Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.
14 -
There is this salesman right across from me that always brags about how rich his parents are and how lucky us tech guys are for having such an easy job. He told me one day that he was going to quit and make his own software company currently having no developing experience at all because "I've seen some of these developers. If those guys can do it, it'll be a breeze." I convinced him that the best language to learn in order to make your own websites/apps is Linux command line. Hilariously enough, the other 2 devs heard me say that and when Glenn the sales douche followed up with them one of them told him "Yeah, If you think you're really going to be quick with it then Linux will be your best bet, but if you have trouble just learn C++ instead and you'll still be able to make websites." Best of luck on your new Venture, you spoiled jizz stain.8
-
Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.2 -
That awkward/awesome moment when you are looking at dank memes at work and your boss is standing behind you and laughs :')1
-
Alias coworker = high school classmate
This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.
1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.
So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.6 -
Programmer's son asks his father:
Dad, why do the sun rises on the east and sets on the west ?
Father: It works ! Do not dare to touch it.4 -
Coworker: This guy's computer is completely messed up...
Me: What? Why?
Coworker: So he installed some virus...
Me: Yeah? And...?
Coworker: And apparently it changed all certificates for antivirus programs into Untrusted Certificates - so he can't install anything that could remove the virus!
Me: That's horrifying..7 -
When you download devrant and you are told to put your skills in your profile
I know the basic html they teach you at w3schools. That's literally it8 -
All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.
2 -
Co-worker: "We would appreciate it if your future commits weren't so ignorant and bigoted"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Co-worker: "You made the gender variable a boolean"
I... But... Okay...13 -
Our youngest female proyect member has finally delivered her first son.
Now the time of dank puns about releasing, delivering and downloading has finally come 😁1 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
-
I draw things! I bet we all draw things, but I still think it counts as nerdy.
...unless you draw UML diagrams on whiteboards. Doesn't count.
... unless you draw stick figures battling ON those UML diagrams. Counts.
... unless those stick figures battling demonstrate dependencies or demographics. Doesn't count.
... unless you put little pirate hats on them. Counts.
... unless you're contracting for a Somali counter-piracy recon project. Doesn't count.
... unless you also include dank memes. Counts.3 -
Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
-
The joy that happens when the QA intern knows how to program and tells you which lines in the source to check out2
-
Once Upon a Time.........
Three database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out Because they could not find a table.1 -
Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.3 -
Dank Learning, Generating Memes with Deep Learning !!
Now even machine can crack jokes better than Me 😣
https://web.stanford.edu/class/...
2 -
Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site4
-
Just finished my third year of my comp sci degree when a friend found me a position at a very small startup. I was asked to build a web crawler to take job postings off kijiji and craigslist and place them in our database for our clients to find. It didn't take long to build (even with limited experience). It was pretty shady. I didn't think i'd have to deal with the ethics of a task so soon in my new dev-life! Luckily it never made it to the live site. After that they got me to work on their android app (not so shady)
4 years later i still work for that company building apps. It's still a small team, and i love 'em 🤙1 -
Goddamn! Take a shower! You smell dank as fuck!
People coming into my cubicle smelling this way piss me off! I know it's possible for you to find time to shower.
Jesus12 -
My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks.Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.3 -
watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?10
-
about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
-
Had an issue running through someone else's buggy code and my PM told me to "use a goto to fix it up, those always used to help me in school". Can a recruiter on here throw me a bone and get me out of this place?
-
Recently I receive a ton of mails from cool/hip/rockstar startups. They all run like this:
"We are a innovative Startup based on a [insert some random stuff or buzzword] blockchain! If you're a student with skills and experience in blockchain, machine learning and AI willing to change the world with our sick technology and make it a better place..."
The best thing about this: since they are a innovative Startup they expect you to work for free.
But who am I to judge something so brand-new and innovative. I contacted them to find out what these dank innovations are about.
They can't even explain what a blockchain is or the basics of ML and AI, they basically just want someone do it for free...
It's still ok since no one is gonna fall for this bait... this morning a friend of mine told me he got a new job... and he even can work from home...
I'm not even mad, I just feel sadness and sorrow specially for him, because he is a good dev and accepts big times underpay and now free work, because he thinks a day off in his CV will lead him to be unemployed 😭
Fucking hate it how people successfuly manipulate kids and youth to them to work 24/7 for minimum wage or even for free and some other douchebags trying to take advantage of this 😡1 -
I'm having a strong urge to kill that asshole that asked me, on a SECOND interview for a SENIOR position if I knew what ORM was!!!
Are you making me fucking waste my time you fucking cunt???
Did you fucking read my CV?
Obviously not because you would have seen several ORM technologies on it you fucking piece of shit.
You made me waste my time, and now I have no choice but to slice your fucking throat!
I'll be waiting for you, in the dark you mother fucker.13 -
swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?1 -
Emergancy carepackage for tough dev days.
- Coffee
- Music
- Dank memes
- And of course: Devrant, to Dev vent my frustration. 😉 -
had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back
-
At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here6 -
My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
-
Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.3
-
jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!
more beer needed... -
when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to) -
in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!3
-
Went to unbox and use my Air Fryer a few minutes ago (we are not worthy of these amazing tools) after a hard day of working on RPA and I couldn’t help but chuckle at this.
HA. GOTTEM (more like got me tbh)
3 -
Yesterday I told an intern that was supposed to be shadowing me that he'll need to download visual studios with apache Cordova plugin for multi platform app design. I gave this assignment to him first thing in the morning (around 9:30 am) and told him to head home for the day thinking I was giving the kid a break to download and make sure the build was proper and to play around with it maybe. I check my inbox this morning to find that, alongside numerous expletives, this intern has quit as of 3:40 AM last night. I... I didn't see that one coming.4
-
I just switched to the dank side.
It’s like.... devRant in a whole new setting! (10/10 pun intended).
Now I need to become a supporter to go deeper into the dankess... 💀2 -
Fucking gnome and their stupid fucking alerts. Seemed like an okish desktop, but cosing in vim triggers a metric butt ton of alerts which interrupts my super chill beats. So, ok lets disable them. Oh look there's a toggle.. easy enough. NO because those motherfucking alerts, while now silent, still cut off my music for a couple hundred ms every time they're triggered. Fuck you gnome.7
-
When commenting it would be nice to see the comment you are commenting against. Often they are long with several points and you can't refer back to it8
-
!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?
2 -
!rant
Hi, I got a question to you all but preferably to the german devs. Which education and what kind of studies do you got? I am currently looking what I want to do after school but it's hard to get a overview what actually is necessary.
Thank you very much for your answers.
-German-
Was für eine Ausbildung und oder Studium habt ihr? Es ist schwer zu wissen, welches Studium man braucht, da gerade bei Informatik die Studiengänge unterschiedlich heißen aber im Studienplan dann mehr oder weniger das gleiche drinsteht.
Vielen Dank für eure Antworten!12 -
getting my new laptop today. Thinkpad X1 Yoga (2nd Gen). Can you guess the first thing I'll do?
if you guessed "install a Linux distro" you guessed right. I'm looking to try something new; I'm a sucker for dank animations and polished UI/UX. suggestions?
nb4 "use arch"... no.20 -
If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right
-
I found myself tonight imagining what a conversation between Cheech and Chong about serverless would be.
Maybe the basis for a new talk?
Suggestions please1 -
Anybody else get shouted at by partner when you put all heavy stuff at front of conveyer when shopping, or rearrange dishwasher so more things will fit, etc. I thought I was just being logical about these things...1
-
Suggestions for UK conferences please, already going to devoxx, anything devvy would be good, or architecture or web related
-
npm you dank pile of shit!
After updating npm I get "Maximum call stack size exceeded" when I use npm install --no-bin-links as usual.
After searching a solution for this shit it seams like the npm devs fucked around with the --no-bin-links option, since this nasty error message vanishes if one downgrade npm.
These goddamn assholes.
Keep your filthy fingers off this option, since it is essentially for windows devs!11 -
In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?10
-
I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?3
-
Opinions please. When end user is not paying for service, who is my customer? For example public facing government project2
-
Software Idea: correlation between MicroShit updates vs number of rants on that date
guess that would give some interesting results -
Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen3
-
In client terms, a “3rd party” is akin to Angelina Jolie. Despite the promise that you’ll be able to have an enlightening conversation over a nice meal and hopefully hook up afterwards ... sorry, it ain’t happenin’. You’re just gonna have to fantasize about it while you take care of business yourself.
-
Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?
-
!rant
So we played a game where everyone in class gets a piece of paper strapped onto his back and everybody else can write one positive thing about the person. Some people wrote anime, osu and dank memes on my back. Mfw when not even mad4 -
When the final card is checked off and you realize the past year and a half has been spent making this absolute monster of a service. There really is no better feeling.
-
Lead developer tells me to hang tight while he works on an issue and investigates.
PM tells me to make more cards for this section and fix it while the lead developer works on the same exact part.
So... I guess I'll go take a 2 hour lunch?1 -
I've been trying to buy Dank Mono for a few weeks now. Purchase link doesn't work, AND I can't even contact the creator to figure out what the deal is. I guess fuck me and fuck my American dollars???!!!!1
-
Could you guys give me advice on how to write good code?
(I'm mostly doing TypeScript and C++)
And what other languages should I learn?14 -
What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking6
-
New to the the electronics stuff and I'm building a word clock. Recommendations for a microcontroller that has at least 22 outputs (22 words to light up). Something from Arduino? Also need to plug in for power and use an RTC.5
-
We've got new TV for monitoring, which auto-rotating meme page you like ? Cats, dogs, dank (sfw), dev, testing. Gimme yours !!! :)1
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View