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TL;DR: Clients are dumb.
Client IT Lead: "Your code isn't working on our website."
Me: "Because you didn't load our code into your website. Do that, and everything works."
CIL: <proposes terrible alternative>
M: "No fix on my end will matter if you don't load our code into your website."
CIL: <more disagreement>
M: "Let me discuss with my team and I'll get back to you."
... later that day, in a follow up meeting with client's team ...
M: "Load our code into your website as was initially intended and everything works fine."
CIL's Boss: "That makes complete sense, and I'm not sure why we weren't doing that from the beginning. Let's make that happen, CIL."
CIL: "Okay."
——
👨🏽💻🤷🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️7 -
Today (as a joke), I asked my class if there were any “professional HTML programmers” who could help me.
Surprisingly a couple people came over with smirks on their face. I thought they were going along with the joke.
Turns out, they were serious. They legitimately believed that they were professional HTML programmers and talked to me in such a condescending way that I was speechless.
“This is called a file. See that part after the dot? That’s what makes it HTML. HTML is an incredibly hard programming language and powers CPUs and the computer that you are using.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Hopefully they were joking.9 -
IF PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES WERE DRUGS:
JavaScript = Methamphetamine:
Anyone can cook some up at home but only pros can make the good stuff without blowing everything up.
Under the influence it tries to do everything at once, in seemingly no specific order before running off and making plenty of promises - but you have no clue if it kept any until it returns.
C = Heroin:
It takes some prep before you can take a hit but when you do it's far more potent than expected. When prepped (compiled) correctly it will induce complete and utter ecstasy but any error or abuse may kill you, leave you on the floor, in a coma or wishing you were dead.
HTML = Paracetamol(Panado):
Some don't think it's a real drug and others do. Either way you should grow a pair and try something a little more hardcore.
--------------------------------------
I came up with these after I randomly explained asynchronous js to a junior as synchronous code on meth. These were just off the top of my head, please feel free to correct or expand on them :-)25 -
|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| backup + |
| encrypt all |
| the things |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| also test all |
| ur backups |
| so u don't |
| lose all ur |
| things |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ8 -
"You mean to tell me that you deleted the class that holds all our labels and spin boxes together?" I said exasperatedly.
~Record scratch.mp3
~Freeze frame.mp4
"You're probably wondering how we got to this stage? Let's wind back a little, shall we?"
~reverseRecordSound.wav
A light tapping was heard at the entrance of my office.
"Oh hey [Boss] how are you doing?" I said politely
"Do you want to talk here, or do you want to talk in my office? I don't have anyone in my office right now, so..."
"Ok, we can go to your office," I said.
We walked momentarily, my eyes following the newly placed carpeting.
Some words were shared, but nothing that seemed mildly important. Just necessary things to say. Platitudes, I supposed you could call them.
We get to his office, it was wider now because of some missing furniture. I quickly grab a seat.
"So tell me what you've been working on," I said politely.
"I just finished up on our [project] that required proper saving and restoring."
"Great! How did you pull it off?" I asked excitedly.
He starts to explain to me what he did, and even opens up the UI to display the changes working correctly.
"That's pretty cool," admiring his work.
"But what's going on here? It looks like you deleted my class." I said, looking at his code.
"Oh, yeah, that. It looked like spaghetti code so I deleted it. It seemed really bulky and unnecessary for what we were doing."
"Wait, hold on," I said wildly surprised that he thought that a class with some simple setters and getters was spaghetti code.
"You mean to tell me that you deleted the class that organizes all our labels and spin boxes together?" I said exasperatedly.
"Yeah! I put everything in a list of lists."
"What, that's not efficient at all!" I exclaimed
"Well, I mean look at what you were doing here," he said, as he displays to me my old code.
"What's confusing about that?" I asked politely, but a little unnerved that he did something like this.
"Well I mean look at this," he said, now showing his "improved" code.
"We don't have that huge block of code (referring to my class) anymore filling up the file." He said almost a little too joyously.
"Ok, hold on," I said to him, waving my hand. "Go back to my code and I can show you how it is working. Here we are getting all the labels and spin boxes into their own objects." I said pointing a little further down in the code. "Down here we are returning the spin boxes we want to work with. Here and here, are setters so we can set maximum and minimum values for the spin box."
"Oh... I guess that's not that complicated. but still, that doesn't seem like really good bookkeeping." He said.
"Well, there are some people that would argue with you on that," I said, thinking about devRant.
He quickly switches back to his code and shows me what he did. "Look, here." He said pointing to his list of lists. "We have our spin boxes and labels all called and accounted for. And further down we can use a for loop to parse through them."
He then drags both our version of the code and shows the differences. I pause him for a moment
"Hold on, you mean you think this" I'm now pointing at my setters "is more spaghetti than this" I'm now pointing at his list of lists.
"I mean yeah, it makes more sense to me to do it this way for the sake of bookkeeping because I don't understand your Object Oriented Programming stuff."
...
After some time of going back and forth on this, he finally said to me.
"It doesn't matter, this is my project."
Honestly, I was a little heart broken, because it may be his project but part of me is still in there. Part of my effort in making it the best it can be is in there.
I'm sorry, but it's just as much my project as it is yours.16 -
!rant
Programming is a huge blessing i believe we all should be thankful to. For me, it literally turned my life around.
11 months ago i was fighting a losing battle with depression, and contemplated suicide constantly. I would use a self remedy of smoking weed and sleeping all day long. I was depressed because i felt my life had no real value. I was doing nothing, and its kind of an infinite loop.
You don't do anything, so you feel bad, so you don't do anything, and so on.
That was until i finally took the step that changed my life. I searched and wanted to learn something. I always liked web pages so i thought id get into web development.
Did some research, found out that the fastest way to go was to learn ruby on rails. I followed a tutorial i found online, and literally pushed myself through it. There were times when there where things i didnt understand, and when it was really bad, but i pushed myself through it and i finished the tutorial.
Just finishing the tutorial and learning something new helped me alot. I had already quit smoking and was feeling way better, but after a while i started feeling bad again since i wasnt doing anything after i had finished learning, so i started working on a personal project, creating it from scratch, and just working on it day and night. I worked 14 hours a day, never really leaving my room ( this was during summer vacation ) for a month.
There were many things i didnt understand, but i never gave up and always searched for the solution and read about it until i understood it better. Looking back, there were things i knew could have been done in a better way, but as a first project, im proud of myself, not because it rocks, but because i did not give up.
In the process of starting a new life, i was really lonely. I cut all ties with everyone i knew, since they were all toxic, all i had in my life was ruby on rails and my web application. I wanted to launch it but couldn't due to personal reasons.
Not being able to launch and see something live, something that you worked so hard on, that you put so much effort into, that was devastating to me. I felt as if all my efforts had gone to waste.
And here is what i love most about programming, NOTHING EVER GOES TO WASTE. All that effort you spent on something ? All these all nighters you pulled ? All that frustration from that bug ? It will pay off later. It always does somehow. You get more knowledge and become a better programmer, and sometimes it even gives way to new opportunities and chances you never even expected.
I included my web application in my resume and it helped land me a job as a junior developer in a really nice company. A job that i wouldn't even have dreamed of several months earlier.
Programming and creating something new and learning something new everyday, creating something that people use, that someone else will benefit from and be grateful for, i think we should never take that for granted !
Tl;dr : learning how to code and web development saved my life9 -
"There are different types of crack"
- My IT professor addressing software piracy and drugs at the same time2 -
We are pioneers.
We build software, an extremely complex concept that didn't exist just 70 years ago.
We learned to harness its complexity and bend it at our will. Just stop for a minute and think about what happens when you load a URL in your web browser. The whole process.
In all human history, nobody has ever been the protagonist in something so complex as software. Yet we know that all of this wouldn't exist without a community of developers, sharing code and knowledge over the same system that they have created.
_We are dwarves perched on the shoulders of our fellows_
That's why even if nobody understands our work, I still think this is the most beautiful job in the world.12 -
Dad's are the best:
My dad is a very hard working man, and he still sometimes has time to check what im doing, for example he got me my first PC when Mom didn't want one for me.
The reason mom didint want a PC for me was I'd be on it for hours and hours a day, but dad still got it for me and if he wouldn't had: I probably wouldnt be getting a stipend of being "good in it" (or something like that) and teaching other students about IT / Robotics etc for a hobby.
Thanks dad i love you.6 -
Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with
Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent6 -
friend: so how are we gonna do this project together? download, edit then upload to google drive again. thats the fastest way.
me: how about git?
friend: what?
me: ill just create a repository and create branches before we merge it with master. no need to go through that process of downloading and uploading multiple times
friend: not sure... what... that.. is.....
me: oh we have a looooong way to go, ill guess ill have to teach u git right from the beginning12 -
Builds a site around a CMS, so non devs can update content
Gets asked to make simple changes that can be made using said CMS
🤦♂️3 -
In IT-Class:
Random: Ey watcha doin?
Me: Programming. What else?
Random: Oh, you're such a nerd...
Me: Programming is fun! I really like it.
Random: Please don't say this is your hobby...
Me: It is.
Random: Bruuh... *goes away*
Why the fuck are you here, if you're not interested in programming???
I don't understand such people.13 -
The devRant community:
@dfox: Our lord and savior, a rockstar who gets his comments ++'d just for being dfox
@trogus: The designer who lives in the shadow of dfox, but is still beloved
@tisaconundrum: Has 1 ++ for every time someone has tried, and failed, to pronounce his username in their head. (It's a lot)
@letmecode: The most consistently angry rants
@calmyourtities: I see him a lot
@me: I get mentioned every time the google assistant makes the "algo-rhythm" joke
@linux, @linuxxx, and @linuxforfun are linux users.
Continue in the comments!60 -
"Please add a feature to check the user's internet connection before the application starts."
-- THIS IS A GOD DAMN WEB APPLICATION, YOU DUMB MORONS! Maybe I should add a feature next that checks for the user's computer being turned on or what? How about making sure the application isn't run when the power is out?!
Jesus fuck.14 -
Friend: you're good with computers right?
Me: sure..
Friend: great so i signed up for this site that likes posts and i think they hacked my account
Me: ok... and?
Friend: well since you're good with computers do you think you could hack my account back?
Me: goodbye
People suck4 -
This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4 -
Other people when they read SO:
________________
( Significant other )
————————— o
º
º
Me when I read SO:
_______________
( Stack overflow )
———————— o
º
º9 -
Her: What are you doing over there?
Me: I'm working on cryptographic hash functions
Her: is that really homework?
Me: yes, come look with your two eyes.
Her: ...
Me: crazy stuff, no?
Her: I imagine computer science is really just a lot of boxes and arrows.
Me: *flashback to UML, ERD diagrams, and logic diagrams*
Me: you are not wrong.
8 -
When you're making a GitHub students account:
"We'll email you in a few weeks"
5 seconds later, you'll recieve an email:
"Hey <username>, we have some awesome news
We've upgraded you to a plan with unlimited free private repositories, which will be free for the next two years."
GitHub, I don't think you know what weeks are, lmao12 -
!rant
Jesus, this took so much work...
My university has started Swift lectures but my god their Mac minis are really crappy so I decided I would install Mac on my PC.
How can an operating system take so much fucking work to even boot!
16 -
#JustMenThings.
!dev
I just noticed that when you do The Nod™ to other men, you nod up if you know the person and you nod down if they are strangers.9 -
I find coding is the best way to alleviate boredom on a plane.
Not because I enjoy coding that much, but because there are two types of people:
1) Those who know what programming is and who will ALWAYS ask about it interested. (Conversation starter)
2) Those who don't know what it is and just assume you're hacking the plane!4 -
In the darkest of days, I discovered how to remote login to my computer at work through the company vpn. I then proceeded to work overtime at night in secret for a week or so, writing documentation and refactoring code.
I finally woke the fuck up and realized that I shouldn't be obsessing over proprietary codebases that do not belong to me, and I should put this misguided energy into my own projects.
So yeah, as a bad dev habit I'm working on fixing, this fits the bill.4 -
I get serious anxiety when someone is doing something on a computer and I know that the way they are doing it is the slowest way possible.8
-
Been a while since my last real proper rant.
Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.
We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.
We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.
Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.
Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.
Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.
DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.
As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.
Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.
DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.8 -
Current project has a ridiculously high amount of formal requirements
Two of them literally are
• the system shall have an “off” state
• the system shall be in the “off” state if no power is supplied
Boy do I have just the solution for you!
24 -
!rant
There are some extremely competent, blind developers where I work. They have a tool that read screen elements out loud to them.
At first it was chocking to see they work with the screen off. It makes total sense though, however this thought never crossed my mind before. Their headphones serve as screen to them, which is pretty cool.10 -
Wtf y'all see shitposting and then you decide to continuously upvote it.
Look retards. Part of being a Computer Scientist, or whatever shit branch you are part in this vast field...is detecting patterns....if you see some dickwad shitposting the same shit over and over or using fucking retarded ass themes, or some jase shit then downvote the shit out of it.
Fuck me.
Someone can make his theme to be just posting ascii penises and you retards would upvote that shit to oblivion.
Stupid ass community.
"THeN lEave" <--- i was prob here before you dickhead....go suck on cock somewhere else.
Damn y'all are fucking idiotic...this what happens when we make retards believe they can be engineers55 -
-Friend of mine telling me this nugget-
At my previous job, we were porting a UNIX system to Windows NT using Microsoft VC++. A colleague of mine, that was in the process of porting his portion of the code, came to me, looking really upset.
Colleague: "Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!"1 -
Holy shit. I'm sitting in my CS class and I just heard someone complaining about the stupid responses they get when they tell people they're a CS major.
I heard a new one that is honestly the most stupid fucking thing ever. She told someone she's a CS major and they replied "Oh so are you taking a lot of chemistry classes or something?"4 -
Story Time:
When I first started working where I currently am, the manager at the time decided to send us off to a conference about one of the products our institution was purchasing at the time. She also thought that it would be a good way for me, the new guy, to bond with the rest of the staff.
During the presentations we found out that the people surrounding us were not exactly developers because of a couple of things:
1. Some examples were done with php and javascript for adding functionality to said product. The product gave you the opportunity to script on top of it (think of some sort of CMS, but it does not use PHP as its backend language) EVERYONE from the "class" in this particular workshop said they were developers. But at the sight of php in a group of 80 people or so, only about 7 recognized it, including myself and my team.
2. When they showed an example with Javascript, in particular jquery, one of the dudes in the workshop said (with extreme senior level confidence might I add) "yeah I never liked Javascript because you really can't connect it to any database in a website" <--- my face went 0.o and one of the actual developers doing the presentation did a Jim from the Office and looked at some out of screen camera.
3. During a conf talk, one PHD dude showed an example in the template language the CMS used (an obscure Java based template language)in which he was proudly calling out a technique he used to include one snippet of code into another one.....at that time, one of my coworkers squinted his eyes in disbelief, got close to me and said "is this man telling everyone in here that he discovered how to include a file? like, as a new thing?" me: "lol yes", him: "this is a waste of time, do the docs for this thing show how to do it or is he doing some sort of strange maneuver for something the platform does not support?" me: "let me check....nope, it is included, for some reason he made a function that takes the...name of the file he wants to include and passes it over to that call inside of the body....which as per the docs it is the include function...." him: ".....fuck, what a waste of time and money, fuck it lets spend a couple of more minutes here and then go get a drink or something"
That last part was my favorite really, the man speaking was not just any phd holder, but a comp sci phd holder. To this day my dude would walk into my office and say shit like "I DISCOVERED HOW TO INCLUDE A FILE WITH PHP!"16 -
Devs are my closest friends and I have learned so much from you all.
They ask some of the best questions, their skill set is ever evolving, they have the real problem solving mindset, they are critical towards any and everything in a good way, and so much more.
There was this thread asking what a bad Product Manager is and this answer takes the cake.
The point highlighted in red is the ultimate truth.
Devs are most innovative people of our times. Big shout-out to you all and thank you for making me who I am today :)
16 -
Things I imagine when talking to the client
1. Setting his tie on fire
2. My boss kissing him on his forehead as he explains the go live strategy
3. Him bending over and picking up a quarter stuck to the ground and then getting run over by a grandma on her mobility scooter3 -
Client: “I’m sorry I just don’t understand the issue with the contract?
You said logging into Facebook was easy, what’s the issue with feature X (= complex graph API queries based on opinions and sentiment) and displaying images and videos, it’s the same thing!!!”
... no sir, it is NOT2 -
This is horrifying. Testing code seems to have been an afterthought that ended up ruining dozens of peoples’ lives.
“Bad software sent postal workers to jail, because no one wanted to admit it could be wrong”
https://theverge.com/2021/4/...11 -
Why is everybody too dumb to just walk... why are people like this:
if(isSomebodyWalkingBehind()) {
stop();
sleep(10000);
}4 -
!dev
Just went to the pet asylum to look for a cat. There was a shy black one (eh, maybe not a good first but Moar Blacker, Moar Better 😋) and a black and white one which was very open towards me.
Probably I'll get the latter, and build some food, water and litter dispenser systems for it with motors and my esp8266 boards 🙂
The lady who was volunteering there and showed me around had an interesting story though.
Apparently both of those aforementioned cats were wild cats (so they don't come from a proper household or anything). Except that black and white one which apparently came from some rather retarded people.. think average Facebook user.
According to her those previous owners came there with 2 cats including the black and white one as "extremely wild, we found them in the forest, put them in cages (because everyone carries cat cages in their car every day, right?) and brought them here". Nice excuse for average Facebook user level of retard I have to say 😜 but it's not very waterproof, you know?
But on average the people that they get there are even worse than that.. some get a great initial meeting with a cat, but then leave them there because they don't like the stripes on a paw or something stupid like that. As she put it: "you're not fitting pants in a clothing shop, are you?! 😑"
Had to try hard to not burst out in laughter from that description 😂
Point is, the average customers there are awful.. apparently she was very grateful to have a rather down-to-earth customer like me and my home supervisor (who helpfully drove me there 🙂) for once. So terrible clients.. they're everywhere!
It really taught me to be mindful of the hardships of people in any profession who deal with clients.18 -
Argh! What are HTTP status codes for if you're not using them in your API implementation?!
Fucking morons!15 -
Xpost from /r/sysadmin:
I occasionally see posts from people who seem like they want to spend every waking hour of every waking minute working on home lab stuff and studying for certs.
If you do this, you're missing out on life which you will regret later, but even if you don't care about missing out on life, it actually is hurting your career.
Being well rounded helps you interact with others at work in a number of ways. It makes you less one dimensional as "the computers guy" and it also gives you topics to discuss with people. If you know how to cook, or brew beer, or bake bread you end up using a lot of your technical and troubleshooting skills. Biking long distancing and learning how to fix your bike helps with your troubleshooting skills too. You learn to look at things from other angles.
Reading novels or writing poetry or making art work also helps because it exercises your brain. Woodworking or metal working involve a lot of skills that'd help your IT career including project planning and measuring and budgeting for each project. Working on cars or motorcycles would be similar. You just have to do SOMETHING.
I have a member of my team who literally has nothing going on in his life other than studying for certs. No friends, no hobbies, and he basically eats nothing but McDonalds and frozen dinners because even making a meal takes time away from his studying. He thinks means he's dedicated and will experience great career success.
But instead he has nothing to talk to anyone about, and when I say nothing, I mean literally nothing. It's borderline terrifying. Even if he was into comic books and video games it might help, which might help him relate to SOME of the IT staff even if the rest of the people at the company know nothing about it. But he doesn't even have that.
This isn't a solitary field anymore. Even if you truly are "the best" you still have to interact with other people and stay mentally stable enough to not burn out. Even if you know more than everyone else (or think you do) you have to try to broaden your horizons.10 -
Had the first DDOS battle in my life lads, fuck me that was hard. I somehow managed to block these assholes, and some piece of shit was extorting money out of our business by messaging us in telegram. What a piece of shit.9
-
Browsing job postings, and some of these requirements are just crazy, and/or wtf. Here's an example:
Front End developer wanted, junior to mid-level. An ideal candidate will be an expert in PHP, C#, and Java. Minimum experience of 10 years. Estimated compensation 30,000 per year.
Entry level full stack developer. Must be an expert in SQL. 5 years experience, BS in computer science required.
Web Developer intern - must have 3 years of experience. Must be an expert in x, y, z. This position is unpaid.
Sheeit.8 -
Tl;Dr - It started as an escape, carried on as fun, then as a way to be lazy, and finally as a way of life. Coding has defined and shaped my entire life from the age of nine.
When I was nine I was playing a game on my ZX spectrum and accidentally knocked the keyboard as I reached over to adjust my TV. Incredibly parts of it actually made a little sense to me and got my curiosity. I spent hours reading through that code, afraid to turn the Spectrum off in case I couldn't get back to it. Weeks later I got hold of a book of example code to copy out to do various things like making patterns on the screen. I was amazed by it. You told it what to do, and it did it! (don't you miss the days when coding worked like that?) I was bitten by the coding bug (excuse the pun) and I'd got it bad! I spent many late nights on that thing, escaping from a difficult home life. People (especially adults) were confusing, and in my experience unpredictable. When you did things wrong they shouted at you and threatened to take you away, or ignored you completely. Code never did that. If you did something wrong, it quietly let you know and often told you exactly what was wrong. It wasn't because of shifting expectations or a change of mood or anything like that. It was just clean logic, simple cause and effect.
I get my first computer a year later: an IBM XT that had been discarded by a company and was fitted with a key on the side to turn it on. With the impressive noise it made it really was like starting an engine. Whole most kids would have played with the games, I spent my time playing with batch scripts and writing very simple text adventures. And discovering what "format c:" does. With some abuse and threatened violence I managed to get windows running on it. Windows 2.1 I think it was.
At 12 I got a Gateway 75 running Windows 95. Over the next few years I do covered many amazing games: ROTT, Doom, Hexen, and so on. Aside from the games themselves, I was fascinated by the way computers could be linked together to play together (this was still early days for the Web and computers networked in a home was very unusual). I also got into making levels for Doom, Heretic, and years later Duke Nukem 3D (pretty sure it was heretic; all I remember is the nightmare of trying to write levels entirely by code!). I enjoyed re-scripting some of the weapons and monsters to behave differently. About this time I also got into HTML (I still call this coding, but not programming), C, and java. I had trouble with C as none of the examples and tutorial code seemed to run properly under a Windows environment. Similar for my very short stint with assembly. At some point I got a TI-83 programmable calculator and started rewriting my old batch script games on it, including one "Gangster Lord" game that had the same mechanics as a lot of the Facebook games that appeared later (do things, earn money, spend money to buy stuff to do more things). Worried about upcoming exams, I also made a number of maths helper apps, including a quadratic equation solver that gave the steps, and a fake calculator reset to smuggle them into my exams. When the day came I panicked and did a proper reset for fear of being caught.
At 18 I was convinced I was going to be a professional coder as I started a degree in Computer Science. Three months later I dropped out after a bunch of lectures teaching what input and output devices were and realising we were only going to be taught Java and no C++. I started a job on the call centre of a big company, but was frustrated with many of the boring and repetitive tasks we had to do. So I put my previous knowledge to use, and quickly learned VBA to automate tasks. It wasn't long before I ended up promoted to Business Analyst where I worked on a great team building small systems in Office, SAS, and a few other tools.
I decided to retrain in psychology, so left the job I was in and started another degree. During my work and placements my skills came in use a number of times to simplify and automate tasks. I finished my degree, then took a job as a teaching assistant while I worked out what I wanted to do next and how to pay for it. Three years later I've ended up IT technican at the school, responsible for the website, teaching a number of Computing lessons each week, and unofficial co-coordinator for Computing as a subject. I also run a team of ten year old Digital Leaders who I am training in online safety and as technical experts; I am hoping to inspire them to a future in coding. In September I'll be starting teacher training with a view to becoming a Computing specialist teacher. Oh, and I'm currently doing a course in Android Development in my free time.
And this all started with an accidental knock on the keyboard of a ZX Spectrum.7 -
BOSS/SUPPORT/CLIENT: IT’S URGENT!!!! IT’S URGENT!!!!
Me: if it was really urgent why are you asking me about it at 5’oclock on FRIDAY2 -
So I signed up for my first hackathon two weeks ago, which is today.
AND YESTERDAY I GET AN EMAIL WHERE THEY'RE LIKE "sorry but there are too many people who signed up so we couldn't sign you up"
WTF
ITS NOT LIKE YOU KNEW THIS TWO WEEKS AGO WHEN THE INSCRIPTION FORM WAS STILL ONLINE (it still is...)
OR MAYBE UPDATE THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION TO TELL THE PEOPLE WHO SIGN UP AND ARE REALLY EXCITED RIGHT AWAY YOU'RE FULL!!!!
FUUCK12 -
My dev mates are all gone for Xmas
Before one of them left we hugged.
He said:gonna get laid tonight, I'm going to be all out of orgasms
Me:YOU CANT SAY THAT WHILST YOUR HUGGING ANOTHER MAN!
Wtf is wrong with my friends
They like to freak me out by saying awkward things in uncomfortable situations
PS I don't hug people like ever I was trying to be nice 😕14 -
It is a sincere request to all the people who are asking for a backup of their files and documents, to please stop pestering us regarding the same.
We can't possibly collect your data, and even if there's a way, it would be nearly impossible for us to find your data from billions and billions of files and directories.
Citizens are requested to please understand our problems.
Have a nice day :)4 -
So yesterday i went to this live theatre drama and i had an extra ticket. I asked this random guy the way to that theatre and apparently he was looking to get ticket for the same show. I offered him my other ticket for free.
We introduce ourself to each other and i came to know he worked as salesman or something. As i talked about my job, I told about me leaving job in hopes of self employment.
*Cue the sales pitch*
He started talking about some scheme kind of thing to have financial freedom. He talks about how we can get products at upto 15% discount and we have to sell them to others.
I was skeptical about it and he talked they have website as if that will pimpress me or something.
I visited the site and i was not surprised at all. It was nothing but an halfassed e-commerce store. I knew it was halfassed and probably setup by the "CEO" himself.
And the products in that site are nothing but stupid cosmetic products!
And to top it off, you have to spend around $200 to join this scheme. This poor guy doesn't realise he is just being a talking puppet to that halfassed e-commerce business BY PAYING THEM!!!
He even said one of his friend in London took leave to join this scheme or whatever... What a stupid friend.
Anyway, i just regret giving away a ticket to some stupid people like him. I'd have been much more happier if i had just thrown the extra ticket in the trash.
People suck!5 -
The cringe you feel when that one colleague repeatedly says "IC²" while asking a question.
I²C, damnit! You are reading intro documents for two fucking weeks now, you should at least know the right name by now, man.11 -
Here's a real tip for people new to the industry.
It's one of those things that's been said over and over again but very few can really seem to employ. I suggest you learn it /well/.
You are not your code. Criticisms of your code, ideas, or your thought processes, is not a criticism of YOU. You absolutely cannot take criticisms of your work personally.
We are engineers. We strive to seek the best solution at all times.
If someone has found a problem with your code or with an idea or whatnot, it is coming from a place of "this is not the best solution", NOT "you're an idiot".
It's coming from a place of "I'm closing this PR because it is not a change I feel suits this project", NOT "I'm closing this PR because it's coming from a woman".
It's coming from a place of "This feature request is ridiculous/this bug is not actually a bug", NOT "you're a fucking idiot, fuck you".
It's coming from a place of "I've already had to address this in a number of issues before and it's eaten up a considerable amount of my time already", NOT "I don't even know you and this I don't have time for a nobody".
You do not get to be bitchy to maintainers because they denied your request. It's not a reflection of you at all. But if you're arguing with someone who has maintained a piece of code for almost a decade, and they're telling you something authoritative, believe them. They're probably smarter than you on this subject. They've probably thought about it more. They've probably seen their code used in many different places. They have more experience than you with that codebase in almost all cases.
Believe me, if we cared about who was behind all of the issues, pull requests, etc. we get, we'd get NOTHING done. Stop taking shit personally. It's a skill, not a defense mechanism. Nobody has the time to sugar coat every little thing.
Let's normalize directness and stop wasting time during technical discussions into opportunities for ego-stroking and circle-jerking and back-patting.8 -
Updated a website for an older client today. Realized I originally wrote their website in 2002.
That web site is a fucking non-responsive piece of shit... but it is still running normally after 18 years.
Just HTML/CSS and some light JS/PHP for form processing. It's not fancy but it still performs and works perfect on Desktop and OK on mobile. Mobile devices which DID NOT EXIST when I wrote it.
Let this be a lesson to the entire new class of developers who seems to think you need some framework to develop. You don't. And I GUARANTEE if that site used any framework that framework would have been retired or updated to un-useability 10 years ago.
Meanwhile my LAMP ass "web native" shit spaghetti with ZERO DEPENDENCIES is still just chugging the fuck along.5 -
My tech lead keeps assigning me incident tickets in the company's worst legacy app because I solved some bug in it a while ago. I'm the only one who gets assigned these.
If this keeps going, I know for sure that I will be regarded as the designated developer for this application. Then I will be truly fucked.5 -
> be me
> alright time to seek a new job
> open glassdoor
> see a good front end job
> apply.exe
> redirects to another page to apply
> iamnotevenmad
> try to fill the form
> fill first name
> fill last name
> first name disappears
> fml
> check console
> someone forgot to preventDefault the event
> fuck it, i'll post a rant on devrant3 -
I really don't understand how some it recruiters ever got their job... Brainless fucking scaredycat fuckwats!!!
Just finished a mission and i put myself back on the market, been flooded by calls and emails since monday, so far so good.
But all of them wanting you to 'come over the office for a chat', fuck no. 'I will come once a real opportunity gets presented, i propose to do video conference call as to not waste time and transportation'. But noooo... It's like they never heard of that thing being possible before. I propose them to use meet.jit.si (really cool and free to use videoconference software, no software needs to be installed)... 'Yeah sorry but your link doesnt work', 'how come? You just need to go to the url and grant cam and mic permissions for the session'... 'No it asks me to install software (not true) and i simply cant now ... Can you tell me who you are and what you do and what your field of expertise is?'
For fucks sake you got my cv right in front of you you fucking blind maggotpuss! Learn to fucking read!
Tomorrow is another, hopefully better day...
Glad to take that of the chest.2 -
Pet-peeve: fellow devs who think scoffing/dismissing/not-my-probleming before actually understanding the issue is a sign of intelligence; newsflash: you are being lazy, disagreeable and unprofessional.1
-
Am I doing something wrong here? Or those imports are so damn annoying?
Any solution for reducing those imports? especially that I am using them all and not have non-used imports
Just like Java, too much imports -.-
7 -
Here nerds. Here are some Dev Books for free!
Http://Goalkicker.com - Has like 50 categories of developing Languages and tools notes. iOS pdf has 800 pages. Java has 900!
And if youre living under a rock, here's a github repo of 1,044 PDFS (last I checked) - https://github.com/tpn/pdfs
Go learn something!4 -
I just saw the Aladdin movie. It was a beautiful and fun movie. I loved it.
Will Smith was perfect as the genie. I don't understand why everyone created a big fuss when they saw Will Smith as the genie in the trailer.
People are dumb.12 -
Wow I can't believe how well this infographic nailed it.... I feel a bit naked like it read my soul...😮
Src: http://carlcheo.com/what-is-program...
5 -
* Ctrl+Shift+F to find all "assert" in solution...
Matching lines: 0 Matching files: 0 Total files searched: 1504
* Bang head on table
* Flip Table
* Start writing unit tests -
It's the 21st century. We have this amazing thing called the Internet. It's literally at our finger tips. Any information you want can be found with the tap of a phone screen, and the information will be presented to you in less than a second.
Why is this concept so fucking hard for people to comprehend? Instead of asking me "How do I write a resignation letter?", search the damn internet for resignation letter guides. Like Jesus Christ, it's not that hard of a concept to comprehend. Especially when you've basically grown up with the internet in our lives. -
Put stickers on your notebooks!
I was at an event where different companies present themselves to the students at my school. There was one company that I wasn't interested in at first but then saw a git and a npm sticker on one of the notebooks standing at their booth.
Long story short: I talked to them and now got an internship there.3 -
That moment when you are just testing a web framework, you type some random text, open in browser, and Google asks whether it could translate it. Yea sure... go ahead! 😛
5 -
We've all had shitty jobs at one point or another, maybe some of us already had software engineering experience while having to work in a different field for a variety of reasons.
Well check this shit.
At one point(during my second year of school) for various reasons I had to work in retail. For those that know, retail can be a soul crushing experience...the trick is not letting management to convince you that it is an actual good job, it is not, and I have respect and sympathy for everyone currently working in it. The mind numbing retarded customers that we get are absolutely fantastic in every sense of the word.
My position in retail was as a phone salesman, for MetroPCS (which for all of y'all european ninjas is one of the low end phone carriers here in the U.S) and the people that we get as customers where I live are normally very poor which apparently in Mexican culture stands for annoyingly ignorant (I am Mexican myself, so I can really vouch for this shit)
One day a customer came in telling me that there was an app that he was using that kept giving him troubles, it was a map application for truck drivers. Now, obviously, this had nothing to do with my line of work(phone salesman) and as such I normally tried to explain that and let them be, but I imagined that it was a settings issue so I reluctantly agreed to help him. I explained to him that the app was no longer maintained and that the reason for it was probably that the developer abandoned it and that he would just have to look into the app, upon closer inspection the app itself was nothing more than a wrapper over google maps with trucker icons and a "trucker" interface, he was using the app as a GPS navigator and he could as well just have been using google maps.
The conversation was like this:
Me: Well this app is no longer supported, it will probably be taken off the google store soon, you can look for something similar or just change to Google maps
Retard: What? no! I came here in order for you to fix it, Metro needs to fix their own apps!
Me (in complete disbelief): We have no control over third party apps, and even for the ones that we provide the store has no control over them. But this app is not ours and so we can't really do anything about it.
Retard: Well WTF should I do? I have been having many issues with youtube and spotify, shouldn't Metro fix their Google store?
Me: Those apps are not ours.....wait, you seem to believe that we own youtube and spotify, those are not ours
Retard: How the fuck they are not yours! its your phone isn't it?
Me: Eh no.....Metro does not(at this point I was sort of smiling because I wanted to laugh) own youtube or spotify or the play store or even this phone, metro does not own Android or Samsung(his phone was a samsung core prime)
Retard: Well You need to fix this
Me: No I do not and I can not, the developer for this app abandoned it and has nothing to do with us
Retard: Well call the developer and tell him to fix it
At this point I was on a very bad mode since this dude was being obnoxiously rude from the beginning and it annoyed me how he was asking for dumb shit.
Me: Did you pay for this app?
Retard: No
Me: So you expect that some developer out there will just go about and get working for something that you did not pay for?
Why don't you just use Google maps as your GPS?
Retard: Don't be stupid, Google has no maps
At this point I show him the screen where there is a lil app that said maps, pressed it and voila! map comes to life
Retard: Well....I did not know
Me: Yeah....but I am the stupid one right?
** throws phone for him to catch
Me: Have a good one bud.
And my manager was right next to me, he was just trying to control his laughter the whole time. I really despised working in there and was glad when I left. Retail man.......such a horrible fucking world.7 -
I was depressed doing a course I hated.
3 years in and I switched to Computer Science.
Best decision ever!3 -
I don't get why anyone would choose to do sys admin work I have been doing it the past week I fucking hate it!
Let me program 😠6 -
!rant
Today, my true developer saga begins. First job as an embedded developer and I am prepared with my flaming dark themed rubber duck debugger. What could go wrong? :D
3 -
Me: deployment exploded, the database has to be restored.
C: yeah, the latest backup we have is is from Q1 2016
Me: wat? We have almost weekly changes of the database layout, let alone the content.
C: yeah, you have to execute somewhat 60 sql files ... Have fun
* Sitting in a corner and staring apathecally at the wall*5 -
Recently I've been put in charge of checking if all backups work and the servers aren't getting full.
The first thing I did was write a script that does it for me.
Don't work hard, work smart 😎5 -
First Rant here.
So I was working on some integration test issues when I found this by accident made by a professional level SW engineer:
@Test
public void testMethod() throws ApiException {
Response res = null;
try {
res = serviceToTest.callMethod();
} catch(Exception e) {
assertNull(res);
}
}
Was wondering why tests were being green after some code changes I've made cuz tests could have not been green afterwards.
Together with a senior (I'm also professional only) I've tried to explain him for a good 1-2hrs why this code is useless and he still did it. Good thing there are no errors in the real implementation from him after fixing the tests as it's code freeze here and we are having go live in a few days 🙃
Also luckily he isn't working on our code anymore and has only been doing so for a few weeks.
Wasted a day with it and gonna check all of his code now before I run in the next surprise.1 -
She is my "dummy test" for me to make sure that I explain things clearly enough so that anyone could understand. So far, I taught her how Docker, Ansible and CSS work 👌
-
The role of a Product Manager is just a decade or two old. Most organisations, including FAANG, are still figuring out what are the primary responsibilities of a PM.
A vast majority I know, including my dumbass, is struggling to keep things floating while in the role. Learning on the job is one of the only and most effective way to do so.
No wonder, imposter syndrome is so common in this group.
One of the main tasks is to make decisions. Important and impactful ones. The role came into existence to take the decision making load off our engineering friends while building any product.
This shit comes with huge responsibility.
BUT, not everyone understand this. In India, being a developer was a cool thing until 2018 and so everyone rushed into the role. Now somehow everyone started thinking being a Product Manager is cool because all you have to do is sit and shoot orders and things will happen magically.
I get reached out by so many folks every month asking for guidance and when I ask them what a PM does or why they want to be a PM, the narrative is more or less same.
Very few actually understand how taxing the role is or the challenges that we face while performing the job.
WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE SO IGNORANT AND DUMB?
And in another news, my first week at new job was super amazing. Loved every bit of it. People are smart, processes are neat, things are structured, and lots and lots to learn for me.
How are you guys doing? Been a while that we spoke.
Official declaration: I am the dumbest person I know.10 -
Hi, here's how things are working now:
– Me and MerryBandOfDumbasses1 are doing project 1.
– Me and MerryBandOfDumbasses2 are doing project 2.
– Me has project 3 for work with this adorable boss I'd hate to disappoint. (Anyone watching Brooklyn99? He's my Captain Holt)
– Me has to deal with thesis.
– Me is having trouble keeping her head above the water. (emotionally speaking)
Conclusion: Me is fucked.
The end.
*grins for the camera* 😀5 -
Tomorrow I will be on a long train trip again so here goes!
My last train project is http://jsrant.com and people seem to enjoy it. Every time I am mentioned in a rant related to it people also mention the idea of a similar application but for in the terminal. So I intend to build that tomorrow.
To build the best thing for you I want to ask you some questions:
- What operating system are you running?
- Why (or how) would you like to use a devrant terminal reader?
- Why would you NOT want to use a devrant terminal reader?
- Would your use-case required obfuscated output? (Hiding it from someone)
- If so, what formats do you use on a daily basis or are you most comfortable with?
- Anything else you would like to mention or for me to consider?
I will be developing the larger part of this tomorrow, but the sources will be made available to the public.9 -
Any board artists want to make a crest for me?
Looking for comething with sharp black lines, that's tattoo worthy.
:3
Below is the Main symbol, as well as three words that I would like included.
Thanks in advance~
3 -
There are two types of eXtensible people
<UserInfo type="address">101 Terrace Road</UserInfo>
And
<Address>101 Terrace Road</Address>2 -
I watched nvidia gtc keynote today. Most of stuff was about how amazing their gpu is and how much processing power we need, oh really?
Self driving cars are most idiotic way to implement rail way system on top of complicated road traffic system from last century.
The real problem is and always was problem of last mile. We don’t do shit about it, just trying to reinvent same stuff by complicating things.
I started wondering if it would be cheaper to just put small electric golf cars on railroads next to highway with automatic parkings next to cities. We could then slowly replace highways with railroads and even stack rails on top of each other.
You just drive to parking with golf cart and it hops you to railroad with auto chargers. Traffic is predictable so you know exact hour when you hop out and can drive last mile to target destination. So fucking simple yet we need fucking computer and tons of scientists to solve problems we created by bringing idiotic movies ideas to life.
Well most of stuff we try to automate is done so shitty way that it’s in fact complicate.
Fortunately it’s not my problem.18 -
In my software development class today, the teacher asked us what a double equal sign means, and I swear to god, a student said “it double equals that value” 🤦♂️4
-
Client: We are in a tight budget, but you'll get a lot of exposure
Me: NO! I have enough exposure on my camera.. 😉😜1 -
Today we updated PHP on our server. From 7.0 to 7.2
Promptly the whole server went down and none of the pages on it worked anymore. I guess we sort of forgot that there are other pages on the serve than the one we were working on...
Now everything is operational again.3 -
Contact wants to discuss a list of projects with me next week.
What's the betting that these are unfunded ideas that need code?
I should just check by email, but it's been a while since anyone walked this path with me, so I'm up for some fun.
I see myself taking an advisory role in these projects for equity.
"First thing you need to do is obtain funding for them all. Then get back to me for my insights on next stage. Not sure how to get funding, but I'm not the the 'creative' side of the team."
Ideas aren't worth shit. I have a bunch every day and they are as worthless as yours.
Ideas without execution are like owning a book without reading it.3 -
god, I fucking hate Users. especially the ones who think that I am confused by *their* terminology for system processes, and feel the need to correct and clarify for me on email chains that needlessly cc 20 other people.
I designed the system you use every day before you were even hired; I assure you, I am not confused, and I know exactly what I'm talking about. stupid twats.3 -
ComputerToucher: *opens Jira ticket* Dev team needs tokens for the APM for a new app with multiple tenants. Ezpz. Hey, developer. Do you want one golden token for all of your app tenants or would you like us to generate one token for each?
Developer: Let’s have a meeting to discuss it.
CT: It’s…an exceedingly simple question. One token or 4? Which does your app support?
Dev: Yeah I think we should discuss with this with the platform team, can you set up the call?
CT: (Internally) I am the platform team? Do you not know how your applica-never mind I’ll just ask the PM directly.
CT (in chat): I’ll ask PM to schedule the call.
*Goes back to Jira ticket, changes priority to 4, removes ticket from sprint entirely, picks something else to work on*6 -
Just uninstalled Bubble Witch Saga 3 from my Windows 10 *Pro* system.
Silently installed for me, even through I've never installed a Windows game in my life.
Changed the reg setting, so we'll see if that is an end to it.
I've never been a Windows hater, but they are really testing my patience with this shit. A *paid* business OS that downloads crappy games.
Are they intent on turning Windows into a Shovelware platform? This is the sort of thing which would cause me to leave the platform for good.15 -
Ok, I am actually losing my mind at this bad excuse of a work place.
This guy, that I had only briefly talked to in email twice before, never met or even had a video chat, opened a ticket like this:
"Hi Alt-Tab,
I hope you enjoyed the end of last week, the weekend, and the beginning of this one! All well here. I ventured to [random place in London] for the first time on Saturday – liked it."
Now. I already can't fucking stand when colleagues that are not at all close start emails with "how was your weekend?" shit because then I have to waste another minute addressing that. But this guy took it to such another level that I literally had to read his email 3 times to believe what I just witnessed.
And of course he then went on and described the issue as folows:
"Just a quick note about the issue I have - could you let me know why the calendars are not syncing?"
Maybe if you fucking spent half of the energy of you writing a polite bullshit "hello" and instead used that to actually describe the issue I could help.
Fuck off.22 -
People are talking about Windows VS Linux about security, meanwhile: https://wikileaks.org/vault7/...5
-
Me : I like making games,I think I will take that as my career.
Dad : *like every generic Indian Parent* Games are waste of time, use your skills to make something productive !3 -
This is why you should make a knowledge database and never trust the internet to keep things
Two quality rants with a lot of useful information I favorited are missing, surely because their authors removed their account
Lesson learned. One more resolution to apply for 202115 -
I often wonder if our clients seriously think we have an all-knowing crystal ball of wisdom when they send tickets like "Cannot send emails - please check" while they have like 10 servers and email delivery is a complex matter on its own already.
If I didn't care what our clients think, I'd reply with equally informative email of "Maybe, who knows"...1 -
Well, I have a friend working on a major bank in my city. Yesterday we went for a coffee when he told me that the wifi connection that the costumers can use is the same as the network they work in. Like, are you fucking me? Do they know what security means? Jesus Wallace, wake up!
And they have a fucking "web security guy" working there. Doing what? Installing ccleaner on pcs? This shit gets me mad. And that's why I don't trust banks.4 -
load average: 348.58, 293.64, 179.93
Um, wat?
1) What are you doing little server?!
2) How could you possibly find the time to tell me that?!2 -
*Dont you want to become a professional python dev?“ Take this course on udemy.
DONT YOU WANT TO SHUT UP AND SHOW ME AT LEAST ADS THAT ARENT PISSING ME OFF THAT MUCH? I learn where else because these tutorials are the biggest bs on the planet.3 -
I've had a client for 3 months now and they still haven't paid ($100 just for the site) and are surprised at the monthly cost (they wanted site hosting and maintenance which comes out to $75/month) and I want to fire them without burning bridges since the main person is a friend.15
-
Firebase is pure fucking assrape!
How can these spoiled cunts of Google "develop" such a stinking pile of rotten placenta?
No, one fucking Promise is not enough... you have to return Promises for every single smegma function!
I want to just blow up this ugly afterbirth!!
It seems that Google devs are just spoiled MacCunt Pro brats who copy-paste code around until something "kind of works".14 -
Yesterday I had a phone screening with a hiring manager and was expected to talk about more of my expertise and just my experience overall. With four years of experience, I thought I could tell her everything she needed to know.
However, this interview was just kind of... weird. Literally every question she asked was defintiions. It was as if I was doing a short answer quiz.
"What is object-oriented programming?"
"What is a hashmap versus a list?"
"What is class inheritance?"
Like... What the fuck. These are questions that give no insight into who I am or how I work. This is shit you see on a second-year midterm exam. What a waste of time.10 -
When you give your team and the client a month+ to test the app and get no feedback, then all of a sudden once it's live in the app store you get an email filled with bug reports....
Were you guys not testing it at all?!
😡🤦♂️2 -
I used to think I was the kind of programmer that was good with people. That somehow I was special because I could get on with colleagues and make clients happy.
But fuck people. It’s so easy to be nice, just don’t be not nice. Don’t say rude things and be surprised when I’ve had enough.
For some reason my latest colleagues think it’s too confrontational to talk to each other and instead give management anonymous feedback on who they don’t get on with. Which obviously gets fed back to everyone immediately.
I’m done putting on a smile. Elegant code speaks for itself. I’m getting a PA to talk to people from now on because fuck this.5 -
Introduction:
Privileged in this context means logged in and have a administrator-confirmed access.
Customer calls us: Why do I see prices in my shop? I should have been privileged first to see them. Looks to me that you did not make prices only get displayed when I am privileged.
Salesman: Sure we did this. May I asked whether you are logged in right now?
Customer: Of course. I am testing the process of placing an order with my test customer account.
*crickets*
Customer: I am so sorry for calling. You are right.2 -
*some* devs with their multiple monitors are like my 3 flatmates with their multiple shower products.
6 -
My matryoshka keeping me company, because of course when you are alone testing a last hour deployment. shit will happen
5 -
I started using duckduckgo about ten years ago and have evangelized it ever since, including on devrant, but I think I've just about had it with it. Let me explain.
I was more than happy to accept the less-than-google results for standard searches, because I could force the site to only show me results that matched an exact string if I put quotes around it, or force the results to include or exclude results with words with minus or plus characters before them.
But that's all gone now. Now, plus just means, "show me more results with this word," and minus means, "show me fewer results with this word." Wrapping a string in quotes doesn't mean you require anything exact anymore. The name of the game with DDG now is the same as Google: engagement. Narrowed results or fewer results means less chance of clickthroughs, and you can't sell ads that way.
For normal searches, I'm off duckduckgo. It makes me sad.
Let me clarify though that DDG's bang searches are still fully functional, and are still an absolutely indispensable part of my workflow. I use them well over a hundred times a day, every day. I updated my rofi script for web searches to use qwant, but still go to DDG if the search string begins with a bang.5 -
maybe Step 2 didn't make it.
maybe it decided to leave and disappear.
or maybe, it was destroyed by an underpaid, overworked dev who holds grudges against Step 2.
Wherever you are, I'd miss the step that I didn't have to take to make the plugin works.
-
Boss: Hey, we have a meeting in 10 minutes.. Get prepared for it.. (Though they told me about this 100 years ago)
Me: What!! How can I do that?
Boss: You are an engineer.. You must be used to with last minute preparations..
Me: 😕
========================== -
Management has been promising we'd leave .NET framework for 2 years now. Never fucking happens. A new ASP.NET project was just started last week and yup, OF COURSE, its .NET Framework 4.8.
I'd even be happy with one of the earlier .NET Core versions at this point for fucks sake. I have no clue why tech leads are so happy to create a brand new project on a deprecated framework version.
And yes, I have checked thoroughly. Our whole infrastructure works with .NET Core onward. People are just too lazy to learn new stuff.
Stuff like switching to .NET 6, actually doing unit testing, improving our CI/CD pipeline, refactoring problematic codebases, etc. -> all this stuff is the kind of things they promise me I can work on later whenever I'm so bogged down with work that I'm looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. All empty promises.
Ideally we should be on .NET 6 since its LTS and just stay on the LTS versions as the year goes on.8 -
!Rant
The Eve V is a Community Developed Windows Tablet which will be released in Ocotober this year.
The best specs you can get is i7 6th Gen, 16 GB Ram and 500 GB SSD for around 1400$.
He wants 32 GB RAM in such a slim and small Tablet. Also wants a 7th Gen Intel CPU and 1 TB SSD in it. He's ready to pay 1000 $ more for his special edition.
The Eve V is already finished with tooling and they are wating for the screens to arrive. They already have all the other parts.
Dude you're crazy and that specs just for VM's? What are you running? 10x WinShitBox?
He's insulting everyone on the forum with a different opinion and says, retooling will be such easy.
That guy is a real douchebag and doesn't know shit. If you would build in different parts like this, you would need to remodel the whole tablet. You can stick your 1000$ in your ass, retooling would cost more than 10'000$
If it's so easy you shithead, then do it yourself and dont say it's possible and say to other people they should do! 😂😂
2 -
The scrum master for the project I'm working on decided to help out with changing some code (I'll add he's got a master's in software engineering and very proud about it..aka..big ego). It took him two days...yes two days to write the attached code.
I reviewed his code and sent back a response (code took about 15 seconds to write) including the link to the logging documentation explaining what fields were and were not necessary. Not sure how will look in devrant ...
var data = new InformationalDataPoint
{
Properties =
{
["RMANumber"] = rma,
["InvoiceID"] = invoiceId
}
};
Logger.Log(data);
He's stopped talking to me. Our next scrum meeting with the product owner should be ...um...awkward.
-
Has anyone else noticed that the notifications screen's title is just "Notifs" even though it could've been "Notifications"?2
-
I'm supposed to be the introverted, non-people person! But the client meetings I'm in for my college senior project go off the rails into awkward mumbling unless I step in and take the tiniest bit of effort in driving a meeting.
Am I doomed folks to become a BA or other person dealing with clients all day, pls end me now2 -
1.
Accuracy 0.90 achieved so easily, makes me wonder if I've done something wrong. Lol.
2.
My neural net models are the only things in my life doing well. I think I chose the right career. Lol.
3.
Rerunning experiments is not fun. But getting better results is really... Ego stroking.26 -
The CEO of Harley Davidson once said his was the only company logo that people tattoo on their body.
Anyone sad enough to have a tech tattoo...and brave enough to admit it?13 -
For all the Java jokes I see here and people bashing the language, are there any Java devs here? If you are a Java dev, do you enjoy it?10
-
Despite the "blue screen" name, Windows fatal error screens sometimes can be also displayed with other background colours; in Windows 9x, the colour of the message could be even customised by the user.1
-
Sometime we forget who we really are.
We aren't dumb guys with no future and it's time to remember this to yourself.
We're losing time in our lives, let's just use it as we think is better to.4 -
I don't know how many of you here will understand/feel what I feel but here goes nothing
I'm the kind of person who's very calm and like sitting and talking to a friend over using a mobile phone or something. I mean, it's not like I don't use mobile phones at all but yeah.
At this point, I think my smartphone is just a waste of time. Whenever I'm bored or feel lazy, the first thing I do is unlock my phone and randomly see something online. Even though I have nothing important. I feel like it's almost cutting me off from the real world. Maybe in that time, instead of using the mobile for nothing, I could go talk to someone, go for a walk, exercise, think, etc. I even see group of friends sitting in a circle, but no one's talking. Only using their phones.
And let alone socializing, I think you miss a lot of "me" time as well (oh I like meditation and shit haha).
I'm thinking of switching to a non-smartphone. But still we are developers/engineers/designers, and for us to stay away from technology is not easy when we're the ones making it. I love what I do but at the same time I also want feel life.12 -
So today Mozilla updated Firefox just to include an incomplete downloads tab? Dafuq are they thinking 😒2
-
!rant
Sometimes I think about packing up my bags and just going into security consulting just to get away from the world of being an infrastructure anarchist for software companies that are overvalued "Export to Excel" generators.2 -
Whatsapp REALLY needs a feature to silence the notifications for messages that are image only!
I'm now stuck having to communicate with a group for work so I had to un-silence it's notifications but I get sent 100+ memes and videos a day by EVERYONE else.
As much as I love them if I have to stop coding to check my phone only to find a fucking meme one more time I think I'm gonna snap...3 -
I Fucking hate people!!!!!
Im not a nazi but i hate people.!
I hate every one! White， blqck， yellow， beige， purple and dont get me started on the orange ones!!!
I hate people woth physical disabilities， i hate people with mental disabilities， hell i hate people who hate disabilities.
I hate people.
I hate people who are isually good but only occasionnaly bad， i hate people who are bad， i also hate people who are nice bur dont know shit about coding.
I hate emos as well even if i sound like one.
I juse hate people and for that i hate myself....
Makes me want to listent to tayler swift no shit.16 -
Why React is soo complicated? Seriously why do we always need to use some stupid shit like this
const [state, setState] = useState();
what the fuck is this? Who designed it that way, why it should always look like shit for no reason? Why its API feels like spaghetti? When i am comparing other front-end frameworks they feel like heaven in their structure.
AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME HAVING A QUOTE ON A PARAGRAPH ELEMENT, WHY DO I HAVE TO USE FUCKING HTMLENTITES FROM 2000?
FUCK'ERE37 -
So, a spaghetti legacy code, written by some dude that obviously hates his job, needs update and we argue about spaces vs tabs....4
-
Deployment to production last night, and the whole thing is halted because the DBA didn't find it necessary to show up. 2 hours of calling everyone possible and nothing. Thanks DBA, for your prompt and timely handling of the deployment... 😑
-
So I did a code review for a colleagues pull request and I've noticed that he hasn't written the PHPDocs for a lot of the classes and functions. One minor thing I wrote is to add the author for the class.
About 2 mins after writing that comment he came over to tell me why should he write the author in the comments when people can just go look at the git commit logs. I was like WTF? I asked why would he do that, his answer was that if there's an issue, we can just use git blame to identify the author. To me that makes no sense as git blame isn't supposed to be used like that.
It's guys like these are the ones who don't document anything whether in an online document or even in code. And they just make work harder for the rest of us.2 -
God i fucking hate electron.js, why would you bundle an entire google chrome into your desktop app? WHY WOULD ANYONE BUILD ANYTHING ON THAT FRAMEWORK?12
-
Anyone ever had exams, where teacher tell you that if you study on said part of the course and you'll pass, then got completely blindsided on the actual exam... Oh the horror 😂6
-
!Rant
I bought a Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge from my cousin for $450. I then proceeded to root it and everything was fine for a week or so before my phone went into an infinite boot loop after an OTA update.
In the process of trying to fix it, I accidentally flashed a bootloader, unaware that Samsung has the bootloader locked. As a result, I had a completely bricked phone.
I mean legit bricked. No buttons with work and the screen remained shut and I couldn't flash anything over it again to try to repair it. I couldn't even put the phone into recovery mode. I now had the world's most expensive paperweight.
However, I managed to convince Samsung to repair it for me for free! I told them that the phone just stopped responding after an OTA update from them, which isn't so far from the truth.
I only ever had to flash things on the phone to begin with because of their update. Honestly, I wouldn't has had to deal with this problem, and neither would Samsung, if they just didn't lock the damn bootloader! Why are these companies taking away are independent control of our own devices?
Moral of the story: DON'T flash over a locked bootloader EVER or you will end up with a completely brick device, with no solution other than to open it up and replace the motherboard entirely.12 -
!rant
Just read an article about a blind sofftware developer, who is proficient in way more technologies then me, for example.
He can use certain screen reader and code edor combo to read out the text, and also something called refreshable braille display.
This is so insiprational and only goes to show that there is no excuse whatsoever for a person NOT to learn software developing...1 -
Our pm is awesome always keeps things on track, gives suggestions and stuff but she got assigned to a different department. Now we have no idea what to work on. Feeling lost.3
-
Seriously though. I know we're joking a lot but the truth is, as a front-end developer, I don't want to sew the branch I'm sitting on, because part of my job is to make pretty things with cute colors, but I think we shoud throw the whole worldwide web and start over without all this GUI shit. Text-based is the way.7
-
That I've never been able to attend a hackathon since they are ALL always on the weekend. I'm Jewish and can't use electronics on the Sabbath FFS6
-
Annoying part of fancy names for systems are the amount of wrong results when googling.
Im trying to learn Flutter and I want a striped background to move endlessly. I i get are either far more advanced animations, or hair salons...2 -
Restarting regular expression parser from scratch has been good. I am somehow both much farther to completion and farther away from completion than I was in the earlier implementation.
Further in the sense that this implementation is going to be way more flexible to changes in the language
Farther in that I haven’t even got all of the regex parts added to the first stage yet.
But I’m feeing good about it.
Even if I did refactor it so my constants are in all caps and now feel like my core is yelling at me.
11 -
So us Aussies are about to literally be forced into using NBN soon (for people who aren't Aussies, NBN would be worse than using a log of shit as your ethernet cable) and having all ADSL connections cut off... Fan fucking tastic!
They can barely keep the NBN up and running for one day and can barely deliver promised speeds but nooooooooooooooooooooo, everyone must fucking use it...3 -
Ordered some fucking computer glasses (which filter out the blue light). Been having red eyes and excessive fatigue these last months, plus sneaky headaches.
We're in 2018, and fucking delivery companies still think that people are at home waiting for their parcel. They came yesterday, fucking saw I wasn't there, they left a fucking delivery notice when my parcel does not require a signature!! I mean, what's the use of a P.O box if it's only there to host spiders in summer?
Plus on that stupid delivery note they've put a QR code - "please use the given code or scan this QR code to change your delivery options" - which is unreadable, AND they didn't give me the fucking code.
Be flexible for fuck's sake, and evolve with your time. I hate Slowtzerland for that - conservative, late, immuable. Especially in "social" services. 99% of the population is away from home from 6 to 18, time to fucking print that in your brain and get on with it.
Now I might wait until Saturday so I can get them glasses...5 -
The last time jeeper posted at all was seven days ago. He said he was sick in his last comment.
I'm pretty sure hes dead jim.
Should we start planning the funeral?30 -
Why do you invite devs to a meeting if your going to ignore all the points citing it's a business decision?1
-
TL;DR: Clients are still dumb.
The sequel to a previous rant ...
https://devrant.com/rants/1210209
——
Client IT Lead: "We've loaded your code into our website, but *this* particular part of it isn't working."
Me: "Fair enough. I'll make a fix and have it deployed."
... an hour later, my changes are deployed, and I notify the client that the fix is live ...
CIL: "Thanks for fixing that so quickly! Just a heads up, but I've noticed that some of our own code needed fixing, so I've gone ahead and made some tweaks <that will most definitely break your code>."
... another hour passes ...
CIL: "Hey, so, I don't know what happened, but that fix you pushed stopped working."
——
🤔🔫 -
Fuck you Tony Abbott and fuck your "Liberal" party of profit-mongers!!!
First they crippled the NBN. Then they blew out its budget. Now they are leveraging its monopolistic power.
Step 1: Build a single national broadband network 👷♂️
Step 2: Legislate everyone switches to it and phase out every other infrastructure (ADSL) i.e. establish monopoly by design 👑
Step 3: Profit 💸💸💸
Source: https://amp.9news.com.au/article/...24 -
School made me a stickler for the Linux kernel coding conventions in regards to the C language. And even though I shouldn't feel bothered by reading other coding styles.....i still get annoyed.
I try not to get irked cuz I find it a small thing to get annoyed at.... but i still do.....bad.
And even then i dislike how there is not padding inside of funcion parametes
void
fu(int here, int there) {}
Should be
void
fu( int here, int there ) {}
That space man...its needed.
Man this is such a small thing to be annoyed at..3 -
My boss keeps looking into the system log file and being scared of some totally irrelevant messages (for him). Time to introduce permissions in the control panel...1
-
My day today:
- tell everyone to fuck off and are idiots politely from 10 to 4
- tell them if they won’t fuck off now I will start looking for a job - 1 hour
- listening them apologizing me - 1 hour
- code and solve problems - 1 hour
Mondays
Hopefully I start working on Tuesday.5 -
So, most (if not all) modern operating systems sync their time with some trusted source (like the Internet) right? Windows included. All is well.
When your Windows 10 computers are joined to a domain, it thence relies on your local neighborhood domain controller to tell it the time. Sounds good, since domain controllers Never Go Down, right? All is well.
Services are all being cloud-ified, which means virtual machines. The domain controllers have suffered this fate, but everything is smooth and buttery. All is well.
Wait, the VM's clock is running slow. Uh oh....
Wait, isn't it supposed to ask the Internet?
Well, no. Domain Controllers decide that They Know All, and stop asking the Internet for its opinion.
This causes problems, but only ever so slowly, and it took me noticing all the computers seemed to be ten minutes slow compared to my phone (and well everyone else's phone) to realize what had happened.
Thanks, Windows...9 -
!rant
After a couple of depressing weeks with no progress on my projects and seeing reject emails one after the other, it feels cathartic to see some real momentum on my projects and finally scheduling telephonic interviews with multiple recruiters.
When it rains, it pours, but when it shines, you also get rainbows. :)
Fall is coming, the colors are changing.
-
!dev
People these days...
At a bakery 3 girls didn't bother to clean up after themselves although the only thing left to do was to t aske the tray and dump it's contents into the trash can WHICH IS ON THEIR WAY OUT. Yeah but have enough time to cake on rediculous amounts of makeup...
Someone literally shat at the tram stop at the main station so whenever took leave the tram you might just step into it.
Then there are always those religious people trying to hand out pamplets about how great their religion is and how much it is helping- they stand right next to a crippled homeless begger.
Just wow.9 -
Let me introduce you to sys. admin + network admin + teacher at our school... She gave us "materials" to study for our school-leaving exams (called matura here - wiki that shit) so I looked at it and just had to comment everything that's wrong (and that's only the first paragraph)...
Apart from making utterly useless documents she also likes to think she is the best in the world and what she says is right and everyone is wrong. Networks that she builds crash 8 times a month, she can't install proper drivers and believes that open source and GNU/Linux is evil. (She also lives by herself, is around 48 years old, is a lesbian(not that it is a bad thing - just for context) and got one brilliant teacher who actually knew what she was saying and doing fired because she broke up with her)
Thinking about it - no wonder my classmates are all so confused and stressed... she can't teach and says bullshit like printers work with the RGB color space and when confronted she would shout that there are no printers that use CMYK, she has never seen one so they do not exist. (only to proceed changing CMYK ink cartridges in the printer)... I mean it's good for me because I get to teach pretty girls programming and informatics but I am sorry for the boys... Unfortunately I don't have the patience to teach someone programming and informatics unless they are a girl and I see a chance to evaluate that person's qualities to be a girlfriend.
7 -
Wow that's a new one: a recruiter sent me a "React quizz to check my knowledge on the subject".
Next step would be to send a quizz where the good answers ARE the good answers, because even with the official documentation on the other screen, I get 13/20, which curiously matches with what everyone else got as a result. -
When you come back from work after filling up jira, talking with colleagues during too long stand ups and writing documentation it's time to finally sit down and write some pure code.
-
I will never fully understand why some people think command line package managers are "more complicated" than searching for and downloading software through the web browser.
I feel like the only reason why they think this is because the command line is not a user-friendly tool to them. All of my friends on Discord use Windows, and after showing them what a fantastic tool the Chocolatey package manager is, they don't want to have anything to do with it, because it involves entering commands.
I give up. If they don't want to use this amazing tool, that's their loss, not mine. I will just continue to run
> choco upgrade outdated -y
and update all of my programs with a single command, while they have to download installers and manually go through the setups.10 -
My surname is also a common firstname, so sometimes people mix them up and call me by my surname. I'm never offended and just answer by calling them by their surname too, so they understand... usually.
Today, the following e-mail exchange happened:
(Following are made-up names)
Me: Alexander William
Colleague 1: Kurt Richardson
Colleague 2: Amy Lopez
From: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
To: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
Hi,
Could I have an USB-C to HDMI adapter please ?
Thanks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
To: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
Hi Kurt,
I'm currently remote-working but if you are on premises tomorrow I could give one to you.
If you're not there tomorrow, I'll just drop it on Amy's desk so you can get it from her.
Regards,
Alexander William
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
To: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
Hi William,
I'm working on premises every thursday.
Regards.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
To: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
No problem, Richardson. As I said I'll then drop it on Lopez' desk.
Regards,
Alexander William
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: k.richardson@contoso.com <Kurt Richardson>
To: a.william@contoso.com <Alexander William>
Cc: a.lopez@contoso.com <Amy Lopez>
Good evening William, [Editor's Note: this was received at 14:23]
Thanks.
Is he fucking dense or what?11 -
I wanna rewrite a small php site with a microframework. So far, I've found Silex and Lumen an interesting choice, but I can't decide which one to go with, since both are new to me. Though I'm using Symfony a lot and haven't use Laravel yet and these micro ones are their lite editions, I'd choose Silex but Lumen seems better at first glance, so I'm uncertain. Which one do you suggest?8
-
the current ERP software i test has a function that, when you dont have the USB dongle plugged in, it will annoy the workflow with a popup where you have to solve simple math stuff. (Like 2041+949). I am kinda inclined to write a small programm that insta solves those pop ups.
I must note, this is a weird way of licence management.1 -
I hate when people use error, bug and glitch interchangeably. They are all different things people. Stop using such technical words if you don't even know their meanings.3
-
Argh.
I am backend web dev, which has nice software developer role, with later going to dive into devops a bit more.
And yet some people don't understand when they are told No!
I will not accept being hired for short terms job of sysadmin.
To make it worse it is offered by my mother.
She works for some person who has multiple web sites, and they suffer from some sort of attacks.
I am having no time for this. I work and learn 95% of my time.
I don't care what they offer. According to what I heard she works for corrupt person, and she already offered illegal work few days ago to me.
Thanks, no. They deal with too big sums of money, I dont wish to be arrested or killed. I have a good job, planned schedule for next half of year and my own life.3 -
Asked my UX guy a question, and he gives me a 45min rant on how I used the word "spec" incorrectly
Then proceeds to answer my question in one sentence
Oh how I love working with those visual people...6 -
Hey guys ! I'm currently working on a project to implement a simplest version of TinyDB on Z1 motes 😀
And you, what project are you currently working on ? 🤓11 -
Probably would have been a good idea for someone to tell me that if I upload the project to my tenant too many times it can break the entire realm and bring down all the other tenants in it. Good opportunity for some team documentation 😊
-
I've been creating my Typescript/C# projects using SOLID principles. Whenever someone randomly joins me in my projects at work, i feel they need a lot of help. Specially since they know programming, but are not familiar with SOLID.
Like ohhh ok you created a base class for that, or ohhh that method already exists in the base class sorry i've implemented it again, or ohhhh ok you already implemented this method in that class.
The more classes i create the more complicated it becomes, sometimes for me too!
I feel I have to write a documentation for the code I write just to keep up with the different, but code changes/augments so writing a doc is really time consuming.
However if i didnt create base classes or interfaces it would be less complicated to browse through method definitions.
I am happy with the code like that though, but in some specific times it's a pain in the ass.
Comments?2 -
When you're trying to go to sleep, but the requested features are calling your name.
😔😟😣😫
I just wanna sleep for once!!!1 -
I hate it when someone asks me for help in a part of his code, then I find that the problem is the whole code not just that part.
I have 3 options:
- try to make it work, and get lost in his shit, not refactored code.
- tell him that I am not that good so he get out of my face
- kill him, so he can reproduce
PS: just kidding -
I write code and deal with clients reporting bugs that are actually just misconfiguration or that are fixed in the latest release version, but they managed to forget deploying it for one particular separate service.
-
At college, second year, basic CS for that school. The teacher calls me to her office, and asked me if I had any backup of my work, because the school computer I used, had crashed and the school didn't have backup of it.
2 years of school material, lost. So the teacher and school director had to vouch for me. Still got best grade in glass. -
Just finished a defect fix, and turns out there's another unrelated but harder bug in the codebase. We are in the last few days of the release.
I told my tech leads that it was an unrelated problem and showed them in detail. I told them I was starting work on it now, but there should probably be a new defect entered for it.
They actually said for me to piggyback the old defect and let this go under the radar. Actually laughed it off like it was no big deal. Like WTF! I don't think its very unreasonable for devs to want separate defects for separate bugs. They're worried about analytics and shit, but I'm the one left holding the rug, looking like I spent a week on a trivial defect.5 -
"basically I have quite the experience and last job I was senior"
"How much experience do you have with [language] in specific?"
"About 4 years"
"Ah so you are medior, we are searching for a senior."
Seriously, who came up with the stupid idea of "must have 5+ years in a tech to be senior"?4 -
Types google in browser, google gives search result for "google", clicks that, then main google page opens( search bar in center) , here he starts the actual query2
-
I need to add new feature into the program which I wrote years ago so I start digging up the source code. The project is written in a language which I no longer code in.
That code is really poorly written with most of them don't have tests. I also find out that previous self is really a genius since he can keep track of huge project with almost no documentation.
To make matter worst, there are unused components (class,feature) in the source code. "Current me" have a policy of "just adding only a feature you need and remove unused feature" but it seem the "previous me" don't agree with the "current me".
The previous me also have the habit of using writing insane logic. I can remember what particular class and methods is doing but I can't figure out the details.
For example one method only have 5 line of code but it is very hard to figure out what those do.
The saving grace is that he know the important for method signature and using immutable data structure everywhere.
I was under the influence of caffeine and have a constant sleep deprivation at the time (only sleeping about 4 hour every day) so I can't blame him too hard.
I can't blame him too hard, right?
Could someone invent a time machine already? Invent time machine not to save the world but to save the developers from himself.5 -
1. Go to stackoverflow's homepage
2. Read some of the fine selection of questions that are asked
3. WTF?????11 -
I've been learning java back end web since November last year. A month ago I've tried JS/React and have fallen for it. All my back end guys are hating on me now, because, as they say, I'm not "an intellectual" anymore but a just JS pleb 🌩️🌩️
Wrong people to talk to i guess :sigh:18 -
One week ago Google overhauled their "Now News". The news have unnecessary categories over the title, can't be swiped away anymore and some cards are way bigger than others.
At least now its proven that this kind of news is advertised shit and no more independant.
Ty Google! 😡 -
When someone says that a company is Java/Python/Ruby "shop", they are implying that company sells those programming languages instead of its products. Would you call macys/nordstorm a cottonshop? See how ridiculous that sounds!2
-
On the topic of having to make decisions as a dev that shouldn’t be made (solely, at least) by devs…
There’s a lot to like in my current work environment: I enjoy being around my colleagues, I get to do a variety of tasks, and many of them interesting to me and/or great learning opportunities, the pay doesn’t suck and so on… there’s also not much pressure put on the dev team from other parts of the organisation. The flipside of the coin is that nobody who should express some kind of vision as to how we should develop the product further does so.
Me and my fellow devs in the team are so frustrated about it. It feels like we’re just floating around, doing absolutely nothing meaningful. It’s as if the business people just don’t care. And we are the ones ending up deciding what features to develop and what the specs are for those etc. and I really don’t think we should be the ones doing that.
One would think that’s a great opportunity to work on refactoring, infrastructure, security and process improvements and so on - but somehow we get bothered just enough by mundane issues we can’t get to work on those effectively. Also, many of the things we’d want to do would need sign-off from the management, but they are not responsive really. Just not there. Except for our TM, but they don’t have the power neccessary… at least they are trying tho… -
So a while back I was contacted by a recruiter, I wasn't interested at first but ended up interviewing and eventually took the role. Fast forward 2 months into the role I get a courtesy email asking how things are going and if I would like a call to chat.
I responded saying I didn't like the role and provided a suitable time to call. I never heard anything back until fast forward another 4 months.
Today I got a REPLY to my email where I said was not happy in the role, and what was the email about?
This guy wanted a favour as they had another candidate and wanted me to provide contact details of a manager to skip the usual HR process. -
Screw Scrum, screw it very much. Is it a task or a story? Oh let's make it a story to track points. What are points, really? *20 minute grilling always follows* Well they're kind of a roundabout way of talking about time without talking about time, mkay? But last time 2 points took you a day, what gives now? What do you mean points are for internal use, but how will management plan ahead for next quarter? Ok, let's mix in all those new people, and propotionately bump the expectation for the sprint, mkay? Yeah, they did 34 points per sprint over there, we'll just add those in. Oh, and by the way, after the 4-day estimation session we had where everyone was seizuring, I scheduled us at 645 points for the coming quarter, mkay? Don't worry, I added 15% for the "unexpected dtuff" so you're safe. Fuck you scrum, scrum-fall, whatever you are. Lost a dev lead role once for being honest about it after a year with a team that loved me, and projects completed more or less on time. Been reconsidered for a dev lead role for being honest about it in another place. Somebody else peddle this kool-aid, this one prefers a walk-on role in the wall to a lead role in the cage.5
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I like how I'm the only programmer or tech-kid in my school, since everybody else is using there phones for SnapChat and texting in the middle of class.
While I'm over here talking about the insides of software and hardware like if I were the person that made them.
Seriously, I wish I could show my classmates that spending all of their time on apps and websites that sell your personal data is less fun (and basically stupid) than actually making what you want with nothing but a text editor and computer.
But oh well, 90% of my classmates are either assholes, cringy white girls (or Mexican girls), and the only people I find tolerable or even likable, are the people that don't talk much.
(Like me)8 -
Okay, so we've learned nothing new.
A degree is a useless waste of time and nobody cares about it.
Said by someone who's currently in school, and will learn the basics of the stuff I'm currently doing day to day in about roughly three years.2 -
React Native testing is hair pulling.
Every test needs to have 100 different mocks in place and there are: 3 different methods to mock a function (mock, mockImplementation, and fn), 3 different types of query methods to get elements (get, find, and query), and 5 different selectors to query on (accessibility label, testId, accessibility hint, accessibility value, etc.)
And after reading all this, being diligent and learning the difference between stupid, synonymously-named functions which have wildly different side effects like "getByA11yHint" and "findByA11yHint" (ugh...), after all that, you write out a test with all the appropriate mocks and you want to do something simple and it beats you up all over again.
Button enabled or button disabled. Simple right? Logically the former is "expect(elem).toBeEnabled()" and the latter is "expect(elem).not.toBeEnabled()", right?
Wrong! You're an imbecile. Your tests will fail and never tell you that ".not.toBeEnabled()" and ".toBeDisabled()" don't do the same thing even though they look and sound exactly the same. Only the latter will work. The former makes all your tests fail. Where is this written in the docs? Nowhere?! Great!
👌😄🔫3 -
Hello ranters, I have to send my beloved laptop to acer support to get somethings fixed and I'm worried for my stickers. I don't want to get them damaged or lost (maybe they need to change the screen back plate or maybe they send me a new laptop all together). Is there a way to peel the off and reapply them with new glue?5
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I don't know if this even belongs here, but lately, thinking about all the people that i used to know and how they just disappeared kinda makes me depressed. When i was a kid, i thought i was supposed to deal with loneliness, and i was very alone yet not realising the friends i had at the time and how i lost contact with all of them. So this is a rant on myself, fuck me. I had a bunch of friends online and in real life too, and all of them just vanished due to my indifference, wonder if they all are doing all right but fuck me i am a fucking moron and i absolutely desereved to be alone for like years. Take this rant with a grain of salt and approciate the people that you engage with in work or hell even online.2
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Friday releases are always a bad idea. The feeling of dread over the weekend seeing all the "bugs" and changes come in put a huge dampener on the weekend mood.
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Ugh, making a game engine (It's more like a framework than an engine but idgaf) and it's all based around easy to make content and everything is built using 'mods' hence its name, The Mod Engine but I've been trying to come up with a logo for the engine... Why is it so fucking hard trying to make a logo!
Anyone have any suggestions? :-/1 -
Vue, a classy piece of shit. I need to write my tests. But half of the vue-test-utils is either broken or has literally 1.5 lines of explanation. How do you expect me to create a functioning test if the tests in your testing framework are broken1
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I graduate college in December and I got my first fulltime job offer today! I've been working in my university's oit department for 3 semesters, lol most of rants are about that job. I guess a lot of my frustration stemmed from being capable but hitting a wall in the sort of things I worked on. I didnt feel like I was growing and had no avenues to express concerns/feedback towards the end. Plus the job was not one where they could give me a job after graduation, so I just felt unseen and discardable day to day.
But turns out this job worked out for me! There's an opening in a whole other division that does api development and data warehousing with Snowflake/Attacama and they want me specifically for it. If the benefits/pay ends up being decent, I'm leaning towards accepting it. -
The company I work at severely limits the days we can take off, like most requests I put in will be denied. Additionally, I don't get paid that well or even get paid for time off or holidays. Obligatory: the job I work at currently is co-op, I'm still in college.
Yesterday and today I was severely burnt out so I said I was sick when I wasn't really so I could get some (unpaid) time off. It's likely that the current release we're targeting at work will be in jeopardy because of this. I feel so guilty, should I be? I really needed this time, I doubt I could have continued much longer without this.
TLDR, please help me justify not giving a shitty job my unconditional 100% and being shitty back every once in a while2 -
So....
Another machine not working till morning.
That's what happens when the engineer knows a bit how to operate the machines but doesn't have a grasp on how cutting tools work...
Replacing 60€ tools every 4 hours that should last a week is not profitable.
When so many tools are spent that there's no more in stock.
Also manufactor has cutting parameters for a reason... Making the tools work 3 times faster or deeper does not mean profit, means damaged machines and tools.
As comparison, think over clocking a cpu to 7000hz and pushing it to the max 24h a day...5 -
!dev
Ok, fuck my city. We are fucking freezing here the second day now, no hot water, no heat, it is around 0 degrees outside and THEY FUCKING CAN'T COMMENT ON THE CURRENT SITUATION AND WHAT HAPPEND OR WHEN WE WILL STOP FREEZING? WHAT THE HELL????3 -
Don't fucking put exclamation marks in your fucking error messages!
I fucking hate turds that does this!5 -
Anyone seen the series "You Are Wanted Wanted" with the german actor Matthias Schweighöfer on Amazon? (Don't know if it's available outside of Germany)
Anyways.. they basically took scenes from various known digital works and put them in there. And whenever that happened i felt the cringe rising in me..:I
Examples are faked cctv recordings as seen in prison break, JASON with the red balloon, heavy rain and the all people are hacked and used thing from a black mirror episode..1 -
So after I had an interview for a part-time(student) position, I got an offer. The only thing I find it weird is shit pay for the thing that I have to implement. A full application with, with a nice architecture and all. Something that you would task a full time middle developer. Cheap work..2
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I got downvoted in stackoverflow because the guy had two problems. One he mentioned in the question, everyone answered that. The problem persisted because there was another problem too. And I kindly mentioned the problem. I currently have two downvotes on that answer. And I bet you, the answer is correct and working. I even created a codepen.3
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a "configurable" confirmation system, where page conditions (e.g. customerId=someId, etc.) are stored in the DB as a comma separated string to be run through a stack expression evaluator, so that customers can add a "confirmation" (aka just a modal dialog) with custom reminder text when a user does a certain thing on a certain page....2
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If you compare a software developer's job with another, let's say a doctor or a lawyer, the former doesn't require mastery and there is continuous chase on fast changing version numbers or an entire platform coming out. Former innovates without question and gets burned out in the process. While the latter demands mastery of certain fields and the specialization isn't diverse enough compared to former. Yet the pay for latter might be higher. What are the pros and cons have you felt as a developer and how do you cope to address it internally? Is it just the thrill and excitement of new things coming out? What fulfillment do we get aside from the satisfaction of clean code, unit test and successful deployments? How much impact have we really given? And is there a place for developers to final settle down? Don't get me wrong; I won't stop until death probably but I hope adulting responsibilites won't make us break.
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I wonder if the support girls at this domain registrar company are real girls or just a fake front to appeal to the customers.
The ones I have chatted with so far have russian names.
If they are real girls, that's pretty cool. I appreciate girls in IT industry.
But if they are fake profiles, that's quite shitty of them to manipulate customers like that.5 -
I never thought how hard it would be to write cross platform software. If statements and try/excepts are everywheeere. And I still need to reformat the strings for different aspect ratios.
I wish I had the balls to use this awesome sentence "Works on my machine" 😂 -
iOS public beta: people download it like a new gm release. « Why this shit are not working... » 🤯
Can’t wait two month more? Stupid users!1 -
Hey devs What's up ?
Let me ask u a thing that could have happened in ur life ....
U ppl might have suffered from eye strain and are not able to see PC screen further .
What u ppl do in this case ????
Plzz help .17 -
Sometimes I wonder how big it companies with more then 500k net worth get away with bugs in their webapps.
In my company we also have bugs but I am the only dev and we won't hit the 100k Salesmark with our software.3 -
Right now, most of my friends in whatsapp are doing one of those stupid viral message challenge that is designed to "testify friendships".
This latest one that i got goes something like this: they ask to send one of your pic to them and they will add it to their status. Then you have to also add their pic they send you as your status. Also you have to forward the challenge to your friends.
I don't know who comes up with such crazy stupid messages that is designed to force people change their perception of friendship. It's amazing how simple and gullible people are to such messages.
Spoiler Alert: yep, i also send it to few of my friends just for the heck of it.4 -
What are the benefits of windows server 2012 over linux? I received a CD & key for free, but I can't decide if I should play around with it for a learning experience or gift it to someone who could actually use/need it for their work.3
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Even when the code is right, it's wrong. Like when you are fixing bugs:
"damn, this variable doesn't look like it belongs in this part of the code", but when you look further into it you see that is correct and you continue with the bug and have no idea what the next step should be.1 -
Does anyone happen to know of some good resources for securing a flask app? I'm writing my first flask app on a development host and just like crabs to pubes, I've got bots attacking it already.
I'm working on fail2ban now and I'm reading up on options listed here: https://pythonhosted.org/Flask-Secu...
thank you in advance for your help or expertise with Flask/Security!! -
I was once trying to create a video player since the format was not supported by the browsers today, so i started to download the video files from the server. Only to discover a bug in my code was trying to download a video file from the server. This was way to much for the server to handle and caused it to crash. People where running in the building to get the stream back up, i sat there silently and killing my browsers process. Since then i always test my request from local if they are okay before downloading a file from a server
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!rant question
Anybody else: Solarized (no affiliation)? Dark and light are so beautiful. Plugged in to terminal, window manager, (neo)vim, statusline (yeah, the Awk thing). Feels so beautiful. Can read shit off it anywhere, and my eyes aren't going any more blind.
P.S devRant team please get post separation up so that I don't have to add a 'question/rant/meme' tag to everything I post. <3 Love u guys! -
Windows RDP, multiple sessions per user are turned on..
I always fall into one of existing sessions with all the crap left opened by my coworkers.. I'm fuckin sick of this shit, noone closes things after they stop using servers.. // the rant part
Is there a way to force new session on connect? // the question part
I tried googling but either I'm blind or don't know what to google.. only managed to find how to connect to specific existing session.. :/6 -
Not a rant more of a guidance question. That being said,
What are some of the best websites, tutorials, books to becoming a UI/UX designer? Or just a graphic designer?
Thank you all in advance 😁7 -
Does anyone know if there actually is a way to make URL alias? Like:
I wanna go to https://maps.google.com
But instead I only wanna type : maps.google
Just like that new thing of Google "sheets.new"
Or are there any Google Developers that may see this and are gonna implement this 😉
And I know: But why don't just type .com behind it? Well.. If there is one thing that I've learned as developer it's that every second you spend to long on one thing.. You actually waste because at the end you could've wrote a whole project! Or fixed a bug or something like that. You know what I mean17 -
To all my sysadmins/devops, what's your opinion on GoAccess (if you've used it or are currently using it)?
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I graduated from a non elite institute, from non CS branch. I was working in a not so know startup. It was so difficult to get referrals at big orgs like Amazon, Flipkart...
Now that I'm already in Flipkart, atleast 1 recruiter contacts me each day with openings in the best companies in India... Seriously wth, I made a switch a month ago!1
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