Client: how much for a face recognition system?
...
Client: well fuck you that's too expensive, I ll have my nephew do it.

Got my hands on an interesting API.
Look around on the site.
No documentation. Like, nothing. Not even examples.
Tried calling it.
Response code: 200 OK
Body: Unknown Error.

Well, fuck you too.

OneDrive:
Login -> Password/Account is wrong
Forgot Password -> Account does not exist
Registration -> There is already an account with this email adress
Well, Fuck you

Windows: Copying 2,513 items from <here> to <here>.
Me: OK.

Windows: 84% complete.
Me: OK.

Windows: Shit.
Me: What?!

Windows: "Copying" dialog box is not responding.
Me: Fuck you.

Windows: Well, yeah, sorry.
Me: Fuck you.

Windows: Do something else until it unfreezes.
Me: OK.
.
.
.
Me: Fuck you. Everything's stuck. Can't click anywhere.
Windows: You can still use your mouse, though.

Me: Yeah, I guess. Wait a second, it's also stuck. The whole thing is frozen as ice.
Windows: What about keyboard?

Me: I said, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!
Windows: Well, sorry?

Me: FUCK YOU!!

That's when I sold my bitcoins for wedding gift shopping.

WELL FUCK YOU TOO!

Had an external hdd for backing up family photos etc. (back when I just discovered Linux and still used windows as well)

Connected it to my windows system and it said that the thing was corrupt and i had to format it.

Well fuck, a few hundred gb's of pictures, memories, backups etc etc probably lost. (keep in mind I didn't know that much about computers at that point)

Was about to format that thing with literally tears in my eyes when I thought I'd, because why the fuck not since I was out of options anyways, try it as well on my Ubuntu installation.

EVERYTHING WAS STILL ON THERE AND PERFECTLY ACCESSIBLE.

After a very much rage attack on windows I formatted the windows partition and used that as a backup space as well :).

FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!

Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !

Well, I don't have much to say.... Just FUCK U Stack Overflow...

Client: Saw you did some cool logos...can you design us a logo as well?

Me: sure, do you have any ideas already?

Client: no

Me: Whats the name of the company/project?

Client: We don't know yet.

Me: FUCK YOU!!!

Well... My fist table drop in prod... Cheers 🍻
Fuck.

!rant
Has anyone made a "What does @dfox say?" joke yet?

"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
Boring. Overused.

"Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow"
- New
- Metal as fuck
- Works just as well

well shit, fuck you

I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye

*Friend's phone isn't sending messages*
Me: "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
Friend: "Oh fuck off"
Me: "Well have you? just do it."
*restarts phone, it works*
Me: "funny how that happens"

Unsubscribe link on an email results in 403?? WELL FUCK YOU TOO, ASSHATS!

Well, fuck.

00:00: Yeah I'll change that now, it'll only take 5 minutes.

00:05: well that's done, better do this too though before I forget.

02:20: well that escalated quickly.. Better grab 3 hours sleep while I can.

04:00: Fuck.

Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.

Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:

- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.

I wanted to copy some backup data over again:

1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.

2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.

3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.

4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.

5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.

This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.

FUCK.

Well, fuck you too.

When on monday, a client asks you "WHY SOMETHING ISN'T FINISHED". Well, we don't work on weekends. Fuck off.

Well, FUCK YOU TOO LINKEDIN!!!

I thought, maybe, MAYBE I’ll meet a better class mate for uni group project since I’m at master degree instead of bachelor...

WELL FUCK, there is still people who played dead when I tried to chat them. Fuck group project, fuck you if you read this, I know you’re here sometimes

First day on the phone as a support guy!
Before the first call came in I thought like 'please no email related issues as that's the one thing I suck at!'

Fair enough, first call:
Me: hello, how can I help you?
Customer: well, we've got this email problem...
Me thinking: MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK WHY ME 😭
Me: what seems to be the problem?

Damn, really?!

I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.

Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!

I fucking hate python and myself even more. Python is easy they say, Python has nice syntax but fuck you . Fuck you seriously I cringe if I see non-c-like syntax. Every time I leave my comfort zone I get fucked over by damn semicolons. Fuck this imports i don't know your damn library. But god damn In far too advanced for hello world. There are two versions and the lib I want to use is incompatible? Well fuck me? That kind of shit never hit me on PHP. Damn me! Fuck you python. I want to know you but you fuck me harder than life. GEHÖRT? DU FICKST MICH HÄRTE ALS DAS LEBEN DU HURENSOHN!!!!

What is even your problem? Indentation? Well thank you for not having braces! I mean come on I try, I really do. I know you are different but every thing I want to learn about you is either for uber beginners or so advanced I don't even know what's going on. Do magical shit in a few lines? What the fuck is in those packages? A wizard full filling whishes like "plz make this work"?

But don't worry you cum snorting unicorn as much as I hate you I'm more mad about me for not being a descendant of fucking slytherin!

Well fuck me. Just went to my first meetUp with a group of Haskell programmers.

I think they broke Enigma in 3 lines of code.

Serious shit.

Hats off to those guys!

I send a PR to your GitHub repo.
You close it without a word.

I tell you that your lib crashes because you're trying to parse JavaScript with a (bad) regex, but you keep insisting that no, there exist no problem, and even if you barely know what "parsing" means, you keep denying in front of the evidence.

Well fuck you and your shitty project. I'll keep using my fucking fork.

And if you're reading this, well, fuck you twice. Moron.

> Work starts at 9 AM
> I wake up at 9 AM
> ... 200 IQ

Happy New Year, everyone :')

Well fuck, I hope it returns an unsigned short. Why can't you just return a color type?

Websites that don't let you copy paste email addresses. Well then, I'll do it using inspector. You're not going fuck with me, that's for sure.

Installing a new Debian VM/VPS.
Nearly done with all steps and decide to lay down.
Fall asleep and wake up half an hour later.

The grub option is on screen.
I am sleepy as fuck.
Accidently selected the manual option and just pressed enter at the screen where I have to enter the device name.

FUCK.

Well, let's install this fucker again.

Well, fuck you too!

Yall talking about how you hate notches, well fuck you. I have the best notch ever on my phone.

Well how the fuck?

Well fuck me in the ass and call me Charlie.

I just had to bare witness to 2 years worth of files being deleted due to a minor.. well.. minor in the sense of not checking for an empty string, but massive fucking bug.

Thank all the gods of all the religions for backups!!

Waiting for a meeting, thought I might as well show off my XPS sticker game.

ALSO, FUCK MEETINGS. MULTIPLE HOURS WASTED FOR SAYING THOUSANDS OF SHITS AND LIKE ONE USEFUL THING.

Edit: legit forgot pic

Downloading all kinds of icons for a project from this website and kept having the feeling that I was missing something.

Everything finally downloaded aaaaaaand I’m realizing I had to download them in three colors instead of black.

Well I guess I’ll just go fuck myself 😑

Remember those innocent looking two lines of code that you didn't write a test case for, because they can't possible break, right? Well, they are going to fuck you up.

Python be like
"During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred" ... Exception : exception not defined.

Well fuck you too goddammit

Yeah sure, you can have your site files and database. Host it yourself. Get your cousin to maintain it. Go ahead. Yeah, sure, you're gonna do ~really~ well. Bye bye, ya micro-managing fuck nugget :D

Fuck you StackOverflow! Why do you ban people who have a positive score? Shit, I'm raging right now. I have a positive fucking score! It is not because I asked a few questions that were not well received by your fucking elitist overrated frustrated community that I should be banned!
And fuck off I'm not a native english speaker, it is OBVIOUS that I won't be able to make perfect sentence in all contexts.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Well captcha fuck you too

For those of you retards that post shit like:

"fuck"

"well I hate this"

or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.

Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.

Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.

"We are a privacy focused company that places the user first"

Alrightm, let's check:
dig domain.com MX

Well, another company talking shit, MX record points to google.
Fuck off

Fuck those clients which are surprised when they get an invoice when they ask you to do something for them.

I think it's as simple as:

- you know my hourly rate
- you ask me to do some work for you
- I give you an estimation
- you agree with the estimation
- I get the job done and show it to you
- you accept the edits/solutions
- I send you an invoice with less hours than estimated
- you agree with the invoice and pay

It seems that every step is going well, except the last one...

Well... fuck you too.

Why... why the fuck do people write unit tests and then comment out the god damn fucking assertion lines....
Like what the flying fuck? Cool, we can get some code coverage marks but for fuck sake actually let your tests do their fucking job!!!

Oh, the asserts fail?
Well fucking sort that shit out instead of commenting them out.

I don't get it, if you're going to write tests, fucking test something with them, or we'd be better of without them.

*reads article*
"Join us over the next pages -"

Well fuck you. How about I tell you to suck my cock in 6 rounds for wanketeering purposes, how'd you like that? Fucking pieces of shit.

I'm typing this with my mouse and an on-screen keyboard, because I don't have my physical one at the moment...
Fuck, imagine coding with a mouse...

FUCK WEB3, FUCK CRYPTO, FUCK NFTS, FUCK ALL THIS PONZI ASS BIG BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU WHOEVER MADE THJS!!!! THE ONLY ONES WHO PROFIT ARE NOT THE ONES WHO BUY CRYPTO OR JPEGS BUT THE ONES ON TOP OF THIS PYRAMID WHO CREATED IT!!!!! MIGHT AS WELL CODE MY OWN PYRAMID COIN/JPEG AND SELL IT TO SUCKERS!!!!!!!! FCKK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Client: How's our B2B data lookup platform coming along?
Me: All done, your clients can now search by first/last name as well.
Client: I just search "fuck" as first name and 5 results came up, our data is not cleaned up properly.
Me: Fuck
Client: Fuck

Fucking fuck you fucking fucked up fuckery.

I got fired and signed mortgage at the same day. Well looks like next two months going to be fun.

Time to get drunk.

why the fuck do people on here like firefox quantum:

- windows: works, does its job well, but fuck it!

- php: works, does its job well, but fuck it!

- wordpress: kinda does its job, but fuck it!

- firefox quantum: works, does its job well, but ❤️ it

MFW the company that have a turnover around $100 million via their woocommerce site only does'nt want to upgrade from PHP5.4 because "it is too much work".

Well fuck you then

Well.. Fuck u MS.

Well fuck... I don't think I can just skip that step.

Well fuck!

Did you bitch about VS Code new orange icon color??
Well then... FUCK YOU!

Fuck you gas company for back billing me 1500...I don't need you...built my own heating system...and with my managed pdu I can switch on remotely so its warm when I get home...so you can shove your heating app up your arse as well

Why the fuck do people care about age so much?
Unlike other activities, you can be 15 years old and be as good as a senior dev, so why the fuck do you need to degrade me because you found out my age?
I still deliver the promised work, so what the fuck?

As for kids who try to get recognition because they're young and program, well, fuck you too!

Programming isn't about age or maturity, since in this age of tech, anyone can pick up a computer and an internet connection and learn, so why do you feel that younger individuals have less capabilities?

I just had to get that out of me since it pisses me off a fuck load.

OK, I've had enough of this bullshit!
Why the hell do some people pronounce 'Z' as 'C' !?!
FUCK THESE PEOPLE!

Now, you might ask yourself: "But how is this tech related?".
WELL... I was trying to get into a server and had someone spell the password for me; AND GUESS WHO MISSPELLED THE PASSWORD THREE FUCKING TIMES SO HE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE FUCKING SERVER BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT!!!
FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK!!!!!

Fuck yeah I love Thursdays! Deployments went well in the office, freelance clients are satisfied as well and I am drunk with my wife... what more can a dev(ranter) ask for?!

Well I'm on the way to an interview for an IT Management internship at Logitech, wish me luck I'm so fucking scared.
Any tips will be nice because I'm so fucking afraid I will fuck it up

Why the fuck am I - who never had a girlfriend in his life - the person my friends come to to get relationship advice?

Well, I can tell them what no to do...

This goddamned sewer-tier, rancid-as-fuck code may as well have been shat, eaten, and re-shat by a slug-fucking muck demon.

So fucking vile.

What the fuck is up with interviewers asking about my goddamn hobbies now? My hobby is slowly going blind while frustratedly talking to myself through an anthropomorphized rubber duck you fucking idiot, that's why I'm here in the first place. "Well we want a well rounded person". I'll give you a well-rounded asshole. It used to be, "well do you write code in your spare time too"? What the fuck do they want from us? Next time I'm answering this new "hobby" question as follows:
I DO COKE AND FUCK STRIPPERS! I'M THE ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER YOU'RE ALWAYS JERKING OFF TO, CAN YOU EVEN HANDLE THAT YOU ASTONISHING PUSSY?

Fuck you OnePlus, fuck you.

Edit: I blocked open.oneplus.net in my DNS as well.

Have you ever lost 1,5 TB in few seconds? Well... Here I am... Fuck my life. Really, fuck it!

GO FUCK YOURSELF BY A CRAZY PONY SAFARI !
Fucking useless browser that hide by default the fucking dev tools.
And also it fucking supports flexbox but can't fucking calculate height 100%.
Fucking fuckitty fuck.
Have your website with a shitty ui then. Might as well do a popup saying "switch browser" cause even IE manage to understand height:100%.

WTF?!? Why do I have to sign in to your app, but can only uns „Sign in with Google“ and „Sign in with Facebook“? Well fuck you and your app, not gone use it than!!!

Every meeting that includes "X feature doesn't work on iOS"

Well, fuck you apple!

I just got insulted by a Facebook add :/

Just opened my laptop to see if I can upgrade my ram, and yes I can

And I've got space for a 2.5 drive as well!
Fuck yeah!

All I need is a 1080 inside of this :P
But I've just got a shitty built-in gpu...

I just decided to do something productive today. Well... Fuck my life

You can only use letters and spaces for names...
WELL FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOUR STUPID DEVS!
FUCK THIS!
(still a cool service tho)

We need to fill a Google form for some formalities at college. They want us to fill our parents' anniversary date as well. Why the fuck?

Thankfully, the field is not marked as compulsory to fill else I'd be paranoid as hell (still am tho).

Fuck you Australian Fucking Internet!!

Yea sure i have fucking hours to sit here and fucking upload a 4GB repo to gitlab at 5kb/s!!! - yes the slow ass KILOBYTES, you overly expensive piece of horse shit.

fuck it, connects to phone and bam 1MB/s uploads, well theres goes a chunk of this month data :(

Today I woke up on a beautiful day, feeling well rested. Then I remember PHP is a thing and it all went to shit. FUCK YOU, FUCK SHIT FUCK

Well fuck you too Farnell 🖕

I cannot take this shit seriously.

I don't feel like reading the rest of it

Title: fuck typescript
1st line: well, actually I love typescript

Well, today I spent the whole day hunting a circular dependency that I introduced and was breaking the whole application.

Fuck me.

!rant

Whenever I open someone elses code, I do a project wide search for "FUCK".

Found many of these:

die("FUCK")
// fuck this
// #todo FUCK

Works on github as well. 😂🤣

WELL FUCK YOU REDDIT, I TRY NOT TO ADBLOCK YOU BUT NOW YOU START WITH THE AUTO PLAY ADS WITH NO WAY TO MUTE OR PAUSE THEM? FUCK YOU!

Ohhh Apple.... At this point you might as well change your logo to 🖕 with the motto, "Apple, coz FUCK YOU"

Ubuntu One decided I am a bot and won't let me log in. Well, fuck you! I don't need you anymore.

So apparently, when you wipe the empty space on your hard drive under windows it fucking deletes the grub from that disk as well.

Thank you CCleaner you can go fuck yourself!

That slow realization that you're hitting burnout due to the toxicity of those in non-technical roles above you is wild. Also, Jira, Scrum, Sprints and all the extra bullshit can fuck right off as well.

"Fuck this shit! I'm outta here!" - works very well with everything.

*sees a question on StackOverflow*
*posts an answer*
*is informed that answers from this account are no longer accepted because of poor past answers*
*???*
Well fuck you too, SO. :P

Many people on here have ranted about YouTube showing wix ads to people who are clearly web developers. Well after I didn't react to the ads YouTube now decided to show me the same fucking ad in Spanish. What the fuck Google why Spanish of all languages?

Why the FUCK can’t I deploy a cordova app to my phone from VS, god fucking damnit all, I hate mondays!
*30 minutes later*
Well shit, the USB cable was only connected to my phone, not my PC...
*sobs and goes to grab more coffee*

It's 2:10 AM on a Friday night.
Well played "cordova ionic".
.
.
.
Fuck you too :'(

Well... I accidently deleted a whole tables contents and the day just has started. Fuck this day already.

my passphrase was "dick"

Well go fuck yourself Quora! I can't even read my digest anymore!

Well, fucking great, the only sticker place that had the best quality stickers closed the marketplace. I was holding off from buying all the stickers I wanted for too long, fuck.

Well fuck you too Swift! Your mother is to complex to be solve in reasonable time!

A people person is only a people person to another people person. I fucking hate them. Most sales people I see don’t really have any skills per say. They think they do by claiming to be a people person. The entire sales community is like this. Fake as shit. They pay thousands to learn something that has been written in Medium or you could just Youtube. I think I can pretty much get the fact if you wanna make a video do well, you need a good title. They speak everything on the surface. And they claim to a be a layperson. Well, no. Fuck you. I not giving you an average. You are stupid as shit. They can’t write a proper fucking email. I have to go through kubernates and monads and they still make more money than devs via commission. They are too sober and fucking pretentious too. Fuck em fuck em fuck em.

Fuck me I forgot to eat (was too busy at work) and I lost my chance to eat anything from the cafeteria.

Oh well...vending machine it is.

Well uh fuck u play store.

Well, I'm still in 1981 Hell as far as serial connectivity goes, but we got boobs on the screen, because when we're working with DOS 5.00.2 BETA and 4 colors at a time, why the fuck not?

Yeah well fuck right off then. I'm just going to build a bot to auto signup for every possible username combination left in the latin alphabet. Then after the media bullshit dies down they'll be changing this policy.

👺

Stares idly at computer screen for 30 mins, while Hybris is initializing.

Me: Aight might as well break for lunch since this is taking so long.

Hybris init finishes.

Fuck.

I fucking hate the design and aesthetics of PC gaming hardware in general. Who the fuck do they design those things for, edgy teenagers? Give me something that looks well built and professional, damnit. Heck, most console designs are much better.

Well, the hackathon I was going to attend tomorrow just got postponed due to fucking Coronavirus concerns.
Fuck this shit.

Everyone who says: "Just rename your .js file to .ts and it's going to work instantly, no errors, don't need to rewrite anything. WELL FUCK YOU ALL! VS code says: 200 errors in a 100(!) line file.

Windows keeps uninstalling touchpad drivers after update and tells that i didn't need them, well touchpad is not working after uninstalling drivers you fuck.

Seriously, fuck Xcode up the ass with a hot poker. What a piece of shit. It can’t even handle graphics as well as MacDraw circa 1989

The fuck is wrong with android development?!
Every little shit app depends on Google-Services.
Oh you want this app that essentially just keeps track of your homework?
Well fuck you, because we decided to display a login-with-google popup at the start and now, the app won't run if you use an ungoogled ROM.

I recently fucked my pc up by installing the latest AMD drivers. Couldn't get past the lock screen.

I tried to revert to a restore point but, well, it failed and the installation would not boot at all afterwards.

Thanks a fuck ton, AMD and MS.

Its mine office setup, just a laptop and two pictures in which one is of UFO.. Well UFO means U Fuck Off..
Interesting part is..
Everyone comes at my desk and says "nice UFO".. They really don't know what does it means.. 😁

Oh so your deadline is Wednesday and you will travel on Thursday? Let's have a full day meeting on Monday... WELL FUCK YOU TOO!!!

Fuck this day in particular.
Also it's probably my fault.
Oh well...

First time doing web development for front end AND back end and I just want to say...

FUCK YOU YOU SHITTY ASS BOLLOCK DRIPPINGLY RETARDING CACHE, WHO YOU LOAD THINGS I NO WANT YOU TO LOAD...WHY THO?...

Well that was 2 hours of my life wasted....

Saying I am an Android developer is another way of letting people ask 'can you build something like WhatsApp?'
Well there is world beyond that! Grow up people. Just tired of listening this. Fuck off.

Linux on the 3DS is going well. Others have no issue at all, but I've gotta fix issues with the toolchain executables being named wrong, the provided, precompiled toolchain everyone else uses being the wrong one and being incompatible...

Fuck my life.

Me: Hmmm, tax time is coming up, might be a good time to finally get my new rig
ATO: You you have $4000 withheld tax money, how great!
Me: Fuck oath! spend $2500 on the PC and chuck the rest towards my house deposit
ATO: Yo that sounds great, well how about we keep 3000 and give you 1000? Sound cool? cool.
Me: ... Well... Guess no new rig then

Ok, let's actually try and work on my games Dev kit workspace functionality and not get side tracked with devRant... Oh fuck I'm on it right now... Well shit!

I think I browse through devRant at an unhealthy amount lol

Fuck you scp. I was uploading 6GB file to an EC2 server. Well, needless to say, "no space left on device" after all 6GB transferred was the biggest FUCK YOU moment. Seriously. Send the file size and check before you waste 30 minutes of my time. Oh, and don't read CLI command data as part of the transfer. You suck.

Okay, well, fuck you! Why would I wait 30 minutes? I'll just buy from Amazon, shithead.

Some people get ego boost when they get positions like team lead or manager for software development team. In a nutshell you don't know shit about programming how the fuck you became tech lead? You fucked up the entire project that you managed and now shifting blame on someone else. Well fuck you!

Nice try, 'influencer'

Now raiding your average trending social community?

Well FUCK OFF!

Fuck this piece of shit that calls itself a Macbook Pro. Bought myself a Mac in 2011 because I wanted something durable. Spent 2k € on it. Now its more annoying thany any Windows machine I ever had because I have this fucking GPU glitch that Keeps. Crashing. My. Machine. I cant work that way.
Yeah, already had it repaired. Didn't work. Use gfxCardStatus to keep it on integrated. Doesnt work. Well, I coud just buy a new one, couldn't I? Fuck Apple, fuck you.

No commits?!? Well, maybe you should fucking make up your mind about what the fuck you actually want! I don't give a flying fuck about your pathetic excuses. If you don't get me a final spec, then don't try to skin my back about not delivering updates and "not showing active progress"!!! FFS!

One of main reason why I use Google as a search engine.

Me: Heads - Then I'll not use it.
Me: Okay google, toss a coin

GA: Sure,.... it's a tails.

Well.... fuck.

Well look at me, high as fuck and drunk past reasoning fixing the production environment. Wish me luck.

Duplicate question
Too opinion based
Fuck you this is a dumb question

But if you actual got a question and give all the information that's needed nobody fucking responds
Yeah well fuck you StackOverflow
It's like they only want to bash people and not actually help

well, fuck... how about everything that works in visual studio but feels like garbage in VS Code???

don't get my wrong I use VS Code for every other language... but C# has just always felt better in visual studio than in VS Code. oh well

Fuck, fucking cock sucking stupid ass prick of a little black box, why, why the fuck do you not fucking boot any more, all you have to do is fucking boot but no, that's to much for you to fucking do!

Ah well, good thing it's only a Rpi!

It had a good life, now to wipe the card and start again! I

Found "hyper" in the "built with" section of electron.
me: hey, that looks cool
*downloads hyper*
*opens hyper.app*
me: well... fuck this then
hyper:

!dev

Well fuck you Epic Games and Deep Silver!
I was really interested in getting Metro Exodus, but I'm not gonna install that shitty Epic Store!
Fuck off!

Well done Microsoft

You’ve transformed a product MS Excel from something great into something unusable ..endlessly over designing it with needless fucking icons everywhere…

Just leave it THE FUCK ALONE from 2007

Fucking fuck fuck fuck outdated superiors that know jack shit about how software development works. Dnt even know about git, docker, cloud services. Everything is done on premise with network that is fucking crap and when an app is down "hey why is it down?" ask the fucking server and network admin how the fuck am i supossed to know? i have to create workaround codes when other devs just need to deploy their app and its fucking running as it should be. why the fuck do i need to spend my time debugging Ping timeouts? im a fucking dev. I have done designs, analyze requirements, build frontend, backend, optimize codes, paying attention to security and now i have to fix network problems as well? fuck off

Create Innovation my fucking arse. you just Keep saying that but then wondering "what is this new thing youre trying? its new and different why do that?" because you asked for innovation you fuck. If i copied some other concept its not innovation is it pricks.

Fuck them and all the brown nosers as well.

So this night, I dreamt that my devRant stickers arrived.

Well fuck they didn't lay on my desk when I woke up.

Why is reality like this.

Want me to install and fuck around with windows? Might as well press and drag my balls across sandpaper

PO: "Hurry the fuck up!"
me: "Well I'm sorry but no amount of wanting will speed up development. Development is complicated. Understand that".

Non-techies are super irritating.

When you live in a hell hole of a state, you need to use "tor" in order to access dangerous web sites from the dark web such as "medium.com".

I'd like to also take the opportunity to say fuck medium as well.

Spent hours fixing my homework using arrays, when re-reading the exercise I found out I was supposed to use vectors. Well fuck me!

CAN NODEJS KINDLY GO FUCK ITSELF?

well maybe not node itself, but those node js so-called "professional node developers"

WHO THE FUCK thought it was a good idea to pass about EVERY SINGLE ARGUMENT as a global variable so absolutely no code insights are available, eslint with THEIR eslintrc shows ABOUT ONE MILLION DIFFERENT LINTER WARNING and on top they commited the node_modules folder

-_-

I'm out.

Why is school such a bullfuck, we've learned SQL basics and I've used SQL a little so I thought I won't have a problem. WELL FUCKING HELL WAS I WRONG. Joining 4 tables together with inner join WTF who the fuck uses that, why the fuck do I need to know this, WHY THE FUCK IN A TEST WHEN WE HAVEN'T LEARNED SUCH BULLSHIT. Well how about adding a foreign key to a table that doesnt need one. Well ok have fun with a key that does absolutely nothing and on top of all those convoluted tasks the texts are a mess, they give unnecessary information with grammar of a 9 year old and the pictures are not even readable. They are fucking hieroglyphs.
Fuck school.
Gonna do it by myself at the end anyway.
Fuck everything.

Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!

+ Have a decent work in another country
+ Married (not kids yet)
+ Get my PhD in something

Future me, if you succeed, you owe me a fucking lot! Otherwise, well, fuck past me!

Are YouTube devs on crack? I watch videos in 240p to save data, and then I get those full hd crap ads. Why the fuck isn't the shitty advertisements in 240p as well?

Fuck you Chrome Canary. You tell me to update and then keep crashing.

Well admittedly it is Canary :o

If I got a dollar for each time I did well in an online contest, I would be poor as fuck.
like very intense fuck.

well, fuck

FUCK YOU NODE JS AND FUCL YOU SYNOLOGY

Decided to give an old Synology DiskStation that sits at home slme new life besides just sharing files. Since Synology has SSH but not a full Linux OS, installed DebianChroot (so far so good). At one point I needed Node JS, so installed NVM and tried to install Node. Well guess what didn't work. Tried a few more things including directly downlosding node from the official node website. Trying different versions, the whole drill.

After about 5 hours of installing and errors, well really usfull errors like "There where 2 errors during installation" WELL HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE ERROR IS YOU FUCKING FUCK!

I found a formum wkith a guy haveing similar problems. Able to install legacy 0.10.x versions but not 4.x.x. Or 6.x.x oder whatever. He found that you have to have at least an ARMv6 compatible processor, otherwise it won't run. Checked it and well, that old fuck of mine only has ARMv5. FUCK! But honestly. You detect it's an ARM architecture. You detect it's not one of the v6 or v7, you try to install the general arm version, BUT YOU DON'T GET THE FUCKING IDEA TO MENTION TO CHECK WAHAT VERSION YOU HAVE AND IF THAT IS SUPORTED BY FUCKING NODE!

One afternoon wasted, at least I got a little more wisdom. Fuck do I hate Node now. On the bright side, I've ordered a Raspberry Pi and two cases for Harddisks, I'll create my own diskstation with blackjack and hookers (I realy hope you get that reference)! Fuck you Synology and Node JS (yeah yeah, it's not Synologies fault, but I'm mad anyways!)

just woke up in the middle of the night dreaming of merging some branches after working a 16 hour shift straight because my company is too fucking broke to hire another freakin' dev...

well fuck it who needs sleep at all! let's get some coffee...

They ask me, why do you hate Python? Well, maybe because I prefer fucking warnings and no fucking exit the program after 2 hours of computation if the parameter is unexpected. Fuck off

Products team just hit me up with random requirements straight out of their ass. They know very well my entire team is wrapped up building a new app. Now I respond with random mêmes. Fuck you.

Been sitting in this Chair for Well over 5 hours now trying to setup virtualization on this Debian Server.

EVERYTHING IS FUCKING OUTDATED.
NO PROPER DOCS.
NO NOTHING.

FUCK THIS IM GOING TO SLEP

Me: Alright, new week, back from vacation fully rested and focused, lets get productive.

Apple(safari 10.3 update): Fuck you.

Basically the change log was:
*fixed critical security bug.
*added more bugs to fix later.

Well fuck you too safari... You disgust me.

The least the fucking imbeciles, or monkeys, behind safari can do is add a fucking css prefix. For fucks sake.

"upload the report. We won't asses the code without that"

... Well fuck you too.

Why does XCode take like 10 minutes to show or clear a syntax error? It doesn’t help that the language itself is verbose as fuck as well with its ever-changing method names and sometimes optional parameter labels with each version of the language

You told the design team this won't work on a large scale
Design team: Well we designed it, so, fuck you !
You: Does the implementation...
End Product: * Doesn't work *

Design Team: Why isn't it working, suggest a workaround

* Facepalm *
* Dead Inside *
* Give me Death Note plox *

well fuck seems my laptop charger broke

Chrome 63 forces .dev domains to HTTPS via preloaded HSTS.

Well, FUCK YOU google. Why do you even give a shit of my local proxy.

Me: not even using typescript (even disabled everywhere), living a happy life.......

VS Code: TS ERROR....TS ERROR... TS HINT....

Well, fuck you too Microsoft.

Me (new position): Hey, can I run this locally?

Other dev: No, it can only run through CI.

Me (exploring): Oh, I see. CI -> Docker -> Makefile -> Ansible -> Packer -> Terraform -> new EC2 image -> new EC2 host -> command.

Well fuck. That's not going to work locally.

So decided to take a step back and build an interpreter for a custom version of BASIC for the cosmos kernel and a way to learn python but can we just take a moment to admire how BASIC is designed...

It is such a well designed, open and malleable language to design for specific needs...

Except visual basic, fuck visual basic, fuck it with a rake...

Atlassian bitbucket you sad sorry piece of shit. I can see an old coworker's PR in the list but you won't accept it as a valid search target under the author searchbox, but even older ex-employees are searchable. What the flying fuck, go out of business.

And fuck you for JIRA as well.

Well fuck me sideways and call me Suse

We are moving from Oracle 10g to SQL Server 2019 because Oracle doesn't want to provide support to our legacy 10g database.

It doesn't much sense well anyways god bless us during data migration.

Oh one last thing, fuck business analyst team.

"We have updated our ... "
Well, guess what, nobody gives a fuck!
#noFucksGiven

My leader was yelling at me cause i couldn't relate two tables, the first has a decimal(15,5) PK and the second has char(20) as a FK.

WELL TELL ME HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I RELATE THEM YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT ??

Decimal !!! I could not believe my fucking eyes ! And Fuck keeping the clients satisfied!

Well, sorry, i just wanted to let it out.

Dude. Listen.
The deployment didn't go 100% well, fine. The main menu got fucked up, fine.

But no one gives a fuck when you send an 15 words long email to 6 persons just whining about the fact that no delivery go well on the first try.

Learn to shut the fuck up sometimes.

This week can be summed up as "well fuck".

Well fuck. This laptop was nice, then the hinges decided to remove themselves from the mount points. Also a metal side rail mananaged break as well...

Anyone have good suggestions for laptops? Prefer machines with a distro of Linux on it, but not afraid to install

fuck!

When your hard drive crashes, and the most annoying thing you forgot to save is the color/syntax theme on your favourite editor.

(I'm canadian... favourite, not favorite, shutup red squiggly)

fuck!

45 minutes scrolling between color schemes in sublme.. none of them seem right.

Maybe it's monokai? I think...
or was it oceanic

FUCk!

oh well at least it looks like I'm working.

Why the fuck are still so many people using winrar? I'm not using it for well over a decade!

Trying to put together all the code of my ajax request into a function so I do not repeat myself. The code works perfectly outside but not in the function. Well fuck JavaScript. I've been stuck here for two days.

Why the fuck does windows use 100MB for the efi partition? Like oh hey I will exactly allocate enough space for me. Oh you want ArchLinux and NixOs too? Well fuck you have fun dangouresly moving around partition just to increase the fucking size of the efi partition I just allocated at install-time without ever asking you about it.

My tablet that I had all my code for an app just took a shit out of no where it was never dropped not even a scratch it just went black and well never went back fuck my entire existence

Me: "But what if I fuck it up?"
Him: "Well, don't fuck it up".

When asking about what the user should do next in case they make a mistake and wanted to correct it.

It was a turning point in my dev life.

Ok...
FUCK ASUS
...
FUCK THEM...
PREBUILD PC? YEAH... BROKE AFTER A FUCKING YEAR... AN ASSFUCKED YEAR! HOW COULD SOMEONE BUILD SUCH A SHIT OF A MACHINE...
Oh well... saved the grafics card, HDD and SSD... time to get new Parts and build a custom one myself...
FUCK YEAH!
Warranty you say? No i tell you...

Finally. Fuck the exams (eventhough they went quite well). At last I can start work on my scripting language

!rant; story(well, kinda)

I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");

Well, fuck

Want to do an AJAX request in IE9? Well fuck you then!

Well fuck you then

What the Fuck!!!!!
Within next 3 days my Release date was set. I was to join a new company. My current fucking manager screwed things by postponing my release date because the new replacement they hired had not totally understood the project. Well, who the fuck told you to hire literally few days away from my release. My manager expects that the new resource learn everything I know. Fuck off man, I cannot spoon feed a person on everything.

For the past one week I have been getting late for work due to this fucking traffic. This shit sucks. And I am stuck solving shitty bugs in a fuckghetti code. I feel burnt out as fuck and now I have to work Saturday as well.

Well fuck me in all holes.

MangaRock is shutting down.

I know piracy sucks but fuck. ☹️