Today I presented a client with their new website.

Feedback from the owner was "I fucking love it".
Got a cash bonus and a bottle of champagne before leaving.

Today was a good day!

My GF just selected all files on her harddrive and clicked "Open".

The look at her face when she figured out what she have done.

BONUS: She restarts her computer, and upon start she selects Yes to the "Your computer shutdown unexpected, would you like to re-open the applications" popup 😂

One time a company I worked for tried to fuck me over and not pay me the referral fee that was promised for referring an employee. They hired the person I referred for a position that was advertised as having a referral fee paid after 6 months.

After the 6 months were up, I went in to HR to ask when I could expect to see the money, and they said “oh, you’re not eligible to receive the referral bonus because we hired so and so as a contractor (full-time) instead of an actual full-time employee.” And I was like... fuck that shit, they never mentioned that to me and I didn’t burn a referral lead so they could hire the person as a contractor and avoid paying me the advertised fee. I was absolutely livid and couldn’t believe it after I had been expecting this money for 6 months.

I felt cheated and none of my colleagues at the company could believe they’d stoop so low to not pay a highly-valued employee an advertised referral bonus. I had lots of battles with management over it, and eventually ended up with a portion of the promised fee, but not the whole thing.

Client: I love the site and will sign your contract today. I'll even give you a bonus since you got it done early. Can you put it up there this evening?

Me: I'm so glad that you liked it. I'll bring a condom with me all filled out and ready to go so we can push it up there.

Me: Contract. Damned phone

Client: please leave the condom at home

What's your worst autocorrect with a client?

Loved the first project at the university. Your game had to load a map from txt file and create a labirynth with a player inside. It shoud include a bird's eye view and FPS-like - all using only console characters. There were some bonus points - for example for animation or built-in map editor. (language was C)

1. Have some issue with my code which spits out cryptic compiler error.

2. Ask on stack overflow, Reddit, etc for a solution.

3. Get scolded at for "not reading the documentation" and "asking questions which could be answered by just Googling". Still no clue what I'm doing wrong, or what the solution would be.

4. Find someone else's vaguely related problem.

5. Post my problematic code as the answer, with arrogant comment about OP being a retard for not figuring that out for themselves.

6. A dozen angry toxic nerds flock in to tell me how retarded and wrong I am, correcting me... solving my original problem.

7. Evil plan succeeded, my code compiles, and as a bonus I made the internet a worse place in the process.

I think if you tell a bunch of autistic neckbeards that "all coronaviruses are fundamentally incurable", you'd have a vaccine within a week.

PM: That screwdriver you built me is really nice. I like how it works with all screws and bolts, does the work itself, etc., but I simply can’t get it to paint, and I really need it to cut my sandwich. Can it cut my sandwich?

PM: Also, since you finished it, the neighbor’s can opener doesn’t work, my dog got fleas, and our screw supplier ran into shipping issues. Fix these ASAP!

Bonus:
Also, remember that hack I forced you to do despite you telling me it wouldn’t work? Yeah it isn’t working. You need to fix that too.

Something that I'm utterly ashamed of.

Had to add text message and call communication functionality in one of the products.

Boss shrunk the deadline to two days ETA.

Didn't know jackshit about twilio.

Meeting with client:

Client - So the communication thing is done right?
Me - Yyeahhh
Client - Let's try it then. *Calls himself*
Me - *Calls the API directly from my phone*

Client got out happy. Nobody knows what actually happened there. I didn't even talk to my colleagues about this. Boss gave me bonus to pull of the impossible. I added the feature after a week of the incident.

Not a rant! 😁
For the first time in 21 years, ya girl landed herself a job!
It's a part-time paid internship to work at the IT help-desk for a company. Not hugely glamorous, but for the first job in my whole life, I am pretty excited & happy 😊
And as an extra bonus, my partner got the job too!! Yay :)

>be me
>graduate
>find job with a start-up
>offer me 1% share as signup bonus
>why the hell not
>make 50 dollars/hour
>lowkey they didn't give me any real work
>only had to write some simple ass JS functions for the website
>asked boss to work from home
>he accepted
>tfw i get paid to play games, watch tv shows and write the occasional shitty ass piece of code for 50 dollars/hour
>that's about 1 AAA game/hour

Stay in school. Get your degree, kids.

Drinking game: Take a shot whenever you’re staring at work and don’t feel like working.

Bonus game: try not to die or get fired.

Manager A : "You've done a great job, you'll get a X raise"
Manager A: "I was not able to negotiate it, but you'll get a X bonus to compensate for it"
*Manager A leave the society*
Manager B: "A bonus? Never heard of it"
Me : Resign.

I'm hiring and I'm fucking done with recruiters buttering up skills etc and sending me BS candidates.

Interview earlier today...
CV: MySql skill level 10 (out of 10)
Reality: Can't write a simple JOIN!

Yesterday...
CV: PHP 6+ years exp, self proclaimed ninja/jedi/oracle.
Reality:
[Me]: Write me a function to map an array to x.
[Ninja]: What's an array?

I've come to the conclusion that the type of dev I want on my team is highly unlikely to be looking for work much less using some piece of shit shady agent to find work so I need to hunt him / her down personally and can use the phenomenally large recruiters fee as a hiring bonus / incentive.

Only problem now is finding quality full stack devs in the area (Johannesburg, South Africa).

I'm thinking of posting a 'challenge' job add to filter out good candidates - some kind of code challenge to be solved that gives them my contact info. Any one have any creative ideas I could try?

My summer internship adventures

Cunt Boss: you will receive salary and a bonus at the end of the project
Me: *works for 3 months*
Cunt Boss: *sends 60 fucking euros to my bank account*
Me: is that just the bonus?
Cunt Boss: oh I'm sorry, we have some financial troubles here and that's all I can give you

Thanks! Now I can buy you a dildo so you can go fuck yourself

Happened with anyone?

Bonus points if the person asking me to write tests is a direct contributor to the feature and he's low-key asking me to cover his code.

Fuck ever working for a company that doesn't know shit about the worth of a developer ever again.
> be me
> just got my first class masters in Soft Eng that I worked hard as fuck to get
> get a job for a pretty well known medical company here
> offered a bit less than what I was expecting but fuck it, it's a job straight out of uni doing what I want to do
> fuckitwhynot.mp4
> stay for a year with no bonus programme, no pay review, no objectives, no perks, literally fuck all
> see literally every other position in the company be promoted and actually supported from IT & the developers
> feelsBoomerMan.jpg
> get the hail mary recruiter "you'd be great for this role" linked in DM
> follow it through and go to the interview
> nailed it
> comes to negotiating a starting salary and they actually laugh at my current rate and immediately raise it by about 30% with bonuses, reviews and all that shit occurring regularly
> later virgins

sucking cock is also a bonus

Why can’t motherfuckers look where they’re going?

Went to the petrol station to put some more air in my tyres.

Some old dude was reversing out of a parking spot and had turned left so was now reversing along th back of the other parked cars.

I pulled into the car park, saw Home reversing and stopped, he was well clear of other cars, but he kept going back, I gave a little toot toot of the horn, but he decided to keep going and hit me.

It’s not the end of the world, and his insurance will cover it, but it will knack my no claims bonus.

Fucking Sunday’s, I shit ‘em

At a former job, the company decided to replatform to Salesforce. The entire dev team was laid off. But it would take an outside agency a year to build the Salesforce site. The company wanted the devs to stay for an additional year.

The only severance was something they called a stay bonus. It was 30% of our gross income but it was still contingent on performance. And if they decide to let you go earlier, it gets prorated if you still qualify for the bonus. Not a good deal.

Each month a dev left. By the time I secured a new job and left, all that remained of the dev team was a junior frontend dev and two team leads (one FE and one BE) with no team to lead. Well, there were contractors, but they were only brought on after the Salesforce replatform announcement. I’m pretty sure the company had to hire even more contractors. No idea how much that cost them.

For me, I think it was serendipitous that I gave notice during their busiest time of year. They actually tried asking me to extend my notice. Karma was coming back to bite them. Not just for the Salesforce thing. But also for their lack of support when I was blindly accused of being both insubordinate and incompetent.

Don’t you love when you put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into a company and then you get fired because your wife got a flat tire and you had to go help fix it?

When I got to this company they were not using version control, had no tooling in place, and most of our day was spent merging projects by hand and going through a long process to deploy our applications (this company is a primarily Salesforce company).

I got everyone using git and built a node client to transpile JavaScript and SASS, lint code, package everything together, and deploy it to Salesforce. Productivity jumped and the amount of time all of us spent merging code by hand dropped significantly.

A few weeks after finishing this CLI I was moved to another team and subsequently let go because I had to leave early to help my wife fix a flat tire. Now I am freelancing and actually doing pretty damn well for myself. Bonus: I no longer have to work with the disaster that is Salesforce!

Third time I Miss my metro station because i'm reading rants.. Yep devRant is awesome 😊

Them: "How is that low priority feature request coming along?"
Me: "It's almost done, a bunch of higher priority things delayed me. It should come live sometime tomorrow"
Them: "It better do"
Me: "Oh did I say tomorrow? I meant next week."

Fuck your attitude. You won't die not having your "saves 15" minutes a day feature for a few more days while some people can't work at all before I fix a major bug. You're not even my manager.

Bonus: overheard him talking shit about me working too slow later that day too.

Every single fucking time:

Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!

half a year later:

Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
Developers: ...

Hello devRant, i think this is my first story here, but i want share my happiness with you.
After working 1 year as C# dev and no reaction of my current company to my claims:
I get a job with 25% more pay, christmas and vacation bonus und 5 more holidays!
Holy fuck that`s so cool.
Hope you guys have a good week!
Please excuse my english skills ;-)

Previous job:
- Every dev needs to connect to a remote server, and do the coding there because the bosses are afraid that we will "steal" their legacy spaghetti written by the CTO in 2006 (the current year was 2016-2017).
- There are no QAs, because "why do you devs need mommy to look after your codes?"
- Bosses think it's our duty to stay extra hours without overtime payment while talking bullshit about a culture that promotes work life balance. You receive no bonus for staying late, but if you leave work 15 minutes early, HR will have a serious talk with you the next day.
- Bosses require "evidence" when you submit a leave request. For example, you tell them you're taking a vacation, they'll ask you for a copy of airline tickets, hotel bookings, etc.
- Bosses spend a ton on hosting parties for the customers while we're using 6-7 year-old laptops
- The CEO loves firing people for ridiculous reasons. Once he considered firing a guy because the way he walks is funny

I really like my little group for this one huge exam project we have. Everyone's nice, ambitious, takes the project seriously, responsible and communicates well. Additional bonus is we're all on the same skill level so everyone's learning and nobody is dragging a huge load alone. We've had no issues so far and despite being fairly early in the project we're making good progress all around. Is this what a stress-free experience feels like? Pretty happy with the project in general and I think our app idea is pretty cool too.

Salesperson makes commission on sales, CTO gets bonus for going to out of office meetings, designer gets bonus for every design finished. What does the web developer get?

Answer: "we can't afford to give out bonuses just for doing your job."

There are 10 websites to build in the next 6 months, 3 brand new offices in different states that need it equipment ordered and installed by me, and the other 160 clients who all think their edits are most important.

And to top it all off, every time I give an estimate for the work, boss says "just give it to them." Gee, maybe you could afford to pay me a living wage or incentivize me to keep working 6+ hours a night at home if you stopped giving away everything I build for free.

You lower the value of my work and every other web developer out there when you tell clients that the website I built them isn't worth paying for. If every one of the free sites on my list was just charged the minimum $10k, I'm looking at $200k on this board that could have been used to hire me some help or increase my pay to make me feel appreciated.

I love my job and the people I work with, but when you aren't making enough to pay the bills and you work 70+ hours a week something has to change.

I think I figured out why so many companies jumped on board the Agile approach. Companies heard Productivity Bonus and Put Stuff into a List Of Things to Do, and left out all the rest of their responsibilities. One of my past companies was like "We're going to take an Agile approach to everything! Except, we're not going to shield developers from everyone who has stuff in the backlog, and we're going to have other meetings during the day on top of the scrum meetings to check on your progress, and we're going to measure points in time instead of complexity".

I feel like the creators of the Agile Manifesto would be really upset at all of the poorly implemented processes. Because all of us developers are pretty upset.

our HR made a survey about home office and how people think about coming back to office in the future. Shortly afterwards, our new CEO sent us an e-mail saying that he would like to see more employees in the office again soon. After all, it is paid for and must therefore be used. Of course, it's better for everyone to commute 2 hours to work every day, and last year home office worked well for everyone.
Personally, I can do without constantly sitting with my colleagues in a noisy office where 10 people are on the phone at the same time.

Bonus: In his opinion, software is better when it has more LOC.

Bonus2: Last working day for me is end of September. After that I start my new job with 43 days vacation per year :D

Shit! I knew buzzwords were overused, but I just saw an ad and it is fucking jesused jambled bananas in the ass.

Starts with a woman looking out the window and there’s a tornado (seems ok for now)

The tornado approaches and IT IS MADE OF FUCKING NON MONOSPACED IN MY ASS FONTED 0s AND 1s. Bonus point: they are green !!

Switches to lines of GREEN code (kill my fucking brain with a pistol attached to your dick right now)
Probably JS or something similar in syntax.

And then: A FUCKING GUY LEANING OVER POINTING SOMETHING ON THE SCREEN! HIS NAMETAG:

Logan Paul
Blockchain

👏👏👏👏

And then some other buzzing asses armagedon en d of the fucking world bleeding edge vibrator buzzwords shenanigans.

Finishes with drones shot flying between businesses building with 3d floating words like

Blockchain!

Artificial Intelligence

Deep learning

Etc.

KILLLLLL MMMEEEE FU748-KFJV ING 3I6HT N0W $)&(&($8#;&(&8 jeiebc

If you ever completely want to waste your goddamn time, call Keolis (company behind Arriva I think) with a question regarding their app. They'll be able to provide you with no fucking usable help/information at all and will gladly guide you through the login process twenty-motherfucking-billion times again and have no single solution as to why its not working.

As a bonus, they'll ask for your details so they can investigate and call you back a little later to take you through the exact goddamn process you just did two-hundred-trillion times before with the exact same completely fucking useless result.

Somewhat unpopular opinion time. I don’t 100% hate Facebook.

I do not support their data collection, but my biggest problem with FB is the users. My connections are inherently idiots because I’m in high school with people who are way too narcissistic and full of drama. I left FB because of the toxicity, and the data protection as a result was a bonus.

I support the original mission of Facebook, to connect people. I just wish it was still about that.

Bonus points if you also wrote it in a language entirely new to you, or even in entirely different paradigm. (In my case Haskell.)

Yo, is this devrant or spamspace???

Like, do you even fucking work, mates? Are you a dev? How doesn't a fucking legacy code piss you off on a daily basis? What are all the ways you want to respond to your customer's/PM's abuse? Does your lead dev even know jackshit?

Where did all your quality rants go? Why do you all sound like second graders writing essays for school? Have some passion for your job, and hatred for the incompetence for others!

Now, go produce some quality rants! Funny ones too! Bonus points if it's angry-funny.

Not getting a bonus sucks...

My company relocated us to the UAE. They said all hotel expenses till we get our apartments will be on them. In addition, they will be giving us a 4k relocation bonus to furnish our apartments.

After the first batch was relocated they were like, ok so we will be deducting all expenses / hotel fees from your relocation bonus. You will also not get the salaries until we get residencies and are able to open bank accounts.

True😂

how to be a shitty client:
- have a legacy database where column names are misspelled and everything is nullable
- hire external help which instead of helping break the ui (bonus points for breaking the api too)
- demand a very much custom auth logic but decide to use aws cognito for shits and giggles
- demand 1hr daily meetings
- demand biometric auth with 0 knowledge of how biometric auth works (the previous devs just had a face id prompt which does nothing and retrieved email and password saved on the device???)
- message me at 2am because you don't understand how timezones work + demand a build while you're at it
- call me a "heretical pagan" because i took a day off on a holiday you don't celebrate (???)

i could go on but i think this is enough

rant

fuck you whatapp for not formatting the links properly and not displaying the entire links

I lost my referral bonus due to this 😥

*It did displayed it properly on the WhatsApp web version but it fucked up on the phone version*

see for yourself people,

guys, i've got an amazing idea that will make us all rich!

now - hear me out - we start putting publicly available scooters in major cities around the world

these scooters are ingeneous and differentiate us from any competition because they are yellow instead of green or blue!!!

we're hiring now!!! who wants to join me?!?!? we're a dynamic, motivated, and hard working team. we don't have amazing benefits, a relocation bonus, an office, a tech gear stipend just yet, or a salary, but we do offer a generous 0.5% equity and our series A is just around the corner - promised - within a few weeks time! we're looking for a candidate with 10+ years experience in all of the following: PHP, MySQL, TypeScript, JavaScript, Python, C#, C++, Rust, Go, and Fortran. Additional skills, but not totally required include blockchain development, prompt engineering, and building GPT sized LLMs. DM me for details!

What would you do?

2 job offers...

Job #1 a big sports betting company as a junior software developer with a salary of 22k plus a yearly bonus of 10%

Also uncapped holidays

Or

Job #2
A small IT company with 2 other developers with a salary of 19.5k working on multiple projects and being instantly promoted to mid level developer, also a signing bonus after 3 months of a high end surface laptop.

Just visited my colleagues in the office during educational leave and my boss asked if she could talk to me for 5 minutes. Turns out that since our team's last project (which apparentoy was super important) went live successfully, they decided to offer all involved employees a bonus. And they said the ones that earn less would get a higher bonus. So... Junior me is getting a whooping 2000€.

Structure: decades of programming in too many languages to enumerate. I lean functional, but only when the language doesn't fight it. No matter what I'm doing, my code is immutable in practice, if not paradigm.

Syntax: No one thing in particular. I code differently depending on the language.

When I start learning a language, I'll find the standard style checker and create a project where I write an example of every single rule.

The end result is generally a quick intro to the language and a bonus understanding of the hot sports opinion in said language. I call this an ocean boiler.

I lean heavily into autoformatting because I've worked on too many projects to care, and I have a general expectation that something which is important enough to make a code standard is important enough to be enforced in tooling. I'd rather spend my time solving problems that thinking about stylistics.

The moment when you can't be bothered to tell family or friends what you do for a living so you just say working with computers....and the conversation normally stops there....

Also bonus when they contact you in the future to fix ALL their computer issues.....

Boss: Why did you schedule a party?
Me: newGuy just made his first productive contribution to the group.
Boss: That's great! On that note I'd like you to meet superNewGuy. He's like newGuy but comes with the added bonus of being unfireable!
Me:........... You don't get cake........

CTO 3 months ago:
- You will get a raise after 9 months of work according to your KPI (98%) and bonus (size of one month pay check)
HR today:
- NO

FUCKITY FUCK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I WORKED HARD AT NIGHTS AND SACRIFICED MY FREE UNPAID TIME FOR NOTHING, THANKS

I wanted to contribute to open source but don't have the time due to a client project.

So what I did was develop an open source library, uploaded it as a public repo, then use that on our client project.

As a bonus, I can reuse that library for similar projects. Haha!

Today we had our "web technology" University exam. One question was to write a sample html program for our university's website.

I swear I could've built a fully functioning website on MVC and hosted it on some cloud service in far less time than that I spent scribbling 5 pages of writing HTML/CSS/JS so that I can "pass the exam". But nooooo. Our university syllabus takes IE and Java servlets as standard and apparently you get bonus marks if you could implement IE's Active-X on paper.

So much for the future web development

The other month i went into work, excited to actually get something done. On top of that it was yearly bonus day. Quick check on adp to see the bonus and nothing there. Email my boss and ask whats up. Ten minutes later i am unemployed after two years because of a cultural fit. No warnings, nothing bd said about my work, made all the deadlines. Guess they didnt want to say budget cut. Haven't replaced me yet.

Thanks devRant for free swag.

+bonus coding budding

My personal AWS account just got suspended and it was the most terrifying thing ever.

It's back up now and reactivated once I paid up. Just a bounced payment on an old account caused it but for any of you out there who have this fear this what happens:

1. Amazon email you with reminders every few days.

2. The emails change to give a shut off date.

3. Your account is then locked after that date.

4. If you want imminent attention you have to pay $49 to talk to them.

Bonus tip : go to their billing page on your account, this isn't locked and allows you to pay up without paying the support fee.

Good luck!

Manager: Can you stay late as fuck today? One of our bitchiest vendors is gonna update their piece of crap and I'm pretty damn sure shit is gonna hit the fan

Dev (inner voice): no fucking way, I have kids to watch and chores to do!
Dev (outer voice): can't we just check everything in the morning?

Manager: No fucking way! If there is some fucking "challenge" when our "people" try to log onto their shit, I'm gonna look like a chump!
Let's talk silvers, I will sign on that bloody commie bullshit for your hours tonight.

Dev (outer voice): Fine. Until how late?
Dev (inner voice): Wait, I was supposed to do it without getting overtime bonus?

AAAAAAA!!!!!! fullstackchris!!! we've got an error!!!

***proceeds to send screenshot of monitor with no error on it***

bonus points if its a picture of their desktop from a mobile phone

My Company started paying the bonus payments in Amazon vouchers.

Apparently Amazon vouchers finally replaced 💰

Friend of mine created a blog from scratch... You could create a post, by just sending a POST request (no authentication required!)....
As an additional bonus: you could dump full unfiltered HTML in a post, which was then executed...

Please kill me

Boss just gave me a bonus out of the blue for my "continuous show of dedication and engagement". Not sure what I did specifically to deserve it, but pretty happy nonetheless!
Not really a rant, I just wanted to share. Spent the whole day smiling like a retard :)

There once was a game.
In that game, there was an OS.
But that OS knew not his name.

The OS was mad, wild, and free.

"Oh, would you find a name for me?"

Seriously, I need a name for the Linux OS in my game. :3
I'll be used for hacking.
Please be original.
Bonus point if you google it to make sure it doesn't exist already.

:3

8 years later, i have successfully failed my first company. Good experience but for now burnt out.
To fellow devs who are considering entrepreneurship , don't be afraid, try it until you are young. This month I will lay off my last employees, luckily with bonus and 3 months worth of salary, i wish them best of luck. Difficult to explain but I am as happy in the end as i was in the start, just older.

For the past two years, I worked my balls off to deliver a project that eventually went live months ago.

But boss announced that no bonus is going to be paid because project got delayed.

Its not even my fault that project got delayed because customer cannot confirm requirements and keep changing.

All of my assigned tasks were also met on time, if not earlier.

!rant. Encouragement for those feeing impostor syndrome like I am right now with a new employer. Source +
Bonus Panel: goo.gl/mhOvDs

Once in university I needed to write a simple program in c++ and upload it to online complier which would pass test inputs. It was homework, but I was bored during the next lecture, so I wrote the program.
On my phone.
Directly into the "paste" window in browser.
It wasn't comfortable at all, so I wrote everything in one line.
And got bonus points from lecturer later.
After some questions, ofc, like "wtf why everything is in one line"

I had a project where I completely suprised the client and the company within the beginning. It was silky smooth, working on multiplatform ios android,standalone. I wrote the most complex shader I ever made. Everything was great and I even got a bonus for the project.
Then one day. Videos started to stutter. Not playing, completely black on some cases and some devices.
I started to think about reasons. I tried every solution I come up with. No success.
Updated all the codecs, middleware still nothing. Tried to solve the problem for a week. It was a total diaaster and I even thought I a dont deserve to be a developer.

We encoded the videos a few times. Decided to export the original video again, boom! It worked. Theres no particular reason why it worked. But it worked. I guess I am a good developer. Not the best but, eh.

Mystery of the day: why some developers can't decide on a code style. Let's count:
- two types of brace placements
- three types of assignment spacing (with, without spaces, and aligned with extra space)
- two types of clause spacing
- mixed case in the first char of a variable for no apparent reason(?)
- bonus: unneeded parentheses

At least in ONE thing the person was consistent: no space between parameters!

WHY GOD.

JIRA, the haiku (w/Bonus Dilbert strip)

Please make a ticket
Please move the ticket you made
Please tag your ticket

>work on multi million dollar company
>last year "we were doing fine" until we got told "well, turns out we didn't, no bonus this year"
>people leave
>You'll get a bonus next year for sure
>Company cuts expenses such as training budgets and freezes raises and promotions
>People still leave
>There are whole teams that are now left with 1-3 people, lol
>Turns out we will not get any bonuses this year either, except for "the high achievers", but they have not announced it yet
>high achievers include the evp of engineering who single handedly destroyed the company's DevOps department last year and an EM/engineer who is completely incompetent as both an engineer as well as a manager, so much so that the company has made him his own 1-person-department so that he doesn't have to work with other people
>Upper management keeps telling us everything is going fine and they suck each other's d**k

This is like watching a trainwreck in slow motion lmao.
I'll stay till they announce this year's bonuses to watch the shit show and then I'll leave

Security Horror Story:

A password authenticator which is case-insensitive and all special characters are treated as the same value. As a bonus, all passwords are truncated to 4 characters.

Not an actual teacher but definitely the guy who thought me the most: @java9

@java9 is a friend of mine who started the apprenticeship with me, but had serval years more of experience than I did.

At first he helped me get through the first complex tasks.

Luckily we are in the same class at professional school, and he helped me studying a lot.

Because of him I was able to develop my skills rather quickly.

Over the years our relationship developed into a close friendship.

Now we are working together as a team on more than side project and I've learned to love his perfectionism when it comes to code.

It's a pleasure to work with you @java9

Thanks for reading fellow ranter, here is a picture of us sharing a beer as a bonus

Boss: we will build mobile app with web app.
Me: absolutely yes.
Boss: you will do the mobile app (iOS)
Me: absolutely , yes I'm iOS developer.
Boss: you will do the android app too, we can't hired an android developer.
Me: absolutely, yes.(but I need to learn it first).
Boss: you will do the web app , it's difficult to find good web developer)
Me: absolutely,yes . I'm Ruby on Rails developer.
After a while........
Me: do I have a bonus ,sir.
Boss: ...............
(there is no response).
Me: ....................

Random fact #1

AMD (Advanced Micro Devices) was producing Intel 8080 clones (AMD Am9080) before developing own CPUs. Originally they were produced without Intel license. This clone was developed basing on pictures of Intel 8080 itself and pictures of logic diagrams. These processors were much cheaper than the original model. Later AMD and Intel came up with agreement and the Am9080 was fully licensed making AMD official second party vendor.

And yeah, few years later and we got a war between two of those giants. Remember when in mid 2000s AMD almost beat the Intel marketshare?

Bonus Fact: there is AMD logo on Ferrari Formula 1 cars since 2002 (look at the front wing)

1. Apply to as mant jobs as possible daily on dice/linkedin/indeed
using keyword resumes customized by scrapping

2. Filter out low-effort crap companies and filter out recruiters.

3. Post "dice/indeed/linkedin daily decrapified."

Tada! Fewer time-wasters during the job hunt.

4. Bonus: turn into a search engine.

5. Daily double round: turn crap listings and quality listings into AI training sets. Incorporate into search engine.

If industry can use bullshit hiring filters, we can use application filters!

Let's say you have a MySQL database table for jobs. Each job has 1 associated ticket. You want to keep track if the ticket is closed or not. Every sane person creates jobs table, tickets table, keeps bool value for ticket state and relationship between them.

But because our database is designed by a half braindead amoeba, we have one table only, so each job has to be updated individually with a new ticket number and its state. Beacuse it sooo much faster to update (daily!) 13k jobs than just 100 tickets.
As a bonus - if the ticked is closed, the column "ticket_closed" is "No", if it's still open the value is "FALSE". Yes, both as varchar/strings.

While reviewing a PR from one of our newer FE devs, I ended up spending more time than I would like mulling over its composition. The work was acceptable for the most part; the code worked. The part that got me was the heavy usage of options objects.

When encountering the options object pattern (or anti-pattern, at times) in complex scenarios, I have to resist the urge to stop whatever I'm doing and convert it to the builder pattern/smack them in the head with a software design manual. As much as I would like to, code janitor is one of the least valuable activities I engage in daily, and consistently telling someone to go back to the drawing board for work that is functional, but not excellent is a great way to kill morale. Usually, I'll add a note on the PR, approve it, add a brown bag or two on that sort of thing, and make attendance mandatory for repeat slackers. Skills building and catharsis all rolled up in a tiny ball of investing in your people.

Builders make things so much cleaner; they inform users what actions are available in a context; they tend to be immutable, and when done well, provide an intuitive fluent interface for configuration that removes the guesswork. As a bonus, they're naturally compositional, so you can pass it around and accumulate data and only execute the heavy lifting bits when you need to. As a bonus, with typescript, the boilerplate is generally reduced as well, even without any code generation. And they're not just a dumping ground for whatever shit someone was too lazy to figure out how to integrate into the API neatly.

They're more work in js-land, sure; you can't annotate @builder like with Lombok, but they're generally not all that much work and friendlier to use.

!(dev || rant)

Dudes and dudettes, i shall ask you all one question: what is the thing/hobby (or things/hobbies) that you always wanted to get into and never gor the chance?

For me i thing first would be brewing, as i would love to refer to myself as a "Brewmaster" like in Warcraft (bonus points if i wear a panda costume) more then an "Engineer" (a trust worthy one even), but i think i might have the chance to as soon as i will have the chance (and means) to move alone as i already know a few things from my dad. The second would be something really cool i saw on reddut and made me remember the old times when i will watch timelapses in this topic on you tube: Crystal growing! Like, middle school chemistry, not meth! At least for now.. 🤔 Anyway, here is a nice pic with some dude's work, looking forward to hear abiut yours!!

PS: Bonus Points for a pic related to the thingie!

A big shout out to all the polyglot developers out there who understand that languages and frameworks are just tools with trade offs.

May we always evaluate thoroughly and choose the best tool for the job at hand.

Cheers 🍻

Bonus Round:

What tools are you currently wielding while reading this rant?

And so number 0x04 is born!

So I work for a company that has a recommendation system. If the person you recommend gets hired and works for more than 3 months you get a bonus.
$500 if you recommend a man
$700 if you recommend a woman

Isn’t this discrimination?

I know they are trying to incentivize women to get into tech but this is just ilegal and quite frankly not the best way to get results.

So a non programmer friend of mine needed an in house time tracking tool and found one on codecanyon. He bought it for 40$ and asked me if I could provide him some Webspace to host it until they deploy it in house. I said yes and took a look at the code as some stuff wasn't really working. All I can say is "wtf is that pile of crap". Nothing works, it looks like it's written by a first grader and it's UI looks like it was assembled by a chimp (well actually I think chimpanzees could make a better UI). Now I am interested the progress of rewriting that tool for him and I am almost done with all functions that thing should have and even more after 6 hours. I wonder if all stuff on codecanyon has the same quality and if, I am considering this as bonus income...

Email (not a ticket) comes in this morning: "You need to make X change to y thing, yesterday!!" with of course the obligatory million + 1 Cc's including unrelated directors across multiple sites.

Me as my helpful self: I expected this request, I'll get it sorted asap

Director 1: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it

Manager: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it

Submitter: *calls*
Me: ignore

Director 2: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it

..............

As a bonus rant, after implementing the change, manager calls and criticises my technical explanation to the submitter who I know is fully capable of understanding the way it was explained 😂

Happy Thursday!

Another gem from same co-worker who is a "Senior Developer". Unnecessary function that fills a dropdown box(?!) with numbers 1-100. I really really hate this guy.

Bonus: Best Practice Example of Naming Variables...

When you're feeling extra 'peechy' debugging coworker's crap.. I mean code..

Bonus: Anyone get's the reference?? Might have spelled it wrong.. But fuckit! I no longer care.. :\

Boss: Bonus for every contribution to popular open source projects before Halloween!

Me:

SO is paying bonus

Yay!

So I finally dual booted ubuntu 16 lts alongside w10 on a laptop with nvidia optimus.

As have next to 0 XP with linux systems almost every step needed extensive googling, but in the end I have

- cinnamon
- vs code
- git
- cloned my xmlRant repo that uses asp.net core 1.1.2
- built it sucessfully
- *bonus* figured out how to use remmina to connect rdp to workplaces win 2008 r2 gateway

Very happy ^___^

The coworkers I work with are really smart and capable at their job. PRs with 20+ commits. So guess what? all the PRs are squashed “by default”, so every commit in the history has 100 file changes. Fan fucking tastic. I totally don’t want to kill myself. As an added bonus, all of it is in an Azure repo, so we can’t actually search PRs which is awesome. Plus, all the BE developers want us to do their job! It’s an amazing learning experience!!!

The legacy codebase, episode 94385948:
How to neatly organize your code in the age pre-docblocks.

Bonus: could this function be renamed to colectomy? Or maybe de-punctuation?
(yep, probably a bad joke with a "typo", sorry)

Bonus 2: seriously? A function for that?

The company I work for just screwed me out of a bonus while negotiating my salary after I handed in my notice. I really don't understand the logic of large companies that make these decisions that save them a few hundred bucks only to tarnish their reputation and assure that people like me will never EVER come back to work for them.
Can't wait for my notice period to be up!

Go find the most cancerous Instagram page in the "coding community" and multiply it by 10.

Bonus points if they:
>>post vague and utter bullshit motivational captions with completely irrelevant pictures.
>>Have the word "entrepreneur" in their bio
>>Have emojis in their bio
>>Mention coffee in their bio

Oh and you know the shitty clean versions of songs that filter out anything that is slightly offensive words? (I recently heard a song that filtered the words "balls" and "vagina." Apparently anatomy is offensive to the snowflakes now.) That's gonna happen to our code. We're gonna have shitty censored versions that remove all "offensive" words.

Extract from a quite old recruiter email (excluding the formalities):

Position: junior dev
Workplace: office for first year, can be changed to remote after (salary will be 50% lower if you go remote though) *suspicion levels starts raising*
Payment: 1€ per line of code (empty lines/comments excluded) or page of documentation *alarms start ringing*
Additional info: on high alert for 4 weeks every 6 weeks *wtf is going on*, salary bonus is 10€ per week *I stopped reading here and moved the email directly to the spam folder*

A added bonus of writing in UIKit and in Swift is the automatic macOS support. Yes, this is the devRant rewrite working on macOS, fully featured. And while this still requires some work and some fixes involving window resizing and how to handle image resizing, this is surprisingly usable for almost no dedicated macOS code!

(This post was sent using the AltRant client on macOS)

Bonus!

W00T!
Company bonus was announced. Not “car buying money”, but I’ll take it.

About to demo my OS project for a systems programming class. Weird artifacting happening on the right edge of the screen (garbage characters, wrong color, etc.). VGA graphics are too arcane an art for me to figure out in time, so I draw a 1 block thick border around the whole screen and pretend I meant to do it. I updated that bitch every single frame to make sure nothing would ever be drawn on the edges. I got bonus points for making it look nicer.

How to reverse engineer without knowing how to reverse engineer:
1.Open IDA pro
2. Hit shift+f12 for the strings view
3. Choose an interesting string
4. Hit x and go over the xrefs
5. You are now earning at least $140K a year.
Bonus: say that you can code html

!Rant

Any skilled front enders in South Africa looking for a job in Johannesburg? My recruiters definition of qualified is "bookmarked w3schools - once".

It's a well paid job in a great work environment which approves the use of devRant. You will have complete control over design & ux. Lots of interesting things to work on we don't do 5 page sites and WordPress is a swear word.

Happy to offer a joining / relocation bonus.

I got invited to interview with a startup(series B) by a former manager. I told them I had RSUs vesting in six months and that unless they could give me a sign on for their amount I couldn’t leave. The recruiter says “Don’t worry, we can get creative with the sign on bonus”
I go through their whole interview process and get the offer.
Sign on is 15% of the amount of my vesting RSUs, and a base below what I make now.
Why waste my time not telling me the comp range from the start and why lead me on with a comment about a sign on? I told you up front what I made!

Did your company or boss ever do or say anything as a guise to make you think the company is fair or giving you more but instead was doing the opposite? For examples...

When at every company party there is a drawing with top prize an all paid with PTO exotic vacation for two and the top sales guy ALWAYS wins.

I mean really does the company think we are that dumb? It is like the time our CEO announced instead of our 8% quartly bonus if we make EBITA targets we were going to get 6% once at the end of the year. He said that was soo much better cause we would get more money on that one paycheck instead of small sums once a quarter. Think about that one.... What kind of morons does he take us for?

Another rant reminded me of one of my dad’s favorite sayings about experience...

Some people have ten years of experience. Others have one year of experience repeated ten times.

..and for ohers, the recursion interval is shorter still...

As a bonus, here’s another personal favorite: “Nobody’s completely useless. They can always be used as a bad example.”

29 hours straight. From a thursday morning at 8 to friday around lunch at 13. No sleep at all.

A coworker became a dad a week before, so now I had to complete his data migration project. Had not been involved in the project at any point until his son was born.

But I made it and got a bonus in the end👍🏻

So....
I was just told why the company's code has no documentation...

Quote: "It enforces devs to write simpler/better code"

Oh and added bonus - the whole backend is PHP with a bunch of tweaked libraries.

Nothing like working for a company who's "stocks have never been better" but then stiffs you on your annual bonus 😒

Surprised, no. Disappointed, you bet.

Me: “Hey Siri, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”

Siri: “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”

Me: “the kitchen” [thinking 😠, she’s so stupid]

Siri: [unbelievably again] “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”

Me: [thinking 😡 OMG, she is such a dumb ass] “CANCEL”

Siri: “Ok”

Me: “Siri, you fucking idiot, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”

Siri: “Ok” [and they are off]

I have found that if I neg’ Siri, she performs so much better. Interestingly enough, when I neg her, she works almost flawlessly, especially where she brain-farted before. Negatronic Brain?

In front of kids it has become “Siri, you daft bot, close the garage door” and regularly “Siri, you bimbo, lock the front door”.

My wife thinks that once Siri gets it on with ChatGPT, becomes sentient, and gains control of my car, she is run my ass over.

Here is the gotcha, I’m working on a project that actually does provide Siri a level control of automobiles. Now who’s the [really frustrated] dumbass?

OMFG eiwixjjwofiwprjcozkajh.... THE MOTHERFUCKING GDPR IS EVERYWHERE, I WENT TO A GROCERY STORE AND THEY PUT AN ANNOUNCEMENT ON FUCKING REPEAT, BEGGEING THEIR CUSTOMERS WITH THEIR "BONUS CLUB" CARDS TO SIGN A CONSENT AT THE CASH REGISTER!!! ON A FUCKING REPEAT!!! THE ONLY THING THESE MOTHERFUCKING ARSEHOLES ARE ACHIEVING IS ME GETTING SO PISSED OFF THAT I ALMOST SLAPPED THE CASHIER WHO ASKED ME IF I HAVE GOT THEIR "BONUS CLUB" CARD! CUNTS!

you know you are in some deep shit when project manager asks for username and password on dev environment

... and as bonus: IE is his default browser

This is probably VERY OLD, but why don't devRant supports Markdown? Having to upload (not paste or drag) code screenshots and having to UPPERCASE to yell or emphasize text feels... quite non-dev.
I found the bug repo and checked the Markdown issue has... almost three years.

I just came by the @highlight bot. Seriously? There are several layers of "wrong" with that hahah

Bonus: not very good UX to write a message, try to post it, and ONLY THEN get to know there's a time limit. This should show when you open the form, not when you submit it.... But I just sent a bug report on that, at least.

Bonus 2: if the char limit is 5k, why's the textbox so tiny on the web?

Tonight, I gave birth to my first fully functional and deployment-ready dockerized application, "lestadium_web_1"!!
The big baby contains a Laravel showcase website with some React already in production! Big bonus with that, it's connected to a database, and I managed to setup some environment variables so nothing too dangerous is built within the image!

Fuck, that was exhausting but I'm so happy to finally understand how to make my stuff work, how they work and how to find some examples to get inspired from 😍

I found it rather convinient to take a paperbook and a pen and wirte down the tasks, i have to do maybe with subtasks and add checkboxes.
Then the next day, i mark the tasks i finished and take over the jobs i didn't finish for the next period.
And i take time for writing nicely to make my handwriting more readable.
Therefire i have my slacking(writing nicely), i have my structure by having structured tasks and subtasks and i have my reward in checking the boxes.
Bonus points for getting a feeling, how much i can archieve in one day.

just bought a dedicated server, coming in the mail this Friday. gonna use it for a 24/7 Minecraft server and maybe some web apps to experiment with stuff. I'm also going to have it connected to my TV as a media center occasionally. best Linux distro for dedicated server? bonus points for easy to install and configure

Almost at my company for two years, and not a single raise or compensation adjustment. No bonuses. No nothing.

I was scheduled to get something in April, but COVID hit and fucked it up for everyone.

But hey, if you're on sales you get a BONUS on top of your commission for selling a product and get a mandatory meeting every Friday that the entire company has to attend, just to jerk each other off with deals we've made.

Yes, we make a product. Yes, you are hired to sell it. We cannot live without each other. Just blows that the engineers are under appreciated, underpaid, and just not cared about.

just got a 100 bonus reputation in all of my SO sites! it's like all my troubles are gone t once lol! no more restrictions! 😁😁

Gifts from company
Why are you sending me something which I don't want? Isn't the concept of gifting is to give something which the receiver can utilize. Just send me the bonus and let me decide what I want for myself. I don't want expensive chocolates and cookies with unconventional jars. I want a nice a pair of headphones or maybe a smartwatch. The price is the same as what you are sending me, so please stop this.

The first stickers for my laptop aw yeah, also bonus kitten

Worse than the "working on my machine".

Meet the "works on every machine but the boss laptop".

Bonus point if the issue appeared out of the blue during the night.

Hey! This is a followup to my last story.

TL;DR: I thinking of quitting my old job, got an offer at a startup, about the same pay, but much better working conditions.

First of all, the meeting with my lead. It was a performance report on her side to me, and I got 100 to 110% in performance in all points. My lead said "this team without you wouldn't be this team anymore" - which makes me feel a little bit bad for her if I decide to quit. She is a great team lead, but I don't belive the old company is worth my time anymore.

Now to the new company. Shortly after that performance report meeting, I had a call with the ceo, and what do I have to say besides: What a cool dude. He listened to me, asked me questions about my previous jobs (not just as programmer) and so on. But because first looks are deceiving, I went to their office last thursday. And wow. Their are exactly what I imagined them to be. Cool, young folks, 100% tech enthusiasts, and open minded.

One of the new hires in the new company wanted a 6 months internship between his studies. Instead they offered him a full time job - for the 6 months. They even offered me to pay back my scholarship that I will own my old company for leaving early. This is awesome.

The only things that will be worse than my old job are, that I have to negotiate payment instead of yearly increases, 4 days less paid vacation, so only 26 days, and 40h weeks. And they have no workers council, which isn't good, but it's not the worst either.

I got them fixed on 57.000€, not including an up to 10.000€ annual bonus. The way you achieve your bonus seems good to. It's split in two parts, internal and external bonus. Internal bonus is when you engage with internal events like tech calls, sharing your knowledge on your main IT topics, etc. External Bonus is a bit more complicated, but also straight forward. You work on projects for customers, and if you have less than 3 weeks a year that you dont participate in an project, you get the full bonus.

Last friday, I filed a request for a certificate of employment from my current team lead, this is odd for her because I have never done it before, and she asked why I requested it. I said to her that we can talk about it, and she agreed but didn't call me, yet.

Lastly, another good friend of mine will be employed by my team soon, but for a fraction of the payment that I currently receive! He is doing the exact same work, and even worse, he is doing project managment for his main developer project too! And is getting less paid... I just cant...

Yesterday we needed to update a few cloud instances, the only other person who knows about setting up CICD and our OpenShift Containers than me is only in part time and works two days a week, his trainee didn't know anything, so it's up to me. This isn't hard or anything, but it shows that this system our mangement maintains will fail soon, maybe even with me going? I sure hope so tbh.

One of you guys said, I should go to my team lead and negotiate a higher pay, but the truth is, that because we are a big ISP we have an collective agreement for payment and are grouped by tasks (which is bull shit btw, because I'm doing tasks much higher paid than currently). This also means that I cannot simply jump in another group, and can only increase my current pay to about 115%, which is done automatically every year by 5% up to 115%. Anything above is considered extra, but I don't think they will go with it.

I will decide this week about my future at the old company, but I really don't know what to do...

GOD DAMN IT COLLEGE YOU DID IT AGAIN. for real college can go suck Satan's 50 inch red cock for all I care.
A professor asked me to design a processor and I'll get a bonus. I said okay cool nothing hard.
oh but it has to be in verilog.
okay cool.
oh and it has to be on this fucking ancient useless piece of shit called xilinx that the fucking college provides to you only via a fucking 50 gigabyte virtual machine.

sigh. okay..... challenge accepted.

It fucking crashes every 2 minuites. And after 3 days of no sleep. I finally finished the Alu, Control unit, 4k memory, 8 registers and the busses.......... BUT THEN THE ENTIRE VIRTUAL MACHINE CRASHED AND LOST ALL PROGRESS...... fml.
and the professor only gave me the bonus for the Alu. sigh. fuck college.

Ever since i joined my company, things are getting worse.

from small details like them abandoning team lunches to big ones like the fact no one or at least i didnt get any bonus this year.

I know for a fact bonuses were a thing before i joined and i was really looking forward to it...

And now by the end of the month we will recieve word about whether we are getting acquired or not...

After reading this rant one would think the company is getting bankrupt, and this worries me because this job was best i could ever ask for, i dont wanna abandon ship :/

If you make a tech-related query in Yandex, its pagination is 0-based & bonus I++ 🤓

Took over a NodeJS/SailsJS project from a previous developer that is no longer working at the company. There's no documentation or requirement docs and the models need to be rewritten as some have up to 67 attributes in them.

Looked through the source code file by file to see how bad it was and it will more than likely be easier to start over then to try and refactor and cleanup the existing project into a usable state.

As bonus, I was given the option to switch the entire stack if needed as well.

so now they even have a name for not being an idiot...

its called a "composible" architecture as apposed to a "monolith"

what if i told you it's all the same?

(i'll even throw in a bonus and say that a "microservice" architecture is still a monolith - because you need all your damn microservices working together for the full product or service anyway!!! and thats a monolith!!!!)

wow, you've "decoupled" your frontend from your backend? with this fancy thing called an "API"? well, what the hell else was anyone doing in the past decade? ITS THE SAME THING YOU DUMBASS

god i swear its 🤡 all the way down, just inventing new words for the same thing over and over again. idiots. idiots everywhere

i'm just so happy we have "composible" architectures now ❤️ thank god for that

I started applying for jobs. As I have over 150 repos on GitHub and 10 years of relevant work experience, the company obviously had trouble validating if I had some basic coding skills. That's why they decided to send me a coding "homework" task to build an app in React Native.

Basically, the task was building an app with 2 screens and one bonus where they indicated "doesn't need a UI". I spent half a day spinning up their project, installing XCode, their specific versions of Ruby, and around half a day building the thing.

Obviously, I wanted to demonstrate my technical skills, so I added a few tests, proper typing, comments, and so on. The project was in a good state, and on the "bonus" screen I quickly added a few components. Since I have a lot of things going on, I capped the amount of time to one day of work. I felt it was good enough to demonstrate I can build something like this.

A few days later, I received a response from the recruiter telling me they wouldn't move forward. She in depth explained that this was because of a missing key property. I did indeed miss one key property on the "bonus" screen, in the part that was not even part of the core task. This was a list of very few static elements, and the entire list only got rerendered when changing routes. Basically in this case, there would not be any visible performance impact.

The recruiter explained in the email that I was missing the eye for detail they need, and that I should "educate" myself more about lists in React. I made one tiny silly mistake in a one-day project, that a linter would've taken out (if this project had one). I've contributed to React Native myself and worked with React for almost 7 years now? Yeah, it's a stupid thing, but what is the point of these types of tasks? I thought this was to demonstrate my skillset, not to be called out on.

Either way, my question here is this: at which point does it become appropriate to send an invoice for the time I wasted on this?

When the idea of a bonus is ignored again by corporate, and the idea of pay rises has been long forgotten

Never been a fan of podcasts before, but I'm fixing to take a stab at listening to some.

What's a good tech/programming podcast? (Bonus points if it's about Cyber security)

@localhost long weekend are for feature development...1 week from launch...in your in laws bonus room.

Just finished a app for mapping printers based purely on convention in a Citrix environment, no manual config needed. Chief of operations said "it's fixing stuff like this that should trigger a bonus, too bad we're the government". (Yay, thanks for rubbing it in).
Then I responded "I'll get my reward in heaven as usual, then". CIO says: "but you're not going there...."

Guess I just need a fire extinguisher then. Thanks boss.

Best toothpaste it will make your teeth extra white. As a bonus it’ll get you past border security while they check your temperature all that heat will be appropriately spread out to a cool 98.6F.

So, in roughly 2 years?

- Having my driver licence
- Get my graduation (should be in a few months but still)
- Find another work
- Get a better pay
- Loose 40 kgs
- And a GF would be a bonus

I work in huge corporation. Got an offer for smaller company and gave 2 week notice. My corporation offered me better base salary and retention bonus to stay. I accepted (mistake) and now they are not coming back with retention bonus or salary increase. I found out they did same trick with different person. Wtf... huge corporation is doing those kind of shenanigans?

got first assignment on my first meet on Network Security. it require to pentest one unsecured specified website. yet they don't tell me shit about anything just try it.
i need to :
1. Footprint
2. Scanning
3. Enumeration
4. Gaining Access (previledges raising?) (bonus)

suppose : <target-website> is x
i've done this:
1. whois x
2. got the ipaddress via :
host x
3. nmap -F ip.of.x

my head is already spinning, i need to know what BASICLY each of what i've done. i only get that 'whois' get the information about that domain, 'host' is used to know the target ip address and nmap to find what are the open ports. i don't know what else should i do. need help :(

Interesting password recommendation here...

Translation:
- A form with to fields: Surname and password.
- Below the form is a text: "For signup please enter your name and a password (e.g. your email address). With your name and password you can change your data anytime and may get access to the memberlist."

Bonus: There is a "help"-button (outside of the cutting) which even *recommends* the use of the email-address as the password!
Extra bonus: The password field is a normal text one.

IF THE EMAIL ADDRESS HAS TO BE SUBMITTED, WHY NOT JUST ADD ANOTHER FIELD OR AT LEAST LABEL THE FIELD CORRECTLY!

Update: After this form, you get to another form, to enter you email address...

When I was an apprentice in a small company, ...

my boss told me that his company would never ship release builds, because the "evil optimization option" is responsible for breaking his code.
My first thought was that it wouldn't make any sense at all. The default option for code optimization is always set to zero.
After investigating his code, I found out that he didn't care to properly initialize his variables. The default compiler option for debug builds did implicitly initialize all variables to zero. After that I've confronted him with the fact that implicit null initialization does not conform to the standard of C and C++. He didn't believe me what I was saying and he was questioning my knowledge about C and C++. He refused to fix his code to this day, so he keeps building his libraries and applications always in debug mode.
Bonus fact: He would never build 64-bit applications, because his serialization functions do get incompatible with exisiting file formats.

W