A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

A man drives around the countryside. He sees a shepherd and stops at his side.

"Sir", he said, "let's make a bet, i will guess how many sheep you have and if I'm right, I'll get one of them."

The shepherd agrees. "122" says the man. The shepherd nods "impressing" while the man takes one of the sheep.

"Let's make another bet" says the shepherd "i guess what your job is, and if I'm right, you give me my sheep back." The man agrees.

"You're a business consultant."
The man is surprised "How did you know?"

"You come here uninvited, you tell me things i already know and expect to get paid for it while understanding nothing about my business, and now give back my dog."

Bravo! 👏

Amen.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to fog and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

Commenting to get jokes. Sorry. 😅

@dfox @trogus We need a way to subscribe to a rant without commenting. (Also commenting to get more jokes)

+1 for the feature request

Quite funny 😄

Quite old but still, always a good one ++ from me

>le me bringing another forgotten undefined rant to life