I went to Paris for my first interview (that was 1989) for a job of Unix kernel developer. All dressed up. I step out of the elevator and see a young punk with scruffy hair and different colour shoes. I reckon he must be the pizza delivery guy. I ask him "dude, can you please point me to the CEO's office for interview". He said "sure, follow me man, I'll show you". We arrive at a desk, he sat down in the big chair and looks at me with a big smile and says "Ok dude, here we are. I am the CEO. Now let's see how good you are!"
I got the job. And 26 years latet, last week, amazing coincidence: I met him again at a trade show in Paris ... with the same coloured shoes. How cool is that!!!

I fucked up hard for the first time yesterday at work.

Came in and expected a huge speech from the bossman.

He called me to his office:

Explained me where I went wrong and what I should do next time with a big smile on his face!

New kid came to me in my break (while I was playing LoL) saying I should start coding (he had no clue what my role within the company is).
Said that if I won't get a career in league, I could just (as if it's done in a few minutes) learn coding and make a website with thousands of users (as if that is just done like 1 2 3).
Then with a big grin on his face he proceeded to say "if you ever have some issues with making websites, I could just come to him and he can teach me the basics of Javascript, HTML, CSS and PHP".
So I said: "and who are you?"
He told me his name and what he is going to do within the company.
So I said with a big grin on my face: "Ah, so you're the new kid the boss told me about, nice to meet you, from today on, I'll be your Senior."
I then saw his big grin disappear
then with a big smile on my face I proceeded to say: "If you ever have some issues, please come to see me and I'll be happy to teach you the basics of Javascript, HTML, PHP and CSS"

Then he walked away :^)

!geek girlfriend

Me and my partner are in the car driving. We drive by a young girl who is on her scooter. I look at my gf and ask,

Me: do you sometimes have some weird thoughts in mind (and nothing relating to sex her just so you know).

Her: well what do you mean?

Me: well i se that person scootering on the sidewalk and i imagine screaming at her like a lunatic “GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD PUNK” (which the little girl clearly isn't).

She laughs.

Her: yeah，i do too but it's more scientific， like sometimes i wonder how many times some one would flip. In the air if i hit them with the car or how long would it take some one to reach the ground if i pushed them off the balcony.

....

Me: silence...

Skin goes white

Her: looks at me with a big smile!!!

Im not sure if this is good or bad ;)

Me - "Has anyone changed the password on the print computer"
Him - "It's the same one."
Me - "Carrots99?"
Him - "Yeah, what's the message that comes up?
Me - "Password is incorrect."

The dumbest conversation I've ever had in my fucking life. You little shit, I know you changed the password just to fuck with people. You've been reading too many books on elevating yourself, tried to be important for something. It means fuck all if you can't remember what you changed it to. So you held up two hours of my work, not to mention everyone else, because you can't help but stick your beak in shit. You dont think people can't see what youre doing? Watching you scurry over to the computer with a big smile, only a to fuck off silent as a mouse not to be seen mumbling some shit about a system administrator. Yeah you forgot it you prick.

Stop sucking up to the boss, and commanding people on what to do, when you're as junior as junior gets. Don't change our fucking passwords, just so you can have the whole team approach you the next day asking for you, then not remember them. You cunt.

The Company I work for has a new Website.
Me: opens inspector, changed an elements position.
Boss: "Stop! We paid so much for this you'll destroy everything."
Me: reload page, smile at him.

The 1st of July, it'll be a year ago since my father passed away.

I made him a promise as he explicitly told me; "Please grow our company, I wouldn't have put you in the CTO position if you sucked at what you do" - so I said I would keep pushing the boundaries.

As per now we've officially broken our set target. Our revenue thus far in 6 months of time has reached to last years total revenue. I take great comfort in knowing that he would have been god dang proud.

July the 1st will be a day with both a smile and a tear. Had to get this off my chest!

Colleague: OOP is so elegant, isn't it? *Stares at me with a greedy smile*

Me: ?

Colleague: look how classy it gets!

Kms

Someone's outlook wasn't connecting to a mail server.

Fair enough, colleague started debugging in the morning!

It worked fine on any client on linux/mac.

After a while the swearing started to come, for some reason outlook thought that the url used for incoming/outcoming email was offline, worked on any other system.

We all left him alone for the rest of the day.

At the end I walked to his desk aan went:
Me: hey man is it working already? *very sweet smile*
Him: *gives a death stare* fucking die 😡

😆😅

This is the expected Binary ++ post from me :P

So, today I go to devRant and see 1's and 0's as my ++'s. I assume it might be a bug, but nope. Turns out it's one of the neat ways of meeting April Fools :)

Thanks to whoever had the idea. It genuinely made me smile.

This put the first smile on my face this morning ...

!rant

You know those dudes that dress up spiffy and try to sell you cable providers for tv and shit. Well, i normally stream everything from my computers and do not really have any need for actual tv, my flatscreen is mostly used for my ps4 or switch and das it.

So these guys stop me at walmart and start trying to sell me this provider, i normally listen and give everyone a chance since they b only doing their job. Afterwards I tell them that i use one of those roku or amazon sticks and that I am fine with it. Well one of them insists in that those are not good since **fake made up technical shit** and that unless I am a programmer I would not know how to work around them.

I smile. Hehe.....hehe.....muahahahaha and tell them that I do not worry about such things since I am a software engineer. My wife passes by and confirms "yup, computer scientist, spends his days thinkering with shit"

One of them looks at the other and says "fuck it dude we lost"

Lol, gracious in the face of defeat.

You know what's funny?

Being called Jason.

Developers when talking about APIs and similar stuff: "So if you connect to our API you can get XML or JSON-" <pause>
<looks at me with a smirk like "haha! JSON/JASON LOL!">
<I gently smile like saying "yes. yes. I know. Thank you">

Sigh

!rant
A few years back, when my youngest cousin was about 7 years old, she asked me the most innocent question ever.

She said, "what's the internet?"
I answered, "it is where you can find anything that came from other people".

"Wanna see baby tigers?" I added then she nodded.

I Google searched 'tiger cubs' and showed the image results to her. She beamed a very big smile and said "let's look for another one!" So we did search for a few animal photos and I saw how happy she was!

Now she's a gamer who loves minecraft, Pewdiepie, and FPS games! :)

*my friends wanted to learn how to use linux*
My friend: "So, how do you edit this file ?"
Me: "Use Vim" *sadistic smile*

Learning soft skills.

I'm about as direct with coworkers and managers as I am on devRant. And I still think being painfully direct is often better than playing the heavily politicized office game of thrones.

But sometimes it's better to say:

"CTO, I think we need your skills to build bridges to other departments and manage recruitment. You're the only one who understands both technology and people, so drop your developer role and become our ambassador"

Instead of:

"Dear CTO, your code makes my eyes bleed. Your CS degree was a fucking waste of tax money, and it's quite clear that cheap college beer washed out all of your reasoning skills. We should fill the space you're taking up with a beanbag chair, because you're providing negative value to the company. How many investor cocks did you have to deep throat to get where you are?"

Now, I just pick option one, smile politely, and tell him we need to increase department budget as indemnification for having to work with a retard like him. Uh I mean... "to get developer salaries up to a competitive level so we can retain knowledge"

Ahahaha I don't know if I cry or laugh..

I slept 1 hour today, woke up, left the kid at school came back home planning on sleeping another 2 hours and coming to work.

Took a shower and remembered I had an important meeting by 8:30 am and it was already 8:10 ... Ran like fucking crazy , ate an orange for breakfast ran like a lunatic in traffic just to arrive at work by 8:34 and be told the meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon...

Had to smile to who rescheduled the meeting right now writing this rant :)

Now... Who the fuck sends an email at 00:02 to reschedule a fucking meeting??

Fuck.

Make software that people use with a smile

Once I had to clone a repo and it was taking too long...

Went to gitlab to find out in the most wtf way that from 1mb it was 600mb+ now...

One of our new juniors pushed 600mb+ of a database backup to gitlab...

I came to her with a smile and asked in a jokingly manner (after cursing her for about half an hour in my head):

"lol, did you really not notice it took a fucking long time to upload it?"

The fucker was ashamed but just said : no, I think I pushed it and went home.

I constantly reminded her of it for the couple months...

Never done it again :)

Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:

random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*everyone laughing*
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*

---- Startup RantLife ----

A senior developer joined the team, let's name him Bob, and this guy is really good no doubts about that.
He made suggestions, some improvements, but Bob is always waving his hands and says out loud that some part of the code base is really really bad.
I kept quiet until one day I had to pair with Bob to check a feature. Guess what happened, as usual, Bob clenched his fist and start pointing that this code is super ugly.
So let's check the history of changes and boom, Bob was the main writer.
That moment, I was completely silent, trying not to smile as Bob came up with an excuse, he never admits that he is wrong, now he needs a scapegoat and he starts blaming the process, the planning...
I believe that being humble and saying sorry is a quality that it requires time to develop.
So don't be like Bob, please :)

I saw a "fuck off" intel inside sticker today. It made me smile.

You know you have a tabs problem when Google gives you a smile.

Just for a smile. Scroll on... :-)

This coffee is looking at me funny...

This is the kind of comments that helps you to smile while you're getting a headache trying to fix your bugs :D

My PM: I don't like when you get up and help out other colleagues with their problems on their computer. You're not at their service.
Me: okay, I'll refrain from doing so.

The next day, I arrive 5 minutes before 8, I get myself a coffee, talk with a few colleagues, and:
PM: Hey, can you please come and help me review this email?
Me: ** fuck it, I still have 2 minutes ** Yeah I'm coming
PM: Now please.
Me: ...

Also my PM, 5 minutes later: Hey I don't manage to print my document, can you help me?
Me: ...

10 minutes later, I get a call:
PM: did you call XY about ZX?
Me: Yep, sent you a mail about it 2 minutes ago
PM: Really? I don't see it
Me: I sent it.
PM: Can you send it again?
Me: ...

Later that day:
PM: Hey, what are you up to?
Me: Well, I'm working on our improved websi-
PM: Can you please create a new campaign on Mailchimp? We're all under water here and a bit of cooperation from you would be great
Me: ** huh? ** erm, ok?
PM: Do it now
Me: Yeah yeah, don't worry. ** click ** here, done. Now, where was I...

----- PM on holidays

Other colleague from another department: Hey Phlisg! I have a small problem on our platform, can you help me?
Me: ** writes a script to help her out **
Her: awesome, thank you!!
Her own PM, 5 minutes later: Hey! Thank you very much for your help, it helps us out a real lot, very much appreciated :)

I lost my smile at work since the beginning of the year, but that little help I gave my colleague just gave my smile back to me :D

These green ticks always make me smile :)

One day I'll do this with an evil smile on my face 😈

Saw this online, had to giggle:

"I dropped my laptop off the boat. It’s a Dell, rolling in the deep"

So I ssh into a server at work and this welcome message made me smile 😊

after doing all the paperwork and packing his shit, he shaked hands with his now ex-boss, and with a smile, and after their hands are no longer touching, he told him with a really calm voice to go fuck himself.

New girl at work: "I like using internet explorer"

Me: "F youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!".....In my head, but breath out, smile and say "hmm k"

Today my 500 error page showed up.. I forgot I had some fun in there, made me smile. Thank you past self :)

Best current career choice:
Quit to become a Freelancer.

OH BOY did I sleep bad directly after that decision - no contracts, no sales running.

Oh BOY do I now 2 days later sleep like a dam relaxed, happy baby :) - My network for the win!

The days before handing in my resignation I really looked forward to just leaving, but the actual task again was scary. Why? Cause until then future for me was bound to income, job=stable income = happy me, happy wife, happy child.

Now? Just 4 days later, If all goes to plan I'm already overbooked twice. Truth told!: Couldn't have done it without the network that I built over the years where I was employed. Let's see how this works out :)

I stand up with a huge smile each morning: Just a great feeling!

Every time you feel anger, instead of explosion you write a new rant and make people smile.

=> devRant is behaviouristic therapy.

Interviewer: Do you mastering PB? Because this company always use PB.
Me: I good on it.
Int: Oh well you're accept here, welcome.
Me: Thanks.
...
*the first day I joined the company*
Lead. Programmer: Today you will code Java.
Me: Okay sir.
...
Then I ask what the Interviewer's "PB" means, and I got the answer is Power Builder. I think it's the name of the game I always play, Point Blank.
...
And I smile, because of my fool, I was accepted to the company.
....
*sorry in my bad English*

That moment when you wake up from a dream with a smile on your face, because you met the girl of your life there.
But then, few minutes later, you realize that it was just a dream. And to that comes that, I can barely remember anything about her.

As usual finished the task just an hour before demo meeting. That hour is for transportation. Obviously I didn't test nor rehearse.

As usual, in to 2 mins of demo and greeted by error page.

As usual
1) stay the fuck calm
2) this features was already demo-ed and fixed and went fine few weeks ago
3) what the fuck happen now
4) stay the fuck calm, smile.
5) "ah please give me one minute, I forgot to clean up some stuff while working on new features"
6) shit shit. read the error message and log
7) oh I did refactor some files last week. Reorganized the files and folders for better structure and easier understanding. Thought I corrected every occurrences. Obviously I missed few.
8) ssh to the server while screen is still showing on projector
9) dig into the file quick
10) stay the fuck calm
11) fix
12) refresh
13) sorry all good, so I was saying ....

Well finally it's done for today and going back to office. After all it went ok. 👌

Him: everything is hackable, you know
Me: oh well, enlighten me with an example.
Him: well take for example whatsapp, which was bought by facebook, so if Facebook is hackable, then why not WhatsApp
Me: ok, so tell me how do you hack Facebook ?
Him: just like how you hack WhatsApp.
Me: *digs in the Bosch toolkit to find and drilling machine* How about I drill some knowledge into you? *evil jack nicholson (the shining) smile*

>boss comes into the office
>bright smile on his face
>fear.png
>
>"we are using php for this project"
>
>"no"

Don't want to break your commit streak on Github.
So you change one line and :-
git add .
git commit -m "Minor Tweak"
git push

VOILA ! the box is green for today . *Evil Smile*

When ever someone asks me to fix their PC I ask them to sit down next to me so I can show them how I did it. First thing I do is open up Google search the problem then look them dead in the eye and smile 😂😂😂. I Then proceed to implement the fix from the first page of results. I don't get many repeat requests... I'm Such a passive cunt.😂😂😂

Sometimes it works... :)

When you're too sick to code but devRant makes you smile at least...

It is with a heavy heart that I said aufwiedersehen to my mom last night. She passed peacefully in her sleep, and is now resting in the fields and forests of heaven. She was born in 1932 in Hamburg, Germany, and at age 7 the world around her exploded into one of the most horrific wars that Europe or the world had seen up to that time. By the time it was over, she was thirteen, and had spent many of her formative years witnessing how low humanity can get in the treatement of fellow humans. She survived the post-war years, and came to the US in the late 1950's, and met my dad while in nursing school. She had four chidren, Tim, Chris, Tanya, and myself. She was a doting and caring mom, who dedicated herself to raising her children. She loved to cook, loved animals, especially dogs, and love human beings in general, and had a compassionate and kind heart. There is a small, empty space in the world that she filled, but heaven is a little brighter with her smile and her laughter. I miss you mom, but I know I will see you again some day. Aufwiedersehen, lieber Mutti! Wir sehen uns bald.

Just a Ui Designer guy trying to fit in :) excuse the creepy smile

Generally I don't discuss work with family as they just smile and nod.

I start by saying I'm a front end web developer, then simplify to I code websites, then I have to simplify again to say I make the bit you look at.

So now I just say I'm in IT.

Shopping for computers is so fun and relaxing than shopping for makeup.

So here's the scenario...
I walked into a makeup store and I was looking for lipstick. I was wearing my devRant shirt, jeans, and a laptop backpack. A sales lady approached me and just stared. She didn't even ask what I was looking for. The way she looked at me made me feel that I don't belong there. She should've just left me alone than giving a judgemental look. I got intimidated so I looked at her and gave the biggest smile, then fleed. I panicked. I salute those female developers who doesn't have problems shopping for girly stuff!

For the record, my sister encouraged me to wear a little makeup so that I don't look stressed. That made me decide to go to that makeup store. I'd rather order online now.

It's so hard to not be girly by nature.

The world needs 'User Error Codes'. At the very least it will give IT Support Techs a smile, nice to spread the love:

16001 - Incompatible User : replace user
16005 - User Deleted Content : laugh at user
16404 - User Not Found : check pub

Fuckity fuck.

It's weekend.

To all you abusive, micromanaging arseholes… Light a magnesium torch up in your arse and make us smile.

To all you motherfucking dumb cunts who can play 8 hours instead of working, but are unable to cope with the simple task of documentation:

Resign and stay away from civilization as far as you can. Alternative: Self castration and removal from the gene pool

To all the narcisstic workaholics who think everyone must be available everytime... Hop into a meat grinder, it's nice and cozy - I've been told.

It's weekend and I've finished everything. First time in half a year that I can return to a normal weekend schedule.

Dobby is free. And Dobby will stuff a sock so far up your arse that you can lick it clean if you disturb dobby.

:) *happy smile*

I applied for PHP Developer

Interviewer: What is interface?
Me: it is class with unimplemented methods?
Interviewer: But why we use it?
Me: it acts as a contract so you can assure that
on implementing interface developer will follow
the same architecture.
Interviewer: that's okay but why is the need for an interface at first place?

I was irritated with the interview process as he was smirking
every time I answered.

Me: I never get a chance to do that kind of research. Truth is
even if you hire me your manager will declare the unrealistic deadline and won't care if I comment the code or know why we really need to implement an interface.

After he did not smile and I left the chair.

Wk92 reminds me of the time when our professor spent 45 minutes talking about the difference between absolute and relative URLs.
45 FUCKING MINUTES!!
I was about to just pack up in and leave mid-class because I couldn't take it anymore. But he noticed, looked at me, then continued talking with the most annoying smug smile on his face.
He knew that if I got another warning, he could get me almost kicked out.
I just sat in the back, headphones in, slowly dying.
And he just smiled...

My worst experience is, that I was fired after the third week in a new job. I worked then for a really small company.

My supervisor didn't like me and just wanted me out.

He asked for feedback and new ideas. I provided good reviews.

I even gave the company really good ideas, didn't get any credits for it, but they have implemented them now. Never got any credit for it.

I can look back and say that my supervisor then was a douche and wanted to kill off a young guy with a bit more technical knowledge and a vision.

For me it's in the past...

Now I got a way better job at a really gigantic company, better pay, much better work with better working times, a very friendly and helpful team, which appreciate my feedback and effort.

Sometimes it needs to get worse, to have later something better.

Now I can enjoy my new job and go everyday with a smile in my face :)

Everyone knows it. It keeps making me smile :-)

Interviewer: Do you have any experience with debuggers?
Me: *Slowly cracking a smile*
Me:

It always gives me a smile when my boss (ceo, no technician) calls me and says "let's do some software architecture together!". He has no idea what this means, but he likes the term. Sometimes, this call just means "let's have a beer together"

I wish my code could smile back at me and tell me I'm doing a good job

** interview call**
HR: we are recruiting flutter developers.
me: ok...I am interested
HR: how many years of experience are you having with flutter ? we are looking for someone with a minimum of 3 yrs.
me: can you tell me when was flutter launched? (with a lame smile)
HR: ok thank you for your time. 🙂

How to check devrant in the office.

Open devrant
Read rants
Smile to yourself
Refresh devrant
**no new rant
keep phone away for few seconds
Open dev rant again

When my software or hardware makes people smile.

Lots of stress and strain the last months private and at work.
Headache all the days and no time to get back to my self. Programming starts to get tedious.

Now changing my life completely.
Broke up with my girlfriend and started looking for a new work - finally got a new contract today.
Dismissal coming on Monday.
3 months to go to get a enjoyable life.

PS: lurking some months and finally created an account. Thanks for all the rants which let me smile!

My little daughter came to me all excited, saying "Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in June!"
"Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me?" I said. She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers.
It's now three hours later, police have joined in and she still won't say where she got them.

Good morning guys,
Have a nice day with your task today.

Let's smile and be positive you will feel better and more productive ^^

"You Can Do It!"

Never before I have shared my feelings with all great, kind developers. I always wanted to be the healthy, active & passionate member of this family...but never know what to say!!
Made an account earlier as well .. but thought I am not ready I always had some lame excuses so never shared anything before.

I am doing a fresh start now , able to convince myself to share something..

Hi !! to all the developers who are making this family truly amazing and fantastic :)

TL;TR

My mum just came to me asking me why the mouse is not working ...like I'm GOD of electronics :( (I'm just a simple dev) I simply though that the battery is dead because it's old. Soooooo.....
I showed her how to open it and how to change the battery. After 5 min she came back with a new battery and the same mouse asking me to fix it for her....

In my mind I literally snapped my brain was bleeding and exploding at the same time.

I just cringed a fake smile and changed the battery in front of her very slowly. I sure she won't remember how to do it next time.

At the end of the story I can't talk back or be angry to my parents I have to much respect for them. They though me everything from how to poop, speak, dress, eat and so on.

Be kind to your parents.

One of those things that put a smile on my face happened today.

I (like many devs) am fond of Linux. So I use Linux on everything.

I'm currently doing an internship abroad in Finland(Linus Torvald's country!) for my college.

So there is this Finnish student who uses Linux. And after a while he asked what I was using so I told him that I'm running linux(arch+i3 like all the cool kids).

So one day he was like; But can you game on Linux?
I was like, yeah sure, might not work as well as Windows but some games run native and some can be emulated through wine. He was like; Hmm maybe I'll try it out.

So he installed Linux mint on his laptop and came to work. I was rather proud (even though he installed the bastard child of Debian and Ubuntu).

So far I've helped him set up streaming games from his pc to Linux and port forwarding.

But then came the big boy. Since I always try to teach him some stuff since they don't teach him a lot at his school.

He asked me if I could help him set up a plex streaming server on Linux.

So we took an old computer and installed Ubuntu Server(Lot's of information for it).

Installed and configured plex server, qtbittorrent-knox and all kind of goodies.

I started showing him how to use ssh, how the rights system works, etc.

It broke my heart a little that he want to be able to teamviewer in it.(since it's running openSSH daemon)

So he installed Ubuntu's desktop ontop of it as well as teamviewer.

It ran slow as hell because the PC has an old crummy core2duo and ddr2 2gb of ram. It chokes when multitasking.

So seeing that as well as telling him everything that can be done with a GUI can be done in CLI.

I saw the lightbulb lighting up. He gets it now. He understand the power of Linux.

That just made me smile all the way home.

Scenario 1:
Me: *cover both ears with headphones, start listening to vicious metal, look angry, busy and determined*
Co-workers: "Oh hey! I need to understand ____"
Me: "Fuuuuu..."

Scenario 2:
Me: *place headphones on one ear, listen to gentle, approachable music at low volume with smile on face*
Co-workers: *crickets for hours*
Me: Fucking seriously? *commence Scenario 1*

Local time: 10:45 AM

I get a call from a customer. "My computer isn't working," she says. "I can't get to Google."

"What does it say?" Ideas swirl through my mind as I ask the question. I've seen this problem before.

"'Your connection is not private,'" says she. "I just want to buy a program."

I instantly know what the problem is.

"What time does your computer say it is?" I say it calmly, almost with a knowing smile. Yes, this has to be the issue.

"Um... 1:40," she says, a drip of confusion in her voice.

"That's your problem," I say. "Just fix that and you'll be good to go."

The problem was resolved and all was good.

Let's see...
It made me anti social. It got me thinking in a very logical way, I can't connect with people.
I'd spend a lot of time (and still do) coding that I didn't make many friends and made me have social anxiety.

Nobody respects what I do or even understand it.

The one girl I would've happily fucking died in the most brutal way for with a smile on my face, wasn't interested at all... I was a geek to her and my lifestyle wasn't compatible with hers.... I wasn't good enough...

I am very self aware of my shortcomings and working towards that... But generally, I'm too fucking late to dating and all that.

Programming put me in a disadvantage in dating and social life.

Boss came in with new project:
boss shows me the design
me: it's a wordpress website ?
boss: client wants it with prestashop
me: but the brief is for an ecommerce website with 2 categories and a blog, wordpress with woocommerce and a blog should be enought
boss: no, client wants it with prestashop

oh I forgot, client wants it in a shared hosting server, where I can't add php extensions

started the project, fucked my weekend with anxiety and depression, and then products list came in ... 15 product

me: ok, I need to get the fuck out quick

I quit, I sleep at night, I smile with my kids ...

Food and computers.

Sorry for the fat people as well but i think those is legit.

I am sitting next to this friend of mine in class. She is a bit big. Anyhow.

She opens her laptop and i see her screen. Its dirty. But by dirty i mean fucking dirty. Like brow transparent circle like things all over.

I`m like: “shiiiet， whats that on your screen”.

She: “i am not really sure”.

2 days layer in another class we sit together again and she looks at me with a smile.

She: “look my screen is clean. It was dirty because sometimes o sit in bed and eat chicken then type on my keyboard，so when i close my computer the keys touch the screen and voiiiila!”

Me: “..... Wow”

She was quite proud she had elucidated the problem and did not really understand the meaning of my wow.

I'm turning 30 soon. Is it still ok to smile a bit when someone mistypes public as pubic?

While testing on IE11 today I noticed a smiley face in the upper left corner that brings up a context menu with the options "Send a smile" and "Send a frown".

Turns out that is how you send browser feedback on IE11, the frown being the ability to report a site, and the smile to give positive feedback on the browser.

Turns out you can't send negative feedback for the browser, so I sent positive feedback. What did it say?

"What did you like?"
- How fast google chrome downloaded.

Getting stars on Github, makes me smile every time!

I will have to agree, this does put a smile on my face.

Frack! I just found out I have to video record a friend's wedding. Why? Apparently because I'm a developer I suddenly know all things electronic and interacting with humans must be something I enjoy. I do not. Darn my wife and her persuasive sexual superpowers.
Me: "But...but...they are your friends, not mine."
Wife: "If you do this, someone else might have a good wedding night"
Me: *sigh* "What time do I need to be there?"

The family doesn't have much money and can't afford a professional videographer, so I understand (been there), but I'm probably going to have to smile, be nice and..ugh...socialize.

So I'm sitting on the toilet in my work, wondering how much time is left till I beat the specific impulse of a Raptor engine, and all of sudden the emergency allarms go off.

Weighting my options now: die in a fire or some kind of explosion, or go downstairs without ending *the thing*.

Dying Lannister-way or going out of the building and meeting my colleagues, with a very weird smile on my face.

...

I think I just discovered new levels of fast when it comes to using toilet paper.

It looks like I FINALLY stopped binge spending.

Two years ago I was making like $500 a month and couldn’t manage it properly so sometimes I couldn’t even afford to eat.

Now I open my banking app and it puts smile on my face.

Warning: pretty sad thoughts. If you're having a blast of a day, please skip. It's for your own good.

That feeling when you finish watching a piece of art. Be it a film or anime or anything. You're confused why you feel good, but at the same time you're hurt. You smile but the pain is still there when you reflect on the feelings and the experiences you had and you realise that none of it will ever happen again. No art or any of the past will happen again exactly the same way how you felt and experienced.

You think of the best friend you once had. Think of the girl you held hands with and time stopped. The first time you embraced her and knew you loved her more than anything, even if she didn't know your feelings. Think of your first kiss. Your first serious relationship. The last time you saw your parents, your wife, your children, family.

Now look at the perspective of the future and the past you: blissfully ignoring the certain end to all experiences until they all abruptly end reminding you of this and it hurts. Damn it hurts.

I will never be able to see me best friend again, nor will I ever be able to hold hands with her either. First time I kissed is now long gone. It's almost like you wish you were aware of how valuable and important the experience was and to not just throw it away like the last time and the several times before that. But the sad part is, you don't know which experience will make you realise how much you missed it.

But even if you do realise by placing yourself in the place of your future self, and you cherish the experience, you blame yourself because you could have either avoided it's end or did something better.

Like your break up: could it be fixed? Was it worth the little time you have on this plante?
Like your friends argument you had: could you have done better? Could you have stopped it?
Like your parent's death: could you have been a better son to your now overworked dying mum? Could you see how hard they tried even though you thought they were total dicks?

Now you realise that literally anything you do, you will have a problem with somewhere down the line. You're destined to be sad shattered and broken by every day that is tragedy.

But it's similar to art. After all, your life is a piece of art about how you died. Which is why you smile and enjoy the last second of the experience which you just had. That chest warming feeling will only last a little. You smile through pain, yet you realise its not the end.

Then again, its just my thoughts that i need to vent. Take it with a pinch of salt.

So hello guys, I just published my first article, it might not be that good or good at all, but heck it feels great.

Anyway, see ya :p

!rant

I’ve left the office! On my last day in the previous employer’s... the biggest smile on my effing face 😄

After another unemployment w/ depression I need to find a job again. Some job ads keep posting pictures of whole crew wearing the same T-shirt holding a red cloth banner with some slogan of collectivism written on it. I believe those people only smile because it's a day off from work. Guess I'm not joining them anytime soon.

Going to sleep with a newly gained 4k milestone! I'm gonna have good dreams :)

I never thought anyone would actually like me on this platform when I joined last month, but I guess I was wrong. I got along with a few awesome people, which I'm gonna list right below. Other than that, I'm glad to be a part of the community :)

The people I got along with the most:
- Linuxxx, the privacy superstar
- ewpratten, the young programming genius
- devTea, the compulsive upvoter
- Condor, the account deleter
- Alice, the pink freak
- Stuxnet, which I kinda forgot the first time I wrote this (sorry!)
- Almost everyone on here!

To be clear, those are people I enjoy talking with, they might not feel the same way. I just wanted to thank those who made me smile the most here.

At this day, July 18 in Eastern timezones, one of the globally recognized animation studios in Japan, Kyoto Animation - more known as KyoAni, has been deliberately burned by an arsonist, and has claimed 20 lives and counting.

Please give a moment of silence for the fallen in KyoAni. All they wanted was to make people smile despite the low wage situation and Japan and this happens.

How many of you Laugh at ' ; ' jokes! -_-
I believe now a days no one even smile on it.
Agree?

Y'all ever learn something and just kinda smile about it?

I finally got a decent understanding of lower level concurrency control like mutexes and sephamores (I knew about atomicity before but never knew how it was implemented) and I just got this huge grin across my face.

So, we have this ma'am at work that is the least direct person I know.

She can transform one sentence in a paragraph and the meetings/talks with her I usually end up in my "happy place" at the middle of her phrases and come back latter when she isn't finished and I'm like
"wtf is she talking about yet? Damn I went away again, shit... Just nod and smile..."

We had a meeting scheduled with her and some clients today... She missed it... MOST FUCKING PRODUCTIVE DAY EVER!

Thank you.

When the people ask about the dificulty to programming.

Me: well depend to the language that you use to build the app.

People: well in spanish?

Me: what(?), programming language, like c, java and others

People: ah, the pc say me that needs java upgrade.

Me: (smile and forget it), look is not superman behind you?.

Inspired by @Billgates

everyone around is hyped about new tech they get to use, new toys to tinker with, I can see their eyes shining when they hear "let's try and introduce kafka" - they would wiggle their tails all day long if they had ones!

And me? Well, a new potential employer got me so excited I couldn't wash a smile off my face for a few days! You know what they said? "we don't use any frameworks, we focus on clean code, solid, kiss and we write with tdd". Bare java - that's the best position I've heard of in years!

I guess I'm oldschool. But I truly believe their approach is the right one. Not trashing the code with spring [which is turning into smth what systemd is for linux/unix], hibernate and what not.

Just good old java code. Db, multithreading, request-mapping -- all plain, manual and simple.

Amazing!

What was your most ridiculous story related to IT?

Mine was when I was quite small (11yo) and wanted a graphics card (the epoch of ATI Radeon 9800), looked at the invoice to know what kind of ports I had in the pc (did not open it), then proceeded to brat to my dad to get me a new GPU

So we where in Paris, we went to a shop, vendor asked me "PCI or AGP?" and said AGP.

Paris > London > Isle of Skye roadtrip followed, then as my dad brought me back home in Switzerland, we opened my pc...

And we couldn't fit the GPU in the basic old PCI port. My Dad was pissed. He frustratedly tried fitting the GPU in the PCI slot, but nope. (He's a software engineer though)

At least the GPU had 256 mb of ram :D

Gave it to my brother 6 months later at family gathering

To this day, my Dad still thinks I cannot handle hardware, although I have successfully built 10+ pc, and still cringes with a laughing smile when I talk to him about it haha

Ah well.

Interviewer : Hmm is there any reason why you pick up nodeJS as your back end language

Me : * forming convincing reasons in attempt to impress interviewer *

Half an second later

Interviewer : let me guess, because it's JavaScript

Me : (sheepish smile) yes...

When you reach that point, that level -- a coding apex, and the universe has found you. That feeling as you code, where the ideas, the advanced concepts, they flow out of your mind like beautiful and wonderful poetry. And you smile, because all is well, and you have created something beautiful in a world that needs more beauty. Also, it's lunchtime.

I bet whoever wrote this code into Scala REPL didn't know they'd make someone smile during the holidays

Happy holidays everyone!

Old team that screwed me over now comes back being all nice to ask me for help...

Me: **fake smile** Hi... (what can I do for you monkeys)

Then proceeds to do a Google search and gives them a link... idiots....

I have a second hard drive called "Windows" on my main system (for dual boot).
When I unmount it after I had to access it via Linux it says "You can remove Windows now".
Makes me smile every time.

!dev rant, but dev company rant (if that makes sense)

<sarcasm>
I love my company's HR, she is such a wonderful and caring woman.
</sarcasm>

<rant>
'Breng' (a public transit company in the Netherlands) was on strike today, so I couldn't go to work. No problem I thought, I'll just work from home. So I send a screenshot to the HR where you could see that every train was canceled.

A few moments later I get a message back saying that I should wait for the next train (although you could see on the screenshot that said train was also canceled)

Now I finally have a train to go to work... After sitting an hour in the cold... And I already see the smile on her face when I arrive at work...
</rant>

<prayer>
Please trains keep driving so I can go home tonight...
</prayer>

Just got my hand on a new Windows 10 machine and used IE for its one true purpose.

Yet what I saw truly boggled my mind.

Wow. Microsoft truly got an inferiority complex nowadays.

(And I had to smile about the "browse longer" part, given I am on a desktop workstation I no fucks are given about battery live.)

The idea of a smiley face in text wasn’t invented by Scott Fahlman in 1982. It was invented by a Russian writer Vladimir Nabokov. In his 1969 interview for the New York Times, to whether he considers himself a modern writer, he replied:

“I think that in typography there should be a symbol that conveys a smile, a bit like a paren laying on its side. I would use precisely that symbol to reply to your question”.

This is why russian, Ukrainian and other people still use “)” as a smiley face still, instead of Western “:)” and “:-)”. We sometimes add more parens, like “)))))))” instead of “xD” or “:D”.

y'all have any ideas for something techy i can do for my girlfriend?

i want to make her an app or something she can see every day and smile at

So this just happened,

Me and my co-worker (we are junior developers) were working on the same bug, it was a post call throwing a server exception.

We had asked for help to debug this issue from a senior developer the day before, he was quite busy with his own tasks.

He is one those kinds who would keep working even if the entire bay is wasting their time, always keeping to himself, needless to say I haven't seen him smile.

Back to my story, he couldn't spare time yesterday so we tried to squash the bug ourselves thinking he might have forgotten we had called him.He then comes out of nowhere, he firsr checks the button bindings, params sent and the call being made.

He then went through the backend code strategically placing the break points, clicks and debugs a few times and then opens the console. BAM!!!!

" D' hell yo !!" Shows up in the console, not just once but multiple times. Turns out I forgot the logger I had placed in the catch block.

He turns to me in super slo-mo looks me in the eye and whispers "what the hell yo!" and kept quite for some time, meanwhile the sense of cringe was slowly creeping on me. That was when he let out a loud blurt and the entire cabin turned to us. Needless to say it was awkward.

His smile was creepy though :/

In school, for the last project of the year
Had to show it to the teachers in charge
When I entered in the room they said my name and looked at me with a big smile
The usually took 15min per project, but they looked at mine for ~35min
One teacher was testing and the other one was writing
Everytime the second one was asking about a feature the other one said "perfect"
I was so proud of me 😁

For me there are two kinds of bugs. The ones where you lean backward and the ones where you lean forward.

If you found a bug and you lean backwards in your chair resting your hands behind your head you feel proud and relieved that you found that sneaky bastard. Good for your dev soul.

If you lean forward, resting your forehead on your fists or on the desk then it was a very stupid bug. Not sneaky at all. Something plain obvious. It makes you doubting all your career and life choices you made so far. Like needing one hour to find out that you named the "MANIFEST.in" accidentally "MAINFEST.in"...

Want to share any embarrassing bugs to make me smile again?

I have just done my manicures yesterday evening. And, it's so nice to look at when you have your nails done from my point of view, especially when coding. So much view and can really boost self esteem, lets you smile, and motivated to work though I don't usually love Mondays because yeah, another manic Monday.

I just so love my manicures today, despite the allergies that I still have, the enhancement code that has not yet been deployed by our ever loving, supreme, Grandmaster turd, let's just name him, John Doe.

P.S. please not be easily removed manicures. For you are the only source of my happiness and my motivation to go to work (because bills is too mainstream and will always be the classy reason also)

Another day, another shitty set of JIRA tickets.

In this week's edition, we run into an issue you'd think is a meme, something you couldn't even make up: three tickets with IDENTICAL titles, but miraculously, they actually refer to three DIFFERENT tasks! (Also comical, they're not bugs, they're tasks, but mouth breathers don't really know the difference, and at this point I just don't have the energy to attempt to explain what could be explained to elementary school children.)

I present a rare look into our national archives!

This document features two exhibits:

Exhibit A: product owner's original ticket titles

Exhibit B: translated-into-competency-because-i'm-not-mentally-deficient ticket titles

Just more proof that 'product owners' don't own shit, the devs are the real ones who actually know what is going on.

I mean just LOOK at Exhibit A's titles. As a big smart manager, do you write those tickets, smile, and say to yourself "Ah, yep, that's very clear, I'll definitely remember what each of these mean literally 5 seconds from now!"

Is asking for literally 30 seconds more of thought too much to ask for? Apparently.

Just kill me

Happy friday ☠️

Recently was in a recruitment hackathon for leading technology company.
So, to test ppls networking, team building skill they grouped ppl into a team.
I was teamed up with noobs, and had very bad experience.
One guy in the team was arguing to use PHP for developing a web app.
Me : What PHP framework are u good at!?
He: what is framework !?
Me : like laravel etc..
He: no I meant we use plain PHP!

Me (mind voice) : go fuck yourself, I am bailing out , I Do not need the job

Me : It's ohk we only know NodeJs , so, gave a wierd smile

He was still arguing ,but I gave 0 f***
This is considered as a fight!?
Yeah not the worst though
Apparently the recruitment ppl liked him a lot in my team!

Bluntly telling management that they're wrong, full of shit, and need to quit doing stupid things instead of just smiling and nodding and taking the paycheck. SPOILER ALERT: After 20 years in industry, they're NEVER going to change. They're just going to keep doing stupid shit. The best you can do is smile and politely point out that it's a problem. Then, look out for your own concerns and make sure you don't have to suffer with their bullshit decision as best as you can.

Was at a party the other day and was talking to some randoms and they asked me about programming and said it must be fun and fast paced to do it on your own...

All I did was smile and told them I have spent 10 days trying to decide on 16 colour codes for a part of the software the average consumer will never even see...

Game development everybody!

So I just realized we submitted an Android assignment containing a notification with a bunch of swear words ! The submission closed a week ago...
Here's to hoping they have a good sense of humor!..
*Awkward laugh and smile*

Today I had a client raise a high defect directly with my boss’s boss. I got called into a meeting and was told
I needed to fix it immediately.

I looked and realized it was in their code and not our component. I told them as much. They asked me if I would still fix it. I refused. Told them it’s not my component. Fix your own problems.

Sat their as my boss’s boss asked them how they functioned if they didn’t even understand their own component. Feels good man. All I could do is smile at them trying not to laugh.

Small things count*

You know how in Android Studio, if you put a string directly into a View's text, it warns you to use resources' strings?
Well if you put there "Hello World", it gives you no warning...

I don't know why, but it made me smile. (Way to go, JetBrains!)

*Don't thing of anything stupid

Salesforce....
What
The
Actual
Fuck

Those of you who like "The Imitation Game", you probably want to check out "Hidden Figures" (2016). It's on Netflix now.

About a team of female African-American mathematicians who wanted to "break the glass ceiling" in NASA.
- Dorothy : conquered the (recently acquired) IBM frameworks using Fortran and taught her team to program it
- Mary : appealed to court to be allowed to study in a all-white school to get her qualification to be an aerospace engineer
- Katherine : her skills in analytical geometry enabled her to be the first female African-American in the Space Task Group in calculating the momentous capsule launch into orbit

My lazy ass just can't fathom how someone who deals with so much math and pressure can still smile to their family after work. My grumpiness nature will surely turn me into a monster.

And now I know what "human computers" means.

I made a thing in photoshop today after not using it for a long time. No reason. Made me smile :)

Favorite dev tool ? Maven, because that make me smile every time !

wk108 is truly wholesome. thank you all for making me smile.

I won't lie, when someone says something dumb and I see a '-1', it makes me smile.

Y'all are alright.

XOR AX, AX

Who remembers good old days when this put a smile on our faces?

Never had full time mentors, just some great examples from great people:

Some years ago, I was new on the job. They sent me to see a colleague for the "transfer of knowledge" as he was leaving and I had to take over his projects.

He greeted me with a big smile and said:
"Oh, look, I just spilled very accidentally a cup of coffee on my pc so I've lost all information. Only thing I remember is that you have a call with this project today at 14 o'clock. I'll be gone by then but don't worry, just say we are late with delivery and it will be fine. I hope you all the best with your new job!"

I'll always remember him. I learned the value of improvisation, the utility of a cup of coffee and how to take things easy.

I always dream of doing what I learned from him sooner or later.

Ive reached a point where seeing the telegram logo with the little santa hat makes me so happy that i smile for hours because everything else sucks so much. Can we just burn formal education to the ground and only hire <30yro people as professors?

Company has me giving interviews and today brought the second "Sr JavaScript Developer" that's gotten past multiple people that can't even construct a fucking "for" loop.

Get the fuck out of here... And those excuses at the end trying to explain your "industry experience" just annoy me further.

If I have to smile, thank, and shake another one of these fucktards hands, I'm gonna scream!

I am officially told to make hacks to meet project deadline - oh by the way i will be supporting the application in production - should i smile or cry ?

In my current company (200+ employees) we have 3 guys who deals with everything related to service desk (format computers, fix network issues, help non-tech people...)

The same team is responsible for the AWS accounts and permissions, Jenkins, self hosted Gitlab... anyway, DevOps stuff.

Thing is: only one of them have enough DevOps background to handle the requests from the engineering team (~15 people). Also, he usually do anything "by hand" clicking trough the AWS interface on each account, never using tools like Infrastructure as Code to help (that's why I started to refer to his role only as Ops, because there's no Dev being done there).

Anyway... I asked my manager why that team is responsible for both jobs, despite the engineering guys having far more experience with those tools. He answered with a shamed smile, as he probably questioned the same to his manager:

- Because they are responsible for everything related to our Infrastructure.

Does it make sense for anyone? Am I missing something here? In what universe this kind of organization is a healthy choice?

Going through some terrible shit in life atm.. Didn't open devRant for a while and sure as the sun the stream made me smile.. Thanks..

Facial expression: smile

Expectation: happiness

Actual result: "help me I'm trapped"

When i made a little web prototype platformer game using js and then wanted to show my friends as they all wanted to play.

1. Setup all the files on my phone.
2. Made a web server on my phone with relevant file permissions.
3. Setup a web server on my phone and joined the network
4. Smile as it worked when they all connected through the browser to the relevant IP/port

This post just made me realise i need to get another phone lol

!rant
"What's the best browser that doesn't devour all of my HW resources?"

Seriously guys, Opera GX. You can set how much ram and cpu it eats, and it only eats that much. Yes, even to the point of it being unresponsive and laggy, because it keeps itself within the boundaries you set.

Seriously. Regardless of the number of tabs.
Also, it looks nice.

Downsides: You forget WHY it lags sometimes, so you get irritated, but when you remember, the irritation turns to smile.

I am not a paid shill, i'm just a user and I use it primarily and only for that single feature.

TIL: Outlook now supports reactions to mails in the form of icons. Think: like/smile/cry/heart/etc.

Just like reactions to messages in any given chat application.

Don't get me wrong, I like and welcome this feature. It's just surprising to see this in... mail.

omg omg omg. I just found out rebrickable has an all inclusive Lego pieces and sets database updated monthly FREE and under a CC license!! And their API is also available for use under CC. And I'm so excited I could pee because this just made it possible for me to jump right in on a personal project I've been wanting to start and my SO/friends just look at me and smile politely when I try to explain to them what a goldmine it is to find a library that does exactly what you need and is free too. So I needed to come somewhere and share my news and know I'd be understood. <3

I was told by my manager that I should smile more and should always say hi when i meet someone from other department，because that would effect my probation review？！！

Somehow I enjoy creating flawlessly working nifty utilities a lot more than writing actual business code.

It's that versatility and reusability of a well-written utility that makes it suitable for many use-cases that puts a smile on my face.

A single-purpose business and use-case-specific piece of code doesn't do it for me anymore. I guess it never did, really...

I wish I could get paid for building tools rather than business apps :)

On the university we made a robot using Lego, which communicated on bluetooth with a tablet. We wrote a smile detector using opencv for the tablet. On the tablet you saw the view of the front camera. And when you smiled into the camera, the tablet notified the Lego robot which gave you a chewgum. The purpose of this project was to demonstrate on a fair what our robotics group did. People really liked it. 🙂

Great (but clueless) client. I went to a meeting with the client to discuss a way forward for his website revamp. First off he showed me his idea, which was a visual of the Windows desktop, with folders for different sections of the website, click on a folder and it opens revealing the different website pages. It went on basically describing how windows works. When he'd finished I said, with a cheeky smile, "that must be one of the fucking shityest ideas I've ever heard". We both started laughing.

one of our sales manager ask me,
"what so difficult to build ecommerce website, we work more than you because we strugle on field."

I just smile and start walking.

When you work with other developers who would, for any feature, small or large, plop in a new library or framework of which they will utilize 1% of... I'm talking about things that we could develop in house in less than a day and have significantly less code bloat... and when you tell them this they smile, nod, and say yeah gotchu, and continue on... AND YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN THE DAMN THING.

I used to think I was the kind of programmer that was good with people. That somehow I was special because I could get on with colleagues and make clients happy.

But fuck people. It’s so easy to be nice, just don’t be not nice. Don’t say rude things and be surprised when I’ve had enough.

For some reason my latest colleagues think it’s too confrontational to talk to each other and instead give management anonymous feedback on who they don’t get on with. Which obviously gets fed back to everyone immediately.

I’m done putting on a smile. Elegant code speaks for itself. I’m getting a PA to talk to people from now on because fuck this.

Currently doing a lab in XQuery. The comment notation always makes me smile :)

Can AI recognize fake smiles?

Context:
So, my good-for-nothing brother-in-law comes with his toddler. I'm pissed at him for reasons, but gentlemen are always polite IRL and look at each other for greetings.
His toddler has always loved me and runs towards me. But see my fake-ass smile and suddenly she is shy and nervous.
She has noticed the stealth-fake smile that fooled her mother and grandmother.

Can AI do that? are there enough markers to differentiate a fake smile from a real one? Or is it waaay to personal?
If is it trivial, can someone please make a fake-smile coach app?

i feel like everything around me is catching fire, so I'm trying to put it out while also keeping a customer service smile and dealing with people

I started a new job about a week ago in an R&D software house which is a completely different world from what I am used to.

I worked as a coder in small teams, sometimes with Agile but always sunk in multiple projects at once - requiring constant switching of sprint goals week to week.

Now, I am alone (first person in a "maybe-in-the-future" team), doing research and preparing a demo for the client. It's hella lot of responsibility yet I found it weirdly liberating - being on my own, in control of what I do.

It may change in the future when project will inevitebly grow, but for right now, a week in, I started smiling while coding and learning, which I apparently haven't done in years.

During the job interview faking your smile like you understand WTF they are saying. Deep inside your heart thinking why you are not rich and you badly need this job.

My boss just said “as long as it puts a smile on the clients face, it’s worth examining, within reason.” Yeaaa that’s a bit broad... Some of our clients only smile when they have hookers and blow on hand. Is it reasonable to help them acquire such if it helps retain them as a customer?!

I heard Google has prepared an AI for solving competitive programming questions by training models based on problems and solutions from GitHub.
*devil smile*...on my way to flood GitHub with wrong solutions. Ciao!

This made me smile.

I like SMOOSH yarn1 AN yarn2... MKAY from Lolcode. Reading the language always gets a smile out of me.

I've tried languages
In count three dozen
But there's only one that doesn't
Stack up against the rest
Of course the one I think is best
It makes me jump and smile with glee
It is in fact
PHP

I hate so very much about so very many things, I forget some of the things I love.
And what I love is small lines of code that reveal something about their developer. This? This I love to see.

Some guy here studied C at university, decided he liked it so much he would port it over to JS. Absolutely pointless effort, but he decided he would do it nonetheless. The code is clean, documented, just with this little quirk and I'm honestly smiling. You rock, buddy, whoever you are.