Our university syllabus is so outdated, we are forced to do C programs in TurboC.
So we install Dosbox on Windows 8 machines...
1 upvote = 1 prayer

A prayer of protection 😂 😂 😂

Happy Holidays 🤓😂

Stop these stereotypes against programmers.

1 like = 1 prayer

100x better than the original :)

Overheard a phone call between the Senior Network Engineer and a contracted Printer-company at 9am this morning. Photocopier was giving a 'functional error' message on-screen and not printing;

N.E:
I logged this call last
Thursday afternoon. Thats 1.5 days of the photocopier not working on our busiest site! Where's the engineer??
.... yes, that's the error message.
Yes, i can log into it, you should have the IP address from the call.
Yes, it's obviously pinging too.
Yes.... we've power-cycled the printer multiple times...
yes, tried that too...
yes, I've unplugged the network cable as well... left it for 15 minutes.
... sorry. What?
What did you say?
Are you f***ing kidding me?
Would you also like me to rub the side of the f***ing machine, and say a prayer while I'm at it??
*takes a deep breath*
Fine, I'll do that but when it doesn't work, i want someone out on the site before lunchtime today!
*slams phone down angrily*

N.E to me as he stomps out of the office;
He wants me to get the user to unplug the network cable and do a power cycle. How the f**k is that going to help? Idiots! Don't know why we have a contract with them, i could do a better job!!!

*comes back into office 5 minutes later*

Me: did it fix it?
NE: yeah. Damn.
*leaves room again to make apologetic phonecall*

Between plague and smoke, spending way too much time indoors. Localised co2 got pretty high in the office my husband and I share and opening the windows is dicey during giant spider season even before the wildfires.

So as a result, I'm starting a little indoor garden in each room. The succulent are going to be hydro, and the prayer and snake plant will get soil so I have some place to dump my coffee grinds other than the rose garden. In the next month or so we also want to set up some living moss panels to help control the nitrogen balance.

And of course, obligatory rpi sensor suite and irrigation is inbound as well. That'll be a shared project. 😸

God.use(Prayer);

Programmer's prayer

The last person who might have taken offense at this recently quit, so time for a consequence-free rant. I just want to say...

Fuck absolutely every single one of my teammates who quit this year. Fuck your shitty, undocumented spaghetti code from hell that the rest of us will have to rewrite because it's utterly broken and functions mostly on prayer and luck. Fuck the 1000+ git repos we'll have to rename so we can even begin to tell them apart. Fuck your complete lack of any sort of processes or procedures or standards. Fuck the person who hated tickets and decided we could just have hundreds of people ask us for help on Slack whenever they need it. Fuck the people who quit because we got a new manager who told us we need to support the applications we build. Fuck the person who said "I'm leaving because I want to move forwards instead of backwards" as if fixing bugs in the code YOU WROTE TWO WEEKS AGO is really moving backwards. Fuck the two people who designed their own separate pipelines and then used both without bothering to debate and pick the better one (spoiler: both are completely undocumented and broken as hell).

I hope your various new employers figure out that your strategy of covering shit with gold paint doesn't change the smell.

Now the rest of us have to fix it all, and we're probably going to start by demolishing most of it so we can rebuild it from scratch.

Dear DevRant Gods,

Please let me filter out the pokemon go posts.

It is getting out of hand!

I'll behave for the rest of the year, I promise. I can either have one less present at Christmas, if that's what it takes!

With rant,

fredrf_

It's weird that this is the community where I'd be posting this, however.

After 16 years of smoking, I tried to quit smoking yesterday.

boi oh boi it is hard 😂 but 2nd day smoke free so far.

From past experiences, I'm almost past the hardest part.

I decided to quit with the first day of lent to have a bit of an extra motivation so if you're into prayer, prayers and good whishes are appreciated

Look i have new space for new sticker
Hmmp

Im thinking devRant sticker would be there.
Help me to reach this post 20 +++

1 like = 1 prayer
Haha
😂😂😂

I have this interesting client who likes to end the weekly call with a prayer. Once he asked if I wanted to lead the prayer. I said, “No I’m good thanks. You should do it.”

Really fed up with my colleague and possibly my job. Am starting to doubt am cut out to be a developer

Am a junior java dev , been working working for this company for about 2 years now. Although they hired me to be a java dev, they pretty much exclusively had me working on JavaScript crap because none of the other more senior devs wanted to do even so much as poke JS with a long stick....

Oh and the salary was crap but i figured since i had barely 3 years of exp i thought i would stick with it for a while

But a few months ago after seeing other opportunities I got fed up and threatened to quit , already started interviewing etc
Got an offer, not exactly what i wanted but better than where i was. Went to quit but they freaked out and started throwing money at me. They matched and exceed the other salary and promised to addressed the issues that made me want to leave. Ie get me to work more on the java side of the project and have me work with someone more senior who could sort of mentor me, i had been working semi solo on the js shit till then...

The problem is that my supposed mentor is selfish prick... he is the sort of guy who comes in real early, basically he goes to early morning prayer then come in at some ungodly hour and fuckoff home around 3pm

He does all his work early morning then spends the rest of the day with his headphones on stealthily watching youtube, amazon, watching cricket, reading about Palestine , how oppressed muslims are or building a website for some mosque.

I asked him to let me sit with him so that I could just learn how this or that part of the sys worked , he agreed then the very next day comes in and does all the work before i get in at 9 , i asked him how he did it and he tells me oh just read the code.

Its not as simple as that, out codebase is an old pile of non standard legacy dog shit. Nothing works as it should, i tried to go through documentation online for the various stuff we use , but invariably get stuck when i try the usual approach because it turns out the original devs had essentially done a lot of custom hacks and cowboy coding to get stuff working, they screwed around with some of the framework jars & edited libraries to get stuff to work, resulting in some really weird OSGI errors.

My point is that i cant really just "read the code" or google ...
I gotta know a bit more what was actually modified and a lot of this knowledge isn't fucking documented, theres a lot of " ohhh that weird bug yeah yeah that happens cuz x did this hack some years ago to fix this issue and we kinda built on it, yeah we weren't supposed to do that but heyyy what u gonna do, just do this or that instead"

I was asked to set up a web service to export something, since thats his area of expertise and he is suppose to be teaching me the ropes, i asked him to explain where i should start and what would the general workflow be, his response is to tell me to just copy the IMPORT service and rename it to export then "just do it um change it or something" very helpful indeed (building enterprise application here nothing complex at all!!)

He sits right next to me so i can see how much works he actually does, i know when he just idly sitting there so thats when i ask him questions, he always has his earphones on so each time i gotta find a way to get his attention with a poke or a wave, he will give a heavy sigh and a weary look as he removes his headphones, listen to my question then give me the shortest answer possible before IMMEDIATELY turning away and putting his headphones on as fast as possible regardless of whether I actually understood or even heard what he said. If i ask another question ( am talking like an immediate follow up question for a clarification or something) he will
Do the whole sigh + tired look routing to make me know yeah you are disturbing me. ( god was so happy the day he accidentally sat on and broke them)

Yesterday i caught a glance at his screen as i was sitting down and i think he and another dev were talking about me
That am slow with my work and take forever to get into gear.

Starting to have doubts about my own ability n wether am really cut out to be a developer. I know i can work hard but its impossible to do so when you have no clue where to start and unable to look it up since all the custom hacks doesn't really allow any frame of reference.
Feels like am being handicapped and mocked, yesterday i just picked up my gear n left the office.

I never talk ill about my colleagues, whenever i have a 121 with my mgr i always all is fine, x n y are really helpful etc
I tried to indirectly tell my other colleague about this guy, he told me that guy had kinda mentally checked out of this job and was just going through on auto pilot and just laughed it off (they have been working together for almost a decade and a buddies) my other colleague is pretty nice but he usually swamped with work so i feel bad to trouble him.

Am really Fed up with it all

A few days ago, in my windows machine, I was looking at the Task manager's processes. I was like, "I don't need Cortana. It is using so much RAM already. Why not delete it?"
So, I used "Iobit Unlocker" to force delete Cortana & everything seemed okay. But after 1 day, creating new folder option is gone. Now I have to use CMD and MKDIR to create new folders.
The start menu search is also gone (I guess, That's what Cortana was for).
My context menu became buggy. Some menus show sometimes, sometimes don't. "Open with VS code" option is also gone sometimes.
I don't know what will happen next.
Keep my "Windows machine" in your prayer :/

!dev rant, but dev company rant (if that makes sense)

<sarcasm>
I love my company's HR, she is such a wonderful and caring woman.
</sarcasm>

<rant>
'Breng' (a public transit company in the Netherlands) was on strike today, so I couldn't go to work. No problem I thought, I'll just work from home. So I send a screenshot to the HR where you could see that every train was canceled.

A few moments later I get a message back saying that I should wait for the next train (although you could see on the screenshot that said train was also canceled)

Now I finally have a train to go to work... After sitting an hour in the cold... And I already see the smile on her face when I arrive at work...
</rant>

<prayer>
Please trains keep driving so I can go home tonight...
</prayer>

Yes, I have got one to tell. I went to a hackathon where they started the hackathon with a spiritual speech and prayer. They didn't provide any WiFi, food, etc.
There was a canteen in the campus, which got closed in the evening by 7 o clock. The timings were not announced before so we worked whole night with empty stomach. Did I mention one was not allow to go outside the campus during the hackathon? And yes one was not allowed to order food from outside.

I hope and wish that a big company will support/back up VueJS. Maybe then VueJS can be commonly seen as a job requirement.

Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk?

Mary Christmas to all of you and remember not to connect to production when you’re drunk.

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen

It's Sunday. A day for prayer. Today I am praying that others dont mess up the code base when I get to work on Monday. Amen.

garbage collectors' lifestyle matters!

Ever eyeballed the abyss of your memory leaks? Shit, garbage collectors deserve a raise.

Unsung heroes, janitorialing thru that VM like a dung beetle, silently fucking up your perf so you can do that delicious spaghetti. Indiana-jonesing the fuck out of that memory trash can and euthanizing all that disgusting heap of pointers hanging, dangling, like... well, like garbage.

At the very least they're deterministic, unlike that Markov chain we all had the displeasure of fucking up. Amen? Amen! 🙌🏻

You gotta wonder, though, what goes through their nuggin. Do they reminisce about the potential of that half-ass-written class? Do they weep for the elegance of a forgotten function bottlenecking their job? Nah, probably just counting down the nanoseconds till their next full GC cycle. Aaah, like cold beer in Saturday barbecue.

So next time your program miraculously avoids a memory error, take a moment, put your hands up in the air and say a prayer to your garbage collector.

Silently covering for your fuckups

Did you know that "Chief Prayer Officer" is an actual role in some companies?

It just so happens that our IT partners have a CPO and the very same company forgot to install Antivirus software on our servers... I guess the servers are protected by God™. 😅

I just want you to know that bon Jovi's "livin' on a prayer" never gets past being halfway there. They never even get to 3/4ths the way there.

In the story of adam and eve, when eve bit the apple, all of evil and chaos has entered the world

Fast forward today, the phone we use every day has an apple logo on it, and its even a bitten apple

The way how we hold this phone with two hands, almost like "🙏" prayer symbol, is actually a symbol of prayer, but prayer to the bitten apple, which is the devil

Coincidence or programming?

The programmer's prayer

My roommate is a hardcore apple fan boy. Me and my other roommate use windows so we actually installed windows on his Mac.

He later passed out.........

1 like = 1 prayer.

Week end prayer for Infrastructure folks...

Tonight begins the holiest day of the year for Jews, Yom Kippur. I'm about to embark on a 25 hour fast, no food, no water. I'll be in a prayer house for 15+ hours, literally begging God to let me live for another year.

Meanwhile, I'm set back in my classes 150+ hours of potential work time thanks to all the Jewish holidays this month. Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, Simchat Torah, and Rosh Hashanah.

Being Jewish is fun T_T

I hate this feeling.

Changing stuff with a greamripers scythe around my neck called doubt because the available data isn't too convincing.

Then having to go big or nothing as it is an ecosystem change (e.g. changing the cipher suites of TLS, changing protocol - e.g. HTTP 1.1 to 2) so it needs to be consistent as otherwise fun stuff could happen (fun as in the grim reaper cuts off my neck except a few centimeters and plays "now your head is off, now your head is on" ).

To top it off - just few seconds after the change has happened people coming up in the support channel.

My hands are - mysteriously - not sweaty then. Rather cold.

Lil prayer to the heavens and getting the whiskey bottle...

Opening an ongoing discussion in support channel....

And they're discussing whether the page needs to have an additional arrow for going back to the last page or if the default page navigation is enough.

Constantly using @all so everyone gets pissed off due to being pinged every few seconds in a channel that was meant for emergency support.

Now my hands go from a dark red to a bright red, my nostrils flare out, my adrenaline goes through the roof and I literally wanna murder people....

Those days.

I hate those days.

And I hate the timing of some people...

Like they're deliberately fucking with me without knowing it, like the universe told them explicitly to do so just to fuck with me.

*gooozfraba*

And of course, everything else is fine and running smooth like butter, except that said discussion now goes on in a total flamewar so I get even more pings.

Sucks to be in management.

You have way to many rooms where people can annoy you.

To top it off - after being grumpy and pissed and angry for people just annoying the fuck out of me, I have to mediate.

Yeah. Cause the usual person is on vacancy.

*slowly strangling the whiskey bottle like homer does with bart*

Turns out after 15 mins listening to enraged UX designer vs Frontend Team Lead that UX designer meant a completely different thing - uploaded wrong screenshot, whole discussion was unnecessary.

*Nah. Fuck it. Drinking whiskey*

Reminding everyone what the fucking frigging support channel is meant for and that penis fights aka who got the longest schlong don't belong there....

"Yeah it was a mistake, but it wasn't so bad"
...

You pinged fucking 32 people like it was the end of the world, you ignorant fucktwads.

For over 5 mins.

For fucking frigging nothing except your tiny dicks and shitty egos.

*Second round of whiskey*

Back to work after a wasted half hour.

What says monitoring?

Ah. Everything's working.

At least luck hasn't failed me.

Good server. Brave server.

Then I hear this lil voice in my head: no.

The servers know your personality.

They're afraid. Terrified.

Somehow that thought makes me giggle always...

Childish? Maybe. But it helps on those days.... Funnily enough, remaining 3 hours noone said anything in any chat channel.

"I wonder why, I wonder how...."... *hum*

I want to teach you two peacekeeping methods that can help you diffuse difficult situations.
Method 1: before engaging in a heated internet argument, ask yourself: “What is my absolutely best case scenario endgame here?”
To me, it’s often something like “Yes, you’re right, my entire life up to this point was a lie, I will read everything you wrote as a prayer every night to strive to be like you in every way.” Yes, this will definitely make my day, but in the grand scheme of things I won’t care. So why settle for less? The grand prize of this special olympics isn’t worth the effort.
Method 2: reading the intent. When you feel uncomfortable talking to someone, ask yourself: “What is their intent? Why are they saying me this?”
If the intent is to tear you down, see method 1. Anyone can be fooled, no exceptions. You losing an argument doesn’t diminish who you are, at all. If you fear it will, then work with your fear directly. It probably has nothing to do with this one argument.
If the intent is to help you, but they don’t know how to explain it without sounding hostile, then discard their tone. Read the message, accept it and tell them “Yes, you’re right, I get what you’re saying.”
Saying “I was wrong” immediately makes people perceive you as brave. It’s the virtue of strong people to be able to admit defeat.

yesterday i tried prayer to remove the bug, after 10 hours i was lead to the path which solved it
might your time 😁

A prayer from a colleague:

Our silicone god which art in the SSD
Italic be thy name
Thy computing come
Thy bus be done
On the screen
As it is on the hdd
Give us this day our daily blue screen
And forgive us our keystrokes, as we
forgive our keyboards.
And lead us not into restarts, but
deliver us from memory leaks: For thine is the
memory, and the cpu, and the
bus, for ever. Amen

Beautiful is it not :)

Why do we need PA system to prayer? Does the God not hear our voice without PA ?

i think you all know about YouTube and its super power "Recommended for You"... like when some stupid friend sends you a my little pony video and you just can't get rid of it... Well just a few minutes ago this friend of mine sent me some weird japanese video s**t with battleships and flying girls shooting at each other enjoying it...
Please send a prayer or two for me I'm going to need it

In the end, Subjugation armor is a notable set for magical (prayer) users. You'll be combating some other boss to obtain it, however in case you've been fighting on the God Wars Dungeon already, it's probably a piece of cake: defeat K'ril Tsutsaroth and his bodyguards in this God Wars Dungeon. Take the armor set right after they've been eliminated. You can increase your protection until stage 70.

How a great deal does a RuneScape Membership price? Subscription & advantages defined

If you're planning to spend some time and effort to Runescape and you're the desire to join one of the clubs. This is everything you want to understand approximately the cost of a club membership in Runescape. Runescape is now a powerful MMOPRG due to the fact its Miniclip starting point, and has grown its lore and gameplay exponentially. While the popular Jagex-advanced gaming can nevertheless be performed without cost, there are plenty of sweets you can purchase for buying a club.
RS gold ( Buy OSRS Gold , RS3 Gold ) for sale. Instant delivery, always full stock, 24/7 support Buy RS GP at RSorder - guaranty of the cheapest trade.