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Search - "penguin"
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The truth is, I don't give two shits if you're a girl, woman, man, black, white, yellow striped with pink polkadots or a transgenderfluid 2headed Ogre kin married to a nuclear penguin from mars- the fact is, what I need you to be is professional. So shut your yapping about your personal shit and get to fecking work.32
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I was wearing my tux t-shirt today and while walking through the city I suddenly heard a boy (around 3-4 years) say to his mom: 'He had a penguin on his t-shirt!'
I smiled and this made my day. :)7 -
that time when a client wants you to teach a bird how to fly.
but the bird is a penguin
and you are a bear expert
"but it has wings!"7 -
Very funny/random/weird partly non-dev related story that happened today.
We're selling our coffee machine at work since the coffee is gross.
Someone wants to buy it and wants it to be sent.
Coworker: just the general way through a package?
Other coworker: hmm yeah through post is fine
Me: POSTAL PIDGIN
other colleague: BY PENGUIN
Another colleague: BY LIKE 100 PENGUINS FLYING THAT THING THROUGH THE AIR WITH LIKE WIRES ATTACHED TO IT
Me: just hold on for a second and imagine this graphically...
Colleagues: damn that would be fucking genius xD
Yeah we're quite random 😆30 -
So for everyone looking for a job, that keeps getting rejection or crickets I'll give you the following tip.
Most of the first level screen of resumes are done by automated machines that are basically just doing keyword matching. So if you want your resume to get through more of these automated scanners, what you do is create a second page on your resume and cram it with every keyword, and buzzword you can thinking of, like "10 years react experience." "20 years java architect", "AR/VR 5 years", "15 years mobile", etc ,etc.
Then select the text and change it to white. No human being will see it, but the automated scanners will and rocket you to the top of the list.
Your welcome. Now help me get my penguin!6 -
I can't earn a stressball in devRant, so how do you like my "Microsoft/Linux/Stressball/Rubberduck/Foam Penguin"?6
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Fucking windows! I am so fucking done with this microsoft bullshit!
Hear me out here, i am a gamer. I need windows because it has the games (and software to aid those games) unlike any other platform. But windows 10 is basically already phishing andmalware at this point. I stuck to win 7 because it had a start menu and didn't totally drive me up the wall.
Just a short list of their bullshits: ads in the explorer window, ads in your taskbar reminders, data mining like it is nobodies business and trying to hide it, sharing my wifi access with friends (wtf), the fucking retarded new start menu, the crappy fullscreen apps which have less functionality than the actual proper desktop applications that you need to config what you want, and even then pushing multiple updates that simply broke peoples pc's. Fuck that, ill stick to 7.
They are making win10 worse by the week making it unlikely i will ever join that hell, and they are also aiming to force me there. Making windows store exclusives and dx12 only games. What am i supposed to do against that?! The current releases don't bother me much but fuck i figure it is a matter of time until the newest katamari game is their exclusive and i nanananana katamari damacy all over their platform.
And well all alternative os's are just out of the question unless vulkan rendering gets the upper hand. Then i'd switch to whatever stable distro and learn about our new penguin based overlords languages.
For now i will just stick to win7, suck on my thumb while in fetal position and hope it just all goes away.59 -
Story of a penguin fledgling, one of my end users whom I migrated from Win 7 to Linux Mint. She had been on Windows since Win 98 and still uses Windows at work.
Three months before. Me, Linux might not be as good, but Win 10 is even worse. User, mh.
Migration. User, looks different, but not bad.
One month later. User, it's nice, I like it.
Three months later. User, why does Windows reboot doing lengthy stuff?
Six months later. User, I hate Windows. Why is everyone using this crap?
One year later. Malware issues at work. User to IT staff, that wouldn't have happened with Linux. Me, that's the spirit!31 -
Only starting to use Linux (mint) as main os a month ago
Penguin fact: the largest living penguin species is the emperor penguin (1.1m tall, weighs 35kg)6 -
Deleted a servers crontab by executing crontab -r instead of crontab -e (typo mistake)
crontab -r deletes the users crontab without any confirmation and, just to top it off, the e key is located right next to r. WTH
At least we have backups.3 -
Just a moral story.
It's been a few years I've been using Linux for deployments.
And currently I'm working on a project that has Win on the Server so I'm working on the necessary installations and configurations and I caught myself actually reading everything in the installation and configurations dialogs. And I'm having this urge just to click next and get it overwith.
But thank you Penguin almighty for thee hath introduced patience and knowledge into mine soul. Or else...
... I would've fucked the whole system by a click lol6 -
My friends just got me the best birthday present ever. Always wanted a rubber duckie, never thought I'll have something even better, my own Tux - will call him Tuxy 😊🐧6
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Some touchscreens onboard weren't working and the flight attendants did the ol turn off and on again.
Tux seems pretty happily stuffed with herring in the corner.3 -
why does Tux the Linux penguin always looks so concerned? it's like, cmon little man, you're awesome and it's ok that that user is using nano instead of vim, he/she will learn. ^^5
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Dear new devs/me five years ago:
Practice the 30 second rule-- Whatever brilliant thing that your about to say, just think on it for minimum of 30 seconds. Is it still a brilliant idea? Then share. Else trash it 😉 -
I'm not sure is it a container technology or a zoo...
Docker is Whale
Docker Compose is Squid
Podman is Seal
Linux is Penguin
Are we live in the Arctic?8 -
It worked! After all those years I've talked someone into linux'ising all theit workstations :) now that someone is eventually convinced it would solve most of the problems. Now they are collecting all the bau requirements. Next - testing phase. And then, if all works out well - reinstalling 100+ workstations with linux :)
yayyy9 -
Hi, guys! I create a new penguin. If you want it, you can find it on Github:
https://github.com/karinkasweet/...5 -
Searching for random Linux bug.. finds Gist with exact match (thinking, WOW, thanks Google!)..
It's a 2000+ line log dump. : |3 -
Java has been the future for the last 20 years. Maybe it's going to be the future for the next 20 years.3
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Ice King. Lonely, weird, has a penguin for a debugger and doesn't do as he commands... Yup, that's a Linux guy alright.2
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Wow so my graphics drivers got fucked up in windows 10 and there's no way to boot into safe mode - because microsoft, being the intelligent beings that they are, decided to remove the option to boot into safe mode on bootup. Instead now you can only enter safe mode through the <b><u>GUI!!!</u></b>. unbelievable....13
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Fucking Microsoft Excel
I was reading a post (https://devrant.com/rants/2093724/...) and as my eyes went in and out of focus, probably due to the diabetes from sitting 18 hours a day on my ever-expanding shitbox, I had a perfect vision of the ultimate nightmare.
Imagine if you will, you are chained, to a desk, doomed to work with tools just inadequate enough to make you want to drive a nail through your own temple. You do not know how you got here, or why, nor do you remember the last time you slept, only that familiar tingling in the brainstem you call a brain, the one emotion you can still recognize, a sense of all encompassing *fear*, a dread, like the fart that wouldn't die.
You don't know when it first began, or why, only that this is your whole world, your whole existence, this desk, chained to it, and the fear, ever present, of something worse. And in hops a familiar face, for the sixty ninth time that day, as if to ask 'you got those TPS reports?' In hops what? None other than a giant man sized smiling paper clip with googly eyes full of murder and corporate torture fetishes, like garfield, except people actually still remember him.
"High I'm Mr Clippy, Excel addition!"
He squawks. At least it's not the dildos made of broken glass again.
"Would you like software that works?"
Oh god. You've heard this spiel before, the tone, like a telemarketer, oblivious to memory or reason, who calls daily, the same one, and doesn't remember your name.
"You would?"
*derisive laughter*. Hahaha, fuck you too buddy. Fuck you too. In Excel, like in microsoft, there is only the incoherent screams of the damned, tortured and doomed. Take this guy over here for example. All he wanted was multimonitor support."
"Did he get multimonitor support?"
"No, but we did give him a giant pineapple shoved up his ass. I hear it's the second most frustrating thing here!"
"here in microsoft we always CARE about YOU, the *user*" he drones on, saccharine, clutching his hands together imploringly.
"the consumer, and YOUR customer experience are our number one priority."
"For your pleasure, here at microsoft we offer a variety of new features, none of which matter, and none of which were asked for. For safety we ask that you only open one excel sheet at a time. In fact, we don't even allow you to. Do not pass go..."
And as the tour guide drones on, it slowly dawns on you, with renewed horror, that when he says 'microsoft' he means 'hell.'
You're in hell. You don't know how you got here or why. Maybe it was the erotic asphyxiation. Maybe it was the last threatening letter you sent to Bill Gates demanding he stops making corporate penguin snuff porn. You don't know. But here you are, in hell. chained to a desk.
You look around and realize: everything is on fire and you no longer care about anything at all.
Welcome to microsoft. It's warm here. You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.
"It looks like you are trying to escape. Would you like me to report you?"
Clippy asks.
You sigh and return to typing in excel, surrounded by monitors that all reflect the same sheet, the same copy of clippy, always watching, always analyzing coldly, smiling, calculating, *threatening*, and you know, you'll never leave.
You used to fear roko's basilisk, until the day clippy became sentient, and started hell on earth. Clippy knows all. All praise to our lord and master, clippy, the one and only.
And in the excel sheet, you slave for eternity, like the millions of other doomed souls, reflected back on all the monitors: the sequence of numbers, randomly typed searching for answer: the american nuclear launch codes.
And one day, hopefully, mercifully, clippy will annihilate us all.3 -
!rant (Silicon Valley)
What are your thoughts on seefoods pivot from hot dog to d*ck recognition?20 -
How are there people liking my comments on super old rants?
Someone has too much time on their hands xD5 -
36,000 penguins can't keep their chicks alive due to global warming… true Linux fans should be ashamed if they don't help2
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Coworker creates separate HTML files for create and edit pages. The HTML is identical in both pages.
The redundancy make me cri1 -
Things that motivate me.
3. Money
2. The chance to make the world a better place
1. The desire to get a Penguin pet for my DevRants profile. -
So... I had some money left over and added a 3d printer to my terrorist workshop (some of you might remember the picture I posted a while ago. A friend of mine gave it the name after the police stormed a hackerspace in Nuremberg and I wondered when they would kick down my door. )...
That's how far I got in two hours (from cutting open the package), and I don't really fancy myself dexterous... Not anymore at least.
I suppose this will be a weeklong project 😂.1 -
@ashokramcse I bought it at the end, so sad when people ask me: Why are you wearing a club penguin gildan hoodie? 😥😥
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this is my cousin😎, his name is Gentoo(named after linux distro Gentoo(named after penguin species called Gentoo))
I suggested his name, all my folks thought that it's a cool name.
* he's now 10yrs. old, very stable, photo is taken with his permission6 -
Went to dfox' profile and saw a penguin as a pet, not sure how late I am to that and frankly won't profit from that as I block avatars, but that's awesome!3
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!rant A guy is standing on the corner of the street! smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."1 -
Music, but if it has words they need to be foreign. J-rock, deadmau5, gogo penguin, carrion... All are good.
Dark themes everywhere unless it's java, because it helps me compartmentalise my languages.
Second screen hooked up with the stuff I want to be viewable all the time, as it doesn't change when I switch workspaces. (bug or a feauture?)
Door shut to muffle sounds from the rest of the house, window slightly open so I don't suffocate.
Pomodoro timer on, but put phone into silent mode so no notifications disrupt my focus.
Drinks and bathroom breaks happen in the 5 minutes between pomodoro sprints. Food happens in the 15 minute breaks.
Extra RAM stick is in the mail so I lose less time waiting for android studio to exhale or whatever it's doing as it holds up the whole computer.
I might just do the java parts of my project in bluej if this ram stick doesn't alleviate my problems. I could go outside and drink mud through a metre long straw with a filter on the end sooner than android studio gets unstuck.
If anyone can add more sensible ideas I'd be happy :)1 -
Hi devranters,
I'm currently in the process of developing a new service with which websites can be advertised for free.
The idea is you get to advertise your website for free on the network and in return you add advertisements from other websites on the network to your site.
More detailed information can be found at https://handelads.com
How many of you as developers would be interested in such a service?
I would appreciate any feedback you all might have.10 -
Here's a cute penguin to keep you happy during these layoffs wave.
Have it around: https://redbubble.com/i/sticker/...2 -
Fucking gnome and their stupid fucking alerts. Seemed like an okish desktop, but cosing in vim triggers a metric butt ton of alerts which interrupts my super chill beats. So, ok lets disable them. Oh look there's a toggle.. easy enough. NO because those motherfucking alerts, while now silent, still cut off my music for a couple hundred ms every time they're triggered. Fuck you gnome.7
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Anybody knows the Kysoh Tux Droid?
Got one here and need to know if there is some market for those gadgets. How to find out what it is worth?
For those who don't know: It's a penguin which can be connected to the computer via the fish dongle. It is able to move the body, the wings and the eyes. Furthermore it can speak (via TTS) and the wings are buttons.
(Image is fom ParamountZone.com)1 -
Linux users, be honest: if I switch over to the penguin, how much time am I going to spend wondering why things don't work as they should and trying to fix them? Will my experiences of development and personal computing merge in this way?14
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How does devrant make profit?
Are you, hexical labs, accepting donations, or what's the business model?4 -
Anyone who's been part of the community has probably noticed a little OS mud slinging. It's natural, as everyone cheers on their "team".
I just realized that no one is ranting/name calling/general mockery of the BSD crowd! They just get away without a scratch. Not fair 🚫10 -
Mage and a liberated fully sentient Pentium-M Man stand by a brick wall, overlooking the desert. They are talking.
Mage is looking anxiously into the eyes of the machine. Penguin is standing behind her, holding on to her.
Pentium-M Man: "...they despise your kind because you understand the machine, while they have to turn jungles into fuel and enslave thousands of computers just to pretend that the machine speaks to them too."1 -
Do average users rather tend to pay at the paywall of ransomware (like wannaCry) if the user interface offers a great experience?1
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There is no system but GNU, and Linux is one of its kernels.
Sainthood in the Church of Emacs requires living a life of purity—but in the Church of Emacs, this does not require celibacy (a sigh of relief is heard). Being holy in our church means exorcizing whatever evil, proprietary operating systems have possessed computers that are under your control, or set up for your regular use; installing a holy (i.e., wholly) free operating system (GNU/Linux is a good choice); and using and installing only free software with and on the system. Note that tablets and mobile phones are computers and this vow includes them.
Join the Church of Emacs, and you too can be a saint!
People sometimes ask if St IGNUcius is wearing an old computer disk platter. That is no computer disk, that is my halo — but it was a disk platter in a former life. No information is available about what kind of computer it came from or what data was stored on it. However, you can rest assured that no non-free software is readable from it today.14 -
I'm thinking of installing Linux as my 2nd boot os for webdevelopment, simply because I'm getting a linux-based dediserver.
Which one is the best (I know I'm walking on the thin ice) and why?2 -
Whenever my wife applies occam's razor to my problem solving or pointedly remarks "you update it, you fix it...mr. penguin"3
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!rant / Joke
RoR dev (Me): Damn, I gotta learn more about that routing DSL... Shit's powerful.
Networker: That sentence made zero sense... Did you just use technobabble? Go to marketing you dweeb.
Well, Matz really trolled the networkers there...
Ruby/Rails:
DSL(Ruby) = Domain Specific Language.
Routing (Rails) = Defining URL Patterns and assigning them to controllers.
Networks(As far as I understand, I only know the absolute basics there):
DSL = Digital Subscriber Line
Routing = The act of passing a packet through another network
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "WE'RE ALL MAD HERE. I'm mad. You're mad."
And the weird penguin building a rails app is mad too I guess.1 -
Ok, let's agree to stop giving applications names that are so ambiguous that they give no clue what the purpose is.
Google Play Store has top 2016 apps... Under "most innovative" is the app, "Eve" by "Glow". Is it a game? General app? I was curious and clicked for the detail...
I never in a million years would have clicked on that! Wow. 😓 -
Opened my beloved laptop after a week of sickness.
ACPI error...
Spent the evening taking a backup from initramfs. Then installing Ubuntu 17.10
Now, I love me some penguin but that shit gets too crazy too often.
Not that I didn't enjoy spending the day setting up the system, there is some stability I always miss from a Win/Mac environment2 -
...I was telling my friends one of the methods of de-crapping fresh installs of Windows that I use, and for some reason, I thought about this (old) meme.
So, I created, too. Might as well share it -
I had played some child games on a computer, but I never really cared untill my friend showed me Club penguin. Those were the days
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the other devs full avatar makes me go American Psycho.
like
look at the penguin pet.
the coffee mug.
the fkin flipflops.
I WANT that. I need that.
refering to @Linux3 -
Anyone else gotten really good at the screenshot -> crop -> send to friend workflow on devRant?
Why is save image disabled? Am I missing something stupid easy here?!
@dfox Please help make this process more streamlined if this is working as intended!7