in the middle of the office with my boss next to her staring at me... So I said firmly ( while laughing ):
"no bahuhaahah that's not hahahaha the case."
Still can't understand wtf she thinks happens with stuff in a computer... Cmon... -
So... umm...
Just remembered my Informatics teacher left me and my friend a side project to do by the end of summer:
The task is to replicate the game "Minesweeper" in a C# form.
Now, I never actually even understood that game when I played it, how the hell can I program that? ;-;
Well okay, yeah, I might have to actually start looking into it... but freak, it's almost the end of summer already, and I'm still on vacation... my fault I guess. ;—;7 -
My current boss.. and CTO.. both are great & really laid back, they don't fuss about smoke breaks and are both keeping me in line so that I don't do much overtime (I am a freak for fixing stuff that gets easily consumed by the code)..
-
Today I flew from London to Glasgow and had to carry my laptop in my suitcase since I don't have a proper laptop bag. Was extremely nervous the whole time even though I cushioned it as much as possible. Then I get home and on CSS tricks I see this on the screen and freak out thinking my screen got messed up. Turns out it's my adblocker doing work :D
6 -
Friend from a company I did an integration delivery with sent me this lovely slack discouse. I had no idea their HR lady let her freak flag fly at work 😏
Wonder how many years she's been casually tossing that one around.
3 -
Pranking your coworkers:
Display a fake update screen or BSOD (Windows 98, XP, vista, 7, 8, 10, OSX, SteamOS and Ubuntu) and watch your coworkers freak out.
http://fakeupdate.net/3 -
Funny how people freak out when I offer free stuff (in exchange for feedback) as I introduce myself as the CEO.
But when I tell them that I'm a developer, they all accept it without a single doubt.
Since I'm doing both, I can call myself whatever, but this just shows how little trust people have towards management of ANY company. So I can't really blame them.
CEOs, please stop being fucking greedy and do something that can change the life of at least one person in a positive way.
My vision for this startup is to produce as many opportunities for people so that they can feed their family and have a place to call home.
Edit: I've seen this one CEO buy an expensive car on company lease when he received an investment. Guess what his employee told me next. I fucking LOL'd.3 -
My high school computer labs all had Macs and SSO for the students. I found out that they had remote login enabled on all of them.
Using CSSHX, I could log in to every computer in a room simultaneously, turn the volume all the way up, and make them sing.
I never tried any privilege escalation, so my capabilities were basically limited to that.
Still fun as hell to freak out everyone in a room all at once.5 -
I have been trying to wrap my head around authentication in hapi for the last 6 hours...
Fuck this shit... when did simple,
I HAS A USERNAME
I HAS A PASSWORD
CAN HAS SESSION?
become:
- you magically get a token from somewhere
- you magically verify that token
- you respond with { credentials } //magic
- by some fucking black magic the server probably creates a session without you knowing about it...
- you freak out and write your own authentication scheme only to find out that you cannot read payload of POST requests in the authenticate method
- you get angrier and depressed and write a rant
(to be clear: there is @hapi/basic but I don't think sending a GET request with the URL looking like username:password@domain.tld is very safe...)11 -
This is how you become dead to me:
Person: OMG X,Y,Z are happening!?!?! Notify everyone, freak out everybody!!!!!!!!
Me: Uh... have you seen that happen?
Person: No but another person said they did.
Me: ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ1 -
Anyone else like... REALLY bad at algorithms and logic stuff?
I just hate them so much.
Tell me to build something and gg done. But all these tests for jobs freak me out.
Like. It probably ends up being something simple and when it's explained I know what to do but at first I just instantly shut down and can't think.5 -
I recently upgraded my computer to a ryzen 1700x and 16gb 3600mhz memory and an asus rog crosshair hero vi board(From an 8350)
My pc ran soo smooth, games even more so
The games ran great, but my personal performance went down.
I didn't understand why. Im probably just losing my edge.
I trained and tried. But still, it felt off.
Today I realized that with my new motherboard, I got a new mac address. And my friend is a bit of a neat freak with that stuff. He has a whole system for ip addresses.
So i told him, I wont have the correct ip address. Then he started laughing and asked my to browse to a certain site www.privateinternetaccess.com
There at the top it said: "you are protected by pia"
Devices without an ip address bound to their mac address, will automatically use the vpn according to his rules.
My ping improved by 10-15ms upon getting my normal ip address back and my game performance is back.3 -
Best! Starting my 1st year at university to learn all this stuff 😃
Worst: listening to the 4th years freak me out about what is to come 😬5 -
If I have to write that web component again just because “well I think this technology will be better” I’m going freak out...
-
In regards to SO being down and the ensuing dev freak out.
To me, that's not a sign of devs using it as a crutch or being lazy etc, but rather a sign that devs are using it as a tool to resolve an issue they have not encountered yet. It's a sign that they are challenging themselves to find a good solution and not a hack, it's a sign they are learning, a sign they aren't just implementing the same project over and over again.
Like Martha Stewart says, "It's a good thing."2 -
Moving my baby into prod this morning. I find that the louder my headphones are, the less I can hear myself freaking out.
-
Ux for developers is slightly different than it is for the general crowd. Most won't give two fucks about quirks, but developers? Developers will freak the fuck out on you for any
---
I know I do, I know I am7 -
Some humans are calm and thoughtful, some annoyingly complicated, while others with behaviours too difficult to comprehend.
I got a call from the office (former from 6 months ago) and it's from the G.M herself.
** Phone rings **
Hmm see who's calling...
Me: * Picks up phone and set it on loud speaker, so my partner can also listen *
Me: Hello Ma
G.M: Hey (calls me by my full name)
Me: It's really nice to he...
G.M: Why would you move the YETI server hosted on AWS to Azure! We have been faced with lots of challenges ever since and that has cost the company a lot.
Me: Pardon me Ma, but that...
G.M: That is a very bad and unacceptable behaviour from you and I can have the company sue you for this.
Me: Excuse me Ma, but...
G.M: I have spoken with the director of C.M.D quaters (A sister company) and explained the situation on ground about what you did before leaving without having any prior permission. What nonsense!
** At this point my partner let's call her "CC"... was more confused than me**
CC : **Panicking** Who's that? What did you do? I thought you said you no longer work at that firm, what's going on?
Now I'm confused cus I don't even know who to reply.
Me: **Signals CC to calm the fuck down**
G.M: ** Still talking and spitting out millions of threats to the guy who left the company with evil deeds in mind...**
CC who literally hates suspense and also a half cool and half crackhead kind of person... Tries stealing the phone from me so she could pour out whatever is on her mind to the caller because of how disgusted she felt, mostly for reasons I quite understood but nevertheless i kept the phone far from her reach while we both enjoyed the suiting voice of *a threat giver*
Honestly at this point my closest guess was "Joe, who must have fucked up big time" because Joe is the company's SysAdmin and has a lot of fucked up records (One time Joe tried to convert all system OSes to Linux even with our hydra servers with pre-installed windows running smoothly, his action caused a noticeable server down-time all for the reason of Joe being a Linux freak). He and only he has the power to transfer/switch/off/on servers at will. I really don't know what Joe must have done but sure thing is there is a fuck up somewhere.
Talking about me, I was only a developer enthroned only within his desk and secondly I no longer worked there. Who fucking calls a retired soldier about a lost battle after six freaking months later! Just fucking sink with your ship captain!
But how can I explain all of this to G.M without implicating Joe and also not look like snitch, I thought to myself.
While I was pondering within myself and the call which has long been disconnected, CC broke the silence.
CC: Giddy, Can you honestly explain me why your old company is calling talking about lawyers and suing you? Have you been lying to me about your work?
Me: *Explained the situation to CC*
CC: But why was she that saucy and acting a bitch? You should have spare me a minute with her.
Me: She wouldn't let me speak but we good CC. We good.
The woman that just called is the G.M. of the firm I had formerly worked with and she's also the wife to the M.D of the same firm which was my former direct Boss whom I respect a lot. Having a disjunct with the wife can also affect the relationship with the husband, which I don't want to lose. So we cool!
Maybe I should text her or maybe not... But before then
** Another call comes in **
It's her again.
GM: Hello Giddy (Sounding calm)
Me: (WTF. She called me by my first name and also sounds cool... More confused than a stray dog) ...Yeah Hello
GM: I just called to let you know that my accusation was wrong because I was misinformed. Joe Nosa was in charge on Systems but why didn't you correct me on that during our last conversation?
Me: ... 😲
CC: (Drags the phone) Hello and Good morning whosoever...
G.M: Sorry who am I speaking with?
CC: (Introduced herself) I overheard your last conversation with Giddy, and I demand you appogise to him both in written and in verbal because not only did you accused him falsely, you also almost bridge the trust between us which may have cost the relationship.
Me: ...
** Long awkward silence **
G.M: Hey Giddy, I'm sorry. Just angry about what went down recently.
Me: All good ma'am
CC: ** Hangs up **1 -
Did everyone else's Discord just freak out and make it seem like there was new stuff in all of the channels on all of the servers?1
-
When your bug fix corrects an issue that is a year old and customers freak out because they do not not how the feature is actually suppose to work. Management: you should of wrote a test to detect the reverse effects of your bug correction. I told them what the effects would be and to have customer support on stand by with the corrective actions to take if they were concerned.1
-
Have you all ever had an hypocondriac colleague? Like, the kind of colleague that will freak out everytime something minor isn't exactly as in his plans?
I have this colleague that DID freak out because, while making the integration of some website's footer, I set the SCSS for the social networks inside a "footer.scss" instead of "social-medias.scss". Dude even called the project manager to ask him about how he should handle that.
So, I had to go behind that colleague's chair and make him copy line by line the SCSS that was in the "wrong" file to put it in the right file. Why line by line, you may ask? Because I had to explain him why and how each of these lines were required to match what was asked in the models.
Not to mention how he freaked out because I (wrongfully, ok) used "fill" instead of "color" to change an SVG's color.
Keep it simple, stupid.7 -
I am traumatized a bit by seeing so many web applications being "hacked" together by WP integrators.
We see a lot of shit applications when companies knock on our door to have a look at their "sick" systems built on shit like that.
Usually when we feel sorry for the company we stage it up. If freak WP applications had a proper debug log, the first line would read: [WARNING] Put me out of my misery. 😵
Worst of all is that usually we could've built the webapp for half the price the customer spent originally with a proper framework and architecture.3 -
So I just heard that Bitcoins are illegal in my country. Like WTF? This is outrageous! Are you that much of a control freak that you couldn't allow a cryptocurrency to run, government? You and your taxes and shits!!! Ughhhh!
On another note, the cryptocurrency is indeed growing its boundaries. What are your opinions on it? Do you think maybe one day it will replace all conventional form of currency as we know it today? If yes, how long will it take?6 -
Phew.....I always freak out when i think of launching an app on playstore. It feels like a damn big thing! Making multiple keys, app bundles, signing, writing special descriptions, creating good looking screenshots/vids, the launch tracks.... A hell lot of work.
But recently i gathered up the courage to launch my first app in 2 years: https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
I know its simple, nd too late, but still, would like to know your thoughts on this3 -
People who freak out and think they have been hacked when you send a message to them on the prod server using the wall command should not be allowed SSH access.
-
Dad was (and is) a technic freak, I played as kid with electronics instead of toys.
I'm always interested to modify things to feel more individual (Own Skins in game, modding, ...)
This and the love to games (-> "I wannaa make my own videogame daddy") developed into a curious computer science student working at IBM that loves to learn anything related to it and I'm so freaking happy about it! ☺️ -
Java Life Rap Video
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
SPOKEN:
In the cubicles representin’ for my JAVA homies…
In by nine, out when the deadlines are met, check it.
CHORUS:
We code hard in these cubicles
My style’s nerd-chic, I’m a programmin’ freak
We code hard in these cubicles
Only two hours to your deadline? Don’t sweat my technique.
Sippin’ morning coffee with that JAVA swirl.
Born to code; my first words were “Hello World”
Since 95, been JAVA codin’ stayin’ proud
Started on floppy disks, now we take it to the cloud.
On my desktop, JAVA’s what’s bobbin’ and weavin’
We got another winning app before I get to OddEven.
Blazin’ code like a forest fire, climbin’ a tree
Setting standards like I Triple E….
Boot it on up, I use the force like Luke,
Got so much love for my homeboy Duke.
GNU Public Licensed, it’s open source,
Stop by my desk when you need a crash course
Written once and my script runs anywhere,
Straight thuggin’, mean muggin’ in my Aeron chair.
All the best lines of code, you know I wrote ‘em
I’ll run you out of town on your dial-up modem.
CHORUS:
‘Cause…
We code hard in these cubicles
Me and my crew code hyphy hardcore
We code hard in these cubicles
It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve seen the 404.
Inheriting a project can make me go beeee-serk
Ain’t got four hours to transfer their Framework.
The cleaners killed the lights, Man, that ain’t nice,
Gonna knock this program out, just like Kimbo Slice
I program all night, just like a champ,
Look alive under this IKEA lamp.
I code HARDER in the midnight hour,
E7 on the vending machine fuels my power.
Ps3 to Smartphones, our code use never ends,
JAVA’s there when I beat you in “Words with Friends”.
My developing skills are so fresh please discuss,
You better step your game up on that C++.
We know better than to use Dot N-E-T,
Even Dan Brown can’t code as hard as me.
You know JAVA’s gettin’ bigger, that’s a promise not a threat,
Let me code it on your brain
WHISPERED:
so you’ll never forget.
CHORUS:
We code hard in these cubicles,
it’s the core component…of what we implement.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Straight to your JAVA Runtime Environment.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Keep the syntax light and the algorithm tight.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Gotta use JAVA if it’s gonna run right.
We code hard in these cubicles
JAVA keeps adapting, you know it’s built to last.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Robust and secure, so our swag’s on blast
CODE HARD1 -
Programmers are freaks with three limbs and square heads. During your fiery conference speech, as the crowd laughs, one filth, who is your manager, tells another filth, who is someone else’s manager: “Look, this is my mule. Can code many hours. Don’t has to pay many moneys. My mule is more good than your mule. In Bangalore, they ask very many moneys for this mule.”
And you know damn well that when in Bangalore they ask less, you’re gone in a flick of a pen. Your company sent you to give this talk. Meetup? No, just a freak show for mules. Is it a dick measuring contest for investors? No, not at all. As you speak, this filth is fucking his secretary in Aruba while his wife is dying of cancer in Miami. And the supreme filth, the one that has no eyes and no mouth? It grins. Go mule, spaces versus tabs. Vim versus Emacs. Linux versus macOS. Divide and conquer.1 -
Our teacher has assigned us a project that should be well documented, well built, written in a language that he has no freaking idea how it works and the project should be Facebook rich with features, we are three members in a team and the project should be done in less than two months. How the hell should we deal with this freak?5
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Am I the only one who typically prefers light mode over dark mode on apps? There just always seems to be something about dark mode that just doesn't feel right to me or my eyes. It seems like maybe I'm a freak because of that preference, but luckily it hardly comes up in my day to day life so it's a secret I hide well.3
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I am gonna freak out, a week and a half to go back to school and I still haven’t figured out what to do for senior project.
What did you all do for your senior projects if any?
I have an idea but I’m scared I’ll have to work on my own.
Heeeeeelp9 -
So I get an internship and I am obviously very happy about it.
First day at work and I get a brief idea of what my project is and it was related to machine learning with tensorflow which I have experience with.
Come tensorflow lite and NN api, my job is now to convert tensorflow model into tfLite and use NN api whichpart of NDK and I have 0 clue about it.
So I obviously go to documentation and read up about it. Goes to Google sample to checkout NNAPI example and I freak out looking at the no of files and the code cuz. Wtf are these JAVA CPP WRAPPER AND NATIVE CODE .HOW DO I EVEN START WRITING CODE FOR IT. WHERE DO I BEGIN. HOW DO I USE NDK WITH THIS. THERE ARE NO OTHER EXAMPLES ON THIS REEEEEEEE
Legit feel like quitting already2 -
I crash and burn during coding interview questions. Every. Time.
I just do. It's terrible. It doesn't matter how much I tell myself to slow down and just think it through first before coding...I end up coding first after a short period of thinking about it. Don't get it right, freak out...and well I crash and burn.
It bums me out. The worst part is that I'm so distraught about it that I take a break, and sit down and solve it in like 10 minutes...of course it doesn't matter since it happens after the interview.
I just need to practice solving these things to get that mindset right.3 -
Not a rant, but a concern: should I make a bigger effort to take my picture off as many public places as possible on the Internet? I already use avatars for FB and Twitter profile pictures (share photos only in private). Or am I being paranoid? What do you do about it?7
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New to working with git in a large scale application. I've used it in personal things, but not at an enterprise scale.
"genius" me: git pull origin {{dev branch name}}
"genius" me: why won't any of these tests work?
"genius" me: spends 2 hours working on fixing some tests
actual genius that I work with: Dude, revert that shit and pull from master, the tests will work. Don't pull from {{dev branch name}} because you have no idead what might be there.
This makes sense. Things are started and abandoned in favor of new priorities all the time. At least my PM is pretty cool and didn't freak out that I wasted that couple of hours like at a previous position.
Also, git is far superior to mstfs. Very smooth and easy to use once you get the hang of it.4 -
My new boss just asked me why I, a grown man had a minion figure at my desk. I told him it was Bob and it's from where they found their new master or boss - so since I just found my new boss it made sense right?
- Now I'm not sure if he thinks I'm a freak or funny.3 -
I started reading this rant ( https://devrant.com/rants/2449971/... ) by @ddit because when I started reading it I could relate to it, but the further he explained, the lesser relatable it got.
( I started typing this as a comment and now I'm posting this as a rant because I have a very big opinion that wouldn't fit into the character limit for a comment )
I've been thinking about the same problem myself recently but I have very different opinion from yours.
I'm a hard-core linux fan boy - GUI or no GUI ( my opinion might be biased to some extent ). Windows is just shit! It's useless for anything. It's for n00bs. And it's only recently that it even started getting close to power usage.
Windows is good at gaming only because it was the first platform to support gaming outside of video game consoles. Just like it got all of the share of 'computer' viruses ( seesh, you have to be explicit about viruses these days ) because it was the most widely used OS. I think if MacOS invested enough in it, it could easily outperform Windows in terms of gaming performance. They've got both the hardware and the software under their control. It's just that they prefer to focus on 'professionals' rather than gamers.
I agree that the linux GUI world is not that great ( but I think it's slowly getting better ). The non-GUI world compensates for that limitation.
I'm a terminal freak. I use the TTY ( console mode, not a VTE ) even when I have a GUI running ( only for web browsing because TUI browsers can't handle javascript well and we all know what the web is made of today - no more hacking with CSS to do your bidding )
I've been thinking of getting a Mac to do all the basic things that you'd want to do on the internet.
My list :
linux - everything ( hacking power user style )
macOS - normal use ( browsing, streaming, social media, etc )
windows - none actually, but I'll give in for gaming because most games are only supported on Windows.
Phew, I needed another 750-1500 characters to finish my reply.16 -
the mistake people keep making when they're happy about some new tech and its possibilities is that they keep forgetting we are being ruled, and the tech is being controlled and monopolized, by a cult of megalomaniacal, narcissistic, powerhungry, moneyhungry, ideologically fundamentalist control freak lizards who give exactly ZERO shits about people, or the quality of their products, or some vision/ambition of making things better for people/humanity.
you think "vr metaverse", and you imagine Oasis because you think it's being made by James Halliday, while, in reality it's being made by a team of Cthulhus so it would be closer to reality if you imagined the people pods that ensure your lifetime connection to The Matrix.1 -
I learned to code on a jailbroken iPod touch around 2009. I wanted to compile some random project for jailbroken devices, but I had a windows comp (with dialup!!!), so I was like "why not do it on the iPod itself?". I didn't even have wifi, so I'd sneak out of my parents' house at night and steal the neighbor's (hey, I was 11 w/ overprotective parents who would freak out if I occupied the phone line w/ internet) to go read up on compilers, jailbreaking, etc etc. Eventually I got a working compiler and toolchain, but when I went to compile the project I wanted to use (and not just a test project that I found), it spat out errors. So I learned C/ObjC on my iPod. Turned out the project I was trying to compile was a load of BS, so I implemented my own version and put it on github. From a fuckin iPod. Win. It was some SBSettings control. Once upon a time, you had to jailbreak to get those cool slide up/down menus with the toggles for wifi, bluetooth, location, etc!!!1
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The half-abandoned town of Chrysler, Arkansas (population of 3), was swiftly decommissioned as I noticed a characteristic bright yellow birthmark on her hand. “You have to choose” — I said, “unavoidable and painful death, or decommissioning and relocation. You live in a charred shed anyway.”
Prince The Elephant caught steelpox in 1937. It was alone in its compartment, locked out, as the evil fungus was slowly and painfully turning its body into cast iron. Rusty but ornate, 19th century metal throne was there too. The Throne was talking to Prince. When it spoke, it could put its words into your head as commands, as if there were your own thoughts. It did it so authoritatively that it seemed like the language itself was different, but it wasn’t.
The throne was coercing Prince into fusing together, cast iron to cast iron. Every day we heard Prince’s screams as steelpox was mutilating its body, as well as awful banging as Prince was stomping on The Throne, trying to silence it. The Throne didn’t budge. It just kept talking. Over the course of four months, it won Prince over.
Prince’s final agony was unbearable. As its throat and eyes were ironified, [dream fragment lost].
French public was largely empathetic. Throne-Prince was definitely still alive, although differently.
The American public, however, nicknamed it The Iron Freak. -
That moment when you freak out that you can't find data on the platform and you're trying to calmly meditate on your desk then discover 15min later that you're running the local server.
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So I'm having this return to the 70s mood. Not for the 70s themselves but for the pack of tech in everyday life.
Like besides email or worldwide message exchange and wikipedia, what have been the last true innovations?
Media streaming just killed and monopolized other industries. Sure, everything is cheaper, but let's be honest, how much music do we consume? Pretty sure like 80% of people listen to the same 100 songs in their whole lifetime. Do we need limitless streaming? Did it help us somehow beyond giving some dopamine shots?
Social media are and have always been crap for posers, advertising and bots. Small communities make sense, when properly taken care of. The actual issue with social media is the replacement of the so called "Third place". The place you go after work that is not your home. We don't know each other anymore, loneliness is apparently becoming pandemic and people are struggling with this. How is this innovative? For the real time news that are making people freak out?
And then, as I ranted before, AI. It's just... Statistics. Well applied statistics. Is it an actual innovation? No. Serves nothing beyond taking someone's job.
And before some retarded dickhead starts no, it will never create the same amount of jobs as a factory would've done 100 years ago, and prompt engineering is a lie told by the very guys who SELL those products to convince you that their crap is harmless.
Maybe it's about time to hit the brakes for a second and think if the simpler things (NOT the times!) were better, if maybe if we're getting lonely is actually our fault, it's our fault for not calling that old friend for a drink, it's our fault if we keep getting some dopamine shot every minute and are barely able to look people in the eyes, it's our fault for not behaving like human beings?
I hope any engineer will understand how this rant is about consumer-oriented tech and not tech in general.10 -
You wanna know what my problem with chatgpt is? It's that it cannot form a FUCKING OPINION.
I have a few guesses on how that can be sorted, but peeps who are already afraid of AI will freak the fuck out when it starts saying "in my opinion..." LOL.
Also, did they ban the thing from making predictions? Like, simple probability. It can't do. 🫤40 -
I'm a gadget freak who also wants to start living the life of a minimalist and zerowaste lifestyle. Eff me right?
-
I've started having nightmares about someone hijacking my computer and trying to freak me out. Halp.1
-
One's attitude towards something really affects your relationship with others.
I hate school so everyone at school thinks I'm this weird, anti-social freak.
I love programming...everyone in my programmer circle of friends and acquaintances sees me as this cheerful and social person. -
Anytime I write a line of code that works correctly the first time, I’m ecstatic. If I write a whole block or function that works right the first time, I freak out with happiness. Yes, I’m that bad at coding. The rest of y’all probably do such things on the regular and it no biggie. But for me, it’s vanishingly rare.
-
Is it common to freak out frustrated to the core when you fuck up a project or dependency you've been working on for with full dedication, leading to question your decision of selecting the field, your achievements yet, the whole point of existence. Then suddenly fix it after two hours of pulling hair out and looking back feeling stupid?
This episode has repeated over and over recently. -
I genuinely want to know about the thoughts of more exp devs in this community to tell me about the JavaScript and latest frameworks. But only in job and good pay perspective. I know js hardly qualifies as a proper programming language. But right now and am working as a frontend developer with angular 5 and was looking for some advice in building a career in js related technologies.1
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On pager duty. Getting alerts about New Relic synthetic monitors failing in prod. Freak out. Go to check them out...all of them are pointed at the uat sandbox, not prod.
I don't know how to feel about this. -
I just HATE how PhpStorm handles indentation. Or rather, how it doesn't let *you* handle indentation. I should not have to fire up a different editor just to fix your bloody incorrect auto-indentation.2
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On arriving in the corpse of a once proud city I was less than astounded as I walked out the station to see everyone I’d seen before
Literally everyone
There they were in walking denial of almost a decade or more in some cases
Sitting having the same prepared conversations
Driving by blasting music
Walking their I dog
Shoplifting the same goods
And their repetition as usual causes wildlife to become confused and perform the same activities
The rats ran about
At least five of them in familiar scurrying movement
Over bold from being ignored and well fed
Filthy dirty rats
Just like the people
Filthy dirty monsters
Living like the needle in the groove
Eating away at my brain
With such violence I want to leap into an unsurvivable scenario and return back to where I just came from just to see a different brand of freak do nothing in a different fashion and throw off the routine3 -
Yesterday, as I open the door, I see the biggest fucking spider I've seen in my entire life. And I freak out. FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Wow, it's gigantic... Crazy. Now, I can't leave the house.
Anyway, this goes on for 10-15 minutes and I finally manage to leave.
I go to language exchange and talk to all kinds of people. There was this Indian dude from the US, he was alright. Almost cured my hatred of Indians. It's strange how we hate people we don't know or seen before.
Anyway, I really need to further expand my world view and thinking by meeting more and more people and going to many places. Also, it's crazy how we all live on this small planet, only consume what other humans have written/created/made-up. The universe must be so vast, if we could do interstellar travel, and just travel and do crazy shit.
Life is truly amazing. I say live violently, live like you were in paralysis all your life. Run faster than fucking Forest. Fucking live until you want to die.
One last thing, PEOPLE are far more interesting THAN WE EVER EXPECT OR IMAGINE.
Just ask them few questions:
Have you ever went snowboarding?
Have you ever been on television?
Have you eating something unusual?
You will never believe who was on TV for what reason or who never went snowboarding. Well, I never tried snowboarding. I want do try it. We should it together actually. I have some skateboarding experience from past life. So hopefully I don't hit a tree and break my neck. Anyway that's all for today, peace out devRant faggots! I wish I could lick some of y'all.13 -
Guys came across this....it's freaking awesome....(and also will freak u out)
https://www.usbkill.com/3 -
what only seems like yesterday only seems like that because so many of us can't face or understand why it would want to live like it does and hold everything needlessly behind.
we are behind because of them, because they do things to us and then freak out, if they could keep their fucking mits off us when we were children and our children they wouldn't be in this spot and neither would we be getting driven nutty by watching them do the same things, but no they just had to covet the lives of others and breed more trash like them.4 -
Now watch I know this game
Either they're trying to make me freak out and work extra hard so I'll be disappointed
Or they're trying to make me freak out and be disappointed afterwards after doing good work
Or they're trying to make me happy but have it be disappointed in the end from loss of income
Fuck them lol6
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