"Can you make it pop more..."

A moment of silence please, for the same fucking, irritating word that every goddamn Joe, Jim and Jenny uses for describing how a site should look. What the hell is pop supposed to mean, you want an epilepsy warning I'll put some popping lights and nausea inducing Nyan cats across your screen. You want it to pop more, sure no problem...

There's a window over there, go fucking throw your PC out of it.

Went to a friends house and the mother said "Hey, you're a professional with computers. How do you download a song on SoundCloud?" - How the fuck should I know, did I make the websute? Shit.

They arrived, thanks devRant!

As a programmer my girlfriend thought I did web design.

Me: If I did web design it'd come with a label saying ~---{Made in China}.

I just started work school doing IT administration and development, I was excited, almost nervously anticipating to see the wondrous things I'd being learning and the kickass programs I'd be creating...

Alas I walked into my first lesson and...

Teacher: Today we're going to be learning how to make a square in Excel using VBR.

I thought, well fuck no - I didn't sign up for this shit. Then today I was on this thing called the internet, have you guys tried it? Amazing stuff, I saw a panda dressed as Chuck Norris... Anyway, I was on the internet and found out about this 73 year old man who makes full-sized artworks made in Excel.

Now I know the meaning to life, to Excel programming... It's official, I'm going to make Picasso in Excel.

*Light sarcasm, actual true story.*

The more you learn languages like Javascript and Python, the more you realise that while every syntax differs, they're all essentially themes of the same if, else or and, type statements... This leads me to believe that with enough practice, it's possible to shortcut or pick up a new language progressively faster. Or am I just a melon?

So my boss told be about this game, try it out the next time you have an office party with other developers. It goes like this... You all sit around a table with shots ready to drink at your disposal, each person takes a turn and must simply say a noun, it can be anything. The next person must then Google the noun + '.js' added to the end, if the library exists, that person must drink a shot. Continue until everyone is sufficiently in a vegetated state. Good luck!

Autoformat. My boss hates it when I use it, he tells me if I do it again I'll get some pain. Namely because autoformat mixed in with code changes is ugly, that's understandable. But he's barred me from using it entirely, although I find it useful when working in Python or CSS... So to circumvent this I make a separate commit with "cleanup", however I sometimes forget to do this... I know I've forgotten, because my boss calls my name from the room next door. I get up, step inside his office and - "Don't use f****** autoformat!". Well FML.

When you marvel at your code creation and the beauty of your envisionment only to be painfully whittled down as your boss tells you to change it all, because he doesn't like how the code looks. Joys of being a junior developer!