The Top 20 replies by programmers when their programs do not work:

20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. "You must have the wrong version."
11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
10. "I can't test everything!"
9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."
7. "Somebody must have changed my code."
6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
4. "You can't use that version on your system."
3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"

And the Number One reply by programmers when their programs don't work:

1. "It works on my machine."

  • 10
    And number 0:

    It must be something you did.
  • 3
    #20 is actually just above #1 for me.
  • 6
    Or after quickly fixing the problem, "Did you try clearing your cache?". Almost always they haven't so they think it fixed the issue and say "Oh sorry for bothering you"
  • 2
    @Eat-Sleep-Code I used to sit next to customer support team for our web interface and I swear they only had two answers for any possible problem: #1 solution was to switch the user from IE to Chrome (apparently they weren't fans of FF?!) #2 solution was to clear cache if #1 failed. Step three was escalation to the level two support (idk what their magic sauce was -- different floor)
  • 1
    How come you know me so well? Now am so scared😲😲😲😲
  • 1
    But there's no cursing.
  • 2
    In my room we have that list being showed off. When something don't work we tell numbers
  • 2
    My goto word is "Fascinating"
  • 1
    0. It will not happen in production.
  • 2
    "Ah... OK, that's interesting..."
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