garbage collectors' lifestyle matters!

Ever eyeballed the abyss of your memory leaks? Shit, garbage collectors deserve a raise.

Unsung heroes, janitorialing thru that VM like a dung beetle, silently fucking up your perf so you can do that delicious spaghetti. Indiana-jonesing the fuck out of that memory trash can and euthanizing all that disgusting heap of pointers hanging, dangling, like... well, like garbage.

At the very least they're deterministic, unlike that Markov chain we all had the displeasure of fucking up. Amen? Amen! 🙌🏻

You gotta wonder, though, what goes through their nuggin. Do they reminisce about the potential of that half-ass-written class? Do they weep for the elegance of a forgotten function bottlenecking their job? Nah, probably just counting down the nanoseconds till their next full GC cycle. Aaah, like cold beer in Saturday barbecue.

So next time your program miraculously avoids a memory error, take a moment, put your hands up in the air and say a prayer to your garbage collector.

Silently covering for your fuckups