When I was a kid, I thought softonic was the best website to download crack softwares

Ohh poor me 😐😐

The site I'm working on works in Chrome, Safari, Edge

But not freaking Firefox.

I hate you Firefox, please leave.

(Disclaimer: Pls don't kill me. Freedom of opinion)

government is like an abusive spouse

WHERE DID YOU GO, WHAT DID YOU DO

ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME, YOU TERRORIST?! YOU'RE OUT TO GET ME AREN'T YOU

CLEMENTINE WILL REMEMBER THIS, *writes lists about innocuous things that may or may not actually happened*

Why are you helping your neighbours but not me =[ taxes pls
it is your wifely/husbandly DUTY to service me! it is immoral to do anything else
YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! *proceeds to "educate", ignores any feedback and makes excuses to why they're not listening to you -- because it's not reaaaalllly technically ignoring you!*

DON'T TALK TO FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS, DON'T YOU KNOW THEY HATE YOU?! WE CAN ONLY TRUST EACH OTHER

proceeds to sleep with a foreign government on you

I've bought my new laptop (vostro 5471 with ips, 8250u, 8gb ram, 256gb ssd) and it came with ubuntu.
I was keen to give linux a shot but I just got frustrated and installed windows. Now I feel dirty on the inside. Any tips to get comfortable with linux? Distro recommendations are also welcome.