During a random school project.

Me: *Explains why team members idea is bad*

Team member: *Im going to do it like this anyways.*

Me: *add explaination of why idea is bad to git commit log.*

1 week later: some parts of the project dont work like they are suppost to.

Team member: *dude can you help me bla bla....(encounters issue i mentioned regarding his idea)*

Me: *no, i've already got too much on my plate. please, sort it out yourself....*

At the presentation

Teacher: *ask question about problem*

Team member: *tries to blame the problem on me....*

Me: *shows git commit log to teacher*

Me: *passing grade*

Team member: *failing grade*

Justice served.

I've learned that trying to jump into a project without properly understanding everything it will entail is bad.

I recently worked on a project that involved modernizing a legacy system and no one on the team (including me) fully understood how the legacy system worked. This led to us missing a lot of edge cases and attacking the project in a way that really wasn't beneficial overall.

If we had thought about the entire system beforehand and mapped out the legacy system, the project would've turned out much better.

Me: *programming*

Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*

Me: *programming*

Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."

Me: "What, that's stupid."

Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"

Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."

Me: *programming*

Team: *doing absolutly nothing*

Me: "I fixed it!"

Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"

Me: "You didn't ask..."

And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.

Project handover:

"Mmh okay, so what about test coverage?"

Dev: "zero"

Team taking the project "why???"

Dev: "You don't need test if you write perfect code"

Silence in the room... Followed by awkward laugh.

My classmate is a real SAVAGE!!

He (team leader) and his team participated in hackathons several times and kept losing.
He noticed something common about winning team, majority of those team members were women, even if they were non technical and their project was pure bs, they were winning in the name of women empowerment.

This time he came out with a plan, he fired his boys and invited women into his team, and even made one girl the team leader.
Result? HE WON!!!
NOT ONE BUT THREE HACKATHONS BACK TO BACK

AND

His so called women team was invited by Google to pitch their startup idea.

Now, if they gets funding, he's gonna kick out these women and bring back his teammates

I feel like this image perfectly encapsulates the current state of the web development industry. (Image not by me)

I just got dropped from a project for taking 2 days leave. The client was like 'the rest of the team worked fine without him for 2 days, we don't need him!' :(

Team meeting, discussing current project task, dude just slammed his hand on the ground and screaming like a child that he needs help and his taks is more important than others

Fucker got fired 7 months later, took long enough

"Next time, well do it properly from the start." - Every team, at the end of every project.

When your school project team fails to deliver 3 times in a row because of their incompetency and they're the sole reason for your failing grades

Project Leader: the team needs to use Git
Dev team: yeah Git, it will help us a lot
.
.
.
[three days later]
Dev: we send the changes via Dropbox, see you on monday!

A simple, open source Neo4j client written in PHP - help craft project decisions and develop as a team

Professor in college: We have our fest coming up. We need some volunteers for technical team to build website and android app.

*She says that and looks towards guys. Some guys raise hands saying they were interested.*

She didn't look towards girls even though some girls were raising their hands too.

Then she looked at girls finally....and she said "Oh you girls are interested too? We have cultural and decoration team. You can join that. "

I was triggered to next level.

I stood up and asked "Can't girls be part of technical team?"

She said "oh...yeah sure...." With not much hope that I would get into technical team.

But I ended up passing the screening round and got into technical team. She realised at that time that I knew my shit.....

There was even a time when I was in HODs office and she pointed at me and went "She is my student." trying to take credit for me being so Awesome ;)

LOL!

She was my guide for final year project too. We ended up writing a research paper and won best project award as well.

This was a year back. I have graduated and now I am working....
Just remembered....

Refactored a legacy source file and reduced it from 2.8k lines to 300 lines.
Mixed feelings: happy that it is much simpler now and sad that my current project team members never go back to delete unused code.

Testing pending though 😜

Working with a team of 5 for a college project.
Told them how to use GitHub.
Guess what.
Fuck you and fuck GitHub, they are sending me Dropbox links to download project (npm modules included).

I’m out, fuck this class and fuck college i just can’t

Having to argue with team members inside my head.

I have a one-man startup, so I have all these imaginary team members who specialise in different things so that I can concentrate on whatever I am doing for that day.
But it seems my developer side of me hates the manager and UX designer these days for making changes half way through the project.

Oh yeah, and my accountant side thinks I'm spending too much. Fuck you, I needed that money.

!rant

I just wanted to tell you guys:
That after a month or so working on a spaghetti pile of codes, our team finally decided to study and use Git for our project.

I'm so happy right now 🎉

Bus-Factor: A new metric to describe how well kowledge is distributed among the team members by calculating how many of your team members can be run over by a bus without killing your project!

This is how team members coordinates on project 😜

One of the dev in my team literally asked us (other student devs, professor, and a guy from the company we were working with) this question during a weekly scrum meeting:

"Who is this Jason you guys keep talking about? He never showed up to any of our meetings!".

A bit of context: we were 6 weeks (halfway) into our FINAL YEAR PROJECT for a bachelor in software engineering...

I thought at first he was joking...

A day before the deadline.
Project manager decides that we are ready to publish the same app with the iPad version too. Without asking dev team.
+Yep, sure. What could go wrong?
I'll keep you posted.

Kinda cool working on a project where you can talk to the team as you develop/test it 👍

hey there, long time no rant.
remember that manipulative, sociopathic angry manchild turdface PM, the kind that gives you a never ending rant inspiration? the one that got immortalized in like 90% of my rants?

well... it's time for the final update.
i decided to leave the team some months ago. my boss reacted very cool and supportive and suggested topics i could work on instead. when i told my colleague, he decided to leave the team at the same day. we both also complained at HR and added some papertrails about PM's shenanigans.
shortly after, another guy from the team quit and left the company, and i know that it was 100% because of this PM.
so, there were 2 devs left from originally 6 in PM's team.
some other people in the environment of this PM quit, one of his subordinates and someone from a greater project in which the PM's project was embedded.
after some internal investigations and discussions, the PM's team was completely kicked out of this greater project, since after ~ a year, this team was neither able to deliver anything useful nor to define what it actually was what they wanted to provide. instead, they actively blocked the project, solution finding and cooperation between teams. and this is quite very much PM's fault.

the final move came this month when PM got fired. i think, management finally realized that he is a total fraud who has no clue about the whole matter (neither what devices we build nor about software development). or management. or leadership. and that all he can do is produce hot air and bullshit people for some time to make them believe he knows something.
not sure how long he'll still be around, but i'm happy when i don't have to see his face ever again. i'm just sorry for the next company he'll be moving to...

I'm the leader of a team developing a project at my company. Recently I had an accident which required me to have a surgery, and I was out for the last month.

Since it's an important project, our CTO reassigned a Xamarin dev to help my team (in JEE) while I'm out, you know, cause "C# looks like Java". The guy had to write a file stream handler, and - though the guy does a really good job - it's funny to see how desperately he's trying to understand how Java works with streams. Censored because of reasons.

seriously, I know git is not the most user friendly, but really....

I attend to a course in my high school, like, it offers you a technical and a high school diploma in the end of tree years of course, anyway

last year I had this project. I had 4 other people working with me. I suggested we use git as there would be many people working in the project and git would help us manage all the files and get everything together in the end.

they didn't even bother to try learning it, I was like "fuck it, let's go without it", no one did anything till the last 2 weeks. then I was all stressed out getting the code together, manually, and the deadline was close.

In the end I wasn't able to put the chat this guy have made, he got mad and I was like "motherfucker, it would be one damn command `git merge` and your fucking chat would be in the final project"

oh it was great to get this out 😎😀
don't even know if I'm making sense xD

Project coordinator blames our team because client said we failed to "align" with other teams.

Coordinator.
Project. Coordinator.

What the actual fuck.

whenever my team starts on a new project we're all like "okay we're gonna have MEANINGFUL commit messages this time guys"

*5 hours later*

$ git commit -m "go fuck yourself"
[master a7b9de] go fuck yourself
1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 0 deletions(-)

*the Company closes a project and splits us in different teams*

Me: *tells the manager for half a year about feeling extremely bad in the new team which is mobbing me, caling the previous project "shit" (it was not, it simply didn't need to be alive anymore cause we found out cheap alternatives) and not letting me do anything*

Company(half a year later): *sends me into a new project* we don't get why you are underperforming lately.

Me: *full burnout after half a year of being treated as living shit* yeah. Wonder why.

Started working on a new project. One test failed, after unsuccessful tries to fix it, I ask the team lead for advice and help.
The guy takes a look and just deletes the test and says "There, done!"

Development team of two, small company. Project manager is a fucking carpenter. With zero programming experience. also he's also the IT manager. FML.

On the presentation for my database project my team and I showed a NodeJS + Mongo + VueJS project with cloud storage capability, nothing fancy but did everything from scratch (from token auth and system encryption to the frontend CSS and the database) the teacher made some questions and meh'd at it.

Behold team two's project, WordPress with a standard template and phpMyAdmin, teacher loves it because "it's so beautiful"

Guess who just failed that class?

God I love college, it's the best time investment I've ever done and it'll surely pay out.

Fourth day at new job, hired as a C++ developer.
"We think you'll be a good fit in this team!"
It's a huge JavaScript project. I feel lost and confused 😓

Boss: I need you guys to give me an estimate on how long this project will take.

Team: We've put a lot of thought into this, and we think we can get it done in 2 months.

Boss: I need it next week.

Recruiter:

... the bank purchased a 3rd party tool and hired a 3rd party development team to add some features to the tool. That external team hired their own 3rd party team, and now there are 400+ bugs in the system. Would you like to work as a test-automation lead on this project?

Me: Fuuuucck no.

A while back our whole team was really frustrated with the marketing department.

In retaliation we made a new branch for our project called marketing-bs, which was used for all of marketing feature requests.

It's the little wins that keep us going.

Design team gets 3 monts to wireframe, dev team gets 3 weeks to complete the project. IT'S MAGIC #headbang

My company has sort of project team ("FachArbeitsGruppe" in German) meetings regularly and we love our abbreviations so every now and then at work I see an email or document just labeled "FAG". I think there's even a users group called "FAG IT".

I had to create a c++ dungeon 2d game as University project.
The spec said "a terminal game made with char"
I and my team made a real game with anemies boss, and balanced stat in 15 days with Qt (we asked if can use external libraries)
We got 6/8 point for the project cuz we forgot to put protected/private the attribute of the player...

During QA for a huge project when our dev team was confident of the stability of the project, We started introducing small bugs, QA team use to raise bugs in Jira, we marked them as not reproducible.

Frustrated QA started coming to our cubes - at this point dev team worked in a perfect coordination like a man to man marking in hockey. While one dev asked QA guy to reproduce the bug in front of him while the other dev has already fixed it.

Continued for a couple of days till our team lead was satisfied with the revenge.

The project manager and sales team decided to call a meeting to see how long a project I'm currently working will take to finish. Little did they think to ask the only person working on it.

IMHO: all the hate on Katie bouman is absolutely stupid. if you want to blame someone, blame the media for portraying her as the sole person on the project. She never once took credit only for herself and always mentions that it's a team effort. And what the fuck is so wrong that the focus is on the woman engineer anyways? If this was a man, no one would give a shit that he "didn't give credit to his team"

Backstory: Offering manager brings a project through a few months of requirements gathering / feasibility study etc. Project spends 8 months with a R&D team to flesh out. Our team gets 6 months to turn it into a ship able product. 4 months in, offering manager calls a meeting.

OM: ok so you are all working on project X, well I need your input on something

Team: Ok, go ahead

OM: what do you think the app needs to do?

Team: ... I'm sorry?

OM: well we've been looking at it, and we don't think it does very much compared to existing apps. We need a killer feature but we don't know what. Any ideas?

Team: well we were looking at project Y originally, which was a lot more advanced. But you pulled the plug in favour of this.

OM: yeah, believe me customers will want project X a lot more. It just needs to do something interesting ... you know what I mean?

Team: not really, if it doesn't have anything, why did we go for it?

OM: ok I don't think I'm being clear. Point is, if anyone has any ideas let me know, we need to ship it in 2 months and it needs to be killer

I handed in my notice that week and was asked why ... let's just say I told them.

Managers when a developer misses something on a project: “we need to go red fucking alert and schedule several meetings on why this developer inadequacy can never happen again and make sure to record this and make sure the stupid ass devs read all the requirements and use this mistake to offload more of our work onto the dev team”

Managers when they or any other team member misses something on a project: “oh we just made a slight woopsie, just a tiny little miss on our part, a lil fucky wucky, no need to worry”

Before we started a new project, as a team, we set some ground rules like: frequent, small, digestible PRs.

PR#1: 52 files (week 1)
PR#2: 107 files (week 2)

JUST FUCK OFF MATE!!!

This is a somewhat old story. I joined a project in making a 2.5d platformer in Unity. A couple months in, the project manager had decided that this game would have two sequels, an MMORPG, a live-action movie and a web series. He informed the whole team of this decision. One week later, every member of the dev team had left. This scope crept forth from the depths of hell and ruined a simple project. Lesson learned: Keep the scope small and don't bite over more than you can chew.

Edit: I know that you should dream big, but don't make 4 games, a web series and a movie simultaneously.

Sitting in a meeting with the dev team planning our project and thinking to myself "we are completely fucked"

Worst Project: Project Managers that don't trust their team.

Our PM before didn't want the developers included in the client meetup because she said the developers wouldn't understand anything in the meeting.

A month after the proposed deadline after, I free up my time (I'm handling different projects), and I decide to speak with the client to see where thing went south.

Apparently, what our PM promised/understood is far off from what the client wanted.

The project was a simple "show the drivers where they need to go next" mobile app while she promised a "Traveling Salesman Problem"-esque solution.

When new developers join in your team, please make a time and help them to get confidence with the project they will work on. Besides the project's documentation there is a human factor that can make the difference between a just another dev team and a great one.

Seeing on some other posts I wanted to rant about my uni’s computer science community.

Some background: This is a small uni, not like a community college definitely a little bigger. Located somewhere in WV. There is 2-4 girls in every CS class I have had and at least 27-30 guys.

The reason why I mention this is because there is no sense of team work at all. When it comes to exams or projects I take the initiative and make either quizlets (being freaking nice here) share them or take times after school in the library to work on projects. If I have a solution I will share it, I will try to help you in your problem. If I know how to do it of course.

The real issue is all those CS experts that already fixed or finished their programs, the ones on the top of the class. Is as if the moment I ask something related to the project I am already dumb for not have figured it out on my own.

There is the typical CS student that just tries and gives up or just gives up without trying and the other kind of CS student that does that. Doesn’t help anybody else, wants to be on the top all the time.

What I am trying to say here is that it just feels like a competition all the time. (I consider myself in between this two types of students cause I wasn’t born a genius but I do try my ass off on projects) however, I feel like guys see me every new semester in a CS class and think “oh wow how is she still here? Wait did she pass?”

All I say is “yeah I fucking did, with a C or B but here”. So I don’t know, first rant posted 👏🏽🙆🏽‍♀️

I'm task to amend the code smell in the project. I literally can cry a river.
I see such thing as i = i++; - It's flag out as a bug.

I have also seen check in classes. With un-used variables. I literally cried.

In the past, i ask why do i got to care about code quality. I actually start to get angry like the team leads in my project.

being told to lead a team of junior developers for a project when i was 18

i never had any formal CS education so i thought the management was joking, but a week after, i was called into a meeting with the junior developers and we were tasked with a project that needs to be completed within 4 months, with me as the lead

the project was successful and after that im occasionally given the task to lead a project every now and then

this happened a few years ago and its still the most confidence-boosting experience ever happened to me, the things i learned during those 4 months are still applicable to my career today

x comes out.
Team: hey let's rewrite our project using x!

4 months later..

y comes out.

Team: x is so crappy, let's rewrite our project using y!

3 months later...

z comes out...

Team: why did we ever use y, let's rewrite our project using z!

.
.
.

After 2 months of changes the pm finally landed on the solution that the Dev team proposed at the start of the project.

1. Start ur day posting Good morning in #general thread.
2. Say Hello Team in the project group (slack).
3. Have a standup call with the entire team and discuss what everyone would be doing.
4. Evening 6 pm go on another call with the team explaining what you did for the day.
5. Time tracking software should always be on, so we can monitor your keystrokes.
6. Track time on Clickup tasks, as well as move them to appropriate tabs indicating their status.
7. Before u log off, post a detailed report on the group chat about what you did for the day.

Surely, this will increase productivity of the team, right?

I manage a team of engineers.

Toxic Culture Post #2:

Manager: Everybody on your team needs their own swimlane in Jira. Each person's work should be their own lane. When I have a ticket for <Project A> I want to make sure that <Bob> always gets it, all tickets for <Project B> must go to <James>. You'll need to figure out which team member will handle <New Project C> and create their personal swim lane.

Me: That's not really how SCRUM works. Actually, that's not how teamwork works. You're creating silos and we all need to learn how to do these tasks. We're a cross-functional team, and each team member brings their own unique talents to the whole process.

Manager: So you'll create the swimlanes?

Me: No

Manager (to Bob): You'll be devoted to <Project A> from now own. It's the only work I expect you to do. All work for that project will be yours.

Likewise, my manager also reached out to each team member and assigned them specific tasks, furthering the silos.

doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();

Last night me with my team have a discussion with my project team. Currently we have a project for our insurance client building a Learning Management System. The project condition already messed up since the first day i join a meeting. Because since its a consortium project with multiple company involved, one of company had a bad experience with another company. It happened few years back when both of company were somehow break up badly because miss communication (i heard this from one of my team).

Skip..skip... And then day to day like another stereotype IT projects when client and business analyst doing requirements gathering, the specs seems unclear and keep changing day by day even when I type this rant I'm sure it will change again.

Then something happened last night when my team leader force our business analyst to re index the use case number (imho) this is no need to be done, and i know the field conditions its so tough for all team members.

So many problems occured, actually this is a boring problem like lack of dev resource, lack of project management and all other stereotype IT projects had. Its sucks why this things is happening again.

Finally my fellow business analyst type a quite long message in our group and said that he maybe quit because its too tired and he felt that the leader only know about push push pushhhhhy fcking pussy, he never go to the client site and look what we've done and what we struggle so far.

I just don't know why, i know this guy earlier was an IT geek also, but when he leading a team he act like he never done IT project before, just know about pushing people without knowing what the context and sound to me like just rage push!

Damnit, i maybe quit also, you know we IT guy never affraid to quit anytime from the messed up condition like this. Even though we were at the bottom level in a project, but we hold the most main key for development.

Hope he (my leader) read this rant. And can realize what happened and fix this broken situation. I don't know what to say again, im in steady mode to quit anytime if something chaos happen nearly in the future.

doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();

| Me and my team presenting an half-assed AI project to our lecturer.
Note that the algorithm doesn't work and we have a placeholder |
Lecturer after looking only at the UI: The project looks very good, I believe we are done here.
Team member: Don't you want to check the code?
Me: *trying to choke him without anyone noticing*
Lecturer: No need.
Lives were saved that day.

I am on a team of 2 currently at work.

I am assigned to build some custom code for a customer going live with our product soon.

Because my team mate is already working on another customers project I explained the work may not be done in time because we were not given sufficient notice for our team of two to plan for the project.

Sales team contact me later that day asking me why I told our customer we don't have enough resources.

He wanted me to find a better phrase to tell them like "We have half our team dedicated to your project."

Another reason to hate our sales team 🤪

When your team uses both scss & less in the same project

In my current project my team lead created a revolutionary framework, which is capable to automate any manual work..

Here is its source code..

public class AutomateFW {

public Object automate(Object manualWork) {

// Call jr developers and assign them work :)
callFreshers(manualWork);

}

Who in their right mind though it would be a good idea to move the web development team to a new office without checking that the internet is connected.

What a waste of three working days.

And of course the project needs to be delivered by Sunday...

big 2+ years project finally canceled due to failure. About to have a meeting about "the future of the team".
Pray for me.

Project manager asks why server is down. Reminded him that his team lead told me three months ago it was no longer needed.

- I say the project is shit and it'll be hell for everyone involved
- Management says we'll do it anyway
- Project keeps being hell for everyone involved
- Management reprimands the team for letting hell consume us
- I (again) point out the project is hell itself
- Management maintains it's our fault
- I am Tired™️

When I was in highschool we had to make a project in team. A friend of mine said to a girl in his team to override a bootstrap CSS class. She started doing it at home and after an entire week my friend found out that she opened the bootstrap.css MINIFIED and she was indenting MANUALLY to find the CSS class in order to modify it. ( Obviously he taught her about CSS cascading ).
We still laughing.

We have good relations with the Art team in our project.

So I recently had a university project which focuses video game audio. We had to work in groups of 3 students and the task was to create a video game which uses audio as a gameplay mechanic.

Our idea was to create a game where you collect different audio samples which get looped as background music, and you have to select the correct ones to have a nice tune. To make it a bit more challenging we had enemies, guns and grenades plus doors which only open if the correct music is playing.

The guns fire on-beat, and the grenades always explode on the first beat of the next bar.
It was quite challenging to get things synced since even small offsets are noticable.

I wrote some nice code and theoretically it should have worked but for some reason the gun shots and the grenades didn't quite hit the beat of the music.

I tweaked stuff, created workarounds, optimized lot's of code to get execution times down but it still only worked sometimes.

I tweaked more and more only to realize that the timing drifted over time.

At that time I worked 20-30 hours on tweaking and trying to get it perfectly timed.

After recalculating some numbers I realized that all the audio samples are recorded at 135 bpm, but the guys who did the recordings said it was 130bpm.

I asked them if it could be the case that the samples are 135bpm and they said:
"yes, they are at 135 bpm as we told you"

I scrolled back in the telegram conversation only to see that they said 130.
Changing the number to 135 resolved all the problems and all of my workarounds and tweaks weren't needed.

So I worked for nearly 30 hours just because they didn't notice their fault and even when they realized that the timing is off sometimes (which took forever because they never played the game), they didn't even consider that they might have given me the wrong numbers.

This all wouldn't be that bad if both of my teammates had worked for more than 15 hours but they didn't. I did all the hard work and the only single thing they did fucked up my workflow. It fucked up the system I created and it fucked up the gameplay as things got unpredictable. Because of their fucking fault I worked as much as both of them combined IN ADDITION to all the other work I did (built 3 maps, coded everything, created animations, ...)

I love working in teams, but only if the whole team is motivated. Those two fuckers were the exact opposite.
Luckily i found the error so I could fix it, but guess with whom I'll never ever work together again?

I walk into the kickoff meeting today. The first part of this project had 5 developers and a project manager. Former project manager handled communication and sheltered us from bullshit. We built an amazing piece of software in a very short time. Customers were so amazed that they decided to reboot the project, boost the funding by several million, and let us go again. They specifically requested the same team.

Now the team looks like this: the neediest tester guy, a UX lady that doesn't have any UX background, an agile "visionary", a project manager that doesn't understand how development works, a solutions architect, 3 COTS platform specialists, a devops specialist, and an account lead. They have booked all kinds of workshops and other shit to kick things off.

So development capacity is only 60% of what it was. Management ratio was 1:5 before. Now the management ratio is 9:3. The new project manager thinks developers should be on more customer calls and responding to all customer emails during sprints. We already built this system and devops pipelines end to end. The COTS people, solutions architect, or the UX person can't program. They want us to magically convert this custom application into one based on COTS. What we need to do is make the rest of the business processes that we omitted, integrate known feedback, rework the backend, build better automated testing, improve logging and reporting, add another actor to the system, add a different authentication method, and basically work through the massive backlog.

How do they think this is going to work? Do they think we can download a custom engineered enterprise grade software system from Microsoft and double click all the way to customer satisfaction? The licenses alone are too much for the customer on an ongoing cost basis. I guess we can discuss it during the agile team-building weekend at some remote lake that the team "visionary" has set up. For the sake of fuck.

Like development isn't hard enough. Hire two more developers and lose all of the dead weight. Get a project manager that won't let the trivial shit roll down on us. What the fuck.

Took a bit of time, but yesterday I sent in my resignation letter, long and some wat detailed list of grievances against the guy running the project.

Gonna suck to leave the team, but working for that man was tantamount to torture.

He actually gave me a lecture on Monday for not forcing my team to work unesesarry over time, because he can do nothing but make changes. I was also trouble for not doing his job and not treating my team like shit, as he does. According to him, forced overtime, disrespect are just the way leadership is.

This how My Ubuntu desktop look's, where the wallpaper is of the project we(team snappy Robotics) did.

5 of us working for a larger team were tasked with doing some R&D, we blew everyone away and were given funding to start a new team and hire people to make the project come to life.

One of the high level sales / product managers we were reporting to, secretly had another team work on a similar idea because he needed it quicker (i.e. no time for research, just build it).

After forming new team, we were asked to work on his project instead because it was further along. 4 months later, big knob comes to a meeting and basically says "You know what, this doesn't look like we have enough features, we need more, but I don't know what".

Project blew up 2 months later, head of the unit kicked up a shit storm saying how badly everything was planned and canned everything. Now one of our clients is building nearly the same thing we were originally working on, the team no longer exists and i'm back on the R&D team.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the R&D team, actually didn't want to leave in the first place but was told I had to. But the sheer anger and frustration to see that walking cluster fuck strutting around like his shit doesn't stink, derailing entire teams, meanwhile we can't hire new staff due to lack of funding.

Heres an idea, fire the fucktards bleeding us dry ... then we'll have lots of funding.

Me: "hey we should do this new project in react!"
Boss: "no he barrier to entry is to tough for our team"

Boss talks to past employee(which he had to let go because he was a TERRIBLE developer who now works for facebook....) about new project, past employee recommends react....

Team is now going to work on a new project written with react......

So there's a new team member in the project (me & him), he's assigned to make the frontend, which is great since I'm so proficient doing back. But he starts by doing backend tasks and the fucking frontend which is the most delayed part of the project is still untouched.

Every project ever :
Initial plan :
||===================|| 100 %
Actual submission
||==|| 13%

- Not enough money!
- Not enough people!
- Not enough time!
- Not enough resources!
- Hardware not supported
- Software not supported
- My team are useless
- God didn't like it. :/

End of the year. Management announced that the project that our team has been working in for more than 4 years, will be killed.
Shit.

During my internship.
Got wonderful opportunity to present a project to a senior Director of a different team.
And just moments before meeting, my project stopped working.
Was a disaster.
Later came to know there were internal issues in the service I was using in my project.
Though not my fault, but during the meeting, I managed to show a video of the project.
Let me know if folks wants to know what happened later..

The sales team sold a project using our 'innovative framework', which had 'prebuilt components', which we 'only needed to plug n play' with a 10 week deadline. Of course, the framework didn't exist. Guess who was the lucky guy who had to create the framework AND finish the project in 10 weeks? fml...

TEAM PROJECTS IN UNIVERSITY BE LIKE:

You will need to write a paragraph of text, approximately 100 words long.

In order to manage your work more effectively, you must split the paragraph into sentences and each one of you should write one.

Make sure you don't clash with each other, the text is meaningful and it flows nicely.

You have one month: you should meet at least twice a week to discuss how to go about the tasks, review your work and plan ahead.

We will be checking on your progress on a weekly basis.

Most importantly, do not just wait until the last minute and have one person do all the work: that's just silly.

Before starting sprint we gave estimations, while discuss with my team, my project manager also part of the meeting. After three weeks my project manager start give list of tasks like this is API and this is front end and also estimations based on our previous sprint plan.

We pissed off. After that we never include our manager in technical meeting.

FYI - If you're using Google sheets for ball park estimations never give permission to your project manager to edit sheet.

On my project the customer has re-signed into a contract several times when they have budget to continue work. The first time they got us to build the system was a huge success story because the team was assembled quickly and we did rapid development. Initialize repo to prod in 1.5 months. The customer asked for the same dev team. Strong dev team, a PM that doesn't take shit, and pure agile. Lets call her don't-take-shit PM.

When the customer re-signed the executive decided that she didn't like don't-take-shit PM. So the project manager gets replaced by play-by-the-rules PM who will comply with stupid requests and micromanagement. He isn't a bad PM but he tries to make everyone happy. The amount of management types executive installs on the project is massive, and development team is cut down in major ways. Customer and executive shit rolls down to the development team and we can't get anything done. The customer starts to lose faith because we can't get traction. They start demanding traditional waterfall/SDLC docs. Which causes more delay in the project.

So the executive decides that the PM can take a fall for it to save face for the company. She moves play-by-the-rules PM to another project. He starts handover to a new PM that has a history of being her pushover. The customer hadn't seen him yet so now we have push-over PM.

Play-by-the-rules PM is finally out of the project and instead of moving to a different account the company decides to "lay him off because there is no work". So basically they made him take the fall for the failure while promising reassignment, and instead let him go. This is so unfair..

Meeting with push-over PM yesterday and he shows us his plan. Identical to play-by-the-rules PM's plan that got him axed.We point that out and show him the docs that were made for it. His face clearly communicates "OH SHIT WHAT DID I SIGN UP FOR?"

Iran:
Job offer ==>
We need full stack developer for Java, c#, python, angular, flutter, ..
Data mining experience
Project and team management experience for 7+ years

Salary is 500$ per month

As a junior dev I'm really frustrated at work today. My boss wanted us to complete a project within 3 weeks. The project includes a multi-tenant hotel system that includes reservation, invoicing, advanced reports, housekeeping system and an API. I'm starting to feel something about myself, I have no progress. I'm so slow. I love what I'm doing but maybe this is too much.

ps. we're a team of 2

Story time!

I moved from React Dev to fullstack like halve a year ago. Three months ago I became project lead and now I will start to become a team lead.

Holy shit I'm growing fast

As a software house, we have many teams on different projects. One project was due to a Thursday, and the PM asked the team 1 week before if they could work over the weekend since there's a lot of things to do.

On the Friday before, one of the devs showed up a bit later than usual (around 10am), but ok...

After lunch he asked to talk to HR and also the boss. They talked for around 2h, then he started to say "goodbye and good luck" for everyone.

The project was on fire and he just... leave.

On the next 2 months another 4 people leave the company. All from the same team/project (but not with a big surprise like him).

Apparently, the team was constantly complaining to PM and boss about unrealistic deadlines and constant requirements changes, but they didn't did anything about it. Just when more than half this team had left the company they started to rethink this actions to this project and the others on the company.

I've discovered that working with artists on a videogame is the equivalent of the chapter when Homer asks for a wish to a monkey arm on the Simpsons.

- I want a png image of the player on idle position. And I dont want a 30000 x 30000 image, neither an image which half of it are transparent pixels, neither the image not to be centered or any strange thing ok?

*They send the image*

- Normal resolution, well drawn, no visual artifacts centered on the image...

*Tries to import it on the game engine*

+ Can't import .jpg format images

- FFFFFFFF#@€&£$$}•{^÷|CK!

This happened after a year working on the same project on the same engine with the same image format specifications.

I’ve started at a new place - the team use Trello to share code 😳They are happy to zip a folder, upload and download each time a project is updated.

I’ve tried to sell the benefits of Git however some have such conviction that it would be worse. FML.

Yesterday, I and my team built a good hospital management system for Trauma centers containing two apps and two websites.So that the system should contain transparency. But unfortunately, we didn't made a place in top 3 but it was a great experience to build this project with my team.

Senior group project in college.

When you decide to meet up and one member doesn't show up at first meeting.

So I sent an email about the research I did on the feasibility of the project and how to implement a core requirement. 2 days later & no response yet..

Why do I think I'm gonna be the one the pull off the application by myself & then have to put name of people who have no idea how I got it to work..

!rant

I've had a personal project (commercial idea) I've been meaning to get started on for a while, and today I started...

Kudos to the team at Microsoft, they've really gotten .net core and asp.net core to a fantastic place.

And the team at JetBrains have done an amazing job on Rider.

I've been able to get a docker container running SQL Server on linux, as well as Web API projects for an API and an identity server all running with local HTTPS and communicating quite happily, with barely an issue in sight.

Bodes well for the future I hope.

Now I just have to commit to the project and actually finish it 😂

This happened yesterday during 1-2-1 meeting

My dear teamleader telling me.

"You're just a stupid consultant"

Well, this 'stupid consultant' has had enough of your bullshit and will look for future endeavors elsewhere.

You are free to consider your options and make the bad decisions, dear team 'leader'.

Cry at the sheer amount of work 'your' project really entails and I will revel in your failure

I'm done with this guy.

Team leaders should be ousted if they fail their team members and the projects they are responsible for.

There should be a "Did you get latest? There have been 'x' commits since you last opened this project" dialog box when opening any team project.

>be me, working at IBM as CC operator
>onboarding freeze, people leaving team, not enough operators
>take extra workload to sustain monitoring
>no raise
>team gets merged with other CC team(different customers)
>take over of developing full workload automation project
>no raise
>sick coworker, have to take more extra workload to cover monitoring
>get tiny raise
>coworker gets the same raise for only one extra workload
>be expected to do both programming and monitoring for the little salary
>too autistic to quit
>too autistic to confront my mamager with this

What do, devRant?

Some people get ego boost when they get positions like team lead or manager for software development team. In a nutshell you don't know shit about programming how the fuck you became tech lead? You fucked up the entire project that you managed and now shifting blame on someone else. Well fuck you!

Me: hands project in
Team: Is that ours?

I only wish that my agile team comes up with the task breakup and documents the implementation approach to our project, as good as this kid did, while panning for a party!

img source: reddit

Me apprentice 18 years old in germany: I don’t want to go in another team
Also me in the new team after 2 days: playing with my new boss during work CSGO and say everyone we are to busy with the big project

My internship's sprint evaluation is in 2 hours, project is fucked and team is a band of baboons also i am the presenter and lead dev of the project.

Hows your tuesday going?

My worst collab/group project experience definitely has to be my final semester project during my undergrad.

We were a team of 4 including myself and would meet every day to work and every day:

1. My teammates would show up late
2. One of my teammates’ girlfriend lived in my apartment and shed just show up every day and waste our time and make him never contribute (He LITERALLY never did any work and got by with no effort)
3. The other 2 on the team didn’t know anything and never made efforts to learn

I literally did the entire project on my own (Code the full project, make presentations for all the reviews, and teach the other 3 every step of the way).

TLDR: I topped my batch and got 199/200 whereas everyone else were 190 or below, and I went on to publish that project in a Science Journal (Again, with no efforts from the team)

Being the only dev in charge of the project, makes you the one to be blamed for.

The God saviour, shiny armoured back end developer that joined the "team" (only me) to help into this new project Just Said in a meeting:

- "I wont code anything for this new project, I can't get the point of It"

So every meeting was
- "why feature X is not ready?"
- "I'm waiting the endpoint for It"
- "well, then mock It"

Now I fucking give up.
One month mocking things and "presenting" features that don't even exist.

Best team experience?

Well, first I'd like to mention that after some more experience in the field since, I realize that this company had some pretty terrible management infrastructure...

Nonetheless, I think my best team experience had to have been during my first programming job because my project manager... WAS A FREAKING DEVELOPER! It wasn't his job to be a developer obviously, but we were a small team essentially developing waterfall style, and he had to pick up the slack now and then for certain issues. The man was a genius and everyone appreciated him because you could talk to him about anything dev related and he would get it. The rest of my team was also very chill too, so it was all in all just a fun experience, stressful as it may have been at times.

I have not since had such a diversified project manager 😟 but then again, not the PM's job to touch code...

"What is your project status? I need an update!"

So spoke the team leader. I was mildly hesitant about just rudely leaving work - which I was about to do, I was literally halfway out the building - without answering and delaying to Monday.

My project leader - the one that is supposed to look after me and my project every now and then - is on vacation. He's also the one, who is supposed to update the team leader.
It's not that we don't talk regularly, apart from his questions every two months or so, he is informed about my project on a bi-to-tri-weekly basis whether he wants it or not.

The team leader on the other hand seemed quite uninformed about my project.
Wouldn't it be nice if people would fucking talk to each other?!

Other than that, I'm learning C# for roughly six months now and today was the day it all started making sense. OO is a concept that is hard for me to grasp - I understand it, but I continuously failed to implement it. (That I have no regular code review right now isn't helping.)

Today, it just clicked.
I feel kind of stupid and in awe at the same time right now. :D

The most annoying co-worker(*team*) I have worked with just signed off a custom project that uses plain text passwords, hard coded into a file.. PLAIN TEXT!!! NO HASH!!! NOTHING!!! The same team also told me that working in feature branches cuts into their productivity, but they want CI/CD implemented NOW!

When the team lead trust on the project,and your like...

Disappointed to be an intern at a place where we were given a website project where I'm the only experienced coder. Not learning anything new and I work all day while my team watches videos.

Have to present a school project I've been working in for three weeks with my team.

My part of the presentation is done, my part of the project is done.
The fucking sysadmin doesn't have his fucking part ready...

ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS SET UP A FUCKING WEBSERVER, IMPORT A DATABASE, EDIT THE HOST FILE AND WRITE A SMALL 2 PAGE DOCUMENT ON THE INFRASTRUCTURE.

Each of the 4 "roles" within the project need to present their own part, guess whose part of the presentation isn't there...

I am so fucking done with this guy and 2 others in the team...

I just don't get how you can spend 1000's of € per year on uni and then not take it seriously.

Working on big project during summer paid intership. A lot stuff I have learned there, not just programming, but also model design, team planning etc.

I fckin love it when you start working on a new project in a new team and the 5000 lines of Angular code are acompanied by 0 documentation.

There was this project where a bunch a scripts had been running for three weeks analysing a bunch of fileshares. The project was in overrun and the analysis wasn't anywhere near done.

I was given complete isolation and a team of people who were instructed to do anything I needed. I had them replicate the data to as many machines as possible and I started scripting the analysis with some sample data. After half a day of collecting laptops, desktops and severs I transfered my scripts to those machines and ran the analysis in 5 hours.

I felt like I saved the project.

"My code" only exists when you work alone on your precious project. Do not carry over that mindset when you work with a team or you will just ignite another endless holy war

I am currently working on a project with a team of 5. I like working at night. After committing my code, I sleep at 6. My team on waking up decides to change the UI and I have to start over again. The irony is: None of them are working with me on the frontend! Feels like I am stuck on a while(true) loop.

I got send to Shanghai with only 2 days of notice, because the Chinese team fuckup a project that's not even mine, and the deadline is coming soon.
Though, I enjoyed the local food

- Pigs flying
- Rats singing opera
- Donald Tump not being a bigot
- Our remote office staff having a clue

... all things I have accepted that are impossible

Project manager pictured with team after deciding to refactor their project from OOP to FP

Who would have thought that slack would be very helpful on a team project. We've been using messenger all the time. Damn it. Where r u during my college days.

i am at the point of deep depression again as a CS student. a few weeks back and forward is a busy weeks with a lot of team projects/research. as always, team project never be as smooth as i expect, I always who be the one who work in the project with the rest of the team and they doesn't even care what the project does.

also a few week forward there will be a Leadership Training, and i just quit from it, why ? because i need sleep. why again ? BECAUSE I AM THE *ONLY* ONE WHO WORK ON THE PROJECT YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT, i am the one who can't sleep everyday working on the project scraping the deadline and class hour.

why i drop important thing (Leadership Training) just to keep me from depriving my sleep and to keep the project up while the team disregard me? am i being too humble yet i just rant about "don't be too humble".

..i...i just... I just can't take it anymore. :( god help me

How does it feel to be excluded from your team even though you've worked so hard to finish the project.

Then there's this guy that doesn't do anything, still gets the glory.

When the most dependable guy on your team resigns right in the middle of the biggest project and your boss gives YOU hell about it. What the mother fuck????

My project manager decided to go full micromanager today. So members of the team have been emailing our manager and the PMs manager to explain why what he's doing is bad both for our deliverables and our moral

one week ago me and my team built an android controlled robot in 2 days from scratch. that was the coolest project this month.

Worst thing to happen as a JavaScript developer is that someone on your team insists on using JQuery in a project using a JS framework like Angular.

An 8 month nightmare project that failed more than it did anything else. With a team of 14 starting out and a 2 month deadline. Project ends Friday the 13th with only myself and another of the original team still left. It's crazy how issues out of our control caused skilled engineers to lose their cool and position and those that saw it through jumped up even though it all failed. Even if the project is horrible sometimes it pays to see it through to the bitter end.

[tl;dr at the bottom]
(Project Team Group Chat)
dev: @Desing team, i have a question, there's a required field missing in you design, can i go to your desktop to get an quick answer/explanation about that?
design team:....
dev: hello..?
PM: [writes a huge text to tell me that i can not interrupt them even if its a blocker and that we (dev team) shoul write them down and tell them only once a day in the scrum meeting]
dev: uuumm ok

-next day-
dev: so about that field, why did you...
Client: WHAT? There's a problem with the design!? oh boy, lets re-check every view right now with the whole team!
(it took like 2 hours, the field was missing just because they forgot that feature)
PM: okay, @DesingTeam, answer any questions from developers when they ask you...

tl;dr
we spent almost two hours with the client just because desing team didn't want to answer me a little question

mfw
> 1 year into project in React.js with a 10+ members in team
> PM panics over last Apache statement
> PM: "fuck, rewrite it in Angular 4 : /"

I just got an email from the project manager:

"Hi Team,
Please make sure to review the 7/12 sprint requests for (x project). Please add your estimates even if the requirements are ambiguous. Thank you."

My boss called my team for a meeting, where he pointed out the difference between "doing what we can" and "doing our best".
He later said he was dissatisfied with our lack of commitment with our latest, biggest project , and expected an improvement.

That would be all fair and well, were it not for the fact that, because of his delivery date of said project, we returned home four times. In the previous two weeks.

Introduce Git - Promote Collaboration
In the real world they won't work alone. Instead of giving individual projects give them a module to work for.

Example project: Library System
Student 1: Sign-up module
Student 2: Log-in module
Student 3: Book sorting module
Student n: x module

Output: A working system

With this approach, students will learn to work with a team and communicate properly about the project they're working for.

I hate those persons...

*sigh*

Don't do this.

Person does it.

Don't do it. We are currently overworked and this _must_ be a project every team agrees on. Otherwise it will end exactly like it is currently - a big mess that every team implemented differently.

2 hours later....

Person books time for said project.

Other team lead: Stop working on it. This makes no sense.

Person: yeah... But I needed to clean it up anyways, so I just started cause why not.

--

Me and the other team lead had a 5 min discussion about it shortly after...

Wasn't the first time said person has gone solo rogue *sigh*

Despite that this is driving me (and the other team lead) nuts...

WHY THE FRIGGING FUCK DOES HE ALWAYS DO IT WHEN WE ARE SO FUCKING OVERWORKED....

Really. Every fucking time this mother tugging bullshit kindergarten play.

I think it's the first time that I said: I don't care - I'll just trash his work when we start on the project as a team in 2 months (Yeah... That's realistic. 2 months minimum...).

The universe really has it's way to make me angry.

I hope he stops tomorrow, we really cannot deal with emotional bullshit at the moment.

*gooozfraba*

How can such fuckwads exist....

Talking about PM, I'm still not sure whether we have one in our company. The project is managed directly by a senior engineer.

If we have any question about the doc, UI/UX team sits just next to us. We even have conversations on how to proceed the project to make us more comfortable.

I don't know aboit the others. But for me, this is sweet.

Do you guys think it's fine to leave a company even if you're a team leader and currently working on an important project for them?

Because I feel sad, underpaid, and abuse on this company.

Here at the client site everyone uses Windows 7, since this is not an IT firm. They make jewellery. So I don't blame them.
The problem is their in house dev team are also forced to use Windows.

Today someone from their dev team was with me for a new project. Their senior guy sent us a mail mentioning that the project code is on AWS EC2 instance and we will have to SSH to see it.
I checked the code on my MacBook with SSH and copied it to local using SCP. The dev guy was seeing it in amazement. I asked, what's it?

He just asked, "You don't have to use PUTTY" 😮

I smirked 😏

We're having a favorite hackathon projects vote at work tomorrow. Basically each team are given 5 minutes to present their project and we'll vote the most interesting project for a favorite project award.

I'll give my vote to whichever team confuse me the quickest.

That moment you realize another team renamed everything, but only in have the project, and the live demo to the customer is in five minutes

Is there any sense in using git for a personal project of which I'm the sole dev? Just as a way to learn version control and such, or is it nothing like what it would be as a larger team?

Another project, another team, another shitshow in codebase.

Now instead of doing work and implementing long awaited features... few weeks of minor refactorings ahead, untangling unnecessary complexities...

... but mostly - explaining the team why their 12-months work is pile of shitty spaghetti, and how it should really be done.

Explaining basics to "seniors" is the most exhausting thing.

The person responsible for making layouts in CSS/HTML got moved from our project and now our team had been forced to improvise by ourselves until a replacement is found.

Suddenly all those old, untouched bugs seem very appealing.

Rant

I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!

I've worked today till 4am.

Guess who's working from home in the morning!

Our Other it team asked me to create a new repository instead of a new branch in my project just cuz they thought branching would be more time consuming than maintaining a separate repo for emergency bug fixes.

Due to resource scarcity, my manager Bob had lent me to other manager John. I started working on John's project and now there is a hardcore dependency on me, as I have done good enough work on it. I was also taking some small work items from Bob parallely so I can be up-to-date with my own team, Later Bob calls me and says he wants me back, since my own team has lot of pending tasks. John's project is still unfinished and will take longer then ever. So far, I am dividing my time between the two teams.

My concern is if I pass on John's project, will I even get recognized for it and since John will have no one concrete to work on his project, he will later keep bugging me for help.

And I feel like I don't belong to either of the teams (I am like a step son to both my parents) 😔

when the client's consultant try to micro manage the project and create panic on the whole team... fml

Wooh! I finally have some work, I'm now the composer for a small dev team, unpayed of course, but this is a fangame, a passion project. I'm so happy!

Last year in my job, I was temporarily assigned to another team to help out in their project as they were short-staffed. It was a massive project and of course there was a lot of code review to be done. But since I was only temporarily assigned, I still have to do code reviews for my base team, this other team I was assigned to, and for some reason, code review for another team that I barely know what their project is about.

There were times where all I was doing was code reviews that took anywhere between a few minutes to upto 3 days. The amount of mistakes and bugs I kept finding was phenomenal. But I think the one thing that got to me was finding the same bugs/mistakes that I kept pointing out to people to stop doing or to fix e.g DB queries inside a loop just to retrieve data.

To this end I still have to deal with the same issue, but thankfully now it's only to one team.

My most successful project was in the fisrt year of University in 2016. We had to build a robot from scratch with all the mechanic, electronical and software components, which could solve a given problem, in our case defusing a bomb, in collaboration with an other team. After a lot of frustration, late night debugging and many beers, our team managed to win the competition against 8 other teams.

Two years of my life I've kept in this project, sacrificed many weekends and peaceful thoughts ! worked my ass off to be an impact in the team and in delivering project...in spite of all that I still can't get ON SITE and all I get is some fucking bullshit appreciation from PM which he didn't even cared to tell one on one ...I hate my f**king life ! 😥😢

On a three months project for a website, the "strategists" and project managers spent two months and a half discussing the "strategy". It left us (production team) two weeks to create the content, the design, and code everything.

Of course it ended being rushed and somehow shitty, but they still congratulte themselves because they "nailed" the "strategy".

</rant>

!rant!
I have replaced a dev in a company where the project already started and it is shit! The project is directed already to fail, no requirements documentation, no proper communications, and a stubborn dev teammate.

aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

All the documents that we have right now is I am the one who created it. Like c'mmon! this project is already going for 1 year and I recently just joined the team!

My team has a huge, high priority project to make a very complex system a lot more simple.

It has to follow the same rules as the current system and do everything it does.

Can I kill myself now?

Starting programming project at the collage with 6 month running time.
In team we agree every day to start "soon"...
1 month left.. everybody gets hectic..
..Until then i had finished the project alone..
TEAMWORK ;) :''''''D

It has finally happened. I have escaped the land of bloated Objective-C and JabbaScript. This week I have started on another project, a full stack team working in Angular, Java, Hibernate, PostgreSQL. The dream has come true. Java it has been too long my friend.

Co-workers with low commitment to a project are the worst to have. I am willing to trade technical depth for commitment in a team member any fucking day! Tech is easy to learn, work ethics not so much!

Probably would have been a good idea for someone to tell me that if I upload the project to my tenant too many times it can break the entire realm and bring down all the other tenants in it. Good opportunity for some team documentation 😊

A lot, I'm very lucky with projects that need a team, always have to code the 80% of the project by myself

Ooh what a nice feeling it is when you come back from a short vacation and everything is in the gutter... My team is divided into the two other teams... (I said divided but I ment everyone got assigned into team X... And I am the only one who was put into team Y)

Besides the whole team fiasco, I think my legacy project decided to role around in the garbage... Because I have no idea where all those bugs came from...

One positive thing is that I won't be working alone on that legacy project anymore, at the start of next week I get help from my new team... Now let's hope they don't suck!

When a senior engineer who was essentially a DBA on his last project is made tech lead on an iOS team. He had no iOS background before this and now he thinks hes a friggin architect.

I’ve been asked to step in and help out with a flailing project.

First day of getting acclimatised I see there’s over 100 tasks in WIP. 4 devs in the team.

Holy cunting fuck. Where do I start?

Be happy or offended. You decide.

When Project Owner congratulate your team that the app is not crashing on QA.

Best: I started a little game project with a coworker for our "8 hours a month" research/fun time.
Worst: I can't get used to be "just a soldier" on my actual team.

Thinking of making a “devRant Clans” website listing the leaders and members of each clan on devRant. Thoughts/features you would like to see?

The overwhelming code smell when you finally got a chance to do a quarterly project-level code review as a team lead.

It's my fault for feeling like they are teaming up against me, and I don't know how to fix it.

I don't at all like when few team mates just put their name on top of the file they are adding to the project.

Gets on my nerves every time.

Rant

Team lead has no idea whats going in project , who is doing what work , nothing at all. Come to our team once a week and got award for successfully managing the project.
Real bullshit

When you and your team invested a lot of their weekend time into the project to meet the clients unrealistic deadline and get not even a simple "thank you" from management...

Stress has always been my biggest problem in development. The constant imposter syndrome when I get a project from the team is something that I can't seem to get over.

Had a university project with friends, got another guy (#1) in our team. Upon being asked if we would take yet another guy (#2), we were sceptical if he was a good developer... Turned out guy #2 is one of the best of us, guy #1 can't do shit.

How to impress the extent of your power over your employees and partners:

1. Make the tech team spend inordinate amounts of effort to investigate someone stealing an almost worthless piece of junk, to make an example for the rest of the workforce.

2. Complain in "secret" meetings that the tech team is not up to the task of delivering the project.

3. Announce that the project will probably, but not certainly, be shut down.

So I was glad that I finally completed the project for my bachelor's degree after fixing random bugs.
Here came this shocking news which left me stunned.

Some other batch bought a similar project from a project centre(lifeline for noobs to pass university project by buying projects made by someone else).

Head of the Department sent me a message that the project done by my team(95%me) is rejected as the other batch also has a similar project. He's aware that they bought it from a project centre. He's defending them that their money would go in vain as they bought it already.

I was like WTF!! Srsly? Do you even know what it takes to make a project functional? I've no idea what I'm going to do now.
#doublestandards

Project is dammed, is broken, we complain about it for almost 3 months, daily, code is old and client is full of bad practices and is always searching for a way to blame us for his failure.
Administration decides that best solution is motivate meditation techniques on dev team

First time coding in a team for a larger project. Any tips on how to handle this? We're six programmers and its really hard for us to work together :/
It's my first rant. I love the community :D

Developer in anger : I'm gonna leave this team and the manager/team will suffer for my loss and the project will fail.

In the meanwhile,

Manager to the senior manager : If one of the developers die or leaves the team, the project deadline extends by 1 month.

Senior manager : Great.

Last week-end I went to a hackathon organized by Microsoft Innovation Center, that was great ! I didn't win anything unfortunately but the guy from there said to my team "we want your project" before we leave. So we didn't won anything but you want our project ? Wtf guy ?

Starting a team project in Rails without even knowing Ruby.

I thought that it won't be too different from other frameworks and I would learn it in 2 days or so. I was so wrong...

That moment you realise you fucked up, but don't have the courage to tell your team leader that you fucked up.. Especially when you're atleast 30% into a project.

(As of Tuesday at 10:00 PM) We have a project with a hard due date Sunday.

We have yet to get a proof of concept finished.

My team has no grasp on reality or how long this project is going to take.

I'm screwed.

I've submitted a PR to a large open source project, and I've had no feedback in over two weeks.

I spent a weekend and many late nights working out how to solve this bug - it was my time - and the project team haven't eaten acknowledged the PR.

I just got a project that is already developed by a team. It is already in the production and guess what!! They are storing customer’s credit card details in the database 🥸🥸

Daily stand-ups might seem like a joke when done remotely, but I believe they help unite the team, and they play a key role for project managers, even if they're brief. The bigger issue might be just some of the dev's attitude towards it, and the lack of communication through out the project development.

Worst project team handled

Senior dev on our team is concerned that we are raising standards above and beyond what we need to deliver the project.

For 6m+ this project has delivered little, but what there is is full of bugs that got through testing, and no standards (coding or otherwise) in place at all.

I hate dealing with people who preach “good enough” is fine but won’t accept they aren’t even close to doing “good enough”

Very useful!
It's not just about code but the whole package.
Watching great programmers fail miserably at project management, research, documentation, team leading and acting professional is just embarrassing, especially when they slate those who went out to educate themselves.

🎙️ Mic drop, I'm out!

I just love it how team git & team TFS managed to migrate same fuckin project several times from one source control to the other and back.. and they all root for their source control as it's the bestest of them all.. yet when presented with specific conflict situation and asked how to most elegantly resolve it I get an 'ugh, I don't know, I've never worked with anyone else on a project let alone on intertwined parts so I never had to resolve conflicts.' -.- Dude, wtf?!

Why is 99% of my development job responding to audits, security questions, and idiocy spewing from something called an “Office of Innovation”? So this Innovation team sends down a project request which is silently intended to push my resource allocation over 100%. Security shoots down the idea. Innovation team tells me to tell security no, we need this. Ummm, here’s a thought, why don’t you idiots all get together and tell me when there’s some coding to be done?

Just taken on a new client through my own business. Great news! They pay well, everything seems to run smoothly and they're a great team.

They gave me access to their Gitlab repos and all looked well...until...no branches! They have zero branches to determine what is the current live distributed project, dev project or any of the various other reasons. I don't often use git but this really bugs me!

How is it called when I rant about something my colleagues experienced and I just supported his debug session? Third party rant? Anyway, here's the thing.

Other team built some project specific code right in the heart of their software, which in itself would be worth a rant. But as you might guess, it's getting rantier.

For a new project the same code is used, but needed some tweaks. Now guess what happened:
1) Someone took the code, refactored it, made project specific stuff configurable, everything works fine now
2) Someone changed the code completely for the new project, everything seems to work fine for 5 months, then the old project needed a new release 💣

The coolest project that I have worked on is still a work in progress. It is a dashboard that uses signalR that integrates with team city, active directory and Google calendar. It's definitely one of the coolest things I have worked on to date.

The service hooks at Visual Studio Team Service are a mess. A new subscription for every single event. Really?
Is it that hard to add an "everything" field? Instead I can now add 25 events one by one - for every project.