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My 9 year old son checks out the source code of every website he visits. If he finds something he doesn't understand, he bounces it off me. I love the snot outta that kid ❤️❤️❤️.20
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New kid came to me in my break (while I was playing LoL) saying I should start coding (he had no clue what my role within the company is).
Said that if I won't get a career in league, I could just (as if it's done in a few minutes) learn coding and make a website with thousands of users (as if that is just done like 1 2 3).
Then with a big grin on his face he proceeded to say "if you ever have some issues with making websites, I could just come to him and he can teach me the basics of Javascript, HTML, CSS and PHP".
So I said: "and who are you?"
He told me his name and what he is going to do within the company.
So I said with a big grin on my face: "Ah, so you're the new kid the boss told me about, nice to meet you, from today on, I'll be your Senior."
I then saw his big grin disappear
then with a big smile on my face I proceeded to say: "If you ever have some issues, please come to see me and I'll be happy to teach you the basics of Javascript, HTML, PHP and CSS"
Then he walked away :^)26 -
So, in my spare time I run a little helper business that teaches children/teenagers how to program.
Theres a new kid that's been coming for around about a month, and I swear the kid is a programming deity.
He picked programming and more importantly developing remarkably quickly.
Long story short, I paid for him to go to a Hackathon in LA and he now has more business contacts than me.19 -
Me as a kid: "I'm gonna make new operating system 🤓"
Me today: "I'm gonna make hello world program 🤓"4 -
*happily tapping along on my projects while commuting*
Some random kid appears, overly interested in what I'm writing, so I let him look.
Then he goes *snort* do you know why Java threw c out?
No.
*giggles* because c told Java to stop treating women like and objects.
Well, treating them like primitives is no good either.
*kid walks away*
Then I hear: mom. That man ruined my joke, he said treating women like primitives is no good.6 -
Yeeeeeeeee! My granddaughter yelled up to me, "Grandpa, I'm programming!" She was doing some kid code game thing. Ten years old. I can hope, can't I? 😁14
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Kid(age: 17): What kind of programming do you do?
Me: Well, I started writing scripts in Python, but in the last few months I moved to IOS development, so like making apps.
Kid: So you write scripts for phones?
Me: Not exactly—
Kid: Do you know what jailbreaking is?
Me: Yeah.
Kid: So do you jailbreak stuff?
Me: No—
Kid: Oh so you don’t really do programming.
:’(19 -
People like this disgust me. I know one guy I worked with that bought his kid one of these, I asked him what for and he said: "there's that fortnite game everybody talks about"
Spoild brat.
16 -
Trying to teach coding to a kid:
Kid: Can you teach me XCode?
Me: No but I can teach you Swift or Objective-C
Kid: But I want to learn to code in XCode
Me: Yes you will code in XCode but I will teach you swift
Kid: My dad said that you actually know how to code but apparently not.12 -
On Friday I deployed to a life site without going through code review or any testing whatsoever. I am now known around the office as 'Billy the Kid'.
6 -
I remember learning about the semicolon as a kid, I thought it was just another useless punctuation mark. About a decade later and my whole life depends on it...2
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I kid you not, it's been impossible to find a rubber duck, so I had to make my own. Yes, his head is wonky, it's intentional, I wanted him to match me 😁
16 -
If grade school was like stack overflow:
Kid: "I can't figure out how to subtract on this problem."
Teacher: "LULZ you fuckin dumbass, someone already asked about subtraction! Learn to Google and stop wasting my time!"9 -
Having a PM is like having a little kid, while driving somewhere, and he's constantly asking: "Are we there yet??".8
-
I remember reading shampoo directions as a kid and it feeling wrong to exit the cycle.
1. wet hair
2. apply shampoo
3. lather
4. repeat
I didn't choose development life, it chose me2 -
Spent 2 hours helping some kid learn python, he ended up using it to make DDoS products. I feel used and ashamed (':
9 -
When you've been a developer for 13 years and new kid comes in and shows you stuff you don't understand #kidsthesedays3
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Alias coworker = high school classmate
This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.
1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.
So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.6 -
My first hack... Back at the days when phones had disks to dial a number. I was a kid of cause, I'm not that old. I used to like to call my grans. Once, when I supposed to go to sleep already, I've found out that there is phone socket in my room (the one connected to the copper wire, that is where the word "phone line" came from).
It took me about a half of an hour to detach handset from the toy phone and about two ours to reverse engineer dialing protocol (you just need to disconnect the line sequentially corresponding number if times).
And after that I've heard my granny's voice. I was literally overwhelmed that it worked.6 -
This kind of user dropped his head when he was a kid
Translation: “The creator said this is made by indonesia but the desc uses english :cringesmiley”
15 -
An actual quote from a kid in my English Class:
"Because I'm a programmer, everything I make has to be perfect, cause that's what it's like when you work with code".10 -
Some kid in my class just legit asked the teacher what a router and a modem is.
The thing is: the teacher didnt even know.12 -
The sound of your $1500 MacBook crashing into the hard tile floor from a very tall breakfast bar...
Why are we babysitting this kid again?17 -
It's so hard to pick a good variable/class name, how the hell will I be able to pick a good name for my future kid?5
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RememberMe's relatives' guide to raising a kid:
1. Enroll kid in school IT course - Java/SQL.
2. Let kid be useless on Facebook all day. Kid doesn't write a line of code unless it's for exams.
3. Realize that kid need to do a project for 12th grade (final year in school).
4. Complain loudly to everyone in the vicinity.
5. Let kid choose a project waaay above her skill level.
6. Have some other relative mention that RememberMe is a "computer waala" (computer person).
7. Ask poor RememberMe to do the kid's project.
8. Use typical family blackmail ("oh you can't have that much work, do something for your family for once").
Yeah, nope. Get lost. I don't mind teaching, but I'm not doing your work for you.6 -
So my CEO wants me to move to architecting systems!!!!!!!! My dream since a kid !!!
It seems like a mad job where you're a crazy scientist 😂
What should I read or do to be better ? -
I kid you not, this was in some of our official corporate training.
Unfortunately, this often is how our business area "functions"
6 -
TIL Powershell is open source (MIT)!
https://github.com/PowerShell/...
Apparently Microsoft has opensourced a lot of stuff:
https://opensource.microsoft.com
Here's the list, sorted by "awesomeness" (I kid you not):
https://opensource.microsoft.com//...
Interesting (ง°ل͜°)ง8 -
Just got my first IT job (I'm 19 y/o)
I am a C# programming teacher now :D for teens aged 15-18
I like it but I've had the chance to give the first lecture and there's this kid
Who is constantly interrupting
"Excuse me, programming is boring, when will you tell us how to break passwords"
"Excuse me, I have this neighbour I don't like, how do I put his printer on fire using code?"
"Excuse me, so we now know what classes are but can you tell us how to run fork bomb on system startup?"
afohsdofhidsfoidfsg
I suppose the kid will be becoming famous here over time
Also, out of rant, what do you wish your lecturers said to you when you were just getting started?17 -
Holy shit! Apple deprecates OpenGL.
How dumb can they be? They really want to be this arrogant kid in the corner that only plays with itself, won't they?9 -
Saw a nerdy kid with an awesome coding t-shirt bragging about his immense programming and "hacking" abilities.
"What's your favorite programming language?" I ask.
"Scratch."
...
22 -
Introduce a subject called "proper use of search engines" and make every kid attend it regularly, just like gym classes.5
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Teacher : What's 1+6 ?
Some kid : it's 7
Fan boy: Shut the fuck up kid.It's still 6.. It's Oneplus 6.13 -
#¤%@ kid!!! My 5yo son has obviously been playing with his mom's mobile phone. At first, I thought it was a little cute, when I received incoherent texts about Roblox, one of his favourite games.
But then, I suddenly heard from my sister who was really upset and worried. She was wondering if my gf really wants to see her dead, after receiving a facebook pm in English, saying "oh die :-)".
No need for auntie to take it personally though; turned out she was not the only one getting the same message :-O
A little boy is facing a mobile ban for a very long time...8 -
I reached a point where I'll be happily working as the kid who serves coffee and tea to random strangers and not work at a company, as a freelancer OR WITH FUCKING HUMANS!
I'm out !!15 -
Kid: How do you know what to use in a script?
Me: I've either used it before or look at documentation.
Kid: You're silly, I bet I know who knows everything and can tell you what the answers are!
Me: Oh? Who's that, the code creator?
Kid: Mistah Google behind my browser! Just ask him and he tells you everything he knows!
The little shit will be going places...2 -
Java in 2000: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my kid
Java in 2020: Just to be clear, JavaScript is not my dad4 -
When I was a kid, I thought softonic was the best website to download crack softwares
Ohh poor me 😐😐4 -
I kid you not, one of my designer friends dipped his toes into coding, he ran into a problem...
Wondered why the following function wasn't returning a random number...
public Int getRandomNumber(){
return 4;
}
#facePalm #stickToDesigning7 -
!rant
As a kid I tried to compress one zip file 4-5 times...self praising myself that I just found the world's best idea to save hard-disk space!!! Only to realise that sometimes, I'm stupid.2 -
This fucking kid has the audacity to ask for me to decompile someone else's work and recompile it for a newer version. Wtf man
4 -
The "explain x to an x years old boy/girl" questions are easy yet tricky.
Interviewer: Explain machine learning to an 8th years old kid.
"Imagine if <insert anecdotal example here>"
Interviewer: The kid is asleep. Try harder.4 -
!Story
So I Met this kid (11 or 12) when I was younger
15or so
And he asked me what I wanted to become I said:
Programmer...
He was AMAZED by this job and INSTANTLY wanted to become one too...
So I showed him the Basis of programming with Scratch for EDU, he was pretty good and Made some "good" Games.
Then I wanted to work on my little unity Game...
So I started to Programm on my surface pro 4
He looked at me and asked:
What are you Doing? What is this?
I explained that coding isn't always Scratch and that there are MANY ways to code,
Some are like Scratch and other arent...
He FREAKED THE HELL OUT!
And was Like:
I WANTED TO LEARN CODING NOT SOME OTHER BULLSHIT LIKE SCRATCH!
I WANT TO BECOME LIK,E YOU!
We never met again...7 -
Hey boss, I see you working saturday 11pm updating these fucking cards...
That is why you manage to "do the impossible" , get a life dude... go be with your wife and "soon to be" kid.
Damn, no wonder he always says the deadline is possible.2 -
My less than a year old is trying repeated times to make his head go through a window glass, and crying after every attempt.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE KID????????6 -
Just tech screened a kid for a senior Network automation role, in a specific niche.
He's never automated anything before. Didn't know networking basics, didn't know about the niche...
This guy hasn't heard of unit testing or UDP... good luck out there kid. You've got balls anyway.14 -
Some young kid taking his first steps into compsci was being straight-up fucking harassed on SO. No one answered, instead users with really high rep just said shit like "if you tried to hang yourself with that code it'd come apart but you should check anyway" in the comments. I flagged the comments and got fucking banned from the entire Stack Exchange network. I created a new account to help the kid, posted an answer, and was banned and had my answer removed within 5 minutes.
SE can burn in hell.11 -
Maybe this is my retribution for participating in yesterday's rant about public transportation.
Saturday morning, I had an 🥚and 🍌. I was happy.
I went out to meet with my GF.
I got a window seat on bus.
The seat on my left was empty for few stops.
A mudafucka big kid came and sit beside me.
I was like, cool, heyyo kid. Not some greasy old dudes or ready to slap chicks.
Oh boy can I be wronger?
The mudafucka big kid started with right butt scratch using right hand.
Then followed up by left butt scratch with left hand.
And then did a wiggly body scratching using his seat like an alien snake.
I got itchy looking at him.
Also I said big two times because he spread his big thighs so wide it took 1/3 of my seat.
And now playing loud ass games on his phone.
Not a good sign for my Saturday.1 -
A kid that went to my daughter's preschool class died (they are in the 3-4 years old range)
The parents still don't know what their kid died from some virus.
They said the kid became braindead so I'm guessing meningitis?
Meanwhile we're pretty scared, and unsure if we should keep sending our kid.
I'm very disappointed in the way the school handled this, like no quarantine, no fucking notice on our kid's book about how they're going to deal with this.
Fucking piece of shit school.
Everyone on the whatsapp group is sad, saying religious shit. Hello!!!! Can I know what this kid died from so my kids don't die too????
I feel sad for the parents and the kid but... everyone is reacting in a very stupid way to this.
Like no one's gonna even fucking ask if this kid went to class this week and potentially passed it to other kids?
Fuck this dumbass mediocre country.10 -
Teacher: what is 1 + 1?
kid : I don't know
Teacher: Ok! you have one man and one women, how many are there?
Kid: Three.
Teacher: how?
Kid: There was my mom and dad, when they add up we become three.
Teacher: %(;:)--,^$2 -
You guys ever thought about the concept that our universe might be a simulation written by some alien kid for a school project and got a C- for it?
Yeah...perhaps I should go to sleep18 -
When I was a kid I fucked with a ouija board and now trying to debug massive regex expressions I swear Satan has finally come to screw me9
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On Saturday's I volunteer at this place where I teach/tutor kids how to program. I was sitting down with this kid and helping him when I found this pleasant surprise hidden in his code-
[go to my other rant for pt.2]
6 -
C#
Little Sister: Why is the hashtag in the wrong place?
Me: Kid, that's not a hashtag. That is a sharp. C - sharp.4 -
My younger sister has to write a story for her assignment and she isn't getting any ideas . So I suggested this :
A story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas ,so he writes a story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas ,so he writes a story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas... till 200 words.10 -
Holy shit why can't you just work. Stop talking about your kids from 9 am to 5pm with the orther person sitting next to you who clearly wants to get some work done.
Also, good on you for baking a cake and your kid saying this is the best cake. Every kid says that to your parent.
FFS, shut up and work, and let people around you work.
P.S. I need good headphones, preferably in ear wireless buds. I'm waiting for Pixel Buda 2.17 -
When I was a kid I programmed a musical tune in QBasic (1994). It was magic. That "beep blips woin blop tuuuuu blups" coming out of the 386 builtin speaker just sounded like: "World, you are the next".
-
Was playing Call of Duty online and after the match, this kid types "git good" in the chat.
Was impressed kids are starting young these days!2 -
Walk into mall, bring my child to kids zone. They have free wifi 🤤
Accessing -> Scanning -> Got Ya! -> Brute Force -> Cracked!
There you're.
Now I can monitoring my kid while reading rant!
Just normal day in my life
6 -
A kid I work with referred to himself as a former child genius.
A few hours later and I’m still cringing4 -
Is Santa coming to your house? Use my "advanced" algorithm to find out.
Person kid = getKidByName("yourName");
FatGuy santa = new FatGuy("santa");
if(!kid.wasNaughty()){
System.out.println("Good child");
santa.sendGift(kid, "train");
return;
}
System.out.println("You're on the naughty list");
santa.sendGift(kid, "coal");15 -
Raising kids is like using Windows. You know what you want him to do, the kid knows what you want him to do,... But he still decides to do whatever HE wants.
The frustration level is the same11 -
My face when some kid on the tram sits right next to you, although 90% of the seats are empty, and then begins to excessively stalk your phone whilst surfing on Facebook and devrant.
Get off, kiddo 😐3 -
A jr colleague came back from a react.js code camp.
Those hipsters turned the poor kid into a one liner terrorist and buzzword spammer.
It's time to play bad cop and start enforcing line length limit. -
Just saw a drunk kid run out in front of an Uber self driving car... Almost witnessed the end to self driving cars.1
-
The people saying that ChatGPT will replace programmers are the same ones that thought as a kid that math was useless because you have calculators8
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Were you afraid of the dark as a kid? Obviously you were afraid because you were a racist. Now go relearn all the words surrounding systems too complex for me to figure out you racist bastards.12
-
You have 2 years to live. You have a spouse and kid. Google offers half your salary to your spouse for 10 years and survivor’s benefits for your kid until they’re 23 (correct if I’m wrong) if you die while being employed by them.
Would you spend those 2 years practicing algorithms and your CS knowledge to get into Google? Or spend the precious little time you have left with your family?8 -
My 82 year old mother’s follow up question to family member who said her son was a moving to Atlanta, GA to be a Network Engineer.
Oh like CNN?
When she was kid her family owned a crank phone.1 -
Cause day and night
The lonely coder seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely coder seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night) -
When I was a kid, I saw "War Games". I was awed by the power of technology and the posibility of the AI. That was the moment when I decided that I wanted to be a dev.3
-
Got error: I am such a noob programmer, dumb, I hate my life, I hate programming... *cries like a kid*
Error fixed: I am God!2 -
Colleague: No the logic is stored in post_2.php but before you edit it make sure you make a post_2.bk.php just in case we need to revert the change.
Me: ....k4 -
Went to the mall with mom the other day,
Mum: so what do you want?
Me: (pointing to stress ball) that ball
Mum: stop embarrassing us, are you a kid?
Me: they are stress balls
Mum: take a pill or exercise if you stressed
My mind: I told you not to go the mall with your, fucking kid....
devrant a ni**a really need them stress balls9 -
This kid in my software development class comes up to me and says, "this class is the best class to get hungry in. Because it is all about the bytes"2
-
Isn't it obvious?
He ran the most well known tech company at the time; who I wanted to become when I was a kid when I first started programming.7 -
Since I was a kid, I always thought that my dream was to be a Computer Engineer.
As a Engineering Student, my dream is to have a 8h+ night sleep.1 -
Why is every fucking kid on campus watching me make something in vs and saying:
“WhOa ArE YoU hAcKinG”6 -
I have that desire (which is with me since I was kid) to build a drone (Quad-copter) and control it with my hand gestures.
So, I decided to start with it in my spare time, I am planning to buy a Raspberry PI and other materials to build the drone, and create a Gesture Recognizer app using OpenCV.
Wish me some luck !6 -
When I was a kid :
- Bugs eat grass
Now:
- Bugs eat time
I still wonder when will the day come when I write bug-free code in my first attempt (:(8 -
So... Lots of rants about hacking.
Let me yell you a story...
Two decades ago I was asked to fix the school library computers and block then from using mIRC.
I cleaned all the machines, reinstalled the pirate copy of windows I was provided, blocked installing programs, blocked running of programs except the ones required (office, Netscape) and vnc in every computer, that I could access in a off-site computer.
Next day all the computers had mIRC... Just to show how kids are smart... Someone changed the MIRC.exe to iexplore.exe and that way could execute any program he wanted...
Invisible hard drive? Just use command line (so he could copy mIRC to a hidden folder)
Still, scared lots of kids, wen watching porn and a message would pop up , asking to not watch porn in school, but never couth the guy -
My best dev-memories of 2016??
First in february I won a competition (Jugend - Forscht) in which i had programmed an interpreter. And then, the first time my selfmade compiler actually printed hello world... -
As a kid (in the 90s) I used to get a reoccurring nightmare that my family computer would get a blue screen of death and start screaming at me.
Legit hated computers as a kid because of that.2 -
Remember that kid with the dual Xeon, Nvidia Titan X SLI and 64GB of RAM, that he uses just to compile Gentoo and run bspwm on it?
Looks like he's designed a car now.2 -
Had Weekend free for my own...No Kid No wife...just plenty time...what did?...I brew beer 🍺😎👌...of course I didnt used any ready-to-go mixtures...all done from the basics. Feels so good11
-
Tried to be normal and sit outside in the sun while my kid played.
Damn sun glare on the laptop and bugs. -
I still remember developing my personal website using Microsoft FrontPage when I was a young kid. At that time I saw Microsoft Visual Basic on programs list too but don't even bother to click on it.
If only I clicked on it.2 -
There shouldn't be "I don't like you so I'm gonna hinder your work" at professional workplaces.
Feels like I'm dealing with a kindergarten kid. WTF.3 -
I only wish that my agile team comes up with the task breakup and documents the implementation approach to our project, as good as this kid did, while panning for a party!
img source: reddit
-
yo canada WHAT THE FUCK
that kid who asked me for help
the ministry or w/e got back to me
"we cannot help this child as their abusers were deemed untouchable"
FUCK DO YOU MEAN UNTOUCHABLE12 -
I just discovered that the school my toddler goes to has a policy where they have a meeting with you if your kid gets there late 3 times.
I'm fine with something like 5, but 3!!!!
Jesus fucking christ, she's 4!
The amount of effort I have to put to awake, bathe, dress and feed this kid is unholy, and the time it takes can fluctuate.4 -
Building sites for friends as a favor. You’d think I’d have learned by now that this is an eventual friendship killer. And if the site isn’t the friendship killer, when a friendship goes bad, the site becomes like a kid in a custody dispute. In my case, I’m happy to turn the kid over, but you gotta pay attention to what I tell you about him because when he misbehaves, you’re not gonna want to seek me out for a solution.4
-
This lady hotdesking near me harps on about her amazing Meetup that she's organized. She believes she can be an authority on a highly technical subject without knowing how to force quit an app on her Mac.
Shysters!3 -
At home I don't need to lock my computer. I just put the cursor into a vim shell. It's amusing what my kid leaves for me there.5
-
When I was a kid I loved Microsoft because they built that thingy that I could play my computer games on. I learned how to reinstall the magical but fragile Windows out of necessity, instantly promoting me to the position of the family's computer whizz-kid.
Now I just see them as one of many shady international mega corporations who on behalf of their shareholders best interest (oh the irony) are fighting to gain power so that they one day may own the planet and basically rule over everything (yess, stocks reach all time high!) -
This is probably not a popular comment, but here are the reasons I sometimes do not like working from home.
- if I don't get food, the kid starve
- if there's a meeting, the kid decides to play piano
- I have to watch delivered food that needs refrigerated to rot, while I really want to focus on that mudafukin bug
- if misus is not sleeping during the day, there is a 50% chance I smell something burnt in the house
Feel free to add to this list8 -
Am currently at a jamboree where one kid said he was really good at maths. Then another younger kid asked him what 12 + 12. The first kid then said 24 to which the second kid laughed and said "twelvetwelve". Then the small kid promptly ran away yelling "catch me catch me".
They really do say the darnest things, but concatenation was unexpected :v
4 -
I am not good with kids. I know I know. Last week or so, my managers kid thought it would be a good idea to hijack my meeting. I was sharing my screen and on full blown explanation mode, only to realise after my explanation, it was the kid who was looking at my face and not the boss man.
God I panicked. I was like 'Who the hell are you?'
--------*INSERT AWKWARD SILENCE HERE *---------2 -
So... has anyone yet made a comment about now exHead AMD Chief of GPU division Raja Koduri joining Intel?
Now this is awkward after I made this OC image not so long ago :/
https://devrant.com/rants/896872/...
Also in other news can we comment that Systemd has pretty much took over most linux distros? is this the new NSA backdoor? (before someone points out is open source, have anyone been able to properly audit it?)
4 -
And here's that app.css single file that my predecessor left for entire project. It's the second work he left a treat for me.
Kill me please.
Btw the code looks like it's been written by a second grade kid...
4 -
Chrome's that kid who used to come over to your house growing up, who would raid your pantry and eat all of your food.5
-
The word, "Code" being used as a verb,
"Cloud",
'Big Data",
Recruiters,
Scratch,
Any other crappy "Teach your kid to code!" Product,
And finally, mondays.
This is the comprehensive list of buzzwords and things in general that make me want to die right now7 -
Google's new Material design, with more curvy elements with broad borders, woth cocky font ...... is UGLY as FUCK
12 year kid at work10 -
Don't know why Google named it Pie... Just doesn't feel right TBH... Peppermint would have been better. Pie feels like an OS every fat kid would have on their phone.9
-
Been sick all day, got to work from home. Kid goes down for a nap, my wife leaves to run her errands. Finally starting to get into my groove after blah-ing most of the day. So of course my kid decides to wake up earlier than expected. :P2
-
You know how some kid says "poo" like it's the best joke ever? That's exactly what your shitty "programmer" jokes are like, and we're all fucking tired of them (not to mention we've already heard them countless times).8
-
Anyone got interviewed by an 18 year old kid for a freelance project... like is he planning on paying me from his allowance or what7
-
Whenever I come accross a framework I didn't know about I feel like a little kid openning a Christmas present !1
-
Recently got around to dual booting my home machine with Ubuntu.
Now every time I log in, in my head i hear the kid from Jurassic Park exclaim "this is a unix system!"1 -
I've been reading devRant at work for the past 6 months and it kept me sane through a few moments. Thanks. :)
And now I finally started to feel that maybe even I could have some horror stories to share. (I've been in the company for more than 4 years)
(Sorry for long post.
TL;DR: break time laws suck in my country.)
One example would probably be how our company decided to cut 5 minutes from our lunch time (down to 25 minutes) and add 3 minutes to our 5 minute coffee break(*"gifted" by our CEO) in the afternoon.
You're probably asking yourself, "What happened to the remaining 2 minutes?".
*Well, it's simple. In my country it's somehow still legal to have only 30 minutes of break time for the whole day if working hours don't exceed 10 hours. It's actually written in the law that you CAN divide that lunch break time to be placed at different times. To me that sound like fucking nuts...
Thankfully nobody's taking that time change quite literally and most people still use the full 30 minutes. But some people here have been fired for much less, so I don't play around. I just pretend to work while reading devRant. 😎3 -
When the day gets rough, I either read comics or start sketching cartoons. Yeah! I know. I sound like a kid.2
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Video of a kid doing something:
LinkedIn user: no matter how small you are you can conquer the world and cure cancer.
Comment one:haha very true
comment two:nope the kid must be at least 3 feet tall
Next post
Oracle: have to tried enterprises something and enterprises something, give me all your money
Rant inspired by https://devrant.com/rants/2131330/...2 -
That one kid who knows absolutely everything there is to know about computers... As long as they run Windows.2
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Comp Science teacher - “What is an object?”
Kid sitting next to me - “Women”
That was nice considering I am one...9 -
Why I chose computer science?
I simply played GTA vice city when I was a kid , and that's how I became a fan of cs!
SEEMS WEIRD I KNOW:/3 -
I mentored at a teachers workshop (Code Create Teach) as a high school student once. But the teachers didn’t seem to happy having a kid teach them though.
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This senior engineer had this kid spend most of a day tracing down all of the instances of a certain variable so they could make heavy changes to the software. We work under a change management system of course and all of this led to two weeks of work outside of any of this. The senior engineer ended up 🔥 and the kid very close.
I'm still trying to figure out what makes someone do something like that knowing the outcome. -
Uuugh... 'come let's build a standard with in the company'
Two ( and I kid you not) weeks later, we don't get it anymore let's build a new standard4 -
No... like seriously, how do you pronounce Elon Musk child's name?
=> X AE A-XII
I think that kid is fucked!11 -
When you have an error and you search for the solution on Google a video pops up a there is a kid maybe 10 years old explaining the problem. 😥1
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When I was fresh out of school at my first job, we worked with an external consultant that refused to answer my emails directly since I was only a lite shit kid. Had to send all my emails thru my boss to get a reply.
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Once when I attended Global Game Jam, I worked on a game pretty much 36 hours straight, excluding some lunch breaks. Didn't sleep for 46 hours.
Gotta say, was a pretty weird feeling to wake up to tuesday when I went to sleep like 4 AM on monday. I slept over 20 hours. I remember waking up at one point and thinking that I'm still tired, so I'll just go back to sleep.
That was the one time when I truly 'slept a day away'. -
My dad was a young guy, and I like animation like young kid...
I found my dad's hentai porn on his computer. Sorry dad.3 -
Currently sitting in the lobby for my first interview for my bachelor in computer science.
Graduation is in june.
Wish me luck3 -
There is a kid in my Computer Studies class that will not for any reason stop playing Bo Burnham songs. He also thinks it's funny to play every sound in our Flash library that the teacher gives us. kill Me now1
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Update on the kid with computer parts in his hand (ref: https://devrant.com/rants/1098717)
The old man came in and bought a refurbished computer. He didn't fart, thankfully.2 -
Code didn't change my life because I've been coding since I was a kid. You could say that it shaped my life instead. I don't know life without code. I don't know if that's good or it's not...
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What is windows actually looking for when it's "looking for a solution", it's like a kid trying their hardest to spell a word. There's a chance it'll work, but realistically there is no hope.1
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1. Kids school compound while waiting for the kid
2. Stopping the car on the sidewalk during rush hour for a hot fix
3. Parking lot of a marriage
I do this a lot.5 -
Was hiring a front-end dev once. Job ad was for basic html/css and graphic design skills. Perfect part-time job for intern or high school kid to get their feet wet. Boss sits in on interview and after I asked all the necessary questions related to position, boss starts asking him programming related questions similar to my position. (php, Mysql, apis, managing vps, custom shopping cart code )
Way to drop a bomb on a kid who is potentially interested in working here. -
“Your code is so shit I could use it to torture people.“ - Some random kid from my Computer Science class (No, it wasn’t directed to me)
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Unrelated to programming:
If I'm doing async karaoke (i.e., I'm using an app like Smule where one person records one part and you join or vice versa) and the other person decides to randomly COME INTO MY LANE and not just sing my part, but sing it off-key, I get irrationally annoyed about it. It's great if they do that at the beginning of the song because then you can just bail. But when they do it at like the very end, I'm like ... 😬 -
Just any time at all I had to use Microsoft Word 98 as a kid. Rip every paper ever before I learned to save constantly.
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I've realized that what I once thought of as a glamorous job is really no different than any other. Speed and quantity is praised over quality and adoration is never received. Prestige is as much dependent on who you know than your code.
Maybe I'm just jaded.1 -
Best thing about being a dev?
Going on Roblox and some kid claims he was a hacker, then you tell him why he isn't and does not know any of the tech terms you use. Then again why am I playing roblox4 -
PISS ON YOUR PANTS BOSS
PISS ON WORDPRESS TOO
GO EAT A TUPLE OF ASS SINGING SPOILED FOODS YOU SPOILED LITTLE KID
GO BANANAS AND EXILE YOURSELF TO OBLIVION3 -
guess who is working on a 10+ GB hg repository using sourcetree on a macbook air
hint: I DO
pull, update lasts so long, there are new changesets to pull (hours, i kid you not)2 -
Playing video games on my PS1 when I was a kid inspired me to explore programming 😎
When I learned how Gameshark works I was blown away! -
When the client starts asking you for features like a kid asking santa for presents.
"It would be nice to have this... Oh! And that..."
Two weeks later, "I forgot to menthion, I also want this this and this"
He thinks He's in a buffet?!2 -
installing a composer package is like trying to get a kid to sleep while the upstairs neighbors have a party.3
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Finally I updated my profile on devrant , Next step to update it on google or gavtars because it shows picture when I was a kid.
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There's this one kid in my web design lab (I go to a technical highschool) and he always brags about using bootstrap and that's all he does is copy from the bootstrap library pisses me off!
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Made a small text adventure type game with C++ when I was a kid. Was great to just play that over and over and revel in my mastery of if statements and while loops.
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I get invited to happy hour and get togethers all the time but don't want to go. Stop inviting me to shit. I'm sick of thinking up excuses. There are only so many times I can say my kid has something going on.2
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just had some kid tell me that angular and c sharp was the wave of the future - went on to say he had been coding for 5 years ... ahhhhh wtf is wrong with people ahhhhh5
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Is it just me or did Outlook decide my antispam is no longer needed. All of the sudden it looks like I turned off my ad-blocker on BuzzFeed. I'm now getting a lot of spam from the stupidest things.
I kid you not.
2 -
I love that I need to fucking babysit the fucking CI pipeline because, half of the times, it just RANDOMLY FAILS and I need to hit that fucking retry button like a 19th century kid respooling a loom.8
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I've decided to set up an old laptop for my granddaughter. Top two contenders for OS are Doudou and Qimo. I thought about Edubuntu, but that one isn't really kid friendly, and it's designed by "educationists" sic.3
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So my kid tells me that her teacher said my kid could teach the class. I told my kid that was great, good job!
Later my kid is talking to me:
Kid: Nerd!
Me: If I remember correctly. Your teacher said you could teach her class. My teachers never told me that. I think that makes you the nerd.
Kid: <big frown>3 -
Curiosity as a kid with Visual Basic. Then university courses with Java and learning C++ on the side. And started the self learning journey from there. I never touch those 3 first languages anymore.3
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I have a pretty poor memory so I'm not sure my first exposure. I do distinctly remember fucking with the configurations on the school computers to drive the teachers nuts as a kid. So I'm going with that.
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Just got off work, pulled up to the stoplight right outside the office, and some kid texting on his phone rear ended me. That was about an hour ago. So that's how my week ended. How's yours going?2
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Google is trying to handicaped us,,,, it treats us as a kid providing each and everything in plate,,, its lol now we are 60% under surveillance of google.....
""Bhai chate kya ho""
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I came to a new school this year and didn't know anyone. I found out that there is a kid who likes to code, so I tried getting friendly with him.
Well, he knows HTMl/CSS...
Well, he just does Wordpress...
Well, he actually likes design better...
I've seen someone else who was trying to learn JS, learn with him, and the kid couldn't wrap his head around what a function did...4 -
Dragon ball episode 122 Songo kills Piccolo by flying trough him and making big hole in the middle of his chest.
Kids approved.
I liked watching it when I was little kid.
👍3 -
My first exposure to computers was my mom’s Commodore 64 when I was a kid. I used to love playing “Impossible Mission” and “Way Out” on there. Eventually I started programming in Basic on it.
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I didn't, I just loved to break windows as a kid, and I learned Scratch and Small Basic vis their pdfs. _I had no internet and lots of time as a child, OK?_4
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Alright! What's this hype on another X language/framework. Let me just jump right in because that will make me a cool kid.2
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I got more interested about the technical side of bugs in video games.
Really didn't understand the Pokémon hype as a kid, few months ago watched an entire YouTube series explaining the Old Man Glitch and ACE exploits in the game. 🤷♂️1 -
I was so excited like a kid when I received this.. Thank You devRant... *happily stick on my mac* *excited*
1 -
An I the only one who gets scared when a piece of code break. Like I feel like a bad little kid like omg I broke it please don't look I'm sorry please I didn't mean I'm so sorry
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When you enter a college club as a Tech recruit, but they send you for organising fucking events. 😡😡
I mean, are you Mr. Miyagi from fucking Karate Kid movie? -
Scanning antennas TV channels again on my HDTV and now reviewing my catch (50 channels) and saw this, now in HD.
Looks so much better now then when I was a kid but also started to get a bit emotional
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Used a keylogger to get my cousin's facebook password.
Now that 12 year old kid thinks that I am a badass hacker secretly working for the NSA😎.31 -
Here in this tweet is way to some good swags: Check out @garabatokid’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/garabatokid/...
Sharing with you because I really want to help him and apso the stuff is good, but I've got no money... :( -
bumping kid cudi's Entergalatic, which I totally somehow missed while in depression working for the 🤡s last year
its so sick, this guy never misses
great hacking music3 -
If you thought your Walmart near you was crazy ... you haven’t been to San Jose Walmart in California .. it’s soooo bad here everything is fucken locked up... I kid you not I’ve never seen such shit, from the people and the environment.... wtf3
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Theres a kid competicion on infocmatics, I will take part of. I have built a compiler, and wanted to have an eye catcher for my project-presentationstable. Any good Ideas? IT schould be understandable by non-tech people3
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When I was a kid, I used to wonder why doesn't the video tab on Google search open a YouTube search...
._.3 -
So this situation happened a while ago, but I am still pretty angry about it. I am learning Haskell, and it wasn't working, so I asked someone for help. Turns out, he had only been learning how to program for a couple weeks now, and as soon as he saw it, he burst out laughing.
He was making fun of me in the sense that I had only written one line (What?!) OKAY, first off, does this kid know what Haskell can do in one line? Much more than his beloved python, in which, the most complex thing this moron has made was a for loop. And second off, this kid is just like those retarded coworkers and bosses that measure productivity by lines.
I'm not gonna hate the kid because he's learning, but I can see he superiority growing a couple weeks in
God forbid he EVER takes this as a career option, else he may be the most arrogant, annoying human being alive. -
The best way to get a kid interested in coding is give them legos. If they hate legos, they most likely wont like programming, or anything that requires you to understand how something is designed in order to build a service or product.
Next is just to see what the kid likes and what they're good at.2 -
Imma start something similar to jack films like YIAY but YIAD which means yesterday I asked devs and then the question
#1 how would u treat ur errors as if we're a kid? , leave answers in comments below3 -
I need one of those CEO's kid jobs where you to a board meeting every 6 months and collect your trust fund2
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I have pictures of me as a tiny toddler, playing on our family computer. I remember "working" on Microsoft Word for hours on end as a kid.
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Upgraded my project from .NET 6 to .NET 7.
Looks like some kid who writes shit in JavaScript and pats themselves on the back has had some input on System.Text.Json
JsonDerivedTypeAttribute
8 -
Total personal rebranding, mark zuck T-shirts, total CV changeover (change the weird perl & haskell skills, to javascript) you know cool kid stuff.
wish you all luck, am about to become rich, watch out.6 -
I am watching The Karate Kid and it made me wonder if there is a way to teach someone to code without them realizing they have been coding the whole time.
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If a "not a CSE " kid tries to do something in ECA, people are appreciative of that.
But if a CSE guy does it, it is just another nerdy thing he does to become "cool".
WTF5 -
I develop for a Minecraft server, (Ik, MC is a dead meme, etc.) and I got a snippet of code from a kid one day asking for help debugging. He was missing a square bracket. How relatable.
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Given that we went to an organized crime dumping grounds as a kid, he watched alot of mob movies and the place where he let me get hurt as a kid is sex trafficking central I would imagine my dad wanted me to be a criminal. poor him.
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Watched the same dirty cops milling around
And listened to some kid mimic something I said as a kid in what was just a completely novel situation with no prompting 40+ years later
We’re they selling someone who
Looked like me ? Because sure as fuck sounds like they are now -
Python - I am cool, I fuck well
C++ - I am old, but I fuck fast. Get lost kid.
Python runtime sucks man !8 -
Apparently the barn scene I watched as a kid from high plains drifter is not to be found on YouTube ,🙄
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