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Being a web developer somedays makes me feel like:
Wow! Look at that super awesome thing these guys coded, and I'm just sitting here aligning divs and changing font colors.11 -
A friend bought a new expensive mouse.
I made the mistake of asking how it feels in his hand.
His response was "Heavenly. Like cupping an angel's ballsack".7 -
Most awkward moment of my life happened 10 mins ago.
I really enjoy playing a sad trombone sound when someone says something stupid. I even have a widget on my phone's home screen so that I can play it almost instantly.
It's actually very funny when I use it with friends.
So, today I walk in the office during a rather heated argument between my boss and a sales lady who has been in the company forever.
I sit on my desk and pull out my phone to connect it to the charger since it was getting a bit low.
As the boss completes his phrase and there is that half second silence before the other person starts speaking I accidentally pressed the trombone button, playing the sound at full volume for a full 2-3 seconds that, needless to say, felt like an eternity.
Don't think I'm getting fired but God it was awkward.10 -
A couple of weeks back, I met some of the kids from my old school. They had joined together to form a small team and were designing and deploying websites for local businesses.
Turns out that they were mailing each other and using Dropbox to manage the source code. This had been going on nearly for an year.
I spent a couple of hours showing them how to use git and gitlab. Basics on committing, pushing, pulling, branching and merging.
I will never forget the look on their faces! They had seen God and its name is Git.7 -
*goes to the local town hall to get my new ID*
A week ago:
Clerk: Sorry sir, our systems don't work anymore, we can't process your request!
Me: Epic. Is there any sysadmin in here that can fix this pronto?
C: No it's a centrally managed system. It's managed by the people in ${another town}.
M (thinking): Well how about you fucking call them then, fucking user. Screaming blood and fire when nothing is wrong server-side but doing nothing when there is. Fucking amazing, useless piece of shit.
One week later, i.e. today:
M: Hey, I'd like to renew my ID card. I've got this announcement document here and my current ID card.
C: Oh no I don't need the announcement document. I need your PIN and PUK code letter.
M (thinking): What the fuck do you need that for.. isn't that shit supposed to be my private information..?
*gives PIN and PUK part of the letter*
C: Alright, to register your new ID card, please enter your PUK and then your PIN in this card reader here twice.
M: Sure, but I'd like to change both afterwards. After all they're written on this piece of paper and I'm not sure that just destroying that will be enough.
C: Sure sure you can change them. Please authenticate with the codes written on the paper.
*Authenticates*
C: So you'd like to change your codes, right?
M: Yeah but I'd like to change it at home. You know, because I can't know for sure that this PC here is secure, the card reader has a wired connection to your PC (making it vulnerable to keyloggers) and so on.
C: Impossible. You can't change your PIN at home. (What about the PUK?!)
M: But I've done that several times with my Digipass for my previous passport.. it is possible and I've done it myself.
C: Tut tut, impossible. I know it's impossible and therefore it is.
M (thinking): Thanks for confirming that I really shouldn't enter my personal PIN on your fucking PC, incompetent bitch.
M: Alright, I'll just keep this PIN, try at home and if it's really impossible because the system changed to remove this functionality (which I highly doubt, that'd be really retarded), I'll come back later.
(Just to get rid of this old stupid woman's ignorance essentially.)
C: Sure sure...
Me: I'd also like to register as an organ donor. Where can I do that?
C: That'd be over there. *points to the other room in the town hall*
FUCKING THANK YOU LORDS OF THE WICKED RAVEN AND THE LIBERATED TUX, TO GET ME AWAY FROM THAT STUPID FUCKING BITCH!!!
.. anyway. I've got my new ID and I'm an official organ donor now 🙂6 -
A moment of silence for all the USB flash drives that we purchased and have no idea where they are or who did we borrow them to.7
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I was wearing my tux t-shirt today and while walking through the city I suddenly heard a boy (around 3-4 years) say to his mom: 'He had a penguin on his t-shirt!'
I smiled and this made my day. :)7 -
At this point it's pretty much a matter of time before the English language runs out of words and JS framework developers resort to random strings for naming them.3
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===rant
So I have been freelancing as web developer for 5 years. I was also playing basketball professionally so I was only working part-time, building websites here and there, small android apps to learn the job and I was also reading a lot to challenge my brain.
When I stopped playing basketball about a year ago, I thought I would really enjoy coding full time so I pursued a job.
With no formal education and just a basketball background on paper, in the collapsed Greek economy, as you may assume chances of landing a job are minimal.
After about 40 resumes sent I only got an internship. It was a 4 month, part-time, no pay deal, and then the company would decide if they would like to hire me later.
The company had 4 employees and they are one of the largest software distribution businesses in my area. They resell SaaS bought from a third company, bundled with installation support, initial configuration, hardware support, whatever a client may need.
I was the only one with any ability to code whatsoever. The other people were working mostly on customer support with the occasional hardware repair.
After the 4 month period they owner (small company, owner was also manager and other roles) told me that they are very happy with my work and would like to keep me part-time with minimum pay.
Just to give you and idea if the amounts of money involved, in Greece, after taxes, my salary was 240euros per month. And the average cost of surviving (rent, cheapest food possible, no expenses on anything but super basics) is about 600euros.
I told him I needed more to live and he told me ok, we will reevaluate a few months later, at the end of May 2017.
I just accepted it without having many options. The company after all was charging clients 30euros per hour for my projects so I kept thinking that if I worked a lot and delivered consistently I would get a full time job and decent money.
And I delivered. In the following months I made a Magento extension, some WordPress themes, a C# application to extract data from the client's ERP and import it to a third application, a click to call application to use Asterisk to originate calls from the client's ERP, a web application to manage a restaurant's menu and many more small projects. Whatever they asked, I delivered.
On time, version controlled, heavily documented solutions (my C# ones are not exactly masterpieces but it was my first time with the language and windows).
So when May ended I was pretty excited to hear they wanted to keep me full time. I worked hard for it, I was serious, professional, I tried a lot to learn things so I can deliver, and the company recognized that. YAY.
So the time comes to talk money. The offer was 480euros per month. Double my part-time pay, minimum wage. I asked for about 700. Manager said it's hard but I will see what I can do. So we agreed to keep the deal for June while they are working on a better offer.
During the first half of June I finished my last project, put all my work on a nice folder with a nice readme on every project's directory, with their version control and everything.
The offer never improved, so I said no deal, and as of today, I am jobless.
I am stressed as fuck and excited as fuck at the same time.
I will do my best to survive in the shitstorm that is called Greece.
Bring it on.9 -
Sometimes I wish my girlfriend was able to write code so we could talk and share our code and thoughts.
Sometimes I thank God she finds it the most boring thing on Earth and we get to talk about other things and decompress.13 -
After accidently broken my database, I have a Little Fun with Cortana.
I asked her if she Likes Linux.
She answered:
Linux, Unix, Tux.. I Like words ending on x. It reminds me of the Xbox.
:D2 -
My desk is as crazy as I me. It's kind of a mess but it means I'm productive. Not pictured is Tux, he's coming in the mail.
....I really like IBM hardware. 🤓
10 -
Went to an introductory session for the new version of the lousy CMS my organization uses and on the second slide of the presentation WRITTEN BY THE BIG BRITCHES OF THE IT DEPARTMENT they informed us that the CMS removes the necessity to learn languages for web programming like HTML, CSS, and Java. My first thought is "huh why would I need Java for... wait..." You could see the thoughts crossing my mind.
"Wait a minute... Who writes Java applets anymore? Java isn't.... but what if... no... they wouldn't..."
For the holy love of Bill, YOU ARE THE IT DEPARTMENT. Please don't tell me you misguided cactus-heads just mixed up JavaScript and Java on an official document you're using in presentations for everyone using the system? It hardly did anything to inspire overwhelming confidence. And even if it was handled by somebody whose entire job is to write PowerPoints for these things, who reviewed this thing? Dilbert's boss? And that wasnt even the only soul-scorching error. Sweet mother of Tux, people, I'm a student using your system, your professional presentations shouldn't make me cringe.3 -
Hating WordPress is cool these days, but:
1) Shitloads of themes for clients to choose from (I'm not good with designing and where I live you are more likely to meet a unicorn than a front-end developer that can code).
2) Non technical people can understand it's admin interface without lots of explaining.
3) Huge community makes it extremely easy to find answers even when looking for pretty specific stuff.
For me it's a valid option when making something simple.18 -
Why would someone put Scratch in their skills? Isn’t that like saying “I’m good at Tux Paint” or Windows Movie Maker?4
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I believe the next step of devRant development should be open sourcing everything and letting us help with further development.
I'm spending time here, why not help a bit too?5 -
Had a fight yesterday with my brother about which is worse Windows or Linux. Couldn't win because he's ignorant about the advantages of Linux. Still waiting for the day to come when he gets screwed and has to use Linux! (Gif for visual representation!)
32 -
So one day I come home from work and my wife meets me with a pack of these little tux-fellows!
Do I have the best wife or what!!!
12 -
I messed up carelessly in production. Learnt how SQL queries bite you in the ass when it knows you are under pressure.
Was hosting an online quiz kinda thing during my college techfest. Tens of thousands of people participating.
Using MySQL as database and thousands of queries were being executed. Everyone were pretty excited as the event just opened up.
None of the teams could solve one particular level. Turns out the solution was wrong and was asked by the organisers to change the solution for that particular level. Usual stuff, right?
Was too lazy to open up the web UI for the back office and so, straight ahead logged in to the MySQL server and ran the UPDATE query on the table consisting of the solutions.
It had been a couple of hours and the organisers came to me with a weird problem. There were no changes in the scoreboard for the last two hours. Everyone were stuck wherever they were. Weird, right?
I then realized.
Fk.
In that dreaded query, I had only run
UPDATE 'qa' SET answer = 'something'
leaving out the where clause, specifying the question to update, like
WHERE qno=13
As a result, solutions to all the questions were updated to the same answer. After hastily fixing everything back, I had the dreaded conversation.
Org: What was the problem?
Me: It was the cache.
Org: Damn thing. Always messes up.
Me: *sheepishly* yeah
Probably the most embarrassing moment in my life, wrt coding 😑4 -
My friends just got me the best birthday present ever. Always wanted a rubber duckie, never thought I'll have something even better, my own Tux - will call him Tuxy 😊🐧
8 -
Some touchscreens onboard weren't working and the flight attendants did the ol turn off and on again.
Tux seems pretty happily stuffed with herring in the corner.
3 -
I would like to thank everybody for all the ++'s
Now I can finally have my Linux savior Tux at my side <3
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Part of the commit message I wrote yesterday after discovering that I used break instead of continue to skip a foreach iteration.
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The Linux Kernel is propably the best working example for open source.
Personally I had the most exciting experiences with open source games, like Super Tux Cart, OpenTTD, 0 A.D.
Once I watched a streamer playing OpenRCT2, but the Twitch integration server, which allows to have the names of the people in chat appear in the game, was offline. Because the game is open source, I was able to have a look at the API, write my own server in a couple of hours and share it. Was a really funny stream then!
Wine is a great project, too. I really like the idea that people cooperate with each other to bypass commercial limitations and on this way be able to play their favourite games on a free operating system. -
Hi, guys! I create a new penguin. If you want it, you can find it on Github:
https://github.com/karinkasweet/...
5 -
Just added some stickers to my notebook
Lord and saviour tux will always make sure that the only kernel ever running on this notebook is the Linux kernel 🐧
Thank you devRant for the stickers and I am proud to advertise you. Please stay way it was when I got here.
4 -
Speaking of annoying stuff in coding. What the fuck is it with the localized error messages?
No. Fuck you. No. Give me the English version so I can google it and find answers from the huge English speaking community instead of the tiny community of my language.6 -
Found this while getting dog food at the feed store. Turns out https://reddit.com/r/CrappyDesign/... found it earlier this year. Because I didn’t see the GNU notice, aren’t they breaking it?
1 -
PCs are a clusterfuck these days. Microsoft has abandoned the niceness of Win-7 and opted for Win-10 - with spyware, untested forced updates and forced online licence checks to make sure you have to get the shit. Macs are total crap, and Apple doesn't care because they instead prefer to milk customers with overpriced iShit. Linux sucks and looks like a Soviet tractor, but at least, it doesn't fuck up itself just by switching it on.
I had Linux as only OS from 2001 to 2010, and while I obviously can deal with it, I finally hated it enough to switch over to Win-7. From 2020 on, it looks like I will be back because Microsoft has managed to fuck up Windows even worse (and then these suckers wonder why Github users don't trust them). Maybe I'll buy a Tux when I install Linux so that I can punch it in the face.
Progress was yesterday - today it's about damage control. Welcome to a world where the brightest CS guys are thinking about how not only to shove up even more ads into peoples' asses, but how to also transmit lab data of the poo.7 -
I am a lazy ass dev.
All I would make is a way to control my machine by thought.
I could then proceed to spend the rest of my days developing in bed, ordering food online and never having to move a single muscle ever again. -
Tinfoil hat time!
So, for this scenario we assume a world war has is in full swing, and all communications are either completely out or extremely monitored.
Additionally, no servers can be trusted and no ISPs can be trusted. Even when downloading software you cannot know if the software you got is tampered or not.
You have to send a message to a recipient you cannot physically contact, and you have to make sure him and only him get the message, otherwise nukes are deployed and we all die. The message has to arrive within 3 months or else it's too late.
Is it possible? If yes, how?17 -
Today is my second anniversary as a full time linux user.
When do I get my Tux plushie and a personal letter from Linus?4 -
@ashokramcse I bought it at the end, so sad when people ask me: Why are you wearing a club penguin gildan hoodie? 😥😥
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If you are not satisfied with the framework you have used, try to see its source code. It will surely make you feel calmed.
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What about having more pets.
I would like macots for several languages and OSes like Tux (Linux) or Gopher (Go) in front of my table on my avatar.8 -
When I was 6yo I was playing next to my dad with his old PC on a good old CRT a game called “Sperms” where you catch sperm with condoms and every time you do it made a really loud “YIPPIE” sound. I was playing this game for 4 years.
Somewhere around when I was 10 my dad told me we should build a PC and I was asking “Why does everyone has to make their own PC?”, I didn’t yet know what an cheap ass my dad is, so we did. Had a lot of fun and was very scared of the PSU, like really scared.
It blew up a few months later because I switched the toggle on the back from 220v to 110v, and got even more scared of PSU’s until I started an electricians apprentice.
Anyways, one day my dad and I where at a friends place and I played Tux Racer on his super loud Maschine that would crash if you kept the side door of the table closed, it ran some kind of Linux and I was fascinated how “simple and clean” it looks. I got a mini-cd to install it at home and immediately was hooked because the windows installation was such a pain in the arse those years. I did that all by myself just because I also wanted to play Tux Racer at home.
Anyways, somewhere right before GTA IV came out I started with VB.Net and ever since I was totally hooked and spend more time doing that than actually going to school.
My dad didn’t care and just let me do this, my mum just made sure I would have been up at least after the first lession, I don’t miss the bus and that I went to bed in a timely manner, which never happened because the PC was in my room and my mum slept downstairs and couldn’t notice that I was doing script kiddie things after an hour or so of “sleeping”.
So yeah, they didn’t care and were happy I didn’t annoy them.
Actually I didn’t wanted to become a developer because I always wanted to have it be a hobby or something and I liked woodwork more, but then people more qualified than me were more stupid than this script kiddie that still just wanted to play Tux Racer. That’s it.2 -
This is an anti-rant...
I had a problematic arch-dwm setup which i've been struggling with for a looong time, and when i thought i still needed quite some time to solve all issues, yesterday i somehow managed to hit the right solutions for each problem in a single evening. My setup is now in its most stable and usable state ever, and rsynced to a flash drive. I am no longer forced to use windows for my daily needs.
Praise be to holy gnu and holy tux! Do you think maybe i should sacrifice some electronics for the souls of st. ritchie, st. thompson, st. stallman and st. torvalds?2 -
Confession: Sometimes when I need a minute break and someone is looking at my screen I run 'tree /'1
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I am a student working on an academic project. I had put up a request for people with experience in JS to help out with the web UI. There is this girl in my class who was very excited to hear that and offered to help.
Turns out that she has developed a couple of Android apps and she thought Java is same as JavaScript.
I tried explaining her and she called me a jerk for not appreciating the help -_-8 -
i found this beauty on diaspora (in tribute to the comic artist frank franzetta)
p.s.: i asked the artist if i can use it here, but got no replies. i hope it won't be a problem for him/her.
1 -
This new season of Attack on Titan is getting more intense!!!
Also, Google Approved my Action TODAY!! :D
Check it out for yourself. It's my first action so don't be too harsh.
https://assistant.google.com/servic...
2 -
After giving up on multiple attempts to contribute to opensource projects, came to know about 'yourfirstpr' on one of the comments here.
Long story short, a week later and I've made my first pull request to libgit which has been merged :)
Thanks DevRant community 😊2 -
Browsers are really terrible with printing.
This is annoying when building web apps for internal use in businesses.
There should be a JavaScript way to select (or at least ask the user to confirm) what is printed on the borders of the page instead of the standard date, time, url, page x of x.4 -
If no one has asked your question on StackOverflow, chances are there is a typo right in front of your eyes and you are missing it.1
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Writing 20k lines of code and finally during compilation more numbers of errors....Life ends here....
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Not sure if someone posted this already, but on https://stickermule.com/unixsticker... there's currently a deal for 10 laptop stickers for one dollar.2
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Was just at my nieces swimming lesson and there was a sticker of tux on the wall, was resisting the urge to ask if the pool was licenced under GNU
(Would have taken a photo but not really a place to be taking photos) -
Ok I take back what I said about having luck with hardware and software sometimes, why is it so fucking difficult to setup a linux distribution with your home directory on a seperate drive... Just why...
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ Tux be with me
(Please feel free to enlighten me if you are aware of a way I can do this)8 -
I once thought writing huge lines of code makes it tough and messy, when i was learning Java.
Then I met with BrainFuck...
Name is trully justified. -
Lunchtime mail delivery brought me some decorative goodies! devRant looks right at home on my XPS 13 with the EFF, Tux, and company! Thanks for the stickers and this wonderfully witty community.
3 -
Anybody knows the Kysoh Tux Droid?
Got one here and need to know if there is some market for those gadgets. How to find out what it is worth?
For those who don't know: It's a penguin which can be connected to the computer via the fish dongle. It is able to move the body, the wings and the eyes. Furthermore it can speak (via TTS) and the wings are buttons.
(Image is fom ParamountZone.com)
1 -
!rant
Hello all, I'm not too experienced with open sourcing code, so here is my first attempt with a small script that initiates a phone call using php.
If someone has the time, please let me know what you think, any important things I'm missing or any advice you might have.
Thank you devRanters!
https://gist.github.com/anpel/...4 -
Worked with Linux for a few years, now I need to write something for Windows so I installed and got to it.
God the pathing hurts my eyes. -
Drupal I'm seriously about to lose my shit.
I want to show one fucking image and one fucking title in my own custom markup.
Feels like I'm trying to create and launch a fucking nuclear weapon.3 -
!rant
Frontend people, I need your opinion.
I will soon start building the next version of a rather large project's frontend but I am mostly a backend guy.
It is a custom made web application (PHP, Postgres) that handles all business aspects of a shipping company of about 50 people (trucks, truck free space in shipments for new packages, package tracking via gps on the truck, invoicing, reselling shipping services to other businesses, everything).
The existing frontend is using an ancient version (1.x) of the YUI framework and uses AJAX heavily to refresh the user interface. It's usable, but maintaining and extending it is getting really hard as the project grows larger and larger and more systems are integrated.
So the question is, given this use case, what JS framework do I use and what is a good resource to start learning it?5 -
Where can I get a keyboard that a tux is drawn on the start button instead of the four little windows boxes3
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Open file with Atom on remote server via FTP.
Edit at will, hit save and BOOM. Now you have an empty file. -
Till today, me along with another one guy were the only Tux users in the office. Just now, one of my colleague saw how easily and quickly I get various tasks done and got impressed. He said he is getting a new laptop next week and wants this. He is already frustrated with the lag in Windows and the infamous Windows updates. I gave him a pretty good review and he asked me if I could help him install Ubuntu on his new laptop when he gets it 😃
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I spent a few days being mean to my LMDE4 and newly installed LMDE5 and Debian in past months. Every time I needed to run something small&simple under linux, it was acting up. Traces, botched boots, OS freezing up...
The issue was in VirtualBox the whole time and recent update finally fixed it.
Sorry for blaming you Tux -
I have a php background and just got hired at an agency that works with Drupal 8. I have a month to prepare, can anyone suggest me any good resources?
Most things I find online cover what is different between Drupal 7 and Drupal 8 and are completely useless to me since I've never worked with 7.3 -
Anyone with Drupal experience out there? I got hired at an agency that uses it and I'm super nervous. Any ideas?
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After few weeks I got back to an Electron app. Rebuilt the thing, copied fresh binaries to a Win 10 VM, and the app doesn't even start, it instantly crashes. Literally nothing changed - libraries (and their versions) are same, source code is the same, node version is same, it was built on same machine, VM wasn't even started since then.
Tried a fresh Tux binary, and of course it runs fine.
God, I hate Windows. 😩2
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