Seriously, why? WHHHYYYY?

US-date-format sucks, every FUCKING TIME!

The only time I really notice is when the "month" is larger than 12:

05/13/2017
"5th of Dec... oh. Fuck. Not this shit again..."

(It makes no sense. Absolutely none.)

I hate those fucking sites which make you login first and then redirect to their home page.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ITS 2017. CANT YOU BASTARDS WRITE A FEW LINES OF CODE SO THAT I AM AUTOMATICALLY REDIRECTED TO WHERE I WAS AND I NEED NOT BACKSPACE EVERY TIME I LOGIN?

Procrastination is like masturbation: it feels good while you're doing it but you're only fucking yourself.

- I remember this every time, it doesn't help much but it does make me chuckle.

Production is down

Me to Customer :What did you do?
Customer: Nothing
Me blurt out: The fuck you didn't!
Customer: ...
Me: ...(fuckfuckfuck)
Customer:... Well, I did run these scripts..
Me: (oh thank Christ)
Me: ok, I'll get right on it (Click)
Me to TeamLead: client called. Their prod is down!
TeamMate: did he say he didn't do anything?
Me:Yes
TeamMate: ..... Every fucking time...

Ranted about him before but this just came to my mind again.
The fucking windows (to the max) fanboy I had to deal with for too long.

Every time I mentioned something about what programming language to use in a project he was NOT part of:
"I know it's none of my business, BUT I think you should use .net"
(All backend JavaScript and php guys).

Every time I mentioned something about what server system to use:
"I know it's none of my business but I think you should use Windows server"
(All Linux guys)

Every time I'd say something positive about Linux he'd search as long as needed to prove that that was also a windows thing (didn't even come close sometimes)

Every time I told the devs there about a windows security issue (as in "guys they found this thing, install the next update to stay safe :)" - "ahhh will do, thanks for letting know man!") he'd search as long as needed to prove that Linux also had had security issues like that.
(Okay?!? I know?!? I'm just trying to notify people so their systems stay secure and they're genuinely happy with that so STFU)

MOTHERFUCKER.

Every time I hear "if it's stupid but it works..."

NO Fucking No!!!

If you know that it's stupid you should fucking correct it!!!

Every fucking time. 😂

Every. Fucking. Time.

java - - version
Unrecognized operation: - - version

FUCK!!!

java - version
java version "1.x...."

EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!

Why Java, WHY?!?!? 😭

Every other tool uses - - version ❤️

This annoying fuck is the single most hated guy on youtube PERIOD.

Every time I try to watch a tutorial or some gameplay demo this fucking cunt comes up with his piece of shit game dev course.

!dev related but fucking hell I need to get this out.

Could people (including friends) fucking stop to invalidate my favourite music genre?!

'Its just too hard', 'its so aggressive', 'its only boom boom boom'

Fuck you.

Always, al-fucking-ways at every party or wherever when people are allowed to put on music, whenever I'm allowed to, my music is turned off right away.

'Sorry but not everyone likes this and you're not the only one here'

I'm sorry, WHAT? I'VE LISTENED TO STYLES I REALLY FUCKING DON'T LIKE FOR FUCKING HOURS AND I'VE SWALLOWED IT ALL. THEN AT LEAST LET ME PLAY ONE FUCKING SONG ON A WHOLE FUCKING EVENING.

And nothing against metal peoples, really not but its nearly always the metal people who put their music on all evening and keep telling how awesome metal is and the second I mention my genre or out it on: 'oh but that sucks' *switches back to metal*

Go fuck yourselves. I'm swallowing this shit every fucking time but I'm getting fucking sick of this bullshit.

By the way, my favourite genre is raw hardstyle aka rawstyle.

Ranted about him before. The to the max windows fanboy. But next to being that, he had the habit of shooting down any and every idea/suggestion etc I had. Which is still quite 'fine' if you come up with good alternatives but he only came up with his own fucking preferences. (thing to keep in mind is that he wasn't even on our (me and one other guy) projects (!!!))

It would always go like this:

Him: soo, how are you planning on doing this?
Me: well I was thinking about {insert idea}.
Him: *wtf face* why?!?
Me: *comes up with constructive arguments*
Him: well, it's non of my business as I'm not on the project...... Buuuuuuut I'd do it with this: {insert anything in relation to Microsoft and the stack i said}.

It's bearable if that happens once.
It's annoying to fucking death when you hear that 10+ FUCKING TIMES EVERY DAY.

Every time I ended up completely boiling inside and getting the best possible practice at self-control. I never snapped even once.

When he finished his internship I talked to a colleague that he had to partner up with after a week or two to ask what he thought about that guy.
His reaction: he's a fucking disrespectful lowlife and a cunt. He was veeeeeeeeeery annoying with me and always shooting down my ideas but danm he was nearly fucking bullying/intimidating you every fucking day! He makes me fucking sick.

I need a vacation.
I’m horribly depressed and burned out, every day for months has been a little harder than the last, and really doing anything at all is a monumental challenge, work or otherwise. Let alone working on the fucking screwdriver.

I told my boss last night and requested time off.

His response?
> Oh no, but the new screwdriver! We were all really really hoping to get it out by the end of the month!

I’m a crumpled wreck and all you care about is the fucking screwdriver that PRACTICALLY NOBODY WILL FUCKING USE? Seriously dude, go to hell.

Just who the fuck from apple thought its a good idea to make the FUCKING SCROLL BAR overlap, the FUCKING PROPERTY ARROWS, everytime i accidentaly hover over it? I cant change shit! I have to wait few seconds every time i accidentaly hover over the scrollbar so i can be able to FUCKING CHANGE the value!

Dear Apple Inc,

Fix your shit! We're paying 100$ a year for what? More bugs and toruture? I didnt sign up for this bullshit! Give us back some real quality products, or just buy the company Jetbrains and let them build the IDE for you instead.

MOTHERFUCKING MICROSOFT!!! JUST SEND ME THIS FUCKING EMAIL !!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? EVERY FUCKING TIME IT TAKES TOOOOOOO MUUUUUCH TIME TO RECEIVE ANY FUCKING CONFIRMATION EMAIL!!! ITS FUCKING 2017 ALREADY GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Dear Apple,
WHY DA FUCK DO I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD 4+ GB EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE TO UPDATE X-FUCKING-CODE? A goddamn patch would be more than sufficient.

I got this coworker who ask me about everything every day. That is fine with me, but the way he does it is not. I always use noise-cancelling headsets. Every fucking time he walks up to my desk - and just stands there. And every fucking time I randomly turn my head and freaks out. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE, YOU CREEPY CRETIN?!

Every fucking time its the same shit:
Our nontechnical managers meet with the client and try to pass technical requirements to us..
These pieces of shit don't get that this only makes things worse.

Making everyone waste fucking time trying to understand requirements that would be a lot fucking easier if any of us were is any fucking meeting.
But nooooo... We have to fucking be the whole team in fucking meetings with these cock suckers so they can realize they didn't get shit and the back and forth bullshit begins:

We ask questions
They don't know
They schedule meeting with client
They ask their moronic way
The client answers
They schedule meeting with us
We ask questions...

And this fucking loop goes on for-fucking-EVER!

Fuuuuuuck this!!

FUCK VISUAL STUDIO ANBD EVERYTHING IT FUCKING STANDS FOR. PIECE OF SHIT IDE CANT HANDLE MORE THAN THREE FUCKING WINDOWS AT A FUCKING TIME WHY CANT A BILLION DOLLAR MOTHERFUCKING COMPANY MAKE COMPETENT SOFTWARE FOR ONCE? WHY IS MICROSOFT SO FUCKING AWFUL IN EVERYTHING IT DOES? WHY THE FUCK IS THERE NO AUTOMATIC VERSIONING LIKE EVERY CIVILIZED BASIC FUCKING IDE THAT EVER EXISTS? WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING MANUALLY VERSION MY FUCKING FILES? WHY THE FUCKING FUCK IS VISUAL STUDIO FUCKING GOING TO A FILE I USED 300 YEARS AGO WHEN I DEBUG AN APPLICATION? MOST USELESS, UNINTUITIVE PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE IVE EVER USED. IF YOU ARENT USING SOME GODDAMN SERVER SOLUTION TO KEEP TRACK WITH YOUR PROJECT VERSIONS, GOOD EVER FUCKING LUCK RECOVERING LOST CODE BECAUSE FUCKING MICROSOFT CANT DO WHAT FUCKING INTELLIJ DID 5 MILLION FUCKING YEARS AGO

No boss... For the fucking millionth time: unit tests are not a waste of time.

You keep testing everything manually and hoping that you tested everything every time and praying that there are no bugs IS THE FUCKING TIME WASTE

My boss just can't fucking wrap his head around automated tests... I'm trying hard... Gonna try harder...

Ebay app: Hey, look at this offer, you can save 30%!

Me: Urgh, alright, let me have a look
*Clicks notification*
*Offer seems alright, took me by surprise honestly*

*Scrolls down a bit*

Ebay app: ITEM DOESN'T SHIP TO YOUR LOCATION *evil laugh*

Fucking gets me every time

Every time I post a question to SO I feel so anxious.
Did I provide enough code samples and information?
Did I provide TOO MUCH information?
Is my English alright?
Did I really try everything else or will someone point out something totally obvious after that I feel that I need to delete my post because it's just dumb?

Feeling anxious right now... Worst of all: it's an important work related question, so I have to think about a new task because this issue was my only one and a road blocker.

AAAARRGGHHH!

Fucking kill me right now please. How the FUCK am I supposed to get any shit done when I'm learning something and the fucking DOCUMENTATION has been UNAVAILABLE for the past THREE MOTHERFUCKING DAYS.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER MICROSOFT.

Fucking idiots.

It wouldn't be so fucking bad if things like this didn't happen all the time.

But when EVERYTHING is FUCKED - ALL THE TIME, it kinda makes a person lose all hope in humanity and technology.

A typical motherfucking day for me:

Wake up
Go to work
Come home
Eat dinner (if I remember)
Attempt to code shit for 1 - 3 hours before I have to sleep
CAN'T FUCKING CODE SHIT BECAUSE:
1. Internet disconnects every 5 fucking minutes
2. DOCUMENTATION SITES ARE FUCKING DOWN
3. Shit Windows is UPDATING
4. a previous windows UPDATE has royally motherFUCKED my PC
5. etc

FUCK

I'm the only programmer in the company. Sometimes it's exhausting doing everything. I'm currently working on 3 iOS apps, a web app, building out the APIs and managing the databases at the same time.

Full fucking stack. Every day.

One of the things that make devRant special is it's multicultural nature. Every time I see a photo, it is from another country and even with such different people, we all relate to the same things and that is, my friends, fucking dope. No other social network is like this. Props to devRant!

So we have this long term contractor that EVERY FUCKING TIME says MySQL meaning SQL Server... Like wtf dude? Shut the fuck up...

My director likes to cut-off people mid-sentences. It’s every fucking time and it’s so fucking annoying. Like just fucking listen to me! That’s your fucking job!!

best friend works at a gym, and he always remind me to exercise.

him: bro when was the last time you workout?
me: every fucking day.
him: what?
me: I am a programmer bro, everyday is brain day.

OMFG GOD BOSS!! JUST TELL ME ALREADY EVERYTHING I HAVE TO FUCKING KNOW ABOUT THIS FUCKING FEATURE!

EVERY FUCKING TIME I FINISH IT YOU GIVE ME SOME DETAIL THAT I HAVE TO REWORK PIECES OF IT!!

DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!

I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS BUY NEW STUFF WHEN THEIR OLD THINGS WORK PERFECTLY FINE!
FFS PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT NOWADAYS! I MEAN, FIRST THEYRE LIKE, oh we need to save the planet bla bla.... THEN THEIR LIKE!
OMFG! NEW IPHONE X WOLOLO MUST HAVE! OMG MY OLD PHONE IS WORKING PERFECTLY FINE BUT ITS THE NEW IPHONE OMG!
I MEAN! COME FUCKING ON! WHAT IDIOTS! IF ITS WORKING, KEEP IT!
#NoHomo

Me done fixing a bug.
Me commit the fix.
Me resolve issue in JIRA.
Few minutes later, Me receive a notification. QA reopened issue: "Bug is still there".
Me go have look to Jenkins.
Pissed off, Me respond to QA: "Can you just wait for Maven to finish building the goddamn thing before testing it please?"

Every. Fucking. Time

I saw a meme about USB and thought I could make a stop motion gif. Here it is. 😁

For fucks sake I'm getting tired of this company. We have an app that's been developed on a VERY tight budget with a team and it's nearly completed/basically done few fixes here and there. They keep going to meetings with clients and promising more than the fucking app does! BITCH IT TOOK 6 MONTHS OF DEV TIME IF YOU WANTED THOSE OTHER FEATURES WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT IT IN THERE SOME FUCKING TIME.

And now since I'm in charge of the remnants of whats left, they keep asking me to make demos of ridiculous new features to show to new clients. BUT THATS NOT WHAT THE FUCKING UP DOES AND WERE OUT OF BUDGET!!!

I explain this. Every fucking day. I'm told they understand. Then I'm asked to make a fucking glittery demo with some bullshit features we don't have YET FUCKING AGAIN. BITCH I WILL QUIT THIS SHIT!

IF I SPEND ALL MY TIME MAKING THE FUCKING DEMOS, I CANT FINISH THE MAIN APP YOU FUCKTARDS. STOP PROMISING SHIT WE DONT HAVE!

I am on the fucking verge of throwing my coffee cup at a coworker.

I am sitting in an office with someone who has to vocalise everything that he thinks.

It started this morning, I was trying to solder the board on my headphones, because there was a cable that had come loose, and every fucking time that I start, some shithead phones, and then a few minutes later, he comes in and talks shit. Burnt myself.

Now I am trying to maintain some code, and every fucking time I start typing and getting into my code, the need to talk has to fucking arise. I have literally thrown the last 45 minutes out of the window because I cannot fucking concentrate. Nothing helps. Throwing a coffee cup will probably just inspire more to talk about.

Phenomenal, another motherfucker just came into my office and decided that it is decent to use the phone to phone his buddies.

Fuck this shit.

As someone who uses both Windows and MacOS, it's fucking impossible to type {} or $ on the first try. EVERY DAMN TIME I DO IT WRONG!

Dear Developers at Microsoft,
Why the FUCK does windows try to update EVERY TIME I boot my VM even though it fails EVERY FUCKING TIME? Can't it fucking learn that it's fucking broken and doesn't work? No? OK...

Every fucking time I open VirtualBox a new version has been released... And it's always the same!

The captcha gets me every fucking time...

Fucking finally. I got a job... No one is probably gonna give a shit because it's your average governmental drone position but I wanted this for a very long time...

** drum roll **

Customs and immigration officer!!!

Thats right! Deported! Deported! Deported! *hot chick* welcome to our country!

Best thing is... Now every project can be a side project... I can chillax and build software in my spare time... I love it.

Every fucking time, I apply for a role that suits, NOT SOME SUPER SENIOR ROLE THAT REQUIRES HUGE FUCKING EXPERIENCE, I get an email "After careful consideration, we've decided not to move on" BITCH YOU HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED WHAT YOU HAVE "CAREFULLY" CONSIDERED, I HAVENT APPLIED FOR SOME SPECIAL SPACE SCIENTIST POSITION YA CUNT.

Every time I interact with this DBA he treats me like I’m some fucking moron who barely knows what a query is. It doesn’t help that I can’t get him to understand a damned fucking thing, no matter what the topic is. We speak the same language, supposedly, but can barely communicate. I can’t even begin describe how his half of the conversations go because I am unable to follow much of it.

Maybe if I start aligning my fucking chakras and channeling my inner goddamn cosmic peace energy, or whatever it is he’s on about, he might start making more sense? I swear he’s been so high so often that he’s never quite come down.

There’s obviously a language barrier, somehow, but the guy is also such a douche every freaking time. Ugh.

Every fucking time!
😂😂😂😂

God Damnit just name the fucking interface one thing and stop changing it every single time you check in. I don't care if you call it IGeorge at this point as long as it's still the same thing tomorrow morning you fuck.

The last time I tried to root my phone, every method failed. Today I said fuck it. Either I'll brick my device or it works but fuck not having root access on my own fucking device.

It worked! I've got Xposed (😍) back and can finally run a root firewall and XPrivacy again 😍

Raspberry pi worked perfectly fine. Reinstalled the sd card for some reason (on purpose) and now, no matter what system I flash, it always crashes at stone point. That point is random every fucking time.

I just want this fucker to work 😥

Does anyone else feel Facebook is hell bent on attacking open source in order to gain a monopoly on it?

They are slowing replacing every industry standard tool with over engineered bullshit and it just gets lapped up like it's the best thing ever...EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME

Fuck you Facebook, i will never support you in your crusade against one of the things i hold closest to my heart.

ffs take it easy with those fucking Captchas. If I have to solve a fucking Captcha every fucking time I click on a fucking link I want to slap your face

The senior programmer at work commits so rarely that in 3 months I committed more than him in 3 years (e.g. 0 times in September)...

What’s the point of having a repo on bitbucket if most of the time the latest code version is only on his machine?
And why I have to recreate and repopulate the db every fucking time because he made so many changes to the structure, which of course conflicts with mine?

Carrying my fucking team each and every fucking time...

Manager: Morning Alex, how are you?

My Brain: I'm fan-fucking-tastic, I've had 1 hour of sleep, hurt my back, feels like my tail bone is broken, struggling to walk, every piece of code I've written for the past 3 day's has been a complete waste of time and I'm at work...

Me actually: Good thanks .-.

Today for the 4th time I explained to my colleague that just because the front end app can perform validation doesn't mean the backend shouldn't. Every fucking time for all of them.

Every single fucking time I run into problems, the problems are very specific edge cases of common problems.

The search results however, are created by an army of retards, they're a sea of answers to the common problem. They drown out my super specific edge case.

And then someone dares to half-read my stackoverflow question, and immediately mark it as duplicate.

Ugh.

My desk... Every, fucking, time...

Everyday I fell my soul being sucked by this job.

We have too much liberty and it's all scattered, every fucking project uses a different framework.

Everything is a mess, no one seems to care and I'm feeling like shit for being the only one that seems to care.

Every time I start job hunting I fell depressed because of this nonsense bullshit they call job requirements.

Just wanna run away from this mess and never look back.

Every time a distro defaults my editor to nano, I lose a brain cell. Why, why this crappy abomination of an editor? Distro maintainers, default to proper vim for an editor like real men! Fucking hell!

I'M A BEGINNER AND I JUST WANT TO CODE, NOT WASTE FUCKING 5 HOURS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHY SPYDER WOULDNT FUCKING INSTALL ON AN ENVIRONMENT IN ANACONDA. FUCK.

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN EVERY TIME I TRY TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW. EVERY TIME SOMETHING HAS TO FUCKING BREAK.

Fucking fuckers on Stack Overflow...

I kind a use SO every fucking day, helping people with horrible formatted (don't even start about content) questions, and then when I got a single fucking question once all three years, no fucking cunt out there is willing to help.

Some dumbass even downvoted my (in my eyes) total reasonable, perfectly formatted, good written question.

I fucking hate it, that I spend so much time on that fucking platform, whilst nobody is giving me some help.

Fucking fucker cunts....!!!!

I've fucking got about 2,5k rep, I fucking know, in what fucking dimensions I can ask a fucking question.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Fuck you Windows 10 and your fucking mandatory updates that fuckes up every fucking time! Fuck you and your fucking inability to update beyond 71 fucking percent! This is the last fucking time you waste my time, your fucking out! Fuck you!!!

FML, I hate projects where managers (and other developers, too!) irrationally think that the only thing to do in the codebase is delivering new features and fulfilling change requests.

After 5 years of such approach, the code is bloated, and has hack-on-hack done against the original architecture, and management complains on the time to delivery a change, however asking them to get some time to "refactor" meets a deny every single fucking time because "we don't have budget".

Decided to leave the team. Any reason to stay there longer?

Backend colleague : the API is online. It's tested and working, you can start the dev.

Me trying to manually call the API with all the fields pre validated : "error : invalid fields"

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME !

To all the backend developers : we are NOT your personal testers, and we are NOT supposed to clean your mess because you're too lazy to FUCKING TEST THE HAPPY PATH!!!

Thank you for your consideration.

Not sure why but every time I open that featureful piece of Zuccshit called Facebook, it never fails to make my blood boil to even higher levels than it did last time... Fucking curse of the internet, data mining, Zuccy piece of featureful trash!

Now I know for sure that my coworkers can't read error messages.

Every fucking time git doesn't push or pull properly they can't figure out what's going on, almost one year since we migrated to git ... come on... read the fucking message!

When will Amazon learn that I'M BRITISH! DONT FUCKING SHOIW ME PRICES IN FUCKING USD*, EVEN WHEN I'M ON THE FUCKING BRITISH SITE! WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO FUCKING SIGN OUT AND IN AGAIN EVERY FUCKING TIME TO REMIND IT!?

I'm just trying to buy a raspberry pi zero....

* I have nothing against USD, but I need to swear in order to vent my frustration.

Jesus Christ Reddit really is full of some sensitive ass basement dwelling retards. God forbid someone doesn't contribute to the circle jerk mentality that literally every fucking subreddit has.

I bet SO users spend their free time there.

If I had a penny for every time I misspelt 'nginx', I'd be richer that Bill Fucking Gates.

Could you have picked a more typo-prone name!?

I fucking hate the fact that this group I'm side-hustling for gives maintainer access to every shitty dev they have.

Dev pushes four commits directly to master branch. Each time, pipeline fails on unit tests.

Shithead ignores failed tests and manually deploys to stage anyway.

Fuckface then declares (in group chat) that her "fix" works on stage and proceeds to merge to RC branch without updating the fucking unit test.

Pipeline fails (of course) and remains unfixed for the last EIGHT FUCKING HOURS.

This is what I woke up to at 6-fucking-AM in the god-damn morning.

*insert multiple expletives and insinuation of mother's excessive girth by comparing waistline to equator

My ISP can suck the biggest, sweatiest pile of dicks.
First of all, our normal service is garbage (1mb down, 0.1 up).
On top of that, for some reason, the Internet access goes down for a few minutes every time the public IP changes (2-3 times a day) which is fucking annoying.
And THEY FUCKING BROUGHT FIBRE TO MY NEIGHBOUR (20 METRES DOWN THE STREET) WHO IS AN OLD COUPLE WHO HAVE 0 INTEREST IN THE INTERNET, BUT THEY REFUSE TO BRING IT TO ME.
Fucking Vodafone, get your shit together.

I secretly wish everything at work fails because everyone is so fucking stupid every time it makes me cringe when I have to talk to someone or watch someone explaining something to me.

Everything seems to lack planning and focus, our PMS act more like clients than like managers, its a total fucking mess and I have to clean some of it this week.

It's getting so much on my nerves that I had to open my whiskey for the first time this year, damn.

FML

Worked on these amazing production projects during my time at the internship. Now that I am about to leave, every fucking thing that can go wrong is going wrong.

Why can't I just leave in peace :(

I seear man fucking shit php devs make it hard for people to appreciate the language.
To start, i don't think there is anything wrong with php. As a language I know damn near all of its pitfalls and have successfully deployed huge applications with minimal fuss.

The thing is...this shit seems to happen only when I AM THE MOTHERFUCKER THAT DOES IT

In any other scenario i am constantly cursing the original author under my fucking breath hoping that they choke on their own dicks. Fucking cunts.

Really man, some of the fucking code i have seen. This shit is dangerous as fuck and i can't believe that in 2019 motherfuckers would not have the decency to google for best fucking practices or learn it from a fucking book and shit.

Writing proper php code is not that fucking hard people, every fucking update to the language, every fucking tool that comes out is for the betterment of it.
Guess proper oop or functional paradigms are too complex for some dickheads. Hell, not even top to bottom procedural code.

Fuck me. Good thing is, boss is happy, the entire faculty is happy, the board is happy. Everyone is motherfucking happy.

Dez negroids better remember this shit cuz I just asked for a $20k raise.

I got a raise literally every time i ask for one so this one better make the cut.

Fuck shit php developers man. Y'all don't deserve the language, y'all make the language look bad, y'all make the community look bad.

Fuck you, die and eat a dick. Do all that shit in whatever order you prefer.

git add -all
Error: did you mean '--all' (with two dashes ?)

Every.
Fucking.
Time.

Why in the goddamn fucking world do I not fucking commit the fucking code every time there is a motherfucking major change

I really, really need an office. Today I've been in a meeting for 2 hours with my mum hoovering in the background and my sister playing the entire fucking soundtrack to Chicago. FUCKING KILL ME!!!

Every time I fucking talk all you can hear is "'n' all that jazz" in the fucking background.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOREEEEE D'X

I just came back from a meeting to a project that integrates some companies to achieve the project goals.

There was this "computer/data scientist" (his words) that every time he talked I just wanted to punch him in the throat.

Look, I'm not saying he isn't good or anything. He can be a fucking genius, I don't care.

But he talks as if he is the smartest person on the room, fucking annoying.

Oh, my boss never fails to amaze me...

Every fucking time he talks about changes to someone outside the team he says something like:
"we always gotta be prepared for breaks because it is always like that, you change something here and when you see you broke something there"
All in a manner that *tries* to bring tensions down.

And every time I explain to him why the fuck automated tests are important and wtf they do he always manage to understand it as a waste of time...

I'm never gonna give up, motherfucker.

Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.

Fucking google

Sometimes in the middle of the night I have awesome design ideas (for logos, UI, etc.), so I wake up, turn on my PC, open Photoshop/Illustrator/XD, and try to reproduce the thought making it a real thing.

Every fucking time the result is garbage…

Every single fucking time I re-install windows. It was IE before now it is Edge 🤣

Fucking fuck fuckity keyboard autocorrect on windows (and on osx): NO FUCKING THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, STOP FUCKING AROUND WHILE I WRITE

I turned off fucking autocorrection on windows 10, I write an email in french, and every word that has a similar spelling in english gets autocorrected FUCK YOU OUTLOOK, FUCKING RESPECT MY FUCKING SETTINGS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CODED SHIT PILE OF SHITWARE

So much time lost correcting and recorrecting.

Oh, also: a phone is a fucking phone, a computer is a fucking computer, not the same device, not the same behaviours, fucking get that you fucking companies

The entire fucking internet is an unusable pile of shit. Why is it that every time I click on LITERALLY ANY link on google and I start reading, 2 seconds later the text shifts to an other location because the fucking font loads, 3 seconds later it fucking moves again because a god damn ad just loaded above it, and after all the loading bullshit is done it shoves a fucking cookie banner (that usually covers half the page) and a fucking newsletter popup in my face. This makes it literally impossible to quickly read someting on a website without interruption. It's fucking 2020 and we bout to put a fucking man on mars, yet the technology still isn't advanced enough to make the internet less fucking annoying.

my 8 month old on her stroller at the grocery:
*cries in screaming*
*is scared of unrecognized faces*
every single old person we pass by:
let's grinstare this thing right on its fucking face.
baby: *cries harder*
old fuck: uh oh, time to go

.NET drinking game:
* Drink every time IntelliSense refuses to tell you what the actual error is because it's too busy choking on lambda syntax from a decade ago
* Take a shot every time you discover a closed, unresolved Github issue discussing your current showstopping build/CI problem
* Finish your drink every time the solution to your problem involves either manual edits to your CSPROJ (or whatever) file, or creating a new project altogether and copying all your fucking files over

You've got to be a masochist to be a javascript/typescript developer.

Each time I come back to the npm-related parts of my project, the application won't start because of some dependencies nonsense. And I know for sure I left the project working perfectly last time.

Every time... every fucking time! Just leave the project unattended for a week and be sure you'll find it dead next time.

I mean I as a developer don't really have to do ANYTHING for my code to break.

How can people love javascript is a mystery to me.

WHY???
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING SURPRISED SHIT HITS THE FAN EVERY GOD DAMN TIME A CHANGE IS MADE IN YOUR LIMPING SYSTEM?
YOU GAVE NO FUCKING SPECIFICATIONS NOR ANY CARE TO DECIDE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT IN IT.
EVERY TIME I SEE THE CODE I GET EYE CANCER, DEBUGGING THIS SHIT IS AS HARD AS FINDING THE FATHER IN A HOBO STREET ORGY
AND YOU FUCKING THINK ADDING FEATURES INTO THE SYSTEM UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES IS SO GOD DAMN EASY.

I hope life's god damn dandy for you, get fucked with a pipe bomb.

Oh, hello DevRant, sorry for sitting on the fence for the past months.

Is every fucking government website in the world designed as if only half-dead soul sucked people with infinite time and dedication to decipher the jumble will visit them, or is it just exclusive to India?

Seriously, shell out a few more bucks to your wed-designers. Will save you years worth of frustrated users's curses.. 😡😡

Every fucking time I got to geeksforgeeks for an algorithm, it's fucking wrong. Fuck that site.

My fucking campus building.
Really. Built a new one in 2017, we started to study there since Oct 2017 til now and lemme tell something: it's shit. My classroom's paint cracked 2 months in. My classroom lacks a projector which is standard for every classroom to have one back in the old campus building. But nooope. No projector for 1.25 years, at least by now compensated by a 50" TV which whoever the fuck installed the thing took the *only* stock HDMI cable. Shitty floor tiling (think r/mildlyinfuriating but worse), shitty toilet that would break down every 2 weeks and "over the top" gymnasium with air ventilation so bad it feels like Hitler's fucking oven every time we got in.

We are on a tight deadline and EVERY FUCKING TIME I see, my fucking boss is developing new features for the product... WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?

I just want to make it clear to all of us here...

Not every goddamn thing is a bug from X or a bug from Y most of the time I, Us, We as programmers fucking make mistakes or don't know the issue because it's vague!!! IT'S NOT A FUCKING BUG!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

IT FUCKING WORKS!!!

I tried so long on getting my new Netty based webserver up and running, I think I grew my beard twice... But NOW ITS WORKING!

Need to delete a few unnecessary functions that I needed with the old web server, implement SSL. And I can finally release a version of my framework ❤️❤️❤️

And I might put up one standalone version because - it's the same freaking server every time so I am fucking loving to export it ❤️❤️

Do you wanna be a software engineer at Google?

Go to AlgoExpert.io. Pick a question. Read the prompt. Write some code…

JUST FUCKING STOP

Fucking shitty ad popping up every time I watch anything even remotely related to tech or science.

Why does MS need to be such a scumbag with Windows updates?
Every now and then, this unskipable blue setup screen appears and forces the user to make some decisions.

"Do you want to set Edge as the default browser?"

"Do you want a 360 subscription?"

The usual crap.

But it‘s not skippable!

You have to make a decision and the UI for "fuck off" is different for every decision.

You can‘t just press the Nope button every time.
It‘s fucking deliberate. They want you to spend time on reading their shit and force it down your throat.

And let‘s not forget about people who don‘t know computer stuff very well and are confused by this. Then call us because "the computer isn‘t working again."
And you can‘t tell them to skip this slimy rotten vomit of a marketing weasel because you need them to tell you what the options are for each fucking decision screen.

😫

I have a friend that every 2 days posts stories of her being in a club or something similar, dressed up and make up everywhere, with lots of drinks and shit like that. Girl has 0 skills and is living on the money that her dead parent left her. Honestly, shit looks fucking exhausting.

I hate clubs and being out with people. I do love drinking and having a good time... but every 2 days for it to be something? man I already feel tired and it ain't even my life.

Damnit! Every time! Our UI Dev asks us to change the API every time he wants something different!

The API is backend -> business logic. You don't change your business according to what fucking color you want on your site!

Sad part is since he's senior I don't want to tell him off

I sometimes feel Windows keeps on pushing useless updates, just to mess with the users. Change a single line of code (or rather just add a comment) and push the entire module as new.

How can it be everytime I boot on my windows device, it has an update.

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.

Same goes for you steam.

You know that figurative bonner you have when working on new/exciting projects?

I used to be like that here...
Today I realized that I lost it a long time ago...

That sucks hard, every little script I do on the side I feel excited , every functionality I develop on the job is a fucking mirror of some other shit that no one uses on another mirror project that brings nothing new to the table.

I am so bad at web designing (and hate it) that every time I start a personal project, 90% of the time that the project is not finished is because of designing. Of that fucking CSS.

Gj Mastercard! My card just got blocked because every time I want pay and 3D secure code is needed, every first SMS that day is delayed by 5 minutes so session expires and I have to try again...now it happened quite a few times and card got blocked. Fucking shit...

!rant

I bitch a lot about the complexity of Rust. But every time I do it I go ahead and applaud just how fucking good the compiler messages are.

A fucking thing of beauty.

MOTHER FUCKING VISUAL STUDIO!
This S.O.B keeps crashing every time I attempt to open a fucking .aspx file. How the fuck can a company make an IDE that takes a shit every time I attempt to open a file that uses a language created by the same FUCKING COMPANY.

FUCK IT I am going home early.

as a C# dev every time i have to code something in JS i'm just ranting because

- no types
- no fucking errors

i tried to move a Oval in an HTML5 canvas via Drag and Drop and after one hour I gave up...

such a fucking creepy broke language..
as a proof, if js wouldnt be that fucked up why is there typeScript, CoffeeScript, Brython, ... ?

Cant wait to finally use WebAssember...(really)

Just realizing now that I've probably spent 60% of my programmer age (years of experience) waiting for dependencies to install and praying that the 9 kB/s connection I'm struggling with remains alive every single fucking time otherwise I have to start the wait all over. 😡😡😡

HELL FUCK AND HELL YEAH AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME!
Why? Well... You maybe remember that I Posted a Rant where i said that i Stream EVERY 3D Print i do. And... That I wanted to make an Easter Bunny, that failed... Failed Horribly... and thanks to the Fact im streaming everything i could just REWIND the footage AND FOUND THE ERROR! AND IM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT I DID THIS!
GOOD DOCUMENTATION IS A MUST FOR EVERYTHING!!! DOCUMENT YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE! JUST FUCKING DO IT!

Why the FUCK is he behaving to be the next Steve Jobs. And how on earth he can believe that being aggressive , shouting, fucking everyone every time and shitting around is insanely not even close to Being Steve Jobs. I want to fuck this bastard to death. Fuck you asshole.

I'm preparing a major deployment & what do I see?

SOMEONE MANUALLY EDITED PROD AGAIN

IMO they deserve to be hit on their hands with a stick every time they even think of fucking with it.

> Click on a rant. Read, interact, enjoy.

> Click "back" button.

> Feed reloads. Back to the top.

Fuck this shit. Every fucking time!

OMFG!! My computer rebooted.. after VS is again performing voodoo stuff on my code..can you please fucking stop reformatting everything!? OMG it's driving me crazy, I've already disabled every format option I could find.. you piss me off one more time, I'm switching to np++!!!!

If only we could only download the entire internet and cache it in a disk at home

THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING RECONNECT TO READ SIMPLE DOCUMENTATION EVERY FUCKING TIME MY INTERNET DROPS

I'M NOT DOWNLOADING A MILLION DEPENDENCIES I'M JUST READING STACKOVERFLOW, FIX THE INTERNET FUCK

> Drinking much because it's a hot day.
> Have to go to the toilet
> Cleaner is cleaning the toilets so nobody can go.

Every fucking time gaaaarh

Every fucking gnome update breaks my extensions every fucking time

Much obliged if you stop reloading the folder and searching it every five fucking seconds you fucking cunts.

Good god damn this fucking 'feature' of windows 10 grinds my fucking gears. I hit 'x' to stop seeing the visual distraction of the fucking green loading bar when the folders already loaded. Same thing with music. All I want it to do is open and play my fucking song.

Does it do that?

No instead it spends precious cycles updating fucking indexes or sprinkling crack rocks on the corpse of my cpu or whatever cycle fairies at fucking microsoft programmed it to do while wasting my fucking time.

I wish I had a brick and a microsoft programmer within throwing distance, I'd be sorely tempted to nail the motherfucker square in his fucking big fat melon.

Cunts.

fuck count: 8

CSS, I fucking hate you.

I fucking hate my job, because of you. I'm pulling my hair out every day, all day because I have to put up with your bullshit. If it weren't for you, I'd probably enjoy design.

You're not even programming. You're the mistake that happened when web-design developed too rapidly for the devs at the time to keep up and produce intuitive, functional tools. That, or they were just fucking sadists.

You're a band-aid that's started to rot, but we just keep sticking pretty stickers over you and pretending like the wound isn't festering.

I wish I could spend more time learning C and C++. Then I could go get a real job as far away from you as is virtually possible.

. . .

Look, just this once - just for today - could you please do what I fucking ask you to. I mean, I'm just asking you to do your fucking job. That's all.

FUCCKKKKK WHY DOES LINKEDIN HAVE TO REFRESH THE FEED EVERY TIME I SHARE A FUCKING ARTICLE! NOW I HAVE TO SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN YOU MORONS! WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY LIFE HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE??!!

every time I need to deploy an iPhone app on the fucking AppleStore: WTF

#include<stdio.h>
int main()
{
printf("True. True. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.\n");
return 0;
}

This, fucking, designer. He has no fucking clue what he's doing. Every minor fucking thing has to be a new fucking screen.

Toast notification? Snackbar? At least dialog? NOPE, WE NEED A NEW SCREEN.

Lead fucking designer my ass. Wasting everyone's time flapping your dick around.

Windows is THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OS ON THE PLANET! All I wanted to do was hook up an HP Spectre laptop running Win11 to a Vizio 60 inch TV. Every time I try to do this it's a crapshoot as to whether it will work. Sometimes, it comes right up as a duplicated display. Not tonight! It flashes for a second and shows the duplicated display, and then it disconnects. EVERY tutorial says use Win + P to select the display mode and it just doesn't fucking work. I've even gone as far as editing the registry to try to make Windows forget old settings. This is BASIC functionality at the end of 2023 and Microsoft FUCKS IT UP! THIS is why I use Linux/MacOS. Because those work every time.

I swear to god Web Designers make the same fucking design every time with a few changes.

I feel like there should be "dev recruiter" position that people with developer skills could fill. Every time I go to an interview, I just know the person asking me dev related stuff has no fucking clue about anything I'm saying, it's printed all over their faces.

A good developer almost instantly knows if you know your craft or not.

Let's not keep wasting everyone's time

WhaT DO you DO oUTsiDE oF wORK? tell ME SOmETHiNg INtereStInG, PreFerABLY noT RelaTED To yOUR joB Or iNdUStry.

You think I have "time" outside of work? I fucking huff copium like every other fucking wageslave, and we ain't fucking friends so I'm not going to divulge the exact types and flavors of choice for me to be judged.

I don't have the time, money or energy to fucking have some respectable instagrammable hobbies for your stupid like about wanting well rounded people.

We both know all you need from me is to not be an asshole.

At a certain point it feels like the industry is going to compete with girls for shit-testing people except we have whiteboarding leetcode as well.

Is there any other software more fucking bloated than Skype? Fuck you Skype, for constantly freezing everytime I start chatting, making me take my precious hands off my precious keyboard and use the fucking...... __mouse__ to fucking click into the text box, THEN start chatting. EVERY FUCKING TIME. Whoever is working on that team, please get your head out of your ass and fix the laggy bullshit you've created. Thank you.

Every website with a newsletter that you can't unsubscribe with just one click, but instead you have to log in, and go to settings, and select the fucking unsubscribe option, should be BANNED from internet!
In most cases this kind of website is unusable with a smartphone, or at least only the settings page is not responsive, to make it more difficult to fucking unsubuscribe.

I'm trying to unsubscribe from a fucking website since 2016, but every time I open the email with my smartphone it's just impossible to do it, and I forgot every time to do it when I'm using a PC.

Now, after a few months I received this fucking SPAM when I was using my PC, but I forgot my password, and the recovery password option just doesn't work, so I still can't do it!

If you're one of these fucking developers, there is a special place for you in hell.
Even if the decision to make it so fucking dumb isn't yours, you are still accomplice, because you should have leave this fucking job.

Ever work on a codebase that's so shitty, that if you do something in a generally accepted and expected way the entire product shits the bed? Cuz that's the situation I am in. Been working on the same fucking feature for like 4 sprints because it keeps being sent back because every time I adjust it to the shittiness that is currently in the baseline, someone changed something and it explodes again. And the worst part is that this is a well known and established problem. Basically every engineer, except the guy who wrote it of course, hates this system. Hates the baseline, and hates the platform. Yet I'm the one who is "losing trust" with the team, even though I get my shit up and running early all the time. They just break the foundation every time.

youtube's autoplay algorithm has made me discover some interesting gems on the internet.

but fucking damn it if it doesn't like to replay the same 15 songs you like. every fucking time.

like you know I like this band. SHOW ME OTHER SONGS OF THIS BAND GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. I KNOW I LIKE THESE 5 SONGS ALREADY.

why the fucking fuck no one, no one explains their problem
It's just the same every fucking time, 'It is not working'
How the fuck'd I know why it's not working.

Me: Writes down 'npm install '

Me: Copies the install command and pastes it

Me: Run 'npm install npm install package'

Every fucking time

Sick and fucking tired of this bullshit.
Previously worked with Laravel, used 'gulp watch' to watch for changes in assets and now they changed things for the better of Laravel Mix as a fucking wrapper for webpack. Now I have to do shit load more stuff to get gulp working, 'cause otherwise my 'npm run watch' shits itself every fucking time I run that shit, doesn't matter what fix is aplied. Battling that bullshit for 3 days now and shit's not working anyhow. Stupid fucking bullshit. Sorry, had to let it out from myself.

Right, I get that you prefer light theme. Understood it the first time you told me, even though I've never asked you. But why the hell do you feel the urge to whine and whinge about it literally every fucking time you stroll behind me and see my beautiful dark-and-pastel-colored ide?

Why have so many fucking websites the signup form in the start page but you have to click in the menu to get to the login?!
I signup only once but I have to fucking log in every single time I go to the page!!!11
Annoying...

FUCKING MICROSOFT IIS SHIT.
I'm a .NET dev since 13 years and EVERY FUCKING TIME STUPID IIS MOTHERFUCKER AND STUPID WINDOWS SERVER have a different problem setting up because of some permission.
You can't never get a site up in IIS without loosing time and patience having weird 400/500.x errors because every fucking machine have to set up some tweaky and hidden permissions.
I have 2 identical fucking win servers and deploying a .NET core applications and on one works (test server) and obviously, on the production server it gives troubles.

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FUCK YOU I would take the IIS devs personally here and whip them to death until they don't resolve the fucking thing

How many times will you say hi to me when we're passing on the stairs for nth time? How many 👋 will you send me in one day at almost regular intervals? I'm not a fucking rest api. You don't have to generate a fucking oauth token every time you pass me some information. I have a fucking state and it's getting distracted by too much human interaction

FaceTime is not instant access in to my space. I can ignore that too. Every time you want to tell me you've sent me the logo sets me back 15 minutes. Do I really need to fucking see you to tell me that shit. It's not for you to reel off a load of requests either... when you have finished don't you here me say "put it in an email and I'll get back to you". Stop wasting my fucking time. FaceTime.

Why is almost every Wordpress Theme company I know just a bunch of wrecked mushroom addict assholes! Please for gods sake just get your damn documentation right and stop sticking your heads into your colleagues asses when someone is asking for support.

The next time you receive 49 bucks for nothing you dipshit think of me how I stick my fist into your ass!

Fucking morons!

Roses are red

Boost I need you

You do so much I cannot breath

You fucking need to be hacked around every time I have to compile you for a different compiler or VS version getyourshittogheter fucking hell it makes me hate you

I fucking swear the power goes out in my small ass town once a week. Every fucking time it knocks my servers offline. I’m about to sue the fucking power company. This is fucking ridiculous.

Yes they are on UPS, they were also on backup power until the fucking maintenance guys decided “on they don’t need on the generator...” you fucking cunt!

Will these fucktards just FUCKING FIX EDUROAM! alright it's a WiFi network that works across the globe and there's challenges with that BUT DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO MANUALLY RECONNECT EVERY random amount of time!!! I'll shove that fucking MSCHAPv2 down you fucking throats with that sweet sweets PEAP sauce bloody arseholes.
What do you fucking mean it works fine? NO IT BLOODY DOESN'T! Get your shit together and at least handle DHCP leases correctly and make them not expire every fucking minute!!

Also, how the flipping fuck does connecting to the eduroam VPN from within fucking eduroam make it more stable? Only ever so slightly though. Incompetent pieces of dick sucking craptards don't make me have to bring out the ethernet jack EVERY FUCKING TIME at school for christ's sake.
No, it doesn't make it my problem because I'm running Linux. Look on the Internet. The forums are fucking filled with people having issues and your docs are from 5 years ago so please kindly FUCK Off!!!

Every time i fucking open aws billing i get such anxiety and depression and a big Fucking mood killer until i wait for the billing stats to load. Such a waste of fucking shit money for shit overpriced manipulative conman service go fck urself jess bozos

"what's the update?" - Team Lead

For every fucking idiotic task given, every 3 hours, as if the world is gonna end, while all you did in that time was have a tea, chat for a while, send a few mails, sat with a few co workers and checked up on them.

And then he gives me all these "tricky issues", which are apparently critical, and demands updates with a higher frequency! Never sat with me to solve even one of them. Not one.

I never thought that I lacked the basic common sense to update you as soon as I fucking have one.

Ooh, also loop in the senior manager right before annual appraisal. There goes my hike!

Initialize List ✔️

Initialize and hydrate DTO ✔️

Forget to add DTO to List and wonder why my list is returning empty?

Every fucking time!

To every fucking site with an .io domain:

Next time, hype a cheaper TLD...100$/year is just not reasonable...

I can’t understand why every time I work for a multimillionaire company that sells their product to thousands of companies, when I start to debug this fucking product it crashes because of the absence of simple input checks... wtf

“Can’t divide by zero”
“Null everywhere”

Every fucking time I explain why we should do things according to X and instead of giving arguments I'm only presented with "that won't work here" ...
Every time we are on a hurry because we don't do X ...
Every time we are delayed because we don't do X ...

I get less and less motivated to be here...

Soon they won't hear me saying anything and will keep wondering why everything just melted after I left...

Every bloody time I respond to a comment, devRant asks me to add my 2 cents. I only have pence here, and there is not fucking coin slot!!!! 😡

I tried the lighting port, it doesn’t fit.

Is anyone else experiencing this pay wall?

Have been playing the pirated version of Rust for 30+ hours with no issues.

Decide to buy the game and every fucking time the game turns into Chrome and consumes all my RAM forcing Windows to show the low on memory dialog.

Lesson learned I guess.

I've never installed games on my phone (except one or two for testing, from the beginning of my use on phone)

But Google keeps fucking suggesting Games every single time I open Google Play.
And no, it's not just one or two suggestions, it's the all fuckening screen full of games..

I'm not fan of games.. good work google and AI and alll stuff

Disney Fast Play is a fucking lie.

Every god damn time racing to find the remote before “Fast Play” kicks in with like 17 minutes of fucking unskippable previews.

Fuckin’ Mickey Mouse hat mother fuckers.

every fucking time I use Javascript.
(yes, I'm no expert, but I can pick up ANY LANGUAGE and do this task in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, NOT AN HOUR!!! FUCK!)

"Gee, I think this button should probably list the total recipients of the mailing, looks like I have to get the total of a column in an object, no problem, hell, i'll do it frontside just for the fuck of it'

yeah, seemed like a good idea.. AN HOUR AGO

ARRRGGGH

fucking javascript scope can take a flying leap off of a tall building, and then NOT FALL to the fucking ground because it will fucking tell me that OOPS gravity doesn't exist for javascript!
UNCAUGHT REFERENCE ERROR
right?
FUCK YOU
die from gravity like you deserve motherfucker

Every FUCKING time iOS releases a version update, I have to update my Xcode, my code to the latest swift, my third party libraries..
Do you feel my pain , Apple?

Every time i got fired. So thats 6. At least in the past ten years. Every time i saw colleages get fired. So double that. Every 10nth job interview i went to. Maybe i should say i doubt my dev future every single fucking day.

And so.. I have noticed.. every time I ignore Windows updates for a little while.. the laptop just starts shitting. It gets so fucking slow that you can’t even move the cursor properly. So you have to force shut down the laptop and turn it ON.. and Windows starts updating!

Not at all irritating 😊

GOD I FUCKING HATE UNITY AND FUCKING C# SO MUCH
EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE IT DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT IT TO IT'S LIKE "mmmmmm nah lmao" LIKE FUCK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FOLLOW FUCKING 3 LINES OF CODE NO MATTER HOW I PUT THEM OR ORDER THEM YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM

"You're the kind of programmer who pushes windows update every fucking time I need my pc".

When your colleague doesn't add a dependency to package.json and the distribution stops working.
Am I the only one who has got such idiot colleagues? It blows my head every fucking time , I wish I could kill people.

The marketing department must be run by wild butthurt fucking monkeys... Bloody idiots do you even know the word " controll"?! It's a simple fucking thing instead of wasting fucking 2,5hrs of my time which could been put on.. oh I donno more productive work?!?

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Fuck sake.. 2 numbers... 2 numbers on almost every fucking article was wrong and you couldn't even check these in the fucking program BEFORE asking me to fix the images for these and upload? No I had to upload everything only to later noticed that you cunts gave the wrong numbers .... Butthurt wienerschnitzel 🖕

I hate those persons...

*sigh*

Don't do this.

Person does it.

Don't do it. We are currently overworked and this _must_ be a project every team agrees on. Otherwise it will end exactly like it is currently - a big mess that every team implemented differently.

2 hours later....

Person books time for said project.

Other team lead: Stop working on it. This makes no sense.

Person: yeah... But I needed to clean it up anyways, so I just started cause why not.

--

Me and the other team lead had a 5 min discussion about it shortly after...

Wasn't the first time said person has gone solo rogue *sigh*

Despite that this is driving me (and the other team lead) nuts...

WHY THE FRIGGING FUCK DOES HE ALWAYS DO IT WHEN WE ARE SO FUCKING OVERWORKED....

Really. Every fucking time this mother tugging bullshit kindergarten play.

I think it's the first time that I said: I don't care - I'll just trash his work when we start on the project as a team in 2 months (Yeah... That's realistic. 2 months minimum...).

The universe really has it's way to make me angry.

I hope he stops tomorrow, we really cannot deal with emotional bullshit at the moment.

*gooozfraba*

How can such fuckwads exist....

Listen, i really understand you want to know how much a certain resource is downloaded/viewed and so on. But what gets on my nerves is to sign up my email address every fucking time i want to see your semi-tech-but-actually-selling-you-a-pile-of-sperm-fermented-shit whitepaper . yes i know there is something called disposable email adresses and such... But if stuff is 'free' as you say you have, then make it available free!

Every time i think 'hey, this is actually relevant to my interests, let me read up more on that...' i hit the fucking 'insert your email for a free download'

Fuck off! Put your fucking form in the pits of hell and seal it in a fucking fucking dome next to fucking research subject akira with 99 fucking layers of fucking nuclear blast proof wall domes! I dont want you to fucking send me your fucking spam mails about every ideafart your sales dept has fired becausz they were high on computer cleaner spray tubes and thought 'let's trick those stupid people into our marketing scheme', go and fucking jump into a barrel of highly concentrated radioactive waste!

The only thing you manage to do for me like that is to fucking close the tab i had a slight interest in and never look back again!

Am i the only one getting angry about this?

When will I learn. Every time I try to update Android Studio, it breaks all my shit.

Serves me fucking right.

Your "feature" just became my problem. Your "great idea" is now my migraine. What you did in 300 lines, another team was already doing in 5.

The next time you `brew install...` on your laptop, you should fucking think that the infra team has to install those dependencies, on every server, too.

In less time than it took you to create your code, I could have given you several functions to call. I could have saved all of us weeks of work. Fucking ask cross-team before you cowboy code your next big idea please.

Got a problem you need to be solved, somebody else probably solved it, just fucking ask.

FUCK YOU!!! HOW CANT YOU SEE THAT EVERY TIME I SUGGEST TO SEPARATE OUR FUCKING WORKFLOW WITH FRONT END/BACK END AND TRY TO INTRODUCE AT LEAST SOME MANAGEMENT TO THIS SHIT HOLE ITS MY WAY OF SAYING: look dude, I like it here but fuck you shit face if I have to deal with this fucking CSS bullshit one more time there are going to be delays everywhere ...

Fuck you CSS.

I've been a "firefighter" on our big money-making project for like a year now and probably will be for the next year. Every sprint, fully booked out.
However, this sprint, some people think I have time to brainstorm, learn new tech and attend meetings related to a completely new project.
"Will it done in 2 weeks?"
"How long do you estimate?"
I can knock up a rough version of your fucking application in about a week if someone grows some fucking balls and schedules me some fucking time for it. STFU and stop interrupting my other work. Allocate some time or shove it up your ass so far until you regurgitate it then swallow it again and choke on it.