Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

So, I saw you guys sharing your coding buddies, here's mine

(Banana for scale [old 9gag habit])

Friend: "Wow! Is it a Raspberry PI?"
Me: "It's another version called Banana, but yes."
Friend: "I want one too for the games!"
Me: "OK, it's easy. There's a ROM called Retro ..."
Friend stare at me intensively
Me: "Sigh... Ok, I'll setup it for you..."

So before today, I'd never used GoDaddy before. Not even once. My supervisor walks in and happily informs me that I'm going to be adding photos to a website that she does editing for. Okay, fine, that's stupidly easy. What I did not realize, however, is that this entire website had been built using GoDaddy's site builder, and if you're not familiar with it, thank whatever gods you worship that you've dodged that bullet. I hardly want to go wandering around somebody else's web hosting, so I search about for a bit praying that there's SOME semblance of a normal text editor someplace, because text editors make me happy and all, and find very little on the regular site. Already not thrilled. So I figure, how bad is this site editor? Really, how bad can it possibly be?
Oh, you poor misguided son of a -
Anyway, I go in and look at the site. Slideshows everywhere, nothing is aligned correctly, it's a web designer's nightmare. Thankfully, I'm not a web designer, so I press on and reorganize a little bit. I try slapping a new slideshow on their, and discover that unlike the way it SHOULD work, elements do not move to allow for other elements, they just sit there and let you throw things on top of them. I stare at my neatly-stacked slideshows for a second in utter disbelief, knowing but not really accepting that I'm going to need to take every last one of those slideshow elements and slide those little so-and-so's down by hand. ....why? Who designed this? Who decided that was a good idea? I do some Googling to see if there's anything out there to make this less horrid, and lo and behold I find a GoDaddy page about their FTP file manager! It's under web/classic hosting, which apparently means it's deprecated because I spent the next ten minutes hunting around for the "web hosting" link those chicken-lickers were so proud of and it's nowhere to be found.
Alright, so they want to do this the hard way.
At this point I'm screaming internally and PRAYING that I'm just being stupid and not seeing anything to make it easi-
No, not even easier. Just less stupid. This website builder makes no sense. It's like hiring a contractor to build a bridge and handing him a box of Legos and a banana.
So I do more googling and find instructions on getting to the file manager. FINALLY. The first step is find "Hosting" under "My Products." I rush over to My Products joyfully, hoping I can get this stupid website up and running reasonably quickly, and...!
There's no hosting tab.
No button.
Not even a little hard-to-see link. At this point my brain is screaming. WHY would you give me a website builder but absolutely no way to actually write the website? Do people actually use this thing? I mean, I get it if they want to make it nice and accessible for people to make websites without overwhelming them with HTML but if they know how to edit the website and they don't want your help, why would you force me in to this? Why? Then it occurred to me that maybe the organization just hasn't ever had a web developer in it, ever, or at least not one who was willing to help out with the website, so they purposefully signed up for hosting that deprived them of any kind of HTML editor. Then on top of all of that, I noticed that on the home page, which had been edited by someone else long before I ever looked at it, ALSO had one of these stupid slideshows that I had to reorganize by hand, and some sad, angry little man had put in one of the photos sideways. It was SIDEWAYS. Just sitting there on its side, the photo's occupants staring at me with sad eyes begging me to turn them facing up again. I sat there and stared at a badly-designed website in a questionably-designed editor. And I wondered. I wondered who put this all together, and I wondered why *I* was the one doing it, when I work for a university and the website was for some beach homeowner's association. And I wondered if this job was a task that my supervisor had agreed to do and just passed off onto an office monkey. And I wept bitter tears at the realization that I am that office monkey.

These Google/FB/etc algorithms almost know what I like. Almost. And that makes it even more infuriating...

"10 banana smoothie recipes Elon Musk would like!"
"Become a Senior Java developer in one week!"
"Read this article from a non technical journalist about the technology behind bitcoin!"
"10 tips from muscled Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos for Gym workouts!"

All of this feels like receiving a blowjob while still wearing pants.

It finally arrived c:

I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.

My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!

I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!

WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.

Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!

We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤

I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!

I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.

YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!

Switched banks, got new e-banking, unable to set up a new password.

It contains invalid characters.

IT'S A FUCKING BANK ACCOUNT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE HASHTAGS OR EVEN HAVE FUCKING SPACES IN IT IF I FEEL LIKE IT.

When I get up too early I wanna be like a Thread:

Thread.Sleep(9999);

Trying to build a mobile first application that relies on camera and geolocation data but use drupal to do it.... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS .. WTF is this shit?! ... let me nail in this screw with a banana.

!wifi
!!anger

I bought a new wlan card to fix my infuriating wifi issues. It's a TPLink Archer T6E, supports ac, and ostensibly uses Ath9k drivers. Multiple reviews said "installed, booted, and connected! So easy."

Guess what?
I've spent the past two hours trying to get it to work. No banana.

Some other reviews have them fighting with the drivers for days. Looks like that's going to be me, too. 😡

Why the fuck is wifi so fucking difficult?

So I just received this second DSP5005 DC-DC programmable power supply. Time to make an enclosure for the thing!! 3 power supplies totaling at around 1kW, and 2 variables connected to the 50V 10A one, through external banana wires (I want all of this to be modular). No biggie, take measurements for the AC-DC supplies, add in the variables on the front, and cut it out.

So, I went and did just that. Now my 500W (50V 10A) supply is a bit larger than the others, and it's got a fan. So I figured, well then probably my 24V 8.3A (200W) and 12V 15A (180W) supplies could use some cooling as well. But how am I going to achieve passive cooling without a spacing between the supplies?! So I thought of some spacer design. It had to be out of wood, and I had some 4mm MDF and some IKEA parts around. So, 4mm MDF for the plate and 8mm wood spacers from IKEA for the spacing. And some super glue to hold it all together.

Weighing my power supplies against a 1l bottle of milk, it seems like my power supplies are ~500g. Great, so the top spacer would take 500g and the bottom one 1kg + the weight of the top spacer.

I ended up building one plate with 6 spacers in it yesterday, until I got too tired. Then I placed my entire weight against it, 20kg at least. It didn't budge. Pretty good for something that's only designed to withstand a 1kg load!!

So, I made something good with only a 10x18cm piece of MDF, some garbage from IKEA, and most importantly a bit of a brain. Something that can handle 20x its designed load no problem. Manufacturers, is it really right to produce shit when I can beat your manufacturing processes big time without an assembly line?!

Yeah all these js files for one static page, hardly one or two functions are getting called.

I was making a prank app which turned to my first virus.

One day my mother told me that the programers in her work were offering to her to show them the virus and if their program dont catch it they will give me a reward. It was not catched by the program and i got the reward it was not so big but the feel was awesome

bool True = false;
bool False = true;
if (True == true)
{
False = True;
}
else
{
True = true;
False = !true;
}

if (!False == !!true && True == !false)
{
False = True;
True = (!!False)true;
}
Console.WriteLine("Banana");

Ok so I was talking to my computer science teacher earlier and he said that he would rather use vim over PHPStorm for creating a laravel project. WTF!

Normally I would be cool with it, but he has pushed faulty code to git over 8 times. I'm just done.

The brand new language - C thru
In this C language you have a lot of new statements and thats all ;)

o_O

.

.

Here's a banana just so I can get enough characters to post this rant: 🍌

Cat of the day (mine, banana for scale)

Beer that tastes like banana is a sin against humanity

java and javascript is like ban and banana

Webservice asks for parameters. We give the right parameters, gets results.

Now here's the funny part, we replace the parameters with "banana". Same results.

So no matter what parameters you pass, it returns THE SAME FUCKING RESULTS.

A recipe to make banana bread. I had to read this twice before I realized they weren't talking about a member of the quality assurance team.

Code monkey see bad code.
Code monkey don’t say anything.
Nobody ask code monkey.
Linter see bad code too.
Nobody pay attention to linter.
Code monkey get more bananas on Thursday.
Code monkey grateful for bananas.
Maybe one day, code monkey make banana tree.

Look here Mr Senior Tech if you don’t know 100% what you’re doing, don’t fucking touch the goddamn firewall with your fucking sausage fingers and you overblown call center team lead. I mean you need to have the confidence you would have if you were eating a banana and some one told you it was a poisonous berry, you’d laugh and eat it anyway, cause it’s obviously a banana. That’s the kind of confidence you need to have when fucking with the entire goddamn network configurations. I just went thru a 7 hour shit show because you THOUGHT you knew what you were doing. Not a damn thing was broken there. One service needed a hole in the firewall and you fucked all this beyond an easy fix. Now I’ll admit I don’t have that much confidence working with the firewall, that’s why I would fucking cal one of the companies that set it up even though we don’t necessarily have a support contract, it would have cost a lot damn less to have them work on it than for the whole company to be down and for me to have to stress over every fucking thing going (or not going) on.

Front-end hacking is pure dog shite.
Some banana fuckers changed a forms plugin for PukePress some odd years ago and now I am responsible, after installing 2 major releases, to make it behave and look the same as it did before.
I'd rather dangle in a noose than cleaning up their spaghettified CSS selectors and random jokeQuery code.

Whats your test/experimenting variable name?

Unlike foo,bar,baz..
Mine is banana/baba/apple 😂

There should be one day a year when random spam emails become true when you click on them.

It should be random for everyone so you never know what day it is and also happen instantly when you click on message.

World would be full of millionaires, guys with enormous penises. Everyone will eat food all the time cause you can lose all of your unnecessary weight with single click and whole internet will flood with spam emails.

Instead of scrolling trough news and social networks people would click on spam emails waiting for the day their spam will be fulfilled.

Economy would eventually collapse and most of us would be no different than monkey in some crazy experiment waiting for it’s banana.

It can be called fulfilled spam message paradox.

It would be funny alternative reality.

My co-worker had to add some small feature, and while at it, he thought it’s a good idea to “refactor” the entire repo.

Now the code is over-modularized and full of disconnected 100 line files, just for the sake of modularity.

Sometimes less is more

I googled it. I searched for banana then then banana shown in the results and then I searched for apple and and and what happened to you google?? where is apple??
Google don't know apple :D

!rant
We were finishing another sprint of our grocery shop site at school and it was time for a demo.
There we are, showing our work before the other students. Our teams have a healthy habit of always checking each other not to leave some stoopid mistakes in the final versions, so everybody always regExes and validates THE SHIT out of every input field, both in the view and on the server side. But this one team found out that sometimes it's not enough.

Like every team, they're asked to buy a negative value from their shop. The guy clicks through the process, buys exactly -1 of a banana. He clicks the button to purchase and the site returned "Added banana to the cart!" and we're like "haha n00bz". But someone asked them to show the cart and everyone stopped immediately.

There were 9999 bananas in the cart.

Turns out the member responsible for purchase validation made it add 10000 if the quantity of a bought product was negative.
To this day I can't understand why he did that. xD

Rant on me myself.

After being a professional coder (ie having a bachelor degree) for 11 years now, I finally have a decent and reasonable backup.

I use borg to backup to my raid 1, which is local, in my corridor near the ceiling. I use a Intel NUC with two external USB3 HDDs attatched. As I already had data on them, I went for a btrfs raid 1.

The second level of my backup solution is my brother. It's 50km to his flat. He's got a banana pi with my third HDD attached. I connect to his pi via VPN. The VPN is done via an AVM Fritz! Box. No ads, I just like those boxes (modem and router).
The backup is encrypted, of course.

Now, after ten years, I finally got a decent backup solution. Wow. This feels great! 😎

A year of analysis and """agile""" development.

And now they changed the name of the main domain entity.

It's like to pass from a software for banana management to apple management.

THE ENTIRE CODE IS FULL OF THE "BANANA" KEYWORD, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

I managed to remember some old Bitwarden (password manager service, I remember that linuxxx recommended me this one a looong time ago) credentials, so I logged in. I found an old devRant account - not my first though (I deleted it).

I've been a random lurker all this time (this is the first dev community I've been and I'm not planning to leave it until it dies), and it's good to login just to give my 2 cents.

I love you all. Seriously. I love you all with every single bit of my heart (get it?), impartially. Thanks for existing.

Here's an interrupted "caramelCase posted a new rant!"; it's actually longer but a wild guy ++'d my comment.

p.s: seeing my avatar, I don't use c++ anymore. I've just grew with Python haha

What NoSQL databases does devrant use to store content?

!dev

Today's world has gone so corrupt and full of crime that its almost impossible to be identified as honest/right, even if you are one. We thought that power of Internet would help identify the correct things but on the contrary, the internet is being used for declaring the wrong as right.

Thanks to sheer volume of duplicate data and social media's unverified content, we can no longer trust anything. Plus the effect of government and powerful people is so much that any big company you believe in would be forced to do whatever these big guns want.

Today if government wants to declare that "banana is a god fruit", they will simply generate enough news articles, social media tweets and rumours to do so. They know they can't proof it, but they can generate enough resources to change enough mindsets that what they are saying is not right but not completely wrong.
Even GitHub, which i once believed to have the ultimate method of preserving the truth is no longer a real thing. US govt has shown enough power to tell the world, that if we don't like something, then not even github is strong enough to preserve it

Our Indian government is also no less. Yesterday i heard the news that Gujrat government is slowly replacing the junior school's history syllabus to remove important historical events and replace them with chapters on hindu supremacy.

Currently i am not sure if its a real news but WHAT THE FUCK!?! They are going to erase the history? If the new generation gets the biased version of history, won't they grow up hating a particular commodity?
And forget the new generation, what about our generation? Did the books i read on history were also biased? Is this all political agenda why i like a particular commodity and hate the others? And how can i know if the facts i read are correct and truth? Who is the person verifying them and on what grounds is his decision correct?

Clearly no one can answer that because at the end, its highly opinionated.
If a newspaper A says "this guy is good" and newspaper B says "this guy is bad" , then after a 100 years, we would only believe the newspaper whose fossil remains in the museum and not the one which people believed to be correct 100 years ago.

And this is the problem. Corrupt people are generating enough content to make sure the biased version of history remains preserved while the original version gets lost with time.

I sometimes think that i should be buying a server deep below some glacier in the Antarctic ocean , hosting the real version of history. But there is no guarantee that government won't be tracing it back or make attempts to down

None...

My work desk is ordered chaos. It's an unspectacular white desk.

To the left paper for taking notices... And a collection of notes highly unordered.

In the top left corner of the desk the router.

Middle (front to back): Color sorted post it's with my backlog and all the stuff that I need to keep track off.

Keyboard, Monitor

Right (front to back): mailboxthingy, post it block, utensilo (made of bamboo)

That's the working desk. Like the "shining knight in armor"....

Next to the working desk is the play desk, a large kitchen table with a 5mm thick black rubber (keep your dirty thoughts for yourself ;)) as insulation and scratch prevention.

There is usually utter chaos.

Banana PI R2, test router, old hardware, hardware storage cabinet, screw and other small part cabinet....

And to the right is a large chest of drawers where I cram everything in that doesn't belong anywhere.

I'm pretty boring I guess.

Except you are kinky for old hardware and lots of weird stuff noone uses nowadays...

Then you're in heaven I guess.

Happy birthday devRant

javascript be like :
"b" + "a" + +"a" + "a"; // -> 'baNaNa'

I hope that when I wake up in the morning, the racket code I just wrote from midnight to 3am makes as much sense to me as it does at the time of writing.

Banana Language always seems to flow easier when exhausted.

Finally accepted as telematics lab. assistant

Had to go to 30 years old initiation tradition by drinking 'The Drink' before getting lab. full access

Full Recipe: Mineral water, instant coffee, vanilla milk, cola, banana, pineapple, apple, melons, cup ramen, peanuts, snickers, m&m, potato chips, nata de coco.

Step:
1. Shove it all to blender
2. Blend
3. Bon Appetit

I'm genuinely contemplating changing my career to an IT support role from my current web dev endeavors.

I have become rather disinterested for quite some time with web development, I've been working with React, Angular, the regular Wordpress stuff with the theme building/modifying, headless instances, plugin development and whatnot and all of these have become more of a chore than anything else.

I'm leaning towards an IT support role as I genuinely have more interest in a user support/infrastructure support role than a developer role, the question is, is it doable ?. I know my way around Windows and Linux Servers, know LDAP, Active Directory, BASH, Powershell, Networking, can do cabling and whatnot but I don't have the experience to show off those.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated

Mac_monkeys, taking the best part of life Linux and turning it into. banana

Where do you learn to make banana splits? At sundae school.

Pharmacy... Preorder-mail got stuck in spam due to weird receiver passphrases so they didn't actually order it (it was "banana" followed by an steadily incrementing number). You wouldn't believe their faces after they saw my mail.

It took the pharmacy exactly ONE HOUR to get that medicine after I went up getting them to know that they missed an order. They express ordered it after I guess I signaled the urgency...
That's one of the pretty great things in Germany. If you need medicine and if you're in a medium populated area, you could get it within hours, or at least in 1/2 day if they not express the order and you order over their website.

But this is attacked due to European trade deals. Online pharmacy shops (the ones without local pharmacies) simply trade in from cheaper areas in Europe and can sell much cheaper. Also because they aren't committed to cross finance local hospital medicine delivery which then let's the health insurance raise their prices.
But due to the law for the minimum wage and therefore steadily decreasing wages the online-only pharmacies get more and more of the market cap....
Such problems aren't easy to fix...

Is it me or is that the Meta logo looks a lot more like a peeled banana?

The problem with Java errors is you ask for the error of a banana and you get the stack trace of the past 100M years of evolution.

So when installing an rpm there is a file collision check. When you add a file to an rpm package with cmake / cpack it unfortunately adds parent directories your file goes into, which will give you conflicts with other packages. But well you have that beautiful feature to exclude directories from being added:
CPACK_RPM_EXCLUDE_FROM_AUTO_FILELIST_ADDITION
Now somehow it failed. Turned out it would not work if my path ended with a backslash. Brush my banana! Like "/etc/sysctl.d" is a different animal than "/etc/systclt.d/". - But at least that's nothing against the strangeness of the "mv" command in those respects.

Me VS Banana Pi: day one
Spent 5 hours compiling an OpenWRT image and then I realized it's not what I want. Tomorrow it will be Armbian turn.

: )

JavaScript is weird

>>('b' + 'a' + + 'a' + 'a').toLowerCase( )
>> "banana"

🤔🤔🤔

So my stomach got fucked up after a mix of junk food, drinks and shit. Even after vomiting continued to burn and hurt. Googled and found out banana's are usually good for acidic and fucked up stomachs.
Now I'm filling my face with bananas
In hopes I'm not one of the one percent of people that acidic refluxes worsen with banana.

Where do you learn to make banana splits? At sundae school.

God this has to stop
I’m afflicted… to real breakfast foods lol

Need to go back to wegmans bagels and cream cheese and Icelandic yogourt and a banana !

My boss, Business people call dev code monkey bec they act as money is shown, like monkey likes banana! Dances Which is kinda wired like what they think we are (felt like shit)

Anyone have experience with non ARM Single board computers like the LattePanda for a price of around 80$ - 100$? The Board should be a server with a bit more power but it should save electricity. We have already six RPi and two Banana Pis...

I blended mangos, banana and strawberry with condensed milk. I didn’t know what I was expecting but this taste isn’t it.