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@tosensei do you wanna be viewed as brave?
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1: I'll get to find out new information the other person knows
I'll get to have some witty fun conceptually
I'll get to find out new information from how the other person acts and evolves over time from various things I say, and understand perhaps them but also the nature of the human condition better which then I can use to inform my own biases and decision making processes in the future
I like arguing -
2: I can't tell people's intents and asking people their intents in the past it seems they don't think about their intentions before they do things anyway, and if they feel guilty of what they find they will lie to you and continue to be shitty human beings, and this can snowball into a full-blown personality complex if you keep pressing on it and they can't take responsibility
I do not like people who intend to harm others. it's quite obvious to notice them. there is no guessing necessary. if everything they ever do makes others' lives worse, they at best just don't think of other people and are very selfish, or they actively love harming other people. I've seen humans _get happy_, literally hop on the balls of their feet. if they felt bad or stressed, they would go make someone else feel bad, then hop around all happy. it surprised me others did not notice this though -
@jestdotty i don't give a flying fuck how people view me, so....
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@tosensei ah, so you've given up
I want to teach you two peacekeeping methods that can help you diffuse difficult situations.
Method 1: before engaging in a heated internet argument, ask yourself: “What is my absolutely best case scenario endgame here?” To me, it’s often something like “Yes, you’re right, my entire life up to this point was a lie, I will read everything you wrote as a prayer every night to strive to be like you in every way.” Yes, this will definitely make my day, but in the grand scheme of things I won’t care. So why settle for less? The grand prize of this special olympics isn’t worth the effort.
Method 2: reading the intent. When you feel uncomfortable talking to someone, ask yourself: “What is their intent? Why are they saying me this?”
If the intent is to tear you down, see method 1. Anyone can be fooled, no exceptions. You losing an argument doesn’t diminish who you are, at all. If you fear it will, then work with your fear directly. It probably has nothing to do with this one argument.
If the intent is to help you, but they don’t know how to explain it without sounding hostile, then discard their tone. Read the message, accept it and tell them “Yes, you’re right, I get what you’re saying.”
Saying “I was wrong” immediately makes people perceive you as brave. It’s the virtue of strong people to be able to admit defeat.
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