Me: “Hey Siri, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”

Siri: “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”

Me: “the kitchen” [thinking 😠, she’s so stupid]

Siri: [unbelievably again] “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”

Me: [thinking 😡 OMG, she is such a dumb ass] “CANCEL”

Siri: “Ok”

Me: “Siri, you fucking idiot, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”

Siri: “Ok” [and they are off]

I have found that if I neg’ Siri, she performs so much better. Interestingly enough, when I neg her, she works almost flawlessly, especially where she brain-farted before. Negatronic Brain?

In front of kids it has become “Siri, you daft bot, close the garage door” and regularly “Siri, you bimbo, lock the front door”.

My wife thinks that once Siri gets it on with ChatGPT, becomes sentient, and gains control of my car, she is run my ass over.

Here is the gotcha, I’m working on a project that actually does provide Siri a level control of automobiles. Now who’s the [really frustrated] dumbass?

  • 5
    Allowing control of your utilities via external systems... What could go wrong? The epitome of stupidity will be the adoption of "smart" tech with control over our lives. When we don't know who the puppet masters are and we trust them blindly.
  • 6
    You have to be stupid to install Siri for things like controlling your light.

    Here is how my very advanced tech to control the lights looks like: There is a device. When i push on it with a small force (or large force, doesn't matter), the light changes. If it was one before it is now off and if it was off before it is now one. It is absolute genius: I don't have to say anything, it is very simple to use and it has a MTBF of more than 10 years. It is also save from viruses, doesn't need any wireless transmission and its standby current is 0.
  • 1
    @happygimp0 Speaking of a lack of knowledge base, Siri is not “installed” ;-)
  • 2
    @Demolishun Kinda depends.

    Do you own a Keurig? You push a button and /it/ decides what 12 oz looks like, what temperature your coffee should be (on some) and what the difference is between latte and cappuccino, not you.

    You make a phone call and the network decides how to route your call, not you.

    You click the unlock button on your car’s FOB and it decides to let you in. It ain’t no mechanical connection making that decision. If you are not driving a pre-2008 automobile, you literally sit surrounded by a mobile IoT.

    Siri or any other AI is just a more complex set of IF-THEN-ELSE decisions.

    But to respond to your criticism… AI + IoT is coming (here?)… you can either be its boss or it’s bitch.
  • 2
    @xcodesucks until it doesn't work because there is a network outage? People couldn't turn on lights in their house because the google service went down. With no alternate system it is shit. Some dude got divorced and lost house, logged into house remotely and set temperature to 90 and locked ex wife out. Wait until there is a world conflict and China logs into all the devices and fucks your system.
  • 0
    What do you drive? (year, make, model). I’m betting it’s a case of…

    🎶 Welcome my son
    Welcome to the machine
    Where have you been?
    It's alright we know where you've been…
  • 2
    @xcodesucks I have thus far avoided the "smart" car. Not looking forward to lack of choice in the future. The irony is I have a phone. Which is just a spy device. But I basically use it as a phone.
  • 4
    Honestly... Your comparisons suck.

    The top reason I'd avoid any IoT device, especially the assistants, is dead simple: I don't like an active listening device in my home. Period.

    The same goes for most AI functions and other shit.

    If it learns, it's bad. Cause learning means it stores your behaviour - doesn't matter if it's by listening, analysis of text or sth. else.

    It's sadly become very hard to avoid these things, but I guess I'm kind of an oddball.

    DevRant is my only social platform for instance.

    Facebook was based on the same principles, so my blockade of the perverted "we give you things for free if you let us strip you naked" idea has been going on for a loong time.
  • 0
    @Demolishun Drive a GM?
  • 0
    @xcodesucks how is that remotely similar to inviting this shit into your home?
  • 1

    Theres a "hot/crazy" matrix joke in there somewhere, I'm sure of it.
  • 1
    @Nanos Nuclear powered from a whole ton of smoke detectors:

  • 1
    I knew from the get go that you were going to get tons of shit from the usage of IoT devices by the lads here. And I was not wrong.

    Whilst I respect your use of them since I: don't pay your fucking bills nor provide anything of your salary thus making it not my fucking business, I am still going to read the posts from people calling you names.

    Mind you, I have no gripe on this, you are free to do what you want my man. No hate from me.

    I also think that those that get better acquainted with these devices are on to something. For additional info, there are IoT controlled homes in which you are the admin and provider for your own systems. I would recommend those since it means that you will be at fault, well, you and their APIs, it is what my VP uses and he is well aware of the liabilities with using them. This one in particular uses Groovy of all languages as a programming interface. Quite interesting if you don't want to deal with things like Siri and build your own env
  • 1
    All in all, I think the OPs described behaviour can very well be a captcha V4 of sorts.

    Like, the system wants feedback on something, gets it when you reply with expletives (sentiment is fairly easy to analyze).
  • 1
    @CoreFusionX is it the AI learning and trying to justify its very existence? You MUST want my services! It is reason I live!
  • 2

    Well, considering Amazon itself admitted people only use Alexa for setting cooking timers and playing music, and that it was a colossal waste of money, I wouldn't put it behind them to actually try and self justify their use 😂
  • 1
    @Demolishun my puppet master would only shut the lights of my bathroom, big deal.
  • 1
    @xcodesucks If the phone doesn't work, i can still use my apartment, make food, lock and unlock my door.

    I can lock and unlock my car purely mechanically, FOB is completely optional.

    The problem is that you increase the complexity and depend on forging resources to do basic tasks. That is not a smart idea.
  • 1
    @happygimp0 and you think he got rid of the actual light switches because? Any proper smart home will be able to fallback to stoneage tools you guys seem to love so much.
  • 1
    In this case he's also apparently using apple ecosystem which doesn't even require server connection as long as he's on the same network everything will still work.

    This is so weird you guys are against technology 🤔
  • 1
    @neriald If this comment:

    > Some dude got divorced and lost house, logged into house remotely and set temperature to 90 and locked ex wife out.

    From Demolishun is correct, then no, you can't just simply turn it of. And you still have the problem that Siri knows too much about you.
  • 2
    @happygimp0 every smart device is possible to reset if you have physical access to it obviously. It's just that ex is tech illiterate.

    Guys just look into what you're shitting on first. Don't come to me with stupid arguments like that. Siri already knows when I shit anyway, what's more if she also knows how warm I like my house or what lights I prefer at any time of the day... Anyway you can still have smart home without any ai assistant just look into open source projects like homeassistant.
  • 1
    @AleCx04 I’m not so worried about grief about IoT here. My background is a little deeper than most in hardware control systems but do understand the fear that IoT generates in the crowd that lives at the scripting levels.

    I like where you are going with the custom system but I hesitate to dive into development in that (hardware and firmware) as the big players (Apple, Google, Amazon) already took the candy away from Zigbee and X-10.

    I’m thinking that Matter + Thread will sew things up nicely. It should make the Siri vs Alexa vs xxx an end user choice.

    I’m convinced that the only reason Siri is around is cuz she’s cute. She could be so much better, it’s criminal that they keep on beating her with the stupid stick on each release.
  • 1
    @happygimp0 “I can still lock and unlock your car mechanically”. Are you sure? There are a good number of cars out there that do not short of the emergency access lock.

    My car has everything electric, the doors, the glove compartment, the center hump lid, the trunk, the frunk. Sure, I can take my FOB apart and use the emergency “your battery is toast” key to get in but it is a challenge even to find the keyholes.

    Most cars these days ship stands of data a day (in some cases gigabytes) out through either the XM radio connection or a dedicated cell data connection service that you don’t own.

    Year, Make, Model and I’ll give you the 411 on what you share with LexusNexus hence your insurance company ;-) Maybe nothing, maybe not…
  • 1
    @xcodesucks I think zigbee zwave will still be around. In my case I have zigbee antenna and homeassistant running as the core of my home automation and HA is exported to homekit as a bridge(not every device as some of them have motion/presence automations therefore not needed in homekit). It works quite well, I'm truly enjoying my house reacting to the things I do and in a sense helping me.
  • 2
    @xcodesucks damn man I like you, you sound very different from the autistic screeching mfkas I usually interact with in this platform.

    I get what you mean about the big players already taking all the niceties, going with the hardware and software provided by a big company has its benefits such as secure patches and updates.

    And I am also keeping my eyes up on Thread and Matter, having a choice is what I like, even if I eventually go for the solution provided by a big corpo.
  • 0
    @xcodesucks "Year, Make, Model and I’ll give you the 411 on what you share with LexusNexus"

    your xkeyscore for starters.
  • 1
    @Wisecrack What I am telling you is that unless you are motorhead super freak and disabled the system, your ride is likely pumping data to LexisNexis in real-time and hence your insurance company if you drive a relatively new car (one with a GPS system)... If you are a window crank 8-track player kinda person driving some old clunker piece of shit, then you are safe. GM to Jaguar collects data on your driving regardless of you giving them permission or having a service contract, and without your permission (so much for ecto gammat!)
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