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Me: Can you make me some meatballs?
Engineer: No, what are you talking about?
Me: I thought you were a chef.
Engineer: I'm not a chef, what made you think that?
Me: I was looking at your code and I haven't seen that much spaghetti since Olive Garden ran the endless pasta special. I was just wanting some meatballs to go with it.5 -
"EMINEM!"
An intern just called me Eminem! This is hilarious. People have told me I talk fast in the past but this is the first time my talking has been considered as rapping😛31 -
Was in the barbers having my hair cut and the barber was talking about how hard drives are obsolete as everything is moving into the cloud! Blew his mind when I explained the cloud is just computers and hard drives!9
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So I was with my friends on the subway and we were talking about an assigment we have due this week with trees in Java. I got to say, the face on the old ladie next to us when we said "we must kill all the children left in the tree" was just epic! She must thought we were talking about beating some little kids or something... 😅3
-
Talking with a dev friend:
- I want to create a program. Want to help me?
- Sure, any ideas?
- Yeah, I'd like to create a paint software using Java
- Cool
After 3 mins:
- Nah I just realized it'd take too long and no one would use it. Wanna play Rainbow Six tho?
- Okay
After playing for 15 mins:
- Holy shit! This game is so buggy. I could make it better
After 3 mins:
- Nah I just realized it'd take too long and no one would use it. Wanna create a paint software using Java?14 -
Talking to girlfriend:
Me: “Hey could you send me the google maps location of the place?”
Girlfriend: “Sure.”
*Receives a link that only says http://maps.google.com or some shit, no query params or anything*
Me: “Hun, there’s nothing on that link.”
Girlfriend: “There is, just click on it!”14 -
Heard this from a young lady today in the train while she was talking on phone:
"Software guys has the easiest job of all. All they do is sit in front of the computer and does stuff. That doesn't challenge you does it? No offence, I mean I'm not trying to offend anybody blah blah blah...."
Ummm Sorry lady I think you just offended thousands of people although you tried your best not to offend them.30 -
Overheard this guy talking to his friends about Python.
Guy: "Have you seen Python?? You basically just talk to the computer. There's no variables. You just go 'a = 2' and you can print 'a' and it'll give you 2! And there's no imports or anything!"15 -
"A Google security researcher withdrew from the Black Hat security conference and asked the community to stop using the 'black hat' term."
What the heck? Are we just going to ban the colors white and black in every context? Its clearly not talking about race, its talking about morals... Which people like this "google security researcher" obviously know nothing about...
This is all so stupid... luckily the community disagrees with the stance but then again, afaik, we all also disagreed with removing master/slave and it still happened so make of that what you will...
https://zdnet.com/article/...38 -
I came from a village, we have animals (like a farm), pigs, chicken, sometimes duck and goose. One day I had to work from home, bc had to come back to parents house. Our daily skype meeting was like this:
* discussing very important IT stuff *
* grandma rushes into my room *
me: sorry, but i have a meeting
grandma: i just wan...
me: but i cannot right no...
grandma: just wanted to know if...
me: grandma, I cannot right now, we have a skyp... im talking with colleagues, on the computer
grandma: * quiet voice * okay, i dont want to interrupt, I just want to know - Did you ordered the ducks?
* what I hear in headphones: collegues and boss LOLd sooo hard *
me: ffs, what ducks?
grandma: did your father not give you the guys number?
me: * starting to sweat * what guy? no he didnt, i have no idea what youre talking about
grandma: * disappointed * then who gonna order them...?
me: ...
grandma: * standing next to me, she hears the laughter * whats that?
since then, if im working from home every skype meeting starts with "Tommy, is your grandma there? HAHA!"7 -
A girl I used to have a crush on suddenly contacted after 2 years because she still thinks of me as one of her "best friends", and was sorry that she "hurt" me. After a few minutes talking, I knew she just wanted to get her new website done... Go to hell you fucking bitch20
-
Just got asked "How much experience do you have with the current JavaScript standards? I'm talking ES6 and ES7" in an interview with what I assumed were technical people.
I chuckled and said "I'm comfortable with ES8" as a joke but everyone just nodded and moved on..7 -
I just walked passed 2 technologically impaired ladies in my office (the kind who think google is on their actual computer) having an avid discussion about how "You can find Ajax everywhere on so many websites!".
I was super impressed until I realised they were talking about buying dish soap :/
12 -
interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?
me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
interviewer:😐....9 -
Two mobile devs were talking for 10 minutes in this zoom meeting whether "the component on the bottom should be hidden, or made sticky".
I just could not contain my laughter any longer when they showed an animated mockup comparison, and the product manager yelled excitedly: "Oh yeah, I love the one where it's very visible and sticky! But could you make it bigger for me?"
Sorry HR. I will never become a grown up boy.5 -
So I've mentioned that I work in a lingerie store. I'm not ashamed of it, as I make good enough money for a 19 year old living at home and it allows me to spend my free time learning dev technologies and practices while I try to decide on a career. Not to mention I have more bras and panties then I'll ever need, so there's that...
But sometimes when I sit here watching my customers, talking to them, measuring them for bras... I just want to set the store on fire. I never would, of course. I generally like helping these women and talking g to people. Yet sometimes I feel like I am wasting away. Like a little part of my soul dies when I sell some things to some girl while I have a Linux distro download at home waiting for me. Ugh.
Anyway, this is just some pointless venting from me. As you were.40 -
I am so bad at Smalltalk.. really, I feel like an idiot every time, and every time I end up in silence. Just talk to me something it-related, I can't stop talking. Does this happens to you too?13
-
@dfox I just want to say thank you !
Most of my friends are not devs at all. Thanks to you, I can share my adventures to people that actually understand what I'm talking about.
This is priceless.9 -
These fresh new college grads...calling themselves Full Stack Developers...
Ask them to consume a web service and I get a blank look...ask them to create a REST service and they are like WTF are you talking...
Has it come to the point that people just keep throwing around terms without understanding the inherent philosophy or idea behind them or is it like it's just to show that they are the "COOL" kids...with no actual idea of what the fuck they are doing ???10 -
Nose picking manager.
I mean this fucker picks his nose even when he’s talking face to face,
And am not talking about just cleaning it,am talking about putting the finger in all the way and probably trying to dial a number...6 -
Sometimes we say the customers they have to clear their browser cache but actually we are fixing the bugs they just found while talking with them on the phone.5
-
Reading programmer stuff on reddit:
"C# onlY woRkZ on MicRoSoft aNd m0n0 suCks"
Someone else:
"Dude, .net core has been out for a while what are you talking about?"
Them:
"OMg I diDNt Kn0W thaT!!"
Really guys?? Its been out forfuckingEver....
this is the thing. People talk shit, spread misinformation, and just looo amazingly ignorant without trying to figure shit out properly first.15 -
Me: "Ugh. Soo insensitive.." *angry muttering*
Curious cousin: "Whom? What? Why?"
Me: "My stupid Mac is not case sensitive so I have to mount a Unix partition and reference it from somewhere else. Why wouldn't they just make a case sensitive filesystem like a proper Unix based OS?"
Clearly uninterested cousin: "seriously?! You called your laptop insensitive? I thought you were talking about a guy" ..
Filthy casuals.6 -
3 fucking years already that I introduced fucking git in this company and people still fail to grasp the fucking basics... Wtf?
If you push a fucking change wait for the fucking message ... If a fucking fail message appears telling you to pull before pushing to remote, just don't ignore it... Wtf... I can tell it is the case just by looking at the message template, I don't even need to read the motherfucker...
And its not that they are stupid, those are smart motherfuckers we are talking about...24 -
I just had the most bizarre experience of my life. I handed in my resignation letter today. About an hour later, the CEO comes and collects me, takes me into his office, and rants about me leaving and other random not even tangentially related bullshit. Accusing me of not believing in the company and not talking to him. I have no idea if I'm fired.11
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I'm talking with this teenager that believes himself an engineer because he built a PC.
He is vehement in telling me that Linux came out in 2007 and it was Valve who developed it for Steam!
They he Googled it to prove me wrong and then... never spoke to me again 😂
I'm an Arch user dude! That's like, just one level under Linus Torvalds!13 -
Does anyone else have this? I always try to adjust the way I say things to non-hostile/aggressive (talking about things I have very specific opinions on) because I'm somehow afraid of starting a heated argument. On here, at work, everywhere.
Going to try to just speak my mind, even if that would get me into more fights etc 😅11 -
Yesterday I installed windows on the laptop of my parents. I thought no biggie I'm just going to do something else while it installs. AND THEN IT STARTS TALKING. WTF!!!
Also it said I can turn the voice of BUT THE FUCKING BUTTON DIDN'T WORK.
I hate windows.8 -
Does anyone know if there's a Bob Ross of development?
I feel like I just need to hear someone coding or talking best practices in a chilled out relaxing way to help me through the day.16 -
I want to vomit everytime rich people in upper management says stupid shit like "working for money in this company is a sin. Work for higher reason"
Hello, if only I get paid as much as you earn just by talking random nonsense in every meeting, I would be glad sharing the same shit quote like that to other employees in the company.18 -
Just put my job on the line today and went to my boss's, boss's, boss's boss to raise concerns and protect my team from terrible management. He apologized to me and has scheduled a meeting to talk to the team to let them know they are valued. Sounds like middle management is going to get a talking to. Fingers crossed.12
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Most... Awkward... Video call... Ever!
Ended about 7 minutes ago. This one guy... Seriously! I mean... 🤷♂️ Everyone thought he's just uncomfortably open but when he finally got out of the shower he panicked, screamed like a girl, fell down and covered his camera asking: "Guys, when you were talking just now... Was there anything... Like... *Weird* on my stream?"10 -
Ok yeahhh it’s not me.
Just got told I didn’t pass an interview that lasted 15 minutes with him talking about the company and no questions for me.
My interviewers lately have just been unfortunate2 -
Our PM is on vacation. And our CTO/CEO takes control of the PM role.
So today he decided it was time to just start a customer change request. Regardless of the customer not having approved the actual solution and estimate.
He just said that he did not want to waste any more time talking to the customer. Now they are gonna get what ever he thinks they want.
I predict this to backfire in a fabulous way. What could possible go wrong🤔4 -
Some 40 years old guy on the bus talking with his younger colleague: "If you learn Java, you know Javascript. Javascript is just more compact Java."18
-
Request from a senior backend dev in a previous company:
Talking to the team thats responsible for the auth API's is such a pain. For this new API can we just not add any auth to it? Its only going to return details about who the email address belongs too. Like name, address, date of birth, car registration etc. No one will care about that, and it will be easier for mobile to integrate right?11 -
Why write any specs anymore? The juniors don't read them, nor do the product managers. I'm just talking to myself at this point.
So, I waste time writing these nice detailed tickets, then when I go to review the pull request, the whole pile of horseshit is half done, and when I ask the product managers for resolutions, they don't have a clue either.
So just give me the whole fucking app, I'll do the whole damn thing myself. See you on Mars in 2025 while you and your pleb asses serve me fries and burgers.
1 -
When project manager is talking about things that I have no idea but I just keep saying "Yes, I can do it"
1 -
Dev from MIT argued about every. Single. Thing. I said. I'm not talking language or cultural or political barrier, I'm talking about just a naturally confrontational person. Maybe it was just his nerves (people do weird shit when they are nervous), but damn if i didnt want to throw him out after "agreeing to disagree" for the 4th time in 10 minutes.7
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Since everyone seems to be talking about getting places late, here's my not-so-significant story about my most recent interview.
So I was told that GPS probably wouldn't work. But the instructions that I got were not specific enough to guide me - something I learned only once I arrived in the general area that I was supposed to be in.
Ended up going one street too far and talking to the wrong front desk. They kindly gave me instructions to get to my destination.
These instructions were also wrong. They left out one step and viola, I'm at the gate of the sheriff dog training facility.
Turn 'er around and finally get on the correct road. My 20 minutes early turned into 10 minutes late, just like that.
They were understanding and I got the job.5 -
**Overheard new intern struggling with git talking to lead developer
Intern: "I am having trouble with the git repo on my local machine, can you take a look?"
*** Looks at code for three seconds
Lead developer: "Yeah, I suggest you just delete and reclone the repo."7 -
Just had le first sollicitation/interview.
Went pretty good! Nice guy, very relaxed talking/environment aaand they use Linux internally so no windows for me (if I get the job)!
Although the fact that I don't plan on staying longer than a year (maybe I was too honest) wasn't a good thing to say, it was a good interview :)18 -
Me: Hey Steve why are you working at this workstation today?
Steve: Cause I broke my computer and the one next to my computer, and this one is taking so long to sign in.
Me: It's probably just taking long because it's talking to the other two to find out if it should log you in.
Steve: Oh dear, can it still talk to the one I turned off?1 -
My bro and I are going home from a concert and talking.
Bro: Man, my life's made out of problems you can't just solve by definition.
Me: You didn't tell me you started working with java.
Later I realised he was talking about problems with his gf.4 -
Wk92 reminds me of the time when our professor spent 45 minutes talking about the difference between absolute and relative URLs.
45 FUCKING MINUTES!!
I was about to just pack up in and leave mid-class because I couldn't take it anymore. But he noticed, looked at me, then continued talking with the most annoying smug smile on his face.
He knew that if I got another warning, he could get me almost kicked out.
I just sat in the back, headphones in, slowly dying.
And he just smiled...8 -
I hate open space offices for following reasons
- bright environment (I cannot turn off the light just for my own)
- noises (talking, discussions, chewing)
- requests and questions
- people
But I still cannot afford to be in my own office room yet.
Now I have to wear a cap inside the office like a mad-hatter and plug my ears with earphones even without playing any music.11 -
Was talking to a woman who recently found her lost phone.
After talking about apps which track your phone I asked her if she had an iPhone or an Android.
Her response: "I've just got a Samsung eh"7 -
If you're sick, just type "I'm feeling sick today"
Don't give a full paragraph of all the drugs you're talking and all your symptoms. That's just cringe.5 -
The girl I'm talking to right now (not officially dating), I met because I knew web dev. I've mentioned the story before a couple times, so I'll just give a TL;DR
She has a graphic design class with my friend. The class was doing basic web development and had no idea what they were doing. I decided to go in there to help out some. Started talking to her, now everything's fun.
Here's a picture of us from Friday (you can only see my face tho, not hers). We were just being cute, as ya do.
12 -
Fuck I hate it so much talking to any of the hosting support chats, seriously questioned if it's some brainless bot talking, after I literally just answered his question (and ~3 times before that) and he asks it again
2 -
FB launched profile picture guard feature recently for Indian users ( well, we Indian men deserve these kind of publicity. -.- anyone being on Indian forums knows what I am talking about )
Anyway it claims that othersa CANT download your profile picture. But. I just did inspect element and found the image and saved it (and deleted of course. This was for research purposes). How effective do you think this can be?19 -
3 days, 3 fucking days into my annual leave and shit hits the fan right before Xmas weekend 🤯
Just one fucking week off seems too much ask these days let alone a few weeks, we are seriously talking about that pay check when I get back people 🤬2 -
!rant
One thing I love in devRant is the avatar design. Everytime I open up a rant, the replies below with avatars look exactly a group of developers talking in a bar.
It just visually makes me comfortable.6 -
A web developer has started working on my windows.
How should I communicate with it that I don't want a website outside my windows? Will this be considered a covid layoff if I just throw it off the said window? 🤔
P. S. I'm talking about a spider, icymi.12 -
Not kidding. I just woke up from a dream where Linus Torvalds invited us to his house. We were talking about early days of git and his views on Cloud bleed. I don't want to wake up 😭😭😭
-
I am talking about my class'mates'
How about moving the chairs under the tables when you leave the classroom.
It's just a sign of decency which none of you seem to have.
Oh and hitting someone isn't fun either, or playing football with their book.12 -
Imagine if, when a Windows version became outdated (So anything before Windows 8, I guess), Microsoft made it available in the public domain.
We could have Windows distributions, just like Linux! Imagine how weird it would sound if you just said to your Linux-using friend, 'Oh yeah, I use arch!' and they replied 'Oh, me too! I love Arch Linux!', and you just stare at them and say:
'What's Linux? I only use Arch Windows.'
...
...
...
'Arch Windows? Are you stupid?', they would reply in utter disbelief.
We all know someone's gonna blurt out 'Yeah guys! I just downloaded Kali Windows so I could learn to hack, I don't know what you're talking about!'
Ah, good times.3 -
Last night I compiled my first kernel module!
I'm not talking about a ./configure; make; sudo make install kind of thing...
I wrote, compiled, loaded the module and saw my silly "Hello World!" message on dmesg!
Using some previous experience on embedded I fired up qemu with a fresh buildroot image and the kernel image I just made, thus I can now test and debug without doing kernel changes to my workstation!
So yeah, I'm a little excited :-D4 -
God i love this site. Because its not a place to fix problems its not a place to share knowledge its not even just programmers hanging out and talking about their projects, no this site is as close as you can get to screaming into the void and still get sympathy
-
!dev
So, I've been talking to this girl for a couple weeks now, and she fucking makes me happy guys. I kinda mentioned her once or twice on here, but I didn't really want to say much cause I wasn't sure how stuff was gonna go with her.
But basically now, we're just "talking" if that makes any sense to any of the younger, more social audiences here. For those who may not get what I mean, it's like we're not really looking for anyone else, but we're not really official or anything. Just somewhere in between like friends and dating (she confirmed this for me cause I've made assumptions before and got hurt so I wanted everything to be crystal clear)
I actually met her because she has a class with one of my friends. I mentioned their class in my contribution to the weekly rant this week, where the graphic design class was doing some basic webdev. I skipped my anatomy class to go there one day, started talking to her (actually the day of my rant where I said I'd been up for like ~30 hours or however many it was. LIKE EVERYTHING I POST ENDS UP REFERENCED IN ANOTHER POST), and just kept skipping mainly to see her. Then my friend gave me her Discord and we started actually talking to each other.
Within like 2 hours of us first messaging we had one of those like cute couple arguments. It was over who had prettier eyes, cause I have blue eyes (that people usually say are beautiful, I posted a couple pictures here once), and she has really pretty green eyes. I said that hers looked better, but she said that mine do....She won the argument.
Since then, it's just been fun and cute and I fucking love it. SHE EVEN SAID A PICKUP LINE TO ME A FEW NIGHTS AGO THAT I JUST LOVED. It was "your eyes are more gorgeous than any source code I have ever seen". She found it online, but like at the time, that really touched me.
I'm just so excited about all this guys. She's adorable and I love talking to her. The one thing that's KINDA weird is that she has the same name as my younger sister, but we call my sister a shortened version of the name, so it's not THAT weird.
And I'm just rambling at this point, like I generally do with my rants. She actually knows my profile name and everything (but she isn't on here, she does art, not computers), so she could possibly see this, but I'll likely end up sending it to her at some point anyways.7 -
So... People até talking about windows update crash??
Omg....
It crashed on me after updating... I was late to bed so just pressed the doom button (power off)... Because I was coming on vacation next morning...
Still thinking about what's expecting me after I return
15 -
My father was talking shit about Apple whilest he meant Linux and I was just sitting there agreeing to him :)1
-
So I was talking to a Boomer about my job and why it's not "so easy, all you need is a laptop". And we were talking about specifically how the company makes a ton of money from my work, I've seen the contract, I get like less than 5% of what I make for the company.
After explaining a couple of things like this. They go back to then "why don't just buy a laptop then?"
Like, mother fucker! Did you just ignore my entire explanation just because don't understand it?44 -
Ok so I was talking to my computer science teacher earlier and he said that he would rather use vim over PHPStorm for creating a laravel project. WTF!
Normally I would be cool with it, but he has pushed faulty code to git over 8 times. I'm just done.8 -
fucking hosting company...
Just got a ticket back explaining that "the settings you want to make to your mysql database aren't possible with our hosting products". While they state in their FAQ that there are no restrictions applied. (We are talking about to possibility of using JOIN here!)
Ducking fuck.11 -
>Be me
>Loose job just before Covid started its crap
>About to get new job
>"We'll be in contact after the lock down"
>Fuuuuuuu.jpeg
>Months later, country starts open up little
>Starting to look more proactively again
>Company from before "no positions atm"
>Really liked that place, so Fuuuuuuu.jpeg again
>Talking to recruiter, they have something in mind
> Need assessment. Understandable
>They send a separate assessment for every single language on my CV and the cake thief thing
>NotImpressedMikalya.jpeg2 -
Guy talking with me a month ago:
Me: So you wanna take over project x now or shall I stay po/dev lead for some other months until you are worked in?
Guy: No, No it's fine lets continue for a while like this. Just assign me tickets and review my PRs.
Guy talking to Boss a month later:
Guy: There is no perspektiveeeee. I want to leaeaeaead! I want responsibilitiiiiiii.
Wtf do you want. -
FUCK. This person who I have to avoid at social gatherings because I find him insufferably annoying is applying to my workplace and oh my God I hope I never have to work with him, at least the company is 700 people so the odds are relatively low?
Uggggg he's the worst. And I'm so easy going. There's like two people I feel this way about (fortunately the other lives in a different city).9 -
Mother fucking cunts should be shot into the sun...
It's worse enough when you have to deal with many things at once...
But how the fuck can 3 people from 3 different teams have the same bullshit idea to disturb a meeting and just start talking like it's the most normal thing.
YEAH. INTERRUPTING MEETING AND JUST BLABBERING ON AND ON...
Then fucking laughing how funny it is.
Upper management found it absolutely not funny.
Working from home prevented a mass murder today.1 -
Me talking with my manager for handover before I leave. Just found out, there is an interview for my position, full stack dev.
No one bother asking me or the manager for tech interview and general manager from business interview alone by herself.
Manager: Do you code?
Poor soul: Yes, I do.
Manager: You are hired!
Shit, now I want to know what they ask to tech candidate without tech ppl.6 -
When the scope of a project is the solar system and we end up talking about the universe... for three days. I just want to rage quit the meeting. 😐3
-
Shit will hit the fan pretty soon. We're understaffed, the team is all talking about jumping ship and all other teams rely on our work, so if we jump ship, it sinks. It's really amazing that management is unaware or choosing to actively ignore the possibility. Either way, they're fucking up big time. Honestly, if it happens, it will be well deserved, it just sucks for everyone else working under them4
-
I ran across this middle school question on Facebook and the most common answer is 9.... I try to have faith in humanity. I really do.... just so its clear (I assume if you're a dev you understand the order of operations and I'm not talking to you), the answer is 59.
41 -
Here is a brief list:
- Idiots from marketing
- idiots from sales
- the lawnmower man (while doing his job)
- sun
- AC off && summer
- no ventilation / fresh air
- civil defense siren tests (we're just next to one...)
- idiots talking to me while I'm on my headphone
- music stops
- phone rings
- light theme
- devRant
- MySql Workbench
- etc2 -
I attempted to correct a higher up to show off my *amazing knowledge* on the subject matter (aka 5 seconds of googling)
Turns out what the higher up was talking about was actually correct, but was so vaguely known that it took deep diving into the docs to even find. What I was talking about was similar and technically also correct, but not relevant in the situation.
I was still pretty new at this point too. Luckily it was online so I just shamefully deleted my comment, but they probably saw it anyway.
Tough being a newbie trying to impress people! Doesn't help being helplessly awkward as well2 -
While we're talking about Microsoft and GitHub.
This is what people dealing with billions of dollars on daily basis look like. The awkward looking guy just fucked millions of developers all over the world so he's a byte uncomfortable about all this.
11 -
I hate my stupid non confident ass.
I was just negotiating for a pay for a project that I would work at after my day job, because I'm familiar with it and they really can't get a better person to finish it. And I get shy when talking to the boss and totally lowball it and now I'm working for peanuts.
Fuck. :(5 -
Today I was at my office, and one colleague from the design team approached me to ask something. Then she asked: why are you chatting with your computer? I replied to her, chat? Yes, I'm seeing you are talking with the computer... But, I was just using the terminal.10
-
Just overheard a conversation between 2 pilots while waiting to board a flight at an airport about some airplane related software. The guy talking seemed very proud (read egotistical) about his tech knowledge. It went something like... "Well you see it's open source so they are worried someone might have put a backdoor in it somewhere".
That's the point of open source you dumbass you actually have the ability to check 🤦♂️ -
Woah?! Shiit? What was that?
What caused such ridiculous pain?
Oh. Just Germans talking English again.7 -
Just had a talk with an actual good recruiter. I feel weird. Like he actually knew what he was talking about, knew that php is dead and only showed relevant jobs???20
-
!rant Stood outside talking to my next door neighbor (who I hadn’t met yet) for over an hour yesterday.
In the middle of the day.
In Texas.
Not in shade.
When I lack the ability to tan.
It’s been so long since I was stupid enough to be outside for that long that I forgot just how much sunburns suck.
#regrets
18 -
I wish I could just disappear into a black hole when everyone around me is talking so that I can peacefully code :(3
-
>Asks client if the proxy can use self-signed cert
>Client agrees, no problem
>Deploys
>Client complains about "an error they're getting"
>The error: "Error in connection establishment: net::ERR_CERT_AUTHORITY_INVALID"
:|
Am I a joke to you? Or am I just talking to a brick wall over there?7 -
Joins Skype group dev talk
20mins in mutes microphone
Co worker mentions something I am working on
Me: starts talking for a minute
Coworker: randomly interrupts me, like legit no warning, he just started talking....
Me: wait what da faq
OH wait I'm not mute....
Shit -
MANAGER: "Hey Slug, I just got off the phone with $partner about $issue and they want to have a meeting with us to discuss it. Send them an email and schedule something for Thursday morning."
WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK I AM, YOUR PERSONAL SECRETARY!!??? If you're the one who has a specific day and time of day that works this week, and if you were talking to them anyway, then how about YOU schedule the meeting????? And of course $partner comes back with "Does 10:30 work?" and so now I'm just playing middle-man. Who could have seen THAT coming.........6 -
I present to you the rubber duck I use for debugging.
that's right I dont have one. I just to talk to myself really. but what's curious is that when I do this, I tend to cock my head to a side, or turn slightly in my chair as if I was talking to someone just behind me. I didnt realize I was doing this until my cousin pointed it out to me coz it was creeping her out.
let me also mention that I used to have an imaginary friend growing up. his name's Jesse. I dont know if it really is just a weird mannerism or maybe I was still subconsciously talking to him.
3 -
Just saw a "Teen Kids News" show where they were talking about building complex applications like operating systems… and the background picture is some HTML meta tags…1
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I swear I hate seeing these wannabe programmers sharing their shit content on social media. I mean, I respect people who are getting into programming and giving it their best. But one just doesn't write "Fuck Types" when talking about a Dart. I mean, atleast open the introduction page of that language before you jump and start giving people "pro tips". Stop skimming over technologies/languages and dive a bit deep to understand how it works.9
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Today I had a dinner with several members of my family. At some point my uncle decided to bring up ‘tech stuff’ so we can talk about it. Nevertheless, few seconds in he was trying to convince me that IE is the best browser, being far superior than firefox, chrome etc.
I just nodded and started talking about how HTML is the language to learn if you want to be a dev 😅😂4 -
Holy fuck Microsoft,
you're just saying that you're giving away a ton of information to publishers when I am playing games on my Xbox.
Like data if I'm talking, chatting on Xbox Live, etc. so all this crazy stuff GA would do.
AND YOUR FUCKING OPT-OUT OPTION IS TO UNINSTALL ALL MY GAMES AND DON'T USE THEM. HOLY FUCK WHICH CRAZY DUDE CAME TO THIS IDEA?6 -
Was talking about Linux distros and on a chat group.
Me: So I got 30 gigs left. Where do I put it?
Friend: SSD's probably go to root. Don't give em to home.
Non dev friend: Did you guys just talk about drugs?
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I hate it when recruiters write something like "I now that you don’t like recruiters, but maybe you like this offer."
WHEN YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE YOU THEN JUST STOP TALKING TO ME!2 -
Just stumbled upon www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/hexspeak and started following all of the links.
Reached a whole new level of procrastinating. Now I have no idea what my professor is talking about.
Good job me😬💥2 -
My work place is just next to the meeting room, separated only by a glass partition. This means that every time there is a meeting I see and hear all the people talking so I can't concentrate.8
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Has anyone ever wanted to be ignored? Like talking to an empty void, not wanting a response? Just want to be alone?11
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!dev
It's funny to think that in a world where we keep telling ourselves that each of us are unique, we are always forced to follow societal norms. And I'm not just talking about stuff like sexuality, even people with small quirks have to bend themselves in order to be accepted by the masses...3 -
Me as a new manager, talking to the former manager.
Me : So what am I supposed to do?
He : You just yell at everybody's face.
Me : You know you can't do that to everybody.
He : Yes, I have.1 -
I just started using noise canceling earbuds and holy cow does it change things.
People talking and traffic blasting down the street in front of our office are my two biggest distractions on any given workday and I haven't heard any of it all day. It's heavenly.
I also have a brown noise machine I sleep next to and I've started dreaming again because I get actual restful sleep again.8 -
Have you ever tried to teach programming to a newbie?
Arghh..., well, now I do and I hate when they yawn. When my brain is working on 100%, when I'm trying to explain something with the hope that they understand what I'm talking about and they just ... YAWN!4 -
Dear Everyone.
There are like 8 things named "widget" (not that but just using a placeholder here for the actual name).
STOP TALKING ABOUT REFERENCING BY WIDGET BECAUSE THERE'S LIKE A BAZILLION POSSIBILITIES IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING IF IT COULD MEAN ..... ANYTHING1 -
If you do `log.error("blah: " + e.getMessage())` rather than `log.error("blah: ", e)` then I will personally hunt you down, come to your house, and give you a bloody good talking to as to why stack traces are free, useful debugging tools, and you've just wasted my time by omitting it.4
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Talking in buzz words is just a substitute for wanking, but without actually creeping the shit out of people by pulling out your wank organs.3
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So... do you actually talk to a dev duck like you would to a normal person, or do you just imagine talking to it?8
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I am a Samsung fan but Samsung just really sucks at UI. I mean seriously. What the fuck is this? I was driving and talking over Bluetooth, tried to change my volume and Samsung is like "Solve this puzzle first"
10 -
I've always wondered why Devs who are using windows seem to be allergic to any command line.
I've seen people install xrdp on Linux machines so they can remote desktop onto them, just to open up a terminal window.
But I think I now understand why.
Terminals on windows just suck.
And I'm not talking about CMD and powershell, I mean the terminal emulators.
The windows one is just awful, and even PuTTY is just annoying to use.
Yes it gets the job done but why do I have to click 4 times in some UI settings to change the font size? Just give me a zoom hotkey what the hell?
And the default colour scheme of putty always makes me want to shoot myself.20 -
All of a sudden every engineer at my work is a biochemist and talking about how the world is ending due to the Coronavirus.
Shut up. Wash your hands. Wipe down your laptop keyboard. Don't lick your hands after touching a surface. Don't touch your face. Just be cautious.1 -
Our stand up takes an hour everyday.
Explanation: everyday the same two guys pretty much hijack stand up by talking about tickets that ONLY involve them and has no relevance or dependency to the 8 other guys standing idle. Eventually I suggest they take the conversation offline because the rest of us aren't required. Scrum master gets offended and looks at it me like I've just spat in his face.
Productivity out the window or am I at fault?6 -
!dev
I just fucking hate people that have 10 years without talking to me and write me to ask for a favor.
Starting like: hey man how are you doing? Like you give a fuck about the shithole I'm at, just tell me what a fuck do you want and let me go back to my life.6 -
Honestly, stripe support is the best I've ever dealt with and I wish others would be exactly the same.
No level 0 support agents that don't know what the fuck they are talking about nor know their product to begin with, but instead every single person you chat with knows the API and even implementation details, just such a pleasant experience. -
So I just realised that one of the old GUI used in our old machine that has generated billions of dollars is just a massive popup :/
Talking about hacks...2 -
Sometimes when I read old code of mine I'm ashamed. But more often when I read others I just feel better.
(I'm talking about other webdev freelancers, not OS projects or so...) -
"Wow! Programming must be easy! Why did you charge us costly?"
Just because I work at home and talking to myself does not mean it easy...
PS. even now I still feel like noob in programming5 -
I don't know if some people are incompetent or just simply dumb.
If you're not sure what to do, ask.
If every guideline for each workflow has been uploaded, read and watch.
Don't wait until the very last minute.
Don't even act innocent when I ask and you don't even know wtf I'm talking about.
Don't "disappear" and come back when the deadline is in few days.
Just stop torturing me with your horrible work ethics.3 -
Sometimes I just feel so behind. Even when I’m productive and my projects are going well I feel like I can’t catch up and my current skill set is not enough if I want to get a job as a dev, and I don’t feel like a bad developer I’m pretty proud of myself and what I’ve been able to do so far and I have a BLAST when I’m working on my projects but I’ll be browsing devRant, Twitter, or Reddit and I’ll see people talking about aspects that people with jobs as devs have to worry about or just people working on code that is used in production and I just think to myself well I can’t do that, and just start questioning myself.5
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Some people have interesting, cool or exciting lives and I know u are fascinated by them... U may even fall in love . but do remember that u r an insignificant troll who is good at doing one complicated job and whose significance cannot be comprehended, appreciated or understood by the said fascinating people. So go back to your cave do the shit u usually do coz u have a deadline to meet.
-the voice inside my head4 -
I just read some of my old rants and it's no wonder I don't have more likes. Even I had trouble figuring out what I was talking about.4
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If you're stuck with something and just cannot figure out where the issue is in your code, there is nothing that helps you more than talking the problem out with someone.
Most of the time you'll end up figuring out the solution yourself while describing the problem to him/her. =)2 -
WooCommerce is shit
Just try to find anything in the documentation on their retarded website and you will get what I am talking about.
A billion of unstructured links. With absolutely no sidebar or table of contents.
IMPOSSIBLE to find any fuck there.
It is far easier to build an e-store from scratch, than to customize their ugly monster.
Now look Laravel or PHPunit documentation to compare how it should be.
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Literally slept off during this zoom call. I just woke up I don't wth everyone is talking about. Turns out my PR was up for discussion. Now I have to review a bunch of shit I thought I was done with. OS maintainers can be a pain sometimes 😭5
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My senior colleague recently said "Don't go around asking for best practices, it's a waste of time! Just try stuff until it works and commit it".
We were talking about writing code in a new language.1 -
When you're an idiot who doesn't know what you're talking about since you've always used Google, and people give you shit for it anyways instead of just being cool about it.
😧🔫
Come on guys. This is ridiculous. My school uses Google services, so I'm pretty much forced into it. I've never really ventured outside of Google because it works just fine. I clearly don't know what I'm talking about. That much is obvious. How about trying to be a good person and help me out instead of talking down to me and --'ing my rants and comments.
This is why humanity is doomed to fail. Half the population is comprised of complete fucking idiots, and the other half is mostly assholes.4 -
Dev, boss and guy who know logic is looking at the server.
Problem: it's not responding
Boss: we need this running now! Otherwise the sales won't go through
Dev: give me a chance, I just got here
Guy: have you tried turning it off and on again?
They did so and at works.
Boss: guess we don't need to hire another dev, this guy knows what he is talking about, he is some kind of server expert..
Really.........1 -
i think ai assistants would be much more interesting / less annoying if it had a faster, snappier syntax to talk through. Like shorthand code but in the sense of talking and just getting one word responses.5
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Never enter an elevator after your PM.
I just did and he asked me to tell a job applicant (i think) who was standing next to him whether it's worth it to work there.
As I am utter shit at small talk, improvising and talking to people in general i looked like an idiot who didn't like the company while trying to get out of that conversation.
This guy just loves putting people in awkward situations.2 -
!dev
Man, fuck pollen
Tree pollen just exploded where I live. That means I'm gonna be miserable for the next few weeks. I'm talking runny nose, itchy eyes, head fog, the whole 9 yards.
Wish me luck and bring me antihistamines4 -
People hear talking about shit like "*high level stuff* SUCKS. YOU *big tech company* FUCKTARD." And I'm just here trying to graduate without failing a CS course because my teachers want me to mug up the code and not understand it! Needless to say, I don't mug up but it's just so fucking irritating when people in your class are mugging up the code and definitions like it's Redbull and scoring stellar grades. FUCK THIS SHIT!4
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Every time I see #MOTD trending on Twitter I hope it's people talking about an interesting Message Of The Day that they have seen. Instead, it's just football ("Match Of The Day").2
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Damn, sometimes I want to rant about something rather badly, but feel I can't as I'd inevitably mention something way to specific which would identify me way too easily 🕵️♂️
I'll just say talking to our offshore dev team really does feel like talking to a brick wall 😒4 -
Honestly I love videos on YouTube that's sped up footage of someone programming a game and talking over it explaining what was happening or what they were thinking but I have only found a few channels that do it.. Hopson is one with his Mincraft in a week being my fav.. I just wish there was more..2
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That guy at the office who gets really irritated and worried about newly introduced technology. He would spend 2-3 days talking trash about it, saying how much he prefers the older and less efficient approach just because he knows it.
That fucking guy.2 -
Not a rant, just another story about me and the man I'm gonna wife.
We both have an upcoming job interview, and I was just talking about how at our previous internship I was using python to automate some tedious tasks for me.
Me: it's like a general thing, right, to just automate things you don't really want to do
...
Me: like breathing, and waking up, ya know? I don't wanna do that shit
Him: it kind of already is automated.
Me: *three years of wasted time at med school come tumbling back in to my brain, suddenly recalling the brainstem*
Me: oh, yeah.1 -
So, today is the final day of my internship, and I was almost done, until my fucking assface of a client calls me, and suddenly want 10000000 fucking things changed in a database, and I'm not just talking "Could you add this field?" Or make this default to that, no I'm talking change of relationships, schemas and the whole shebang, oh and suddenly the product also needs localization for 3 fucking languages, but it hasn't been built for this shit. Thank God my assessment was yesterday, I just noped right out of here.
People, don't be dicks, think what you want your product to be before starting the development1 -
*launches devrant: * almost everyone talking about types of IDEs to use, while I sit here with just a text editor in my own farts contemplating how much different will my workflow be.4
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!rant
People just annoy me. I don't feel comfortable around them.. they don't understand most of the things I say and I hate listening to them because they usually just don't get to the fucking point.
I really think that most people are just not able to think efficiently or logically.
When talking to smart people, I really enjoy it and am able to have discussions with them that last for hours..
Is this normal or am I just "special"?4 -
I was cozy at home, coding and talking trash with my duck, then "real" life called and now I'm out in the cold. Nothing new here, just wanted to complain about something 😓
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It seems like sensitive websites that need more priority to work fine are the ones that do not. I'm talking about government, school, bank, & service provider sites. Or it's just my retarded country.9
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Just had my second interview at Freitag and it was quite fun. At the end I was talking about anime and bass playing instead of IT stuff xD
Hope I get it :D3 -
Okay but whys no one talking about w3js? Its not a complete overhaul of the entire frontend shit, it doesnt introduce fucked up concepts, it literally just abstracts away those 10 functions everyone creates a function for in the first 2 minutes either way, its actually useful.1
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Just went to my accounts in Google. And happen to go across my activity section. I had no fucking idea I was tracked so much! It even lists the app I have opened at particular time. It stores every frigging thing I do with my phone. Goddamnit! Yes, I understand I have agreed to share my information with you. But you just take everything.
Go to myaccount.google.com and head towards the my activity section. You'll know what I'm talking about if you are heavy android user.5 -
So my co-founder, tried to outdo my equity in the company, by asking me to give up percentage of our equity for his father, so that he could have the leverage.
He is not talking to me since then,
When I said politely to piss off.
Just because you are a techie people try to abuse you
Any advice ?9 -
Okay, honst question:
What the fuck is up with all that self deprecation?
I am not talking about the usual irony that comes with certain stereotypes about being a developer.
I am talking about people telling themselves that they are unable to socialize, find a girlfriend or generally justifying bad things just because they belong to a certain group.
It's not the 80s. Software devs and nerds in general are not all social outcasts anymore. I don't understand how some people can just "accept their fate as a dev" and act as if anything is keeping them away from social success.
What's your take on this issue?17 -
So the company I work at is moving to a new location. We are a small company, so we were all talking about potential problems with the move - network, internet, firewalls, access to servers and so on. Us trying to cover all possible scenarios.
Our CTO looks up and says: “or we could just cross our fingers and hope for best”.
WTF🤯2 -
TLDR: dealing with other people is stressful
I hate having to explain things to people and then they still don't listen.
Especially if they know nothing about the topic.... I guess like those little kids that ask Why? all the time.
Can't you see I have other things to deal with, just do what I say because unlike you I already tried ... Or just know what I'm talking about....1 -
For years I've been saying software is "depreciated" , today I just noticed that the term is "deprecated".
Not sure either term really means what we think it does when talking about old software though.
https://getproofed.com/writing-tips...7 -
I was introduced to an Oracle dba working for one of the companies licensed for them
I was just starting out a few years in
Was using MySQL and dotnet to develop our system
Cost effective
Bastard gives me a kind of smirking smile after talking about basically representing a fucking catalog of use cases no real development and says "it just takes more to get this position"
Few years later oracle buys MySQL , the product he smirked about
Guess their system was really only good for Wal fucking Mart
Burn in hell oracle !1 -
Working from home is a cool experience for me, but video meetings are a hassle. Not because of the nature of the meeting, but because I need to be sure that certain giant pillow is not visible for the webcam.
Also, for some reason I'm the only one with a stable connection, so there's a large overhead of asking and nobody talking, because we don't know what just happened3 -
I have an internal perception of myself. It isn't an image like a memory is, and it's not a description such as a sentence, but it's purely a feeling. I feel it in the core of my soul, not my body. And when I listen to Minecraft volume Alpha, it transforms my internal perception for the duration of album and the feeling lingers afterwards.
By now I must have a year of in game time and hearing those sounds and seeing the old textures brings be back to the days of middle school playing Minecraft Pocket Edition Lite on my first phone.
I wasn't happier back then. I'm just as happy today as I was back then. But restoring my inner self to that time, just briefly, is wonderful.
I'm thankful to Minecraft for being a great game. It has seen many changes in it's public perception. In the beginning, it was for all ages. Deadmau5 played it, notch developed it. It was a different beast. Then, without the content of the game changing at all, it became a child's game. Then it became a child's game that PewDiePie played and it was acceptable to play without any shame again. And now, once again, it is on a downward slope to being a child's game.
No matter what the shifting sands of public view on the game is, I will always hold this game close to my heart and I will continue to play it whether it's socially acceptable or not. If for nothing else than to remind my soul of a simpler time.1 -
Has anyone here ever created fonts? specifically cursive fonts?
If so, comment here. I have an idea. Yes this should be collab, but not really, b/c it is just an idea.
And I need clarification on it. So, yes, technically, a question. Seriously though, font person, I'm talking to you, easy money.
(Sorry for using the word easy money, except it is apt)13 -
I love how the people that stay here at this student accommodation uses the WiFi without consideration. There is about 14 people in the house with maybe 2 devices that connects to the WiFi, which connects to an ADSL line that has a speed of 10mbps. One of my roommates, video calls on Skype with his gf or whoever DAILY. You probably expect them to be talking and stuff right? No, they just have video call on but not talking just doing their own thing on their phones and stuff... Wtf? Dont they realise they hogging up the bandwidth?
Every time I restart the WiFi he waits for the connection to be up and goes back to having the video call up but not chatting... Ffs...18 -
A Twitter API issue is allowing people to (once again) bootloop iPhones and iPads with the text parser. This was just submitted to Twitter's staff, I don't see anyone talking about it yet. Disable notifications or uninstall and use the mobile site.15
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Was talking to a friend of mine and he was very expressive about companies (Especially tech companies) just wanting money...
Turned to him and said that wasn't true because if it was Motorola would make a gen 3 of the Moto 360...
(This is sort of a mini rant for me because they are too busy copying the iphone design instead of giving the people what they want and will earn them a shit tonne of money)3 -
I was talking to some people I know that I was looking for a job. My (now) boss overheard that conversation and just told me that I don't need to look any further.
-
One of my first classes about networks my teacher was talking about the differences between a Hub and a Switch, he just stop the class and say a random student's name from the list.
Teacher: "Martin Romero?"
Martin: "here"
Teacher: "this is how a Hub works, everyone listen the message but only Martin answer it."
It was the best example I ever heard from a teacher, one of the best in the whole university imo.1 -
If we were talking - and then all of the sudden, I don’t talk to you anymore... it’s probably because you ignored my advice and chose to go to an especially bad boot camp. Now - that’s fine! But the reason I’m not talking to you is because I just don’t know how to say anything positive about your terrible decision and the terrible school... so - I’m just not saying anything at all.8
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Tonight I spent 5 hours installing arch. After seeing everything go smoothly I do the final reboot, only to watch the grub command line appear on the screen. I tried to boot into my arch installation but it kept talking about kernels missing and stuff. I thought I learned a ton but Fuck me. Now I'm installing neon kde just so I have my fucking linux desktop ready. Maybe someday I'll make it...3
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Why do people <blank>?
This came from asking the question of "Why do people drive crazy?" The person I was talking to said you could just ask "Why do people do anything?" and the answer would be the same.6 -
!ok
A guy just told me that printing variables to check for errors is better than debugging!
I am done talking to him 😂6 -
I want to talk to my co-workers about interesting technical stuff but I'm too boring...they just aren't interested in talking to me. Dammit3
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Douchebag coworker. Asked me how my work trip went (big client demo) and asked if anything that I was "complaining and whining" about went poorly. Mind you I was bitching about having to clean up HIS SHIT because he completely dropped the ball on the project. I had to go in and finish or fix all of the things he didn't do or did super poorly. I literally just told him to fuck off and stopped talking to him.1
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Hey guys! So I just woke up from a dream in which I was talking with skilled programmer and he gave me awesome pro tip which I'd never realize exists!
But it was my dream so my idea. I have no idea how the f*ck this works but it's awesome. Is it just me or ?3 -
Manager: make some AI for this project it is simple.
Me: what are we talking about?
Manager: I want to get a report about any topic in our ERP just by talking to the software.
Me: 😓3 -
Sitting here scrolling my timeline seeing my friends and family getting engaged, getting their degrees, getting new jobs, talking about #addictedtosuccess and all that. Meanwhile I'm just here like "Should I use a constructor or a static method for this?" 🤷🏽♂️3
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I just spent 3 days with 1 or 2 hour of sleep just for learning a new way to code. Not a project it just for learning. And it make me crazy i cant stop thinking about that. And now im not sleeping at all and code almost 24 hours. But i feel a lot of fun while writing a line of code. I enjoyed every sound i made with keyboard.
Im soo happy now i learned a lot of things. I dont know how to stop and i dont want to stop coding.
I dont know what im talking but thanks devrant for letting me post this shit.5 -
Every day on my train ride, there's at least one person on a phone talk talking inappropriately loud. Sometimes I just want to get up and smack their phones...
I get that you have to maka a quick phone call to tell your Girlfriend you'll be there in a minute, or to talk about something really really urgent.But please keep it short and simple. I thought about buying a jammer, but shit's expensive and most probably illegal :/2 -
talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.
i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.
which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.
6 -
First day at work and after seeing the codebase and how everyone's talking about the code, I'm pretty sure I don't have imposter syndrome, I'm just that bad...13
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So everyone is talking about those Greek sign pranks right? But I got something just as bad (I haven't used it as a prank but I've just encountered it on my own -> pranked my self)
So on Mac OS you can type this character with ALT+Space and it looks like a space, but it isn't. If you don't have render whitespaces on you would never know that it is not a space... Imagine the time you can spend on finding that xD you mistyped 1character and BAM broken xD5 -
Sometimes I like to see how the other side live and just watch people in a computer store.
There are the nervous tip-toers who don't want to attract attention. The point and lookers, who read the sign and nod and show they understood.
There are the ones who just wander aimlessly trying to look like they know what they want.
Finally there are the 'expert helpers' who know enough 'techie' words to convince anyone around that they know what they're talking about.
It's like a people zoo.1 -
!dev
Today, on the Hypocrite show we have a bunch of hypocrit wankers talking meta. For example, this just in, a bunch of talkative wanker classmates, all gorls (yes, this is not a typo (yes it's for sarcastic goal (yes read it in Gru's voice (no I don't do Lisp stop asking)))), start talking about how they don't like their lower-graders talking too much they, the previously mentioned "gorls", are around and would prefer them to shut up and let enjoy their "peace and quiet". Oh I don't know, you wankers wants my 2-page 11px complain on you talking too much in class and everywhere you go?6 -
How does it feel attending conferences? (Good ones!)
Here in my country we don't have that many good ones they are all just some show offs talking about how they hacked their way through. But when I see videos for big conferences with thousands of people it makes me feel a bit jealous and sad that I can't attend those where you'll get real achievers (~_~)
Why did I have to be born here like this FUCK 3rd world countries.2 -
Today we had an hour long meeting on gitflow. The senior developer who felt compelled to arrange this meeting, during his demo couldn't figure out how to merge a hot-fix. "But you guys know what I'm talking about, right?" *Forehead=>Brick-wall*
If I wanted to lose brain cells I'd just start doing drugs, at least it would be more fun.1 -
Supervisor: "You could just hold a meeting for 5 minutes and talk about what problems you encountered during development"
Or... you could just go home and not waste your 5 minutes talking about jerking people off.1 -
Why is everyone talking about this Silicon Valley Tv Show. I just started watching it, and i cant stop 😅😣1
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Join a new project & client site
Been a week and still no access, so no work
Told to read up on various subjects
Told to go back to internal office and talk with coworkers tomorrow
Get a flat tire on the way in, $200
Get it fixed
Comtinue to office
No one knows what I'm talking about
Call boss, no answer
What is my life, I just wanna to development -
More than once recruiters have thought it's a good idea to phone my desk to try and recruit me. Fine I can just say no thank you and move on, it does however get a bit awkward when you're interrupted talking to your boss by a recruiter phone your desk and you've aliased their number on lync as 'ass clowns'1
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A constant fight because the code style matters. If you think it doesn't, just go and die already.
If any of you great folks with no sense of code style are reading this, fuck you, fuck you all, you should leave your jobs and yes I am talking about these assholes who have like 15-20 years of experience in the industry but surprisingly I never heard of anything they made.1 -
The Joe Rogan Experience. Sometimes I just need to hear someone else thinking out loud so I don't have to do it for myself. Plus, who else is going to remind me that:
“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”
- Joe Rogan2 -
Steve Jobs talking about gigabit internet, cloud and SaSS in ‘97
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
watching old Jobs videos from 90s when Steve was at Next and just after back to Apple with great ideas and fresh mind, damn he saw that all in 90s -
has anybody made the joke about 31th October and 25th December yet?
Well, my ex boss just ask me, why do developers always get confused with 31 oct and 25 dec?
when I figured out what the hell was she talking about, i laughed and cried.
31oct == 25Dec4 -
Longest/shortest job interview you ever had?
My shortest was under 10m, i came in for the wrong function via a recruiter.
My longest is 135m the guy just kept on talking and talking and talking and....8 -
Weekly drama call 1.
(the number reflects the devrant broadcast count not the actual count).
We work with a remote team and the project manager there just loves to talk. It started as something adorable(?) but it's just plain annoying now. He keeps on talking and talking and talking. We just muted him, had a good laugh and missed nothing. Nobody has any idea when he'll stop.
:/
.
.2 -
some African elders who cant just let a young person be a young person
if you can't do without minding your business, just ask me what I am looking at or doing on my phone. I'll turn the screen to you and explain.
they just start this very long unnecessary talk about young people and phones
the fact that this fellow doesnt even know me, never been to my house, just met me on a trip is just talking nonsense
blah blah blah blah
you went to school to sir! but you're here doing business. is that your degree2 -
So I am finishing school this year and I want to study computer science after that. They keep telling us at information events that a salary of 90.000+ €/year is quite usual for a good programmer...
I'm just wondering if it is really true or are they just talking bullshit? Does anyone have some experience or information for me? :)9 -
My biggest insecurity is not being able to understand the problem or figure out how to solve it.
Also seeing that we aren't finding a common ground to agree to about the problem and/or solution thinking if I was just talking gibberish to them all along and I can't just carry the message across.1 -
I hate the word "Proactive"
What does that even mean? You add the prefix pro- to the word "active" and you get the same thing! Why not just say active?!
We're talking an active approach
We're taking a proactive approach
See, they mean the same thing and the first version doesn't make you sound like a douche.12 -
(was just talking to Root now, and it reminded me of this)
You know what I fucking hate about Android phones? They do stupid shit like update your keyboard WHILE you are typing. Hate Apple as I may for having inferior hardware and ridiculous pricing, the iPhone is more worth having than Android. I simply find the features a lot better executed on iPhone than Android, almost across the board4 -
!rant
Today I took a taxi to work.
I put on my hands free on my both ears and started watching an online course.
After a while I payed the driver with a bill expecting him to give back the rest.
He started whispering sth (but I couldn't hear him!) Then he started looking at me!
Oops! Looks like he was talking to me...
I took of my handsfree and he started talking about young people have became deaf these days ! They have lost their minds !!! (He repeated these all thr way !!)
I did not know what yo say, so I stayed silent and just smiled :)1 -
IDK exactly, probably just other people talking about interesting things...
Or even just tits on instagram :(
I can't help myself2 -
Making software is science. I'm not talking about overengineering, just doing things right (with a minimum of automated testing, abstraction, architecture easy to modify, stuff like that). If you don't wan't to invest money in science, but only in business, get external providers for parts of your product, if not all of it. Stop making custom stuff that already exists, unless you can make something better (because it most probably ain't be cheaper, regardless the quality level).2
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So apparently friends have access to privates.
Just some coding thoughts. Yes I'm talking about C++, not...
Indeed, programmers are tiny Gods.1 -
I just can't wait for Ai, the day will be so beautifully ecstasy filled.
Just sit there, talking, saying what you want, no bugs.
oh my5 -
Why?? just why is it that analytics engineer requires SQL and talking to product managers?
Where is the whole corporate chain when you need one?4 -
I just had my first "technical" interview with a CDO of a digital marketing startup currently employing ~50 people. The quotes come from the fact that he basically didn't ask me a single question - he basically spent 30 minutes talking about their tools, how everything works etc. I asked a metric shitton of questions, but I don't know how this whole situation could give any assessment of my position as a junior frontend web dev. I'm confused as balls.7
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NPM modules are supposed to make us save our time, but very often, after hours and hours of juggling I end up write by myself those fucking functions.
And I'm not talking about unknown packages made by a bored guy in a lazy Sunday, I'm talking about fucking well known modules like passport. OH MY GOD. How much sucky is the passportJS documentation? There are fucking hundreds of options and they are not referenced anywhere if not on StackOverflow. When you login in a website thousands of things can go wrong, why the hell do you always send that shitty 401 and you don't let me control the code? They are two fucking days I'm trying to fix it and I realized I could write that function in 2 minutes if I just didn't use passport. FUCK7 -
Most humbling thing for me us talking to people who have more experience than me about a problem I have. It's kind of uncomfortable at first knowing you're not that good compared to these guys, but eventually you just realize they were where you were once, asking people better than you for help.
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Hello. I am student. And I have a question, how could I earn some money on the internet? I am not talking about big amount of money. Just a little, so I could buy a few drinks with friends10
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Skinned my mother alive. She didn’t feel a thing. Threw away everything except the skin itself, but left the head intact. She’s alive and well, albeit can’t move. I roll her up, pack her in my bag and bring her to school with me.
She wasn’t quite against it, but wasn’t happy either. Just kept talking to me condescendingly, as usual.
Meanwhile, my grandpa recreated his room in Excel and moved there.6 -
I hate it when an opinion is valued by someone seniority.
Sure, you might not like react, fine, but if your only argument for that is it being built by Facebook, you're just an ass.
Sure, you might not like node, fine, but if your only argument for that is your prejudice towards javascript , you're just an ass.
Normally this guy is pretty nice, but fuck you for talking about shit you don't understand6 -
I am talking with the tech lead for a solution he is proposing for the project.
I already finished coding it yesterday because of our "just deliver" culture. Our tech lead is opposing this culture. The deadline established by the manager is basically tomorrow.
Is this right approch for a tech lead? To oppose the management established deadline?4 -
I feel like there's an over saturation of dev sites talking about "tutorial this" and "best practice that". Would be refreshing to have developers just talk about their grind and not so much their showing off of what they just learned from Stack.....oh wait a minute!! Must be how this devRant came to be! Hmmm....fuck me, epiphany. Who knew?
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"Hey, just scheduling in some time for a catch-up today, looks like you've just got focus time so I've scheduled it then"
"Wait, why did you decline my invite?!"
Because I actually need time to focus and do my job, and spending an hour talking to your sorry arse about something irrelevant doesn't trump time I need to focus? Bleh. People. -
Watched Tom Scott's video on FizzBuzz today. Quite interesting. Did some further reading and apparently some people either fail completely or it takes them forever to get to a solution.
And this is Computer science graduates we're talking about. Like wtf?
For those of you who doesn't know what FizzBuzz is, just Google it.1 -
New to working with git in a large scale application. I've used it in personal things, but not at an enterprise scale.
"genius" me: git pull origin {{dev branch name}}
"genius" me: why won't any of these tests work?
"genius" me: spends 2 hours working on fixing some tests
actual genius that I work with: Dude, revert that shit and pull from master, the tests will work. Don't pull from {{dev branch name}} because you have no idead what might be there.
This makes sense. Things are started and abandoned in favor of new priorities all the time. At least my PM is pretty cool and didn't freak out that I wasted that couple of hours like at a previous position.
Also, git is far superior to mstfs. Very smooth and easy to use once you get the hang of it.4 -
I had this amazing friend during my Bachelors and I think because of her I started to learn programming.
Long story short, IT(not just IT though) curriculum in India is shit. So you do not really get to learn during your college. It’s completely on you and how you self teach. This friend who I am talking about not just learnt all this and did research for herself, but she tried to teach and make others aware as well. She organised DjangoGirls workshop in our city where I participated. That’s when I really started learning stuff useful in real world. -
The people who run these scheduling meetings need to remember that this building is just one big tinder box ready to go up in smoke. 30+ minutes talking about bull shit that only affects a small percentage of the team. AND we're behind and dealing with a push that happened on a Friday before the guy who wrote the code left for vacation to go to Tennessee to watch the eclipse for some reason.
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!rant
I dont get why people talking to someone affected by williams syndrome, talk to them like they're slow.
you go watch the video "an introduction to williams syndrome" on yt, minute 1:45, guy works at cracker barrel as a greeter.
seems normal to me. just a little too nice. other than that they seem to grasp humor and social convention *when told*.
shit, maybe I got williams syndrome. -
Was talking with a coworker about a fictional scenario. I described walking up to the secretary receiving desk and standing there eating donut holes. There is currently a box of donut holes sitting there. I talked about standing there eating the donut holes and just starting blankly at the secretary. If the secretary tries to engage in conversation I would just act as if nothing has been said. Just keep eating donut holes. I described this as being Aggressively Anti-Social (AAS).
I will need to add this to my ideas for a tech movie. Does anyone else think up alternate universe scenarios? These crack me up.7 -
I'm always amazed at how people tend to prefer a certain pain instead of an uncertain relief... Batshit crazy...
One cousin talking about his abusive relationship: "Could be worst.... At least he doesn't beat the children"
A colleague talking about his failed marriage: "It's not so bad, we just have to avoid each other."
And you'll find the same shit with management. "The prod is only on D.O.S. twice a day...", " Every deploy is a hell as shit hit the fan, but after a week it's the usual"...
Crazy how "change" afraid people1 -
Ok, now marketing people are just baby talking at this point. “The bad guys are this and ur a good adult - if ur really a good boy u will contribute to the movement in buying this product”. I’m starting to realize how dumb we actually are individually again and I hate it.10
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I'm often taking with co-workers and my supervisor, but it's extremely frustrating because they interrupt all the time before I've finished a sentence or if I misplaced one word while talking. They completely misinterpret what I say and I have to deal with their bickering once they think I said something incorrect.
Good grief people, just be patient.1 -
When i heard people talking much about scrum & agile things, but he actually never implement yet even worst he didn't really know about scrum it self, just STFO... I'm tired of all those BS 😪
1 -
!rant
Anyone know a template for documentations beside gitbook?
Not specifically for a language, just a framework or a template where we can add text, images, code, etc .
I am not talking about markdown here.
Btw, is there a free template just like https://codelabs.developers.google.com/...1 -
Some Coworker - developing about 20 years with WinForms and very ugly code.
Me - Junior Dev about 4 years now started with WPF and not long ago with MVVM.
Me trying to teach him some MVVM... Just frustrating. Like talking against a Wall..
Getting a headache now. I need a stressball -.-1 -
This week is the week of planning ahead for the whole left year upto beginning of next year.
My tongue has muscle soreness, my brains gyri are straightened out, my throat is hoarse... And talking really feels like licking a cactus.
I. Hate. Talking.
Just one more day with 8 hours of meetings.
*drools*9 -
One day (maybe) I will understand how the "bestest IDE in the world" (cit.) can consume over 10Gb of memory just... for being open while not editing any file or anything.
Just in case you're wondering I'm talking about VsCode and yes I know it's not an IDE just in case you want to point out :-) It's just I see more and more people referring to it as it was one.11 -
What are webhooks anyway? From what I read, they are just a fancy way of talking about APIs and HTTP requests.6
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Ha! There's nothing like listening to a couple of crotchety devs talking shit about agile for half an hour, just to have a junior dev bust into the room and frantically exclaim "we have to start over from scratch again!" Apparently, someone didnt fully understand the requirements... 😉1
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Why am I so curious?
You are always talking about Arch linux. Well, I got a second hand (very old) laptop to use as a backup, as I am going to working from home and I just have a desktop pc. So I decided to install Arch on it just to know how does it works. After this first experience, I would change it to a lubuntu (I am talking about a Celeron with 2GB RAM).
Well... I managed to install Arch. It is up and running. Lot's of problems to fix yet, sound, native wifi (I am using a wifi adapter that just works on any linux distro) etc but I am fucking in love with Arch! And I can't use it to work, as it is very unstable and I really need everything always up and running to work. I cannot have any glitch with the computer or I can lose a deadline.4 -
- Limit the number of attendees to those absolutely required
- If you need a person just for a specific topic, split the meeting into multiple meetings in direct sucession and send the person off after his/her topic is finished
- before making a meeting, make sure it really is required. If the meeting consists of a single person talking 90% of the time, write an E-Mail instead -
So, my simulations started to take about a week to complete.
Productively invested the time in getting into Python!
I'm really liking its syntax and relative simplicity (coming from c++) and I'm kinda digging it at a sort of proof-of-concept producer: instead of talking in pseudocode I can just put down a python script to show what I mean. -
Talking means more breathing. Breathing means more CO2 emissions.
Pointing instead of talking is just one step closer to saving the environment, and saving the world. -
I really recommend to follow the online course of Jonas Schmedtmann on Udemy talking about JS from 0 to expert.
Have you ever heard about it?
I just starting the course some week ago, but i fell very involved by him, i think one of the best teacher on the platform,
Anyway I'm really proposed to hear some feedback or another different personal experience3 -
Is it just me or when your brain is going through code in the background while you are talking on a video call and then you do a typo in the private chat message and the receiver suddenly thinks you are an idiot!2
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Anyone here from Germany who ordered from the devRant Swag Store?
I've ordered some devDucks and I'm wondering how customs will be handled, considering that the amount I paid is above the 22€ which would pass customs just fine.
That being said, I can't wait to bring them to work and surprise my coworker. We're just 2 devs in the company, so I ordered 2 ducks and a cape to swap them. This way, we always got a duck that knows what we're talking about. :-)1 -
Okay, what's the stupidest idea for a project?
I'm talking projects that you'll do only to show off that you can! With disregarding the "why" part.
I'm talking the 'connecting to the coffee machine and making coffee through the ssh connection' project, or creating a vim plugin that orders pizza.
Just how crazy can we get?1 -
Just finished building a new Linux workstation that my company bought me! That Ryzen 2700X is just ridiculously fast! I'm not talking about irrelevant FPS benchmarks on some hip game...
I'm talking about compile time for the Linux kernel and buildroot!
Long story short, is about 5x my previous workstation with a Xeon 3.
Now I wanna get my hands on a 32 threadripper for my personal computer!! -
When your code gets out of control because you have one script talking to another and you make it have 10+ arguments and the entire time you're writing it you're thinking "this is just for now, I'll fix this later. I'll do this with JSON or something. Just need to get this to work first."1
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I am working with Apache Spark on Scala for my undergrad research. It got me thinking: what is Scala used for beside doing stuff with Spark?
Not sure whether it's just me but most posts talking about Scala seem to always mention Spark. -
Oh for fucks sake! Why so we have threading when we synchronize EVERYTHING with a singleton... and when I actually show you that even unthreaded spaghetti code runs 40% faster under real life conditions than your shit you just brush it of because I'm still at university and don't know what I'm talking about... And not because changing it would require money or time we don't have... no, just because I “lack the necessary experience with such things.“
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*sigh* that moment when you call your provider and after 20 minutes of talking and waiting you get redirected to the IT department and a feeling of coming home rises in your stomach. *relief*
Furthermore when you instantly like someone over the phone just because you feel like being from the same kind. Anyone ever had this feeling? Or am I just a creep!? 😅 -
Do you ever get those moments if you wonder if you're in the right field? I'm not talking imposter syndrome or anything, just plain, you can't do it.
I've been staring at this cpp function for over an hour now, and I still can't decide where is the right place to return it. This is like every single day while studying cpp, and it's seriously beginning to dishearten me. I know it's just one of those things that'll come with time, but it's been nearly two years now and I still can't get it...6 -
More talking with manager today. If i wanted to check out the 200+ issue backlog to see if there is anything i can pick up.
I was just laughing. I already do that on a weekly basis. It’s not that i dont want to work! -
Asked to speak to somebody who knows what they're talking about from tech support, at this stage I'm just pretending to do what they're asking because they clearly know nothing. At least they get to feel good about themselves after when I tell them they "fixed" the problem.
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Virgin Galactic unity 22 spaceflight live. ( just trash talking right now )
https://youtu.be/GKG2IicSlSY -
So, the customer I was talking about 2 rants ago messaged me back. He still wants me to create the script. He says: "you don't have to rig it on purpose, just add the option to make it more or less rigged. I'll pay extra". So he still wants me to create the website but just don't rig it on purpose. I yet again debunked the offer to just stay safe. I don't want to block his emails tho because he is a good customer, he buys a lot of my scripts.3
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Been meaning to start a podcast that’s just based around talking shit about is there to talk about on that day I just have no idea how you attract an audience to a startup podcast2
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Just had the best meeting since I started here. The DBAs couldn't attend so we decided to postpone the meeting for two weeks. After that we started talking about beer and now I have 5 names of different beers that I want to try :-)
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Fuck that unqualified asshole of IT guy at the customer. He has no idea what he's talking about, constantly sets focus to unspecific bullshit and just wastes my time and energy. How do you deal with shit like that?!2
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- Dictate the user experience of the product
- Get it built automatically by IDE - backend, frontend, whatever, everything.
- Customizability options - make changes to UI, backend structures, database schemas and models
- all of this by just talking in normal human language. -
"...what I'm looking at... uh... wait this is ridiculous... what is this... how do I update this..."
This new guy I'm supposed to bring up to speed constantly mumbles like this. He's just talking to himself. But it's so annoying that it's like he's constantly asking me questions.2 -
Just please make the rule, if you don't have a cookie, don't show the pop up asking you to register for shit. If I haven't been to your site before, I DON'T WANT TO SIGN UP TO ANYTHING BADGER TURD!! Are there people that actually do that? If so, they deserve a whole evening talking to a project manager about their next great idea. Or, being flayed with a potato peeler. Which ever is worse.1
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Just imagine Alexa, Google Assistant, Siri, and Cortana talking to each other. What will they talk about? and How good the conversation would be?6
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Have you ever need "modify/edit" button in your real world in talking??!
I told my GF a memory which I had with my frnds. It was about drinking and hangOver. She said "You didn't tell that to me!!" I said "I said that before! " again she said "No you didn't!!!" At that moment I was just looking for a modify/edit button!!!😒😒 -
A colleague on my team just confronted because she felt offended a lot by things I've said...
I don't recall saying anything that could offend her though other than an email yesterday that sorta triggered the convo.
But I'm like wtf.... Maybe I'm just not good at talking to ppl.... Especially girls8 -
Has anyone here had a need to use Unmanaged Code, ie C++ interop for the sake of performance on a practical level? (ie, not just coz it's fun)
Im excluding driver or OS level code.
Only Server Side OR User side programs
Coz wouldnt the overhead of talking to unmanaged code overwrite any CPU-time benefits?2 -
My rubber duck.
Because talking out loud has kept me from making a lot of mistakes. Sometimes ideas are just dumb if you try to explain them. Even if it's to an inanimate object. -
Wow shit, you are a colleague of the client and you are talking so informal to me, no freaking manners, besides I'm just starting out with my career and it looks like he is about to retire! Just GO allready and leave the technical stuff to people how can do that shit!!3
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dude why there so many dum fuck in this industry like people who just graduated , and don't know shit about tech or anything but flex and complain about shit just can accept that they don't know any shit this many years fucking noobs nothing like why are they , this don't deserve jobs just make bug and always call for help like why cant they figure out their shit, its just cant just spoon feed they every time, like i dont know what happens to this people after or they just survives in it? just tired of getting my ass on whenever they suck dude they dont know how to commit git lol , but never accepts , i am not talking about one person its like a species now , they dont even try to learn even tho they get jobs for no way , itrsucks2
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The worst part of being a dev is talking to non-dev people. They cannot understand simple logic. You need to describe things twice or more. They think you should solve the entire problem when they ask just a single question instead of answering this question.
I even cannot understand what those people are talking about most of the time. -
So I sent an email to a list of email ids. I got error message that one id does not exist. Does that mean the email didn’t go to just that one address and went to the others? Or the email didn’t do to anyone? I’m talking about gmail.6
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I just discoverd a search input and can inject code on it. Send a email to the owner talking about the problem and what can happen. i dont received a reply and the website Stay the same
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I just thought of a potential webapp ideas while talking a shower. Still need to give it some thought but wondering how best to built it out? Sorta like a message board/kiva/change.org
I'm thinking #1 is backend + REST api. Then just create a webapp using React Native so it can be used mobile and browser?
Probably will build the first prototype though using either C# just to test the APIs...
But I guess how do you break a project up. Do you build backend first or do it feature by feature (both backend and frontend)?
And well what about hosting? Do need to decide now like AWS/Heroku... Or can I just build on local? Need a db though...1 -
My family was super chill about it. My dad just does his best to let me know I need to stop talking when I start talking "over his head".
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