Ranted about that porn work prank.

Forgot a joke the senior linux engineer pulled with me.

I came back from the toilet and sat down. Logged in. Cursor was on the left screen. Looked away and then back. Cursor was on the right screen.

*wait what? hmm must be my memory.*
*looks away and turns back*
*wait did that cursor just move.....?*
*damn what's up with me...?!?*
*turns around and looks back VERY quickly*
*cursor moves all over the screen*

*looks at front usb inputs*
*notices a wireless receiver*

*laughing from the corner where the senior linux engineer is sitting*

MOTHERFUCKER.

*code doesn't work*

-Run three times, just to be sure
-Its NOT the code, must be the project. Full rebuild.
-Run a few more times after rebuild didn't fix it.
-Google the issue.
-Stackoverflow must be wrong. The code is JUST like their solution.
-Run a few more times, but with your lucky underpants
-Reboot. Must be an operating system thing.
-Tea break. Give the issue time and it will fix itself.
-Run a few more times. Still unfixed
-Contact customer support.
-Walmart said they can't help.
-Consider writing your own language without this OBVIOUS flaw
-Kickstarter for c++++
-Raise $50,000
-Start a family
-Contact customer support again
-Run a few more times
-Now banned from Walmart
-Oh shit, missing a semicolon

!n case someone is unfamiliar with this joke ::

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.

Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.

Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---

Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...

Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...

There should be a communist programming language.

- There are no classes.
- There is no inheritance.
- All code is executed simultaneously, since it's equal.
- All variables are global, since everything belongs to everyone
- There are no private functions
- Every function must have side effects, for the 'greater good'
- As soon as it is written, you no longer own the code
- Instead the code owns you
- And your machine

I slowly get why this thing didn't work out on society either.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

"Aah, time to make a new Android app"
*starts Android Studio*
AS: "Yo yo yo, before you proceed, update all these 512 things in your SDK"
*creates a new Activity*
AS: "Nuh uh, this shit won't work without this, install it"
*runs app on emulator*
AS: "Hoooold your horses, you need to install this, and this, and update this and this.. oh and also that"
*emulator finally runs, app crashes*
AS: "Ohh, ha ha, oopsies, your Gradle config is also screwed up, change every dependency to the newest version and then update them all"
*config finally done, runs again*
AS: "Umm, I am too lazy to sync it myself, so you must press the nice big button on top to sync it"
"Fuck this"
*closes Android Studio*
AS: "WAAAIT WAIT, before you go, a new Android update just showed up, you must upd..."
*alt+f4*

A Java Development vacancy I came across today:

Requirements:

Must:

° Appropriate Education
° Work Experience with Java/Javascript knowledge, at least 2 years, good understanding of OOP, patterns
° Experience with Spring, NoSQL(MongoDB)

Preferably:

° Experience with Tomcat/Jboss/Glassfish
° JDBC, JSF, JSP, JSTL, Angular, ExtJS
° HTML5, CSS3, XML, Jquery, Bootstrap, Primefaces
° Hibernate
° Git/SVN

Objective:

° Implementation of specific requirements
° Cooperation with business analytics and clarification of reuirements
° Participation in the development of application architecture and technology selection

Who are they hiring?

Dating? Like.. Unix timestamps? That must be what you mean.

Yes they work great. A+++

The Top 20 replies by programmers when their programs do not work:

20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. "You must have the wrong version."
11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
10. "I can't test everything!"
9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."
7. "Somebody must have changed my code."
6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
4. "You can't use that version on your system."
3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"

And the Number One reply by programmers when their programs don't work:

1. "It works on my machine."

string excuses[]={
"it's not a bug it's a feature",
"it worked on my machine",
"i tested it and it worked",
"its production ready",
"your browser must be caching the old content",
"that error means it was successful",
"the client fucked it up",
"the systems crashed and the code got lost" ,
"this code wont go into the final version",
"It's a compiler issue",
"it's only a minor issue",
"this will take two weeks max",
"my code is flawless must be someone else's mistake",
"it worked a minute ago",
"that was not in the original specification",
"i will fix this",
"I was told to stop working on that when something important came up",
"You must have the wrong version",
"that's way beyond my pay grade",
"that's just an unlucky coincidence",
"i saw the new guy screw around with the systems",
"our servers must've been hacked",
"i wasn't given enough time",
"its the designers fault",
"it probably won't happen again",
"your expectations were unrealistic",
"everything's great on my end",
"that's not my code",
"it's a hardware problem",
"it's a firewall issue",
"it's a character encoding issue",
"a third party API isn't responding",
"that was only supposed to be a placeholder",
"The third party documentation is wrong",
"that was just a temporary fix.",
"We outsourced that months ago.","
"that value is only wrong half of the time.",
"the person responsible for that does not work here anymore",
"That was literally a one in a million error",
"our servers couldn't handle the traffic the app was receiving",
"your machines processors must be too slow",
"your pc is too outdated",
"that is a known issue with the programming language",
"it would take too much time and resources to rebuild from scratch",
"this is historically grown",
"users will hardly notice that",
"i will fix it" };

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

To be a good developer, you must thrive in chaos, and have an insatiable desire to turn it into order.

All user input, both work tasks and actual application input, is pure fucking chaos.

The only way to turn that input into anything usable, is to interpret, structure and categorize it, to describe the rules for transformation as adequately as you can.

Sometimes companies create semi-helpful roles to assist you with this process. Often, these people are so unaware of the delicacy of the existing chaos, that any decision they make just ripples out in waves leaving nearly irreparable confusion and destruction in its path.

So applications themselves also slowly wear down into chaos under pressure of chaotic steak-holders which never seem to be able to choose between peppercorn or bernaise sauce for their steaks.

Features are added, data is migrated between formats, rules become unclear. Is ketchup even fucking valid, as a steak sauce?

The only way to preserve an application long term, is refactoring chaos into order.

But... the ocean of chaos will never end.

You must learn to swim in it.

All you can hope to do is create little pools of clarity where new creative ideas can freely spawn.

Ideas which will no doubt end up polluting their own environment, but that's a problem for tomorrow.

So you must learn to deal with the infinite stream of perplexed reactions from those who can't attach screenshots to issue reports.

You must deflect dragging conversations from those who never quite manage to translate gut feeling into rational sentences.

You must learn to deal with the fact that in reality there are no true microservice backends. There are no clean React frontends. There are no normalized databases. Full test coverage, well-executed retrospectives, finished sprints -- they are all as real as spherical cows in a vacuum.

There is no such thing as clean code.

There is only "relatively cleaner code", and even then there are arguments as to why it would be "subjectively relatively cleaner code".

Every repository, every product, every team and every company is an amalgamation of half-implemented ideals, well-intended tug of war games, and brilliantly shattered dreams.

You will encounter fragmented shards of perfect APIs, miles of tangled barbed documentation, beheaded validator classes, bloody mangled corpses of analytical dashboards, crumbled concrete databases.

You must be able to breathe in those thick toxic clouds of rotting technical and procedural debt, look at your reflection in the locker room mirror while you struggle yourself into a hazmat suit, and think:

"Fuck yes, I was born for this job".

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology,"says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.

"It must work in IE6, we still use it in our offices."
While developing a JavaScript web app for a bank with 10 000+ employees. In 2014.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. ♨💨🎈

He reduces height and spots a man down below.

He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says:

"Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"

"Well", says the man “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology,"says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Guys google have made a revolutionary discovery, it's going to change smartphones for the better!!!!

(Yes must clarify this is immense amounts of sarcasm because fucking hell google you would think you have all this money that you could work this fucking shit out...)

I got fired.

Worst job I ever had, they extended my probation period, called me "over maintenance", said my work was good but not good enough for the effort, If I take a lot of care doing my work then it's "over preparation", if not good enough then it's "not detailed enough", I don't ask enough questions? I must be unmotivated, I ask too many? I take up too much of other people's time.

Fuck them all. I hope they get a taste of their own medicine.

Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :

Fuck you, you sons of a cunt

No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.

No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means

And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit

If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker

Fuck y'all

When your boss asks for a web application that has drag and drop, resize, popup, fade inand out, dynamic styling and mobile compatibility but must work on IE8
You feel like:
Mission: Go to the moon
Tools: Broom's stick
Yeah i'll just pretend to be a witch and fly away

09:00 : 8 hours of sleep is perfect. I'll sleep at 10.

10:00 : Ah, I am still young, I don't that much sleep yet. 7 hours should do.

11:00 : 6 hour is the limit. I must sleep at least 6 hours to work properly tomorrow.

12:00 : Aw, fuck this :(

Next day at work: 10 cups of coffee

Contrary to most people I really love to receive email related to jobs when I'm in holiday. I keep important alerts on.

It's like:
email: ***urgent, server down***
me (sipping mojito by the pool): fuck them. let's them deal with that
email: ***requirements all wrong, must develop the feature again***
me (enjoying a dinner): oh, I told them 100 times!, fuck all of them, work for me now, stupid moron.
email: I destroyed by mistake the db with an update..."
me (dancing like crazy): ahahaha I told you that support guys should not have access to production db, fuckfuck you, fix it yourself!!!

and so on..... I don't know, it just boost my pleasure during holiday.

Germany

It's:
"oh cool. you must have good job perspectives."

Or:
"you just use a computer. that's not real work. do a job where you use your muscles. lazy student."

And the best:
"Can you gift me with computer parts for free" or "can you copy program XY for me? It cost to much."

In this case the person who quit was me.
Agency didn't pay the past 4 months, we asked at least the reimbursment of expences.
They told in a 2 hour arrogant speech that we must thanks them becouse they make us work even if they aren't paying. They said that "in this period these are the rules and we must accept this condition." So, I stand up, I went to shake the hand of the boss and others, I went to the door saying "good luck".
All the coworkers stand up and applauded.
Two months later the agency was closed declaring failure.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

To celebrate Quantum release, let's share your must have add-ons for your browser(s).

Mine :
- bitwarden,
- ublock origin,
- jsonovich,
- feedbro
- rested
- error indicator
That's all.

Screenshot and pocket are already included with Firefox and work great. Chrome needs extensions for those though. I used to have disconnect and ghostry in past.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

My boss last week backed me up with a client. I was working in a production enviorment and the client refused to test the changes made when I told them. So we things started to go wrong and they called to my boss complaning.

He said:
Well you are right. The things are broken but he (me) stayed last night waiting for your response and you didn't gave one. So he is going to work only in the afternoon and you will have to wait.

I must buy a beer for my boss.

!security

(Less a rant; more just annoyance)

The codebase at work has a public-facing admin login page. It isn't linked anywhere, so you must know the url to log in. It doesn't rate-limit you, or prevent attempts after `n` failures.

The passwords aren't stored in cleartext, thankfully. But reality isn't too much better: they're salted with an arbitrary string and MD5'd. The salt is pretty easy to guess. It's literally the company name + "Admin" 🙄

Admin passwords are also stored (hashed) in the seeds.rb file; fortunately on a private repo. (Depressingly, the database creds are stored in plain text in their own config file, but that's another project for another day.)

I'm going to rip out all of the authentication cruft and replace it with a proper bcrypt approach, temporary lockouts, rate limiting, and maybe with some clientside hashing, too, for added transport security.

But it's friday, so I must unfortunately wait. :<

Winter break is next week and I don't know what to do...

I have an exciting programming project I want to work on!

Buuuut, I also have this 1,500 page book I want to read!

Buuuuuuut, my manuscript still needs some work! I want to work on it as well.

If I do all three, I won't get to finish anything, so only one task during break.

Three of my favorite things... Why must choices be so difficult?

Also, the picture is the 1K page book I bought. :) It's beautiful!

!rant
I must be dreaming .... Honestly! I am with a client that knows what he wants and has no problem to express it in clear words. They understand my tech talk and talk back in tech as well. We are on the same page regarding best practises. They envy my work and have really good ideas and express constructive criticism. What is going on here? I must be in a parallel universe or something?
Okay, one downside... Coffee is not free but a cup is 20ct, which is quite alright imho anyway. Oh, the even bigger downside... Things have been so constructive that my time there is almost over since shit got actually done in the most efficient way ever!

I have been told that post lockdown, I must commute hours each day to the office in London. This really makes sense, considering that my reports are not in London, but based in India. The product owner is in India. My line manager and his manager are in the USA. There's no one in London I work with.

Hands up, who actually uses this shit?

Seriously, this is one of the most innovative apps I've used in the past year. The developer must be having fun torturing hundreds of people every day. But fuck this shit, it works (and most alarm clocks didn't work for me)

Worst advice?
That must have been that time my boss asked me how to restart rsyslog (Windowsguy and I was on vacation)
- "just do rm -r /var/log haha"
And ONE SECOND LATER I SENT THIS
- "haha jk dont"
Waiting a minute and I get this:
- "well that did not work"

Damnit

TFW your client's git policies are so draconian that the dev teams use "develop" as trunk, and completely ignore the release process.

I wrote up 50 pages of git standards, documentation and procedure for a client. Bad indian director 9000 decides the admin (also Indian) who specializes in Clearcase and has no git or development experience is more qualified to decide and let's him set the policy.

FF to today:

- documentation, mostly contradictory, is copy pasted from the atlassian wiki
- source tree is the standard
- no force pushing of any branches, including work branches
- no ff-merge
- no rebasing allowed
- no ssh, because he couldn't figure it out...errr it's "insecure"
- all repos have random abbreviated names that are unintelligible
- gitflow, but with pull requests and no trust
- only project managers can delete a branch
- long lived feature branches
- only projects managers can conduct code reviews
- hotfixes must be based off develop
- hotfixes must go in the normal release cycle
- releases involve creating a ticket to have an admin create a release branch from your branch, creating a second ticket to stage the PR, a third ticket to review the PR (because only admins can approve release PRs), and a fourth ticket to merge it in
- rollbacks require director signoff
- at the end of each project the repo must be handed to the admin on a burned CD for "archiving"

And so no one actually uses the official release process, and just does releases out of dev. If you're wondering if IBM sucks, the answer is more than you can possibly imagine.

Been a while since my last real proper rant.

Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.

We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.

We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.

Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.

Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.

Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.

DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.

As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.

Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.

DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.

!warning could be longer.
I must something let go:
Im now 24 ,my life was not easy .
I got bullied all the time in school from 1 to 10 degree. I had a dream since i was 6:"no i dont wanna be a police man, fire fighter, astronaut....i want to be a programmer "..
My father did me to make an apprenticeship with Volkswagen after i finished my "middle school" (10th class);
2 years of mobbing and be sad i leaved that motherfucking "-aship"
After a while my father again wanted to ,i must to an "-aship" .yeah hes been right, but i dont want to do and work like you do!!!.. then again after "fighting" my dad (parents), i was reliant to social help for a year..
(U must know,my dream was always in my mind)
I met a girl in a different federal state in germany and moved up to her.
I worked as a daywage man to get us money.
1 year was over and then i found out the apprenticeship as web and mobile developer (computer scientist) . I applied for this an got a place.
Now my fucking dream comes true in a few months!
Just wanna say that you never should give up your interests or dreams, doesnt matter how old you are!!!!
My journey begins 2017 and yours?:))))

Manager: We will be building a new app. THIS TIME EVERYTHING MUST BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, ANYTHING LESS THAN TOP QUALITY WORK WILL BE REJECTED!!

*Not even 2 days into the new project*

Manager: Ok that’s good enough, we can fix it later. Can you go quicker on the next feature? Just sacrifice a bit of quality so we get these tickets closed as fast as possible. I said we can fix it later. Getting tickets closed asap is top priority.

Dev: …

-Look at super hacky code for 30 minutes
-Ask yourself, how did this ever work, guy must have been an idiot
-Check annotations, you committed it
-"Dear God past self, what have you done..."

A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).

I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.

I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.

As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.

Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.

Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.

@dfox & @trogus
Just finished reading your app update and I must say that I'm very impressed with the number of changes that have come out in the past six or so weeks. Good job guys and keep up the good work!

PS an autocomplete '@' mention feature would be really helpful.

With much help from a friend here (an unofficially related app, so I'm unsure of username here), I successfully dual booted my laptop to Arch Linux.

Tried Debian, but must have missed something, because it tried to format my whole SSD, which isn't good since my work software only works in windows.

Going to be a change, but I'm kind of excited. To the friend who helped me, I appreciate you and how late you stayed up to help me troubleshoot ❤

If you need to learn/teach object orientation, these are my approaches (I hate that classic "car" example):

1) Keep in mind games like Warcraft, Starcraft, Civilization, Age of Empires (yes, I am old school). They are a good example of having classes to use, instantiating objects (creatures) and putting them to work together. As in a real system.

2) Think of your program as an office that has a job to do, or a factory that has something to deliver. Classes are the roles/jobs and objects are the workers/employees. They don't need to be complex, but their purpose must be really (really, really) well defined. Just like in a real office / factory.

3) Even better (or crazier), see your classes and objects as real beings, digital creatures in a abstract world, and yourself as a kind of god, who creates species (define classes) with wisdom. Give life when it is the time for them to come into the world (instantiate object) and kill them when they are done with their mission (dispose an object). Give them behavior, logic, conditions to work with, situations where they take action, and when they don't. Make them kinda "smart". Build them able to make decisions and take actions based on conditions. Give them life. Think on your program as an ecossystem. There must be balance, connection, species must be well defined and creatures must work together to achieve a common objective. Don't just throw code and pray for it to run. Plan it.

-----

When I talk about my classes like they are real beings, and programs as mini-worlds, some people say I am crazy, some others say that's passion.

It is both! @__@

I feel bad for the coders who work for cia developing those spywares.

They have to live with the fact that they / their dear ones will also be a victim of the tool they created.

Imagine living with that fact... must be depressing.

True that... Even I got the impression that installing Arch must be a great feat of work... But Nah! It's pretty moderate!

HR Requirements:
- Must have an active social life with hobbies and interests outside work.
Dev Requirements
- Must have an active GIT hub profile to the point that you couldn't possibly have a social life

Everytime I look at an open source project code, I realize how bad I am and that I must work harder in order to take part in such amazing projects.

I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS BUY NEW STUFF WHEN THEIR OLD THINGS WORK PERFECTLY FINE!
FFS PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT NOWADAYS! I MEAN, FIRST THEYRE LIKE, oh we need to save the planet bla bla.... THEN THEIR LIKE!
OMFG! NEW IPHONE X WOLOLO MUST HAVE! OMG MY OLD PHONE IS WORKING PERFECTLY FINE BUT ITS THE NEW IPHONE OMG!
I MEAN! COME FUCKING ON! WHAT IDIOTS! IF ITS WORKING, KEEP IT!
#NoHomo

Figured out a problem on the bus to work. Must get to the office before I forget!!!😀

Find a place where management is able to handle some criticism.

I personally think Agile/Scrum is holy, and I don't mean "yeah we kind of do our own version of it", no, fucking do it by the book. The PM shouldn't assign estimates. Developers shouldn't receive bugfix requests from anyone other than the scrum master. The CTO can't be your scrum master... etc.

If a company can't answer the question "What were the points of feedback during the last retrospective(s), and how are those points being picked up?" -- Don't work there.

Many other things are optional in my opinion. I could work at a company without QA, without fruit baskets, table tennis, without Friday drinks. I could even live without git & continuous integration, just emailing patches to a patch integrator. I don't care.

But maintaining a safe bubble of serenity and sanity for devs to do their work in, that is an absolute must.

Also, option to WFH as much as wanted. Offices are nice for social bonding, but they kill productivity for me.

i got high praise for my work today, and i can't understand why 😂
i consider my work average at best, but my boss told me everyone sings my praises behind my back. i wonder how dire things must be that this is considered excellent

The one who said "Code should comment itself" must not have used assembly.

I literally wrote this 30 seconds ago and I can't work out what it does now...

So I just found out that my colleague who I often have to work with does not use a debugger to troubleshoot any bugs at all. Actually, he does not even run or test his code locally either with prints or something similar. He just commits java code directly on bitbucket, no source control, without making sure it compiles and then he runs a CI provided by devops that takes 4 freaking hours to run because he bloated that shit up somehow.

I suggested politely to help him find a more efficient approach and to use my hardware setups for speeding up his work because I assume it must be pretty painful to work with, but he just refused.

That and those "seniors" with 10 years Linux development XP in the embedded field who don't know basic commands like ls, cat and touch and code in notepad.

Fucking me, who the hell am I working with and can someone please end me?

Interviewer: "Ok we are searching for a fucking god of the code, if you have a week for work on a new project you must end within 3 days and work on other stuff! And for contract maybe a stage can be a good solution, we can't pay very much, but you must work like a machine and you'll love it cause here we have lots of project!"
Me: "I'm not interested."
Interviewer: "W..what?? Why?? Is there something wrong??"

Everytime a cunt like this ask to a developer to work for him, somewhere in the world a browser crashes

Client: Don't be afraid to charge us as it is must, we know your work is very valuable.

Me: Ok... *delivers the price*

Client: mmmmm... we thought it might be cheaper 😰

Me: 😒

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

Finally D-Booted Ubuntu on my home computer.
Now I'm just waiting for the frantic texts from my wife during the work week telling me "I hate this new system, get it off our computer."
WOMAN!
You must learn CLI. It is the only way to inner peace.

When you read those job ads "Must be able to work well under pressure and to tight deadlines in a busy office etc.."
Who would willingly walk in to such a shitty role. Perhaps if they fired the management things would improve.

Job ad: Must have large amount of experience working in a completely unstructured environment, be hyper innovative and be willing to work HARD and have a PRODUCT MINDSET!

Translation: Management doesn’t know what they want and even if they did they are completely incompetent at communicating what that is. You will be accountable for reading their minds and coming up with something that makes them look good. This task is impossible so you are expected to sacrifice every spare second of your life in vain pretending it is possible. If you do somehow achieve it you will not be given any credit due to your “product mindset”.

Fuck! I gotta bring snacks to work i guess. I get hungry by 2 hrs into work and stomach starts to make those weird sounds.

My coworker must be thinking I'm farting... :/

Technically it's farting but its just inside stomach fart.... Hope she wont misunderstand.

Elon Musk: you dont need a college degree, you dont even need highscho look, if you have the required knowledge, you can work anywhere

Tesla job requirements: must have at least BSc college degree

Dear cursee,

It's Monday. It's already the middle of first month of 2019. There are clients expecting and waiting to see the finished projects. There are tasks with warning and delayed labeled on your boards. You have slept well. Ate well. Drank well. Only remaining thing left is to work and finish your tasks well.

You can do it. And you must.

Cheers,
cursee

The fact that this week's rant topic exists is the exact reason I never do freelance work. It always ends in horror.

I don't believe good fullstack devs exist. A good junior will assess their talents/passions and specialize to become a senior. They'll keep checking the rest of the market from the corners of their eyes and start moving when necessary. But eventually, focus and specialization is a must.

If that's true for the field of development... why would I invest time in marketing, support, sales, PR, legal?

Maybe you can earn a bit more gross income in freelance work — but I see my employer as a service provider, I "hire" them so I don't have to manage phone calls, lose sleep over court cases, play product owner or worry about getting paid.

“This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

^^ this couldn't come more handy..

It's thursday, my computer didn't auto reboot due to updates (yaaay) but VS decided to kill my keyboard shortcuts nevertheless... :\

FU VS!!
Wen't to check, it's actually still there (written) ok..

Me: Why won't you work?!
VS: Not tellin..
Me: Dafaq?! Ok, I'll delete you and reset..
VS: Nope, you won't!
Me: Why don't you allow the same shortcut to be assigned?! Why is nothing getting typed in?!
VS: Dunno, to piss you off maybe?
Me: What's wrong with you?!
VS: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Alarm Levels on my phone:

Level 1: 06:00 it's the right time to wake up, take a shower and breakfast.

Level 2: 07:00 ok it is the normal time to wake up..

Level 3: 07:30 you must wake up to go to work in time.

Level 4: 07:45 you're already late you lazy ass

Level 5: 08:00 you're already late.

Level 6: 09:00 just checking you're alive

So today I decided to change the passwords on some online accounts...

Sony: "Don't use the same symbol twice in a row. Oh, and how about 4 reset emails because the first 3 times it won't work?"

Me: "Okay, this password meets all requirements"

Sony: "I don't believe you lol."

Twitch: "Error: Your password length must be between 8 and 40 symbols!"

Me: "But mine has 24 symbols and the password field shows a green checkbox"

Twitch: "Error: Your password length must be between 8 and 40 symbols!"

Aaaargh! Did they hire toddlers as interns or something?

Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...

I manage a team of engineers.

Toxic Culture Post #2:

Manager: Everybody on your team needs their own swimlane in Jira. Each person's work should be their own lane. When I have a ticket for <Project A> I want to make sure that <Bob> always gets it, all tickets for <Project B> must go to <James>. You'll need to figure out which team member will handle <New Project C> and create their personal swim lane.

Me: That's not really how SCRUM works. Actually, that's not how teamwork works. You're creating silos and we all need to learn how to do these tasks. We're a cross-functional team, and each team member brings their own unique talents to the whole process.

Manager: So you'll create the swimlanes?

Me: No

Manager (to Bob): You'll be devoted to <Project A> from now own. It's the only work I expect you to do. All work for that project will be yours.

Likewise, my manager also reached out to each team member and assigned them specific tasks, furthering the silos.

Creative dev compliments? Wow, that shows what type of person I am. I only know creative dev insults. Okay let me give it a go!

Wow, I'm gonna star that on GitHub!

Good work! I'm gonna put a shortcut to that right here on my desktop (in the same tone as "I'm gonna hang that on the fridge")

You're so meticulous that the unit tests are to make sure the computer works correctly, not your code.

If you were a web server, you'd always return 200/OK.

Your parents must have compiled you with -Ofast

CTO: Research, problem analysis, customer need validations, and data based prioritisation is stupid.

Me: So, then why should we solve this problem?

CTO: Because my team invests a lot of time in here (read "because we build a shitty system in past without thinking and we are doing it again").

Me: I don't see this as a good idea.

CTO: I become emotional when I request product to align and they don't. We must solve this problem and not what customers want.

Me: I am not participating here.

CTO: And I want you to work on weekends to support my team.

Me: *disconnects*

My manager from Germany says, "We have a saying in Germany. If you buy cheap, you buy twice. We must adapt it as, If you deliver fast, you must deliver twice". Scenario, faulty code delivery without checking the need of adoption work items.

This is a shit post:

Once upon a time, I went to work.... and decided I can shit at work... it was very nice.. I did that a couple of times... at some point, while siting there.. alone, I thought... 'I am getting paid to do this',

so I started shitting everyday at work as it was very worthy but then...

one day I went back home and I had to take a dump.... and though... 'but why should I, no one is paying me to do so'?!... and I didn't...

With time passing by, My ability to shit at home was deprived, the joy that I had shitting at work became a necessity... and the weekends.... long and stagering, but Mondays made me fill... everything with joy.

Capitalism has manipulated me... into making me love Mondays, making them innevitable for me, Capitalism has brainwashed me into being an obedient slave, we must rise and destroy each and every toilet in the companies in which we work or else...

I don't see how I would be able to go on vacations... for 2-3 weeks...

Client: we are using Scrum. Next week we have sprint review organized by the project manager.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: in the next sprint we work on a mockup not releasable in production.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: sprint backlog is changed again, at the end we must do everything that is written in the contract with that fixed amount of money.
Me: definitely not Scrum.
Client: we are using Scrum.
Me: Ok.

Looking at one particular job ad

“Experience with agile”
“Excellent knowledge of agile frameworks”
“Work with agile software development team”

Basically in the first few paragraphs it mentions agile about 10 times.

Then the first bullet point in the essential column

“Must have experience working to tight deadlines”

D’oh

I do IT work along side my dev work. I had a Dr come up to me and ask me if I had time to help him pick out a personal computer... (Mother fucker I am on lunch break) "Sure" I say... "What's your budget, what will you be doing with the computer?" Dr - "I don't mind spending $6,000 and I want it for minor gaming..."

MUST BE FUCKING NICE!

Right.. time to update branding for a work project, which I don't normally touch.

So I open Fork, open the local copy, pull from remote, and...... Well, see the screen snip.

🤔😶😭

It must be so nice to work with people who ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK about their codebases. I, unfortunately, can only imagine that..

Daily scrum
Today, the Scrumpy Master was not here, so I leaded the daily scrum meeting,
rephrasing the 3 standards questions a little bit: the results where amazing.
Here my questions in case somebody want to use them:
- What the fuck did you do on Friday?
- What the fuck do you think you are doing today?
- What is your fucking problem?

We managed to keep the meeting very short and after the meeting everybody was sooooo concentrated I couldn't believe it.

Beeep Beeeeeep 7:00 o'clock. Shit. I was dreaming. Must wake up and go to work.
Scrum master will be there too.

Must fun was definitely when I programmed the automated installing tool to make my life easier at my old work.

Imagine​ having to install about 30+ PC's in an period of 2 days and that repeating at least 1-2 times a week...Having standard programms to install like acrobat pro and more...

Just deployed needed software on the net. wrote a ghost installer programm and let him deploy the software for me. No continue smashing anymore. God bless that idea I had.

I think its only reasonable that if I must show u my code during i terview process, I get to see some of the code that I'll get to work with if I'm hired.

Starting to think employers just straight up lie up everything..

Why do i need to find out about your shit code on the first day?!
Cutting edge tech my ass...

How can some developers send emails like "I did <x> and <y> right, but I still have an error!" with NO copy/paste of the error? Come on, you hate user emails that just say "Your site doesn't work." You should know better.

I'm going to just start answering with "Wow, that sucks, and you did everything right, huh? It must just hate you." I shouldn't have to go force you to tell me what the problem actually is at that basic level.

I used to think this was a user thing. We wouldn't do that... hah, lost user, oh well, that's why we're helping them. Apparently it's not.

Everywhere you go, you find these memes where developers are skeptical of their work. Things like "It works. I don't know how. It doesn't work. I don't know how.". Don't you guys think this is a huge problem? And people say that their programming language is the best, because preference. But isn't this happening because our tools suck?

Yes the problems maybe inherently complex but at least we should be able to figure out the logic behind the snipper and reason about it.

Haven't really experienced it, but they say Haskell and the likes are great at this and it must be true because it's backed by mathematical properties and laws, not " experience".

So the rant here is, wish we had better tools in the mainstream that allowed us to enjoy absolute faith in at least what we have written, regardless of the fact that we understood the problem in the domain.

I feel like a piece of shit because I don't want to help my "friend" who has been faking being a web developer for years. He now has a real project he must develop that actually requires writing code (It's a serious project that requires real Javascript skills) and he's basically fucked.

He usually would hop on the web and download a template, edit it and get paid. But then again I don't want to help him because he always comes to me and I do all the work and save his ass while he does nothing.

I'm in a rock and a hard place right now because I'm also a dev and I actually have a lot of work to do, unlike his lazy ass.

I finally got a job at a tech company (although it's not a tech job) with a very good work/life balance.

Therefore, I plan on getting more serious about properly learning how to program in my spare time, also because, being a tech company, programmers are all over the place and are generally willing to talk about code.

I must say that while job hunting, devRant has been very useful to me since it allowed me to understand what kind of environment I'd like to work in. So far, the first few weeks of work have been great.

Ah, and the view from the office is unbeatable.

This morning I turned on my PC at work...
Only to be greeted by a finishing your Windows upgrade message.
It took fucking windows HALF AN HOUR to finish the upgrade.
After that my machine lost its built in cam, mic and speaker. Which I need for my work.
Took me two hours to hunt down the correct driver to install and find the info it must be installed in Win7 compatibility mode or it won't work. It was pure joy to install it plain first and it still didn't work.
Then VirtualBox refused to start. Took me half an hour to upgrade it and get it working again.
Took me half a day to just get the shitmachine working like it did yesterday so that I can START working.

So, dear Microsoft:
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
wait for it...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
FUCK YOU!
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
sincerely

(And don't give me this "use Linux" crap, I have to use Windows for my work.)

More coffee. If that fails to work, you must be hungry and need pizza.

Quit my job almost a year ago, not sure if I want the same job again. Still love coding but I think I have to look for something else in favour of my mental health.

Today I made some woodwork for charity and it felt great. But I can't get rid of the lil dev in my head:

- I wish I had some kind of VCS
- Someone must have done this before, why didn't he open source his work?
- Ain't there any lib for that?
...

😂

I used to work IT in an entertainment startup, and now I’m an iOS dev at a big entertainment company. Several people from my old company have been reaching out to eagerly tell me about their new app idea I just have to hear, asking me to help code their app— and have even hinted at me quitting my nice safe job to join their great new startup that doesn’t even exist yet.

I know this must happen to app devs all the time. What do you say?

How do you deal with telling these nice people who just don’t understand it doesn’t work that way, without crushing their dream? I have a coffee meeting planned to tell one of them “You should learn to code so you can make a proof of concept,” but I fear that won’t be received well.

What’s the standard protocol for telling people you won’t be able to code their magic app idea?

Public CSS discord: "Oh, awesome thanks, man! No need to apologize, I'll check the code. I DM'd you."

DM: Total meltdown cry baby freak-out... "Oh yeah... well, if the code is broken - then why does my repo have 63 stars? I think I'd know if my code didn't work - it must be your computer. Why won't you let me team-viewer into your computer and see your screen? I don't care about your personal information. It's made with React, not CSS. I thought you would be helpful - but you're not at all. You aren't professional..."

Uh... (I can see the code... team-viewer isn't going to help you... and I'm at work... and I already spent 15 minutes helping you - you fucking prick)

Job posting: "we require 1.5 years of experience in iOS development"

Also job posting: *doesn't mention a requirement for a degree*

Me: "Cool, this looks exactly like a job for me, I'll send them my résumé!

Recruiter returns to me a day after with this:

"You said you have no work experience, we said in the posting that you need to have 1.5 years of work experience"

THE JOB POSTING DOES NOT MENTION THIS ANYWHERE, THEY ONLY MENTION EXPERIENCE IN IOS DEVELOPMENT

WHY MAKE IT SO AMBIGUOUS AND THEN CHANGE YOUR STANCE

When I finally get a fucking response from a recruiter after sending my résumé to dozens upon dozens of companies, it's a bullshit response.

FUCK YOU.

Note: I am aware of the massive amount of AltRant crashes, I am sorry for making it worse. I need to work on 2 more major final tests that I must pass, but I think I will start fixing some of the crashes today.

Ooh come on .... The fluecent tube of our bathroom mirror was broken. So my girlfriend bought a new one. Still didn't work. So it must be the starters. Nope they work. So I took the damn thing apart completely and ripped out the PCB and meassured every transistor, diode and capacitor. And even replaced one that gave some fishy values just in case. Still didn't work. Then I opened the side door of this mirror and found a switch that I must have switched off by accident ... Switched on: lights on 🤔🤗😌

Corp: you will get a four hour assignment to work out
Me: cool nice.
Corp: here it is, build a dragon with conflicting requirements, stocks but without any form of pricing mixed in. Then slay that dragon and post it to the static backend we created.
Me: cringe much?
Corp: yeah, you can spend more than 4h but be sure to spice things up abit. Since it is frontend, and all we spin up from the backend is flat data. But it must exhale an exciting user experience.
Me: stop the cringe pls!

Time management tips one must follow to be successful:-

1. Remove distractions:- Phone, Whatsapp, Instagram, FB, etc. All away from you during work.

2. Remove clutters: Get rid of not required things.

3. Eliminate redundancy

4. Emulate others: (My favourite) If someone has spend time and done some work. Do not reinvent the same work done just replicate that work and continue from that point.

5. Share burden: Team work and depending on others is not bad.

6. Make work fun: Most important if you enjoy your work you will give your best.

There are so many weird hacks in the quite legacy app I work with I could write a book about all them hacks…

But I must admit, the worst of them all is internal time. Yes, so some blockhead thought it’s a good idea to represent time in a manner completely removed from Datetime objects or timestamps or even string representations. Instead we deal with them as intervals represented by integers - and because this is not fucked up enough by itself, the internal time doesn’t start at midnight, yet the integer representations do. It’s a bloody mess. No wonder most of the bugs we face have to do with dates and time…

THIS FUCKING RECAPTCHA GEM! WHY THE FUCK MUST I DEBUG YOUR FUCKING PRODUCTION CODE AND WORK AROUND YOUR FUCKING BLUNDERS?

VERY LITTLE PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN SUFFERING FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S FUCKING STUPIDITY

It must really suck to be a malware dev... "Oh look, the recent changes i made to my cryptomalware made it work! Sadly project file are encrypted too. Lets start over."

My friends netspeed. Must be nice.... attached in the comments is what I’ve got to work with. It’s sad when my mobile hotspot is faster than my fucking wall connection.

I just started as a computer science major, and I'm a little irritated because I think I know more than my proffessor. I was excited that I would be pushed to my limits, but the other day I asked him for things I should work on to get ahead...
Him: Sure, page 475 has some good projects. Just don't go past chapter 9 unless you're confident with pointers.
Me: I did C before C++ and I hated pointers.
Him: C doesn't have pointers, you must have been using a different version of C.
Me: OK
Like really? I just can't wait till next semester.

TEAM PROJECTS IN UNIVERSITY BE LIKE:

You will need to write a paragraph of text, approximately 100 words long.

In order to manage your work more effectively, you must split the paragraph into sentences and each one of you should write one.

Make sure you don't clash with each other, the text is meaningful and it flows nicely.

You have one month: you should meet at least twice a week to discuss how to go about the tasks, review your work and plan ahead.

We will be checking on your progress on a weekly basis.

Most importantly, do not just wait until the last minute and have one person do all the work: that's just silly.

Just found out some of our smaller sites (wp) have been hit with a shell...
In fucking January.

My colleagues didn't think to tell me this.

They figured someone must have had the pass or something and started posting about Viagra...

No. It's the fucking ico vuln...

I hate work right now.

I am currently blocked from doing my job by a firewall policy handed down from corporate that prevents WSL2 from connecting to the internet. Three days of no dev environment and counting.

We make linux software to be hosted on linux in linux containers in linux. We use linux command line tools to make it work.

"NO! WE ARE THE ALL-POWERFUL IT DEPARTMENT AND YOU MUST USE WINDOWS BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY."

Yes, the client says it must work on IE 8. 😢

Does any one of you have doggos or cattos in your office campus ?
It must be so AMAZING for reducing stress at work.

It's the start of my career - I got an exciting internship offer. There is a lot of work though. I must say, devRant is helping a lot ;-)

(Joined today)

I heard "we must be agile" so many times at work that I don't know what that means anymore.

Customer complains that the deployed desktop app is slow at site x.
I check it out with users at site x, and indeed, it does have a delay when trying to connect to a share on a server.
Checks with users at site y and z, no issues.
After a bit of digging, the resolve of a DNS record is most likely the culprit.
Send the ticket to the customer network team to investigate.
Get it back after an hour.

"We have pinged the DNS name, and it responds fine, there must be a bug in the application".

Oh and also, I wrote this rant at work, in my head, with a lot more cursewords involed.

Today I told to my Project Manager that after one year of taking care ( explaining thousands of lines of codes) to an external team ( another company) to migrate our application from a monolith to microservices + react, that the React UI they build looks like shit.

He replied "at least it works".

Now I must find the courage to tell him that it doesn't work correctly because instead of a simple *migration* the external team rewrote some algorithms used in a bank application and now the data are wrong.

advices ?

I'm at this point where I want to throw a temper tantrum - throw myself on the floor and crying like a child.

Frustrated. Only shit mundane work. Isolation sucks. Health sucks. Everything stinks.

And my willpower is like a candle in the wind.

I know it's not specificly the job, because not everything is mundane. It's my brain and soul poking each other's eyes out.

*scratches head*

Why must everything be so shitty at the moment...

So I let myself go by all of this talk about giving more freedom and autonomy to your team. "Don't micro-manage them", they said. "Trust them," they said. And that's the way I wish to be treated. That's how I personally work best.

Alas, this only works only when they're truly good at what they're doing. Sometimes I feel like we'd go faster if I did everything myself. These baby devs must be taken by the hand every damn step of the way.

On the morning of my 4th day at the new job I woke up with that feeling in my stomach "I fucking don't want to go to work anymore".

it took 3 days. Must be my personal best.

I must admit I like Microsoft a lot, but today, I hate them. Yesterday the Windows 10 anniversary update was pushed and I was forced to install it. As I had a day of meetings I did.

This morning I started my laptop and and browsed to one of the web apps I'm developing for my client. The website didn't work. Turns out Microsoft uninstalled all specific Windows features, such as IIS, MSMQ, and much much more. Guess I'll be spending my time this morning or day to reconfigure my system. Happy anniversary Microsoft.

Been in a creative company for more than a year working as front-end, mostly CSS3 Animations and jQuery.
Today got a Job Offer in a startup about building an ERP for Albanian Market, mostly in Laravel and Vue.js
I was so excited for the first 30 minutes and then I remembered that I don't know so much Laravel and Vue, also I must work with an other guy which has lesser experience than me.

Totally scared about this new exp but ready to go for it :D

Any suggestions is really appreciated!!!!!

First day of work, the guy says that I must arrive until 9am, he isn't here, now I'm sitting waiting for him (it's 9:45)

Starts PHP development team which will deploy on Debian... all developers must work on Windows :/

Sitting at traffic lights on my way home from work thinking about the programming behind how often the windscreen wipers are triggered, how to store the values of each wiper setting in a meaningful data type, and how to handle the event of changing wiper settings eg. to ensure the wipers aren't triggered immediately when increasing the frequency.

Wish my mind could rest when I'm outwith work but I experience this sort of thing worse after drinking alcohol. Must have a problem.

1 - Spend 6 months building an app with Flutter
2 - Try to add in-app purchase. Must upload an apk to google console and register a product
3 - Must launch the app so the product is activated
4 - Console complains apk must contain 64 bits version
5 - Go to the issues tab on github and find a solution
6 - Implement the solution, recompile and send 2 apk files to Console
7 - Did not work...
8 - Find out maybe the console will allow just on closed alpha and beyond
9 - Put apks on closed alpha and fail because the Console wants a new apks with increased version codes...
10 - Recompile and send apks
11 - Console won't allow launching unless the format is using the new App Bundle
12 - Flutter does not support App Bundle with 32 and 64 bits...
13 - See issue about it saying the possible fix is in beta version, just need to update... What could go wrong?

I just wanted to release a damn app

I hate that shit

Can you rant about yourself?

I was reading about the AWS outage, with little to no interest. I didn't know what it was and thus figured it wouldn't affect me.
Some time goes by and I come up with this 300++ vote post. I'm witty, I'm smart, but when I want to upload a photo it doesn't work.
Must be the app right? I restart, nope nothing. Whatever..

Sometime later I have a dashing new photo for tinder. Surely to give me all the matches. Nope, can't upload it.
Must be my phone or Internet then.
Restart everything, nothing is working. Complete madness, no devRant upvotes and I'm still single.
I surrender, give up. Which is one of the worst things to do for me as a dev.

Today. Which is the cherry on the cake. I finally see my connection to the incident. I feel stupid and annoyed by myself.
God dammit Julian, pay attention.

</rant>

In a call with the big boss of the huge company I'm working for:

HER: Yeah, this MUST be in the next release or we better not even release

She's talking about a fucking carousel to let the user know its stuff has been merged, I get the point! It's important, but do you fucking realize that the user is currently NOT EVEN LOGGING IN?

HOW TF IS YOUR PROBLEM WHAT THEY SEE ONCE INSIDE THE PLATFORM IF THEY CAN'T EVEN LOG THE FUCK IN?

FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH JUST SAYING WHAT HAS TO BE DONE AND THEN PRENTEDING SHIT TO ACTUALLY WORK PROPERLY

Ok, let's actually try and work on my games Dev kit workspace functionality and not get side tracked with devRant... Oh fuck I'm on it right now... Well shit!

I think I browse through devRant at an unhealthy amount lol

Work for a large DoD contractor, tons of development projects.

They just sent an email stating that all unmanaged VM’s must be removed!

Hard enough not having admin rights but no vm’s?

ahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahhabahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahanannaannanaaanannananannananannannananan

I hate my job (work as a waiter). I am seriously considering quitting in a few weeks, but I want to get a job as a junior developer even though I am not very good at programming. I live in Dallas and am wondering what are the things I must know before applying to a company.

I was eating my oats happily when, suddenly, Boss called because clients complained data duplication in reports, and asked why I removed DISTINCT in the query. So, I stopped eating and obliged to answer the call because I so loved my work :) <3

How is it my fault now, when the QA just told me to make the data transparent and to not display them distinctly by name?

This is why i could NEVER work a helpdesk job - yesterday corporate head office sent out a company wide email, including the helpdesk address. Helpdesk automatically creates a ticket for any emails, attaching the original email for reference. This morning I see at least 10 helpdesk tix, emailed to me because i was on the original email chain, created by dumb-dumbs saying things like "all these emails must be a computer glitch" "I do not require assistance" without realizing if they just stopped replying they would stop getting the emails!

Helpdesk is SWAMPED with legitimate work but lately theyve had to deal with things like this, I feel terrible for them

My Precalculus teacher has such overstrict rules on showing work.

1. On tests, degree signs must be shown in all work. This wouldn't be outrageous except that if the answer is right but a single degree sign is missing in the mandated shown work, the entire question is wrong even with a correct final answer because the "answer doesn't match up with the work".

2. We must show work in the exact form mandated from on class. If even a single step of work is missing or wrong on even one say homework problem, no credit even if the entire rest of the sheet is correct and complete.

3. Never applied to me, but if a homework problem cannot be solved by a student, they must write a sentence describing how far they got and what wasn't doable, or no credit on the entire homework. Did I mention it is checked daily and is 2 unweighted points with 50-100 point tests?

4. On graphing calculator problems, one had to draw a rectangle representing the calculator screen, even for solving systems of equations without explicit drawing graphs as part of the problem, because otherwise, she had "no proof that a calculator was used". It isn't that hard to fake, and it was quite stupid.

5. Reference triangles were required even when completely unnecessary or the answers were assumed copied, even if a better method was shown in work.

And much, much more!

I like how a co-worker is expecting a Windows Container to work in Linux, and vice versa.

No, it doesn't work like that you fucking baffoon, Linux rootfses needs the Linux kernel (hence why it runs on WSL2 or Hyper-V using LCOW), and same can be said for Windows Containers.

How dumb of a human being must you assume everything should "just work" in a container?

Tried to make my qr code look fancy, and it didn't turn out well. My guess is the main part of the qr code must be darker than the complementary part?

(The one in the image doesn't work)

Nothing breaks a dev's heart more than when you plan to spend your day off programming and work asks you to do a full day .-.

Why must everything cost money .-.

I must use windows at work and after 5 years of using mac I can say that windows is fucking loud, fucking beeps everywhere. Like you fucking do anything that has no results it’s beep - that’s fucking crazy I feel like I’m on some fucking road with assholes all over the place beeping on me.

I can work in silence on my mac, no software beeps by default.

Fucking Hell how can you listen to beep all day ?

Hello all, I was wondering how some of you guys manage stress on the job? I recently got a new "real" job as a lead php dev working 9-5 in down town Houston. I must say, this "normal" work schedule is kicking my ass. I'm constantly exhausted, stressed out and am now having second thoughts about the position. What should I do?

Me: does literally anything
Npm: breaks

Why NPM? Why must you do it? This is the third time this week on a third system. I just wanted to update so my packages would work. But nooooooo. Oh you wanna update? It'd be a real shame if I, I don't know, didn't update properly whatsoever and all of a sudden couldn't find any internal modules I need to run.

"Just use npm i npm@latest"

Yeah I would except for the whole I can't use NPM at all thing. even npm -v breaks. Can't find internal module. So I literally have to wipe eveey trace of npm/node and do a clean install.

It's so frustrating! I can't do any work because I spend all my damn time fuckin around with NPM.

qa: so yesterday we found some bug, not really related to you but <boss> told me to put it on you
me: yeah, when he doesn't, this dick didn't work since I came

*later this day at ~15:00*
boss: so I'm going home, you **must** deal with this bug today, your algo doesn't work.
me: it did 2 days ago didn't it? did you even check the bug?
boss: yeah
me: did you check for regression or just said to put it on me?
boss: nope
me: did you check the changes of the new guy?
boss: nope
me : so why the fuck blame my code?!

*17:10 I'm going home no regression, new guys code deadlocks, not a single fuck thrown*

Being able to make THE game I've wanted to make for 4 years. I have a team of people who wants to participate (dev, artist, etc) and I even started building my engine from scratch.

But most importantly, my dream for this game is to have it published on the Nintendo Switch (also PC, OSX and Linux of course)

But right now I must focus on finishing my degree and doing contracts to make enough money to hopefully work full time on my game.

I'll see you in 2 years Albi

Embedded app design resources?

We have a device that is currently controlled through buttons and knobs. We are rethinking this design. We want to have a mix of buttons and knobs and in addition have a touchscreen. The controls must be redundant. So if we turn off the touch screen it must be able to control everything.

Does anyone know of any design resources for non-touchscreen embedded control?

I have been looking into how gaming console controls work. I like how they have the idea of controlling the game vs breaking the 4th wall. We have a similar constraint as we want the operator focused on what they are controlling and not the controls or even sometimes the screen. So immersion is definitely a concept for us. I have been toying with the idea of adding a d-pad for some controls. We have not solidified the hardware controls yet. That is still up to me to come up with some ideas to make it more intuitive.

Update to my previous desire to install Arch Linux on my MacBook...

Well, I installed it, played around a bit... now gonna install OS X back... primary reasons being the fact that there r a lot of things which u must do to get arch to work perfectly in MacBook... ( special kernels and stuff ) and I use an iPhone 😐... in other words, m locked to the ecosystem... for now...

I was so hoping to use arch... it wud have been amazingly fast on the SSD... 😍😍

No m not gonna use VM since it’s not fun 😂😂

Wish iTunes worked in Linux too ☹️😕

I changed my default search engine to DDG for some weeks to try something new. Sadly I must say that it isn't for me. At least not in the company I work. Reason is: we use a German CMS with most Forum posts written in German and I noticed really fast that Google just gives me much better results on specific issues.

Are you guys happy with DDG?

So my first dev job has ended up as fucking dat entry after one of the contractors got bored and left.

I’m an SQL Developer (at least that is my job title) and all I do is fuck around with exchange rates in spreadsheets.

The only “proper” development work they gave me hasn’t even been applied to the test server yet (should have been done over a month ago)

And the project they gave me to look into migrating from sourcesafe to GitLab has ground to a halt.

I’ve been here 4 months and I want to quit already, that must be a record (for me at least)

I was keen an full of energy, willing to do some work from home etc. But a little piece of me dies every time i open Excel

"Wow! Programming must be easy! Why did you charge us costly?"

Just because I work at home and talking to myself does not mean it easy...

PS. even now I still feel like noob in programming

wtf!! That stupid piece of @#$@#$, how does it even work for anybody. EVER. Bundle it in a container, make sure it's ephemeral. Yerterday it worked, and today it fucking does whatever it wants@!!! That fuking fucktard piece of shit!!

Fuck it. Fuck all of it.

It must be a fault in my RAM or something. I mean, nothing has changed since yesterday. I could run the appp in the container yžday ez, and today -- it gives me a finger, completely ignoring my parameters!! Asshole!!!!

The only reason I ordered a new phone today is there are bunch of apps that no longer work on my phone.

Including Amazon and even work related apps.

Been 5+ years I am using my current phone and not a single scratch on screen, though the body is affected a little. All of this without protection.

I must admit my handling game is good. Lol

New work place (changed the PC bellow (so now I have just a little more room.
And the stuff that arrived in 10 days.
Only arround 90 packages to arrive, all arduino or eletrónics related...
Must up my credit card limit
... Reached maximum this month.
No I only need that energy I had before the brake down.. Maby forcing me to finish the projects I already have in mind.
After all, I need a cnc to make my projects, so I must make one

This remote agency that we use to help us build our mobile app is taking the piss out of us. They always have stupid questions, more stupid questions and on top of that at least they don’t work fast. So a task that should take a day it takes them a week and when they deliver it’s not exactly what we’re asking. Despite the fact that they’ve already asked me tons of questions they went ahead and implemented something I haven’t asked for because they thought it’s better. Well guess what read your fucking requirement documents that I spent 2 days writing. It’s all there bullet point by bullet point including the way it should work with examples and justification plus a flow charts to make it super fucking clear. It must be their business model to fuck around, stay on the project for as long as possible and ask for more money. They can’t be that stupid.

Boooooy symfony has changed a lot since laaaaaaaaast time I used it a long time ago.

Some days ago I finished a little project I built using express and mongo. I want to port it into symfony to see how the newest version (which is 4) fares and I must say. I am really impressed and happy with what I am seeing :D

This sucks because I am going to be dying to use this at work and I know that I am not going to be able to use it unless i act all sneaky and shit

Algorithms teacher: I don't know how to work this thing. (computer) ... Students constantly have to go up front and help him do basic computer stuff. Even worse, he types with two fingers! Why education system must you suck so bad???

ESNext (next version of JavaScript) — because no matter what I do, as long as I'm working with web technologies, JavaScript is king. My career has evolved from UI-focused work, primarily working with JavaScript, yet I've also worked on embedded platforms and even operating systems! JavaScript is my foundation and you must always remember your roots!

The marketing department must be run by wild butthurt fucking monkeys... Bloody idiots do you even know the word " controll"?! It's a simple fucking thing instead of wasting fucking 2,5hrs of my time which could been put on.. oh I donno more productive work?!?

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Fuck sake.. 2 numbers... 2 numbers on almost every fucking article was wrong and you couldn't even check these in the fucking program BEFORE asking me to fix the images for these and upload? No I had to upload everything only to later noticed that you cunts gave the wrong numbers .... Butthurt wienerschnitzel 🖕

Some days I'm really not sure if I'm a developer or everybody's general problem solver because I'm an engineer and can think critically about your site configuration THAT YOU SHOULD BE ADMINISTERING YOURSELF!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Doesn't work, must be the dev."

Wrong. You misconfigured something and fucked it up. Figure it out yourself - actually read the error message right in front of your face - and don't waste my time.

Client wants some CMS text to be automatically translated. So I checked and Google seems to have a solution for that. I thought to to be as simpel as doing a request and parsing the response. That's how API's work, right?

No. First I must create an account, that account must have a credit card, then I need to setup credentials, the default ones working with path variables, an API key... etc etc etc.

I feel so stupid for just not understanding their docs. I'm just a dude that installs a CMS and makes pretty CSS for it. I've worked with REST APIs before (Mollie, Carerix) but none of them ever demanded the level of knowledge and setup the Google Translate API demands.

Am I just a bad developer or is this shit just too complex for your average web developer?

For my uni course we have to get a year long internship and I just turned down a opportunity to work at a multi national company in a different country for a chance to get a games programming internship.... I must be crazy

You know what you shouldnt do? Leave your bag with your work laptop at the stairs.

Woke up as normal today and helped the kids down the stairs without checking. Then I just heard how I stepped on something.

Lets say its a big crack in the middle of the screen and you see shit. But gladly it work with work with external screens so its just the screen that are damaged. So tomorrow I must either:

- Work as normal with an external monitor and simply wait to call the boss for fix until after christmas.

- Or call the boss and tell him how stupid I am and hope its okay and I van get a new one/fix this.

Right now I feel for the first one.

“Huddles don't work in safari 🤡,” Slack said.
Develop → User Agent → Google Chrome.
Boom, huddles suddenly work in Safari, and my today's huddle went absolutely fine.

Yep, I switched to Safari as my default browser. Previously, I didn't use it solely because YouTube's full-screen mode acted weird, but now I quit watching YouTube altogether.

Safari is a stellar browser. First, it wipes the floor with everything, even including Thorium, in the performance department (on Apple Silicon at least). Second, it's really beautiful with its new inline tab panel, where you have just one line of icons on top, instead of having two (tabs and url bar). DevTools are amazing. It can also connect to my iPhone's Safari via Wi-Fi and inspect the opened page — a must-have for heavy layouts. Plus, if my website works fine in Safari, it sure as hell will work fine everywhere. Safari is a great hack detector, as it won't tolerate dirty hacks. Works wonders for your code discipline.

So these same mother fuckers that think 8:00 is reasonable time for a meeting, have decided that the health checks need tk be done by 7:00

But no, I must just be grateful to have work

Me, 5 years ago:
Light theme sucks, everything must join the dark side!

Me, now older and obviously wiser:
Actually, light theme is nice, it forces you to work in daytime, with less frequent headache.

Focus on projects, not tests.

If you want people to be able to code, judge them by their ability to code.

Plus that way your graduates have a portfolio as opposed to a grade list that says nothing about their usefulness in the market.

If you must do tests, at least mimic real world conditions:

- Digital, no paper
- Internet allowed (have rules on copying SO if you must)
- BYOD, let people work in their customised environment

Working at a start-up company and i must confess its blood sucking like you've got some vampires sucking life out of you. I have to work like a donkey or camel and sometimes feel like am right in the middle of hell , lots of requirements, changes, fixes, updates, and more products stuffs that pissed you up, I don't know what am feeling right now but I only know am coding and have to take some shit feelings out!!!!

I realized how much I suck at maths.
But seriously now, I started understanding the way things work, what makes them 'tick'.
It feels good to look at a random huge advert screen and immediately conjure up a pseudocode how I imagine the developers must have done it.

Ubuntu 17.10...

WORST UBUNTU RELEASE TO DATE!

Why oh why did they go with /swapfile by default? I was legacy booting with UEFI enabled and it still didn't work! And don't get me started on nouveau (Nvidia OSS).

When I click "use proprietary software" I want the OS to do everything in its power to just work. Disable 3D acceleration if you must - at least boot to a console.

I'm scared to try it on my main desktop now!

I switched to Linux Mint and I'm happy now, I just needed an instant OS that works. 😊

Fun fact. I work for a 20-year old company that does software which mostly does print outputs. 95% of our clients actually use it specifically and exclusively to print their invoice runs. There are over 25 printers in this office, 5 of which are within chair-rolling distance of my desk.

I don't know how to use or fix any of them. I must be a *really bad* developer. >.<

Since day 1, I've been eager in learning everything dev-related in English, and as it, I've focused on thinking, writing, shitting and eating english for a basis.

Now, where I work, I say, our country native language it's Spanish, but I feel bad whenever they tell me I must write everything in Spanish (code included). Maybe I'm overreacting or something.

So, here's my question for you, devs, when you're working on a coding-related project, should it be on English or not?

TL:DR Company partner screws up and doesnt do job. I start new company and now able to make ends meet.

My friend and me started this company together. Our roles were defined. I would manage the development of stuff and he would manage getting the clients. I did my job. About a year into the company. He goes ahead and partners in another company. Normally I wouldnt bother, but this is when he stops getting clients for us. Our business drops 50% in the second year. He doesn't work but expects to be paid the same salary as me. I'm doing all the work for the clients while he wastes his time with the other company. He manages to make money doing stuff and buys a BMW, while I'm struggling to make rent.
Finally in Dec last year, I plan to start my own company. And i suddenly have lots of work which pays decently well. I'm looking to hire and am not as stressed with work any more.
Moral of the story: if you must partner, make sure your partner is fully invented in growing your company.

Why is it that EVERYTIME before going on vacations I am loaded with work, that production problems are sent to me and must be fixed ASAP, and that everyone needs me right away all the time. Manage your time stop sucking out mine 😤

Out top management has made the decision that our managers must have billable work as well on projects. I feel like winter is coming.

Boss: I want a simple form builder.
Me: Ok.
Boss: It must cover all our customers needs. They can build their own form and save their customer submission.
Me: What is their needs?
Boss: Quiz Form, Sales Form, Events Form, Bla bla bla..
Me: Ok, that's not simple so we need to analyze the system first.
Boss: It's similar to wordpress (referring to wp cms) so it must be easy.
Me: But, Wordpress already started before I work here. And..
Boss: I already have a customer and I need it in 1 months!

"Non-technical" users must have some magic skill that goes beyond my understanding. How can anyone work with no-code page builders? I tried Wix, Webflow, Gutenberg, Elementor, Divi, and Semplice. Each one sucks in their way, but they have one thing in common: their UI behaves even more erratically than Microsoft Word.

Is there a "non-technical personal computer user" class where people learn that logic? How did they manage to hide their secret understanding from developers? Or what did I miss?

Who says you can't use CMD on a Windows phone?

I managed to crack the screen of my precious Lumia (yes, haters, I <3 winPhone) and now the back and home buttons don't work. Everything must happen by searching it in cortana/search.

You can imagine what going back one level in settings must be like. And every operation is like a command on a shell. No tiles, no swipes, nothing. It feels raw.

I'm using an auxiliary android (ughh) phone for now, but there's no windows phone in the market right now. And the swipe on G-board sucks.

The point of this rant is a question: does anyone know when the surface phone is releasing?

"I can never stand still. I must explore and experiment. I am never satisfied with my work. I resent the limitations of my own imagination." - Walt Disney

So, at my new workplace which completed another anniversary (my first) thought it's a chill place to work at.

Just heard internal bad bitching and stuff, fuck I hate corporate.

And there's this guy who must have watched a few episodes of Naruto and called Nine tails a wolf, a fucking wolf!

Then today during my introduction, the same guy interrupted me with a mock "This guy is a hacker and he can read all your messages"

I was very tempted to say what I used to do at my previous company but energy saving...

Ah.... I already don't like this guy

!rant

Ok guys, I feel like seeing a genuine civil chat here so here we go!

What is everyone's opinion on the way the gaming industry is going, I mean with everything going for the 4K and all the shit that goes on between Console and PC gaming (I'm a console gamer).

And, if you are a game developer, how has this push for 4K and everything must be 3D and photo realistic effected your work?

Must work in IE6+

So I just finished my degree and started working here at a small game development company that makes board games for mobiles (android/ios) using Unity. I love Unity and have built some demos and all for my college projects before.

They said there will be a training period but all they make me do is integrate firebase and other ad network plugins into their shitty game project.

And above that I'm offered only $200 a month. My college made me believe that you must get employed however low the salary is, no matter what. Fuck this shit.
I'd rather like to make my own game someday and make money off that than to work at this nihilistic place.

It's my first rant. So please ++1 me.

Now my rant:

In this semester I had a subject about system architecture. In this class, we must learn Java script, C# (and ASP.NET framework ), PHP (and Zend Framework 2), but in the classes is taught only UML and patterns. In the moodle of the subject we don't have any information about any of the languages and if we ask the teachers they don't know anything.
And we need in 4 weeks do a work with a widget in javascript, 2 Asp.net mvc, 1 asp.net web api. All with authentication.

So we are all fucked

Why must coming up with ideas be so fucking difficult, trying to work out names for variables and working out a file structure that makes sense for the SDK I'm working on is literally the only thing holding me back at this stage...

Ugh being a perfectionist and programmer is not a good mix .-.

EDIT: also just remembered of 2 YouTube series I want to make but can't think of a title so I haven't done them... Fantastic

A day in the life of @C0D4

Yay it's Tuesday.....

So morning goes something like coffee, yea no coffee no @C0D4, get to the office, get busy with normal morning routine - run the almost automated scripts I have to run - delete the 100+ emails I don't actually need from last night, read the 2 I do care about - yea 2 freakin emails out of 117 🤦‍♂️
But what ever that's what outlook rules are for... except I actually have to glimpse over them all just in case something of mine broke.

Go get another coffee,
Start working through the days tickets - ok cool nothing major to worry about, let's get back to writing tests from yesterday.

Well fuck that was a bad decision, no matter what I do this little fucker won't pass, yet doing this process step by step, detail for detail, it works - no issues, but automate this fucker and it screams its head off.

So fine, I give up and go to lunch,
Come back... spend next 3 hours on this 1 problem... 1 FREAKING problem 🤦‍♂️🥴🤦‍♂️🥴🤦‍♂️

This thing has beaten me, and for no apparent reason - it just doesn't like running under a test scenario.
Would have given up hours ago, except its a vital piece of code I'm trying to cover 😑 of course it is.

Well somewhere in there I managed to do a deployment for another project and change a few things in there.

This week is starting to look like hell,
Yay hump day tomorrow!!!!!
That's something, the week is coming to an end.... right? Please.... right!!!

Wow! New devRant IOS upgrade released today has some really cool new features! They must have a team of 10 coders or 1 @dfox and 1 @trogus. Great work guys!

I've seen developers offering to build limited websites for $5 on Fiverr. How can they do that? They must be using templates and frameworks pretty heavily to work at scale for those prices, surely?