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Search - "fuck recursion"
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I'm 20, and I consider myself to be as junior as they come. I only started programming seriously in June 2016,and since then, I've been doing mainly Android Work, and making my own servers and backends(using AWS/Firebase nd stuff).
For the first time in life, I was approached by a recruiter for a company on linkedIn. They "stumbled upon" my Github profile and wanted to see if I was interested in an internship opportunity. This company is an early stage start up, by that I mean a dude with an idea calling himself the CEO and a guy who "runs a tech blog" and only knows college level C programming (explaination follows).
So they want me to make the app for their startup. and for that, I ws first asked to solve a couple problems to prove my competence and a "technical interview" followed.
They gave me 3 questions, all textbook, GCD of 2 numbers, binary search and Adding an element to the linked List, code to be written on a piece of paper. As the position was that of an Android Developer, I assumed that Java should be the language of choice. Assumed because when I asked, the 'tech blogger' said, yeah whatever.
But wait, that ain't all, as soon as I was done, Mr. Blogger threw a fit, saying I shouldn't assume and that I must write it in C. I kept my cool (I'm not the most patient person), and wrote the whole thing in C.
He read it, and asked me what I've written and then told me how wrong I was to write 2 extra lines instead of recursion for GCD. I explained that with numbers large enough, we run the risk of getting a stackoverflow and it's best to apply non recursive solution if possible. He just heard stackoverflow and accused me of cheating. I should have left right then, but I don't know why, I apologized and again, in detail explained what was happening to this fucktard. Once this was done, He asked me how, if I had to, I'd use this exact code in my Android App. I told him that Id rather write this in Java/Kotlin since those are the languages native to Android apps. I also said that I'd export these as a Library and use JNI for the task. (I don't actually know how, I figured I can study if I have to).
Here's his reply, "WTF! We don't want to make the app in Java, we will use C (Yeh, not C++, C). and Don't use these fancy TOOLS like JNI or Kotlin in front of me, make a proper application."
By this I was clear that this guy is not fit to be technical lead and that I should leave. I said, "Sir, I don't know how, if even possible, can we make an Android App purely in C. I am sorry, but this job is not for me".
I got up and was about to leave the room, when we said, "Yeah okay, I was just testing you".
Yeah right, the guy's face looked like a howling monkey when I said Library for C, and It has been easier for me to explain code to my 10 year old cousin that this dumbfuck.
He then proceeded to ask me about my availability, and I said that I can at max to 15-20 hours a week since my college schedule is pretty tight. I asked me to get him a prototype in 2 months and also offered me a full time job after I graduate. (That'd be 2 years from now). I said thank you for the offer, but I am still not sure of I am the right person for this job.
He then said, "Oh you will be when I tell you your monthly stipend."
I stopped for a second, because, money.
And then he proceeded to say 2 words which made me walk out without saying a single word.
"One Thousand".
I live in India, 1000 INR translates to roughly $15. I made 25 times that by doing nothing more than add a web view to an activity and render a company's responsive website in it so it looks like an app.
If this wasn't enough, the recruiter later had the audacity to blame me for it and tell me how lucky I am to even get an offer "so good".
Fuck inexperienced assholes trying shit they don't understand and thinking that the other guy is shitsworth.10 -
"Our company encourages cryptocurrency big data agile machine learning, empowerment diversity, celebrate wellness and synergy, unpack creative cloud real-time front-end bleeding edge cross-platform modular success-driven development of digital signage, powered by an unparalleled REST API backend, driven by a neural network tail recursion AI on our cloud based big data linux servers which output real time data to our Wordpress template interactive dynamic website TypeScript applet, with deep learning tensor flow capabilities.
Don't get what the fuck I just said? Udemy offers countless courses on python based buzzwords. Be the first out of 13 people to sell your soul and private information, and you'll get the first three minutes of the course free!"random bullshit cryptocurrency joke/meme ai fuck your buzzwords rest api deep learning big data udemy3 -
Took me 9 hours to write what ended up being a 10 line function to sort messages and replies in the proper order.
I at least knew it would employ recursion, but goddamn... 9 hours.
Fuck sakes7 -
As a pretty solid Angular dev getting thrown a react project over the fence by his PM I can say:
FUCK REACT!
It is nigh impossible to write well structured, readable, well modularized code with it and not twist your mind in recursion from "lift state up" and "rendercycle downwards only"
Try writing a modular modal as a modern function component with interchangeable children (passeable to the component as it should be) that uses portals and returns the result of the passed children components.
Closest I found to it is:
c o d e s a n d b o x.io/s/7w6mq72l2q
(and its a fucking nightmare logic wise and readability wise)
And also I still wouldn't know right of the bat how to get the result from the passed child components with all the oneway binding CLUSTERFUCK.
And even if you manage to there is no chance to do it async as it should be.
You HAVE to write a lot of "HTML" tags in the DOM that practically should not be anywhere but in async functions.
In Angular this is a breeze and works like a charm.
Its not even much gray matter to it...
I can´t comprehend how companies decide to write real big web apps with it.
They must be a MESS to maintain.
For a small "four components that show a counter and fetch user images" - OK.
But fo a big webapp with a big team etc. etc.?
Asking stuff about it on Stackoverflow I got edited unsolicited as fuck and downvoted as fuck in an instant.
Nobody explained anything or even cared to look at my Stackblitz.
Unsolicited edit, downvote, closevote and of they go - no help provided whatsoever.
Its completely fine if you don't have time to help strangers - but then at least do not stomp on beginners like that.
I immediately regretted asking a toxic community like this something that I genuinely seem to not understand. Wasn't SO about helping people?
I deleted my post there and won't be coming back and doing something productive there anytime soon.
Out of respect for my clients budget I'm now doing it the ugly react way and forget about my software architecture standards but as soon as I can I will advise switching to Angular.
If you made it here: WOW
Thank you for giving me a vent to let off some steam :)13 -
Here it is.
The CS final.
I reached this point in my life.
I hope I won’t forget the base case in recursion like last time and fuck up an entire question.11 -
Me after using Prolog for 6 hours because of University...
Sometimes prolog gives me brainfuck (pun intended)3 -
My left cortex: You have a paper to write @poster983. Put devrant down.
My right cortex: NO! Enjoy yourself. You have a study hall tomorrow. Do it then.
My left cortex: Remember, you already said that about history. Best to do it now!
*mouth makes farting noise*
My Right cortex: COME ON! IT'S HUCKLEBERRY FINN. JUST USE SPARK NOTES! DO IT L A T E R!
My left cortex: fuck you right.
My right cortex: right back at you.
*Snapchat buzzes*
My full brain: OK HALT THE DEVRANTS! THE BOYFRIEND IS TEXTING!
(Notice the recursion here?). This is why I can't ever write papers.
Same thing applies to when I'm programing. I end up spending 2 hours on something that only should have taken me 1.
My left cortex: Stop Ranting!
Help me.
💩2 -
val true : bool = isFrustrated(me : Human)
1) Honestly fuck SML. Who's goddamn idea was it to make a useless fucking programming language that does absolutely nothing relevant unless you're trying to learn recursion. Who's fucking idea was it to not be able to even have side effects. And who gives a shit if you can explicitly declare the type of variables on every single fucking line that's what comments are for if you really need it. All this is aside from the fact that nobody ever has been like "OH UNMUTABLE TYPES? WOW IM SO HAPPY THIS IS SO USEFUL". At this point I feel like SML is basically a DFA - ABSOLUTELY FUCKING USELESS
2) Aside from that, who's idea was it to duplicate two classes. There's 15-122 (Principles of Imperative Computation) and 15-150 (Principles of Functional Programming). So far the ONLY fucking thing different is we learned about work and span in 15-150 - OTHER THAN THAT ITS LIKE TAKING THE EXACT SAME COURSE. BUT AGAIN. So then I have to fucking sit in lecture and pay attention for that tiny bit of information that is new amongst the giant cesspool of information that isn't. BECAUSE I ALREADY LEARNED IT.
Oh and did I mention that both classes are required to graduate as a CS major? Fuck me.
Thanks devRant for helping <3
Edit: We are 4 weeks into the semester so you'd expect we'd have gotten into the new stuff by now right????5 -
well... Fuck you ackermann and your damn interesting function!
Spent three hours searching for an error in rasoning but well... Who'd have guessed...
FUCK! I need to get my stuff done... Fuck!