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This blew my mind earlier today. It can actually draw not only itself, but literally anything. For more info watch the numberphile video on this formula.
10 -
WHOA
My grandpa just gave me 100$ for fixing his TV:
-And here is you paycheck son...
-What? Noo, it was literally 2 minutes factory reset, I don't need this :D
-Oh come on. I'm not paying you because you because you pressed some buttons. I pay you, because you exactly knew which buttons to press. Now, take it!
Truly, the man of honor...12 -
My mom got audited for storing sensitive client information in her gmail account without using a vpn or any other real security.
I had been telling her this was an issue for literally the last three years and shes brushed me off every time.
I got yelled at for not telling her I was serious.35 -
YES YES YES YES I HAVE MY FIRST INTERVIEW NEXT WEEK (SERVER MANAGEMENT/SUPPORT POSITION)
*JUMPS AROUND* (NOT LITERALLY BECAUSE AT A TRAIN STATION)40 -
So today this Mother F**ker get HR to back him up to accuse me of not communicating well in the team because I consistently asked him (the code owner) why he kept coding not following the coding guideline.
How is it not communicating? He literally ghosted me and blocked me every time I ask him questions. Which I somewhat don't understand what he is trying to do. HR lady told me that a senior software engineer should have the knowledge to understand everything and all the code.
But the code looks like this :
41 -
Write a small js function using setInterval to fire a request every second ... then copy paste the code 450 times (literally, not an exaggeration) into a massive file to create a load test script.
This load test script also had no means to gather metrics or test response times or anything useful. It was literally a “did the server crash” test.9 -
👋🏻 So, yesterday I thought I'd quit...
👠 Today it turns out I've been fired, and my resignation wasn't opened 😂 😂
🖕 Hannah from HR
In fairness I did literally say that to Hannah from HR yesterday in a sort-of-attempt to get myself fired, so... I'm not quite sure who wins...13 -
My worst dev sin is not throwing people under the bus, even when they deserve it.
Literally or metaphorically? I'll leave that up to the imagination.
------
I believe my second-worst sin is my tendency towards perfectionism. It's hard to finish projects quickly if everything has to be nearly perfect. I still make deadlines, but this is due to overworking, thus leading to burnout.
I could relax more if only I sacrificed my principles...5 -
Everything was going well, finally could put some money aside and I literally thought 'if nothing breaks down this month, I'll have a good month of savings :D'.
I should definitely not have fucking thought that.
Well, RIP phone. Let's search for a new one.
😭55 -
I am fucking dying of laughter right now. 😁
Today I got a push message of the invoicing app I use from time to time and the message literally just said "lol" (without even the usual pre-fix of the app name or anything).
So after not figuring out where that could have come from and obviously theres no private messaging etc. in that app, I contacted support and they reacted surprisingly good and at same time hilariously good; they pushed now a team towards investigating that, as apparently I wasn't the only one.
https://support.waveapps.com/hc/...
I wonder who fucked up and literally pushed "lol" to thousands of people. 😂
8 -
Dear Android:
I know I'm not on wifi. I get it. Sometimes data coverage isn't amazing or the network is congested. It's cool. You can just flash "no service" and I just won't try. or even "3G" and I'll have some patience. I rember how slow 3G was. It's okay, I'll wait.
But fucking stop showing 4G LTE if you can't make a fucking GET request for a 2kb text file in less than 5 minutes! Fucking really? Don't fucking lie to me with your false hope bullshit, just tell me the truth and I'll probably sigh and say shit and put my phone away.
But fuck you and your progress bar externally stuck in the middle. As if to say you're making progress! Wasting my time!
If you can't download a kilobyte in a 5min period, why even say I have data at all? What good does that do me?23 -
How to advertise... uhm... not the right way!
The 'beschermd tegen anti-ddos' literally translates to 'protected against anti-ddos'
So then I can DdoS the living shit out of that those services and will be protected against the anti DdoS stuff....?! 🤣
9 -
On a french TV show:
Animator: So Jean-Pierre what do you do in life?
Jean-Pierre: well, I'm a computer ingineer
A: Oh, so you're the guy we call when the printer is fucked?
JP: Absolutely not, I'm the one who make programs and softwares that don't work, so they call us again
Literally me 😂1 -
I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!18 -
Manager: Please make that text in plane white.
FullStackClown: Oooo, that's a tough one. What's plane white?
Manager: Are you serious? You literally don't know what the color white is?
FullStackClown: Well sure I know what white is, but I'm not sure what plane white is, there are dozens of airliners, and I'm sure they all have slightly different shades of what they are using for their light color in branding...
Manager: ...
FullStackClown: ...13 -
!rant
I'm the kind of coder who likes her brackets{
Better this way;
};
Literally posting this so I could get those 10 points followed by an avatar.
Hello to all the fellow ranters from a newbie(definitely not a noobie).
P.s. Python lovers, don't get to my bracket.26 -
So I'm very much not a fan of apple and their products.
I bought an iPod Classic (160gb) today (second hand)
I was literally standing there wanting it while my ethics tried to withhold me from buying it 😅8 -
Dude, for the hundredth time, stop leaving random chunks of commented out code all over the place in case we "need to find it easily later"...
This is literally the reason we use git.
No, I will not pass it in a code review. The same as last time. And the time before...
Dahhhhh19 -
Coworker: "can you help me with this thing?"
Me: "sure, what have you tried so far"
Them: "nothing yet"
Hdhajsgrbeiry JUST TRY _SOMETHING_ AT LEAST BEFORE ASKING FOR HELP.
It's literally your job to solve problems, not get other people to solve them for you.
Asking for help if you don't understand something is one thing, but constantly trying to get people to show you exact examples is not doing your job.
This has been a chronic problem with one of our devs and despite advising them multiple times on it, it continues to happen.12 -
I hate it when people don't understand that programmers are prone to depression just like anyone else in other professions.
And my blood literally boils when someone says "Stop overthinking". Like bro, overthinking is literally how I make a living.
If I stop thinking about how my code can fail, I no longer can make a living out of this. I'll be no better than a handicapped PTSD possessed war veteran.
Also, IMO, you're born with an overthinking mind. It's not learned or acquired from an influence. I wish I could stop overthinking, but I have to accept it's beyond my control and try to tame it best I can.
It just sucks. But it is what it is. I know my head is spitting words out at full capacity right now, which just leads to depressed thoughts, and it will calm itself right down after some time.13 -
A supervisor in my first job , he also taught me to pick up girls in bars.
Hell he picked up a girl whilst I was throwing up on a train 😂, literally right next to me 😅 talented man
He made me want to be better then him at programming ... Not picking up girls. So now I am and got my own company doing it ... All due to a strange bromance15 -
Client: it's not working
Me: clear your cache
Client: what's that
Me:it's a way of cleaning the files of your computer to get new ones.
Client: I cleaned my mac
I mean she literally got cleaning wipes ... and cleaned her computer
P.s I told her all this before and how to many, many times
2 -
I am really going nuts about everyone using ChatGPT. Had literally discussions 'bUt cHaTgPt sAyS iTs TrUe', when the docs said clearly thats not the case.
Also the "code" produced is just what the hell?!
I hope this damn hype will end soon14 -
Been working on a bug fix for 3 hours. Literally nothing I do will fix it. Finally I realize I'm not even calling the function.5
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Swagger does not send request body for GET calls.! WHAT THE FUCK..! And the argument supporting is get calls should not have any request payloads and rather should have response payloads since its a "get" call. Are you serious?? What if there are parameters to be passed which cannot be accomodated in the params or the header. Even though people are kind of literally abusing on their issues page still they adamantly refuse to add support for this.
Swagger you had high standards in my book. You just fell so deep down there is no coming back.3 -
I once had to literally hack a Joomla 1.5.x site for a client, because they did not find the passwords (hosting, cms, ftp, mysql). After 5 minutes and a SQL injection I was in like flynn.
The site was already full of hidden links to viagra sellers and stuff... 😂1 -
Good to see instagram move to python3 without an exception. Literally that was smooth. Cheers to those who think Python is not scalable. 95 million photos on daily basis. 400 daily users.
https://thenewstack.io/instagram-ma...5 -
Literally translates to : } Do not change requirments at 9pm on Friday that PO aint your father-in-law 😒..
😛😂
11 -
Do managers not fucking understand that Jira is meant to eliminate all this stupid "What's the status with X?", and "Is Y done yet?" chatter. Our communication channels should be on business logic and other global updates about the company, not about fucking workflow status updates because you have nothing else to do with your day but ping me every 5 minutes.
LOOK AT THE REVIEW COLUMN ON JIRA. I MEAN ITS LITERALLY CALLED REVIEW. SO REVIEW IT AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.
I swear the devs consistently have a better overview on timelines and project status than management does - which is sad, because this is literally the definition of management!!!18 -
My previous manager always complained about the programmer that used to be there before me was utterly incompetent and unable to work.
One day checking a legacy app that needed a minor update I was looking at the code and said: “It is true the previous programmer didn’t even know how to put together 2 lines of code, this is literally the shittiest thing I have ever seen, thank God he is not around anymore!”
…
Manager: “Actually I wrote this myself”
…
…5 -
I was told in an 1:1, quite literally, "not everybody can do what they want to do if they are not good at it..." - get fucked! The person I had to "report to" was an idiot (at the same senior level as I was) and obviously threatened.
Then moved down to customer support, where I was fired for fixing problems faster than going through the chain of levels, because I was creating quick scripts to patch the faulty data.1 -
User gives me a Mac to work on, States that it “only needs Microsoft office Mac installed”
Okay.
Boot up the laptop....
**Mac OS X utilities**
Hmmm, odd. Reboot.
**Mac OS X utilities**
You’ve got to be shitting me. Call user —
Her - “NO! It was working when I gave it to you, you fix it. I’m not paying to get my laptop returned broken. It was working when I gave it to you!”
Me - “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I literally turned it on and this is what it stated * read her the message*
Her - “I don’t believe you, you did something to my computer.”
YOU FUCK! THE FUCK I DID! YOU LITERALLY JUST HANDED ME THE GOD DAMN THING! Can I PLEASE curb stomp this bitch, please....12 -
Just because our classes are online now doesn't mean you should make your exam literally 5x harder than the in class one was you fucking bow tie wearing penis head looking cunt.
There's a literal global pandemic going on for fuck sakes. It's not like we asked to have it online fucking jackass.2 -
Interviewer: I think you are too young for this job, blah blah, your age is too low, blah blah, this job requires elder people, blah blah
(...keeps repeating the same bullshit for literally half an hour...)
Interviewer: look, I have to leave in five minutes. Convince me that you are not too young for this job.5 -
The one who said "Code should comment itself" must not have used assembly.
I literally wrote this 30 seconds ago and I can't work out what it does now...1 -
I hate access. I wish I could use literally any other program. But they're not authorized.
I'm the only one working on this, and everything is closed. How the fuck is the object in use somewhere else? And where the fuck did my primary key go???7 -
The most helpful error message of all time:
Unhandled exception in line 0: Script error.
Literally translates to: “Something went wrong but I’m not gonna tell you what.” -
Yes! you made a difference.[image]
P.S.
started working at a startup as an intern(android app developer), Most of my work is like debugging the code, new feature implementations.
And the codebase is full of this kind of shit(even worse) plus literally zero documentation(not even for API's), not even a single line of comment in complete project(40K-50K), not any unit test/ UI test.
The funniest thing is when I ask for documentation he(boss | *) said: I am documentation.
8 -
I literally just cleared 150Gb from my laptop by deleting the node_modules folders, of projects I'm currently not working on 🤦♂️10
-
Finally got a new job, but it's already a horror story not even 2 hours in (making this while on break)
Everyone here is an Intern, IT? Interns, Designers? Interns, HR? Interns.
The Person who I should've worked with got fired yesterday, and now I have to work all of his shit up from 0, Documentation? Fragmental, a few things here and there, but nothing really.
IT security also doesn't exist in the slightest, there is an Excel sheet called "Master_Passwords" and every single password is in Plaintext, written out for everyone to see. (at least they used "strong" passwords)
And the place also looks run down, theres PC's, Laptops, Mics, Cables etc. lying literally everywhere no-one knows what works and what doesn't (since everyone is an intern)
Not to mention the "Server Room" is an absolute mess itself, cables hanging from literally anywhere, powerstrips are ontop of servers, each rack has like 2 or 3 2U Servers, (in a 40u Rack) and there are 10 of them!4 -
SMM: Can you chat over the phone? Just want to make sure we are on the same page! I am not great with web lingo!
Me: Sure.
Me, internally: You're a social media manager. That's literally your one fucking job.3 -
Dev: My VM is not working. Something is wrong with VM.
Me: Have you made any changes to the code?
Dev: It shouldn't matter my VM is not working.
[I go and check the Dev's VM.]
Me: ಠ_ಠ The build output literally states your unit tests failed -
Database tip of the day:
Spent hours on Amazon's DynamoDB and ultimately found it couldn't do what I wanted, not without a complicated workaround.
Switched to Mongo and had it working in literally under 5 minutes.
Hooray for Mongo 😀4 -
Let's apply dark theme to the sun. So that I can at least stay away from my airco for 2 fucking minutes and not sweat like a goddamn pig!!! Over a month of this shitty heatwave it's been already.. it never ends, does it?! Fucking hell - literally!!!
Sorry for repost. Apparently it's not possible to edit the tags anymore, and I didn't want this to land up in wk116.6 -
You know what grinds my gears?
Those people who ask about a problem on stackoverflow, github issue, or other sites and then reply:
"Never mind, found the problem!", Without telling what was the problem and did they fix it.
Fuck those people.*
*Not literally.4 -
So yesterday evening I was going to play some games. Checked NVIDIA and saw new update (no beta). So I went to install it and it literally fucked up my graphics card.
One monitor stopped working instantly and the other one got this old tv effect like when you had no signal.
Took me two hours to downgrade to my old drivers because I couldn't fucking see shit.
PLS NVIDIA DONT PUSH NEW DRIVERS IF YOU FUCKIN NOT TESTED THEM
11 -
Graduation day:
A guy presents a modified pathfinding algorithm based on a*, in Java.
Jumping to the conclusions, he says he tested the algorithm on a 128x128 graph based maze, but not larger because the program saturates his 4 GB ram pc.
One teacher (algorithms and data structures) literally jumps from the chair "you saturate 4gb of ram with a* on 128x128 graph?!"
Best graduation day ever lol9 -
I'm not good with faces, at all.
I literally once forgot a dudes name and remembered after he got his laptop out from his bag and i saw his stickers.
I recognize people based on their stickers now...8 -
Stupid javascript.
Stupid hoisting-oblivious "frontend devs."
Stupid browser-specific javascript behavior.
Stupid thrown-together javascript minifier that literally only strips out whitespace and comments.
Stupid poorly-written javascript spamming my api.
Time to rewrite it. Grumble grumble. Soo not how I wanted to spend my morning-turn-afternoon.
Leading to the last but not least:
Stupid me forgetting javascript's quirks.12 -
> likes linux
> maybe not even install windows on shiny new laptop?
> debian-live.iso
> y u no wifi?
> google: lol apt-get
> but i has no internets...
Why only with Debian and not with literally any other flavor of Linux I've tried, which are all Debian variants?
Halp?18 -
Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,13
-
Oh my fucking god. It's 1:30 PM and I literally cannot sleep right now. It's like I lost the ability to close my eyes and go to sleep.
What could be the cause of this?
*Flashbacks to earlier today*
Brother: Hey, want a piece of this FUCKING HUGE Toblerone bar?
Me: Sure why not
But seriously, I need sleep10 -
I don't understand why so many devs complain about not having money or complain about the company that they work for. We literally have the skills to do whatever the fuck we want in today's world. Literally everything is structured around what we do. If you hate your life so much, do something about it. Granted, I understand if you live somewhere that doesn't allow you to control your own destiny but I'm pretty sure that the majority of the people on this app has the ability to do so. The rewards are endless if you decide to think outside the box just a little bit. Sorry, this has just been on my mind for a while and decided to rant about it here since that's what this app is for.14
-
Me - Wants to transfer chat history.
App: "Log in to the new device and scan this QR Code to start transfer."
Me - Logs in on new device.
App: "Oh, a new device logged in? Let's log you out from your old device. It's not like this feature you are trying to use specifically requires 2 devices to be logged on at the same time while I literally don't allow multiple devices to be logged on at the same time. You're welcome."3 -
I literally can not go back to a single display setup. I have a dual display both at home and at office.5
-
Local IT company proposes to give talks about the basics of web development in our school for one and a half week.
>"And now we're going to learn more about JavaScript."
>"The first thing we need to do is to import jQuery in our webpage."
>Literally no mention of plain JS.
this is why jquery is still not dead...........5 -
I get rejected just for my beard, they don't like it.. and they're so idiot so they have prejudgments that any man with beard could be linked to terrorism. They literally said that I was the best fit to the post..
But, I am not changing who I am for them..3 -
soo.. yeah.. I've just solved an annoying bug using only chatgpt.
My first commit in this new project. And it's based on chatgpt.
Literally just saved me from days of reading through kafka docs, auth mechanisms and other stuff. And no, the google did not provide me with a proper answer/hints. The only hint was "the configuration might be wrong". Well alright, but I was NOT using any configuration in the first place...
Fun times ahead :) I might even consider the pro version if it keeps delivering like that.16 -
I was struggling with a task on a project and decided to call the colleague, who's working on this project as well (he built it, I am just on-boarding) to get some advice.
Literally the first thing he asked me was: "have you seen whom this task is assigned to?"
Fuck! So I spent about 1.5 hours on not finishing a task that I shouldn't have worked on in the first place. Great.5 -
*Sigh*
Eclipse is such horrendous garbage, it somehow even manages to run like shit on an SSD.
Literally all my software runs smooth as butter on the SSD, even VS ffs. No, not Eclipse. Still hangs up constantly, fails to respond, takes ages to do things.
Incredible.10 -
Not really rubber, but he's my duck.
He's literally one year younger than me so it makes it quite special.
I really like him 😄
6 -
Twilio literally broke my integration because I have not logged into its portal for 2 weeks. Got notified by users complaining SMS wasn’t going through.
12 -
Coding competitions.
Expectations: a period of intense coding, satisfaction from solving problems, finding neat solutions.
Reality: five FUCKING HOURS spent staring at the screen doing literally nothing, because none of your ideas would fit the time limit and you have NOT A SINGLE FUCKING CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START.
#LookAtHowMuchFunI'mHaving6 -
2 leetcode hard questions in 60 mins. That's what I faced in few company interviews. Trust me, if that's the expectation you're having from candidate, you're looking for a leetcode monkey but not a software engineer!
To the interviewers who have such unrealistic expectations, please change your mindset. It's literally impossible to come up with optimal solutions to 2 leetcode hards in 60 mins if I haven't solved those problems before! It just becomes a memorization game not a problem solving round!!!
:)2 -
I can't begin to express how utterly useless timestamps like "Today, about 15 minutes ago" or "Yesterday", or "Monday", or "Two Weeks Ago" are.
Those aren't times. Those are relative descriptions of times and are utterly useless.
If I don't know the current date for any number of reasons, such as when viewing a screenshot, it's a worse description than not having one at all.
Again, I am stymied by Apple's insistence to make everything that much less useful for literally no gain.8 -
I literally just had a conversation with my coworker who is not a dev where he said that WordPress sites getting hacked is a myth. He also thinks shared hosting sites getting hacked is also a myth......I literally can't right now.4
-
"get lost"
The fucker was just saying he would not help me, but in the end I should have taken the advice literally and got the fuck out of that fucked up place. -
!rant
I've lost all fucking motivation to do anything at the moment.
Fuck not even gaming is much fun anymore.
Also amazing that I have so little time on Mondays that I can't even eat properly.
Literally living on caffeine, a spoonful of, like, porridge and water on Mondays.
And of course the nice bistro is closed on Mondays.
Then there is that motherfucker of person at school that just randomly starts sharing weird ass details with you and promptly started to break out in tears when she failed maths today.
Like fucking hell, then for some reason the same person fucks up everything in her volleyball group by literally doing nothing and complains when she gets hit by a fucking volleyball, like, she doesn't even attempt to dodge it catch it.
So much for that fuckery.
Then there's these little brats that just completely play asshole and are being jackasses to everyone including upperclassmen and teachers.
Grab em by the throat and fucking put them in a toilet.
Literally the reason why our school is generally known as the 'Drecksloch', literally dirt hole.
The fucking volume is driving me batshit insane in school to the point where I just start yelling at people.
Fucking kids, it literally doesn't cost you shit to just shut the fuck up.
Okay, vent over.
Sorry for that.12 -
Has anyone had to hack into a server so they can set up their work,
Literally have a client asking me to do this change to their site and they are asking the dev who is controlling it but they just not letting me access ..
Long night ahead 🙄 got to add a ftp account ... All I need to do is add small lines of code for tracking, but this guy doesn't want to let me on it cause I'm slowly taking over his work... if he did his job right it's not like it would be happening anyway6 -
Ok, Microsoft just released Visual Studio for Mac. Now there's literally not a single reason why i would want to use Windows over Mac as a developer.
I like this decision by Microsoft.7 -
- Two months ago I joined this company and did literally nothing ever since. For that I would like to thank my line manager and his entire branch for being an amazingly incompetent colleagues, and for mumbling "that's how the client works" every time I raised the same damn problem. Also, let's not forget my HR manager and interviewer, who apparently have no connection whatsoever with real situation of company's projects. And last but not least this remarkably hierarchical workplace where you can't throw a rock without hitting a cocksure higher-up.
Y'all fucks deserve some serious brain readjustment.7 -
Short one, but it really gets me every time:
PLEASE tell me that I am not the only one typing hex-numbers in all caps!!!
I literally can't stand to see them in lowercase!!!
Every code I use with hex numbers in it (primarily ASM and C) I HAVE TO convert them into uppercase!!!
Is it just me and my stupid OCD or are there other ones like me????10 -
Note to self: stop trying to write literally everything modular, it's not always the best thing to do.
-
A lot of docker containers.
I often have to use docker containers while I don't understand it as well yet and quite some containers literally come with zero documentation or bad docs.
This both as for how to set the containers up and how to debug stuff.
This is one of the big reasons why I'm not as big of a fan of docker yet.9 -
I Googled "png to svg converter", this is the output of the first online tool I tried.
This dev literally just a base64 encoded copy of my origin image wrapped in an svg... the most infuriating thing about it is that technically it did 'convert' it to svg - just not in the way I had anticipated.
Whoever wrote this is a lazy genius (and a dickhead).
8 -
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
I am not into motivation books but I was intrigued by a title.
Nice fucking book.
Found some improvements I can make in my life.
Author literally wrote he don’t give a fuck if you’re reading it or not.4 -
BI dev: Hey, can you help me with my SQL query?
Me: Sure, let me see it.
BI dev: sends screenshot - not even the whole query, literally a screenshot with a segment of text in it. No errors showing either.
Me: ...7 -
Someone please explain to me how you can become vice president of an internet company and have no fucking clue about simple database logic. Not only that, but then ask developers for query logic that is literally impossible and waste weeks fucking around trying to get it to work the way your deranged mind has shit out these absurd concepts.4
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PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
Me: No
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.5 -
I'm a 16 yrs old student, learning to be a software developer. I have successes, but I can't share with anyone. My parents don't understand what am I doing, my classmates neither. Literally nobody. Maybe 1 or 2 people. Can I share with you, dear devRant community? Or I shouldn't share, 'couse it's not a rant?16
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I got stuck with a small task for days, today I just have the courage to ask for help and a senior literally gave me the code for the problem! I'm not sure if I should be happy for finishing the task or embarrassed for couldn't solve the problem by myself. 😄😥6
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About a decade ago there was a torrent site for audiobooks audiobookbay I think?, if you forgot your password to your username they would literally just give you a new password on the next page. Naturally being a 1337H4X0R teenager I found the username of one of the admins and got into their account on the site. I don't know if they ever fixed that but that was a serious wtf moment.
Edit: just checked this flaw has not been patched.8 -
Providing a web site to pay electricity and other services, but guess what? THE CONNECTION IS NOT SeCuRe !! (What can possibly can go wRoNg).
This retarded country have a lot of skilled people, but the dinosaurs who in charge are literally afraid of new technology.
Wake up bitches, it's almost 2020 -
Call centre manager was made VP of my tech company. Is now directing the programming department.
Yesterday she spent 30 minutes looking through Excel files in an attempt to prove me wrong. Literally found nothing, with 3 other people in the meeting.
Repeatedly told everyone she was "not crazy" in her failed attempt to throw me under the bus.
I love coding, but these human interactions are going to give me a heart attack.3 -
Seriously, y'all shitting on CORS but why? literally, why? it protects you. If you need an external api, could you please be fucking bothered to setup redirects, so it's /api and not fucking https://amazon23984723984723984.aws239847329847230948.spyware/...? duh
people who allow cors from "*" are the same people who always do everything with superuser rights. you're the reason why I always got offers23 -
Imposter syndrome. I’m SICK of hearing people say that they have imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome literally means that you are good at your job but you BELIEVE you are a fraud / not worthy / are going to get “found out”.
By self identifying as having imposter syndrome, then by definition that means you in fact DO NOT have imposter syndrome.
If you DID have imposter syndrome then you would just think you were bad at your job.5 -
i hate group assignments. why is this guy doing a class in accessibility if he's not gonna pay attention and not gonna make the code accessible? and the audacity to tell us that "we can fix the accessibility stuff afterwards". the accessibility is literally the assignment!!! you're not doing shit!!!4
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I've met a potential client who has a popular website, but it was last designed in...get this...1995. The design literally has not been updated since then, except to update content via Dreamweaver. DREAMWEAVER! Sure, it runs fast in terms of page speed. But it's using tables for layout, has no CSS, and tags that have been deprecated for over 15 years now. And, of course, it's hosted on GoDaddy. Just...wow.8
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I FUCKING HATE VISUAL STUDIO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY THINKS I WANT TO UNDO SINCE I PRESSED THE MOTHER FUCKING BACKSPACE KEY
ITS NOT MY KEYBOARDS FAULT ITS LITERAALLY THEIR DUMBASSES NOT KNOWING HOW TO MAKE AN IDE ATA ALL
HOLY SHIT MICROSOFT LEARN HOW TO MAKE BETTER IDES OTHER THAN YOUR SHITTY IDE16 -
So I tried to render the Facebook page plug-in and guess what..
Some guy at Facebook has added an online style on the preview: display: none !important.
So the plug-in preview was literally empty, thought I was not doing it right, how can the act of simply entering a url be wrong, seriously?
Production bug at Facebook facepalm -
Not really the start of a new job, but at a job interview I tried to pour myself some water and literally flooded the whole table :D
They invited me back for an internship actually, but I chose another company.1 -
Xcode: Xcode is the perfect place to make Apple Watch apps!
Apple Docs: literally nothing not even a single fucking useless piece of information
Xcode again: no8 -
"We totally know everything about SEO, you should trust us and pay us so your website is #01 because we know how Google ranks their shit" (not literally)
No fuck you. No one knows how google ranks pages. No one. And your pseudo information is even free to find on the first google result about seo that is above yours. Oh look, they must be better than you with that.3 -
Am I the only one who thinks that the new Linux CoC is actually not bad? I think most of the ppl who are flaming about the CoC didn't even read the text. It literally says not be be an asshole and be polite to everyone. What's wrong with that? I know that man think the author has a questionable background. Even if, so what? Dump the CoC and "pull the code" BS because you don't like the author? Let the politics out of open source and get your shit together... and yes I see the irony, but this is the place for ranting :)30
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This is from a DOS-era Packard-Bell recovery disk. No one out of the group of like 30 16-yr-olds could crack the password in the installer. I literally just opened it in nano.
What not to do when securing your shit: https://pastebin.com/27j169id7 -
I hate people that sends an email with a question and when you fail to reply within their arbitrary deadline (not in the email) they email you the same question but copying your boss and your boss's boss when they could've literally just walk 20 steps to ask the same question5
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Coworker Asks me for every little thing in the code 😑
He literally keeps asking me until I've written all the code for him and this goes on all day.
I really don't have a problem with helping him but he literally doesn't know anything (even the basic stuff) and is just getting code from other people and when I went on a holiday (3 days) he didn't do anything like literally no progress at all.
And yet he still gets paid more than me because I'm still a student 😥
Honestly I'm so done with this bullshit and I can't even get a job at a big company because apparently students are not dependable at all even if I do a better job than most devs who are 'years count' people where they barely knew anything and just do the job out of habit...15 -
Decided to go back to windows for a bit after not using it for about 6 months (on physical hardware) and literally forgot there was a start menu, minimise button, taskbar and that the window controls are on the right...
I have done the impossible and almost forgotten how to use windows, not sure if this is a good or bad sign9 -
Raise, zero releases on weekend, not mentioning for once that ChatGPT/Bard said this or that ...etc
I swear once ChatGPT gave my boss the exact opposite of what is mentioned in the documentation and I had to literally share the link of the docs so that boss believe me ... -
In russian, wagtails are called “трясогузка”, literally “a twerking bird”. “Трясо” is “shaking”, “гузка” is an obsolete term for “booty”, not tail. Hence twerking bird.
12 -
Client: Please add feature x in "here"
Me: Adds feature x in "here"
Fast forward to QA
QA: Test for feature x failed. Feature was added in "here" but is not in "there"
Me: There was no request to add x in "there"
Client: Feature x was already supposed to be in "there", you might have removed it.
Me: *Checks file where feature would be added.
* Git blame show no changes since received we the project (one major release back)
Lying cunt. I'm sick of your literally incomprehensible tasks giving government fucks, speak human language not overhead driven bureaucracy-jargon3 -
-click-
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
I just fucking made the temp table dude, that's what you literally do in step 1 .... how could it not....
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MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Me: "Oh there we g---"
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MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
Me: "Hey you just worked!"
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MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
GOD DAMN IT
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Me: Uh you're working now?
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Guess that API just needed breaking in....3 -
People hate Amazon, people like to hate on Amazon.
But people also keep buying from Amazon
This morning I took an amazon return package to DHL and literally at 17:00 this day (the same day!) I got the refund to my bank account
What the fuck. I mean yeah I hate amazon as much as the next guy. But that's literally why people are buying from amazon. You can't just say "amazon bad" and then not also appreciate when they are doing something good12 -
had to create a rather large CLI based application in Java as a graduate level assignment.
Doing shit like this makes me appreciate Node/Python/literally fucking anything else much more for this shit in which storing and retrieving JSON does not have to be that much of a fucking hassle WITHOUT using external libraries(they want it all made by hand)
I love Java, don't get me wrong, but I would rather use it for only a couple of things. I stopped working as a Mobile dev precisely because of Android being shit for Java. No, Kotlin does not fix it, its not the language that is my problem, its the fucking general architecture of the Android API that pisses me off.
And no, I do not care if you like it, like 1 fucking bit. I am not saying that the architecture is shit, I am saying that I did not like it.
Sigh.......oh well. Almost done with the assignment, but still.7 -
Getting "bug" tickets from customers complaining about EXACTLY WHAT I DESCRIBED WOULD HAPPEN. THATS NOT A F&)$*(%$(*# BUG, THATS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD WHAT I WROTE IN THE TICKET LAST WEEK YOU F&#*(@#$() NEANDERTHAL PIECE OF SH$%*(#(*)!!! WE AGREED ON THIS EXACT BUSINESS PROCESS WEEKS AGO. DO YOU EVEN READ THE WORDS THAT I WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5
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So a few weeks ago, our PO really scolded my team for not letting him in on our release planning meeting. His rant went on for about 30 minutes, just one long monologue about why he should be invited in the future.
Apparently he wanted to know details since there were some important fixes in the release, which I suppose is fair (though the rant is really not necessary).
Fastforward 2 weeks, we invite him again. He accepts, but never shows up. We decide to start the planning anyway, since we don't want the release branch blocked because someone didn't show up.
Immediately after the meeting, we write him with the new release plan. And he starts ranting again about "planning without him" -.- ..
1) Stop yelling at the team you're supposed to work with. Talk with the team about it - I'm sure they'll listen.
2) If you demand being in meetings, show up - or at least decline in advance.
3) You have no right to rant about "not being part of the planning" when you were literally invited for a planning meeting 2 weeks in advance. No meetings were overlapping, so there's literally no excuse..1 -
When the previous dev has written all datetime query lookups by date only, resulting in any values for the ladt day of the month to not be included.
THANK YOU.
Same wanker has copied and pasted same 100 lines of code over and over and literally changed one value in between. Obviously never heard of a function.3 -
I've had a shitty day. Spent half an hour arguing with my manager that my disability was something that they have to take into consideration. Literally had to explain that ADHD is protected under the UK equality act. Was fucking furious by the end, did no work for the afternoon, couldn't deal. I literally work for a medical company.
A couple of years ago I got told, "jokingly" by a colleague, that "learning disabilities are made up excuses for stupid people". I have a learning disability (dyspraxia). They lacked both the skills and knowledge to do my job.
Don't make jokes like that. They're not funny, and make you look stupid.11 -
Today marks literally the 4th time a recruiter has put me through to a technical test for a language/ framework i do not know. Even if you are tech illiterate just fucking ctrl f my cv to see if I know it. Absolute waste of time.1
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Isn't US literally using AI/Technology as a war weapon by making Google blacklist Huawei? I mean, I'm afraid. What will we do tomorrow if my county gets blacklisted (not so far by the looks of it)? Can we even trust Google anymore?
P. S. India..13 -
Wait... What..... Google Keyboard (Korean Ver) why the hell do you not have the [less than] [greater than] symbols..... When that switching key literally has the symbol on it!!!
2 -
Lua is one of the stupidest languages to ever exist.
Oh, the language is easy to learn? The syntax is friendly? There's only like negative 10 functions you ever need to know? Everything is a table?
EVERYTHING IS A TABLE?! WTF CARES? WHAT ABOUT NIL?!
The arrogance this language has is extraordinary, literally. No lang, except Lua, imposes such an opinionated dichotomy. Everything is a fucking table, or, it's nil. -- That's so fucking stupid.
And look, I get it, this lang (oh sorry, scripting language (?)) CAN be good and fun and whatever... the moment you start to do IO is the literal end of days.
Everything is nil. Except, if it's defined... then it's not nil. -- OK. That sounds sensible/reasonable enough. -- What if it's not defined? You get nil. What if it's not the right data? You get nil. Do I get errors/exceptions or whatever? No, absolutely not, you get nil... unless the application you're using with Lua with has a lib that handles that.
There are so many more issues I have with this lang, but honestly... Am I fucking missing something? Is this lang like actually super dooper awesome and I'm missing something? -- I can't not look at this language as just dumb and arrogant. -- It's literally a language where you have to manage and remember ALL conceivable state at ALL times.11 -
I started working for a startup around 2 years ago, I literally helped them survive in covid, I worked my ass off for them. (I was getting good money so no complain there) but now after 2 years I started looking for better opportunities and finally found one but now the old company guy is not letting me go they have froze my experience letter, not accepting resignation letter not even giving me my salary slips and since with all this frustration I stopped working 2 months ago and now I got blocked form every possible way to contact them.8
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German mobile carriers are the worst in the whole world: if you are not in a big city like Munich, Berlin etc the internet is literally not working (E everywhere c'mon)
And I didn't even mention the public wifi (login sucess rate: 1℅)5 -
Trying to debug why there's NaN% instead of 15% (project in JS).
Later realises isNaN(Val) literally checks for NaN datatype rather than Val is a number or not.
*shit*
Ctrl Shift F - isNaN in Atom (searches entire project), rethinks logic, refactors code
Looks around *no ones there*
Silently pushes the changes along with another major commit. -
Today I got a reply to a PR comment from a coworker literally stating that "it's not a good practice to add unit tests to hotfixes".
I can't, just can't. Left me speechless. Wonder where this guy gets his "good practices" from.
7 -
Conversion rates and shipping make it awfully expensive to get official t-shirts here in India, so I decided to experiment with t-shirt printing till the time I can earn enough to donate directly to open source foundations.
I call this design "FUCK YOU, AUTODESK!!"
(Yes it's literally just the logo. Yes I'm not a graphic designer)
Not too bad, but the print could've been better. Time to start tweaking things.
8 -
Finally finished the longest ticket I've ever worked on in my life. The ticket title and description was a pretty simple and straightforward one: "Upgrade from PHP 7.4 to 8".
If it was only so simple in real life. Our application is mostly done with API Platform framework, which is based on top of Symfony framework which is based on top of PHP language.
Once I did PHP 7 => 8 upgrade I needed to upgrade API Platform 2 => 3. But of-course that couldn't have been done as before that I needed to upgrade from Symfony 5 => 6.
This all was literally an equivalent of touching into a wasp nest - it took me a bit over 5 months and 800 hours of work and there was literally not a single source file left untouched.
In the process of all of this I've ran into literally dozen undocumented feature-breaking changes, broken backwards-compatibility promises and inside out architectural changes - from both the frameworks and the language itself.
Upgrading just one major version of anything SHOULD NOT be so hard. And to top it all up just to think I will need to do this again in a year or two..
Experiences like these really set my hate for time-based model of releases and the state of today's development in general.
6 -
So, as I'm currently cut off from the world of tech, my anxiety in regards to research has settled and I actually enjoy doing it again on my terms. It just makes me jealous to look at all these people developing cool stuff and wanting to get in on the project and maybe improve a part or two, particularly the robot kind. I want to slap some neural nets on majority of the robotic shit I see, or optimize them, or do something to make them more robust... But I don't have a research position right now where I can spend time and money doing that. So I just sit in front of my laptop and sulk.
... And literally this is why we can't have nice things. Cuz I'm not hired to make nice things. Literally.2 -
Turns out getting users to put in literally any effort to do something ends up in them putting in zero effort and just not bothering. Users suck.2
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It does give you that cold rush feeling, when a low level support agent can just use some sort of "user impersonation" feature and literally send you screenshots of your conversations or other, what seems private information and should be only used for actual escalated staff, for when there's a need for an actual middleman (ie. client not paying - logs review) and for everything else there should be a test account they can do screenshots from, e.g. for general website use questions3
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Love my new job but fuck they are way behind in any kind of modernization.
Just saw a demo over zoom where someone was showing the team how to change the margin on an error page.
They literally changed the HTML directly in prod using the VIM. So first of all no web modernation because there was no build, no deployment, not git, no pipeline - NOTHING!
This project went from 40 people to around 200 in 6 mos. You can't have all these people in prod just making fucking changes.
If this job did not pay 110k a year I would bail.9 -
What the hell did I miss?
I've been seeing lots of dev communities joking/not joking about replacing C++.
Did we somehow replace all C code in literally every embedded product overnight?10 -
Me: Ugh i want to try a hackintosh again but all my SSD's are in my PC already and its not worth spending $100 for a small one...
*Leans back in chair literally knocking 3 SSD's off my shelf* -
I just thought of a terrible scenario. So here it is:
You invent a revolutionary machine which can communicate with the dead. It's a marvel of technology and could reveal secrets about the afterlife.
After turning it on and getting in contact with the dead, the only thing they want to talk about is how much you masterbate. They literally will not talk about anything else.
Would you share your discovery?1 -
I really couldn't help but laugh when I found this gem of an error message. I mean, I'd literally know just as much if it served me a blank page.
If you can't describe your own god damned error message without calling it 'generic', IT IS NOT A GOOD ERROR MESSAGE!
I'm glad they informed me it's an application error though. HERE I WAS THINKING MY TOASTER WAS THE PROBLEM.
2 -
Well, my country has a Degree called Bsc.CSIT which literally means Bachelors of Science Computer Science and Information Technology. I completed that degree and was employed right after I completed my degree. I have worked in two offices and no one cares what degree I have.
So I think Degree is not that necessary here in Nepal as long as you can get the job done.
Now I am about to pursue a Big Data related degree hope that is not as worthless as my current degree.1 -
Was watching a video tutorial narrated by a south asian guy(am not racist). Middle of the tutorial, he burped. I rewind the video to confirm if he actually did that. Mofo literally burped.
Now i feel stupid that I rewind to hear that.11 -
I updated Linux on my private pc to new major and literally everything broke like it was 2006. I was surprised because i hadn't this for ages but not even mad - because i knew it would be fixable. It took me 1 hour, than everything was okay again. I wish the fixability in crisis in my relationship was as reliable. Maybe I should marry Linux instead.13
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So, we've been on Deutsche Telekom for about 9 months. Shitty connection in the countryside but literally not one outage.
For the last 6 weeks our internet has been dropping out with no obvious cause.
Just this week we start getting calls if we'd like to upgrade to a package with LTE...
I'm finding the coincidence just a little too convenient.1 -
So here I am investigating something our users are claiming. I look up which user the UserId did the change and I see not only the user but also the users password in clear text in a separate field. I thought that field was for a password hint that the user can set up, but I asked around and apparently, no... It's literally the plain text version of the password stored in the database, next to the hash of the password.
Apparently, the users were so impossible to deal with that we added that column and for users that constantly pester us about not knowing their password and not wanting to change it, we added a plaintext password field for them :D2 -
That day we had the weekly meeting with my boss to tell him what was new since last week.
We were 2 developers, I did the backend and the other guy did the frontend.
I tell him we had nothing new on the frontend. Literally not even one more line of code.
He tells me he gave the other guy some money the day before to encourage him to engage a bit more on the project.
The meeting is about to end when we receive a message in the development group, the guy said he wasn't going to continue in the project.
Not like that, dude.5 -
So, I'm working on some stuff, Bitcoin Cash related. And you see, I feel I'm actually doing so much progress, and that's good. The thing is that I always forget to commit and I end up commiting and pushing like 5 or more changes on 5 or more files that are literally not related.
I feel stupid2 -
If I don't stop being a piece of shit entropy will prevail and my life in general will suck
I need to do something different like stopping being a crazy bastard that literally does exactly the same fucking things over and over and then denies them when someone confronts me
I need to admit that time is passing and has passed and it's devouring me
And a big part of this is not trying to cover my tracks because I'm not I'm fucking myself.
With the more positive changes I make the better the world around me will become.
I've been failing and I keep getting it worse in general.7 -
FUCKING FUCK I CANT FUCKING HANDLE THIS
WHY THE GODDAMN ***FUCK*** DOES CINNAMON NOT HAVE DOCS FOR ITS DESKLETS
THE ONLY TUTORIAL RELATED TO IT IS FROM FUCKING 2014
THERES LITERALLY ZERO DOCUMENTATION ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET
HOW ARE PEOPLE MAKING DESKLETS AND APPLETS WITHOUT DOCS4 -
!rant Bought a fertility hormone test and so I have to wake up early tomorrow to lancet two (or more!) fingers and bleed on some index cards (not literally index cards, probably) before mailing them to a lab. Fun times, fun times. 😅6
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! Worst thing another dev did in our NodeJS code.
1. No indentation. Literally.
2. A single function in a module worth 1000 lines. I'm not even kidding. No breaking into smaller functions. Just a large rock with a lot of js mess scribbled.
3. No comments at all
4. Sending stray values to promises which were not required at all.
5. No jsdoc. Using camelCase and uppercase interchangeably.2 -
my boss, recently: "Partner company is complaining about seg-faults in our software" [the system is still in testing, not deployment]
me: "tell me what steps to reproduce the error and I'll fix it"
boss: "I'd like to prevent seg faults from happening no matter what"
...I literally can't even at this point5 -
argh!!!! The fucking IT guy just went in and changed shit without permission on the company intranet I manage. It was awful! A subpage would literally have 25 words on it and then a link to a doc that referred to list of files on another subpage! WTF! Also these were not added to the navigation bar either. This is a Google site so easy to fix it but mothafucka jeez!!!
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So the gf just came home, threw this in my face (literally, but not intentionally) and said "they were giving these away, thought you might have fun".
I've only heard of raspberry pi, arduino and such, but never actually used one.
Anyone have any experience with this thing in particular? Can I actually do anything with it or is it mostly for learning?
8 -
Had to work with a lazy, stupid idiot who (literally) couldn't declare an empty string. Got in via nepotism and not only were there no basics but also no willingness to improve.
Something tells me that throwing someone out shouldn't be a pleasant thing to do but hell, I'm so happy that we can finally stop carrying that piece of dead weight and get back to pure coding without having to teach Programming 101 on the side.4 -
ok so imagine this I am in school waiting for the infinite loading screen on a website to load
so I go into cmd and do the tasklist command and I kid you not the person next to me said are you hacking ME I LITERALLY JUST DID TASKLIST MOFO12 -
Does anyone know if android 8.0.0 had a Bluetooth bug at all?
My pebble would just not stay connected to my phone (they are both brand new at that point) and when they did randomly connect it was for literally a second.
Now with 8.1 it hasn't disconnected once... I'm so confused!37 -
Have you ever wondered why !important is even working? Imagine this:
element {
color: #FF0000 !important;
}
It literally means the red color is NOT IMPORTANT. And this overwrites previous CSS rules such as in this example, previous element.color. Like seriously, where is the logic here? :D10 -
For God's sake why can't you just keep consistency across your fucking files? I have to parse 3 different XML files from the same source where I have "ZipCode", "zipCode" and "Code" for the same thing.
Not to mention that the file that contains all the streets in the country have literally one street node for every motherfucking street. Not one city parent and multiple street children that would make sense and would be faster to parse, but clearly that wasn't your intention you retarded cunt.2 -
"Java and C++ Spring Boot and Angular Ansible Jenkins Azure Hosting"
nice, a stack for boomers lost in the 2000s
stop it. just stop it.
"Some other tech buzzwords we use"... yeah, "typescript" and "big query" are not "tech buzzwords" they're literally the names of languages and/or tools
tell me you're an HR rube without telling me you're an HR rube
😩😩😩 <- love this one, literally called "weary face"5 -
OK, lets again talk about net neutrallity
The FCC said they dont give a shit about the people and will not listen to them.
OK. Got it?
So, what now?
Write your ISPs about the Problem! Thats literally the only thing I can Imagine to do! But honestly, I think its still useless... It still wont help... Were all doomed6 -
Soundcloud used to know how to shuffle your liked tracks. Not it only shuffles the tracks that are in the playlist and the playlist only contains the (literally) visible tracks.
Basically, If you want to shuffle more than 30 songs at once you hace to scroll down for it...3 -
How did I not know there was a devrant website. Literally thought it was only an Android/iPhone app.4
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Pretty late for week 86, but I just remembered my first paid freelancing web dev work.
While not my worst experience, it was a pretty horrible task given to me...
I was helping someone implement a new design on a pretty outdated (visually and technically) PHP site.
I was getting paid crap. The guy wouldn’t even let me look at the HTML, let alone touch it, so definitely no PHP work, either...
Literally the only code I was allowed to write was CSS. So, I’m supposed to be restyling, but I can’t change the structure at all, or even ADD CSS SELECTORS.
Fine, I’ll just make your site fragile as fuck by using nested relative selectors.
#main:nth-child(3) > div > div > div > button
As if that wasn’t bad enough, there were some pages...I shit you not...that had A DOZEN LEVELS OF NESTED TABLES.
WHY. DEAR GOD WHY.
For a simple checkout page.
So, on some pages I was literally trying to access elements through relative selectors, nested within levels and levels of tables. FFS
Needless to say, I did not work for him for long. Even if I wanted to deal with that crap, my time is much more valuable than what I was being paid. -
What is it about robot collected data that makes researchers so anal? Like, dude, it's not even personal data. It's literally robot's joint motor recordings. It's not nuclear data, so why the fuck do you protect it like your life and your country depend on it?
I hope you get fisted by that data every night and how it will end up in oblivion sooner because you didn't publish it. You asshole.8 -
!dev
Jesus Christ, if the cucks at this company don't start cleaning the coffee machine them-fucking-selves, I'm going to flip my shit.
There's been a chalk warning for about a month now and nobody is doing shit about it.
They leave the excess coffee powder in until either I clean it out or it literally starts to mold.
And it's not like they don't use it, everybody here drinks at least two cups a day, do you not care if it tastes at least a little all right!?
Nobody is ever going to get even a half decent cup out of this janky piece of shit.8 -
If literally anything in our system stops working the supervisor's immediate response, regardless of whether it makes sense or not is to tell us to clear the browser cache. There are circumstances where that drives me absolutely up a wall.
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Why are some people incapable of reading documentation? THE "DUPLICATE RECORDS" IN OUR KAFKA TOPIC ARE BECAUSE ITS AN EVENT STREAM AND NOT A DATABASE. THIS IS LITERALLY ON THE FIRST PAGE OF THE GUIDE YOU ABSOLUTE MORONS.3
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When people (mostly girls) ask me what I study in college and immediately answer themselves with "oh it's IT or something like that, right?" a part of me just dies. They literally think I'm studying how to work at help desk or fix printers. I'm not even exaggerating, a girl once told me she actually thought that. I'm not sure if she's just dumb as fuck or if most people actually think that about computer science, hopefully it's the former...15
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- Implemented oauth1 - no body hashing
- URL contains credentials in plain text
- Used Azure API management feature as a proxy of the our API, however the documentation was on the our API, thus exposing the API URL with no management to developers.
- easy resource DDoSing because each trial user got a DB, the registration process did not have bot checks. You could literally freeze the db instance by spamming registration requests. -
The struggle it is to find some music and sounds for a small game I'm working on...
I have even come across this website that provides "free" sound effects, but every single track costs like $2.95. The word "free" was literally in their website name.
And then I didn't even mention the fact that 80% of these websites ask you to log in to download files from their end.
At last but not least, some are offering .mp3 files for free, while the .wav version, with the EXACT SAME FUCKING content costs money. I could literally just use a file converter
Can't wait until I get my stuff to create my own music and sound effects3 -
It literally haunts me that I've used jQuery in a reactjs project, I'm not saying that jQuery is bad but using it does not seems right, I can't sleep, always thinking about a solution, fml5
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Okay but whys no one talking about w3js? Its not a complete overhaul of the entire frontend shit, it doesnt introduce fucked up concepts, it literally just abstracts away those 10 functions everyone creates a function for in the first 2 minutes either way, its actually useful.1
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Why is it accepted that cs people just have poor hygiene. If I walk into a room and almost get floored by the stench if BO it doesn't make it acceptable to say "you're not used to it? It's that cs smell, man." like, ok. that dude should still go fucking shower.
Literally the entire lab was just rank from one guy, and the room is at least 30X1005 -
Gotta make a bullshit deck, not really my job, but I guess it makes a change...
Right-click, save image.
It's a webp file...
...oh just FUCK OFF WEBP YOU F-oh, actually, I'm making this in Google Slides. That's literally their own format! I'll just save these as webp, no need to worry.
(ten minutes and lots of saving later)
Drag a webp file into Google Slides, in Google Chrome:
"Sorry, this format is not supported."
Even your parents hate you, webp. Time to have a nice bath with a bar heater, webp.2 -
!(rant && story)
It hit me today. I literally 100% fit the exact stereotype for a backend developer.
And it's not wrong, I love backend dev and hate frontend work with a burning passion (even though I can do it)
whyyyy1 -
Literally the worst part about my boss is that he has to talk over everyone. I can't get a fucking moment to say anything.
Its really fucking exhausting.
I've just learned to not say anything because it's not fucking worth it.1 -
Should you not know or not have realised it years after your study: "video" literally means "I see" and "Volvo" (the Swedish car brand) means "I roll" in Latin.3
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Y'know, up until now, everyone was just bragging about who has the most ++s... (I'm kidding, that didn't really happen... I think...?)
But now that we have ++s in binary, we can literally brag about who has the LONGEST... string of ++s.
Not... something else. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Oh well, size doesn't matter anyway.
Happy Easter/April Fools! °u°2 -
How did we normalize Project Managers (non-technical scumbags who literally just make excel sheets and track work items) yelling at Developers (they literally get everything done).
Imagine having PMs yelling at surgeons for not removing a tumor fast enough or something.5 -
!rant
So as my recent rants might have conveyed, my job has been pretty shitty lately. So as we do I started looking around for other openings. Not that I would take them right away, but I want to know. This led to a realization that I'm literally at the best paying, top rated, firm doing the best work in nearly a nearly 100 mile radius of my home. There's a few government jobs that want top secret and 10 years experience, but for anything less than that my current position is literally the best. This is not what I expected the top to be like. And the fact that it took me over a year to realize that I'm actually at the top and have been is super weird.
Thing is I don't know what I expected the top to be like nor did I expect to be here so quickly after finishing school.
I know this is dev rant not dev ramble but this was one of those formative moments where I just really don't know how to process this info.
Anybody had similar feelings? Like looking for someone to help and realizing, not in a egotistical way, just in a sobering way, that you are literally the best and most qualified person out there.3 -
I had the opportunity to ask some basic security questions of a government system that is rolling out (got invited to a meeting).
So now I am absolutely terrified about any technology that is being rolled out by this particular government agency. Their security model literally ends at "we use HTTPS".
Seriously, how the fuck are these systems not audited before they reach public use? Is this normal??4 -
I know that not everyone here is Mac friendly; but my job just helped me purchase a new MacBook Pro, and it will be arriving tomorrow. It's the new one with the AMD 560 x 4GB, and touch bar. I'm literally shaking I'm so excited!!11
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I know this is incredibly fucking minor, but
MY LAST HALF-DAY OF CPD HAS BEEN DROPPED AND I'M MAD ABOUT IT
I have literally two weeks left and they will. not. stop. pulling this shit. AAAARRGHHHH3 -
Had my first and second stage interviews with a company all in the space of a few days.
Literally the day after the second interview, I got an email back saying I impressed them and they'll get back to me with the details of the next stage of the process soon (whether that's another interview or something else I don't know).
That was 2 weeks ago. Waiting and not knowing is the worst thing ever!!7 -
I have legitimately identified an 9 figure (possibly more) market with 1. massive demand, 2. sufficient supply, 3. literally, I kid you not, zero companies in the field. No regulations to speak of.
The overhead is trivial and it is very much a network-effect based market.
No I am not joking. Yes this is real.
What do?
edit: 9 figures not 8. Yes it's that big.12 -
Bruh, imagine paying taxes for a site that literally throws a cryptic error message, instead of telling you "Page not found", because those retards literally redirect to /Account/Login after successfully logging in.
Even better, most people here are don't understand English well enough to understand what is going on.
And I pretty much doubt an admin has been informed...
3 -
:-(
Firefox doesn't map correctly the controller (Xbox One) but it works on Chrome. (FF on Android Works)
This is literally the first time (for me) that something works on Chrome and not on FF. (at first shot)
usually it is the opposite.
One point for Chrome (this time)
but still 6,022*10²³ Points for FF.3 -
Wtf is happening to tech security... Last 4 months
All WiFi is now crackable. .. in short amount of time
Windows . . Annihilated with this new bug might not be fixable... and work back on all of them
iPhones cracked ...
Linux dirty cow ...
Android been suffering.
And everyone knows Mac's security is joke ...
Finger prints ... Made pointless on everything.
Literally all going to shit .. 😐
And I know how to do all this... It's all out in the open not even hard to find8 -
Incredible that these companies with literally no product, and barely a website (if any) come around offering 100K+ jobs
They have funding out of their ass but literally NO real-world value... it's amazing to me.
Guess it really is not what you can do but who you know.1 -
I feel some people are ruining fucking software packages on purpose.
There is a particular editor I'm not going to mention the name of, and when I download it via rpmfusion, part of it that is quite important doesn't work.
when I download it from github it crashes based on an INTERNAL py file not being present that literally was not included in the crap appimage distribution !
Additionally why are you people so fucked up ?
What is wrong with you all ?1 -
Fuck you Mobike!! Stop polling your applog.mobike.com server literally every 10 fucking seconds when your app is not even running! And why the fuck did it suddenly start last night, of all things? It's fucking creepy and invasive.
Related question: does anyone know how to permanently shut down a background app service on an unrooted android 7? Even if I kill the background process (not the app itself - that one has not even been opened), it still restarts a minute later3 -
Visual Studio Code + Mac = not lightweight, really not that good performance
I mean the battery is burning. Literally, i plug my mac out and after a hour the battery is dead10 -
I want to say my thanks to this one seeder with one seeder out of 300+, who uses that niche tui torrent client. For some reason I was struggling to get this torrent to work, all day long. Despite being connected to multiple peers at the time, I was not able to transfer any data. Fixes literally 2 pending on my system trying to resolve this and suddenly this person comes along and I have a stable transfer rate 🙏🙏🙏2
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So this stupid fuck whose react code is a clusterfuck of bugs just bashed me when I said Java is better then node because of reasons...
I was literally speechless while thinking if I should humiliate her or not.
Guess life will show her because I don't give a fuck. -
So,the lecturer is discussing with the other lecturers to not let us cs101 students use lists when writing our Python solutions because he says that the students don't know how to think in terms of lists.fuck,coz literally every single solution of mine used lists.If they subtract marks,i will not put up with that.Just because the other students have absolutely damn no clue about what they doing when they using lists it doesn't mean they can stop me.3
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If I had a fucking dollar for every time someone interrupts me at work. I literally get bothered in the hour by people in QA that have nothing better to do ( not taking shots at QA ). What irks me is when they continue to chat up a storm behind me with someone else when I finally get the point across.1
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It took me literally 2 months or less to surpass any and all my teachers on the subject of Unity3D.
Granted they didn't know shit about it, but that also ment that i had roughly 10 more months of them not being able to teach me jack shit.
I have self learned a lot in that time, but imagine what a decently knowledgeable teacher could have made of that process. I would have known so much more by now!1 -
I don't understand why people drive with high beam on, even when it's not needed!
Is it only in India or anywhere else too?
Literally, I'm so frustrated with this shit.
This point should be the very first and most important in the list of the learning driving.
12 -
For the first time in a very long time, I am out of a software engineering job. I have no idea why I am handling this so well. I literally have no idea if I will get another job or not but for this month, I am working on myself and learning more on FP which is really fun btw. Is this maturity?9
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Never understood why people bloody love their code. It's good to be happy about it, but
beats the zest for refactoring or any other sort of improvement.
Took me an hour to explain a senior dev why his changes introduced bugs in build.
Literally landed to the point reverting his commit and demonstrating the damn build to work.
To which he replies what if the data is corrupt
Damn it's not the data, it's your bloody senses.2 -
Why must coming up with ideas be so fucking difficult, trying to work out names for variables and working out a file structure that makes sense for the SDK I'm working on is literally the only thing holding me back at this stage...
Ugh being a perfectionist and programmer is not a good mix .-.
EDIT: also just remembered of 2 YouTube series I want to make but can't think of a title so I haven't done them... Fantastic1 -
What the Fuck!!!!!
Within next 3 days my Release date was set. I was to join a new company. My current fucking manager screwed things by postponing my release date because the new replacement they hired had not totally understood the project. Well, who the fuck told you to hire literally few days away from my release. My manager expects that the new resource learn everything I know. Fuck off man, I cannot spoon feed a person on everything.1 -
What is the point of removing code that will literally be added back in on another story? I just don't get it. I am in the code. It took two seconds to fix it but because it is not part of the story that i am working on someone is going back and ripping it out even though the next story is to put it in. Don't fucking complain to me because we are behind on this fucking project.
2 -
As a dev, not a manager, what's the maximum number of projects you can handle at once?
I know it depends on the workload but wanna see how others do on average.
Literally fried up with so many projects put on my shoulders after the exodus from my company since they f-ed up bonuses and hikes.
Also, why does every manager think their project is The Priority one? Selfish assholes.6 -
I've never had to put up with bullshit after bullshit after FUCKING BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE
ONE THING GOES WRONG SO I MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE OH SHIT I LOST THE CORD, FOUND IT, DOESNT WORK, FIX THAT, "COULD NOT EXPAND FILESYSTEM PLEASE TRY RASPI CONFIG" BLAH BLAH. I WAKE UP THINKING TODAY WILL GO SMOOTHLY BUT LINUX DECIDES TO FUCK ME OVER THEN I TRY TO GO TO THE PI BUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO JUST REFUSES TO WORK6 -
Start up my windows gaming machine, the internet adapter is not recognized... sigh.
2 years with my macbook pro for work, 0 issues. Literally "it just works".
And no thanks, I already went through that teenager phase of my life where I'd shout "omg I use linux I'm so special" and then browse through 5 forums to solve a stupid issue from any tool by "just build it from source, follow these 12 steps and apt-get these other 20 dev libs"8 -
Fucking Fucking Fuck.... fucking acumatica and fucking IIS.
I’m not shitting on CS or ASP but the fucking windows server/IIS implementation. No one should use that shit. Fucking horrendous garbage.
Literally every goddamn thing we do in acumatica has major fucking gotchas.
Today apparently goddamn concurrency is fucked cause IIS and acumatica. I love friggen obscure issues being only documented in a friggen comment on a damn post in a random difficult to search corner of the friggin internet.4 -
How I fucking HATE AMVs!
Im just looking for a song and... BOOM!
200+ search results are AMVs with that song, like fucking hell people!
Its not even fucking quality content!
Here, I wrote a Tutorial on how to AMV in literally 10 fucking seconds.
How to AMV:
Get some clips, Some copyright free music, premiere pro or After effects.
Import all of it into timeline
Go to transitions
Mash all of it together
export
call it "Quality Content"5 -
Performing code review for design quality.
So you return HTTP code 200 for 'ok'. So what do you return when things are not 'ok'?
Obviously something that's not 200. Like 300 (The message with the code was literally "not okay").1 -
How often does this happen to you?
Hmm I need to install the nodemon package, ok so I enter:
npm install -g nodemon
Result:
npm WARN
npm WARN
npm ERR
npm ERR
npm ERR....
I then wonder why would it not work??? Then after looking at the errors I realise ohh:
sudo npm install -g nodemon
This literally happens to me almost every single time I install a package.8 -
Joined a new workplace. Lead wants me to research on the available list of certain frameworks.
But they have already built a couple of services using certain frameworks and they don't seem to be having any issues with them.
I asked why look for new ones when you already have stuff that work for you and they're like "It's working - is not a reason to not look for new ones".
I mean WTF? Isn't "Don't try to fix things that are not broken" literally the point?4 -
I've been waiting for over a week to get permission to add finished code to a part of our intranet site. My work have been delayed. Had to tell people to wait. Makes me look bad.
I have read access. It's nothing top secret. It's literally about some guy not ticking a checkbox for whatever reason. -
Imagine a "development" environment with no vcs, no APIs, no general hierarchy for db admin or software development, no test environment. Well this was my first job.
Quite literally a dumpster fire.
I know I'm not a world class developer but I still think this was beyond unacceptable for a software startup.2 -
Is it just me or does the youtube frontpage take like ~12 seconds to load until you can click and interact with it recently?
I have the same happening on my laptop if I login to youtube (with literally only ublock installed on it and not logged into chrome, so it won't just sync random plugins or something from my PC).4 -
Posting after a break. I'm quite unproductive these days. No OSS, no side project, I'm literally doing nothing. Before you ask, I'm not depressed or even sad, just unproductive right now. I don't know if it's because of this weird time of the year, you know. 2020 is ending and I'm just tired but I believe this is a crucial time as I'm looking for placement. I just wanna go to hibernation. FML.3
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Fuck just got back from an interview and realized the "optimal" answer I have to one of the questions is actually not.... And the question was literally from Cracking the Coding Interview... In like Chapter 1...
-
!rant
I've been coding for just about 2 months now! I literally dont wanna do anything else!! Its all I can think about... I know im not qualified to work a dev job yet lol but I wish i could nab a junior dev position so I can practice 9-5 not just after business hours and on the weekend... -
My Fuxking iPhone just keeps scrolling up. I have no idea why and it did not drop. It’s literally a week old. Among all the shit I have refused to give a shit about, this now number one. In a way it controls my social media usage. Scrolling down Instagram and suddenly it bounces back up like “bitch get off this damn app”. I oblige. My ability to simply not give a fuck always surprises me. Lmao I can’t even scroll down my emails without two fingers, one literally holding the screen so it doesn’t bounce back up. Apps that auto load are the worst and I should probably be more concerned. I can barely use iMessage coz it keeps scrolling up to previous messages and coz of how iMessage was built, it’ll simply keep scrolling up to load old messages.5
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Was browsing stackoverflow and saw how they handle votes in comments, clearly indicating one is to upvote (like other websites), the other to (quite literally) flag said comment for moderation purposes (it even clarifies when you hover it! amazing!).
Quite different to devrants UX. :)
On another note, glad to see the time capsule website still didn't change since years back, people even discovered that not everything is a rant. :^)
Couldn't spot any edgy pre-teens either scrolling a bit.
1 -
Literally vs figuratively... That hilarious anecdote where something went derp did not cause you to literally die. You fuckwit.1
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Yes, a rant
About iPhone
Not apple watch though
You can literally build a computer with far better specs with how much they are charging for it
iPhones are literally expensive PoS depencies for Apple Watches (actually tried a bunch. AppleWatch is years ahead it's competitors
Change my mind. You won't21 -
Is it just me, or do REST API's literally rule the world right now?
Feeling like I can automate the universe.
But this is a real question. Are there reasons to avoid using web API's rather than sending data through some kind of shared database? I guess I'm not even sure what the alternatives would be right now... Are there disadvantages I should know about?3 -
why does preg_split work on my local copy but not on production? WHY DOES IT RETURN LITERALLY NOTHING? IS PHP JUST HELL? AAAAAAAAA9
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Have this problem which already took me well over a day to figure out.
Thinking: "I might try SO, maybe I'll get an answer there.".
*Posts question with nice explanation and code example.*
Literally 5 mins later: question is marked as duplicate of a super generic question, which does not answer mine.1 -
!rant
So yesterday, I was testing some new features that I just implemented in this project at my internship. The thing did not work.
Today, I came in, literally changed nothing, opened up the test again, and now the features work perfectly fine.
I don't know how to feel about this. Veteran programmers, please give me some advice. -
Starting the day with Management complaining about budget and how R&D spends a lot. I start talking about the form to get a machine to a developer, that requires detailed information about the specs, proper justification, provide price comparison, fields of text which I know their departments will not check or fully comprehend BUT administration type departments always get the latest MacBook when their work literally involves little more than read emails, PDFs, write word documents and not high demanding software tools. R&D colleague suggests that a Raspberry pi would suffice for what administration personal needs out of a PC.
Management didn't comment.1 -
I have these gulp tasks to preprocess my css and html. months ago it was all polished and working great.
I run the commands today, npm complains about deprecated something and doesn't let me run... I do updates, I try to run again: "Right now osX is not supported".
I literally did not change anything all these months.
Fuck you npm.3 -
people who write code like this actually give me heart palpitations. No it is not cleaner, you literally broke the block, it's disgusting.
if(statement)
{
doSomething();
}8 -
Prestashop Q&A website ... Who the hell thought it was a good idea to have COMPARATIVE bars not be aligned. This is literally UX 101.
Glad that's the last project i have to do on this platform for a while ...
-
Sad story , i guess im not the only one.
I have literally no friends who like to code or who seem to like but are lazy. Nothing
Is boring to work on personal projects or school projects like this :/
But today found out that theres only one in my school who does this, he is not that much into it but when he asked me what languages i use, also if i use php ...
I was happy inside to know that im not the only one in my school :D
That's all! Is here anyone or was in this situation , having no friends who like to code 🤔1 -
Shame on you Facebook Developers!
I’m neither messy or anal coder, but whenever I push something to production I make sure to handle all debugger warnings... I don’t think it’s perfectionism, rather good practice, makes important bugs easier to find. ;)
A single Facebook SDK Framework has 70+ unhandled warnings, trivial things, could be fixed in a half day...
I had to use ‘inhibit_all_warnings!’ flag literally for the first time, not to get frustrated every time it gets updated :/
P.S Not to mention I had to change the dependency manager because (with the newest update) they have written themselves out of compatibility with the one I was using... C’mon guys. Not cool. -
I built an api to sync data between two systems. It is simple, if I have new data to send, I call their api with data. If success, get Json response back or error if not.
Today the guy from other side asked me for "acknowledgement" endpoint. I was literally WTF?
He explained me very clear, when I call their api, it can be either success or fail, so for those success or fail, he will send the response to my "ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ENDPOINT" to tell me if success or not.
*facepalm*8 -
Not really developer related, but today, my girlfriend was trying to convince me why taking the stairs was better then the elevator. She decided to not mention the health benefits, not talk about safety risks. The argument she chooses is that "stairs have less steps" like what? Out of all the things you could have said, that is literally the worst argument. I can't think of a single statement less true! Like she could have stated pretty much any fact and that would have been a better argument. I don't understand what's going on in her head sometimes.3
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Stop bullying AoK. The dude suffers from the worst disease known to man — schizophrenia. This is literally the absolute worst thing that can happen to anyone.
You’re not funny. You’re not witty and clever. You’re witnessing agony and help pouring gasoline into the fire.
Stop it. What happened to him is a disaster. You know about my mother and what she did to me, yet I won’t give her schizophrenia as a revenge if I had that sort of power.3 -
I am really fed up with people emailing me asking about how they can use methods of a library I wrote when the answer is literally in the f***ing JavaDoc. At first I thought it might be me not being comprehensive enough in my doc, but when I literally started sending copies of what I wrote there and got a lot of "Thanks that makes it clear"emails I became really fed up with the laziness of some people. I find it disrespectful to my weeks of work for someone who wants to use it to not read a few lines when in doubt.1
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Tried to boot ReactOS on real hardware.
ALL the driver issues, and no way to fix them (USB had drivers assigned but only had power, not even my mouse worked.)
God I wish ReactOS was laughed at less. There's so much here that could grow into a full Windows replacement, but people are too busy laughing to help.
It's like comparing Windows 2.x to Windows 7 or 10. There's something there, it's just not progressed far enough to get up to where it could be. (Not literally ofc, metaphorically)2 -
Dear God, why are punishing me by another bug report related to Edge?
Console dock freezes commonly for MINUTES, literally. It doesn't support objects, so every object is very usefully converted to "[object Object]" string. And now I am discovering that change event on input is magically not firing?
What a day. This would be solved in Chrome or Firefox in a matter of minutes, for a same time Edge doesn't even manage to render a page with dev tools opened FFS...2 -
Can you come up with something to spend money on that is even more useless and worthless than NFT?
I honestly tried. I thought of the most dumb crap but it had still some potential collection value or at the very least entertainment value.
NFTs don’t give you anything in return. It’s not a license, it’s not a currency, it isn’t shares, it isn’t art, not entertainment, not physical, not limited to some domain so not suitable to be collected by collectors.
You can’t even brag about owning it because you are owning just a kind of reference to it and not the actual thing. It is not like an ownership certificate because the seller of the NFT doesn’t even have the rights to sell the ownage for it, or the thing is not ownable. And if it was ownable, an NFT wouldn’t make you the official owner of it, because NFTs are not official.
I started to think about it because I can’t believe how many people spend so much money on literally nothing.
So, seriously let me know if you can up with something that beats NFTs in that regard.10 -
Why does my client refuse to use ZenDesk to report issues? It's literally just changing the to address in your email. They bitch about us not having formal processes and then don't follow the ones that we have. *sigh*1
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i am taking some pills for hemorrhoids and yesterday i was combined them with my third coffee. Somehow i was full of energy and i started coding like f crazy. I was literally writing code withe the speed and tension you see in movies, or if you like it, like our non tech bosses are thinking we work 8 hours a day for granted. I did not know what was happening, i was typing correctly, fast, and i want to live it again. Dope, adrenaline, aggression!
The code must fear us, not we the code!2 -
Once again I go into interviewing with literally 4 minutes notification ahead of time on who the candidate is (obviously I still don't really know or understand what the hell is about to happen)
Management does not have their head screwed on straight; it's that simple
#startuplyfe #scrappy #turnthatmindsetintoagrindset1 -
GraphQL or REST?
I'm not really worried about boilerplate (my research reveals it's roughly the same), I currently have a (very incomplete) REST interface, but that was just for testing.
Also, the API has no real usage yet (I only use it for submissions) and it literally exists for the sake of having an API (so I don't need to write it later).10 -
UPS website is a clusterfuck of bad design decisions.
I hate myself every time I have to use that piece of shit.
Someone literally went the extra mile to make it worse in any way possible.
I pray to God that person is not alive anymore.
Fuck them.4 -
I have a Sony Xperia tipo.
Super old.
The screen is not working.
Can I use some other screen by literally disassembling the whole cellphone and do some hakabuka? Or, is there any way that I can access the phone although it's locked and the screen is not working?1 -
I love it when someone wants you to troubleshoot an issue but will not give you a test user account to test with. So you have to sit with a user or talk with them over the phone while you troubleshoot. I'm literally elbows deep in the code and database, but you won't give me an account for security reasons. Ok, that makes complete sense.
-
Not seeing my students while I teach and coach them. I've lost quite a couple of them due me not being able to literally sit next to them and talk with them. Online lessons are okay bit it's the physically being there that makes me get those students back on track. Now I can not reach them. Ugh.3
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Could people kindly stop trying to expand upon the native DI in dotnet!
This is my third project where "you don't just" add new services because you have to carefully conform to hundreds of lines of boilerplate while "remembering to" whatever it demands because someone spent weeks hacking the builtin functionality in order to make it easier and shorten the startup file.
I'm trying to swap out one of the implementations that are used by one other class via DI and so far I've changed 12 files. It's literally more work to do the thing DI is designed to solve compared to not using DI because they "improved" upon it.
Sure, it might be that I'm not using your thing correctly, but that's not much better, is it. Everyone already knows how to use dotnet's DI. Literally noone knows how to use your improved version aside from yourself.
I liked how one of the team members put it after one of the former devs apologetically explained how this was some long-gone dev's baby: The only thing this code does for us is that it needs a diaper change every time we deal with it.2 -
Dear Manjaro,
Retroarch as the primary emulator frontend?
What the fuck?
Not Emulationstation, not literally anything else?! 😐
- Sincerely, Disappointed. -
I bought a new laptop literally the day before everyone found out about Windows 11.
Here’s hoping Dell is nice enough to ship with Windows 11 anyway.
Still, I’m planning on dual-booting so it’s not that big a deal19 -
This literally just happened: "Our network is down". No internet and backup seems to be failing as well. Thankfully I can still develop locally with git. Now to be able to focus. I'm not shitting you when I say a guy with a sandbelt machine is grinding down a door 3 metres away from me.
-
Service Controllers book us into the power stations and mines.
Was going to check a new client's current system and develop them a new one.
Service controllers booked the PM but not me.
Oh well, now there's a dev sitting outside a power station like an arsehole coding on his android because he has literally an hour or two to waste.
They do it out of spite, not out of mishap. -
So how do people feel about the ignored people, I haven't done it with anyone so don't know what people really feel.
I mean you are sitting there and they are literally not talking to you because you are very shy. Your name is not called out in a discussion even when you are one of the developers whose project is talked about, you were just ignored because you didn't speak up.
What do people really think about the people they ignore?8 -
Worst part of being a dev?
When you need to work together with people that are too stubborn. Recently I needed to work together with 2 guys and when they started ranting on me for literally nothing, I realized not everyone is able to work in a team.
Now im ranting back on them.
What are your experiences with people like this and what do you do to make teamwork more enjoyable? -
I literally cried to the Lord while reading the Rego language reference. Man, that thing is HARD to grasp.
After a while I just gave up and switched to Windows (wanted to play) but Windows needed to apply an update thus I decided to reboot and while GRUB was counting down I decided to turn back to Arch and give a try.
I was heard, now this damn policies works and the Go code do not panic anymore.1 -
Recruiter writes to me on LinkedIn for a job
Have an interview with the recruiter, everything smooth
Then interview with the HR of the company, everything smooth
Then the HR talks to the CTO, and the CTO is like "mmmmh this guy works as a consultant, I don't like this. Yeet him".
This absolute madman out there not giving a single flying fuck about consultants, head hunter, HR, only pure coding, literally living the dream. -
People thinking their computer problem justifies them being rude.
I've literally been in the middle of a conversation and someone walks up and hands me their computer and says "can you fix this?". Just because you work 20 feet away from me does not mean I'm your personal IT help.4 -
Webpack, requirejs, AMD, browserify all are wonderful tools but they don't play nice with node(client side) .
I LITERALLY switched between all, because the hacks worked but not quite. (Using node and electron, go figure!)
You know what they say fifth times the charm.
1 -
Me: [leaves comment on jira to not delete a file until team meeting tomorrow]
3 hours later...
Junior on slack: I saw your comment, any updates?
We had a meeting for story pointing, and not a sync meeting which is tomorrow.
Literally not talked about, whatsoever -
being 4th in line to maintain legacy code in a language I have never used before when the the last two guys were, and this is my boss telling me and not my judgment, 'incompetent.'
there are literally four functions in this class that all do the same thing... which is the one being called in this case... a seperate external function located in another file in a different language on a different server all together. 😐 -
So many people complain on how js is stupid (I did too not long ago), but at the same time you know there are good parts in it if there are books literally called "js: the good parts". So I've been thinking, why not make a subscript of it with all the recognised bad bits cut out? What do you guys think about that? Too bad I'm too underskilled to pull that off alone 😥1
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To put a tiny mechanical switch on the side of my phone that’ll turn of the Do Not Disturb mode. No, not buttons. Standard momentary buttons don’t have a persistent state. I need the state to be persistent even when the phone itself is turned off.
How hard can it be?
Too bad literally every android smartphone since the very first one has that switch, it’s like one of android’s iconic features, and crapple still can’t manage to do this. Clearly they cut on prices, I mean switch is more complicated than a momentary button.10 -
Do you know some good tech RSS,Atom,... Feeds?
Anything about programming, operating systems, hacking, Hardware would be welcome.
But please not something trash like nixcraft, where every article amounts to "How to do this very basic thing that is literally a oneliner but we felt its so complicated, it justifies writing an article about it."2 -
So, I have this colleague (tho he is a student in my company, while I'm an employee), who wants to build a site, but doesn't want to learn how to build one...
I literally gave him everything one needs, yet he still complains about it not working the way he wants...
He literally does one out of 3 things:
- play shitty games and cheats in them
- attempt to build a site without understanding the "why does it work?"
- bother me with dumb questions that have been asked 1000000 times on StackOverflow... -
Oh mannnnnn
We had a meeting with a data analyst today who is going to build an ML system for us.
...but at the start of the meeting, he didn't even know what our existing product even looks like!!!
...
Good one management!
Do I literally have to do EVERYTHING? It should be YOUR job to make sure every member has the essentials to participate in the meeting; YOU'RE the manager, NOT me!!!!
Oh also, let's not forget I got the meeting appointment HALF AN HOUR before it started...
#justmanagementthings
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 -
time for crowdsourcing awful ideas because bored!
what don't I need? what does literally nobody need? what is a terrible, awful, no good idea that should never exist? let's make it!
I'll go first: a compiler that automatically resolves compilation errors by removing the offending line continuously until it successfully compiles. defaults to quiet mode which does not report which lines were removed.1 -
I have literally spent around 3 hours to solve a problem with a class and then i realized that it's not what I needed.
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Spent half a day working on some code to add some functionality. Ran into some binary assumptions and found workarounds. Got everything implemented and close to start testing things. Not a lot of code, but a lot of places that needed careful attention to detail. Started looking at the final code needed for initializing things. Found that all the code I wrote would not be needed if I just initialize some things differently. Realized I don't need all this code. The code is literally redundant.
git checkout <changed files>
Okay, now I understand the code better. I am ahead because I am not maintaining code I don't need. Half a day of reading the code helps me understand everything that is there.
Life is good. 😀 -
God damn it, Gatling. Why didn't you put your fucking command line argument passing at the front of your docs instead of being buried under 'cookbook'? It's not a fucking recipe! it's core mother fucking functionality! "how do I run this command-line utility from the command-line by script?". "I don't know, maybe I should check the fucking cookbook since apparently it's not basic functionality that LITERALLY everyone using the fucking product will need!
So now I have to go back and parameterize one of the sims I've built AFTER I've mimicked our entire performance test matrix! FUCK! -
On April the 30th the code awakened in me.
From all the overnighters, the pressure it was already as if my brain was a suitable host. Of course it would not compile the code or be any kind of real VM, but all the business logic, all the pesky details of this mutilated code had literally been branded into the biomass of my brain.
I did not know how I kept on going. Amber, caffeine, valerian did not really help. But I staggered from step to step to keep that project running that should never have been begun. -
It feels good to be an intern. I literally do nothing. Or barely anything.
I know it's not something good but who says no to a big desk and extra monitor?
At least it's giving me a relatively "better" workspace.1 -
Being asked for and providing general computer user support... nothing irritates me more, especially when it's for family... I find myself getting angry at their incompetence, aware of it building but unable to prevent it.. like an out of body experience. I literally have to walk away. I said to the last family member, "I'm sorry, I'm a developer, I'm not in IT Support and this is why... I get too frustrated watching and instructing others. I don't deal with it very well."
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A guy asked me today why his code wont run and it didnt even have a single ; or endl; i straight up ignored the guy later he was all hyped he told me that the huge bug had beeb not using ; this noob literally taught he solved some huge bug....4
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Anybody has any recommendations for a good headset that is over ear, has ANC & is wireless with a base station?
If I can't find a good one, I'm stuck with buying my own ANC headphones or using some "noise cancellation" headset, that literally does not cancel anything.2 -
The worst part about writing JS is not having a reliable development environment. I have literally had three different outputs for THE SAME FUCKING CODE! <sarcasm> It's almost like they are not even complete or something </sarcasm> FML3
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Im finding parts for my brothers new pc, and i really think that Ryzen 5 2600X is a great choice.
But then one of his friends said that Intel is better for gaming, and suggested an i7-8700k.
The price difference doesnt mean much, my brother just wants whats best for gaming, and now im starting to doubt my own decision.
Which CPU would you think is better for gaming only?
Literally gaming only, not even school . Its only gaming.
Lets not start a war, i just want pros/cons, straight up facts or your experience with either :)12 -
I need an idea for a JS coding challenge for a job interview that a poor unlucky person is going to take after me, 'cause i'm leaving..
Requirements: it must be simple, but not simple enough for my other two colleagues. Aka no webpack, no framework, plain js inside a webpage.
My other two colleagues don't even know how to do an array.forEach() or literally how to code in general. They are copy-pastah programmers.
How can i do that without offending anyone?3 -
What everyone needs to remember is there is never a time when I’m not starting to remember or remembering or just in an elevated state of I know you’re up to something so if you al think you’re able to get away with things over and over again you’re looking at this wrong
I’m being given literally an opportunity for revenge every day multiple times a day8 -
Insider tips and tricks for a PhD, if we have grad students of any sort here. Literally anything at all. I'm enthusiastic but not naively so (I like to think), so let's learn stuff from the vets.1
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My company has a GitHub repo for interview questions, but literally 0 of them are practical. We don't go around recursing through shit and/or trying to scuttle through graphs. Like, the opposite. Help me make a stored proc not a stored proc.
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